Date: Tue, 24 Apr 2012 00:54:23 -0700
From: Eric James <eric.z.james@live.com>
Subject: I wanna know what love is chp 5

This fictional story contains sex and graphic violence between underage
minors. All normal legal warnings apply. Story should not be used,
duplicated or re-written without the consent of the author as the author
holds the copy right to the story. Please feel free to send all comments
and suggestions to my email eric.z.james@live.com



I wanna know what love is -- Chp 5



"Hey baby, how you doing?" Christian asked with a sly grin, that same grin
that made him look like a snake. When most people see someone with a grin
on their face, they smile back, they feel warm for whatever reason the
other person is grinning for. But not Jules, he didn't trust Christian's
grin, he now knew what kind of bullshit was behind that grin and it
unnerved him to see it on his face now.

"I'm good Christian, why are you here?"

"I came to see you, Damian said you were in the hospital and I got worried"

"I'll deal with Dam for opening his mouth" he said as he shot Damian a look
that could shatter glass "but I'm fine, you didn't have to come all this
way" he shot Christian with a lot of attitude.

"Fine my ass, you have a scar on the side of your head, you look like you
weigh 90 pounds and you're pale. What happened?"

"I was attacked at home by two kids that I go to school with" Jules said
reluctantly. Christian walked over to his bed with a sad look in his eyes
and took Jules' hand in his and held it.

"I'm so sorry Jules" he said with pity in his voice "Tell me who they are
and I'll get them, you know I will"

"I don't need you to do anything for me, and I don't need you pity" Jules
said pulling his hand away.

"Damian can I talk to Jules alone?" Christian asked.

"No, I don't think so, you already got me in trouble for asking me about
him when I was half asleep. I'm not leaving your alone with him"

"It's ok Dam, let him have his minute then he can go on his way" Damian
nodded and walked out the room closing the door behind him. He didn't trust
Christian; he broke Jules in so many ways. Everyone told Jules about him
being a bad guy but he didn't believe it, he built up blinders because he
was in love with him. It took Jules walking in on Christian getting a blow
job from some other guy to make him realize how much of a douche he really
was. Jules later found out from Christian's best friend Connor that he was
only with Jules to try and get him to buy him stuff.

"I'm sorry if I upset you Jules, I didn't mean to"

"You didn't mean to upset by coming here or when you let some little punk
from down the street suck your dick or are you sorry that I had to walk in
on it?"  "Please babe, you have to forgive me so we..." He said but was cut
off.

"Please don't say get back together" Jules said laughing so hard he almost
pissed himself.

"Well, yeah" Christian said.

"Why would I ever do something like that? What makes you think I would ever
forgive you enough to get back with you?"

Christian leaned in close to Jules, so close Jules could smell the cologne
he was wearing. It was Jules's favorite cologne and he bought it for
Christian on his birthday. The fragrance brought back memories of good
times long past. He was trembling with anticipation; he did know why a boy
who broke his heart a few months earlier was now making him feel
butterflies in his stomach. Christian leaned in closer staring into his
eyes, he leaned in and kissed Jules on the lips. It was a sweet gentle kiss
and didn't have any tongue, Jules wanted to pull away from the kiss but
couldn't.

Christian stood up with a huge smile on his face and rushed to the door, he
went to walk out the door but stopped short and turn back to face
Jules. "You loved me once Jules, you can love me again" he said with his
smile still on his face "you just gotta let me make it up to you" He walked
out the room leaving Jules utterly speechless, he berated himself for
allowing him to kiss him. Christian was the last person to kiss him before
they broke up, he hadn't kissed anyone since and he was longing for the
touch of someone's lips, even if it was Christian Anderson.

The rest of the evening was uneventful for Jules, after watching some
unentertaining television; he put on head ear-phones and iPod that Damian
had snuck in for him and let the sounds of his music lull him to sleep. His
sleep however; was restless. He kept thinking about the kiss that Christian
gave him and how nice it felt, no matter how much he disliked him, he was
still a good kisser and good at other things as well. Jules figured he
needed affection at this point-in-time and why not use Christian for his
own needs, just like Christian tried to use Jules for his.

