Date: Wed, 23 Nov 2011 03:30:06 -0800
From: Jeffrey Venzuela <jtvenz72@gmail.com>
Subject: I Shall Believe - Chapter 17

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Warning:  If you don't tolerate or approve of the gay lifestyle please
leave now.

This is pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or
deceased. Any similarities is just a coincidence.
___________________________________________________________________________
	It was an inappropriately sunny Monday morning for Ivan.
Everything and everyone had an extra glow in them but today wasn't
supposed to be wonderful. Instead it should be as dark as the circles
around Ivan's sleep deprived  eyes and thunder should be clapping
on the horizon heralding the approach of a tumultuous storm, because
Ivan was filled with a terrible sense of dread. Andy Pearson, his overbearing
bullying tormentor from last year, was back in town and Ivan could only
imagine what might happen.

On top of that, Jesse had not come by that morning for his usual breakfast
and ride to school. After he had left Ivan last night, Jesse had gone to
another one of his parties. But considering what had happened on Saturday,
he hadn't thought Ivan would be interested. Thank goodness for that, Ivan
thought. But he still worried about why Jesse hadn't shown up. He hoped
Jesse was just sleeping it off, and wished that he had been able to get a
decent night's rest.

"Homecoming," The word was written in capital letters on a tarpaulin hanging
above the school gates. Ivan had already parked his car but he didn't
want to get out just yet. He needed to think about how he was going to get
through the day. It was Homecoming Week and that's probably why Andy
was back. He jumped a little in surprise when he heard the knocking his car
window. He looked and saw Michael smiling at him.

"What are you doing in there, hiding?" Michael asked as Ivan rolled down
the window. When he saw Ivan's pale face and the dark circles around his
eyes, he asked, "God, are you okay? You look like you're still hungover.
You seem worse than yesterday actually." He looked genuinely concerned.

Ivan gave Michael a dirty look and said, "Thanks." He opened the door
as Michael stepped out of the way. Ivan started for the main building.

Michael, surprised by Ivan's sour mood, followed him. "Wait, Ivan. I'm
sorry. I thought we were back on good terms. I even apologized to Jesse,
remember?"

Ivan sighed and stopped, realizing that Michael might misunderstand his
behavior or worse, read into it and figure what was really happening. "No,
Michael. It's not that. I... I just didn't get much sleep last night."

Michael looked at him concerned and tentatively said, "Okay."

Ivan gave him a reassuring smile. "I'll be fine. I'm going to sleep on it in
home room or something. Bye." He waved goodbye to Michael and went
on his way to his home room.

Ivan didn't get a chance to sleep, there was too much going on. It was
the homecoming week and the teachers were disseminating the plans
for the whole week for homecoming.

Monday through Wednesday was basically the preparation for the big game
on Friday and the Homecoming Dance on Saturday. There was also going
to be a bonfire at the lake after the pep rally on Thursday afternoon. The
teacher gave the volunteers and some chosen students their assigned
tasks. Ivan was surprised to hear his and Jesse's name on the Decoration
Committee for the Homecoming Dance.

Ivan raised his hand and the teacher nodded at him. Ivan spoke up,
"I'm sorry but I don't recall signing my name up on the list of volunteers."

The teacher looked at the list and said, "No, Mr. Brody. You were one
of the lucky few to be chosen by the Homecoming Dance Committee
Head."

"And who did you say this person is again?" Ivan asked.

"Mr. Karch. Randy Karch." The teacher answered. When Ivan didn't
respond, the teacher proceeded to describe the other committees
and the students involved. He finished by announcing that the candidates
for the Homecoming Royal Court would be announced at lunch.

That lunch, Ivan looked for Randy and found him sitting at a table along
with other members of The Alliance. They were having a conversation
but Ivan wasn't in the mood to be polite. He had had only a few hours of
sleep and the sun was just shining too bright for him.

"What is my name doing on the Decorations Committee?" Ivan demanded,
interrupting the conversation in the table.

Randy flashed him his political smile. "Well hello there, Ivan. You are just
In time for..." Randy then just noticed the way Ivan looked. "Jesus, honey.
Are you okay?" He asked, concerned.

Ivan didn't answer him and instead asked again, "Decorations Committee,
really?"

