Date: Sun, 04 Jan 2004 16:14:25 +0000
From: Matt417 _ <dressedtokill41787@hotmail.com>
Subject: I'll See You Soon - Chapter 3

Disclaimer:
This story involves romance/sex
between male teenagers. If this offends you, or is illegal in your
country or state/province, do not read any further.

This story is, for the most part, true. Maybe that's why it sucks.
Only some small details had to be changed to keep the flow of the
story going. Last names to the characters will not be given out.
Any contact information included in the story regarding the
characters will  be fake.

Any comments and/or constructive criticism can be sent to
dressedtokill41787@hotmail.com
Copyright(c) 2004 All rights reserved.


I'll See You Soon - Chapter Three
by matt417

***

I was 15 years old.
I came to Trafalgar Collegiate at my physical best. I'd undoubtedly
never looked better in my entire life. Over the summer, I'd been
doing some more jogging, weightlifting, and dieting. It all paid off.
I could even wear sleeveless shirts now and even look decent in them!
After all, I wanted to make a good first impression at my new school.

The first week went better than expected. I met lots of great people,
and I was astonished by the whole social aspect of high school.
At Victoria, I'd been with the same 25 students all through school,
but here, there were over 300 people in my grade alone, and it was
like I was meeting new, fresh faces every single day.

No more did I have Friday nights sitting around doin' nothing.
I went to movies with my new friends, hung around with them, and
it was great. I wasn't used to this since all my friends at
Victoria lived in different cities. I was loving it. My social
life had never been better.

I kept my secrets secret. No one would ever have to know that I was
gay. It was simply none of their damn business, and if my being gay
would change their perception of who I was, then there was really
no need to bring out the subject.

On the second week of school, I met Dan. He was about 6'3", probably
200 lbs, and not surprisingly, on the football team. Up to that point,
he was the most popular guy I'd met. It didn't surprise me though.
I don't know how anyone could dislike this guy. He was really nice,
really sociable, never got anyone pissed off.

It was weird how we met though. I was just walking to lunch from my
locker when out of nowhere, he came to me and he was said,

"Hey, man, what's up?"

I gave some pathetic reply, but I had no idea who he was. I later
learned that he was in my Civics class, and everyday after that, I
sat beside him and became friends with his friends.

I was doing well in school. Trafalgar collegiate's standards in
academics were just as good as Victoria's, so there as no problem.
I was always a 90s student, so I was pretty happy about that.

School was going just as I planned. Compared to Victoria, every
day at this school was like a holiday. I don't know why I didn't
transfer sooner.

***

Saturday approached quickly. It was a beautiful day in June, but
the sun was blocked out by the buildings and towers in downtown
Toronto. I walked briskly up Yonge street. I'd taken the train
to Union station, and was just on my way to the the Eaton Centre.

My watch read 1:05 PM. I was already late. When I got to the HMV
in the eaton centre, I scoped out the place. He was going through
the posters, looking thoughtfully at each one.

"Hey," I said, walking over to him.

"Oh, hey, didn't know if you were comin'"

His South African accent sent shivers up my spine.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," I said.

"Well, what you wanna do?"

"Well, it's 1:15. Had lunch yet?"

"Nope, I'm starving. I know some great places around here though."

"Alright."

I followed him onto Queen Street. We made some small talk, just
discussing where we were from, our backgrounds, stuff like that.

He told me he was born in South Africa. His dad was a corporate
lawyer, so his family had to travel around a lot. They lived in
South Africa for 14 years, then moved to Germany, the U.K., Australia,
the U.S., and finally settled down in Canada after his father
retired from corporate law and became an architect.

He was out to his family. They didn't take it well at first,
but his mom slowly started to accept it. His father had
beaten him when he'd found out that he was gay.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Haha, you have nothing to be sorry for. It's not you who
beat me after all."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Well, my father's an asshole. There's not much anybody can
do about that."

We walked in silence, occasionally looking over at each other.

"So, are you out to your family?" he asked.

I grimaced.

"Kind of, kind of not. I'm not too sure." I answered.

"Well, it's gotta be one or the other, eh? So how is it that
it's kind of, kind of not?"

"It's a complicated story," I said. In truth, it was more stupid
than complicated.

"Tell me. We've got the whole day."

"Well," I started. "I had this phase back when I was 13 when I
had this personal crusade to advertise being gay. So I told
some of my close friends, and I thought I should tell my parents
too."

"Go on."

