Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2014 19:54:54 -1200
From: Jeffrey Venzuela <jtvenz72@gmail.com>
Subject: I Shall Believe - Chapter 28

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Warning:  If you don't tolerate or approve of the gay lifestyle please
leave now.

This story is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real
people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters,
places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination, and any
resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is
entirely coincidental.
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Ivan took a deep breath. He had retreated to the bathroom to compose
himself from the turmoil  of seeing Michael and Alex's public and obvious
affection for one another. But now he was ready to  return with a new
sense of resolve. The only way for this to work was to ignore Michael and
simply banish all his feelings towards him. He knew that if he could do this,
his emotions would fizzle out. It was a long shot but it was more dignified
than begging for Michael to love him back. Ivan was firm in his decision and
wanted his insanity to stop. He marched out of the men's room with confidence.
However, by the time he had gotten back to their table, Jake had arrived and
there now was only one seat available. The one right next to Michael. And just
like that, Ivan plunged right back into a wrestling match with his feelings as
he was forced to sit in the chair between Alex and Michael which Alex had
saved for him.

Alex was already discussing the plan she had come up with the night before
but Ivan couldn't concentrate. Just the mere presence of Michael by his side
was distracting him. The warmth of Michael's body and a casual touching
together of bare arms was enough was enough to send a jolt of electricity
all throughout Ivan's battered soul. All his senses zoned out while his tactile
sensation response went on overload. He was heating up.

"Are you okay, Ivan?" Alex asked.

Breaking out of his Michael-induced trance, he replied, "Yeah. I'm okay.
You were saying?"

"Are you sure? You look a little red." Alex's hand went to Ivan's forehead,
checking his temperature.

Jesse suppressed a smile, knowing that Ivan didn't have any fever but was
actually blushing. Ivan caught his eye and made a face that pleaded for help.

"Looks like somebody had a little too much to drink last night. Don't worry.
He's probably just a little dehydrated." Jesse said.

"Yeah. Few cold glasses of water will take care of me." Ivan said to convince
Alex.

"Or a cold shower." Jesse quipped but Ivan's glare quickly caused him to
amend his statement,  "You know, to help cool down his body just in case
it is a little warm."

Alex gave them a weird look but just shrugged the whole thing off. "Anyway,
as I was saying. I already sent a mass text to my squad telling them to simply mix
the story up and make sure no one tells the real story to anybody else."

Everybody else at the table was silent as they thought it through. Jake was
the first to speak, "How can you be sure they will follow your orders?"

Alex's wicked smile formed slowly, giving Ivan chills. "Easy. I am the
captain of the squad after all. And if that isn't quite enough, they all know
I have at least one dirt on each and all of them. They wouldn't dare risk
opening that Pandora's box."

"So you'll blackmail all the cheerleaders in our school. What makes you
think that will work?" Max asked.

Alex was about to explain but Jesse cut her off. "It's the code of honor and
silence. First they honor Alex's request so she'll keep silent about their secrets
and then they will threaten other girls with the same blackmailing tactic.
And before we all know it, all the girls have their mouth shuts to protect
their own secrets."

"But that's crazy." Max commented.

"Crazy brilliant and ballsy. I didn't know Alex had it in her." Jesse looked
at her with admiration.

"Okay. Now that we know how mean girls operate." Jake looked at Jesse
pointedly when he said mean girls. "How do we deal with the guys."

"Nah. Most guys don't gossip." Alex said, waving her hand dismissively at Jake.

"Are you kidding? You wouldn't believe what boys say in the locker room."
Jake argued.

"And there may be some guys on the team that actually liked Andy." Michael
added.

"Do they like him enough to tell him?" Ivan finally found his voice.

"Who knows? Sometimes people can just surprise you about how they
actually feel towards you." Michael replied, not even looking at Ivan.

Jesse smiled at Max, obviously relating Michael's statement with their situation.
However, Ivan's jaw almost dropped.  Was that suppose  to be a jab against
him? Or was he being paranoid? Maybe it was a general statement and that's
why Michael didn't look at him.

"What will your squad actually say?" Ivan asked Alex to steer the conversation
away from Michael's statement.

"Some of them will keep others silent while some of them will create other
 versions of the story. In no time, people will be confused as to which story
is really true. And the guys could easily think that they were maybe too
drunk to know what have actually happened."

"But there are others at the party who have actually seen the video." Max
pointed out.

