Date: Wed, 25 Aug 1999 19:31:59 PDT
From: Chip Dyp <chipdyp@hotmail.com>
Subject: I'm Gay

	The following program contains material suited for a mature
audience.  If you are not over 18 you should be leaving now.  Of course I
can't control you and neither can anyone else really.  This story is
entirely false except for the true parts.  And now for our feature
presentation.  Viewer Discretion is advised...

I'm Gay
by:  Chip Dyp  (chipdyp@hotmail.com)

	"Does it hurt?"

	"A little," I said as I fought to control my voice.  It didn't hurt
a little - it hurt a lot.  I wasn't about to complain though.  Devin hadn't
complained earlier.

	I lay on my back looking at the ceiling of my parent's trailer, my
ankles on Devin's shoulders.  This wasn't what I was expecting.  I was
expecting symphonies, and more pleasure than I could handle.

	Devin leaned forward and brushed the hair out of my face, so he
could look me in the eyes.  "I need you to tell me if this is hurting
really badly, all right?  I love you, Chad, and I don't want to hurt you.
Does it hurt?"

	I nodded my head.  The pain left as Devin pulled out.  He wrapped
his arms around me and held onto me tightly.  "I want you to promise me
that if it hurts you'll tell me."

	"I'm sorry.  I thought I could handle it."

	"Hey, hey, hey.  No apologies," Devin said as he stroked my cheek,
"We've waited over a year to have sex, there's no big hurry."

	"Yeah, but you didn't say anything."

	"I didn't say anything because it didn't hurt too bad.  You spent a
lot of time loosening me up, remember?"

	"Yeah, but so did you."

	"I know, but it wasn't enough.  If you want to try a little later,
I'll spend a little more time stretching you out."

	"I'd like to try now, if you want to."

	"Only if you want to."

	"I do," I said as I rested my hand on Devin's heart.  I could feel
it beating slowly under my hand.  Devin and I had been going out for over a
year, ever since he had broken down and told me he was gay.  He had been so
scared that I'd reject him.  I could never reject him though.  I had loved
him for more than three years now and he had been my best friend for almost
ten years before that.

	Of course, admitting to each other that we were gay hadn't improved
our sex lives.  Devin had to share a room with his older brother, I had to
share with my younger brother.  Neither of us had any real privacy.  We had
to be content with stolen kisses, and casual gropes whenever we could sneak
them in.

	This weekend was supposed to be different though.  I had managed to
prove to my parents that I was responsible enough to be trusted with the
trailer.  Devin and I had planned this weekend for almost a month.  Our
first chance to be intimate - our first chance to have sex.

	Devin kissed me on the forehead and then rolled over so he was
kneeling beside me on the bed.  "Lift your legs up beautiful.  I want to
make sure I do this right."

	I lifted my legs off the bed and watched as Devin moved into
position.  I felt his finger as it grazed the sensitive skin between my
balls and my hole.  I shivered and smiled at Devin.

	"Liked that, did you?"  Devin asked as he gently rubbed that piece
of skin again, "I'll have to remember that."

	I watched Devin open the tube of KY jelly that we had bought at the
drug store before leaving the city.  I knew what was coming as he got ready
to rub a fingerful of the cool gel on my almost virgin hole.  I closed my
eyes tight, and tensed up.  When I didn't feel anything I opened my eyes
and relaxed for a second.  It was that moment when Devin chose to push his
slick finger up my tight chute.

	"You've got to relax, Chad," Devin said softly as he wiggled his
finger around inside me, "Try to think about something else."

	"Like what?"

	"Like telling your parents that you are gay."

	"Right, if you think that telling our parents is such a good idea,
why don't you tell yours?"

	"I'm going to when I get home.  I love you, Chad, and I don't want
to hide that from my parents anymore."

	"Are you serious?"  I asked, totally forgetting about what Devin
was doing until he hit my prostate.  I closed my eyes and my mouth opened
as I realized why anal sex was so desirable.

	"Very serious," Devin replied as he continued rubbing my prostate,
"I told Sean about us before we left."

	My eyes snapped open and I stared up at Devin.  "You told your
older brother about us?  Why?  Oh God, what if he tells my parents.  How
could you do this to me?"

	"I did it because I wanted to be able to tell someone that I love
you."

	"That's not a good enough reason," I said as I sat up on the bed,
"Why didn't you ask me first?"

	"Because you'd say no."

	"So you did it anyway."