Ivan didn't notice Max was at the table until he spoke up. "You need
to relax, man. It will be fun. I'm on the committee too. Just like the
rest of us." Max gestured around the table.

Randy took control of the conversation and tried to explain it to Ivan.
"I volunteered the Alliance to help. We need the leverage if we want
to get on the good side of the faculty." Randy said.

"Okay." Ivan said and took a deep breath to regain his composure.
"Have you guys seen Jesse?" He asked.

"No. I haven't seen him all morning." Max said while the others shook
their heads.

Ivan just nodded and walked away. He grabbed some lunch and went
to their usual spot under the tree. On the way, he passed by Michael and
Alex's table. The two smiled at him and offered him to sit down with them
but he politely declined.

"Is he okay?" Alex asked Michael once Ivan was out of earshot.

Michael gazed towards Ivan. "He said he barely slept last night."

Alex became thoughtful. Somehow, the way Ivan acted towards them
reminded her of when everything between them wasn't well. "He's not
avoiding us again, is he?" She asked Michael.

Michael shook his head. "No, I don't think so. Maybe there's just something
bothering him."

Alex nodded and said, "I'll talk to him later."


Ivan had settled himself beneath the shade of the tree. He was finishing
his lunch when Jesse arrived wearing sunglasses. Jesse lazily lay down on
the grass and kept his sunglasses on.

Jesse sighed and uttered, "I'm so exhausted."

Ivan lay beside him and said, "Me too."

Jesse propped himself up on his elbows to look at Ivan. He removed his
sunglasses revealing bloodshot eyes. "I'm hungover. What's your excuse for
looking like shit?"

Ivan groaned and said, "Lack of sleep."

The two remained sprawled on the grass side by side silently. Both obviously
had the same thing on their minds—sleep. However, it was cut short when the
intercom came alive.

"Good morning students." The voice said. It was Principal Allen.

"You just ruined it." Jesse answered as if she was actually there with them.

"Finally, the moment you've all been waiting for. Here are the candidates
for our Homecoming Royal Court. First are the nominees for Homecoming
Princess..." The principal started enumerating names and among them was
Alexandra Erb.

"Alex is nominated. Surprise, surprise." Jesse commented sarcastically.
"I can't believe they're still doing this crap." He said, talking about the
homecoming.

"It's tradition." Ivan reasoned without looking at Jesse.

Jesse scoffed and said, "A tradition? It's nothing more than just a fucking
popularity contest to boost the winners' already huge ego."

"And the nominees for Homecoming Prince are Rick Summers..."

All the way from their spot, the two heard Rick exclaiming from the quad.
They both rolled their eyes.

"Michael Gilner," the intercom said.

"Well, well. The boy you're not in love with." Jesse mocked Ivan.
Ivan responded with an obvious fake laugh.

"And the last two nominees for Homecoming Prince are Jake Ryan  and
Jesse Hawke." Ivan and Jesse heard from the intercom.

Jesse sat up in surprise and practically shouted, "What?!"

Ivan chuckled. "There must be something wrong with that intercom."

Jesse was still trying to digest the shocking news as the principal announced
the nominees for Homecoming King and Queen. All of them were seniors
and none of them was personally close to Ivan.

"I can't believe I'm nominated." Jesse said not knowing how to feel.

Ivan smirked and said, "Well, you did say that this was all about boosting
huge egos. That explains a lot about you being nominated."

Jesse scoffed. "Whatever." He said.

When the two made their way back to their classes, Jesse received a lot of
"Congratulations," and "You got my vote," from other students. Jesse was
really against the whole idea of it but he couldn't help but feel good.
When Max saw him in the hallway, the boy came to him with a huge grin
and told him congratulations. Jesse realized that his nomination would
surely improve his chances with Max. He decided to stay `straight' until
the Homecoming Dance and then come out to Max. He still needed the
remaining time to impress him and get closer to him.


When Ivan arrived in class, he saw Alex in the back of the room, gesturing
for him to sit on the empty chair beside her. Since sitting in the back would
be more convenient for him to sleep, Ivan sat beside her.

"Hey. Congrats." Ivan said sincerely.

"Thanks." Alex replied with a smile. "I heard Jesse's nominated too."

