Date: Wed, 1 Oct 2003 21:42:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jay <lostmindbrbin10min@yahoo.com>
Subject: Homoseduction - Chapters 5 & 6

Welcome back! Hope I still have a few fans out there. lol. This would have
been posted about a week ago, but my editor has been extremely busy. Also,
I hope the format is better on this. It turned out that my editor, Kat,
would send me the edited version, but I would recieve it as a block of text
and just seperate it. Soooo...I sent the origional to her as an attachment,
she sent this back as one, and I'm sending it to Nifty as one also.
Hopefully it keeps the format. :-D Other than the people who e-mailed me
with their comments (and critics *cough* Jamie *cough* hehehe) and Kat,
there's no one else for me to thank this time. I hope you enjoy these
chapters!

This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents
either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.
Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is
entirely coincidental. Copyright Jay Wood 2003.


Chapter 5
Drawn Lines


As the last light faded over the horizon, street lights came on and the
creatures of the night came to life. Frogs croaked, whippoorwills sang,
crickets creaked, and the soft glow of fireflies flickered between the
tress. As I rounded the corner to my house I saw that there were no lights
on inside and my parent's cars were gone, looking for me no doubt. Stepping
onto my yard, I turned my face to the night sky. A sharp pain erupted in my
left eye, causing me to blink several times and rub it. 'What the hell?' I
looked up again to see what might have caused it and I was greeted by many
more pricks on my face: it was raining.

Within seconds, the ground was pounded by driving rain and it made my
emotions flare back to life. I fell to the soggy ground and drove my fists
into the grass several times, splashing mud with each hit. Striking again I
looked up and shouted, "WHY GOD? WHY ME??" But the sound of the rain
quickly drowned out my words. I sat in the grass, hunched over, soaked to
the bone and asked aloud, "Why did he not choose me? Why did he lie to me?
If I mean so much to him why did he choose Luke? Oh God, why?"

Sobbing, I leaned forward and let my head rest on the soft earth beneath me
and dug my fingers into the mud. As if it felt my sorrow, the storm shook
the world with great blows of thunder and several cracks of lightning. I
relaxed my grip and let the rain beat down on me. Water coursed through my
hair and streaked my face to join my already fallen tears. I fell onto my
side and curled into a ball, the heavens above crying with empathy.

Water fell from my face and hair as I climbed the stairs, but I didn't
care. I was soaked, muddy and above all, miserable. Every thought seemed to
be miles away as I flicked my bedroom light on, stripped off my clothes,
and hung them to dry on the side of my hamper. I walked into my bathroom,
and paused at the reflection in the mirror: my shoulder length dark brown
hair was matted to my head and hung in clumps around my thin face, my skin
tinted slightly blue from the cold, and my semi-toned muscles glistened
still wet from the rain. I frowned at how awful I looked and went to the
shower.

Checking for the right temperature, I stepped in and let the warm water
flow around my shoulders, over my chest, and trickle down my legs. Slowly
my body began to warm back up and I found myself feeling somewhat better. I
reached for the shampoo and worked a good lather into my hair. After I
scrubbed to my liking, I wet my washcloth began to slowly wash my body, the
scented soap filling my nostrils with a mountain breeze.

I leaned back into the shower and let it rinse my hair and body. For those
few moments, the world was washed away with the water and down the
drain. My eyelids suddenly felt heavy and I decided it was best to go to
sleep. I did have school tomorrow. I stepped out of the shower, dried off,
and went back to my room.

I sat on the edge of the bed and glanced at my desk where there was a
picture of Chris and me at the beach. The memory of us playing volleyball,
swimming, laughing, talking, and having a good time made want to cry
again. I stiffened my lip and walked over to the desk to pick up the
picture. I stared at it for a few seconds, lightly placing my fingers on
the cold glass, thinking that I would never have that again. I slipped the
picture from the frame, gave it one last look and dropped it into the
trashcan.