"Yes but most of the people who were at the party are in the know. And
they are exactly the type of people my squad can easily get to. And we all
know how it works.  Once the gossip comes from the A-list, that's when it
will be immortalized."

Jesse scoffed. "For a couple of days or weeks until another rumor starts."

"Right. So please don't do anything rumor worthy or everyone will think
I'm being partial." Alex's smile was back to her sweet one.

After they had finished their food and gotten up from the table, Alex announced
that she and Michael would be going to the theater to see a movie,
and asked if the rest of the group wanted to join them.

Ivan quickly made an excuse to politely decline. "Sorry. Jesse and I already
agreed to lay low for the rest of the weekend and just hangout." He looked
at Jesse, willing him to play along.

Luckily, Jesse had caught on. "Yeah. We're going to watch TV reruns."

Alex just shrugged. "Okay. Jake and Max?"

"Can't. I'm doing errands for dad today." Jake answered.

"Same here. My mom needs me for some chores." Max said.

"Looks like it's just us babe." Michael said as his arm found its way around
Alex's waist.

In spite of his resolve, the term of endearment stabbed Ivan's chest. He
ached for Michael to call him that. He wished to be the one who Michael
holds hands with and whisper sweet nothings to. He wanted all of it. He
wanted Michael.

"We should go." Ivan said and feigned a smile . "See you guys on Monday."
He walked quickly away from the table and passed by the counter to say
goodbye to Jean. Jesse was right behind him.

"You okay?" Jesse asked once they were outside.

Ivan thought, no. I want to go back there and demand for Michael to take
me to the movie instead. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"


Later that afternoon, Jesse and Ivan were already at their seventh episode
of a soap opera that Jesse had chosen and Ivan was still not feeling any
better. He had himself pressed against the far end of the couch which
engulfed him in a soft hug. Jesse was saying something about the character
on the TV but Ivan's mind was elsewhere. He wished for the couch to be
Michael or for Michael to be on the couch with him, the two of them snuggling
close. "I am definitely not okay." Ivan admitted.

"You think?" Jesse shut off the TV and turned to Ivan.

Ivan moved a little closer to Jesse's spot on the couch. "I'm going crazy. Ever
since I told Michael I have feelings for him, he is all I can think about."

"That's not crazy. You're in love, crazy in love like Beyonce." Jesse snickered
at his own joke. Ivan rolled his eyes because he was trying to be serious but
he laughed a little anyway.

"That's just the thing. I do love him but ever since my confession we
haven't had a real conversation. I want to talk to him about it but he's just
making it too hard. I'm starting to miss him."

"He's probably still processing." Jesse commented.

"Maybe. But what if this is it, you know. What if this is how we'll be like for
the rest of our lives. I want him so much but..." Ivan trailed off as he thought
of his life without Michael in it. He couldn't picture it. Growing old with
Michael had always been a given. But considering how things were at
the moment, Ivan's vision of the future with Michael had started to fade. Michael
wouldn't be standing by him as his life long partner. Now, not even as his
best friend.

"Just give him time. He'll come around. You've been friends for too long.
Teenage hormone-driven feelings won't drive you apart."

Ivan was uncertain. After all, Andy had been enough to tear them apart. "I
shouldn't have kissed him and told him that I loved him. What was I thinking?"

Jesse squeezed Ivan's shoulder. "You were following your heart."

"I just wish I could take it back, you know? I'm starting to miss the way we were.
But we can't go back. Now every time we're around each other, it's always
awkward and weird. I don't know what to do, Jesse."

"You may not be able to take it back but... I have a thought." Jesse started,
although he sounded unsure. "Maybe Michael will ease up a bit if he knows
you're not in love with him anymore. And what better way to show that
than by going out with someone else?"

Ivan was silent as he considered Jesse's idea.

"It's just a suggestion, Ivan. If you're really concerned about your friendship
then I think that would help a little bit with the awkwardness." Ivan just
nodded, still thinking it through. Jesse bit his lower lip as his forehead
furrowed in concern. "Look, Ivan, I'm really sorry. I really wasn't expecting
that it would end up this way. I thought Michael had feelings for you too.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have teased you that much about it."

A small genuine smile formed on Ivan's face. "It's not your fault, Jesse.
 I've been bottling up these feelings for as long as I can remember. That
homecoming night was just all too much and I guess I couldn't bear it
anymore."

"I'm really sorry. If only I had been there." Jesse said.

