Date: Sun, 13 Nov 2011 18:30:28 -0800
From: Jeffrey Venzuela <jtvenz72@gmail.com>
Subject: I Shall Believe - Chapter 16 (Revised)

___________________________________________________________________________

Warning:  If you don't tolerate or approve of the gay lifestyle please
leave now.

This is pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or
deceased. Any similarities is just a coincidence.
___________________________________________________________________________

As he drove through the early morning hours to the next town where
Jesse had told him he and Ivan were stranded, Michael had plenty of time
to think. When he had gotten the call from Ivan's cell phone in the middle
of the night he had been surprised but pleased, thinking it was like old
times. But the second he had heard Jesse's voice he became worried.
Then after Jesse had told him about what had happened, he had become
furious. He had almost told Jesse to forget it, but it was Ivan with him so
he couldn't abandon him. But he couldn't understand why Ivan would go
to a party like that, at least not without taking him and Alex. In the old days
he would have insisted that his two best friends come along, but this time
he not only went to a party without them, but got high and wasted to boot.
Michael knew there was only one person to blame for Ivan's erratic
behavior -- Jesse.

Michael arrived at the address Jesse had given him. Looking up at the
front steps, he saw how Ivan was resting his head on Jesse's shoulder.
He bolted out of the car but restrained himself from yelling at Jesse.

"Dude, I so owe you one." Jesse said when he recognized Michael walking
towards them.

Michael didn't even look at Jesse when he said, "This is for Ivan. I wouldn't
even have thought of coming here if it weren't for him." He kneeled at Ivan's
side and shook him awake.

"Hey, buddy." Michael said softly.

Ivan groaned sleepily, still not opening his eyes. Jesse snickered at Ivan's
reaction.

Michael gave him a dirty look and said sarcastically, "I'm glad you find this
funny."

Jesse raised his hands in surrender. He didn't want to fight with Michael,
at least not right now. After all, he was the one who would be giving them
a ride home.

Michael tried to speak again to Ivan. "Hey, I'm going to carry you on my back.
I need you to try hanging on to me, okay?"

Ivan nodded his head but still had his eyes closed. It wasn't clear to either
Michael or Jesse if Ivan was still asleep or not.

Michael crouched in front of Ivan with his back to him. He draped Ivan's
arms over his shoulders and picked him onto his back. Jesse watched as
Ivan just automatically wrapped his arms around Michael's neck and used
his upper back for a pillow. Michael carried Ivan easily towards the car where
Jesse opened the door to the backseat. He gently dropped Ivan on the seat
and laid him down.

"Whose idea was it to go to that party anyway?" Michael asked Jesse who
was sitting beside him.

Jesse didn't know why but he felt it best to cover for Ivan. "Mine,"
He said.

Michael scoffed and said, "Of course it was. Why did I even ask?"

Jesse bit his tongue, reminded himself repeatedly that he needed
the ride. Somewhere along the way, he drifted off to sleep.

Michael stopped the car when they reached the town square where most
of the town's festivities were held. He shook Jesse awake and said, "This
is you."

Jesse looked around, his eyes still blurry from sleep. "But this isn't where—"

Michael cut him off when he firmly said, "You're welcome."

Jesse rolled his eyes. "Yeah, thanks." He said in disdain.

He was already a few steps from the car when he heard Michael say,
"And stay away from Ivan."

He turned back towards the car. "What did you say?" He asked, not believing
the words he had heard.

"I said stay away from Ivan." Michael repeated slowly with a serious look
on his face.

Jesse chuckled and said, "Yeah, right. Like I take orders from you now."

Michael made sure to make it threatening when he said, "I mean it."

"I'll leave it to Ivan to make that decision," Jesse said with an equally serious
face. He turned around and started walking away. He shook his head
with a slight smile on his face. He couldn't believe he had just been threatened
like that.


Ivan couldn't get up from the bed. He felt like there was a stack of five
champion sumo wrestlers on top of him, eating sushi. Why did he have to
think about sushi. Just the thought of raw fish made him sick to his stomach.
His eyes flew open and he lurched out. The room suddenly started spinning
which made it hard to know exactly where he was. But finally he recognized
the band posters on the wall and the stereo at the other side of the room.
He realized he was at Michael's. Ivan's stomach did a violent somersault
and he made his way unsteadily to the bathroom adjoining Michael's room.

Upon opening the door, he saw Michael, naked and wet, drying off his hair.
Ivan didn't have time to admire his body or even say a word, because he
suddenly felt all of his stomach contents rise up. He rushed to the bowl and
started throwing up.

Once he was done, he felt the hand that was rubbing his back. He
looked behind him and saw Michael with the towel just hanging around
his neck, leaving all his glory exposed. But his stomach leapt again and he
quickly turned back to the bowl and started another round of retching.

"I'm that repulsive when naked, huh." Michael joked.