I took a deep breath and grabbed my brush from the nightstand. I had just
walked back into the bathroom and turned on the hairdryer when I heard a
knock at my door. I shook my head, turned off the hairdryer, and said,
"Hold on a sec." A more rapid knock came. "God^Áchold on a minute!" I
quickly pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a large T-shirt, and then opened
the door. My mother stood there, her short hair wet from the rain. She
pulled me into a tight hug, but only for a second before saying, "Come down
stairs, please. We need to talk." She led me into the living room where my
father was sitting on the sofa. I rolled my eyes knowing what was about to
happen and plopped down on the loveseat.

My father cleared his throat and asked, "Where have you been?" His voice
was tired and calm.  "At Chris's house," I swallowed hard. I didn't want to
play games tonight.  They both nodded and my mother said, "There's
something your father wants to tell you first." She gave him a stern look,
but quickly looked back to me and smiled. Inside, I wanted to run back to
my room, not deal with this. Not tonight, not ever. I just wanted to be
left alone so I could sort my own thoughts out.

My father leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. He sighed,
looked to my mom, then back to me. "First, I want to apologize for how
angry I got with you this morning. It had nothing to do with you. It was
just the wrong place, and the wrong time. And the fact that you were rude
and disrespected me pushed it." He hesitated a moment before saying, "I'm
sorry." He cleared his throat and continued. "We know you left this morning
when you heard what your mom and I was talking about. I don't know how much
you heard, but apparently not all of it." His left eyebrow slightly raised
and he wanted to know how much I had heard.

"Well," I started, trying not to let my voice get angry. "I heard what you
said about moving to Georgia. That's when I left." I blinked my eyes to
hold back the tears that were forming and it worked.  My mother sighed and
nodded, looking at my father to see if he wanted her to tell me what
happened afterward and continuing when he nodded. "After you left, I
managed to calm your dad down and we talked things out. We decided that it
would be up to you and your actions." She folded her hands in her lap. "If
your grades don't improve, if your attitude doesn't get better, and if you
keep smoking - then we'll send you to Georgia. However," she nodded, "if
those things do improve then you can stay here. The decision is yours,
Jay."

It was so easy for them to just lay down the lines and say "don't cross
this," but now that I knew where they were, it would be even harder not to
cross them. I don't think parents ever realized that. You could tiptoe all
you want, but eventually you'll loose your balance and land on the other
side. I leaned back and crossed my legs with my right ankle on my left
knee. Why hadn't they said anything about Chris? I raised an eyebrow
suspiciously at them, I still didn't want to play games and I was tired.

My mom caught the look, got up, and sat next to me. She placed her hand on
mine. "We love you, Jay. Very much. You gave us a good scare when you left
and we weren't so sure you'd come back." Her voice was low and sincere, and
filled with exhaustion. She pulled me into a hug and whispered, "Even if we
don't say it a lot or show it very often, we do love you." I gently hugged
her back, but my mind was elsewhere.

They were acting so strange and it worried me. Though my father was firm
with his word, his eyes showed something I'd rarely ever seen before, and
that was fear. Were they that scared that I wouldn't come home? Even if
they were, there was something else behind it all, but I couldn't figure
out what it was, and that made me even more suspicious. My dad had also
raised my curiosity about why he got so mad.

My mom pulled away and wiped the wetness from here eyes and stood up. My
father followed suit and said, "Are you ok with what we said?" I slowly
nodded my agreement and my father said, "Good. Time for bed then. You've
got school tomorrow." He smiled a little and followed my mother
upstairs. When they reached the top he looked back, said good night, and
then went into their bedroom.

I sat on the couch for awhile, my mind busy with a million things at
once. I finally came to the conclusion that I simply didn't know enough to
try and figure it out, but that I would definitely try to get one of them
to talk, probably my mom. I yawned, stood up and stretched long and hard. I
climbed back upstairs and crawled into bed, sleep taking over only after a
few short minutes.



