Date: Tue, 19 Apr 2011 01:16:40 -0500
From: John Perkins <john@huberthost.com>
Subject: Imperfection Chapter 4

Imperfection
by John K. Perkins Jr.
Always open to comments/criticism (constructive/otherwise)
Email me! john@huberthost.com
Or add me on MSN! john@huberthost.com

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Ch. 4: Of Love, Sex, and Cigarettes
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Aiden kissed me back that night. One thing progressed to another, and we
ended up making love. Slow, sweet, gentle love. And it was everything I
could've ever hoped for. I gave my virginity, and everything I was, to the
boy I loved.

I don't think a word was said, either. But neither of us needed to
speak. Our actions spoke well enough.

After what seemed like a happy eternity shoved into the mere timespan of
two short hours, we had finally exhausted ourselves. I fell asleep in his
arms. I slept better that night than I've ever slept in my life.


I woke up the next morning, and, since Aiden was still asleep, I snuck out
of bed, covered my love back up, kissed him gently on the forehead, and
snuck outside for a quick smoke.

Aiden always gave me shit for smoking. He would always say, "Wes, you
moron, you know you're killing yourself, right?" in a tone of voice that
was half concerned, half joking. I would respond, "Aiden, you moron, you
know I'm going to die anyway, right?" and the conversation would come to an
end. I always saw a certain level of concern in his eyes whenever it came
up, though.

As I lit the cigarette, and took a few drags, I mulled over what had just
happened the night before. Wondered what it meant. Wondered if this meant
he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

I would probably soon find out.


After about 2 minutes, I heard the door open behind me. I turned around and
smilied sweetly at my angel, and said, "Good morning, sleepyhead."

"Morning." he mumbled.

"What's wrong?"

"Wes, um, can we talk?"

"Of course," I said, trying to act like I wasn't nervous. In reality, I was
paralyzed with fear. I knew exactly what was going on.

"Look," he started, "I don't know what happened last night... It was great,
and all, but...

I'm not..." he struggled, "I'm not gay!"


I knew it was coming, but it still struck my heart like a knife. Cold, and
unforgiving.

Everything after that happened in a blur. I tried to talk, but no words
would come out, and I remember crying harder than I've ever cried in my
life.

"Wes! Come on, man... I'm sorry..."

But it was no use. I was heartbroken. Through the tears, I managed to get
up, put my cigarette out, go inside my house, lock the door, and find my
way to my bed.

I collapsed when I got there. I cried more tears that day than I've ever
cried. The pain was unbearable.

And then it happened. Sleep. Merciful sleep. Taking me away... Away from
all the pain, away from the tears. Away from Aiden.

I slept for quite some time. I don't know if it was three hours, or six. I
happened to wake up to pounding on my bedroom door.


"WESLEY AARON MICHAELS!!" My full name. I hated my full name. No one ever
used my full name.

I recognized the voice that was saying it. It was Aiden's. "Wesley, please,
open this damned door, or I'm going to knock it down myself!"

"Go ahead and knock it down, then." I heard myself say. But I didn't
recognize my voice. It sounded different... cold.

"Please, Wes! I've been trying to get ahold of you for the last four hours!
I need to talk to you!" he said, pleading.

I don't know why, but I decided to open it. Maybe it was because I loved
him more than life.

Or maybe it was the sorrow I heard in his voice. I'll never know for sure.

I opened the door, and I was immediately met with a hug. His arms felt so
warm and safe, and for just that moment, everything was right with the
world. Nothing else mattered, because I was in the arms of my love, my
Aiden.


"I'm so, so sorry, Wes... So sorry."