Ivan didn't answer, completely distracted by the unpleasant battle going
On in his stomach. When it finally seemed like his body was done rejecting
everything from his gut, he walked unsteadily to the nearby sink and
leaned into it. He took a deep breath, turned on the faucet and rinsed
the horrible taste from his mouth. He then washed his face and decided to
look at his reflection to see how horrible he must look. Michael was right
there behind him staring at the same reflection that looked like hell.

 "Are you okay, Ivan?" Michael said moving a little closer to Ivan.

Not wanting to be quite so close to Michael, he turned around to face
him. Immediately he recognized the danger of doing that as he felt
his hands brush up against Michael's bare thighs.

Ivan raised his hands in the air and said, "I'm sorry but can you cover yourself
with that towel or something?"

It just came to Michael then that he was still naked. "Oh, yeah. Sorry." He
said turning around as he felt his cheeks burn.

Ivan slowly walked to Michael's bed and crawled in under the sheet. After
a lot of years, he had seen Michael's bare body again. Unfortunately, he didn't
have the stomach for it, he thought as he drifted back to sleep.

Michael came out of the bathroom now covered with a towel and saw his
best friend out cold again on his bed. He went to his dresser and got
into some clothes. He had planned to cook breakfast for Ivan right away but
considering the obvious turmoil Ivan's stomach was probably still in, he
thought he'd give him some more time to sleep it off. He decided to play
some soft music on the stereo making sure the volume was low so as not
to disturb Ivan. He lay on his bed beside his best friend and thought of
random things including his father, school, Alex and Ivan. Before he knew it,
he was also asleep.

Ivan regained consciousness and the first thing he felt was a pulsing
beneath his hand and a familiar scent that he had really missed. It was the
scent he smelled of Michael every time he had a dream about him. The scent
told him he was in one of those dreams again. But when he opened his eyes
and found himself lying on a muscular chest, he looked up and saw Michael,
fast asleep. The pulsing beneath his hand was Michael's heart. Ivan smiled
and thought how his dreams just kept getting better each time. He sighed
contentedly and pushed himself closer to Michael's body, as if it was still
possible. Michael who seemed to still be asleep moved his arm and held
Ivan against him, securing him as close as possible. Ivan didn't want to ever
wake up again.

Ivan was still relishing his dream, being alone together with Michael when
he started hearing Michael's  name being called. Someone must be calling
him from reality, Ivan thought. He heard the voice getting louder and louder and all
he thought was that he didn't want to wake up from this dream. He closed his
eyes tightly and held himself even closer against Michael. Suddenly he heard
the door to Michael's room opening and someone said, "Hey, Michael! Want
to go out for a quick run?"

Ivan opened his eyes and realized he was still in that strange and wonderful
dream. He and Michael were still in the same position. Confused, he
looked to the door, still not releasing himself from Michael's arm, and
saw Jake standing in the room with a surprised look on his face.

"Jake? What are you doing in my dream?" Ivan asked, thinking this was the first
time that Jake had ever appeared in his dreams.

 "What are you talking about?" Jake asked back, also confused.

Ivan, totally bewildered with the situation, looked back to Michael and saw
him opening his eyes.

Once Michael opened his eyes, the first person he saw was Ivan. He
was about to smile and ask him if he wanted some breakfast when
he realized his arm had locked Ivan against his body.

"Dude." Michael heard Jake say. Surprised by the way holding Ivan while
Jake was suddenly standing in, he immediately jumped up from the bed.
Ivan rolled himself to the far side of the bed at the same time.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" Michael asked awkwardly from beside
the bed.

Ivan asked himself what was going on. He still thought he was dreaming
but it was beginning to become uncomfortably real.

Jake tried not to grin and suppressed himself by clearing his throat. "I was
just on my way for a quick run. I just thought I'd drop by here to ask
if you want to join me but clearly, you have something else going on so..."
Jake drifted off as he looked at Ivan and chuckled nervously.

Michael looked at Ivan and his bed and thought how the two of them
must have had looked like earlier. "Oh. That." Michael chuckled with
a slight hint of nervousness in his voice. "Actually, I picked Ivan up from a
party last night and he just crashed here and I just kinda drifted off to sleep
beside him earlier." Michael tried to explain.

Jake didn't know how to respond so he just went with, "Oh."

When Michael didn't seem to have anything else to say, Jake said,
"I'll just leave you two then." With that, he left the room.

Michael looked at Ivan who was now sitting on the bed and told him
he would go ahead downstairs to start cooking breakfast for the two of them.

Ivan just nodded, still confused. It hadn't been a dream after all. He just
had just been cuddled up to a sleeping Michael and Jake had seen them
together in that very position. Ivan let out a deep sigh and plopped himself
back on the bed.

