Date: Tue, 04 Aug 2009 08:13:20 -0400
From: hardreader2000@aol.com
Subject: I Thought I Knew Chapter 29 Part 3

Chapter 29 -- Part III
From Jess' viewpoint

Justin was being so helpful in trying to navigate around Billy and his
interruptions.

"Thanks, Justin. But maybe now isn't the best time to talk about this," I
said and started to get up to go. It didn't feel like this was really the
right time to share my news. The mood wasn't right. At least Billy's mood
wasn't right. He was just into the sex. It had been cool to watch him jerk
off as I told him about me and Sam. When he groaned and let loose his big
creamy load, I've got to admit it sent a big old charge through my
cock. But what I had to say was about more than just sex. At least it was
about more than just sex to me.

"If it's important to you, it's important to me," Justin said and then
corrected himself. "Important to us," he said, looking to Billy for
agreement.

"Un huh," Billy mumbled.

"Go ahead, please, Jess. What's your news? I really want to hear," Justin
said.

"Well, it's kind of weird. Particularly with that introduction," I said,
nodding toward Billy, who was still sitting on the floor in a puddle of his
own cum. Licking his fingers.

"Go ahead, whenever you're ready," Justin said.

I took a deep breath, steeled myself for what was to come, and started
telling them what I thought was the most amazing news of all.

After having sex with Sam, we both lay down on his bed side by side. My
cock was still rock hard. Streaked with cum and red from all the action it
had just gotten. My cockhead was still dripping a little bit of cum. A
strand of it hung from the tip and was pooling down just above my navel.

I'd never fucked a guy before and my mind was racing with images of what
had just happened. What I'd just done. I'd actually fucked my
cousin. Sam. Little Sam. I'd shoved my big old cock up his tight
ass. Rammed it in an out. And cum deep inside him. So hot! Thinking about
it made my dick twitch from time to time and a little more cum flow. I felt
a little chilled, but Sam reached over and put a hand on my thigh. It
seemed to warm my whole body.

As nervous and excited as I was, I never thought I'd fall asleep. But I
did. I think we both fell asleep. As I drifted off, I remember thinking
maybe Sam was right. Maybe none of his family would ever walk into his
bedroom. Maybe everything was going to be cool. Maybe this could happen
again. And again.

Anyway, I went to sleep. With Sam lying beside me. Both of us still
naked. The smell of cum in the air. Cooling cum running down my side. As
crazy as everything was, I felt really good about what we'd just done. I'd
just done. Like I'd accomplished something important. Like passing a
test. Or proving something to Justin . . . and Billy . . . and myself. I
was sure my dreams would be just as good as fucking Sam had been.

I don't know how long I'd been asleep, but the next thing I knew my dad was
in the room yelling and screaming. All I could think was that I'd been
caught and I was dead meat. I was so scared.

I looked around to see where Sam was. He was kneeling close beside me. His
knees against my side. His hard cock held in one hand. Shit! I quickly
realized that what my dad was seeing was beyond belief.

There I was, his one and only son, lying naked on the bed. And there was
Sam, kneeling beside me, facing me. His hard cock still in his hand. He had
just jerked off all over me. A big load. So thick. A long, thick string of
cum dripping from the tip of Sam's cock. Dripping down to the rest of Sam
hot load that was clearly visible all over my cock and balls and abs. He'd
just creamed another big load all over me while I was sleeping and I hadn't
even known it.

At that moment, I was almost as panicked as my dad. I could see what was
going on and that was bad enough. But what I didn't know was how much my
dad could figure out about what had gone on earlier. Could he tell I'd been
fucking my cousin? That I had rammed my cock up Sam's butt until I
came. Wow! My mind couldn't process what was happening fast enough. I guess
it was like I was in shock or something.

All I really knew was that Sam's cum was all over my crotch and my dad was
flapping around and screaming like a wild eagle.

"What the hell," my dad was yelling at Sam. I was scared and confused. What
had my dad seen? What had he guessed?

"What have you done to my son?" my dad bellowed at Sam. And then to me, in
a more concerned tone, he said, "Get up, son. Get some clothes on. Go wash
yourself clean. Wash very carefully. We'll talk when you're done." He
almost pushed me out of Sam's room.

I thought sure he must realize we had had sex. I was shaking all over. I
thought I was gonna be sick.

It turns out that Sam had woken up before me. He saw me lying there and he
was still really horny. So he decided to unleash one more load of his
cum. All over me. And he got caught. By my dad.

It also turns out that my dad had no idea Sam and I had had sex. He had no
way to know. No reason to suspect. Other than my own cum drying on my tired
cock. But I wasn't going to point that out to him.

