Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2007 12:01:13 -0700 (PDT)
From: YerrBoi <yungin060@yahoo.com>
Subject: "His smile"  Chapter 4: no more Hiding

       {A shocking beginning, with an even more shocking ending.  The past
is revealed and the future is put into question.  So let's get started.}

       Chapter 4: no more Hiding

       "WHAT THE FUCK YA'LL FAGS DOIN"!  I can't catch my bearings, I was
in shock from what has just happened.  All the while this big intimidating
dude is yelling his lungs out and bathing Henry and I in his saliva.  Who
is this...he looks so familiar, and why the hell would he attack me or
Henry in public?  "I SAID GET THE FUCK UP BITCH"!  I can't tell if he's
talking to me, or the unconscious Henry lying to my side.  My first
instincts are to get up and fight back, win or lose I can't let him walk
all over us for no reason.
       "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT", I yell
trying to sound tougher than I actually am, but still laying on the ground.
       "Ay Ricky man, just leave them fags alone.  They ain't worth it",
one of his boys tell him.  So his name is Ricky...do I even know him?  It
does ring a bell.
       "Nah man, I can't do that.  This homo right here is the one who
turned my brother into a fag like He is"!
       "You're Henry's brother!?!  And you hit him like that?  What the
fuck is wrong with you", I exclaim in a seriously pissed off tone.
       "He ain't gonna brother no more, not since coming home wit that gay
shit ya two been drawing together".  What is he talking about?  Finally
able to stand up, Ricky takes it as a retaliation and rushes toward me.
People watching from in the crowd jump in to hold him back, while a couple
of them try to help me and Henry get up.  What do I do now...I need to
leave, find a way out before he hurts one of us.  I manage to get Henry's
arm over my shoulder and push through the crowd with him.  Knowing my city
well, the police won't be here for another 10 minutes or so, so I have to
get Henry to a safe place in the mean time.  I hear the frantic commotion
around me: some people are trying to stop Ricky from attacking us, some are
trying to get out, but most of them are standing there waiting to see a
fight.  It had become absolutely insane in here, I start to feel like we
might not make it out until Jared comes over to my other side and helps me
carry Henry out the nearest exit.
       "Come on yo, I got a car outside.  I'll get ya'll back home safe,
don't worry".  We get out the panicking room and out to the parking lot
where Jared's girlfriend and sister are waiting inside their car.  He opens
the door while I drag Henry out by his arms and carefully place him in the
car, then the three of us squeeze into the back seat.
       "Oh my goodness, I hope he's okay", Jared's girlfriend exclaims
seeing Henry passed out on my shoulder.
       "He's breathing, he should be fine when he wakes up...except for the
hangover", I reply while she pulls out of the parking lot and drives away
from the madness.
       "Good, that's good.  I'm Nikki, you can call me or Jared if you need
anything hun".
       "Definitely, we got ya back.  Them dudes won't be messing with ya'll
anymore", Jared follows.
       "Thanks guys, but I don't want any trouble.  I think this is
personal, between Henry and his brother.  Make a left.  I don't think we
should all be getting involved".  I tell them this because I plan on
getting involved, and I don't want to drag anyone else into it when it
wasn't any of my business to begin with.
       "That's cool, but remember we go way back so if you need anything,
just gimme a holla", Jared says.  "The gray house right"?
       "Yea, thanks for the ride guys.  I'll let Henry stay the night in
case he doesn't get better.  See you in school Monday Jared", I wave them
off and forget I have to heave Henry through the front door.  Another thing
I realize, Jared's sister hadn't said anything the whole ride.  I wouldn't
even have noticed she was there if I didn't see the front seat was
occupied.  Maybe she's still mad about...whatever she was mad about.
       -But back to the problem at hand.  Hopefully my mom is in bed by
now; she has to get up very early for work on weekends.  While I'm
struggling to get Henry up my front steps, Tori casually steps outside
while talking on the phone.  "Oh God, Derek what happened?  Hold on Tony,
I'll call you back".
       "A fight, he got hit hard, can you help me"?  She rushes over to my
side to pick up the slack.  He's only about the same size as me, yet he
seems so much heavier!  Tori and I manage to carry him into the house and
we all plop onto the sofa.
       "Tell me what happened", she says without wasting any time.
       "It was his brother, I think his name was Ricky.  For no reason he
just came from behind and punched Henry in the face".  I purposely left
something out: that Ricky's punch was actually aimed at me.  If Tori found
that out, she might try to take matters into her own hands.
       "Why would his brother hit him like that?  They must have some
serious family issues".
