Date: Sun, 19 Apr 2009 15:09:28 -0400 From: John Elash <phantomscorpio77@gmail.com> Subject: gay / high school - In the Shadows of Our Lives : On Broken Wings 4 In the Shadows of Our Lives Part 1 - On Broken Wings IV ~ New Passion ~ So here I am, naked except for a pair of ankle socks with Chris in one of his bedrooms. One of his bedrooms! Shit, his so called apartment in his home is probably about as big as the main floor of the house I share with my Mom and three sisters. I look at the Speedo and swimmer's jock that Chris has just handed me. Why would I need both I'm wondering, but am not about to look stupid by asking. Plus I just shared mutual blow jobs with him. I'm feeling self conscious standing naked before Chris with my boner still reaching for the sky, and my stomach is queasy because of what I've just done with him, but as I start to step into the jock all I can think of is why bother with modesty now? I'm taking in Chris's full body for the first time. His face is cute. When dressed he's cute, when naked he is hot! He has the slightest chest, but his abs are impressive. There not thick and bulging like Tim's are, instead they are lean and the definition is clearly visible. His cheeks are red, just like I can feel mine are, so I'm guessing that he feels the same way as me. Well, what's done is done. No going back now. I almost exclusively stick to boxer briefs, so once I have the Speedo on I still feel fully naked. So instead of feeling totally uncomfortable I find my voice enough to break the awkward silence and ask Chris, "Hey. These are pretty hot and feel kinda sexy and stuff, but can I maybe try the shorts you mentioned before?" My voice cracked, but Chris made no recognition of my embarrassment. "Yeah sure. You feel exposed in those, right? Why don't you put the shorts on over those and then you can pull them off in the water if you like. Still try the Speedo. If you've never swam in a Speedo before then you'll love the freedom." Chris is still naked in front of his swimwear drawer rummaging for something when I ask, so he walks over to another dresser and pulls out a red pair of lifeguard shorts with the liner cut out and hands them to me. As I slip the shorts on he finds what he was looking for I guess and pulls out a baby blue swimmers jock and a different American themed Speedo than the one I have on. I can't help but stare as he slips them on, he is a cutie and despite the lack of hair his body is more mature than I've seen fully naked in my presence in my life. But hey, to be honest Daniel is my only point of reference aside from the porn I've seen over the net. "Stop staring Sexy, you'll give a guy a complex!" Chris says through a (nervous?) laugh. While watching out of the corners of my eyes how he positions himself in the jock and then Speedo I figure out the best way to adjust myself so that my boner isn't uncomfortable, because it sure is noticeable. I gush, "You're hot, Chris. I mean it, seriously. I still can't figure why you want me. Not that I'm complaining." Our conversation is pretty choppy with long silences between the few words we exchange. Chris is dressed and tossing me a towel when he replies, "You're a hottie too, Jon. Maybe you need a mirror or something, you're too modest." "You think so?" I ask, not meaning to really say it aloud, recalling that Michael used to always tell me that before he thought I was gay. I don't want spoil the moment thinking about that homophobic ass. "Yes. To both!" He answers. We head out of his room and I follow him down the same hallway and stairs that he led me up. We go down an extra set of stairs to a partial level that is not visible from the road and walk through a large games room with a pool table in the center and a bar along one wall with an amazing fireplace along the other. The back wall is almost completely glass and leads out below a wooden deck that runs two thirds the length of the back of the house and wraps around the right corner. The deck above us leads down to a richly landscaped patio which I'm now on. Stepping out from under the deck I must admit the sight from the road was mind blowing to me, and looking at the place from behind is just awe inspiring. "Yeah, I know, it's huge. The place is 5300 square feet, maybe three times the size of an average home. Like I said it's been in the family for generations and has grown a lot from what it started as. Alex thinks it's all too much really but I'm not going to complain. The pools just over there," Chris says, pointing to a brick enclosure that juts out from the back of the house where the deck overlooks it, flanking the patio we just walked across. O.K. Maybe it's only about 3 times the size of an average home. Well it's still unfathomably huge to me; its 5300 square feet is almost 10 times the size of my maybe 800 square foot home. As we pass a hot tub and a small addition to the pool building on the way to the pool, I ask, "Who's Alex?" After Chris points out that the building has a sauna and a washroom as well as his and hers change rooms he answers, "Alex is my sister." "Older or younger?" I inquire. "A year and a half older. I used to get reminded so many times when I was younger that I'll never dare forget the extra half a year. Yeah, she's