As I told all of this to Billy and Justin, they were all ears. They didn't
say a word. So, I continued.

There was a big blowup between the two families. In the end, it was agreed
that I wouldn't stay in the house the rest of the trip. The whole blame was
being put on Sam. But then nobody knew there was any more to it than that
Sam jerked off all over me while I was asleep. I came off looking
completely innocent. And, in a way, I was.

I didn't know where Sam had gone, but he wasn't at the house when I came
out of the shower.

Once I was cleaned up and my dad had checked to make sure I was OK, he
explained that Aretha, Sam's black step-sister, worked at a hotel/motel
near downtown. She could arrange for me to stay there for free. I was more
than ready to get the hell out of that crazy house. I gotta say, the sex
was great, but it wasn't worth it. I'm lucky I didn't have a heart attack
when my dad started in with his screaming at Sam.

After a pretty awkward dinner, I drove with Aretha to the hotel where she
worked and she set me up with a room. I unpacked a little bit and then just
collapsed in a chair watching whatever was on TV. I really didn't want to
think about anything at that point.

Sometime later, I heard a knock at the door. It was Aretha. She was on one
of her breaks and had just come in to check on me. She asked me if I minded
telling her what happened. I don't know why, but I had felt completely at
ease with her from the moment we first met.

Before I knew what was happening, I'd told her everything, I mean every
detail of what had happened between me and Sam. She wasn't the least bit
surprised. She said his parents had suspected for sometime that he was gay
and she'd known it for more than six months. She'd asked him and he'd
confirmed it.

Then, out of the clear blue, she asked me if I was gay. And I just said,
"Yeah." Like it was no big deal. I couldn't believe I'd just outted myself
to her, but it just seemed safe. And natural. It turned out to be one of
the best decisions of my life.

She had to go back to work, but told me she'd be back when her shift was
over to check on me again. I told her that would be great.

Anyway, a couple hours later she came back and we got to talking. Before
long I'd told her my whole story, from when I first started to worry about
being gay cuz I liked to eat my own cum and stuff, right up to you guys
cumming on me and then coming out to our friends. Everything. I just told
her everything. It seemed so natural and easy. She just asked questions and
I kept talking. "

"And how did she react when you told her you were gay and had already had
sex with other guys?" Justin asked me.

"She just listened and sometimes asked a question. Usually like, `How did
you feel about that?' Always questions like that. She was always asking
about me. About how I felt. Was I OK?" I said.

"What you're saying is her questions weren't like Billy's questions,"
Justin said, getting in a dig at my best friend. Then Justin started
imitating Billy and the way he asks questions. "So how much did he fucking
cum? Did he fucking groan a lot? Were you still fucking hard? What did his
fucking cum smell like?" I couldn't help but laugh. It was just like
Billy. And nothing like Aretha. Justin had it just right, as usual.

Billy looked a little hurt at this humor at his expense, but he didn't say
anything. I think he knew it was right on the mark.

I told Justin and Billy how interested Aretha was in everything that I
said. And how concerned. I talked to her for hours about my life. About her
life. About being black in Iowa. About being gay in the burbs. Stuff like
that.

It had gotten late and we were lying side by side on the bed. Just being
quiet. Thinking about all we had told each other. And she said like
completely out of the blue, "I don't think you're gay."

"She said what?" Billy blurted out, interrupting my story. As usual.

I said to her, "What are you talking about? I just made it with Sam like
five minutes after I walked into his room."

I fell silent. Billy and Justin just stared at me. I didn't know what to
say next. I didn't know what they'd think. Nobody said anything for the
longest time. The three of us just looked back and forth at each other.

"So that's your big news?" Billy finally asked. "Your news is that your
cousin's step-sister who'd just met you didn't think you were gay?"

"No. That's just how things got started," I said. "There's more to the
story. It's just kinda hard for me to tell you guys."

As I started telling my story again, I guess I got more vague about
stuff. I didn't provide a lot of details. I didn't think I needed to. And
mercifully, Justin and Billy didn't ask a lot of questions.

Basically Aretha told me that she thought I was living my life as though I
were just some sort of stereotype. I was trying to be what other people had
told me I was, or should be. I was doing what I thought I was supposed to
do. Not what I wanted to do. Or what I thought I should do.

When I said that, I saw Justin give me a funny look. He knew that I was
talking about him. He knew he had been the person I had turned to most
often for advice recently. He knew he was at least one of those "other
people" Aretha was talking about. I didn't mean to hurt him, but she was
talking about him. And I thought she might very well be right.

Anyway, Aretha said she wanted to show me something. And what she showed me
was powerful. Life changing. Before the night was over, I had made love to
her every way a guy can. I didn't mean to brag, but I know I was smiling
big time as I told all this to Billy and Justin.