       "Tell me about it.  Anyway, Henry was pretty wrecked so he's going
to stay the night.  Don't tell mom please, it would be better if she
doesn't find out".
       "Sure bro, just make sure your friend doesn't get any bodily fluids
on the carpet", she says with a smirk.
       "What's that supposed to mean?  We're not going to be having butt
sex or anything...he's unconscious"
       "I meant vomit.  But hey, whatever floats your boat".  She laughs
and stands up to help me carry him up the steps.  As quietly as possible,
we get him to my room and he doesn't flick an eyelid the whole time.  What
the heck was he drinking?  We lay him on the bed and Tori goes on about her
business doing whatever 21 year old girls do at night.  As soon as I sit on
the bed next to the sleeping beauty, everything hits me.  All the
exhaustion, mentally and physically, everything that happened, the most
eventful day of my life!  It all hits me like a piano being dropped over my
shoulders.  Fatigue takes over my body and I can hardly stand up again.  I
guess adrenaline has been doing all the work for the past few hours, and
now the shock is out of my system.  I look over to Henry, the most handsome
face I've ever seen, knowing that it's all his fault!  How could someone so
beautiful be so much trouble?!- I think I just answered my own question.
       Still, watching him rest so peacefully and innocently, it's hard to
imagine that he got me into more jeopardy than I've ever been in.  Not to
mention the load of confusion he's been dropping on me in the past 24
hours.  Now he's here in my bed, the last place you would think your secret
crush would end up.  After what happened at that party, I feel I have a
right to know what's going on between him and his brother, especially since
it sounds like I'm in the middle of it.  As soon as he wakes up, no matter
how hard it is, I'll have to make him explain what happened: everything
from the scar on his face to the new one on his chin.  But right now,
there's nothing I can do but sleep.  I wish I could enjoy being next to
him, but he's not my favorite person in the world right now.  Not to
mention I can't stay awake long enough to...

       [DEREK GET THE DOOR]
       "What"?
       [GET THE DAMN DOOR!]
       Looking over to my clock, the time reads 9:39am.  Looking back over,
I see Henry cuddled up in my arms, with his head just below mine and his
strong arms holding me tight.  I doubt either of us budged the whole night,
the warmth between us feels so good I couldn't imagine wanting to move, but
I want to avoid an awkward moment so I get up anyway.  It's a good thing we
were both fully dressed, or there would have definitely been a few wet
dreams between us two, if not more.
       I knew I should've taken our clothes off.
       [DEREK!]
       "OKAY, I'M COMING, GOSH"!  Big mouth.  I thought I explicitly told
all of my friends to never visit me on a Saturday morning.  Curiosity
prevents me from ignoring the door, that and Tori's big mouth, so I go
downstairs and open the door.
       "You look like hell".
       "Good to see you too Drew.  Why are you here so early"?
       "I did call you yesterday, and last night, and you weren't home.
You weren't at the bus stop, and I know damn well I saw you in class
yesterday.  I was starting to think you were erased from existence", he
says.
       "Awww, you were worrying about me?  That's sweet, you care".  -And
awkwardly familiar.  Just yesterday I had those same feelings about someone
else...
       "Hahaha.  As annoyingly weird as you are, it's not normal for people
to go missing in a matter of minutes.  So can I come in or what"?
       "Ummm, no".
       "Why not, it's okay any other time".
       "Well...Tori...she has {man} company, and you never know when she
might be running around naked in the house", I say to deflect the actual
reason I don't want him inside – Henry.
       "Sweet!  Come on, you've got to let me in there, I'll owe you big
time", he exclaims and rushes past me into the living room.  Stupid me,
just because the thought of my sister naked makes my skin crawl, I figured
it would have the same affect on him.  I just forgot that she wasn't HIS
sister.  So what can I do...
       "Hey, Drew, come on, she'll be mad at me", I whisper.
       "You can just say there was nothing you can do, and I came in
without your permission".  Yea because that would be so out of the question
right?  "I have to tell you something anyway, after that I'll leave, I
promise".
       "Okay, just make it quick".  We head to the living and I sit
opposite him at the small table.  I have to get him out of here before
Henry wakes up.
       "Here's the thing, I think Sandra has her eye on somebody for the
dance, I just don't know who".
       "How do you know"?
       "She told me so.  She said there was someone she wanted to take but
she wouldn't tell me who.  I need you to find out; if it's not me, I need
to know so we can jump that guy and eliminate the competition".
       "HAHAHA- Oh, you're serious"?