made that a knee jerk reaction in me." Chris answers. The pool is nothing less than stunning. I'm quite blown away. Jealous too, but more so maybe embarrassed that I don't stack up to this lifestyle at all. Sort of a real life Prince and Pilgrim scenario I think to myself. How long can anything last between us? We're from totally different worlds. Really! While I'm staring in an attempt to take it all in Chris catches me off guard and pushes me into the pool from behind. The water is a bit warm for my liking but it sure is refreshing. Chris momentarily disappears when I am regaining my senses and he pops up from behind a pool bar with two cans of soda. "I figured you wouldn't want anything more than this before work, but I do have almost anything here if you want it. The basics anyhow, scotch, gin, rum, vodka, beer." He mentions as a matter of fact. After setting the cans on the side of the in-ground pool he takes a few steps back and then runs into a dolphin dive. When he rips into the water he hardly makes a splash. I'm impressed. I figure he must be a great swimmer so once he resurfaces I ask, "So what are you, like an Olympic swimmer or something?" "No, I wish. That was my goal when I was younger, but I guess money can't make me good enough. I made it to States, but didn't qualify for Nationals. It's funny; I was faster 2 years ago than the times I put up last year and I kept getting slower. That was in January last year, and I haven't really trained since then. I guess it's the end of the road for me. I'll be watching the Olympics this summer from my T.V. here unless I can get my parents to let me go to Oz." Chris explains, but not with any sadness to his voice. "You don't seem too upset." I comment. He rationalizes, "Oh, I was. But what can I do? Second in the city, thirteenth in the state, no clue as to where in the hundreds or thousands I may have ranked in the country. I'm a dreamer, but I'm not stupid. The ride's over except for intramural varsity water polo maybe. I'll live." I give him a quick hug, "Well I'm sorry all the same." "Thanks, Sexy." Chris whispers in my ear as he pulls at the drawstring on the shorts I'm wearing. I put a hand down on his to stop him but he's quick! My shorts are below my crotch in an instant and he dropping down in the water to slip them down to my ankles. I'm not going to win this one so while he's fighting under water to get the shorts free I retie the drawstring on the Speedo because I am softer and leaning slightly to the left now. It does feel a bit exhilarating, like when I go au natural in my own pool late at night, and yet wearing a swimming jock and a Speedo is unbelievably erotic to me too. Even more so because they have covered the crotch and ass of this hottie that has a thing for me! As he rises from the water I am greeted with his beaming smile. I can't help it, I smile back despite myself. Chris leans in and plants a passionate kiss on my lips and then runs his tongue along my neck line and up to my ear. My woody is stiffening instantly. I let out a gasp. Holy Shit! I did not know that a guys tongue on my ear could make my dick get this hard! I start trembling in his arms. Realizing that he is rather forward he apologizes, "Sorry, Sexy. I just wanted to get you more comfortable. I'm never this bold, honestly. Well, except for now with you I guess. I just might never get another chance at a guy like you. I'm probably scaring you off, right?" "No, but I sure wouldn't object to slowing things down a bit. Otherwise were going to be humping right here in your pool." I joke. "Um, no. Never tried it but I did try something alone in the hot tub once. Not a good scene, take my word for it. And my friend Gerry tried it once at the aquatic center with his boyfriend Greg. I'll just say that he says only certain things should defy the one way rule and water is not one of them. It was totally clean but he says the water made it hurt like hell!" I stare blankly at him. I mean sure, I have a shall-we-say `healthy' imagination, but I never thought of that. Sex in the water? Cool! Yeah, my shock is obvious. "There I go again, scaring you off." Chris worries. I'm nervous so I ramble, "No, not really. I mean this is too much, but I'm not complaining. It's kinda fun. But how about we just talk for a bit? I'll be straightforward with you Chris. I've only ever done it three times. That's it. I did it twice and had it once. And all with one guy. So I'm still new to all of this. Even talking about it really. Daniel and I never talked about it much. We just did it and kinda avoided the awkward talk about it. I hope that's O.K. with you. I'm probably no good and you are probably so good that it won't be fair to you and you won't ever want to do it with me again." "Are we going to do it?" Chris asks in surprise. "Isn't that what you want?" I ask. "Well yeah, eventually. Whenever you're ready Jon." "Yeah right, you want it now. I think I do too, and I don't want to chicken out. But you have to be real nice and stuff to me O.K. Like I said, I'm inexperienced and suck at it." "You want to have sex right now? With me?" His smile is a mile wide again. Why is he making this so difficult? My heart is pounding, I'm telling him what I deeply desire but