Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2012 06:27:12 +0000
From: whiteryan65@gmail.com
Subject: I cannot be gay ch 1

Hey friends!

THIS IS NOT A QUICK SEX STORY!!! But if you are into Highschool romance, I
can promise you, you will enjoy this one.

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Hugz,
Ryan

I cannot be gay

2008

"Okay class, we have a brand new student today, now you all know how crap
it can be coming to a new school at age 12, so please don't scare him off
the very first day. You have the whole entire year to do that!"

Most of the class snickered. Mr Janson was shit funny and super
cool. Everyone wanted him to be their teacher as he was only 23 himself and
was a teenager himself not so long ago.

"Okay dudes and gals, this young man here next to me is Jonathan Riley and
he has transferred from Brackenfell High. Uhm...Deano, where's Brandon
today?"

"He's absent, Sir. His mom called mine this morning and said he had spots
all over him. Looks like chickenpox. I don't think he'll be here for a
while, because I had chickenpox for like two weeks."

"Yeah yeah, Smartass. Okay, while Brandon is sick, you can just as well use
his desk until he gets back, Jonathan. Get your ass over there pronto!"

Everyone high fived Jonathan as he made his way to his desk in the Grade 6
class. They normally suckerpunched the new students but
seriously...Jonathan Riley seemed like a really cool dude. He was tall,
slender and while dressed in his school uniform, he had sunglasses tucked
into his shirt, his hair was gelled mohawk style and he was a very handsome
young kid for the tender age of twelve. Some of the young girls would have
gotten wet between their legs if they were a few years older. Jonathan
finally arrived at his desk and sat his backpack down on top before sitting
down. As it was the first day of school, there wasn't lots to be done and
Mr Janson just allowed the kids to mellow for the day.

"Hey dude! I'm Deano Richards, nice to meet ya," the kid sitting next to
Jonathan said, holding out his hand for the latter to shake.

"Awe yourself! You already heard my name is Jonathan Riley. Damn man, I
hate these awkward introductions when you come to a new school. Have been
through it three times before. At least this one was more awesome than the
others."

"Why, what happened with those times?"

"Dude...like for real...first time I had to change schools was when my mom
was transferred from Potchefstroom to Polokwane. The kids in my class
totally ignored me. It was only like three weeks after that some boys asked
me to play soccer with them. And only when I seemed to impress them, I made
friends. A year later my mom was transferred AGAIN, this time to
Brackenfell here in Cape Town. To make matters worse, I had a Gauteng
accent which the dudes there didn't like. I was kinda a social outcast
there. That was until one day I was eating my lunch by myself under a tree
near the sportsfield watching a cricket game. This one dude, they just
could NOT catch him out, and suddenly he smacked the ball way up high in
the air. I was watching and saw the ball heading towards me. Dude...for
some reason I jumped up and held out my hands to catch the ball. I DID IT!
That's when the other guys surrounded me and ordered me to play with
them. The rest is like history. I wonder what I have to do here to get
friends."

"Don't worry, dude. If you want me as a friend, you got it!" Deano said
with a sly smile.

"Cool beans! Hey...who's this Brandon guy Mr Janson asked you about?"

"He's my best friend. We've known eachother since Kindergarden."

"Shit...then he'll be angry as hell for me taking his desk."

"Relax man, Brandon is easy. Like I said, he's got Chickenpox. Doesn't make
sence for his desk to stand there empty when you could use it."

"Thanks, Deano! I really hope me and you can be good friends," Jonathan
said, holding out his fist to the latter.

"Deal, Jono!" Deano said, pumping his first to Jonathan's. Although only
twelve years of age, both boys could sence this was the start of something
great.



MARCH 2009

"Why don't you just fucking make HIM your best friend? You never wanna
hangout with me anymore anyway!"

"Brandon that's not true, dude! What the fuck makes you think that?"

"Please Deano, I'm not fucking stupid! Ever since he came here last year,
you two have been tight. I always feel like a fucking third wheel when we
do stuff together!"

"Well, you're wrong! Dude, how long have we known eachother? Seriously?
Jonathan is cool, but he'll never replace you as my best friend! I can't
believe you're actually saying all this."