The next day Stellan and Aiden showed up and talked the Dr. Dhatri into
discharging him, he agreed on the condition that Jules get a lot of rest
and keep the physical activities to a minimal and reminding Jules in
private to come back for a check up in a month before having anal
intercourse again.

When he entered the front door, he was greeted by Damian, Amy and DeMarco
holding Welcome Home banners and balloons. He loved his friends immensely
for their gesture and knew he would be able to get over this terrible
situation with them at his side. They went into the kitchen to have an
early dinner and some cake to celebrate his homecoming. Damian was a wizard
in the kitchen and cooked Jules' favorite Jambalaya. He loved it and
couldn't remember the last time he had a home cooked meal.

After eating the laughed, talked and tried to keep the mood light for
Jules' sake, he picked up what they were trying to do and didn't want to
deter them from that, he was just happy seeing smiling faces standing in
front of him. After a while; the door bell rang, Stellan checked the
security monitor then ran to answer the door. He returned with a huge
bouquet of flowers with a large stuffed teddy bear and a card. Jules took
the card and opened it to see who it was from, though he had a sneaking
suspicion of who it might be.

(Step one in trying to win you back, get well soon -- Christian) Jules
tried to hide the slight smile on his face, hoping his friends didn't see
it but at all brought those familiar butterflies in his stomach that only
Christian can cause. He sent Jules his favorite purple roses and he was a
sucker for a huge stuffed teddy bear, he knew how to push his buttons and
Jules mentally kicked himself for allowing him to do it.

"Who are they from?" DeMarco asked.

"Um...from Christian"

"What!!" Aiden shouted.

"Who is Christian?" DeMarco asked.

"Christian was Jules's cheating, lying, scheming, and conniving
ex-boyfriend whose ass I should have kicked a long time ago" Aiden said in
an extremely angry voice. Jules registered Aiden's tone, he knew that he
hated Christian but thought it was for how he had cheated on him. He also
noticed how Amy kept giving her brother pleading but silent glances but
shrugged it off as their twin thing.

The conversation turned to the school winning the previous night's game
against their rival, and how scouts had already called the head coach who
was also Aiden's uncle to come and watch him practice. Jules warmed up
inside watching Aiden talk animatedly about playing college football. The
conversation again switched to the school work that Jules was going to have
to make up, which wasn't a problem. With an IQ of 158, he was putting most
of his teachers to shame and he knew the work would be completed in no
time. And then the topic of conversation switching again, then again; Jules
started to notice that the group was trying to avoid a particular topic.

He hadn't thought about it much before, but then he started to recall how
his dad would change the subject in the hospital when he would ask about
the West brothers and their father or how Aiden would change the subject
when he asked if anyone at school had heard about it yet. He knew his
family of friends were trying to protect him, but he didn't like being lied
to or having things that directly concerned him being kept from him. The
more he thought about it, the more he became upset, so upset that he
developed a splitting head ache and said he needed to sleep. He headed for
the stair case to head up to his room when Stellan stopped him.

"You should sleep in my bed kiddo, so you don't have to walk the stairs. I
can sleep in one of the guest rooms"

"No dad, it's ok. It's your room and your bed; I can make it upstairs with
no problems"

"Come on Jules, I insist" he said with a hint of desperation. Jules noticed
it right away.

"Dad have you been sleeping in the guest room all this time?"

Stellan was silent.

"Look dad, I know it's hard; I wouldn't even go in there for a month after
you left, it reminded me way to much of her. Her smell, her clothes, her
jewelry, just everything about her is that room. But I got over it, just
like you need to get over it. I can't imagine what you went through losing
her; she was your wife and soul mate. It was different for me because she
was my mom, but if you want to be close to her and remember her you have to
go in that room and not close it off"

"You have your mother's wisdom kiddo" he said. Jules gave his dad a hug and
went upstairs to bed. He pulled off all his clothes and walked naked into
the bathroom, he washed his face and brushed his teeth. He inspected his
scars to make sure they were clean and then took some pain pills for his
headache and sore bones. He sat down on his large queen size bed and pulled
a box out of his night, we rolled a joint with the weed he kept inside the
box and after he smoked it all, he went fast to sleep, he didn't even feel
Damian climb in the bed twenty minutes later. They shared a bed since they
were babies and it was nothing knew to share a bed.