still feel uneasy with, and even more so the courage to say so is about to run off on me. I'm not going to say it again! If he doesn't get my offer then to hell with him! I want to get out of here right now; I want to have sex with him despite myself and my cautions and he is being so incredibly dense. What am I saying that he can't understand? Am I talking is some foreign language? I put my hand down to his crotch and reach my hand around his flaccid bulge. It concerns me that I am hard as a rock and he isn't. Am I getting the wrong messages here? Maybe he really doesn't want to have sex with me after all. Maybe he's gotten my hints and decided that I'm not good enough or something. I try a couple times to clear the lump in my throat, "Yeah with you, right now if you want to. I've kinda wanted a dick in me ever since it first happened. Normally I'd deny this, especially to myself, but it's true. And you are so fucking beautiful I want to have you, I want to have you get happy inside me." "Well then why don't we get out and dry off and go to my room again? Turn the lights off and hold each other and maybe get comfortable with each other so that we can do it. Or maybe just do it if you want to go right at it. I don't want to talk anymore about it either or I'm going to get scared off too, but I want you to promise me that we'll still talk after. My last couple of boyfriends have completely avoided me after they shot their loads in me and it hurts so much that they just used me as a cum rag." Chris suggests. "No, not just yet." I stall for a little time, "I mean yeah, I want to, but well, can we go to your room and just talk for a bit?" "Of course, yeah, sure," he acknowledges, then asks, "What time do you have to be at work at?" "4:30. I'm the last one on today," I inform. Referring to the Speedo I am down to he suggests, "Cool. So we have some time. Why don't you do a lap first, though. You said it feels sexy, try and see how it feels to swim in it!" Instead of saying anything I take off and head for the end and back. It does feel real neat when I focus on the feeling. Chris is behind me and as I near the far end he spreads my legs and tickles my crotch. He does an underwater turn and pushes off the wall and is gone before I can even really gain my senses and turn around to see where he was. The pool has to be 20 yards long and he swims the whole length back under water. When he pops his head above the surface I start my way back. I lose track of where he is until nearing the edge I feel his hand again on my crotch from below. It startles me and I kick wildly, hitting him somewhere. He comes up laughing and chocking on water. Serves him right! I mock slap him, calling him a jerk and he ducks my swing. Grabbing my outreached arm he twists me around and pulls me towards him so that my dick is right in his cheeks. He softly moans as he wraps my arms around him and grinds his butt into my crotch. Arching his back he turns his neck and reaches to kiss me. I fumble, but angle my neck so that we can make out. Releasing my embrace Chris turns and we're now making out face to face. His fingers on his one hand are again roving down my stomach to my dick as the other hand is on my back and slipping under the drawstring of the Speedo and caressing one of my butt cheeks. Well there goes the knot I tied and down goes the Speedo. Chris grabs one of the towels from the deck of the pool and spreads it out on the edge. Slipping behind me he presses his hard Speedo clad penis into my exposed butt. His fingers briefly trace the leg straps of his jock that I'm wearing before he picks me up in a bear hug and turns us 180 so that I am facing the edge of the pool. He is trying to put me down so that I am half in, half out of the water. He's not going to fuck me here is he? He spreads my cheeks and kisses my bud. Licking all over the place from the back of the pouch to my bud and back he is getting me intensely horny. Unlike earlier in his room when his fingers penetrated me and his tongue primarily worked my choda, he now focuses his tongue on my bud and goes to town for a few minutes. I had rimmed Daniel a number of times but he was always queasy about returning the favour, so this is my first time. I've scanned enough sites and chat rooms that I know I am a quote-unquote bottom, or catcher. But damn! I know I love the feeling of being penetrated but I was not really ready for the sensory overload that Chris's tongue is creating as his tongue slips ever so minutely inside me. I moan, "Oh Chris, that feels so awesome! That feels so good, please stop!" "Ever had that done for you before?" he asks as he respects my request and backs off. "No, the closest I've ever had to that was one attempt from Daniel and then from you earlier, up in your room." I admit. "Sounds like you were neglected. What have you done, then? You sure liked that." "Well, not a lot. It's like I told you before. As far as loving each other, I've taken it once, and gave it twice. We did bj's more, and I rimmed him a bit too. Otherwise we usually just jerked off together and sometimes each other." "Oh, I'm sorry Jon. You guys really did love each other, huh? It wasn't just the sex. I'm jealous!" Oh man, his body is stunning in that