Ivan chuckled, remembering Jesse's reaction. "Yeah. He was rather
surprised."

That seemed to surprise Alex. "Really? I mean despite the attitude, he's
more than decent in the looks department." She said. "So what's up
with you lately?" She changed the subject, wanting to get to the real
objective of the conversation.

Ivan looked at her, trying to read where the conversation was going.
"Nothing much, really."  He answered.

"Michael said you had a problem sleeping last night?" She asked.

Leave it to Alex to jump right to the point, Ivan thought. "Yeah. But I'll
be fine. I just need to catch up on some sleep." He said.

Alex was convinced enough to drop the subject. "Okay." She said.
She then remembered what she wanted to talk to Ivan about. "Oh
and speaking of Homecoming Week, the squad and the football team
are in charge of the bonfire on Thursday. Want to come and lend us
a hand?"

"I can't. I was already assigned to the Decorations Committee for the
dance." Ivan said apologetically. Ivan was actually happy to be separated
from Michael and Alex. Besides the fact that he couldn't stand seeing
the two of them together, Andy Pearson was back. If both of them were
telling the truth that Andy wanted him separated from his best friends,
especially Michael, who knows what he'd do if he were to see the three
of them together.

Alex nodded and said she understood but insisted that she'd at least try
to talk to Randy to move Ivan to her committee.


When the day was finally over, Ivan was walking out of his classroom
and Randy approached him. He was about to tell Randy that he'd prefer
to stay with his committee but Randy was the first to speak. He told him
that Alex had already talked to him and he had switched his name over to
her committee. Randy excused himself and said he still had a lot of things
he needed to take care of.

Ivan went to his locker and sighed as he opened it to get some books that
He needed for his homework. He wondered how he could stay away from
Michael and Alex if he'd be working with them. He knew there was only
one other person he could count on in a time like this—Jesse. But Ivan
didn't want to involve him with this situation with Andy. What if he'd try
to out Jesse too? Granted that Jesse wasn't really a closeted person but
he wasn't exactly out either. Things could easily turn worse and Andy could
hurt Jesse too.


Michael was on his way out of school when he saw Ivan alone in the
hallway. He was walking towards him when Ivan looked at him. He smiled
at him but when he saw the troubled look on Ivan's face he was
immediately concerned.

"Nice catching up, coach." Michael heard a familiar voice from behind him.
He saw Ivan tense momentarily as he took a step back and then abruptly
walked away.

"Gilner!" Michael heard from behind him. He turned around and saw Andy
Pearson walking towards him. He still looked the same as he did before he
graduated— a tank with a mean streak. "How's it going, man?" Andy asked
him.

"What are you doing here?" Michael asked with his teeth clenched.

"It's homecoming." Andy said then Michael saw a flash of realization spread
across his face. "Oh. I get it. I get it. Don't tell me you're still pissed about
me breaking you up with your fag boyfriend."

Michael wanted to punch him right there, but instead he tried to be
civilized, "He's not—"

"Your boyfriend, I know. I was just messing with you Gilner." He leaned
conspiratorially to Michael's ear. "So rumor has it that you've been banging
the head cheerleader. Nice, man." Michael pulled back from Andy and got
pissed off by his dopey smirk.

"High five!" Andy said as he raised his hand open. Michael couldn't believe
the guy thought he could just bounce back into town and pretend that every
evil deed he'd done was all forgiven. Michael shook his head and punched
Andy squarely on the jaw, making him fall back on his behind.

Michael walked towards him and said before leaving, "I should have done
that last year."


Ivan reluctantly arrived at the classroom where Alex and her committee
were having the meeting for the bonfire. He nodded at Alex as he entered
while she acknowledged him with a smile. The room was full of cheerleaders
and jocks.

"Fag." Rick, who was sitting directly in front of Alex, spoke.

Alex kicked him on the shin and said, "Shut up, Rick." Some of the girls nearby
stifled a laugh.

Ivan grinned at her and looked around the room for a seat. He spotted a
sleeping Jesse at the back of the room. He went to the open chair beside
him and nudged him awake.

"Dude, I was sleeping." Jesse said as he opened his eyes. After seeing it was
Ivan, he grinned. "You're on this committee too?"

