Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2008 16:45:28 -0500
From: Morris Henderson <bigmoh@post.com>
Subject: a_rocky_road_chapter_2

A ROCKY ROAD

CHAPTER TWO

Jeff was unloading the trunk of his car as TJ and Neil
approached along the sidewalk.  TJ could see only his
back but was immediately impressed with the muscular
teen.  He was the image of masculinity.  His hiking
boots, cut-off jeans, and a tight tee-shirt heightened
his virile appearance.

"Jeff!" Neil called out and rushed toward his brother
who dropped his backpack on the driveway, turned
around, and flashed a wide grin as he saw his older
brother.  TJ then caught sight of Jeff's face, a
perfect blend of youth and manliness that was
captivating.  He was almost six inches shorter than
Neil and at least 20 pounds of muscle heavier but the
family resemblance was unmistakable.

The siblings hugged briefly while TJ stood watching.
He was envious of the uninhibited show of affection,
which was, until he met Neil, sadly missing from his
life.  The two Bailey boys talked, joked, and laughed
for a little while as TJ stood silently admiring
Jeff's exceptionally good looks and magnificent body.
His eyes fell to the prominent bulge in his cut-off
jeans, causing a stir in his own crotch.

He was shaken out of his admiration when he heard Neil
say, "Jeff, I want you to meet TJ."

TJ stepped forward to accept a firm handshake and
hear, "I'm glad to meet you, TJ.  Neil has told me
what a great guy you are.  So what do you think of
Oklahoma?"

"So far, I'm impressed.  Of course, I've only been
here one day but I'm looking forward to seeing more of
this part of the country."

"Different from Virginia, isn't it?  I was in Virginia
two years ago at the Scout Jamboree.  Unfortunately, I
didn't get to see much of the area; we only had time
for the Jamboree."

"I remember reading about that," TJ replied.  "I
understand the heat wave caused a lot of problems."

"Yeah.  But on the whole it was awesome.  Say, can I
get some help carrying my stuff in the house?"

The teens gathered up all of the gear, stashed some of
it in the garage, and went inside where the returning
adventurer was greeted with welcoming hugs from his
parents.

"Your timing is perfect," Mrs. Bailey said.  "Dinner
will be ready in about twenty minutes.

"Time enough for a shower," Jeff said before lugging
his backpack upstairs.

TJ couldn't help imagining Jeff stripping off his
clothes in the bathroom, standing naked while
adjusting the temperature of the water, and washing
every part of his admirable body, including his
private parts.  But then, he mentally chastised
himself.  Wasn't that disloyal to the one he loved, he
wondered.  No, he concluded.  After all, when he had
commented to Neil about the attractive man in the
Metro station, his partner objected only to voicing
the comment ... not to admiring the stranger.  Still,
Jeff had so captured his attention that he was finding
it difficult to avoid visualizing him nude.

Just as Mrs. Bailey finished setting the table, Jeff
reappeared, wearing chino slacks and an Oxford shirt.
He was just as handsome as he had been in the far more
revealing camp clothing.  TJ carelessly forgot how
perceptive his lover was.  The frequency of his
telling glances at the new arrival began to worry
Neil.

The dinner conversation was lively and cordial but,
unlike in the previous evening's meal, did not
actively engage TJ who did little more than eat,
listen, and admire Jeff.  Following the meal, the
adults left the three teens alone to get acquainted
without the "chaperone" effect of parental
supervision.

The boys decided to adjourn to the patio, sip their
iced tea, and enjoy the evening breeze.  Although TJ
tried to control his eyes and his thoughts, he was
paying attention to Jeff in a way that exceeded polite
interest in his host's brother.  Neil was becoming
increasingly irritated by what he thought were TJ's
lustful glances.

After nearly two hours of conversation, Jeff said, "I
didn't get a lot of sleep at camp, which is typical
when overseeing a bunch of young kids.  And I have to
get up at six for work.  Do you mind if I turn in
early?"

"Of course not," Neil replied.  "You don't need our
permission.  You live here!"

TJ watched Jeff walk into the house, oblivious to
Neil's frown and mesmerized by Jeff's gait that seemed
to emphasize his firm butt cheeks.  Neil's mood soured
almost to the point of anger.

When they were alone, TJ asked his partner, "Jeff has
a job?"

"Yes," Neil replied curtly.

TJ was surprised at Neil's brusque reply but asked,
"What kind of job?"