Speedo, glistening golden brown with water beading up on him. As we climb out of the pool I feel a tingle in my balls and I visibly spasm as pre-cum dribbles out of me. Chris sees this and sucks at the pouch of the jock where I've leaked through slightly. I'm embarrassed as I hardly ever pre-cum. As I towel down, trying to deflect the attention from me, I stammer, "Kay, so then. Well. You kinda know my story. What's you story?" "I hardly know your story!" Chris says, equally trying to rebuff the attention from him. I object, "Yeah, right! You know it all. Me? Closet case. Daniel? Hidden love. And now I'm reaching far out on a limb even being with you. That's my story." Chris starts telling me as we make our way back up to his room wrapped in towels, "O.K. Fine. You want my story, here it is. I'm a rich kid, I went to private school until grade 9. I had real friends then, but I hated my last years there when the kids began to think I was a fag. Like it's hard to tell with me! I'm rather obvious, unfortunately. So everybody knows. That last year especially I got teased all the time and made fun of. I got asked why, and what it's like from the ignorant. From the mean kids I was always asked to suck a guys cock or if my ass was sore and shit like that. Even the two guys that I fooled around with would totally ignore me when we weren't alone. For years it was like that, that's why I got into swimming rather than rowing. No one wanted to row with me and the instructor ignored me like I had the plague. At least the swimming instructor tolerated me. She even encouraged me! But my last year there I felt so alienated. So finally for Grade 10 I convinced my parents to send me to a boarding school I'd read about. Hmm. Now let's see. Winchester Academy. Bad Idea. Who's the new homo with the faggy drawl? Chris Milner! A group of guys made it so hard on me. Can I piss on your face Chris; you fags like shit like that don't you? Or how about; I just took a dump Chris, wanna tongue-towel my ass for me? Or even this one; excuse me, Sir? Milner was looking at my crotch again and it makes me sick, Sir. Can you send him away, Sir? Yeah, that lasted until Christmas. I couldn't face it anymore so my parents agreed to let me just go to a public school here. It's funny. I finally got accepted in public school of all places. For the first time in years, by the end of grade 10 I had real friends. Guys and girls. Again, I was rather obvious by then. So everyone knew but it's like no one really gave a shit. Sure I got harassed a bit, but nothing like I'd faced before. Of course my love life stopped because I was the known fag in the public school and therefore too risky. Yeah, next to no sex for me. At least at private school or boarding school an occasional closeted guy could put it in me and say it was some sick joke towards me if he got caught. I've had three boyfriends in my life and two are from my school now. One was out so that made things easy but the other wasn't. But in the end I was just a cum rag for both of them. So while I want you badly Jon, if you are going to shoot in me and leave you can just shoot my heart with a gun instead first. I may be rich, I may be gay. I may be anything or everything people hate, but I have a heart. I feel, I love, I hurt, I cry. I'm a real person too, and I'll be damned if anyone ever takes advantage of me again." Chris is calm and collected, whereas I am really feeling for him. I reach to hug him and kiss him. He places his head on my shoulders. I whisper, "I'm poor, I'm in the closet, but I feel, love, hurt and cry too. And I think I might just really be able to love you Chris." He lifts his head from my shoulder. We hold the embrace; his head on my shoulder, and mine on his for a long moment before crashing sideways onto his bed. "Jon. I've never done it before. I've never, you know, I've always, well, I've always taken it up the ass." Chris concedes. I relent, "Oh. Well I guess if you wanted I could love you instead. I was just really hoping that you could love me." Chris exclaims, "No. I mean I'd love that too, have you in me, but this for now. I really actually want to try it. For you. I just want you to know is all. I don't want it to hurt for you." Somewhat naive I ask, "You mean it doesn't always hurt?" "Nuh uh! Why the hell would anyone want it ever again if it always hurt?" Chris admonishes me, adding, "I'll be real gentle. I promise." "I know you will. You seem like that, you're a nice guy Chris." I manage to say, while my heart is racing, my throat has a lump in it all over again and my penis is pulsating into Chris's stomach. He promises, "If you hurt, if it's uncomfortable just let me know, I'll back off. If you don't like something or just want to stop let me know. I won't get offended and I won't keep going to get off like some jerks." I tentatively reach down and pull at the knot Chris has in the string of his Speedo. It doesn't come undone and I get nervous. So instead of slipping my hand under and going straight for the goods I unfold the towel off of his lap and then pull it out from under him. After Chris returns the favour, he starts rubbing his hand up and down the covered shaft of my fully erect boner. I cautiously do the same and I am amazed that