Ivan rolled his eyes. "Duh." He said and Jesse chuckled.

Alex gathered everyone's attention and went on with the plans for the
bonfire. She started by describing the usual preparations and assignments
that were expected for the event. She then delegated tasks by grouping
the people and giving them certain things to do.

Michael arrived in the meeting and apologized to Alex for being late.
Alex assured him with a nod. He immediately looked for Ivan knowing
that he'd be in the room. Once he saw him sitting across Jesse, he
immediately went over to his side.

"Ivan." He whispered in his ear. Jesse looked at the two with curiosity
but then looked away. "You saw him, didn't you?"

Ivan looked at Jesse to see if he was listening. He looked like he was only
half there. "So?" Ivan whispered back, keeping his eyes on Jesse. He
really didn't want him to be involved in this.

Michael was surprised by Ivan's reaction. "So? I need to make sure you're
going to be okay. The three of us –Alex, me and you— we should stick
together. He already threatened us last year about hurting you. We have
to be here to make sure you're safe."

Finally, Ivan turned to Michael and said in a hushed tone, "Michael, can't
you see it? He threatened to hurt me last year if I kept hanging out with
you guys. All you and Alex need to do is stay away from me as much as
possible until he's outta here."

"That won't work." Michael said.

"It will." Ivan said firmly.

Finally Jesse couldn't help but be curious about the conversation of the two
across from him. "What are you guys talking about?" He whispered as he
leaned in closer to Ivan.

 "Nothing." Ivan barked. But when he realized how short he sounded, he
smiled at Jesse reassuringly and said, "We're just working on his tutoring
schedule."

Jesse knew Ivan was lying but he decided to let the matter for the moment.

Ivan turned to Michael again to say, "And do not drag Jesse into this."

Alex was still announcing the task assignments to each group. "And the
last group would be composed of me, Michael, Jesse and Ivan. We'll be
in charge of the music and the DJ."

"Fine by me." Jesse said.

Upon hearing Alex, Ivan raised his hand.

"Yes, Ivan?" Alex asked him.

"Can I be moved to another group, please?" Alex, Michael and Jesse looked
at him strangely.

"What?" Michael and Jesse asked simultaneously.

"Ivan, what the hell are you doing?" Michael whispered from beside him.

"I'm doing what's best for all of us." Ivan whispered back.

Jesse rolled his eyes. "Could you please just stop that whispering?" He said,
annoyed by the two.

Alex chuckled at first and Ivan smiled at her meekly. Realizing that he
was serious, she glanced at the list of groups she had made on the paper
she was holding. "I'm sorry Ivan but all groups are already full."

"He could come with me." Jake suggested. Ivan hadn't even noticed him
in the room until he spoke up.

Alex looked at him. "Jake, you're job is to just go and talk to your father and let
him sign the permit. It can't be that hard."

Jake shrugged and said, "I can always use the company." He smiled at Ivan
but Ivan chose to ignore it.

Alex didn't understand what was going on with Ivan but with the begging
look on Ivan's face, she had no other choice. She sighed and said, "Fine.
Ivan will go with Jake to the mayor's office. Are we all happy now?"

"His dad is the mayor?" Jesse asked Ivan. Ivan nodded yes.

"No. What's a bonfire without drinks?" Rick said. The other guys along with
some of the girls from squad cheered.

Alex scoffed and said no before closed the meeting which caused some
disapproval from some, especially Rick. Ivan left with Jesse and Jake. Michael,
however, remained in the room. Alex smiled at him and went to him for a
kiss but Michael pulled away.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"Andy's in town." Michael replied.

Alex sat down on one of the chairs. "Oh my god." She said, getting worried.
"No wonder Ivan was avoiding us."

Michael sat on a chair beside her. "Yeah. He walked away from me a while ago
and it turned out Andy was just a couple of steps behind me. You should
have seen the look on his face. He was so scared."

"I bet he is." Alex said, deep in thought.

Both grew silent as they pondered the situation. "It's probably for the best
if we just avoid him until Andy leaves town."

"What? Are you crazy? We can't leave Ivan all alone." Michael said.

"Michael, reality check. Last year, Andy only threatened to hurt Ivan if you
kept on hanging out with him." Alex reasoned. "And besides, Ivan has Jesse."

