Date: Sat, 29 Dec 2012 05:43:26 +0000
From: whiteryan65@gmail.com
Subject: I cannot be gay ch 2

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I cannot be gay

Last chapter: Deano and Brandon were best friends from Kindergarden. That
was until Jonathan Riley came to town and he and Deano became
friends. Brandon became jealous of the budding friendship between Deano and
Jonathan and frequently attacked Deano about it. Brandon also discovered at
the tender age of 13 that he was in love with his best friend,
Deano. Tradgedy struck when Brandon and his mom was killed in a car
accident, and thus Deano and Jonathan's friendship blossomed. Two years
later, they both had dates for the upcoming school dance, but neither of
the two boys knew how to kiss! Deano suggested to Jonathan that they
practise on eachother, an idea which the other boy immediately rejected,
however, as the dance came closer, Jonathan's reputation as a chick magnet
was under threat, as he was scared his date would make fun of him. The two
best friends kissed, and they had nothing to worry about as it came
naturally. HOWEVER?both boys felt something MORE. Something that wasn't in
the script. Something that wasn't meant to happen with just a "practise"
kiss. Deano chased Jonathan out of his room, and for the first time both
boys saw eachother as more than just "best friends".


Chapter 2

It was Saturday afternoon. The dance was happening that same evening. Deano
was going with Cherise and Jonathan was going with Marlene. Neither of the
two was thinking about their dates at that moment...

Deano woke up that same morning with a terrible headache. He had slept on
the couch in the living room, so his back was a little fucked. That was
probably also what caused the headache. He so hoped that it was a dream,
but he knew it wasn't. If it was, he wouldn't have been sleeping on the
couch. Deano shook his head, trying to will the memory of what he and
Jonathan did the previous night out of his head. Ok...it was him who
suggested that they practise kissing on eachother! But he didn't know it
would feel like THIS!! The moment Jonathan's lips touched his own last
night, both boys felt it. Both boys knew there was something more. If Deano
didn't give out a loud moan when Jonathan started to kiss his neck, which
made them pull apart, God knows where they might have ended up. Deano stood
up and walked over to the mirror. His dad rented a tux for him and his mom
helped him get ready. He looked really handsome. Against his will he
wondered what Jonathan would be wearing.

That morning he came into his room and found Jonathan sitting on the bed,
with his head in his hands. The moment the latter saw his best friend, he
stood up and started to apologise.

"Dude, I'm so sorry, what happened last night..."

"NOTHING happened last night, Jonathan."

"But we kis..."

"I said...NOTHING happened, Jono!"

There was a deadly silence. Jonathan went about to making the bed and
packing his bag for going home. Deano entered the bathroom to brush his
teeth and wash his face. The silence was deadly. They didn't talk again
that morning. Both wanted to, but neither had the guys to break the
ice. Finally Jonathan's mom sent him a text that she was outside waiting
for him.

"Uhm...I gotta go. See you later at the dance?" he asked Deano.

"Yeah man, whatever."

Jonathan walked over to the door and opened it. But before he left, he
turned around one more time. He knew that Mr and Mrs Richards had left to
return the DVD's that they rented last night, so they were alone.

"Deano...for fuck's sake, we gotta talk about what happened!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jono."

"FUCK YOU! We kissed, you fucker! You felt it too! Don't just sit there and
tell me shit that you didn't!"

Like a lightning flash, Deano lept up and grabbed Jonathan by his shirt. He
pushed him against the wall. His eyes were blasting fire.

"For the last time...NOTHING happened. Get that into your thick skull,
okay!"

"You can deny it all you like, Deano!" Jonathan said as he pushed Deano
back and away from him. "But you KNOW what we did. You can't wish it away."

And with that, Jonathan left and Deano grabbed the nearest item he could
find, a glass ornament belonging to his mom and threw it across the room as
hard as he could. He felt that their friendship had just ended the same way
as the ornament did when it had splattered into a thousand little glass
shards. Deano beathed in and out very deeply.

"I'm NOT gay. I'm NOT gay. I'm NOT gay..." he whispered to himself over and
over and over. Because he knew that Jonathan was right. He wanted to kiss
him again. SO BADLY...

Deano's dad drove him to the dance, but first they had to stop at Cherise's
house to pick her up. Luckily their dad's played Golf together and knew
eachother reasonably well. Deano's dad also warned him that he needed to
take things slowly with Cherise, and that if it comes to it, to use the
condom that he sneaked into Deano's jacket pocket. When Cherise came down
the stairs, looking so glamerous and so beautiful, even for a fifteen year
old girl, Deano didn't even notice her. He was too busy thinking about
Jonathan. That kiss last night...when he felt Jonathan's lips against his
neck, remembering how Jonathan's thick black hair felt between his
fingers...