the Speedo is dry around his ass and only still wet where the swimmer's jock is beneath it. Man, does the Speedo feel great, and I love the ribbed feeling of the jock over his throbbing dick. I watch as it gets harder and harder, going from a curl in the fold of his right leg to a thick rod straining towards his belly button. I'm guessing it has to be bigger than me. Chris props my head up on a pillow and then raises my legs forwards, towards my chest. I start to protest but he tells me to relax and enjoy. So I do. I just let him lavish attention on me. As his fingers first rub the area below my sac, where the straps meet the pouch of the jock, I moan. His touch is slow and gentle and makes my body tingle all over. His other hand is rubbing all over my stomach and brushing my boner every so often. He knows that the sensation is driving me crazy so he backs off a bit and his fingers instead trace their way down to my bud. He comments that he loves the fact I am conscious enough to shave down there. What can I say? Since Daniel and I got sexually active I always thought that if I ever get the chance to get lucky, which is usually something like a 99.99% improbability, I want to be ready! I feel the wet warmth of Chris's mouth make contact with me again. I instinctively wrap my arms around my airborne legs, hooking my wrists around my knees and pull them apart and towards my chest. I feel weird, the sensation is simply amazing, but I also feel vulnerable and embarrassed that Chris has his tongue on such a personal area of my body. Shoving his dick in there seems like the most natural thing in the world to me by comparison to the attention his mouth is administering. I can feel the heat coming back into my cheeks, I am blushing bright red. I can't quite make out the movements, but his velvet smooth tongue is doing something unbelievable to me. His hands go to the backs of my knees and he does a pushup as he presses my legs flat to the bed beside my body. His face is still buried in my butt but the change in my position has made me open up slightly to his intruding tongue. I gasp and my legs spring up slightly despite his pressure on them and my arms restraining them. Chris snakes up my body, planting kisses from the waistband of the strap right up to my neck. I stab forward to kiss him but he instead latches on to the side of my neck. His talented tongue works my neck from ear to ear and all along my collar bone. He is straddled around my legs and his erection is pressed in the space between mine and my right leg, creating another mind blowing sensation as he slightly rocks his torso forward and back. Finally our lips find each other. Then he's off of me in a flash. I roll my head to follow him as he locks his door and flips the lights off. It's more grey than black in the room, but the only real lights now are the glow from his aquarium, the outline of his blind behind dark curtains and his clock reading 11:23. I watch his silhouette as he stops at a dresser and fumbles for something, until he returns to his bed. I can see a smile on his face as he stands over me and I smile back. I reach for the pouch of his Speedo so that I can feel his manhood. I briefly get to feel him up before he takes my hand and kisses my knuckles one by one. Chris pulls at the sheets that are now rumpled and just beneath my hips, freeing them. He slips into the bed beside me and pulls the sheets up to our waists. "Are you O.K. Jon," He whispers. "Yeah, just fine!" I profess. "Cool." Yeah, cool. I never thought I'd be doing this. I never thought I'd move on. I never thought that I'd be with a guy like Chris based on his mannerisms, let alone sleeping with him on our first date. He places my hand back on his erection as he reaches in to kiss my neck and ears again and then settles his lips onto mine. Well, if he's offering I'm taking him up on it. I start to jack him off through the Speedo. His hand searches out my boner and we break our kiss as we start to mutually rub each other's dicks. Through the pouch of the jock strap he begins to caress my sac. We're at a stalemate for a bit, doing this until he undoes the drawstring of his Speedo that I fumbled with earlier, and plants my hand beneath it and his jock strap. I wrap my hand around his silky smooth penis and he shudders and moans. I join him in the expression as his hand traces my waist band and then breaches it. Chris lifts his hips and I take the hint and try to slip the Speedo down his body. I fail miserably and we both laugh. Chris arches his back and puts his hands under his waistbands, and then smoothly slips his Speedo and swimmers jock halfway down his thighs. He lifts his legs so I slip the pair off of him. Chris takes them from my hand and folds them so that the seat of the Speedo is pushed into the pouch of the jock and the front crotch area of itself, and wraps this around my hard on. He uses this to jack me off briefly but I warn him I am not going to last long. I take the undergear from him and start to return the favour. He moans loudly and bucks his hips a few times. I feel good because I am bringing him pleasure that I wasn't sure I could. I'm beaming with a smile as Chris gently turns me onto my front so that I am sprawled out in is