"A summer job for a landscaping company," Neil said,
barely concealing his agitation.  "He has odd hours.
Sometimes he gets off at three but sometimes he has to
work until seven."

TJ was confused by his partner's apparent irritation.
Attempting to engage him, he commented, "That must be
hard ... the labor and the hours, I mean."

"He loves the outdoors and says the physical labor
keeps him in shape."

TJ thought about commenting on Jeff's physique but an
ill-formed feeling told him not to.

Dusk was descending.  A light from Mr. Bailey's office
indicated that he was busy there.  Sounds of the
television placed Mrs. Bailey in the family room.  The
two young lovers were alone but their conversation
slowed to a crawl and then silence.

TJ, now convinced that something was bothering his boy
friend, was about to inquire what was wrong but didn't
have the chance.  Neil, having decided to explore his
lover's evident interest in Jeff, asked, "So what do
you think of my brother?"

"He's nice," TJ replied.  It was a deliberately
ambiguous and noncommittal answer but he was still
worried about Neil's mood and, more significantly, he
was struggling with his attraction to his partner's
brother.

"Nice?  That's not like you," Neil almost barked.
"You usually give a more complete answer.  Remember
how you described your impression of Jerry when I
asked you what you thought of him?"

TJ grew nervous.  He was confident of his undiminished
love for Neil but hesitant to admit that he was
somewhat aroused by Jeff.  His reply therefore cited
several parts of their conversation that indicated
Jeff's maturity, dedication to scouting and scouts,
and cordiality but avoided any mention of his physical
appearance.

"Then you like him?" Neil asked, trying
(unsuccessfully) to sound conversational.

"Of course.  I like your whole family ... and
especially you!" TJ replied in an attempt to confirm
his devotion to his lover.

Several moments of silence ensued before Neil resumed
his quest for information.  "Handsome, isn't he?" he
asked as he sipped his drink and looked at the dying
glow of the sunset.

Neil's comment triggered an alarm in TJ's mind.  He
immediately recognized it as bait, engineered to
reveal his feelings toward Jeff.  His experience being
cross-examined by his father and his newly acquired
insight into Neil's thinking left no other conclusion.
He decided to confirm his conclusion, take a risk, and
be honest.  "You're wondering whether I find him
attractive, aren't you?"

Neil, only slightly surprised that his partner had
recognized the real intent of the question replied,
"Yes."

"Well, I do.  Based on first impressions only, I
admire his character and personality.  I also admire
his body.  We agreed some time ago that we had to be
totally honest with each other if our love is to
survive and grow.  So I confess!  I find him to be
extraordinarily attractive.  There was a time when I
would go to bed at night and jerk off while picturing
him naked beside me.  But that was before I met you,
fell in love with you.  Admiring Jeff -- or any other
man -- and a loving commitment to you are very
different.  Is it lust I feel when I look at Jeff?
Absolutely not!  Curiosity perhaps; admiration
certainly.  But I have everything I want in you.  I
love you, Neil Bailey!  And I want nothing more than
to be faithful to you and deserve your love for the
rest of my life."

Neil was struck by the sincerity and candor of his
partner's expression of love and suddenly felt guilty
for his jealousy.

"I'm sorry, TJ, sorry for doubting you.  It's just
that I noticed how you looked at him this evening."

"Oh my God!" TJ exclaimed.  "Was it that obvious?"

"I'm sure Jeff didn't notice.  He's blind to that sort
of thing.  I hope my parents didn't.  Perhaps it was
just me but your looking at him the way you did
brought back memories of losing my first boy friend.
I love you too much to lose you, too."

"I apologize for being careless in admiring Jeff.  I
promise to be more careful.  But, more than that, I'm
sorry about upsetting you.  I would never
intentionally hurt you.  Please forgive me!"

"If you will forgive me for doubting your love.  It's
just that ... well ... the mere thought of losing you
is painful."

It was close to midnight before the boys went in the
house.  Neil's parents had already gone to bed so they
proceeded quietly up the stairs and into Neil's
bedroom.  Repeating the previous night's ritual, TJ
closed the door and lavished kisses on his partner to
express his unshakable devotion.  Neil returned the
kisses with equal vigor and passion.


Over the next several days, the two teens played
tourist, spending their days at museums, the Bricktown
district, an amusement park, and more.  Evenings were
spent relaxing with the Bailey family, watching
television, or simply hanging out and talking.  TJ
enjoyed it all.  It seemed that he had been accepted
into the family already even though his relationship
with Neil was still secret.