Deano walked away from the pool and sat in one of the pool chairs, holding
his head in his hands. This was not the first time Brandon had accused him
of this. For Brandon, he felt like he was losing Deano. Over the past year
he had gotten...well feelings towards Deano that was weird and that he
couldn't explain. He wanted to be with him all the time, and when he was at
home, watching TV or even just swimming or reading, his mind travelled to
Deano ALL the time. He didn't know what to make of it...until one night
when he couldn't fall asleep. He went downstairs to pour himself some
milk. Without thinking, he warmed the milk up in the microwave. When he
drank some, he immediately thought of a time when Deano was sleeping over,
and he couldn't sleep either. Brandon also went downstairs that evening to
warm some milk for his best friend...Brandon closed his eyes and downed the
milk all in one go. Now even WARM MILK made him think of Deano?? Wanting to
be with him so bad right now??

When Brandon got back into bed, he finally realised what was happening. It
hit him like a stinker! Oh God...he was in love with Deano...he had
feelings, deep loving feelings for his best friend. This wasn't happening!
Oh God, please, no!

But here they were, fighting yet again over Deano's tight friendship with
Jonathan Riley. Over the past year those two have become inseparable. And a
lot of times, Deano reluctantly had to tell Brandon that they couldn't hang
out, or go to the movies, or have sleepovers, because he had already made
plans with Jonathan. It wasn't easy for Brandon to accept. He HATED
Jonathan so bad.

"Dude, if you can't trust me when I say that you're my boy, my best friend,
then I dunno what to do anymore. We're going to Highschool next year, we're
probably gonna make a bunch of new friends then aswell. Are you gonna be
like this EVERY time that I get new friends? Dude, I don't wanna fight
anymore," Deano said, looking sadly at the water floating around in the
pool.

That night, Brandon poured his heart out in his diary. No one knew that he
had one. He knew it was very "girly" having a diary to write stuff in about
whatever, but he COULD NOT talk to anyone about what he was going
through. That's why he thought it best to write his thoughts down on paper.

"I think about Deano all the time. His smile. His laugh. His face. I just
wanna hold him and spend time with him. Am I gay? God, I hope not. Maybe
this is all just part of growing up? I CAN'T be in love with him! Its
probably because we have been friends for so long that I feel this way. Yes
that must be it. This afternoon when we were swimming, I kept staring at
his tummy. My cock got hard doing that. He's so strong. I know this is
wrong. But I can't stop feeling like this..."



NOVEMBER 2009

Deano and Jonathan entered Deano's room and closed the door behind
them. Jonathan got such a sympathy for his best friend, who looked like he
hadn't slept for over a week. He just didn't know how correct he was! Ever
since Deano had heard of Brandon's death, he was smashed onto the
ground. He didn't wanna eat, he didn't wanna see anybody, talk to
anybody. He just wanted to be left alone. Ofcourse Jonathan didn't care
about all that. He was gonna be there for his best friend no matter what.

"Deano..." Jonathan whispered, placing his arm on the other boy's
shoulder. There was no responce from Deano, other than a shudder from his
body. Jonathan saw that Deano was trying very hard not to cry, perhaps
wanting to be strong for Brandon's memory. Even when he heard that Brandon
and his mom was in a severe car accident on the way back from MacDonalds,
he forced himself NOT to cry. It was not what Brandon would have
wanted. Just the week before, they had ANOTHER huge argument.

"DUDE!! This is getting insane, okay?"

"No its NOT! We had plans, Deano! I waited like a fucking zombie at the ice
rink for over an hour!"

"Dude, I said I was sorry! But I hadn't seen Jonathan in two weeks, because
he was grounded, remember? I was about to leave when he came to my house
and asked me to sleep over! I thought that me and you had enough time while
he was grounded. I just forgot to call you and let you know, I didn't do it
on purpose!"

"Yeah right, Deano. Fact of the matter is, you chose between me and
Jonathan, and Jonathan won. You know what, this friendship is OVER. Stay
the fuck away from me. I hope you and Jonathan will be very happy."

"Brandon, don't do this, dude! Come on, get back here, we can sort this
out..."

"No, Deano! You chose. I would have NEVER asked you to chose between me and
Jonathan, but you did. Just stay away from me."

That was the last time, before hearing about he accident, that Deano saw or
spoke to Brandon. And the guilt was eating him up inside ever so
slowly. His shoulders started to shake and tremble slightly. And before he
could stop himself, a couple of tears escaped from his young eyes. Jonathan
immediately saw this and he sat next to Deano on the bed. His arms
spontaniously went around his best friend, who, as hard as he tried,
couldn't stop the tears. It was the first time since hearing of Brandon's
death that he allowed himself to cry. There was only so much a 13 year old
boy could take.