comfy bed. He slips under the covers and resumes his attention to my bud. He puts his hands on the front blades of my hips and gently tugs up. I get the idea and scooch up slightly on my knees so that my butt is up in the air. At first it's just his mouth and then I can feel a finger massaging my entry too. I tense up for a bit but he is gentle and doesn't try to force anything. As he senses me relax some I feel a finger slip in. This hurts initially and I let out a yelp of pain and lunge forward to the headboard of his bed. He apologizes and offers to just massage me with a bit of lube. The pain recedes fairly quickly so I agree. At this point I am so horny I just want him in me, and I swear on my life, if it doesn't hurt too much I won't complain. I have cum twice already this morning but my dick isn't raw from friction burns yet so I am definitely good for a third. Quickly his lubed fingers are deftly massaging the area around my bud and behind my sac. Oh shit! This feels great! I prop my butt back up and Chris returns his ministrations directly to my bud. I don't stop or dissuade him. Sensing that I have loosened up again he gently probes just inside me. He's pushing in and out with just the first digit of his finger, maybe even just part of the first digit, I don't know. He does this for a bit, and starts to kiss my back hundreds of times up my spine to the back of my neck. With no pain I tell him to try the whole finger. I mean hell, I can put some crazy shit in there like the neck of a wine bottle, so his flexible fingers should go with ease! And poof! Just like that his finger is inside. Quickly he slips in a second again, like he had before we went down to the pool. He tries to open a condom packet he fished from beside the bed with his teeth unsuccessfully. He just tears off one corner and then another before it slips from his slick fingers so he hands me the packet. I open the packet and hand him the condom. I am incredibly nervous again, partly in anticipation, partly in fear of what I am doing. "You still O.K. Jon?" He again queries. I'm beyond words right now, "Uh huh." "You sure?" "Yeah." I grunt. "O.K. Sexy. Remember, just tell me to stop and I will." I respond by folding up, with my knees more below me and my butt an exposed target for his dick. He has to remove his fingers momentarily to lube his dick and unroll the condom on it before lubing it up and then adding more lube to my bud. He squirts even more onto his fingers and deftly works them back into my body. "O.K. Lay flat for now," he whispers as he pushes me down and positions his legs around my hips. My boner throbs up and slaps my stomach while I get pushed into the mattress. I feel the tip of the condom and then the head of his penis rub up and down the length of my crack. He does this repeatedly as his fingers continue to massage me inside. He then rests his head on his fingers and pushes it towards my hole. He still has two fingers in me and is pushing against my entry with his dick. I am about to vehemently object as I feel the fingers slowly slip out and get replaced with the very tip of his penis. Mmm, it shuts me up before I can speak, just like a dick in my mouth would. He thrusts his hips a number of times but does not try to actually penetrate me. I am alternately gasping and moaning. I feel myself relax more. Instantly he is inside me! At least the head of him is. Again he thrusts back and forth, not actually pushing in any further. Then he does push deeper, but not far if I can judge well. He again rocks back and forth slow and easy not pushing in any harder. At least it feels like he's not going in further until I feel the flesh of his hips meeting the flesh of my butt. Holy Shit! Is this really happening? I know ideally it's supposed to feel this good. Trust me, it does when I control the object of intrusion! But still, there has been like no pain. Once he's bottomed out in me he wraps me in a loving hug, keeping his pelvis still. He stays still so long I start to wiggle so that I can feel him. This gives him the green light I suppose. Little by little he withdraws and penetrates, until to my best guess he is long dicking me some of the time. He pulls me up to my hands and knees and keeps going. With the full length of him sliding in and out of me now I am about ready to shoot so I tell him so, "Chris, I'm about there." "Me to," he admits and withdraws and twists me, indicating I should turn over onto my back, "here, flip over." I do as he suggests and draw my legs into my arms. My body spasms as he invades again. Not a stab of pain, but I do clench down. His breathing has changed. In no time at all Chris arches into a final thrust and his body tenses up. His body quivers as he lets go inside me. This is good. Fuck that, this is great! Once Chris comes back down he stays inside me. Finding my sports briefs discarded earlier in the morning up by my head on the other pillow, he folds it over again and uses it as a sleeve to masturbate me with. That alone brings me close to climax, but it is even better because he gently resumes thrusting into me, despite the slight winces on his face. I guess it must be too sensitive for him, but he doesn't have to wait long as I voice a loud grunt and let