Date: Wed, 1 Oct 2014 16:00:00 +0800
From: Jeffrey Venzuela <jtvenz72@gmail.com>
Subject: I Shall Believe - Chapter 27

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Warning:  If you don't tolerate or approve of the gay lifestyle please
leave now.

This story is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real
people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters,
places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination, and any
resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is
entirely coincidental.
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Jesse didn't know what had made Max agree to come up to his room with
him. Maybe it was the desperation in his voice when he begged, "Please
Max. I don't want us to be like this. Just let me explain." Or maybe Max had
come to the party because he wanted to tell Jesse what a jerk he thought
he was. Ever since Max had walked in on Andy and Jesse in the basement,
Jesse had spent most of his days thinking about how to apologize and explain
everything to Max. He had played the conversation over and over in his head
at least a hundred times, but it always ended differently. Sometimes, it would
end up with Max on top of Jesse, kissing him fiercely. Sometimes, it ended
with Max walking out on him. And now, Max was sitting on his desk chair in
his room but the words Jesse had rehearsed refused to come out of his mouth.

"Well?" Max said, distracting him from his thoughts.

Jesse exhaled and said, "I'm gay."

"Yeah. Seeing you kiss that Andy guy already told me that."

Jesse tried to decipher Max's tone but he came up with a blank.
His face said nothing either.

"Well, are you mad at me for it?"

"What, that you kissed that guy?" Max said, surprise in his voice. "Of course
not." And then he added, "I'm not mad at you Jesse. I'm disappointed."

Jesse looked away from him. "Because I'm gay." He stated.

"No. I'm disappointed because you lied to me about it." Jesse met his eyes
and knew Max was telling the truth. "I thought we were cooler than that."

"We were." Jesse wanted to kick himself. Max was right. They had grown
Really close, but he was too preoccupied with getting Max to like him
romantically that it had gone over his head how accepting Max really was.
But would he accept the fact he had feelings for him?

"We are, Jesse. We are cool." Max said, a smile forming on his face.

Jesse smiled back but in his head, he was wondering if he should tell Max
how he felt about him. Ivan had done it to Michael. Jesse was sure he
too could find that courage somehow. But, of course, it apparently hadn't
gone so well for Ivan.

"As long as there are no more secrets between us." Max added lightly,
but his eyes were looking intently at Jesse.

Jesse fought hard to keep the expression on his face from falling. He didn't
want to lie to Max again but what if this one piece of information could ruin
their friendship for good?

"What is going on out there?" Max asked going to the door.

"Huh?" Jesse hadn't been paying attention to anything aside from Max
and his thoughts. But now, he could hear noises and chattering from
outside his room. The party suddenly seemed louder.

Max opened the door and the sounds from outside washed into the room.
Jesse heard someone say something that caught his attention.

"Andy Pearson?!" A girl voice said incredulously.

Jesse's eyes immediately went to the bottom drawer of his nightstand
where he had been keeping the tape of him and Andy, in case Andy couldn't
keep his end of the bargain.

He wrapped his hand around the drawer handle, wishing to himself that
the tape was still inside. He slid the drawer open and the tape was gone.


	This can't be happening, Ivan thought. Jesse wouldn't be so stupid as
to leave the tape of himself and Andy out in plain sight. Ivan ran back into the
house, hoping that he had heard the boy wrong. But when he arrived inside,
a crowd was already forming around the door to the basement rec room. It
seemed like whatever was happening, everyone at the party was eager to be
in on it.

"He has a sex tape."  Ivan heard someone whisper.

Ivan tried to think positively. Maybe Jesse recorded himself with other
guys. He hadn't seemed troubled at all when he had done it with Andy.
Maybe that was just one of the things Jesse did for kicks. But Ivan had to
face it. If that were the case, Jesse would surely have told him about it.

Ivan was struggling to pass through all the people that blocked his way
when he heard someone from the basement. "Is that Andy Pearson!?"
 Ivan cringed. This really was happening.

Loud footsteps came running down the stairs and shouted, "Get out
of my way!" It was Jesse followed closely by Max.

Ivan saw the fear in Jesse's face. Nope. That wasn't the face of a guy
that had a habit of recording himself having sex. Upon reaching
the bottom of the stairs, Jesse saw Ivan and the two exchanged worried
looks.

"Can you please just get out of the way?" Ivan asked the people
in front them.