2011

"You gotta be fucking kidding me? You finally found a girl stupid enough to
go with you?" Deano laughed as he threw down his backpack on the kitchen
table and reached into the fridge looking for something for him and
Jonathan to eat.

"Fuck you, Deano! She's blond, she hot and she's SEXY as hell. I'm gonna
put you and Cherise to shame, my man!" Jonathan replied with a smile.

"She may be all those things...but which one of the two of us will actually
be getting laid...?" Deano shot back.

"Well hopefully both of us. Jeez I can't believe that nerd Frankie Peterson
had sex and we still haven't. I dunno how he convinced Lacey to fuck him."

"Hey, be glad it wasn't you otherwise she would be pregnant with YOUR baby
and not his right now!"

"Fuck don't put that in my head..." Jonathan said, taking a bite from the
chicken mayo sandwhich that Deano made. After pouring them each a glass of
Coke, and taking a bag of potato chips, they made their way up to Deano's
room.

"What are you gonna wear, Jono? For Saturday night?" Deano asked.

"Probably my mom will help me pick something. I'm fifteen, what do I know
about suits and stuff," Jonathan said, gulping down his Coke.

"Damn I was hoping you could help me haha! Can you believe it, dude? Our
first dates alone with girls. Waited way long enough."

"Damn right that dude! Hey...can I ask you something?" Jonathan said,
suddenly turning a bit red.

"Sure buddy, whatsup?"

"Have you ever...kissed a girl?"

"Damn...no I haven't. Cherise wanted to earlier in the year when she found
out that I had a crush on her, but I chickened out. I don't really know how
to."

"Fuck, neither do I. And I KNOW that Marlene will expect me to. Dude, I
really don't wanna make a ass of myself. She's one of those girls who tells
her girlfriends like EVERYTHING."

"I suppose we could always practise before or something," Deano said,
opening the bag of chips.

"Yeah right, who will we pay to do that?" Jonathan asked with a frown on
his face.

Over the years Jonathan had grown into a very sexy young teenage boy. His
once mohawk style hair had been transformed into a messy mop. Girls goes
CRAZY over him. Daily workouts with Deano had done wonders for his
body. His once slender and thin frame has made way for a real teenage six
pack, somewhat ripped chest and strong arm muscles. Deano's blond hair had
made way for a buzz cut over the years and it has remained that way. He too
was good looking, although not nearly as Jonathan. His stomach abs were
tight and compact due to all the crunches he did.

"Dude, I can promise you now...if we go around school asking girls to kiss
us, it will be all over. No girl would wanna touch us if they knew we can't
kiss."

If only Deano knew how wrong he was.

"Yeah man, I also don't like the idea of trying to kiss a girl, not knowing
what the fuck I'm doing. Well, there goes that plan. We just have to hope
and pray that nothing goes wrong Saturday night," Jonathan sighed, popping
a couple of chips in his mouth.

"Unless..."

"Unless what?" Jonathan asked with his mouth full.

"Nah...forget it. It was just a fucked up idea."

"Deano...out with it, or I'll fuck you up. You know I can."

"Dude...Okay...Just for a moment a thought went through my head that if we
weren't okay with kissing girls not knowing how to...perhaps we could just
PRACTISE on...you know..."

"What? Your not making sence."

"You know...maybe we could practice on...eachother."

"ARE YOU CRAZY?? Deano, that's homo shit!"

"Jonathan, relax! It was just a thought! We can't ask girls to practise how
to kiss. That's gonna make us look fucked. So who then? Dude, I totally
trust you, you're my best friend. And its not like we're gonna fall in love
or any gay shit like that. I don't wanna KISS you either, buddy, but what
else is there left to do? Hire a stripper?"

"Okay, okay! You've made your point. I'm not gonna feel cool doing that,
man. And I know you're not going to either. I understand where you're
coming from, but no."

"Cool dude. FUCK...its kinda a relief!"

Both Deano and Jonathan went about their ways the coming week. It was
nearly Saturday and there was a lot to think about and to organise. But the
pressure of being alone with a girl for the first time was getting to both
boys. The fact that they didn't know how to kiss properly was heaving on
them. The fear of being made fun of by Cherise and Marlene was
terrifying. Therefore...Deano was getting ready to go out to watch Harry
Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 with Jonathan the Friday night before
the dance. His mom let Jonathan in and Deano could immediately see that
something was wrong.