	"I needed to talk to someone, anyone, about being gay.  I am tired
of hiding my true self from my parents, from my family.  I finally told
Sean because I thought he could handle it best.  You know Sean.  He
wouldn't do anything to hurt us.  He's lied to both our parents when we
were kids to keep us from getting into too much trouble," Devin stood up
and walked over to the small couch facing the bed, "I was hoping I could
make you understand why I did what I did."

	"Devin, you didn't just out yourself, you outed me to your brother
as well.  What's next, you going to get the principal to make an
announcement to the whole school?  Did you ever think that I might not be
ready to stand up to people over my sexuality?"

	"I thought..."

	"No," I shouted as I stood up, "You didn't think and that's the
problem.  You thought that what's good for you, has to be good for me."

	"I'm sorry, Chad," Devin said as he moved to caress my face.  I
turned my back to him and struggled to hold back my tears.  I could feel
Devin's presence behind me as he stood there for what seemed like days
before he softly whispered, "Look, I'm just going to go."

	I turned around in time to see Devin's eyes cloud up as he moved
away from me.  I heard a small sob escape from him as he retreated to the
other side of the small trailer.  He started pulling on his pants and a
t-shirt while I sat down on the bed, not knowing what to say.  What finally
managed to escape my lips sounded more like a croak than intelligible human
speech.  "Where are you going to go?  We are three hours from home."

	"I'll just hitch a ride home," Devin said as he struggled to pull
on his socks.

	I stood up and walked across the trailer to where Devin was
sitting.  I kneeled down on the floor before him so I could look him in the
eyes.  "Don't go."

	"I have to," Devin said as he let his hands fall into his lap,
"I've fucked things up between us.  You're right, I didn't think things
through.  I could've just told Sean about me, but I told him about us.  You
mean so much to me, Chad.  I knew that losing my brother was a possibility
when I told him, I didn't think I'd lose you."

	"But you did it anyway," I said softly as I leaned back on my feet.

	"Yeah, I knew deep down that if I didn't tell him, I'd burst.  I
needed someone to tell, someone to talk to.  It was the right thing to do,
but I did it wrong.  I shouldn't have told him about you."

	I sat on my feet and looked deep into Devin's eyes.  Devin had made
a tough choice.  He was willing to suffer the consequences.  Deep down, I
knew he was right.  We would eventually have to tell our parents, I just
didn't know if I was ready for that moment.

	"How did Sean take it?"

	"He took it really well.  He gave me a big hug, and told me that he
was proud of me.  He wanted to talk to you too, but I told him that it
could wait until after this weekend," Devin said as his fingers twitched
minutely.  He paused for a few seconds then placed his head into his hand
and whispered, "But I guess that won't happen, now.  I'm sorry, Chad."

	I looked down at the floor of the trailer and thought about all the
times I had spent with Devin.  He was not only my boyfriend and lover, but
my best friend as well.  I was still mad at him for telling his brother
about me and him, but he was right.  I had two options, and it didn't take
me long to make my choice.  I looked back into Devin's eyes and smiled at
him.  "When we get back to town, I want you to come with me when I tell my
parents that I'm gay."

	"Are you serious?"  Devin asked as he wiped his eyes.

	"Very serious.  But, right now, I want you come back to bed with
me.  I think I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be."

	"But..."

	"But what?" I asked as I placed my hand on the side of his face.

	"Are you still mad at me?"

	"Yes, a little, but nothing has changed between us.  Well, the way
I feel about you hasn't changed," I kissed Devin's hand, and then looked up
at him with puppy dog eyes.  "Don't you still love me?"

	"Definitely," Devin said as he took my hands and helped me up.  He
wrapped me in a big hug and sniffled before he took my hand once again.
"Come on, I still owe you something."

	"Yes you do."  I walked over to the bed and lay down on the covers.
I watched as Devin pulled off his clothes.  He was so beautiful. I smiled
as he walked over to the bed and gave me a kiss.

	"Let's try something different," Devin said as he began kissing and
nipping my chest.

	"All right, what did you want to try?"

	"I'll lie down and you just lower yourself onto my cock.  That way,
you'll control the pace."

	"'Kay."