"Okay, so first of all, you have to understand that my parents
don't get along with each other very well. They won't even
stand being in the same room together. So I had to tell them
separately. The funny thing is, their reactions were both
the same."

"And what reacton was that?" he asked.

"Ha, well I told my dad first. He was like 'you think you're
a homo?'. I explained it as best I could to him, but he just
laughed and told me that I was too young to know."

"He could've been right."

"But by now I should know. I'm 16 years old and nothing's
changed."

"Yeah, so what else did your dad say?"

I continued,

"He told me to keep an open mind, but to him it was a big
joke."

"That sucks."

"And my mom, when I told her, she thought it was funny too,
and she told me that I was for sure not gay. Both my parents
think it's completely unnatural. And they also seem to think
they you have to be feminine to be gay. They haven't talked to
me about it since then. I guess they just figured I'd sort
myself out and turn out to be straight."

"You're not feminine. Far from it. I never would've guessed
that you'd be gay." he said.

"Thanks I guess."

"Okay, we're almost there. We're going to a place called
Sushi Bistro."

"You like japanese food?" I asked.

"Love it. I had an old boyfriend who was Japanese."

"So just how experienced are you?" I asked curiously.

"This is the first date I've had in almost a year."

"I hadn't realized this was a date." I said, smiling.

"Can we make it one?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, I forgot the flowers."

"No need, I'm a low-maintenance kinda guy."


At the restaurant, I ordered a sushi and sashimi combo,
and Andrew ordered a teriyaki.

"So, just how many languages do you speak?" I asked.

He'd been all around the world, so he knew quite a few.

"Oh, well there's English first, but I'm fluent in
German, Russian, Japanese, French, and Spanish. I know
some Ukrainian and Italian. Enough to get by."

"Holy shit." I said.

"That makes 8 languages."

"You play any sports?" I asked.

"Just swimming. I competed a lot last year. Even had to
shave my legs for it! But yeah, that's about it. I'm
horrible at most other sports."

"Me too. I do a lot of weightlifting and some jogging.
Just to stay in shape." I said.

"That's good."

He was so cute. Today, he had his blond hair spiked.
He wasn't puny either. He was just an inch shorter than me,
and wasn't scrawny. He had amazing blue eyes.

"The eyes." he said.

"I like 'em."

"Yeah, that's the only part of myself that I really like. That's
why my nickname is Ice or Ice-Freeze. It's the colour of my eyes."

We paid for our meals separately and decided to go for a movie.
We chose to see Minority Report at the Paramount Theatre. It was
alright but I hate Tom Cruise. Somehow he just annoys me. Maybe
it's his cocky attitude or his geekiness. Enough about Tom Cruise.

Andrew and I left the theatre and went for a coffee at Second Cup.
We talked a bit about nothing, mostly just staring at each other.

"So I guess you're new to all this." he suggested.

"New to what?"

"The whole gay lifestyle."

I gave him a blank face.

"I've been with a couple of guys. But now I want to commit.
That's what I want. And I'm not settling for less than that."

"I can understand that." I told him.

"You see this is the gay lifestyle: party stage, slutty stage,
and then settle down. Most people only make it to the second one.
I want something long-term, and someone who will see me as much as
they can."

He never ceased to amaze me.

"That's exactly what I want. It's funny, we have so much in common."

"Yeah. I'm glad I met you."

"Me too."

"Have you always been at Trafalgar?"

I sighed.

"No, I came last year in Grade 10."

"Where'd you spend Grade 9?"

"Victoria College." I said.

"Private school. Nice. So why'd you leave?"

I paused.

"Did I breach a hard subject?" he asked cautiously.

"No, it's okay. But it's a complicated story."

"Well how 'bout you uncomplicate it and tell me?"

"Alright. Well, firstly, I wanted a change. I'd been at
the same school with the same 25 people for 7 years.
I also wanted to go to a more interesting school with more
people. Umm... I needed a better reputation. And plus,
I needed a better selection of eye candy! Most of my classmates
were geeks!"

He laughed at that a little.

"A new reputation, what was wrong with yours then?" he asked.

"Well, this is what happened. In the summer going into high school,
I came out to my friends. One of those friends was a bastard and he
told his friends who eventually told the whole school."

"Fuck, that sucks. So everyone knew you were gay?"

"Yeah. The friends I used to have eventually talked to me less and
less. Probably because of all that religious brainwashing. It's the
same with my parents. They kept saying it was unnatural."

"Fuck hell, it's natural!" he burst out.

I looked around, making sure we didn't draw any attention to ourselves.