"Dude...I'm freaking out. This afternoon Marlene said that she hopes that I
can kiss better than her previous boyfriend. And I have NEVER kissed in my
life! FUCK...."

"Jonathan, you're gonna get a heart attack, dude! Chill, lets go to the
cinema and you'll forget all about it."

Jonathan was sleeping over that night and when they returned, all they
could talk about was how Harry defeated Voldemort, how old they looked at
the end, how cool and awesome the movie was.

"Dude!! Did you see Ron and Hermione kiss in the Chamber of Secrets? I was
like...GET A ROOM!!"

"Deano, you idiot! I totally forgot about the kiss until now!"

"Damn...sorry Jono. I really didn't mean to." Deano knew what Jono was
going through. He was dreading tomorrow night himself.

"Dude...does that plan of yours still stand? That we, me and you, can
practise kissing for tomorrow night?"

Deano turned around and looked at Jonathan. The dude was shaking. He had a
reputation for being a chick magnet. Tomorrow night was gonna be so shit
for him, if he kisses Marlene and she hates it. Deano sighed and sat down
on his bed.

"Okay man. Yeah, we can try that. Just kissing, nothing else, okay?"

"Fuck you, Deano! I'm not a fucking fag!"

"Yeah right. Sit your ass down, Jono."

Jonathan nervously sat down next to Deano. He couldn't look his best friend
in the eyes for some reason. He kept fiddling with his fingers.

"Are we gonna do this, or not, dude?" Deano asked, a tremble of fear in his
voice. Finally Jonathan looked up at Deano. He tried to picture Marlene
sitting next to him. He was gonna kiss MARLENE. Not DEANO. But as hard as
he tried, he kept seeing his best friend of three years. Neither one of
them was quite willing to make the first move.

Three long, awkward minutes past.

Jonathan just couldn't handle it anymore. Everything was getting WAY too
hectic for him. First the fear for kissing Marlene tomorrow night, and that
she'll be disapointed, and now it was creating shit between him and
Deano. His best friend.

FUCK THIS SHIT.

Jonathan lunged forward and grabbed Deano close to him. He passionately
placed his lips on Deano's and started kissing him. Deano didn't know WHAT
hit him. But as the kiss went on...both boys felt a sence of naturalism
stepping in. It was like they KNEW instinctively what to do. Deano gave as
good as he got from Jonathan and kissed his best friend back with all he
had.

Eventually a hand from Jonathan landed on Deano's cheek, caressing
it. After a few seconds, Deano returned the favour, his hand wandering
upwards into Jonathan's hair.

Then something happen both boys were TOTALLY unprepared for. It just felt
so RIGHT...Jonathan leaning down and starting to kiss Deano's neck. Deano
moaning softly while his left hand caressed Jonathan's hair, while his
right was rubbing his back. The moan from Deano was the trigger. Both boys
scattered away from eachother, both breathing heavily. Both were staring
into eachothers eyes with shock and confusion. Both of them had felt
it. There had been a spark. A massive one. More than a spark to be
precise. Jonathan was the one who suggested they do this tonight. He
couldn't understand the feelings and emotions running through him right
now. And neither could Deano. They were STRAIGHT. They have ALWAYS been.

Jonathan reached out to Deano and took hold of his hand. Big mistake.

"What the fuck? Let go!" Deano yelled.

"Dude...I'm so sorry..."

"Yeah fuck you, Jono! FUCK YOU!!" Deano replied and stormed out of his own
room. Jonathan was too shocked to move. Later on that night, he went down
to look for Deano and he found him curled up on the sofa. For the first
time ever...Jonathan looked that Deano as more than just his goofy best
friend. But what about their friendship? Deano was so angry...Had he just
totally ruin the best friendship he ever had? He couldn't understand it!!
He wasn't gay!! For fuck's sake...Deano wasn't gay!!

Little did he know...that Deano was dreaming. Dreaming of kissing
Jonathan. Part of him wanted to wake up. But part of him wished he never
did.



END OF THE FIRST CHAPTER!!! Please mail me if you enjoyed the story!!  Send
me an e-mail at whiteryan65@gmail.com I always make sure that I reply to
each and every one I get!

Ryan White