Date: Thu, 12 Dec 2002 11:37:49 -0800 (PST)
From: Sebastian Wallace <sebastian_wallace@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Intimacy (Part 5)

INTIMACY (Part 5)
by Sebastian Wallace


My mates kept taking the piss out of Simon and I throughout the afternoon.
We were now sharing a room with not one but two teachers and, apparently,
that was very amusing.

Jed was by far the worst.  "It's 'cos you two are notorious bum-boys.  It's
taking two members of staff to keep an eye on you both.  They've had to set
up a shift system."

"Shut the fuck up," Simon snapped.  "The only fucking shift system is going
to involve your nose moving across your face."

"Like you're capable of that."

"Yeah like I fucking am."

And on it went.

On the coach on the way back to the hostel, Simon sat on his own, staring
out of the window, making no secret of how angry he was.  I pretended to be
oblivious to their jokes and taunts: it was only because Simon was taking
it so badly that they were continuing.  In actuality, I knew that most of
my mates were well aware that it would be quite a laugh to share with Gould
and Vaughan.  They were both easy-going members of staff, both a lot of fun
in lessons, and I think most of the lads on the trip would have regarded it
as only a minor inconvenience to have had to share a room with them.

Simon was livid about it all, though.  The fact that he and I had played
around with each other a little in bed the night before, no doubt given the
confidence to do so by Mr Gould's relaxed attitude to male affection and
intimacy, was obviously at the forefront of his mind.  Any aspersions made
about his sexuality were not as easily dismissed by him as they might
otherwise have been.

The jokes continued throughout tea and Simon remained snappy and sullen.
When I managed to talk to him on his own I told him he should lighten up.
"By getting angry, you're just making it worse.  It's like you've something
to hide..."

He nodded.  "Yeah, I know.  But they're fucking me off.  They're so
immature."

I smiled.  "They're just messing around.  They don't believe what they're
saying."

He didn't smile back as I'd expected.  His eyes were cold and intense.
"It's just that... a couple of days ago I'd have made the same jokes.  But
now, after last night..."

"Are you upset about what we did... angry with me?"

He looked surprised.  "No, no - of course not!"

"With Gould?"

Now he looked puzzled.  "No.  Why should I be?"  His face softened.  "I'm
not really angry with anyone.  I just don't like little boys making jokes
about things they don't understand..."

We were interrupted by Dobby coming over to tell us that everyone was going
to the bar.  They were going to show an old black and white movie about the
First World War.  We were all entitled to a free coke.

Simon said, "Whoopideedoodah" and then headed off to our room.

I thought I ought to go to the bar otherwise the jokes would be even cruder
next day on the way back to England.

In the event, the movie was only really background noise to the
conversation and buzz in the bar.  I spent most of the evening playing pool
with a couple of my mates; the other guys were playing darts or cards, or
having competitions on the pinball machine while the staff sat around a
couple of tables, smoking and getting drearily pissed together.  I think
they'd just switched the movie on so that they could reach their quota of
"educational activities" that they have to lay on when they're running a
trip.  They can't possibly have expected anyone to actually be interested
in it.

As I was playing pool, I kept wondering why Simon had taken the jokes about
the two of us so badly.  The whole thing had escalated because one guy made
a stupid comment and Simon over-reacted.  He'd just proved himself to be an
easy target.  Normally jokes like that would just wash over him.  He'd
either give as good as he'd received, or just say "Yeah yeah yeah" and
shake his head like it was all beneath him.

I wondered if maybe he was feeling a bit vulnerable because we were so far
from home, but, again, he'd never shown himself to be the kind of guy to
get homesick when we were at boarding school.

Perhaps he was gay, or was having homosexual feelings at the minute.  That
seemed more plausible.  He'd always been a bit reticent about coming onto
girls; a bit shy around them.  I guess I'd always put it down to us being
in an all-male school: some boys in such schools find the idea of girls a
slightly scary concept to handle.

If he was gay it didn't bother me.  It made me feel a bit guilty that the
stuff we'd done together last night, something which I'd regarded as just
the two of us messing around together under the duvet, had affected him
more deeply.

I'd have to be more careful with him.  Not in the sense that I was afraid
he'd try to get serious with me - we knew each other too well for that.
I'd just have to be aware that while I'd been enjoying getting close to him
on the previous evening as a straightforward act of friendship and
affection, it had maybe raised a few issues in his mind that he was now
finding it difficult to deal with.  I'd have to tread a little more softly
in future.

At about half past ten, Dobby came over and asked what was up with Simon.

I shook my head.  "I dunno.  I think he's just pissed off that he
volunteered to share with me and Gould and now it's all backfired on him.
I mean, I was the one who was forced to share with a teacher; he just
offered to join me..."

Dobby nodded.  "We're only messing around.  It's not serious."

"Yeah, but he's pissed off.  I think he was already in a mood because the
trip wasn't as good as he'd thought it would be.  Just a bit touchy.  Maybe
tomorrow you'll wanna give it a rest..."

Dobby smiled.  "After the state we're all gonna be in tonight, I don't
think anyone's gonna remember anything about it tomorrow..."

I didn't know what he meant.

He explained in a whisper, "Foster managed to buy a few bottles of vodka
and stuff in Ypres today.  We're gonna get wasted...  you wanna join in?"

I laughed.  "Like that's possible.  If I get back stinking of booze at two
in the morning, I think Gould or Vaughan will notice."

He nodded.  "You could say you're sleeping on our floor tonight..."

"Naah.  To be honest, Simon would probably take it that I was scared to
sleep in the same room with him after all the comments about the two of us
today.  He'd get even more screwed up..."

Dobby grinned and shook his head.  "Jesus, Seb.  Mr Considerate, or what.
He can come to if he wants to.  Gould and Vaughan are hardly going to
notice, the amount the staff have put back tonight."