TJ continued to admire Jeff but, true to his word, was
far more discrete in his glances.  Recalling his
lover's concern and sensitive to his feelings, he
frequently affirmed his love and devotion when they
were alone, which dispelled Neil's fear of losing TJ's
affection.


Half of the two-week stay in Norman had passed.  Neil
and TJ were again drinking iced tea on the patio as
darkness fell.  They had checked to be sure they were
alone.  The light was on in Mr. Bailey's office; the
sound of the television placed Mrs. Bailey in the
family room.  Both boys were happy to have time
together without the need for contrived excuses to see
each other back in Virginia.

But they got careless.  They had failed to notice that
the window in Mr. Bailey's office was open as their
conversation turned to their future life together.
Never suspecting that they could be overheard, they
explored the reactions of their families when they
revealed the nature of their relationship.  They came
to no firm conclusions about when and how to come out
except to agree that it would most likely have to
await Neil's graduation.

At half past ten, they returned to the house and went
upstairs.  As they walked down the hall to Neil's
bedroom, they passed Mr. Bailey standing in the
doorway of his office.

"Got a minute?" he asked offhandedly.  "I'd like to
talk to you.  Come in."

Somewhat surprised but not concerned, the teens walked
into the office.  Their curiosity was aroused when the
man closed the door and said, "Have a seat.  We need
to discuss something."

The boys sat on a sofa while Mr. Bailey sat on his
office chair facing them.

"First of all, let me assure you that I was not
intentionally intruding on your privacy.  But, as you
can see, the window is open.  Hearing parts of your
conversation was unavoidable."

Both boys turned their attention quickly from the
man's serious expression to the open window and then
immediately to each other as they recalled their
conversation and tried, unsuccessfully, to manage the
panic that rose like a wildfire in their minds.  There
was no escape!  Each of them looked to Neil's father
desperately searching for some clue in his expression
that would reveal what would come next.  But the man
gave no sign of anger.  That was a good.

"I won't deny that I was shocked at what I heard.  As
I listened -- yes, I admit to eavesdropping after
accidentally hearing the unbelievable -- I tried to
decide what to do with the information.  Eventually, I
concluded that I needed more information.  Is there
something you want to tell me?"

TJ just hung his head, trying desperately to control
or at least conceal his fear and panic.  He could feel
his heart pounding in his chest.  He felt a little
nauseous.  His face was flushed and he began to sweat.
His only thoughts were of a bleak future without the
man he loved.

Neil had a slightly firmer grasp of his emotions.  He
also feared the consequences of their careless
conversation and what his father might do.  However,
he was able, with difficulty, to respond to his
father's question.  Hesitantly, he said, "I don't know
how much you heard but it's obviously enough to know
TJ and I are gay.  What you may not know is the depth
of our love for each other.  It's not a `romp in the
sack' kind of affair.  I love TJ for his character,
his values, his personality, his ambitions and goals.
I don't know why he loves me but he does.  We're
committed to live together as partners.  I love my
family and it pains me to think that you will be hurt
but the undeniable fact is: I'm gay.  TJ is gay.  We
want to spend our lives together.  I'm sorry you had
to find out this way.  We wanted to break the news to
you more easily ... if there would ever be an easier
way or time to tell you."

The man's expressionless face was more troublesome
than if he had shown anger, sadness, or some other
clue as to what he was thinking.

"I hear the conviction in your voice, son.  But I'm
not convinced.  I'm sure you believe you're in love.
I'm not ready or willing to believe it.  You're young;
TJ is younger.  You're both bright and mature for your
ages but I have to question your ability to make a
decision like this.  Have you thoroughly thought
through the consequences of the choice you're making?"

"Yes.  First, let me say that my being gay is not a
choice; it's what I am.  I've known it for years.
It's not a casual choice that I made.  I can assure
you that TJ feels the same way.  The only `choice' we
have made is that eventually we will live together
openly as a gay couple.  We both recognize that we'll
be subjected to prejudice and even persecution.  We're
willing to endure that.  We are acutely aware of the
effect this might have on our families.  We can only
hope that you will understand that our happiness
depends on our being together as partners.  We're
hoping that you will want us to be happy more than
having to live a dismal life of denying what we are
and what we want."

"The fact remains that you are young -- young men
perhaps but not yet men.  Your decisions and actions
now can have serious repercussions.  Yes, I want you
to be happy but I'm afraid a gay lifestyle is not the
route to happiness."