loose. I'm wondering just how much experience he has at this as he withdraws from me before I have finished. I know for myself that this can be the most uncomfortable part, afterwards when there are no raging hormones left to mask the departure. But he leaves me while I am still in the throwes of ecstasy. We kiss momentarily. I don't know what time it is that I fall asleep at, it must have been right after we finished. It's just past 1:30 when I stir again. I'm naked still, but covered in Chris's black silk sheet and a light blanket that feels like velvet. He's on his side, head propped up on his hand and looking into my eyes when I focus. His smile is heart melting. I smile back and snuggle up to him. I've dosed off again with his arm around me. It's now almost 3:00 when he gently shakes me awake to let me know I better start thinking about getting up. "Sorry about passing out on you there, Babe," I apologize. He answers, "It's O.K. Sexy. I enjoyed sleeping with you." I inquire, "Did you sleep then too?" Sheepishly he relates, "Mmm, not much. But I got to watch you. You're beautiful Jon, I hope you don't mind. Now I feel like a prev or something." "Why? We just had sex. That's all there is to us. Looking at me doesn't come close to a tenth as socially wrong as that." I say, hoping to buoy his confidence and assuage his guilt. Honestly though, it does make me feel weird that he was staring at me for a few hours as I slept. "Thanks, now I don't feel like a dirty old perv, I just feel like a criminal faggot," He laughs. I didn't realize what I said could be taken wrong, but well, there it is. I decide to keep my big yap shut. Chris goes off, not in a mean way, more in a wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve kinda way, "I guess we should all just deny it, and marry a girl and give her and ourselves a miserable life? Maybe bring kids into the loveless lie too? Or maybe we're supposed hide in a closet for all of our lives and not act on it at all? Or we can just deal with it someday and move on. Like us. Thank you, Jon. I know you're not out, but you have used the word `yet' after saying that. I can live with that. Plus you're just too damn sexy to not want!" "Thanks, Chris. You give a guy hope," I concede before planting a passionate kiss on him. He continues, "Oh well. It's what we are. We like boys. What can we do?" "I think we did it earlier. And you are amazing. I've had sex before, but that seems now more like basic desire. You are way more passionate," I say and kiss him. >>).:.(<< April 6, 2000. Dear Journal: Yes, twice in one day. Aren't you lucky! :) So I've lied to both of us Journal. I'm sorry. I guess to be honest I didn't see the events of today happening. Not the way they did anyway. I mean in my fantasy land I might have foreseen hot passionate sex with Chris, but in the real world I didn't think we'd move that quick. I had a feeling he was up for it and wanted it, but I thought for sure I wasn't and didn't want it. If anything I think things might have been just the opposite. When we got down to it, I was the one forcing it and Chris was the one trying to slow me down. Chris assured me it wasn't his goal; that I am not a conquest that he wanted to bed and that's it. With Chris being rich I've kind of worried that I would have been the object of his Cruel Intentions just like the movie, and I'm not fully convinced otherwise, but then what could he have to gain? We made out for a bit longer in his bed before having a shower. We showered separately because we are both still body shy around each other even though we both look pretty O.K. Chris had his first and then I had mine. After drying off I wrapped the fluffy towel around my waist and found Chris making his bed. I had to send him down to his Jeep to get my bag so that I could get dressed in my work uniform. An obviously embarrassing moment occurred when I realized that even though it was my third time today I'd still pumped enough into my 2(x)ist that I couldn't possibly wear them. It's like we were in sync, Chris handed me a grey 2(x)ist thong. I looked at it and then him. He responded that he's gay after all, and they probably don't intend for that underwear to be worn by straight guys anyway, so why not enjoy it. He added that he figured I like the label and it's his `sexy' underwear so why not put it on his sexy boyfriend. I couldn't argue with his logic. Daniel had a bit of a thing about underwear, mine specifically. I feel perverted, but I really think I am becoming an underwear whore too. Either way, going around work with that on drove me insane this afternoon! I got so many erections that if I wasn't wearing a server apron over myself I would have been arrested for them! But, I digress. At 4:00 we headed to his Jeep and he took me to work. In the back parking lot behind another restaurant we dared to kiss goodbye. As I got out of the Jeep I realized my fears. I swore no one was around or else I would have not risked it but Emily, an older server at my restaurant was just sneaking around the corner for a smoke at the exact moment. I walked by her red faced, and she grabbed me by my shirt sleeve. We agreed that it was bad timing and she told me that it was just as awkward for her as for