It was 2 am when Jules had another nightmare, but this time it was
different. All the nightmares he's had before were about his mother's death
and how he couldn't stop it; this one was about his attack. It started with
flashbacks of being hit in the back and being knocked to the ground. He
started whimpering and moving around in his sleep while he was trying to
fight Jacob and Joshua off of him in his dream, his body tensed as his head
was slammed on the marble floor and he screamed out loud when Jacob pulled
off his shorts.

His scream woke Damian, he looked over and saw Jules crying out and
thrashing in his sleep. He threw the covers back and moved over to Jules
and wrapped his arms around his body and pulled him in close. Jules
screamed again when Damian grabbed him, he woke himself up, realized he was
in his best friend's arms and started to cry.

"Shhh...it's ok brother, I got you. I won't let you go"

"Why couldn't I fight them off?" Jules asked as he cried.

"They took you by surprise, who knows what anyone would do in that
situation; just try not to think about it too much" Jules rested his head
on Damian's chest and cried himself to sleep as he held him tight and
rubbed his back, minutes he fell asleep as well. They slept the rest of the
night in each other's arms like they had done as kids and Jules wasn't
awoken from another nightmare.

*********************

The West brothers have spent about two weeks in Juvenile Hall since being
formally charged for their actions against Jules. Because of the nature of
their crimes, they bail was set really high, their mother could have easily
paid both their bond but wanted them to sit there and comes to terms with
their consequences. The boys were being kept separate for fear that Jacob
would be hurt by his brother for speaking out. Joshua however; was turning
18 in a few and then would be transferred to county jail.

Jacob has been in a state of utter depression since his arrest, not for
speaking out against his father and brother, but for what he actually
brought himself to do to Jules. Yes he was pushed into it, but he didn't
have to go through with it. Sitting in his cell now, he wish it had been
him who had been raped instead of Jules, he also beat himself up for not
having the courage to tell Jules how he felt early on.

The morning after Jules was discharged from the hospital, Jacob's mother
and lawyer came to visit him with some news and a decision that he would
have to make. He was afraid to look at his mother, she had these shameful
gazes that could crumble brick, but as she sat down with his lawyer in an
interview room she had a hopeful expression on her face. There was a
glimmer of hope that she wouldn't hate him forever.

"Jacob I have some news that I need to share with you" his lawyer
said. "The federal prosecutor handling you case has presented you with a
deal that I think you should take"

"What is the deal?" Jacob asked timidly.

"The feds and the prosecutor feel that you were pushed into participating
in the rape against Jules Barrett, they think of it as a form of bullying
and are willing to be lenient on your sentencing if you plead guilty and
testify to how they made you do it"

"But I already told that FBI agent all that already"

"Yes but they want you to do it in open court"

"In front of daddy and Joshua? I don't think I can do it"

"If you do it, you will be sent to a camp for troubled youth for a maximum
of five years, where as if you don't take this deal, you will do about
fifteen years in prison" his mother said. "Jacob I'm sorry, this is
partially my fault. I wasn't there for you enough and made it so you
weren't comfortable coming out to me, I don't hate you for being gay. I
keep thinking to myself that if I was there for you more, you would have
told me and I would have helped you deal with your dad and brother and this
would have never happened" she paused to wipe away some tears.

"I came to see your brother yesterday and he is so full of hate, I can't
believe I didn't see it before, your father really got his hooks into
him. Joshua is beyond any help I can give him other then keeping him in
jail, do you know hard it is as a mother for me to say that? But you
sweetie, can still be helped. Do this and let us help you, you'll go to
that camp and work and finish school, you'll even get some counseling..."

Jacob held up his hands to stop her. He thought for a moment and realized
what the right thing to do was. He knew going against family was wrong, but
he also knew that what he did to Jules was far worse then what he was about
to do to his dad and brother.