"It's like the flower with five petals." he said. "Most havefour, but
this one has five."

"I think it's more environmental." I said.

"Just because we're different doesn't mean you should treat it
differently. Well I see you have a lot more discovery to do, in regards
to your sexuality. Don't worry, you have time on your side."

"Well, I look at it this way. I went to an all boys school for 7 years
of my life, I only knew a few girls who don't happen to be very
attractive at all, my dad has been away from me at least a quarter
of my life because of working overseas so that took the father figure
out of my life. My entire life points towards turning out gay."

"This is a complicated subject."

"Yeah, let's change it. I don't think we have all the answers yet."

"You know," he said. "You are too perfect. Isn't there anything about
you that isn't right?"

"You'll see my weaknesses soon enough." I said. "Hopefully not too
soon." I added.

"Gimme a heads up." he said.

"Okay. Well, I can be really awkward sometimes and do the most random
things. But I think the worst thing about me is that I can't express
my feelings when I want to."

"Okay. But I bet you fuck great in bed?"

We both laughed.

"So," he said. "It's up to you. Is this the last time I'll ever see
you? It's your decision. If you don't wanna see me again, I'll be
disappointed but I guess I'll have to live with it. But if you
do wanna go out again-"

I put my fingers to his lips.

"I like you Andrew." I said.

"But? I like you Andrew, but...?"

I smiled.

"I like you Andrew... and there is no but."

"Thanks." he said.

"Just tell me now though.. do I have any chance with you?" I asked,
looking straight into those pale blue eyes.

"I should be asking you that." he answered.

"So is that a yes?"

"Let's go out a couple of times and see how it goes?"

"How soon can I see you?" I asked.

"Can I see you tomorrow? Around 11:30 or something?"

"Sounds great." I said.

We got up and walked to the train station. I told him that it was
out of his way, but he insisted on walking me to the station.

When it was finally time for him to leave, I didn't know what to do.
Awkwardly, I put out my hand and we shook hands. We were in a public
place, I didn't know what else to do.

"See ya tomorrow." he said.

"I'll look forward to it." I replied.

I turned around to leave, but he placed his hand on my shoulder.
Turning back, he placed his other hand on my shoulder and brought
his face to mine.

I was shocked. It was a Saturday evening, and the station was full of
people. But there we stood, my hands on his waist, and his hands
on my shoulder, our foreheads pressing against each other.

"You look like you just died." he said, laughing.

I smiled and said, "I went to heaven."

And then he kissed me. It was a slow, sensual kiss. I felt his tongue,
but it was gentle and innocent. When he finally pulled back, we
smiled at each other and left without another word. Nothing more
needed to be said.

***

I was fifteen years old. Trafalgar Collegiate was a dream come true.
I was meeting tons of people, it was awesome. It felt so good that
if I wanted to hang out with friends, I only had to walk down the
street. I didn't have to take a damn train for half an hour.

Though I was getting close to lots of people at Trafalgar, my best
friend was still Dave. He was always my best friend. Ever since
Grade 3. He went to Victoria College too, but left after Grade
8. I always wondered that if Dave had stayed at Victoria through
Grade 9, I might not have transferred. It would've made my
decision to leave a lot more difficult.

Dave was always a great friend. He was outgoing, never afraid
of speaking out. But in some ways, he was very vulnerable.
In Grade 7, he was made fun of a lot, really for no reason.
He was a random target, but for some reason, the same few
people picked on him. Never physically, but they just
taunted him, calling him a fag, though none of them
knew what the word meant at the time. It was just one of
those words that had a 'bad' look to it, just like fuck
or bitch. No one really knew what it meant at the time.

I guess Dave conformed because he was picked on. He just
wanted to fit in, really. It seems logical now. Skateboarding
was 'in' when we were in Grade 7, so Dave took it on.
He bought a skateboard, a ramp, skater clothes, punk CDs,
the whole package. All of a sudden he was listening to Blink
and not Our Lady Peace anymore.

I never realized what was happening. Not for a moment did I
think that Dave was being bullied. From the way I saw it, the
other guys were just joking around with him. Dave wasn't the
type of person who would typically be bullied. He wasn't a
nerd, he wasn't a geeky ugly little kid. He was tall,
decent-looking, and definitely not a nerd. I never stood up
to the bullies even though Dave was being picked on.