me. She then jokingly said that he's a cutie and if she didn't have kids already half our age she'd go for him. She could have totally ruined my life by telling everyone what she just witnessed. Instead, being the adult she made sure I was O.K. and then promised not to say anything as long as I promised not to rat her out for sneaking out for a forbidden smoke break. When I got into work it was packed so they had me start fifteen minutes early for my shift. I was so busy because we were down a busser that I had no time to dawdle or think about the morning. It was 10:00 and I was finishing my closing duties when someone rang the front doorbell of the restaurant. I pretended not to notice it because I didn't want to get delayed and hey, I wanted to finish up, get home, and go to bed! Rhonda, my manager found me hiding at the cutlery polishing station, helping the hostess finish up her duties. She told me that there was someone here to pick me up out front, and she had told him I was just about done. I'm glad it was her and not Tripp that got the door, I love it when she's working way more than him. Tripp would have yelled at me that one of my friends dared to ring the doorbell and ask for me. I was kinda mad at Chris that he was being so forward, but I didn't want people seeing him wait for me so I rushed the last bunch of cutlery rolls and signed out. There were too many people waiting for the staff washroom/change room and I was not going to risk changing in the Dry Storage area with only a piece of string between my legs so I just changed my shoes and shirt in the back hallway, grabbed my bag and left through the back door. When I got around front I couldn't spot Chris's Jeep. I was getting pissed off and swearing under my breath when Larry called out and then put a hand on my shoulder from behind. He scarred the bejezus out of me and I jumped! I guess in my quiet verbal tirade on Chris, who wasn't even there, I missed Larry calling my name a few times. Larry told me he had come to pick me up because there were some things this week he thought I might want to talk about with him, if I felt so inclined. He suggested that he wouldn't pry, and again reassured me that he wasn't ever going to try to assume a fatherly role for me. He said I am old enough to be my own man, but he would like to be my friend. I really do kinda like him, he is great for my Mom and he was really cool with Daniel and me so I believe him. He has never told me what to do in my house or even invaded my territory in any way either, so he gets bonus points there too. So I asked what was on his mind instead. He started off by saying that my Mom has her suspicions about me and has been asking him what he thinks since Chris's phone call, but he has never betrayed me. Well there's a revelation I didn't see coming. So I just slump into the passenger seat of his truck and tell him the pertinent details about Chris. Shit like how we met and where he goes to school, not anything personal or even who he is. Larry told me he figured that there was another boy on the horizon based on my phone mannerisms earlier in the week, only he thought it may be Tim. Apparently before hearing Chris on the phone when she answered the other day, my Mom said to Larry that she hopes it's finally a girlfriend that has been making me happy lately. Larry says she now has changed the wording to `someone' that makes me happy, and it's obvious she trying to deal with the possibility. Yeah, my heart was a lump in my throat. Larry figured that she was fishing to see if he might be homophobic, and he told me that he let her know about his own son's sexuality. Wow, mind overload at that point! So I didn't say anything to him. He again assured me that he never let on what he knows about me, and he didn't acknowledge her doubts either, so she could think what she thinks on her own. He related that it is sorta hard for him to keep his promise to me first when it means pretending to my Mom about it. I couldn't see where things were going, like was he going to ask m permission to marry my Mom or what? No, instead he said that he talked her into letting me have the privacy a growing man needs and convinced her that I need a cell phone to deal with my private affairs. She agreed, but asked in return that he use his role as a health teacher and my respect for him to caution me against unprotected sex if I decide to become sexually active, if I am not already. Thankfully he never gave me the lecture, he just left it at that and handed me a box and some papers. The papers were a contract for a cell phone in my name but with his signature on it. The phone itself is a way cool flip phone, and he got me a $25 pay as you go card for it. He never said something like he's not trying to buy me off, or anything like that, he just said I am a level headed guy and to use my good judgment with it. The last thing he said as he dropped me off at home was to make sure I'm not late for school in the morning. So, on that note Journal, I've got a thong to get out of and memories of earlier to replay as I jack myself off to sleep! L8er, Jon. [to be continued] I've got some big plans in mind, but always like to know what you think. Hit me up at: phantomscorpio77@gmail.com. Thanks!