"Perhaps not.  But being gay and being forced to live
straight is the route to unhappiness.  More
importantly, living without TJ is a guarantee of
unhappiness.  I love him, Dad.  And he loves me.
Together, we can endure the hardships and find
happiness."

"Again, I hear the conviction in what you say.  But
I'd like to hear from TJ."

TJ, having had time to quell his fear and compose
himself, confidently said, "Everything that Neil has
said is true, sir.  I'm gay.  I love your son more
than I ever thought possible.  He's brought me joy
beyond description.  He's considerate and
compassionate.  He's bright ... no, I'd say he's wise.
When we're together, it's delightful.  When we're
apart, I ache to see him.  That may sound trite and
corny but it's the only way I know to describe the
depth of my love for your son.  He's told you that we
have considered the consequences of living together.
It's true.  It's also true that we both agree that we
can't bear to be without each other."

Neil's father sat quietly, analyzing what he had
heard, while the two teens waited impatiently for his
reaction, whatever that might be.

After a long silence that the lovers could only suffer
through, the man said, "There's an important practical
issue I must raise.  Neil, you're eighteen.  TJ,
you're sixteen.  The age of consent in Oklahoma is
sixteen.  I don't know what it is in Virginia but it's
probably eighteen.  If you have been intimate, which
would not be surprising, I don't want to know about
it.  But any sexual activity you may have had or may
have in Virginia could be a felony.  If tried and
convicted, son, you would face some very hard time in
prison, defeating your wish to live together.  Have
you considered that?"

"Yes, which is a major reason why we've chosen to keep
our relationship a secret for at least two years."

TJ added, "Being gay is not a crime, sir.  Prosecution
requires a complainant alleging that illegal sexual
activity occurred.  Moreover, conviction is impossible
without credible testimony from the victim or a
witness to the alleged behavior.  Any sex that we may
have had or may yet have cannot be proven because I
will never complain and will deny that any
inappropriate behavior happened.  Therefore, charges
will not be brought.  I realize that you have only my
word but, believe me, I would rather die than hurt
Neil."

Mr. Bailey was taken aback by the sincerity and logic
of TJ's argument.  After a moment's reflection, he
said, "I'm sure you mean that, young man.  But I still
have to caution you both that the future is
unpredictable.  One or both of you might change your
mind.  I urge you to consider the possibility of a
falling out, hard feelings, and revenge.  Even the
accusation of illegal behavior can be devastating."

Neil responded, "The chance of that is vanishingly
small and is a risk we're both willing to take."

Mr. Bailey, still expressionless except for a serious
demeanor, said, "Now there's just one more thing to
discuss.  I think your mother has a right to know.  Do
you want to tell her or shall I?"

Without hesitating, Neil responded, "We'll tell her.
She should hear it from us."

"I knew that would be your answer and I think it is
the best choice.  Now how about Jeff?"

"That's a difficult situation, dad.  He's so straight
laced that he may hate both TJ and I as degenerate
sinners.  I've agonized over that.  I love him and
would hate to alienate him but it's a price I'm
willing to pay.  He'll find out sooner or later so
we'll tell him, too.  It would be even worse if he's
the last in the family to know."

"I agree.  I'll leave it up to you two to pick the
time and place but I strongly encourage you not to
delay too long.  I'll let you go now."

"Before we go, dad, we've answered your questions and
I'd like to ask you one."

"Go ahead."

"How do you really feel about having a gay son and,
for that matter, a gay son-in-law?"

"Right now, I'm still trying to assimilate the news.
I need more time to think about it.  I was initially
shocked because I didn't expect it.  The shock turned
to disappointment.  Not because you're gay but because
I know it will create a multitude of problems for you
... for you both.  Do I approve?  I don't know yet.
Give me some time to think it through.  Okay?"

"Thanks, dad.  I love you."

"I'd like to add my thanks, sir," TJ said.  "I wish I
could expect the same understanding from my father
when we tell him."

 "That's just one of many problems you're going to
have to deal with.  And if that was a subtle request
that I not tell him before you do, your secret is
safe."

"It wasn't but thank you again."

The two lovers left Mr. Bailey to digest the
unexpected revelation.  In Neil's bedroom, they re-
affirmed their commitment to live together as
partners, sealing their vow with meaningful kisses.
Once in bed, neither of them was in the mood for sex.
They had too much to discuss.  Neil's father's
ultimate opinion of their love and choice of life
style was still unknown.  They could only speculate on
how Neil's mother and brother would react to the news
and but eventually, they agreed on a strategy for
telling them.

To be continued.