       "Yea.  We're not going to hurt anybody, just make sure they aren't
showing up with her.  You know, sabotage, or coerce them into taking
someone else", Drew says with more confidence than I'm comfortable with.
       "Good so you can leave now"?
       "Hold on, where were you all day yesterday"?
       "Just...out".
       "Come on, you're not keeping secrets from me are you?  With who"?
       " Okay, don't get mad...I went to the party with Henry".
       "WHAT?!  Derek you idiot, I told you not to hang out with him"!
       "Why not!?  You never gave me a reason not to"!
       "Okay fine, I'll tell you.  I can't believe you don't already know,
I guess it's cause you went to middle school in Harlem".
       "Well what is it"?  I'm dying to know what's so big of a deal that I
can't have him as a friend, and how half the people at school know
something I don't.
       "Well, back in 8th grade, Henry and I, and a couple other people
from our school all went to school 13.  I think Manny, Cassandra and Hilda
were in our class too".  -All people from our history class.  "Henry was
one the most likeable people in school, just a regular easy-going guy,
until one day...it was the day of the 8th grade prom.  The faculty gave us
the school day to pick our dates for the night later.  So it turns into
this big game of the boys going through the hallway and pretend-proposing
to take the girls to the dance.  I guess a lot of the girls wanted Henry to
ask them out, but Henry had a special proposal in mind.  At the end of the
day, he went to one of the other boys at school and asked him to the dance!
When everyone asked him why, he admitted in front of everyone in the
hallway, that he was gay!  He said he didn't want to go with a girl anyway,
he'd rather go out with some guy.  He had the nerve to be proud of it too!
Of course the teachers found out; they called his parents, they went
through counseling and everything, the other boys' parents moved him to a
whole other school, and the whole class was talking about it.  We didn't
talk to him for the rest of the year, but apparently he turned normal by
the time high school came around because he hasn't done anything gay
since".
       I stare at Drew in shock, literally with my mouth wide open.
       "See, now I bet you won't be seen around town with him", he
continued.  I don't know what to say.  I want to kick him out of my house
for being such a prejudice pig, but he's my best friend.  In his own
twisted way he's just trying to look out for me, but at the expense of
someone else's feelings...someone I care about.  But this means he must
really hate gay people, so if I told him I were gay, would I lose my best
friend?
       "Are you sure that was Henry; everyone at school seems to like him a
lot", I say to hopefully avoid taking either's side.
       "They don't like him, everybody's just nice because they feel sorry
for him.  That's probably why he's so popular anyway, because he was on top
of all the gossip freshman year.  Haha, what a lose-r doing in your
house"!?
       "What"?  Following his gaze, I turn around to see Henry standing at
the bottom of the steps with a look of pure disgust on his face.
       "I don't fucking believe you two.  You said I could trust you
Derek", and with that, he storms out of my house.
       "HEY, NO, WAIT", I call out in vain.
       "Derek what the hell was he doing here, what's going on with you
two", Drew demands.
       "Oh gosh, you need to leave, NOW, I have to-", I hold my tongue.
What's really more important here: trying to console Henry and subsequently
outing myself, or my long and close friendship with Drew.  I know Drew is
wrong for saying those things, and I want to curse him out sooo bad, but I
have to look at the bigger picture.
       "What are you saying, don't try and play games Derek", he says with
more anger in his voice.
       "I said you need to leave, that was my sisters company!  Nobody's
supposed to know they were seeing each other, they both trusted me to keep
it a secret.  Thanks a lot Drew".  The look he's giving me, I can't tell if
he's buying it or not.  "Can you go before my sister comes out and kills us
both"?
       "Okay, I'm going.  You could've just told me you know, it's not like
anyone cares anyway".
       "It's the age difference, that's why it's so hush-hush, so don't
tell anyone you saw Henry here alright"?
       "Alright, but watch out for him.  He might just be trying to get
close to you instead"!  As soon as he steps outside I close the door on him
without so much as a goodbye.  I'll deal with him later, right now I need
to find Henry and clear this up with him.  I run upstairs to change my
shirt, because Henry and I both slept in our clothes, and run outside
without a clue of where I'm going.  Henry couldn't have gotten far, but he
may have been running.  Now I have to figure out what direction to go in;
it would be best to try his house.  I recall him saying during our walk
yesterday that he would sometimes go to the museum to draw things or just
relax, since it was really close to his house.  So I walk in the direction
of the Brooklyn museum with hopes that I'd spot him.  A couple of my
friends live in that part of town so I know exactly how to get there.  I
can't help feeling dumb about this: the whole time it was public knowledge
that the boy I had a crush on came out in 8th grade.  I can't imagine
everyone at school knowing about it though, more likely only the people
that were in that same school, and a couple of the friends they gossip to.