"I'll do it" he said "on one condition, I need to be able to apologize to
Jules and explain to him"

"I don't know about that Jacob" said his lawyer "that's not a good idea,
you have idea who is father is do you? I shouldn't say this, but you are
lucky to even be alive, besides I doubt the kid will forgive you"

"I don't need him to forgive me, I just need to apologize. Face to face"

The lawyer said he would call the prosecutor and make arraignments but it
wouldn't be anytime soon, Jules agreed to testify in the case against his
brother and dad. On the same day in a different unit, Joshua was having a
very bad day. He might have been a tough guy in his high school world;
actually he was pretty tough and popular. He got what he wanted when he
wanted; he had a gang of friends who worshipped him. If he didn't like you
for whatever reason, he made you life a living hell and he loved it. The
only person who wouldn't back down to him was Aiden. He hated it when Aiden
would stand up to him, he was the only person he couldn't beat, he hated
being shown up by a black guy.

That was on the outside, in the juvenile detention center he was the
furthest from the toughest, and he was one of very few white kids. He was
way out of his element and didn't know what to do. On his first day in lock
up, took some bad advice he seen in a movie and searched out the baddest
kid and tried to kick his ass. It didn't turn out in his favor as he was
beat until he shit himself. The kids left him alone after the beating,
chalking it up to a new white kid who didn't know the rules, until a guard
informed them that he was in for beating and raping a black kid. Everyday
since, he was used a punching bag. He sat in his bed at night impatiently
waiting for the day of his 18th birthday because he knew he would be
transferred to the county jail and away from these kids. He had no clue
what would be waiting for him once he got there.

Jason West was released on bail the day after his arrest; he put his house
up as collateral and used his girl friend as a co-signer on his
bond. Sitting at home on the day he was released; he came to a
conclusion. There was nothing he could do, he job was over and was boys
were going to prison and he couldn't change it. I.A.B had a case against
him and he could only guess what was in the file. He was a bad
son-of-a-bitch and he knew it. He would arrest guys and make them pay him
for their release. If you were any kind of minority, he targeted you and he
wasn't the only cop who did it, but he knew none of them would come to his
defense and they could come after him if he snitched. He decided to leave;
pack whatever bags he could, grab his passport and leave.

********************

Three days have gone past since Jules came home from the hospital and he
was doing alright for the most part. He was getting caught up on his
homework and was even helping Damian finish his. The doctor told him he
could go running for a while but he needed to run to clear his head, one
day he tried to sneak out for a run when his dad caught him, so he took up
running on the treadmill in the basement gym.

He was still waking up every night with nightmares and Damian was right
there to calm him down and make sure he went back to sleep, Jules asked him
not to tell anyone about the nightmares. He was also getting frequent
headaches, which the doctor told him could happen with a head injury, but
what he wasn't expecting was the panic attacks he started
experiencing. They would happen at random; he would have a flash back and
start to freak out. Those episodes scared him because he couldn't seem to
get them under control.

Christian called, texted and emailed everyday, doing his best to get Jules
to forgive him. He hardly answered his calls but he did respond to a few
texts and returned one email, though it was a brief reply. After Christian
first sent the flowers, he followed up sending Jules his favorite candy
with balloons and then sent him a box of his favorite DVD's. He was trying
to pull out all the stops and Jules was starting to enjoy it.

At the end of the week Christian called again but this time Jules answered
it. He asked Jules how he was feeling and after a brief conversation about
his healing injuries, Christian asked him if he wanted to go out to dinner
that night. Jules thought for a minute; he knew he shouldn't go but also
thought that it wouldn't hurt anything if he did. He knew he wouldn't have
sex with him, but decided a romantic dinner would be something that he
needed at the moment. He told Christian that he would go, and after making
plans to be picked up at 7 pm that night, he hung up. After he got off the
phone, Stellan walked in the family room followed by Aiden and DeMarco who
brought Jules he next stack of assignments. The all had apprehensive looks
on their faces like they were trying to hide something; Jules was fed up
with the bullshit.

"Spill it" he said to all of them. They looked at each other and mentally
decided to try and avoid the question.

"What are you talking about?" Aiden said.