I knew from the moment she and I first kissed that I wasn't gay. At least
not the way I thought I was. It was totally different with her. It wasn't
just my cock. It was my whole body that got turned on. I didn't think we
were in love. But it was lust at a whole new level for me.

The room fell silent. I expected Billy and Justin to say something. To ask
me questions. Or at least give me some shit. But they just sat
quietly. Thinking, I guess, about what I had just told them. What it all
meant.

"I think I understand why it's so hard for me to find a space with you two
guys when you're together," I finally said. "When a guy figures out what he
really wants, what he really likes, there isn't room for much else. You
guys have figured it out and sometimes that doesn't leave much room for
me."

"So are you going to see her again?" Justin asked.

"I doubt it. We talked about it. She's older than me and we're too far
apart and we're sort of cousins," I said. "But I think I might have
discovered what truly turns me on: Black women. Smart black women. Maybe a
little older than me. Someone who cares about how I feel and what I want."

"Some fucking shit that is," Billy finally said, breaking his long
silence. I didn't think that he meant it as a put-down. It was more a
statement of his amazement at it all. He was just stunned by what I had
told them. "So when are you going to tell the rest of the guys that you've
turned straight again?" Billy asked.

"I don't think I will. I don't think I've figured everything out yet. We
graduate soon and I think I'll just leave things the way they are for now
as far as the rest of the guys are concerned."

"But you think you're straight?" Justin asked in the most sincere
voice. Almost sounding concerned, but also sounding like he was ready to
support me whatever I said. It was Justin at his best.

"Sometimes I think, Yeah, man, I'm straight. It's black pussy for me. Other
times, I think back about that night with you two guys at the hot tub. Or
about fucking Sam's tight ass. And I gotta say those were good, too. Don't
ever get me wrong. That was great sex. Maybe I'm bi. I don't know. I don't
even know what my choices are. But I don't think I know enough to decide
what I am just yet. And that's why I wanted to talk to you so bad tonight."

It wasn't easy to say this next part. It seemed too much to ask. But I
didn't know what else to do. And so I just asked.

"Guys, I gotta know if I'm straight or gay. I don't want to be some old
confused dude in my 20s still trying to figure this shit out. I don't want
to waste my life. Wake up one morning and realize I'd done it all wrong. It
seems to me that until this past week, every time I had sex of any kind
with a guy or a girl, I felt like it was wrong. I think it was the church
my folks went to. It was really down on sex. Period. And it left me with a
lot of guilt.

"But this last week, I finally just cut loose and did shit. And it was
great. It started with having the two of you slobbering all over my cock
like two hungry dogs the other night. I let loose while we were doing it
and that was great. But when it was over, I just wasn't sure about stuff
and I kind of felt bad about myself again.

"When I fucked Sam, I thought I'd figured something out from that night
with you two. Just do it. Forget about the guilt. Well, that was a big step
forward. Even when my dad walked in and started screaming. Even with all
that going on I still knew that something fundamental had changed in me. I
was a different person. I thought I knew that I was really gay and really
could learn to like it. Hell, I did like it.

"Then I fucked Aretha and like wow! It was even more. Much more.

"And now . . ." I wanted to look Justin right in the eyes at this
point. That's how I'd pictured it. But I couldn't. I let my head drop as
though in shame. Without raising my head, I finally continued. "I've never
been fucked. And I need to know what that's like. I've heard Billy talk
about how great it is when your big old hard cock," and I paused and forced
myself to look straight into Justin's eyes, "your big old cock is thrusting
deep into him. Connecting the two of you. Powering him is some special
way."

I turned and looked into Billy's eyes and said, "I know you really love
that. You love Justin and you really love getting fucked by him." I flashed
Billy the private smile I only share with him. "It'll never be like that
between you and me."

My eyes darted between the two of them as I continued. "I thought I saw
some of that on Sam's face when I was fucking him. To see his eyes roll
back in his head. To feel his ass tighten around my cock. To realize the
power I had over him, With him. In him. It was awesome.

"But I need to know what it's like to be on the receiving end. I've got to
know. It will answer all my questions and at last I'll know. I'll know who
I am. What I am.

"So that's why I needed to talk to you guys so bad. Will you do it?" I
asked, not able once again to look either of them in the eye. "Can you help
out a friend?"

To be continued . . .

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hope you've enjoyed this latest episode. The next part of
this story will follow in a few days. Please email and tell me what you
think. Your feedback turns me on. And motivates me, too. So don't spare the
details.

The names and some other identifying information in this story have been
changed to conceal the identities of the characters described. The
copyright for this story is held by Hardreader. The story may not be
reprinted or distributed elsewhere without the permission of the author. I
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