Out of nowhere Michael started gently pushing through the crowd.
"Come on, guys. Nothing to see here." His voice was calm but it was
firm. As he passed Ivan and Jesse, he tried grabbing Ivan's arm. But
accidentally, he grabbed Ivan's hand instead.

Ivan quickly pulled his hand away from Michael, who appeared to be
equally as surprised as he was. Michael quickly turned away and continued
advancing towards the stairs leading down to the basement with Ivan, Jesse
and Max following him.

As Jesse landed at the bottom of the stairs, he saw himself on the TV screen.
He was exposed. Not just his body parts but also his sexuality. That moment,
he felt more naked than he actually had in the footage.

"Turn it off!" Jesse shouted amidst the hoots and holleringas he walked
his way past through the crowd to the TV.

"A sextape, really? Now that's original," said by an amused Randy who was
standing close to the flat screen on the wall.

Jesse, having heard the remark, growled as he stomped across the
basement. Ivan was behind him while Max went straight to the power cord
to unplug it.

"Okay, party's over. Everybody out!" Michael announced, clapping his
hands together loudly to get the room's attention. "C'mon people. Party's
over!"

Groans of disapproval went around the room but everyone obeyed
Michael's command. Michael followed the crowd to the door
just to make sure everyone would be leaving.

"Enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame." Randy said to Jesse as he passed by
to leave the room.

"You did this." Jesse hissed.

Randy shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not." He said, walking out through the
door.

"That dirty little bitch! I know he's the one who did this." Jesse said to no
one in particular.

"C'mon Jesse. Randy isn't that type of person." Max said certainly.

"Yeah, it could be anybody." Alex added.

Jesse wanted to argue about how Randy was exactly the type of person
 that could do such a thing but it did seem a little far fetched. He looked at
Ivan who he knew was thinking the same thing. "If this reaches Andy..."

"Let's not go to the worst case scenario." Alex said.

"Jesse's right Alex. If he finds out that people have seen this video, he'll go
crazy. We have just outed him and Jesse." Ivan said.

"It's not like we played the tape in purpose." Max tried to pacify them. "And
Jesse will be fine. I have his back and so does the Alliance. I'm sure everyone
will support him through this."

Jesse managed to smile a little. Max can be so sweetly sincere at times.

"The Alliance?" Alex asked out loud although she seemed to be only speaking
to herself.

"Yeah. I'm sure the group will be able to do something--

"No, that wasn't a question for you guys. An idea just popped in my mind.
I think I might have a plan to stop this news from reaching Andy." A wicked
smile formed on Alex's face.

The three boys just looked at her with curiosity. Alex just raised her eyebrows.

"I'll tell you guys all about it tomorrow. Let's just sleep it off for tonight
and don't worry I'll be making some moves on my own later to kick-start
my plan."

Ivan, Jesse and Max just exchanged worried glances.

"Alex, you know what you're doing, right? You're not gonna get yourself into
trouble or anything." Ivan said.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Stop worrying. I have a few tricks of my own. I promise
it doesn't involve any danger."

"Okay then..." Jesse said tentatively. "Well, you guys can go. I still have some
cleaning up to do. Any signs of a party being thrown here will be enough for
my parents to ground me until I turn 18."

"Don't be silly. Of course, we'll stay and help you clean up." Alex said.

"Yeah. We don't mind." Michael agreed as he returned from clearing the people
out of the rest of the house.

"No. I'll stay. You guys can take off." Ivan said pointedly, looking at Michael.
It made the boy stop in his tracks but he recovered immediately.

"Okay then. Let's go Alex." Michael nodded his head towards the door .

"Are you sure babe? I don't mind at all, really."

"I'm kinda beat." Michael reasoned. "Sorry Jesse."

Jesse waived it off. "Its okay. I have Ivan here anyway." He looked at Ivan,
sensing the tension between him and Michael.

"Let's go then." Alex said as she hooked her arm with Michael's. "And I want
to talk to you about something too." The two went back up the stairs and soon
Michael's jeep could be heard driving off.

"I'll stay here and crash if you don't mind." Max said to Jesse.

Ivan and Jesse exchanged looks. That was unexpected.

Max then quickly added, "I forgot my keys to the house and I don't wanna
wake up my parents."

"Sure. It's fine." Jesse said a little too nonchalantly. He didn't want to make it
seem like the thought of Max staying the night excited him, which it really did.