Chapter 6 Hide and Seek


I was awake before the alarm went off by at least thirty minutes. I just
lay there, dreading today. Chris would be at school, I knew it, but I kept
my hopes up that he would skip today. Just after the alarm went off, I was
headed downstairs for something to eat and it had just occurred to me that
I had nothing to eat yesterday. The kitchen floor was cold to my bare feet
as I went to the pantry. I opened the door and scanned what we had; cereal,
spaghetti, Pop-Tarts, oatmeal, and more cereal. My stomach let out a
roar. It didn't care what I ate, so long as it was food. I grabbed a
package of maple and brown sugar oatmeal and a package of blueberry
Pop-Tarts.

After eating I headed back upstairs and got dressed, selecting a pair of
black Jnco jeans with a green glow-in-the-dark strip going down the sides
and a dark blue shirt just tight enough to hug my body and show off what
muscle I had. I went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, shaved, put on
deodorant, and tied my hair back. I stood in front of the mirror and
scanned my reflection; something was missing. "Oh!" I said aloud, realizing
what it was.

I went back to my room, found my black leather belt, and scanned the room
for my choker. I turned around a few times before I saw where it was and
walked over to my desk and picked it up, glancing into the trashcan for
only a second at the picture. I cursed myself for taking the choker off in
the first place and put it on. My clothes may be gothic, skater, slacker,
freak or whatever you wanted to call them, but the necklace was something
else. It was a braided twist hemp necklace and the day I bought it, I took
my ankh from of my other necklace and put it on this one. It wasn't much,
but it meant a lot to me for some reason, and hey, it looked good.

I filled my pockets with the usual junk I kept in them, slung my khaki book
bag from my left shoulder, lifting the flap to check that my books and
folders where there. It was good thing that I'd be at school early 'cause I
had homework. The thought made me think of Chris again and I busied myself
with finding my CD player. It, like the necklace, was also on the desk,
along with my CD's.

I looked them over trying to decide what I wanted to listen to. My eyes
stopped on Linkin Park's Meteora album, but I looked over them again and
this time my eyes stopped on one of my favorite bands: Evanescence. My mind
ran over the songs and I almost decided against it because most of the
songs would make me think of Chris, but the loud music and Amy Lee's voice
outweighed my thoughts.

My dad's car was still in the driveway when I left, but I didn't think
anything of it. My mind was trying to think of a way I could get to school
without having to walk by Chris's house, but there wasn't one. I would just
walk on the other side of the road and not even glance in that direction. I
pushed play on my CD player and without realizing it; I was lip singing to
Going Under. My head was bent, but my eyes kept a watch out for anyone, and
they happened to look at Chris's house. I clenched my jaw and tightened my
grip on the strap of my book bag. Luke's car was in the driveway.

'Son of a bitch, I bet he's been there since last night. God, why did I
ever let myself fall for someone like Chris? All he cares about is getting
laid. That's all you would have been to him, Jay.' I told myself. 'He
didn't love you. He just wanted a good fuck.' I swallowed hard and a little
voice in the back of my head said, 'You're the one that ran, Jay. He's with
Luke because you took too long to tell him that you're gay. The love is
mutual, but he's with someone else. You should try to understand that. If
he wasn't with Luke, he would have stayed with you for many years.' The
other voice broke in, 'What the hell do you know? It's all icky love stuff
to you isn't it? This is reality Jay, welcome to the real world.' I laughed
out loud. People go to the loony-bin for arguing with themselves.