	I sat up and let Devin lie back on the bed.  His cock wasn't quite
fully erect, but it didn't take me long to fix that small problem.  I
squirted a big gob of the cool lubricant into my hand and rubbed it into
Devin's organ.  I grinned as a little squirt of precum oozed out the tip.
I knew he was ready.  I squatted over his chest and felt around behind me
for his cock.  I placed it against my hole and tried to relax.  I felt the
head of the cock force open the muscle, but this time there was only a
little pain.  Taking a deep breath I lowered myself a little more and
accepted more of Devin's hot cock.

	"Are you all right?"  Devin asked as he moved to support me with
his hands.

	"I'm fine," I said through gritted teeth.  I took a deep breath and
sat down, taking all of Devin's cock in one quick stroke.

	The minute Devin was completely buried in me, I wanted to stand up
and scream.  Devin sat up quickly and held onto me tightly.  "Now that
wasn't very smart.  You could've hurt yourself."

	"I had to do it.  I don't think I'm ready for anything else right
now.  Can you just hold me?"

	Devin nodded his head and kissed me.  We kissed passionately while
we waited for me to relax.  After what seemed like hours, I felt like I
could continue.  Devin held onto me tightly and with my help, we rolled so
I was on the bottom again.  He looked into my eyes and gently pulled his
still stiff cock out of me and then thrust his hips.  I felt the tip of his
cock as it caromed off my prostate.  I was in heaven.  I moaned and arched
my back, trying to rub my prostate against his cock.

	Devin continued thrusting, gently at first, but as he neared his
climax he started pounding it into me with wild abandon.  I groaned and
started stroking my cock, trying to cum with my love.  Devin let out a loud
groan and thrust deeply into me.  He stopped moving and lied down on top of
me.  One final stroke of my hand caused my cock to spasm and give up its
load.  I gasped and lay back on the old cushions that made up the bed.

	Devin rubbed his knuckles against the side of my face and placed
his head on my chest.  "That was beautiful."

	"Yeah," I said as I took a deep breath, "I want to do that again."

	"I don't think I can do it again, at least not for a bit anyway."

	I smiled and mussed up Devin's hair.  "I meant when we get home."

	"It would be nice to be able to do it at home."

	Devin smiled at me and yawned.  "I don't know about you, but I'm
kinda sleepy."

	"So am I."

	"Lift your legs, and I'll clean you up before we go to sleep."

	"'Kay."

	I lifted my legs and Devin wiped the excess lube and cum away.  He
tossed the towel to the floor and lay down behind me.  He draped his arm
over me and kissed the top of my head.

	"I love you, Chad."

	"I love you, Devin."

	I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

	When I woke up the next morning, I realized that I was in bed with
the man I loved.  I rolled in his arms and kissed him on the nose.  Devin's
eyes fluttered open and when he saw me, he smiled.  I leaned in and kissed
him once more.

	"Come on beautiful.  We need to have a shower and then get ready to
head back," Devin said as he rubbed my back.

	"Do we have to?"

	"Uh huh."

	I crawled out of the bed and offered my hand to Devin.  He rolled
out of bed and then stood in front of me.  "You are really beautiful."

	"So are you."

	We both dressed and grabbed our shaving kits.  We walked the 300
feet to the public showers and were pleasantly surprised when we found they
were empty.  I wanted to crawl into the shower with him, but discretion won
out over our hormones and we took solo showers.  When we finished cleaning
up, we walked back to the trailer and cleaned up our site.  We hadn't done
a lot, except set up the trailer, but I wanted to be sure that we left
things as they were.

	It didn't take us long to hook up the trailer, and then we were on
our way back into town.  Devin sat as close to me as possible, his hand on
my thigh.  The three hours passed quickly, and almost without warning we
were home.  I backed the trailer into the driveway with Devin's help, and
then shut off the car.  I unhitched the trailer and then parked the car on
the street in front of the house.  I sat in the driver's seat as I composed
myself.  It was time.  I opened the door and walked over to where Devin was
waiting for me on the driveway.  He smiled at me and we walked into the
house together.

	"Mom?  Dad?  We're home."

	"We're in the family room, Chad," I heard my Dad call out.

	We walked through the house to the family room.  My mom and dad
sitting on the couch watching TV.  I paused for a second, trying to think
of the best way to break the news to them.  I decided the direct approach
was best.  "Mom, dad, I have something to tell you."

	"What is it, Chad?"  My mom asked as she and dad looked over at
Devin and I.

	I took Devin's hand into my own and looked at him for support.  He
smiled at me and I looked back at my parents.  "I'm gay."

June 1999
2859

My web site is located at http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Atrium/2898.