       Running down the block I spot Henry walking quickly ahead of me.
He's still over a block away, but I know it's him because of the reddish
colored shirt.  If I call him, he might start running because he thinks I
was talking about him, so instead I move faster to catch up to him.  After
another block or so, I get several yards away from him without him noticing
I'm there, and he runs into a house (obviously his house) and leaves the
door open.  I know it's rude to just walk into people's houses, but I also
know he could use a friend right about now, so I cautiously enter.  It's a
two or three family apartment building, but luckily I hear can hear Henry
walking up the steps, so he must be on the next floor.  I follow the sounds
of his footsteps to a quiet empty apartment.  Pushing the door open a
little more so I can walk in, the dark and gloomy feel of the apartment
leads me to reconsider going in.  Henry needs my help though, and I can't
let him think I've abandoned him.
       I walk in and hear him sniffing in the near room.  Before speaking,
I peek in and see him on his knees facing away from me with some kind of
paper in his lap.  "...Henry"?
       "Why did you follow me", he replies in an intimidating voice.
       "I wanted you to understand...I had nothing to do with Drew's
hostility towards you.  I didn't know...I'm sorry".
       "Don't worry, I expected it.  But I thought you were different,
silly me".  He takes the poster from out of his lap and tosses it in my
direction.  The poster that was to be our project: it was a drawing of the
two of us, together, facing a large crowd of angry people at the Lincoln
Memorial.  The top of it read "I Also Have a Dream".  It looks like it had
been crumbled up and reopened.  "Sorry", Henry says, "I wasn't going to ask
you out or anything, I just thought you were different- that different
people can still be friends.  You can take the project and do it over if
you want, I know you don't want to speak to me anymore".
       I walk in front of him and kneel down to look him in the eyes.  This
amazing portrait, drawn by this amazing boy, who thinks I hate him.
"Henry, the only thing I want is...is to see you smile again".  He looks up
at me in surprise, expecting me to reiterate, staring at me without a clue
as to what I mean.  His handsome face searching mine for answers, for once
someone else is confused.  I need for him to know how I feel, now is as
good a time as ever.  I put my hand up to his face; he tenses, and I
hesitate, but keep going.  I lean in and slowly, our lips touch, and we
commence in an incredibly passionate kiss.  I can feel the tension melting
away, all the frustration between the two of us leaves as he pulls me in
more deeply.  I've never kissed someone like this before, but he knows what
he's doing.  With his lips, he opens my mouth and shoves his tongue inside.
I meet his tongue with mine, sensually caressing the inside of each others
mouth while our hands do all the dirty work.  Letting myself go, I push
myself over him so that we are on the floor, with me on top and resume our
kiss.
       While kissing him I hear him snickering and open my eyes to see that
he is laughing.  "What's so funny", I ask while lightly kissing his chin.
       "You mean to tell me that all this time we were crushing on each
other and didn't realize it"?
       "Haha, yea, it's good to see you smile again".  But as soon as I say
that, his smile disappears as if he remembers why he wasn't happy in the
first place, which I thought was my fault.  "What's wrong?  I thought you'd
be happy about this"?
       "I am but...Derek, as much as I'd love to, we can't be together.  I
like you, honestly I do, but...I'm sorry".  He moves me from on top of him
and stands up, helping me up too.
       "Why?  What's the problem, you like me and I like you so why can't
we"?  I feel myself starting to break down, but I hold it together to get
the answers I've been dying to know all day.  "I want to know.  Everything!
Yesterday we were like best friends, last night you held me like you adored
me, drunk or not, your demented ass brother tried to kill us both, you
slept in my bed, and today you tell me you don't want to be with me"?!!  He
doesn't say anything, he doesn't even look at me.  All he does is hold the
door open with the intent of me walking out of it.
       "It's too complicated.  That was nothing, don't worry about it.
Maybe it could be different – between us – but right now I think you should
just leave".
       "THAT WAS NOTHING?!  Henry...I'M sorry, because you're making a
mistake.  You're a mistake"!  I take the poster and leave.  I'm fed up with
trying to make him feel better, and fed up with all the secrets.  I'll
finish the damn project by myself.



       I know this chapter took a little longer, but it was necessary to
ensure that it came out perfect.  If the ending worries you, don't be.
There's plenty more that's going to happen, and the two of them aren't done
with each other yet.  They've barely even started.
       Keep up the e-mails: questions, comments and support are always
welcomed.