A tear streaked down my cheek and I rubbed at it with my shoulder and
noticed that I was now standing directly across the street from Chris's
house. I blinked my eyes several times and forced myself to keep
walking. Reaching the end of the road, I walked up to the fence that
separated my neighborhood from the football field of the school and put my
left foot into one of the links, pushed up and jumped over. The music
skipped when I landed, but I paid it no attention. I routinely followed the
path that went around the field. There were a few jocks practicing and a
few cheerleaders pretending not to gawk at the jocks. None of them took
notice of me. Why should they? To them I was just a low class nobody, and
that was fine with me. There were plenty of times that I was glad that I
never fit in with preps. They were fake people and would have no direction
after school. One day they would look up and realize they weren't so
popular anymore and that no one cared what they had to say.

I smiled to myself. I was glad to just be me and I didn't fit in on
purpose. I had tried a few times, yes, but only to be rejected because I
didn't wear this brand, or listen to that music, or just flat out because I
didn't act a certain way. I had friends in just about every group though,
and they accepted me for me; that's all that mattered to them. Tara, a
really good and close friend, once saw that I was trying to fit in with the
preps and she said to me, "Ya know^ÁcI like you 'cause you're Jay." She
hugged me and since then, I haven't tried to fit in anywhere. I wear what I
like, listen to what pleases me, and act how I feel.

I lifted the latch on the gate and headed through the almost empty parking
lot, paying no attention to the rednecks that were jumping up and down on
the back of a heavily mudded truck. I thought over my schedule and frowned,
knowing that I had lunch period at the same time as Chris and that we both
shared fifth and six period. I sighed and entered through the back of the
gym. The harsh smell of sweat and old equipment filled my nose and I held
my breath. I was very thankful that you only had to take gym once as I
walked out a door that leads into the school garden. I exhaled and inhaled
the scent of many different flowers and I sneezed, like every morning.

There were a few couples sitting on the benches making out and talking, but
I didn't recognize anyone. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw someone
running toward me. I turned to see Tara running as fast as she could with a
huge smile on her face. I relaxed and put my headphones around my neck. She
stopped just short of me and fixed her long black hair. "Oh my God! You
will NOT believe what happened last night!" She said jumping up and down. I
laughed a little and said, "Tara, with you, I'd believe anything."  She
rolled here eyes and continued. "You remember that guy Josh I told you
about, right? The one with short curly hair, nice butt?"  I shook my
head. "You gotta be kiddin' me, Tara. You've only known him for two weeks!"
She giggled and a wide grin fell across her face. "It was SO good! You just
don't know, Jay. I coulda gone all night with that."  I rolled my eyes at
her. "Tara, you're such a slut." I gave her a sarcastic grin to show I was
kidding. She and I always bounced jokes off each other.

Her jaw dropped and she punched my left arm, hard. "Hey! I was kidding!" I
said as I rubbed my arm.  "Jay, you're such a sissy." She grabbed my book
bag and slung it around her neck, the bag handing in front of her, and we
walked across the garden. "And the good news-" "Oh, there's good news?" I
said and nudged her with my elbow.  "Shut up. Anyway^Áclike I was sayin'
the good news is, I think he's bi." She winked at me. "He kept tryin-" I
put my hand up. "I don't even want to know."  She laughed. "You
interested?"  I fell silent because I was thinking about Chris again. 'Why
the hell did he lead me on when he had a boyfriend?' I barely noticed that
I opened another door and headed down the hall.  Tara pushed me from behind
and said, "Hey! You hear what I said?"  I turned and looked at her. "What'd
you say?"  She put a hand on her waist and snapped her other hand in my
face. "Boy, wake the hell up. You hear anything I said so far?"  "First
off, don't snap your fingers in my face," I said as I snapped mine in
hers. "Second, you were talking about that guy. You think he's bi."  She
clicked her tongue, "I asked if you was interested. Are ya?"  We started
walking again and we reached my locker before I answered. "Thanks^Ácbut
I'd rather not take leftovers." We laughed and I put in my combination
code, opening my locker. "I didn't take it ALL, Jay. There's still some
juicy meat left." She winked again.