A while later when the smell of Michael's cooking had reached the room,
Ivan decided it was time to go and face Michael to confront the embarrassing
moments that had taken place that morning. As he went down the stairs,
he heard Oasis playing on the stereo.

Michael heard Ivan step into the kitchen. "Good morning!" He greeted.

Ivan tried to study Michael but he couldn't detect anything different
despite what happened back upstairs. "Good morning." Ivan said
softly but with a smile on his face.

"Sit down." Michael said and gestured to the table the in the room.  As
Ivan sat down, Michael brought plates full of eggs, sausages and pancakes.
He noticed the strange look on Ivan's face when he saw the food.

"Grease helps with the hangover." Michael stated.

Ivan shook his head with a look of wonder on his face. "I know but since
when did you start cooking?" He asked.

Michael smiled with pride. "I've been doing the cooking for myself since
Sophia and Mark went back to the city. They took Junior with them by
the way."

"Wow. That explains why the house is unusually quiet." Ivan remarked.
He suddenly remembered how it was at Michael's a few years back. The
house was always alive, especially with loud Sophia and playful Junior.
Even though there had been only four of them in the family, it had always
seemed like it was a full house.

"Yeah but I have company more often than not. Jake mostly hangs out
here and sometimes even eat his meals here. That's why I cooked a lot
this morning. He'll probably drop by here before going back home. I think
he even stays here more often than his own place." Michael explained
and chuckled at the last sentence.

Ivan wasn't that surprised. The two did seem pretty close. "I know what
you're talking about. I have the same case with Jesse." Ivan said.

Ivan then remembered Jesse. He really didn't know what had happened
to him."Where did Jesse go anyway? I was pretty out of it last night."

Michael scowled and said, "I dropped him off at the square on the way here.
I don't think it's best for you to hang out with him anymore Ivan." He said
sincerely.

Ivan was surprised to hear that from Michael. "Why not?" He asked.

Michael didn't want to point it all out to Ivan but he knew he had to. "He's
bad for you. Just look at what happened last night. He took you to that
party and got you all wasted but he couldn't even take you home himself.
And don't even get me started about what I've been hearing about him."
He said.

Ivan shook his head, almost disappointed with Michael and said, "What are
you talking about? Jesse has been nothing but nice to me. All that other
stuff you're hearing, it's just him. It's just Jesse being himself."

Michael tried to reason with him. "But Ivan, you should have seen yourself
last night. You were a mess, especially this morning!"

"Last night was my idea, okay. I told him to take me to that party. Why
don't you cut Jesse some slack? He looked out for me all night." Ivan was
starting to get mad. Michael was just being so judgmental towards Jesse and
he couldn't understand why.

 Michael's face sobered. "I'm sorry. I just... I just don't trust him with you."

Ivan took a deep breath to calm himself. "Michael, I can take care of myself.
Why don't you go and take care of Alex instead?" Right after the words came
out, Ivan immediately regretted them.

Michael detected the bitterness in Ivan's voice and wondered what was going
on with him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." Ivan uttered, looking down at the table.

Michael scoffed. "You can't just put something like that out in the open and
then take it back."

Ivan nodded and said "You're right. I'm sorry. That was a mistake." He stood
up from his chair and added, "This was a mistake."

Michael saw something in Ivan that he couldn't understand. "No, Ivan.
I'm sorry. I just—"

Ivan gestured to the door. "I'm gonna go. Thank you for taking care of me
though. It was really nice of you." He said and left.

"Ivan!" He tried calling for him but Ivan seemed to refuse to hear him.
Michael didn't understand what had just happened.


Jesse had just gotten back from retrieving his car from where it had spent
the night when he saw Ivan walking alone in the middle of the town. He
drove slowly in Ivan's direction until he was beside him. He rolled down
the window and said, "So you've been released from the enemy's fortress,
huh?"

Ivan looked at the moving car beside him and saw it was Jesse. "Hey."
He greeted quietly. "I kinda walked out actually." He confessed.

Jesse raised an eyebrow, stepped on the brakes and said, "Now that
is something I want to hear. Get in the car. I'll take you home."

Ivan made his way around the car and sank into the passenger's seat.
"Now tell me what happened," said Jesse.

When Ivan was done with his story, the two were already in Ivan's kitchen
and had just finished breakfast cooked by Ivan.

Jesse was silent for a while, digesting the story. Ivan was surprised when
he suddenly asked, "So you're really in love with him?"

 "What? I didn't say that." Ivan blurted out.

Jesse shook his head and said, "No, but you didn't have to."

Ivan took the opportunity to avoid the conversation by picking up the
plates and putting them in the dishwasher. However, Jesse was persistent
and followed him to the sink as he washed his hands. "You're in love
with him." Jesse stated.

"I am not!" Ivan said firmly.

"Well, it just sounded like you are when you told me that story and
even now when you're trying to deny it." Jesse tried to argue.