For Jonathan Riley it was just as bad. He couldn't stop thinking about his
best friend all day either. He searched on the internet when he got home
about situations like these. Every angle he got to suggested that he was
gay. That was BULLSHIT!! He wasn't fucking gay! Finally he found a website
where someone posted a question, it was a seventeen year old boy who asked
for some advice. Apparantly the boy wasn't gay, had been straight all his
life and fucked girls like no man's business, but recently he had been
getting feelings for his best guy friend. Jonathan very carefully read
through the comments on the post...there was one which caught his
attention.

"Dude...it's just a phase. All boys your age and even younger has a moment
where they notice another boy to be attractive. 90% of them go on to get
married and have kids. He is your BEST friend, its natural to have
"friendship" feelings for him. But its also normal if sometimes, those
feelings can turn into something more, especially if you two are close."

Even before the kiss last night, Jonathan knew he loved Deano. Fuck's sake,
he was his best friend! There was a certain level of intimacy between them
as they slept together during sleep overs and frequently high fived and
hugged eachother. But this?he didn't know HOW to handle this problem! He
sighed. All he could think of was to hold Deano in his arms. FUCK...tonight
was gonna be a LONG night.

Both boys immediately began to search for the other the moment they arrived
at the dance. A couple of girls stole Cherise away from Deano for a moment
to do their girly stuff, something which Deano was eternally grateful
for. Now he could search for Jonathan without a girl on his arm to complain
that he wasn't giving her enough attention. Finally, Deano spotted
Jonathan...he was walking around with Marlene on his arm. Now only
yesterday, Deano would have been proud of his best mate for getting such a
hot girl. Right now he wanted to tell her to fuck away from
Jonathan. JEEZ...what the hell was going on with him? He WASN'T GAY!!

Deano ran out of the school hall, wanting some fresh air desperately. There
was a small ditch behind the tennis courts, where he and Brandon always
used to hang out. BRANDON...for the first time in nearly two years, Deano
didn't stop himself about thinking of Brandon. After that day which he
cried in Jonathan's arms about Brandon's death, he forced himself not to
think of him ever again. The sheer guilt ate him up whenever he did. That
the last time Deano ever saw or spoke to him, they had ANOTHER fight over
Jonathan. Deano could NEVER forgive himself for that. When he got to the
ditch, he thought he would stay here for just a few minutes. He could
always tell Cherise he didn't feel well or something. He honestly didn't
care what she thought of him anymore. As he rounded the tennis courts, he
saw that there was already another boy sitting on the ground, wearing a
white shirt and black shorts. The boy looked so fucking sad...Deano's first
instincts was to turn around and go back to the hall, but the boy already
spotted him. It would be awkward to walk away now. Deano walked slowly over
to the boy who was busy drawing in the sand with a tree branch.

"You okay, dude?" Deano asked carefully, afraid the boy might attack him
with the branch.

"Not really. Who are you?" the boy asked, not looking up from the ground.

"I'm Deano Richards. I'm kinda supposed to be inside for the dance."

"I'm Red Donovan. Then why aren't you?" Still not looking up.

"Got a bit too crowded for me. You don't go to school here, do you?"

"I used to." Short, blunt answers from a blond dude who refused to look
Deano in the eye, and kept drawing circles in the sand.

"Are you sure you're okay? I mean you're just sitting outside here
scratching in the sand..."

"Since when is that a crime?" Red said, finally looking upwards at
Deano. The latter was momentarily stunned. Blond hair, blue eyes, chiselled
jaw, handsome face...FUCK this dude was HOT! Deano shook his head as to
forget his thoughts. HE WASN'T GAY!! Red stood up and looked Deano in the
eye.

"What's your story, Deano Richards? It's not me who left my date at a dance
to hide outside behind the tennis courts."

"What the fuck, dude? I'm not hiding!"

"Then why aren't you inside there showing off your hot date to everyone?"

Deano knew Red was right. Any other time he would have bragged and done
anything he could to show Cherise off. Except last night things changed...

"Dude...you won't understand."

"Says who? I don't even live around here, I just got into my car and drove
somewhere to get away from the fucked up stuff back home. After tonight
you'll probably never see me again. I can see something's bothering you. Go
on and get ot off your chest. I don't even know you, Deano. Who am I gonna
tell?"

"Okay?what do you wanna know...uhm...I'm kinda in a relationship with one
of the hottest girls I've ever seen, but now I can't stop thinking about my
best friend because last night we fucking kissed eachother! Happy now?"

"I assume your best friend is a guy?"

"Yeah, and that's...wait...how come you're not even a little freaked out?

"Because the same happened to me."

Deano confusedly looked at Red. How the hell can such a straight looking
jock be going around kissing guys?

"Look Red or whatever colour your name is, don't take me for a fucking
wanker..."

"Dude, I'm not fucking around, if you would excuse my language. There was a
time when I was also in love with my straight best friend. I never told him
how I felt. I was genuinely afraid I'd lose him if I did tell him and
believe me, there was a good chance I would lose him. There's nothing worse
than loving someone SO much...and you KNOW that you can NEVER tell them."