Unsurprisingly, Dave left Victoria College after Grade 8,
and went to Richview High for high school. We committed to
being best friends. Everyone, including my parents, told
me that it would never last with him going to a different
school, but we did last. Even to this day, he is my
best friend, and I've never kept a secret from him. I came
out to him a week before high school started. He took it
surprisingly well.

As luck would have it, his parents found out about me. We
were talking on MSN about it a few weeks after I told him,
and he accidentally left the window open. His mom read
the whole thing, and being rather conservative, she insisted
that we never speak again. Not that she could keep us from
being friends. We met up secretly at least once a month.
Sometimes he had to bring his other friends with him so that
his parents wouldn't be suspicious. Not that I minded. His
friends were great, and I considered them my own friends too.

Dave was straight though. This was clear to me. His parents
had caught him looking at porn at least twice, and his
talk about girls and all those dirty little parts on girls
made it obvious. But he was fine with me being gay so long
as I didn't jump him, which I would never do. We'd been
friends for more than 7 years. He was more like a brother.

***

I've always wanted a boyfriend. I just wanted someone to cuddle
with, to kiss, and to share my life with. I wanted that feeling of
closeness that I thought all couples had. I thought about it every
day, not knowing if there would be anyone out there for me. I thought
about what I would do with my boyfriend, what I would say to him, but
it was pretty much all fantasy.

Until I met Andrew. I started losing hope, I thought I would never
find anyone. But then comes this knight in shining armour, breaking
the spell so that we could live happily ever after.

And God how he was cute. How could anyone resist that face? His
dark blond hair, his deep pale blue eyes, it was just so fucking
hot to me. It was so hard not to give in. How could such a beautiful
guy be interested in little ol' me?

After leaving that Saturday evening, I couldn't stop thinking about
him. He called me at night and we talked for hours.

"So what do you see in me anyway?" I asked.

"Hmm... Matt, when it comes to you, I love everything about you. Your
hair, your eyes, your blooming personality. And you've got a rockin'
ass!"

"A rockin' ass? And how is my hair so good?" I was confused.

"Yeah. Damn, when we were talking down Front Street, I couldn't stop
looking. Your ass really shows through those board shorts. And your
hair, it's not a typical asian haircut. I think those long bangs
that are popular in Asia are really ugly. You have a very All-American
style haircut. Almost like a crew cut, but with little spiky things. It
looks really good on you. And I like how you're not a skinny little
asian kid either. You're built for your age, you know that?"

"Thanks I guess."

"Matt... look before we get too far into this relationship thing...
I want to make sure you don't get any wrong ideas. Don't expect too
much from me. I'm a little scared about this, so don't think that I'm
a perfect guy and that everything will be perfect about us. Okay?"

"Don't worry about it," I said.

"You know..." I continued. "That was my first kiss today."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "You were a good kisser, Matt."

"Thanks. I liked it. So Andrew, what're we gonna do tomorrow?"

"You wanna go to my friend's apartment? It's at King and Spadina.
I'll bring some of my friends and we could play on the PS2. That okay?"

"I was thinkin' maybe it could be just us two." I said.

"Oh. Yeah, that sounds even better actually. I have the key to Steve's
apartment."

"He trusts you with a key?" I asked.

"Oh yeah. We've been friends for a long time. He's 25 though."

"Alright, sounds good."

"I'm so sleepy, it's 1 AM. I won't wake up in time to see you tomorrow
if I don't sleep soon." he said.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Okay, goodnight Matt."

"Goodnight."

After I hung up, I called Dave's cell. He picked up.

"Hello...?" he spoke.

"Hey Dave, it's Matt."

"Matt? It's like fuckin' 1 AM. What's up?"

"I met this guy..."

"Haha, are you serious?? Aw that's good news, man. I'm glad you
called."

"He's really sweet. I'm seein' him tomorrow too." I said.

"How old's he?"

"He's 19, but he's real nice."

"19? Seems a little old, don't you think?"

"Only 3 years older than us." I pointed out.

"Still there's a bit of an age difference. He's not just tryin' to
get in your pants, is he?"

"No, he's nothing like that." I said.

"I hope it works out then."

"I'm pretty sure it will." I said, confident.

"Is that all you wanted to tell me?" he asked.

"Yeah. I was just excited, that's all."

"I'm really happy for you, Matt. I know you've wanted a boyfriend for
a long time. Hell, I remember you told me that you've wanted one
since you were like 10."

"It's been 6 years."

"Yeah. Good luck with this guy. Remember, first love leaves the biggest
mark."

"Yeah. I'm glad. This guy's perfect for me."

I had no doubt about that.

***

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