 "No. He doesn't." Michael said. Alex looked at him, confused. "He didn't
want Jesse involved with this situation." He explained.

"He's right." Alex said.

"He's not, Alex." Michael said, frustrated. She was surprised by the tone
in his voice. "He needs as many friends he can get right now."

Alex reached out and touched his arm. "Michael, Homecoming only
lasts a week. Next Monday, Andy wouldn't be even here. For now,
we have to stay away from Ivan to keep him safe. Just like last year."

"Look, that's exactly my point. We already tried that approach last year and
look how miserable Ivan ended up. And remember what he told us a few
weeks ago? He told us that he didn't need protection. He needed us—his
best friends."

Alex just stared at Michael. She herself didn't know what to do.


Jake told Ivan to meet him at the town square in thirty minutes. In order
to avoid the awkwardness between him and Jake, Ivan invited Jesse to come
along with them. Jesse however, refused and told him that he had to meet a
guy he met at last night's party. Jesse made some remark about having a
second round with the bear. He winked at Ivan and left. Ivan really didn't
want to deal with Jake, not now and not ever.

When he arrived at the square, he saw Jake talking to a really good looking
guy. The guy was six feet tall, had cropped hair and a striking muscular
physique. Ivan didn't know how but something within him told him that the
guy Jake was talking to was gay. That must be how gaydar works, Ivan
thought.

Jake saw Ivan and ended his conversation with the guy. They bumped fists
and Jake told him that he'd see him later that night.

"Who's he?" Ivan asked as Jake came to him.

"None of your business." Jake replied rudely.

Ivan bit his tongue to keep himself from saying anything else. The two of
them walked towards City Hall. On their way, a cute girl greeted Jake with
her eyebrows wiggling. After a few steps, another girl came by and greeted
him.

"Hey Jake." The girl said, stopping in front of him.

"Hey..." Jake smiled at her, trying to cover up the fact that he couldn't
remember her name. Ivan, however, could see right through him.

"We better go. We're gonna be late." Jake excused the two of them and
walked past the girl.

After they passed a flower shop, a guy from the store came out and
handed Jake a red rose. "This is for the other night. Red for passion."
Ivan gaped. The guy was really cute as he blushed. Jake, on the other
hand, just flashed his cocky smile, accepted the rose, and told the guy
that he'd call him before walking away.

Jake noticed Ivan's disgusted look. "What?" He asked.

"You've slept with all of them." Ivan stated.

Jake chuckled. "Of course not. I leave when it's over. My bed is so
much more comfortable."

Ivan looked at Jake and saw him sniffing the roses. Ivan rolled his
eyes. "So what, you're bi now?"

Jake glanced at Ivan, surprised that he `d even brought that up. He said,
"Funny.  I thought we didn't know each other. I believe your exact
words were, `It's not like we even know each other outside of the
classrooms.'" Jake tried to mimic Ivan's sarcastic tone.

An awkward silence developed between the two and Ivan hated it.
That was the exact thing Ivan was afraid was going to happen. He
shouldn't have talked like they really had known each other in the past.

"Hey faggot." The silence was broken by a smirking Andy Pearson who
passed by them.

Both boys froze on the pavement. Andy looked at them and laughed.

"What is your problem?" Ivan surprised himself when he shouted after
Andy and marched towards him. Andy turned around, equally surprised
by Ivan.

"Why can't you just leave me alone? I haven't done anything to you."
Ivan said.

Andy stared at Ivan and broke out laughing. After his laughter subsided,
his face grew serious. "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to him."
He nodded at Jake's direction.

Ivan looked at Jake and saw the terrified look on his face. Somehow Andy
knew about the two of them. How did he know? When Ivan turned back to him,
Andy was already gone. When he turned back to Jake it seemed like they
were both about to cry.

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Thanks for reading. Now, I know what you're thinking. What in the world
happened between Jake and Ivan? Well... It's actually, uh... Just read the
next chapter to find out :D

Thanks again to Mr. Dennis S for editting my work and for those who aren't still
members of the facebook readers' page, We have lots of room for you guys. If you
want to join, here's the link:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/ISBreaders/

Thanks! Keep on reading :)