"Don't play stupid with me, any of you. You have been trying to keep
something from me since I was in the hospital. Do you think I'm stupid
enough not to notice? I'm smarter then all of you combined, but I let it be
because I thought it was sweet that you were trying to protect me from
whatever it was. But now it's becoming annoying so spill it"

They knew they were made. Stellan cringed at the look on Jules face; it was
his mother's look. Whenever she was upset and knew you were lying, she gave
you this look with her eyes. That look alone forced you to confess and that
was now the look on Jules' face.

"It's about the case against the West boys and their father" Stellan said
"The case against Joshua is still happening, he won't confess or cooperate
even with the video, he is locked up and will be serving a lot of time,
close to sixteen years. The story with Jacob is a bit different, because of
his confession and other factors that are being taken into consideration;
he is getting a lesser sentence and will go to a juvenile camp that is
operated by some people I know"

"Who get's to make the decision as to why he is getting less time, he did
the same thing his brother did, he beat me and raped me then held me down
while his brother took his turn. Did anyone think to ask me what I thought
about to matter?"

No one answered

"I didn't think so...so why him? Who decided they he was less at fault then
his asshole brother?"

"I did son" Stellan said with downcast eyes.

"What do you mean you did?" Jules asked so shocked his skin turned a shade
lighter.

"If you heard why he did it Jules you would get it" Aiden said.

"Wait a minute; you know what this is about?" Jules asked, pissed off
now. Aiden regretted opening his mouth "So if you knew that means the rest
of you knew and no one said a fucking thing to me. It happened to me not
you" he shouted. "Anything else I don't know about?" he fumed.

"The story made the paper today but I haven't read it yet and will be on
the news tonight" Stellan said

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Don't worry kiddo; you're a minor and a victim so they can't use your
name"

Jules never read the paper so he would have never knew anything about the
story being printed if they didn't say anything. He ran to his father's
office and picked up the news paper off his desk and searched for the
story, he found it on the second page and started reading it as the group
entered. He gasped when he got to the sentenced that stated: "Victim is 16
year old high school student by the name of Jules Marcel Barrett who
attends Cajon High School with his attackers"

"I thought you said that couldn't say my name" he shouted.

"They can't son, you're a minor"

"Like hell they can't because they did" he said. Damian went to grab the
paper but Jules snatched away from him and kept reading until he got to the
next sentence and started to hyperventilate.

"It says their father jumped bail...and can't be found...and is considered
dangerous"

He was shaking and breathing hard, he was in a full panic attack. Aiden
tried to hug him and calm him down but he pulled away, Stellan tried next
but he pushed him away as well. Damian grabbed his hand started whispering
in his ear until Jules calmed down, then he pulled his hand back and gave
Damian a dirty look. He was hurt, that out of everyone who knew Damian
didn't tell him.

"It will be ok, nothing will happen I promise" Aiden said.

"Like hell it will" Jules hissed "it would have been more ok if you would
have told me instead of trying to keep me in the dark, I hate being lied to
and you all know that" he tried to rush out the room but Aiden caught his
arm and pulled him into a hug, this time Jules let him. He hugged him for a
few minutes as Jules steadied his breathing and his mind, he wiped a few
tears from his eyes and then he pulled away.

"Thanks Ade, I gotta go get ready, I have a date in a few hours" Jules
said.

"With who?" he asked as Jules walked out of the room and ran up the stairs.

"With Christian" he shouted back.


(Author's Note)

Jules is about to go out on a date with the ex that everyone hates,
especially Aiden. But will Ade sack up and tell Jules how he feels? You
have to wait until the next chapter...don't worry though it will be out in
a few days time. Thanks again to all the emails from the readers, they are
great and keep me writing. Please email me with comments and suggestions at
eric.z.james@live.com

A story always works better for me if I get a clear understanding of what
each character looks like. So below are photos of the people that will be
written about the most and as a new person is introduced, their photo will
be added.

http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/JulesBarrett.jpg
http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/DamianJohanson.jpg
http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/AidenTalley.jpg
http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/DeMarcoGiordano.jpg

http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/JoshuaWest.jpg
http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/JacobWest.jpg

http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/StellanBarrett.jpg
http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/AmyTalley.jpg

http://i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w496/EricZJames/ChristianAnderson.jpg