"Guys I think I'll start cleaning out back." Ivan announced and left the two
boys in the rec room.

It looked to Ivan like things were starting to work out between
Max and Jesse. But as for him and Michael things were far from working
out. He didn't know what had come over him. He had come down hard
on Michael and he didn't have any right to do that. Who was he kidding?
He was just another gay guy in love with his best friend. Of course it would
never work. But sometimes Ivan would see a look in Michael's eyes that
gave him hope that maybe--just maybe, he could feel the same way about
him.

Ivan tried to push back his thoughts about Michael and suddenly felt
fortunate that he had Andy to worry about again. It was ironic. When his
world revolved around his own problems, especially with his tormentor,
he wanted them all to be over. And when it seemed like they finally were,
his mind had been taken over by his feelings for Michael. But now, he was
picking Andy over Michael -- well, to mull over anyway. He really didn't know
what to do about all of this mess. He felt guilty for even getting Jesse into
this position and he had to admit, outing Andy didn't give him any pleasure
at all. He felt sick to his stomach just thinking of what Andy would do if he
found out that he had been outed at a high school party. And what was Alex's
plan? The smile on her face wasn't the sweet friendly kind that she had for
her friends. It was the wily one with a mean streak to it.

Ivan was picking up trash in Jesse's backyard when he saw a passed-out
Jake on one of the benches. He walked towards the bench and pondered
if he should wake him or let him get eaten up by mosquitoes for a night.
Ivan thought it would serve him right after what he did to him at the dance.
But before he could decide what to do with Jake, the boy's eyes opened.

"Ivan," he said as he pulled himself up to a sitting position. "Where'd
everybody go?"

"The party's over." Ivan said as he picked up the empty beer bottles nearby.

Jake took out his phone to check the time. "But it's just 2 am."

"We ended the party after somebody had decided to play Jesse's little sex
tape with Andy on the big screen in the basement rec room." Ivan explained.

"What? Who would do that?"

Ivan shrugged.  "We don't have any idea. Let's just hope Andy doesn't find out
about this." He felt a nervous tingle as he pictured Andy beating him up.

Jake stood up and reached for Ivan's shoulders. "Relax, Ivan. Maybe not a
lot of people saw it."

"I was there Jake. If you weren't so busy chasing on girls or guys or any
mouth you can shove your tongue into, you too would've noticed that almost
everyone at the party saw the video and it was clearly showing both their
 faces."

Jake winced. "I'm sorry. But if it makes you feel any better I wasn't out
here tonight to hook up with someone else. I came here just for you, so I could
talk to you."

"That's funny. 'Cause I came to the dance for you and you totally blew me off."
Ivan stopped and tried to contain himself. The conversation was deteriorating
and it wasn't helping either of them. "I'm sorry. I'm just going to finish cleaning
up out here. You can go home now if you want to."

"No. Let me help you." Jake said and offered to take the black trash bag from Ivan.

Ivan hesitated at first but then handed the bag quietly to Jake. The two boys
walked around the yard, picking up bottles and cups.

When they finished, they went back inside the house and found Jesse and
Max eating sandwiches from the kitchen counter. They were in a middle of
conversation and Ivan couldn't help but notice the smile on Jesse's face.

"Jake, I didn't know you're still here." Jesse said as he saw the two walking in.

Jake smiled sheepishly. "I passed out on one of your benches outside while
everything went down."

"How are you holding up?" Ivan thought he had to ask although Jesse seemed
to already have lightened up for some reason.

Jesse nodded yes. "You guys hungry? Max here can make you sandwiches."

Max, with his mouth full, groaned at Jesse but had a smile on his face.

"I'll have one." Jake went Max's side to help with sandwich duty.

Jesse made his way to Ivan who was on the other side of the kitchen.
"You sure you don't want one?"

"I'm fine. But are you sure you're all right? You suddenly seem so okay." Ivan
pointed out. It was strange to him. A few moments ago, Jesse had been upset
and had even been putting blame on Randy but now he just seemed like he
was over it.

"That's because I am okay. Max and I were just talking and he made me realize
that I am surrounded by friends. That I'm not going to go through this on my
 own. I have you, Michael, Alex and him. Especially him."

Ivan agreed. He was just worried that things would go bad for Jesse because
of what had happened. After all it was so much like what had happened
too him not too long ago. But Jesse was right. He had friends. Something
that Ivan didn't seem to have had at the time.