"I'm sorry, man. My best friend and I kissed eachother because we wanted to
practise kissing our girlfriends for tonight. But when we did...it was
like...MAGIC. It just felt so fucking right. But now we can hardly look at
eachother."

Red came closer to Deano and placed his hand on his shoulder. He leaned
over to the latter's ear and whispered:

"Don't make the same mistake I did. If you feel anything for this
guy...forget that it's a dude, not a girl. If you like him, you tell
him. Trust me...you don't wanna walk around with a "what could have been"
feeling all the time."

And with that, Red turned around and walk away. Deano stood on the spot for
a while before turning around himself and walking back to the hall. As he
entered, he caught a glimpse of Cherise. She and a couple of girls were
admiring eachother's dresses. Go figure. She didn't even notice he was
gone.

***

After the dinner was served the DJ started playing the romantic songs. Like
one man, the couples all stood up and took their dates to the middle of the
floor. Slowly they were all dancing to the tune of the song, but as the
luck would have it, Jonathan and Marlene were dancing only a few feet away
from Deano and Cherise. They were damn lucky the hall was so dark with only
the glitterball giving off any light, because the two boys couldn't stop
staring at eachother. Jonathan saw the pain and confusion on Deano's
eyes. He felt exactly the same. This time last night, they were watching
Harry Potter at the cinema and fucking around like two normal best
friends. Not even 24 hours later, things had evolved to THIS. Amazing what
a simple kiss could do to a friendship. When the next dance started, Deano
looked over at there where Jonathan was and he saw that Marlene was dancing
with another guy. He waited and humored Cherise until the song was done,
before jogging over to Marlene.

"Hey...where's Jono?" he asked her, a frown on his face.

"Tell that best friend of yours to stuff himself! He thinks that I don't
know he's perving on other girls while we were dancing! He can fuck himself
for all I care!" Marlene spatted out.

"Marlene, just tell me where he is, please!"

"I dunno! Probably outside somewhere, Deano! I really couldn't care any
less!"

Fucking bitch.

Deano slowly walked outside, totally forgetting about Cherise. It was quite
a chilly evening. He didn't know where to look for Jonathan. He could be
any where by now. Getting an idea, Deano reached into his pocket and took
out his mobile. Searching for Jonathan's name, he dialled the number. It
gave about four rings before he answered.

"Hey Deano."

"Jono, where are you, dude?"

"Walking home, where are you? Aren't you like dancing?"

"Dude, come back to the dance, me and you gotta talk."

"You sure, Deano?"

"Yeah, I am. Hurry."

***

"You better have a good excuse making me run all the way back for nothing,
dude!" Jonathan huffed and puffed when he finally reached Deano. "You could
have at least reached me half way!"

"I'm sorry, okay! Not just about making you run all the way back. I'm sorry
about how I freaked out. I just...I was an asshole, okay?"

"Fuck that shit, I was an asshole too, man. I could see that you didn't
wanna talk about what happened. I pushed it and you got angry."

Deano looked straight into Jonathan's eyes. He held his gaze.

"It happened, bro. We kissed. It really fucking happened."

"I know, Deano. I wanna make it go away, but I fucking can't!"

Jonathan walked over so that he was right next to his best friend.

"What are we gonna do, Deano? We can't ignore this. We felt it. I certainly
did. I KNOW you did aswell."

"That's what scares me, dude. I was turned on by that kiss."

Jonathan and Deano were quiet for a bit, just staring out before them and
listening to the music that was coming from the tent. Suddenly Deano's
mobile rang. It was Cherise.

"Hey...listen I wasn't feeling well so I asked my dad to fetch me. I'm
sorry...I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Jeez, stop shouting!" he yelled before
ending the call and switching his phone off.

"Dude...you lied to Cherise. You fancied her like mad just yesterday..."
Jonathan said quietly.

"Yeah well, I can't think of her when I can't stop thinking about...someone
else."

Silence again. Finally Jonathan had the guts to reach out with his hand and
lightly touch Deano's. This time, unlike the previous evening, Deano didn't
swipe his hand back. He allowed Jonathan to take hold off his hand and
together the two friends felt the emotion that came with this simple
gesture.

"Jono...for the love of all that's crap, we cannot be gay..." Deano said, a
tear rolling down his cheek, refusing to believe it.

"Then why can't I get you out of my mind?" Jonathan said, turning about and
facing Deano directly.

"Bro...I can't either...oh FUCK this isn't happening!!" Deano whispered
before his sobs overtook him. Jonathan immediately grabbed his best friend
and held him close. Both boys felt the love that the other was trying to
transfer over. It was real. Deano held Jonathan closer, savouring the smell
of him. Jonathan in turn held Deano's head to his chest, his eyes were
closed.

They had no idea they were being watched.



END OF THE SECOND CHAPTER!!! Please mail me if you enjoyed the story!!
Send me an e-mail at whiteryan65@gmail.com I always make sure that I reply
to each and every one I get!

Ryan White