Ivan looked Jesse straight in the eye and told him, "I don't have
feelings for him."

Jesse curved his lips downward. "Whatever you say," he said as he
went to the living room to watch the DVDs that he had brought.
 A few minutes into the show, he felt the other side of the couch
sink.

"What are we watching?" Ivan asked Jesse after he sat down on the
couch, seeing all the girls on the screen.

"Top Model." Jesse replied with his eyes glued to the set.

Ivan stifled a laugh before he asked, "And you're watching this because?"

Jesse looked at Ivan, surprised by his question. "Dude, because it's awesome."

Ivan chuckled at the disbelief on Jesse's face. "Today you're watching
Top Model and tomorrow, going to the Queens' Convention with Randy.
One faggity act a day keeps the hot guys away." Ivan quipped.

Jesse chuckled along with Ivan. "Where do you come up with this stuff?"
He asked.

When they heard the doorbell ring, Jesse volunteered to go to the door
insisting that Ivan stay to appreciate `one of the wonders of the gay world'.

Jesse opened the door with a smile on his face. Once he saw it was Michael,
he scowled and called for Ivan. "The boy you don't love is here!" Jesse
yelled.

Michael looked at Jesse with a confused look on his face and Ivan walked
towards the door with the same expression. "What are you talking about?"
Ivan asked Jesse.

When Ivan saw Michael on the doorstep, he back slapped Jesse's shoulder
as he gave him a look.

"Ouch!" Jesse complained as he went back to the living room.

Ivan noticed Michael looking confused so he tried to explain it in the
simplest way possible. "You know, Jesse," He said. Michael just nodded.
There was an awkward silence when the two didn't speak. Michael was
avoiding Ivan's gaze as he stared at him.

"What are you doing here, Michael?" Ivan asked, with a hint of impatience.

Michael looked at Ivan and said, "I came here to apologize for earlier."
When Ivan didn't say anything, Michael decided to continue. "I..." Michael
sighed. "I was listening to Oasis this morning and a song reminded me
of you." Ivan noticed the CD in Michael's hand.

"You and I, we've always been so close— always depending on each other.
You may not have noticed it but I'm the one that depends on you more than
you do on me. And I guess I'm just trying to protect you."

Ivan thought he already made the point about this earlier. "I can take care
of myself." He said.

"I know that now." Michael said softly. "And that's what worries me. If
you don't need me to look after you anymore, then what am I? How
can I return the things you always do for me?"

Ivan was about to say that he didn't have to return anything because
he had not done anything but Michael stopped him. "You may not
need me, Ivan but..." He paused. "I need you. You're the one I always
depend on. You're my wonderwall."

 "Look I'm not good with words and I'm not sure if you even understand
me so..." Michael handed Ivan the Oasis album. "Track three," Michael
said and started walking away.

Ivan watched Michael and knew that he couldn't just leave it like that.
"Michael!" He called for him as he jogged towards him. "You're wrong."
Ivan said.

Michael had a questioning look on his face.

Ivan looked at Michael's eyes and said, "I need you too. And now, I need
you to accept that Jesse and I have gotten really close. I just can't throw
away a friend, especially a good one."

Michael was silent at first, taking in what Ivan had said then he smiled gently
and nodded. "Okay. Do you mind calling him for me? There's something
I've got to say to him."

 A big smile crossed Ivan's face. He nodded and ran back to the house.
A few minutes later, Jesse was outside walking towards Michael.

"Dude, you wanted to talk?" Jesse said.

Michael walked to meet him and said, "I just want to apologize. Ivan told
me that going to the party was his idea and that you looked out for him.
It turns out I was wrong about you. I'm sorry."

"Well." Jesse smirked, trying to drag out the moment. Michael looked
at him expectantly. He rolled his eyes and said, "Okay! You're forgiven."
The two boys shook hands and Jesse said lightly, "I still think you're an
asshole though."

Michael shook his head with a smile and said, "And you're still a jerk. "

Meanwhile, through the window, Ivan saw Michael and Jesse shake hands.
The two exchanged words and both laughed. Ivan smiled at the sight. Then
as his eyes lingered around the scene unfolding in front of him, he saw a
familiar jeep slowly passing by and driving the jeep was Andy Pearson.
Ivan felt a sense of dread wash over him as his hands started to feel cold
and his whole body went numb. He was back. Andy Pearson couldn't be
back.


______________________________________________________________________________

What do you think about the lastest chapter? For those who can't recall who
Andy Pearson is, he was the boy that was bullying Ivan the year before the
started. Ring a bell yet? He was mentioned in Chapters 6 and 7.

Thanks again to Mr. Dennis S for editting my work and for those who aren't
still members of the facebook readers' page, We have lots of room for you
guys. If you want to join, here's the link:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/ISBreaders/

Thanks! Keep on reading :)