Ivan assured him that it was okay and that again, it was not his fault. He
asked Jesse about Max to change the conversation.

Jesse immediately grinned as he was reminded of Max. "I don't know.
Now, him. He is the crazy unexpected." Jesse shook his head. "I didn't think
it was possible. When I rolled over to sneak in a kiss, I was ready to pretend
to be asleep so he wouldn't realize I was making a move on him. But then I
felt his lips kissing back so I just went for it. And boy did we--"

Jesse's story was cut short by the doorbell ringing. Ivan held a finger up as he
stood up to get the door.  "Don't hold that thought. I don't want to know
the gory details. I may look at Max differently after all the corrupted things
 you might have done to him." Ivan joked while he walked to the door.

Jesse laughed and shouted after Ivan. "How dare you! It was all PG-13!"
He turned the TV back on and flipped through the channels. He was watching
a music video when Ivan came back with paper bags giving off smells that
filled the room.  "That smells good! Where did you order them and when
did you have the chance to? You were sitting beside me the whole time,
you stealthy ninja."

Ivan put down the bags on the coffee table and stared at them. "That's
the thing. I did not order these but the man who delivered it said that it
was for me. He even recited my name and address."

Jesse came closer to examine the bags. "This is from that fancy Italian
restaurant downtown. That's weird." He started taking out the contents
of the bags, small to-go boxes and two cups with tiramisu. "Maybe there's
a note stuck in here or something."

Ivan suddenly felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He fished it out and saw
that he had just received a message. "Hope you and Jesse enjoy your
afternoon. I hope you like Italian." Ivan read out loud. "It's from Jake."

Jesse's eyebrows shot up. "Wow. Someone's stepping up his game."

"What do you mean?" Ivan asked innocently.

"C'mon. The guy clearly likes you." Jesse answered. He picked up a to-go
box, sniffed it and smiled. "This smells really good."

"Jake likes everybody. He's just doing this because he's either still guilty
about ditching me at the dance or he's getting desperate because I'm one
conquest he can't win."

Jesse rolled his eyes. "You're being such a girl, you know that?"

"Whatever. I'm gonna get us some plates and utensils." Ivan left for the
kitchen but Jesse followed him.

"Why can't you just accept it? The guy likes you."

Ivan took out two plates from the cupboard and handed them to Jesse.
"I did accept it. And then he made a fool out of me. I'm not making the same
mistake again." Ivan picked up some utensils and walked back to the living
room.

Jesse was right behind him. "God, you really are a girl." Ivan glared at him.
"What? You're acting like one right now. This is his way of asking for another
chance. At least give him that."

Ivan was starting to get irritated by how Jesse is pushing for Jake. Jesse
knew how Jake had treated him. "I don't owe Jake anything."

Jesse's face softened. "No. But you owe it to yourself. Maybe he's the guy
for you."

Michael is the guy for me, Ivan thought.

"If not, he can be the guy you can show off to Michael. Who knows where
it may lead? But you'll never know unless you give him a shot."

Ivan had to admit Jesse had a point. However, the thought of going for
somebody else felt strange to him. Like somehow, he would be cheating on
Michael. But he and Michael weren't in a relationship. Michael was with
Alex whereas Ivan only had his own feelings and wishful thinking. Ivan
sighed and shrugged. "I don't know. I'm too hungry to think. You're right.
This all really smells good."

The two boys excitedly opened the boxes which revealed baked ravioli
and calzones. Ivan put the two cups of tiramisu in the fridge so they'd stay
chilled and when he got back to Jesse, they started eating as they resumed
watching TV.

"But seriously Jesse, aren't you at least worried about Monday?" Ivan asked
in between servings.

Jesse took his time chewing his food as he contemplated his answer. The
truth was he really was nervous about what might happen. He had not planned
on revealing his sexuality to the student body. He wanted to go through
high school quietly, graduate and start living his life as he wanted in a different
place where people would be more accepting or at least wouldn't stick their
nose into someone else's business. Yes, he was worried about Monday.
"It's gonna be okay." He said once to reassure Ivan and again to calm himself.


That following Monday morning, Ivan was preparing for school when he
heard a car honking outside the house. He looked outside his bedroom
window and saw Jesse's car.

Ivan headed outside and walked towards Jesse who was leaning against
his car. "Hey. I didn't realize we're going to school together today."

"Why not?" Jesse asked.

Ivan shrugged. "I just thought you'd start going with Max."