"Worrying won't do any good, you know. So just take it easy Ivan. I know
you. You have the tendency to overanalyze everything. But what's done
is done and whatever's gonna happen from here, we'll face it together.
I promise. Everything will be okay."

"You think so?"

"I know so." Jesse grinned and opened his arms to offer Ivan a hug.

Not used to being affectionate with Jesse, Ivan rolled his eyes and caved.

"God, I'm the one who will walk into school on Monday as a newly outed
gay guy and you're the one who needs assurance." Jesse said and they
 both chuckled.

A cell phone started beeping and the two separated to check on their
phones. "I just got a text from Alex. She said to meet up tomorrow morning
 at 10 in Jean's diner." Ivan stated. Not long after he finished, the others'
phones beeped one by one. They all got the same message. "I guess, we're
all going then."


The next morning, Ivan was the first to arrive. He greeted Jean a good
morning and sat on one of the stools at the counter.

"How was the party?" Jean said as she placed a cup of coffee in front of him.

My best friend and I are on the outs because of my undying feelings for
him and Jesse just had a sex tape released, Ivan thought. "Eh. You know...
The usual high school rager." Jean didn't need to know what was going on.
The last thing Ivan wanted was to worry her.

Jean looked like she wanted to talk more, but customers started coming in.
Jean attended them and after Ivan finished his coffee, he tried helping her
out around the diner. Soon, Jesse arrived and he and Ivan ate breakfast while
they waited for the others.

"Is Max coming?" Ivan asked Jesse.

"Yeah." Jesse replied simply.

"What time did you guys get up? I tried to wake you up before I left but
your room was locked."

Jesse's eyes were fixed on his food. "I don't know. I didn't really check the
time. Eight-ish, I guess. Then I drove him home."

Ivan narrowed his eyes at Jesse. He didn't even look up from eating his food
and there was an odd tone in his voice. "There's something you're not telling
me."

That made Jesse look up to meet his gaze. "What are you talking about?
Since when did I keep stuff from you?"

"Now, apparently."

Jesse put down his knife and fork. "Fine. Busted. But promise you won't tell
anyone." Ivan nodded. "Max and I made out last night."

Ivan's jaw dropped. "No!"

Jesse grinned. "Yes. But don't tell anyone okay? Max doesn't want anyone
to know."

"But I thought he was straight. He said so himself."

Jesse shrugged. "Well apparently he's heteroflexible. It was a pretty heavy
make-out session with a lot of crotch grabbing."

Ivan's head was full of questions. "How did it even start?"

"Well, our lips met..."

Ivan squinted his eyes at Jesse who chuckled and response. "I don't know.
We were in my bed and I started feeling his breath on the back of my neck,
I turned around and a few moments later we were going at it."

Ivan was going to ask for more details but Max had arrived. "Hey." He greeted
him with a conscious effort to sound normal.

"Hey." Max greeted back and sat on Jesse's side of the booth.

"Good morning." Jesse greeted him with a smile, which Max returned with
a bigger smile.

Ivan was across the table and couldn't help but notice how the two actually
looked like a couple. As Max was making his order, Ivan saw an actual
couple walking into the diner, Michael and Alex. Alex was giggling as Michael
whispered something in her ear.

Ivan's stomach started to turn. Suddenly he was nervous and didn't know to
act around the two of them. At the party, he didn't have any inhibitions
because of the alcohol in his system but now, it all felt awkward and
uncomfortable. "I need to go to the men's room." He announced and left
the table.

Ivan splashed some water on his face and stared at his reflection in the
 mirror. He thought he looked pathetic, fighting a battle he knew he would
lose. He loved Michael and the more he realized that fact, the harder it was
to be around him, especially seeing him with Alex. Whenever he was near
Michael, he'd feel the need to touch him, feel him. But it just couldn't be.
He was just himself--just a friend. And that is something that he'd always
have to live with. The thought was depressing but it was the truth. And like
everybody always says, the truth sometimes hurts.

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Thank you guys for patiently waiting. I know it's been a really long time
since the latest update but I promise that I'll try to post the next
chapters faster. What do you guys think of the latest chapter? Feel free to
tell me your thoughts through email or through the readers' page. :)

Thanks again to Mr. Dennis S for patiently editing my work. For those who
aren't still members of the facebook readers' page, we have lots of room
for you guys. If you want to join, here's the link:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/ISBreaders/

Thanks! Keep on reading :)