Tara held up my bag and I opened the flap to take out my fourth, fifth, and
sixth period books and folders and set them in my locker. I didn't have
homework for them. Before I closed the locker door, I looked at all the
pictures taped on it and ripped off the ones with Chris in them, holding
back the tears that wanted to form. I wouldn't let him ruin my day. I
crumbled them in my hand and shut the door. Tara raised an eyebrow at
me. "What was that about? I thought ya'll was best friends?"  I took my
book bag from around her neck and put it back on my shoulder, and then
said, "Was being the key word in that sentence." I shut the locker door.
"Ooo^Ácdamn, Jay. You're gunna have to tell me 'bout it at lunch, ok? I
gotta go. Got people to do and things to see." She giggled and hugged
me. "You'll be ok, right?" I nodded. She smiled and kissed my cheek. "See
ya later!"

The cafeteria was slowly filling up and the talk of how everyone's weekend
filled the air. I spotted a table in a back corner and headed toward it,
throwing the pictures into a trashcan. I pulled out a chair and pulled
everything from my bag. I set my Animation folder aside; we never have
homework in there, and opened my Algebra II folder. There was a note I had
scribbled on Friday, 'Homework: Page 287-288 (problems 5-40), 291 (problems
10-30), and page 292-294 (all problems.)'

I grunted and closed the folder, set it aside, and opened my Biology II
folder. Like the Algebra folder, there was a scribbled note, 'Homework:
Read chapters eight & nine. Do the Check For Understanding and short
essay.' "Shit." I said in a whisper. "The one weekend where everything goes
wrong and I have a ton of homework. Great." I put my books and folders back
into my book bag. I realized that my headphones were still around my neck
and I quickly put them and the CD player into my book bag. It was a strict
rule not to have any electronic device in school and they somewhat enforced
it.

Having decided not to do my homework, I was left with nothing to do. So I
left the cafeteria and headed to Animation, my first period. I stepped into
a bathroom and went into a stall, thankful that no one else was in
here. While I was relieving myself, I read some of the "ads" on the
walls. 'Call Alex for a good time at 555-5480.' That was boring. 'I'm gay.'
Yeah, me too. 'FAG.' Right. I shook my head. "Dumb rednecks," I said as I
finished and flushed the toilet, careful to touch the handle as little as
possible, and went to the sink to wash my hands.

As long as I kept myself busy today, I wouldn't have time to think of
Chris. I just had no idea how I'd make it through fifth and sixth
period. He sits right next to me in both, and it would be a very slim
chance that either teacher would let me switch seats. I dried off my hands
and walked out of the bathroom. The halls were filling up now and I looked
at a clock in a teacher's room; 7:55. Still twenty-five minutes till school
started. As I walked down the hall a few people waved to me or asked how my
weekend was. I just shrugged and told them that it was alright and said
that I'd see them later.

I turned down a different hall and there, at his locker, was Chris. I
stopped dead where I was and remembered that I was supposed to be going in
the opposite direction. 'Please don't see me. Please don't see me,' I
thought to myself and kept walking. I heard a locker shut behind me and
Chris's voice called out, "Hey Jay! Wait!" I sped up and quickly walked up
the hall I just came down, Chris still calling after me. I turned my head
to see if he was following me and sped up because he was. He saw me speed
up and started to jog.

I practically jumped through the doors into the library and quickly hid
behind a bookshelf. I heard the doors open and could just barely see
through the books. Chris glanced over the room and walked to the other side
of the library, then left. I let out a great sigh of relief, left the
library, and took the long way to Animation.


Author's Note: That was pretty close, huh? lol. But Jay can't run and hide
from Chris forever...especially later in the day. We shall see what
happens. :-\ Awwww....I do have some bad news though: Chapter 7 will be
delayed for a while more than likely. I'm taking a trip to Michigan for
about a month and a half. I don't much plan to do any writing while I'm
there. Sorry. >_< I do hope that you will stick around and find out what
happens though. Take care and, as usual, feel free to e-mail me with your
comments!