"Oooh. Someone's jealous." Jesse chuckled. Ivan just gave him a face. "No.
We're not dating or anything. I don't wanna freak him out by randomly
showing up on his doorstep, offering to take him to school." Jesse got into
the car and Ivan followed. "And besides, I need you. You're my human shield."

Ivan rolled his eyes. "Thanks. I'm so honored."

As they drove closer to the school, Jesse's heart started to pick up its pace.
He had spent the entire night tossing and turning, imagining the things that
could possibly happen and how he'd deal with them. Thinking it through
gave him enough peace to sleep through the night. But now his nerves
were back with a vengeance.

With Jesse lost in his thoughts, Ivan couldn't help but notice how silent
he'd become. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Jesse responded quickly. "Of course. I can handle this."

"Okay." Ivan said and tapped on Jesse's knee.

Jesse had just parked the car and was still inside with Ivan when two girls
passed by, looked at them, and whispered to each other.

Jesse swallowed. "They know."

Ivan sharply inhaled. "Oh my god."

"Do you think they know?" Jesse asked, starting to panic.

"I don't know. I think so." Ivan said, evidently worried.

"God. You are bad at this." Jesse scratched his head. "You're supposed to
reassure me. Not add fuel to my paranoia!"

"I can't help it! I'm nervous for you." Ivan admitted.

A knocking on the window on Jesse side of the car made the boys jump in
their seats. Both turned to see that it was only Max.

"Okay. I talked to a few people and it seems like Alex's plan worked." Max
told the two after they had gotten out of the vehicle.

Ivan was a little surprised. It had been a decent plan but he wasn't expecting
for it to work.

Jesse let out a laugh of relief and started walking towards the building,
the two along beside him. "You gotta love the power of social blackmail."

But Max wasn't finished. "Now, every one's a little bit confused about who
really was on the tape."

"But?" Ivan asked. He could practically hear it from Max's tone.

"But... Everyone is certain that it was Jesse in the video along with another
boy." Max said, looking at Jesse with concern.

Out of nowhere, Jesse felt a hand slap the back of his head. "Fag! You're it!"
It was Rick Summers along with another boy from the football team. They
laughed at the surprised faces of Jesse, Ivan and Max.

"Assholes." Ivan muttered.

"You okay?" Max stepped closer to Jesse.

Jesse bit his lower lip as he exhaled through his nose. "Is that all you got!?"
He called at Rick.

Rick and his sidekick looked at each other and laughed harder. "Are you
trying to pick a fight?" The two started towards them.

Ivan looked at Jesse who just stood his ground. He looked at Max but the
boy seemed to be in his fighting stance too. Ivan had a bad feeling about
what was about to happen so he tried to talk some sense into Jesse. "C'mon
Jesse. They're not worth it. You're only gonna get yourself in trouble."

"I don't care." Jesse replied to Ivan. And as if to prove his point, he said out
loud for everyone to hear, "What? Afraid for someone who likes ass might
kick your little ass?" He grinned as he saw his opponent's face heating up.

Ivan was now at Jesse's face. "You may get suspended for this."

"So?" Jesse asked defiantly.

"You listen to your little girlfriend there. You can't take both of us. You
probably punch like a little girl." Rick teased, to which his sidekick chuckled
automatically.

Ivan groaned. "Jesse, you're above this."

"No Ivan. They're above us! At least that's what they will think if I walk
away. They think we're somehow less than they are just because we're gay."
 Jesse said, frustration and determination in his voice.

"I'm with Jesse here, Ivan." Max said, showing he really was ready to fight
alongside Jesse.

"That's what I thought! All talk! Bunch of pansies." Rick said.

Jesse smirked. "You're one to talk but you're just standing there. You act
all big and tough, tough guy? But we all know your tiny little secret."
Jesse lifted his pinkie finger and waved it at Rick.

Rick took off his backpack. "You're gonna regret that you little fag!" He
growled as he charged towards Jesse.


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So here it is, the latest chapter. I'm so happy I was able to work on this
much faster than the last one. I'm really trying to meet your expectations
on my pace when it came to posting new chapters. I'm getting there though,
I hope. LOL. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it. And again, feel free to tell
me what you guys think about this one :)

Thanks again to Mr. Dennis S for patiently editing my work. For those who
aren't still members of the facebook readers' page, we have lots of room
for you guys. If you want to join, here's the link:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/ISBreaders/

Thanks! Keep on reading :)