I looked over at the staff table.  Empty glasses filled every inch of
available space.  Some were stacked up, one glass inside the other.  But
then I noticed Gould and Vaughan weren't there.

I said, "Where are they, actually?"

Dobby looked disinterested.  "I dunno.  Maybe they pissed off somewhere for
the night.  Got a cab over to a nightclub, like we should have...  Anyway,
the offer's there if you wanna join us..."

I nodded and then returned to my game.

-----

I went up to our room at about eleven.

As I'd expected, Gould and Vaughan were in the room, chatting with Simon.
The two men were sitting on Gould's bed, side by side, backs against the
wall.  They'd brought up three or four of packs of lager and had worked
their way through about half of them.  Vaughan was slightly taller than
Gould, with short black hair and a handsome, angular face.

Simon was on my bed, opposite them, leaning against the wall.  I noticed he
had some lager in a plastic cup, next to an opened can and a bottle of
lemonade.

He looked a lot more happy.  He obviously found the older company to his
liking.

Gould grinned and said, "Ah, Sebastian.  May I introduce our new room-mate,
Mr Tobias Vaughan..."

I curtsied daintily and said, "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr
Vaughan."  I sounded like a milkmaid.

Vaughan laughed.  He had nice white teeth.

Gould said, "Well the party can get started now the life and soul has
arrived."

I sat on the bed next to Simon and he moved along on the bed slightly to
give me space.

I said, "Throw us a can, then!"

Gould grinned and shook his head, tutting.  "You're a mere fifteen years
old.  What kind of teacher would I be if I allowed you to drink?"

I looked over at Simon's opened can.  "What - he's eighteen is he?"

Gould grinned at Simon.  "Jesus, Simes.  You're gonna be in serious trouble
when we get back.  You should have told us to tell you not to accept
that... there's gonna be consequences, young man..."

Simon laughed.

Then Gould reached for a can and threw me one.  "You've got to dilute it.
You can legally drink shandy.  Half lemonade, half lager."

I grinned.  "Yeah, right."

He threw me a serious look.  "No, Seb.  It's gotta be shandy.  I'm not
trying to get you guys pissed..."

"Like a can of lager's gonna get me pissed..."

"That's as maybe.  But you're still underage so you've gotta drink
shandy..."

I saw that he was serious and realised he was doing this for his own
protection.

He added, "And it's one can maximum."

I was beginning to get a bit irritated.  "My dad lets me drink two."

"You dad isn't at risk of being fired for that, though, is he?"

I got up and went and got a plastic cup out of the bathroom.  I was
slightly annoyed, but I could see exactly why they were having to be
careful.  If I got wasted with them and told them some stuff I shouldn't
have, something they'd have to act on like Foster's vodka party, we'd have
all been in a very difficult position.

I sat back down and made up a shandy with the lager and Simon's lemonade.
I was going to suggest that I just drink the can on its own - make some
manly comment about preferring the taste - but I thought it would only end
up with Gould and I having an argument and the mood in the room turning
sour.

So I just drank the shandy and shut up about it.

Gould said, "We were just talking about hiking stuff.  I thought I'd bored
you guys enough, but Simon's been asking us about it."  He turned to Simon.
"You're thinking of coming along to Nepal in the summer, aren't you?"

Simon nodded.  "I've never done any climbing but I like the idea of hiking
and camping with a group of mates -"

Vaughan interrupted, looking at me, "That's what the Nepal trip is.
Walking from Kathmandu to Latipur.  It's the foothills of the Himalayas so
there's no actual climbing."  Vaughan seemed to be addressing himself to
me, as if trying to get me interested.

"Just a few steep bits," added Gould.

Simon nodded again.  "Sounds perfect, actually."

Vaughan said, again looking at me, "The scenery's pretty spectacular..."

Simon took a swig from his cup.  "To be honest, it could be a trek across
the Norfolk broads and I'd be up for it.  I just like the idea of getting
away with a group of guys for a couple of weeks.  I think it'd be cool..."

Gould smiled.  "My stories obviously didn't put you off..."

Simon shook his head.  "I like the idea of getting to know people so well,
getting so comfortable with them.  I mean, don't take it the wrong way, but
all that male bonding stuff would have sounded a bit freaky to me a few
days ago, but now I'm kind of getting to like the idea..."

Vaughan nodded.  "I love getting away from everything with a group of guys.
It's just nice to get away from everything with people who have similar
interests, people who understand each other..."

I asked, "So it's a boys-only trip?  No girls?"

Vaughan nodded.  "Would that put you off?"

I shrugged.  "Not really -"

Gould chipped in, "We take mixed groups on some of our trips."

"Yeah, it wouldn't really bother me.  I suppose, if I had a girlfriend, it
would be nice to go with her.  But spending a couple of weeks with a group
of guys wouldn't scare me off..."

"You get to know people very closely," Gould said.  "Like I was saying last
night, you get intimate on every level..."

Vaughan laughed.  "And we mean every level, don't we, Brendan."  He nudged
Gould theatrically and threw him an exaggerated wink.

Simon and I chuckled but Gould was being serious.  "But you do, Toby.  I
mean, it's natural for guys to get so intimate when they're spending every
day with each other and getting cooped up together every night over a
couple of weeks..."

Vaughan smiled.  "Yeah.  I know.  You know I know."

Gould went on, "Like I was telling you lads last night, everyone needs a
bit of affection sometimes.  If you've only got your mates around you, then
it's natural that you'll be there for each other..."

I finished my cup of shandy and nodded.  Then I poured another, giving
myself a more generous amount of lemonade to make the lager last longer.

Simon said, "Yeah, I'm okay with all of that.  I mean, I was a bit stunned
by it when you first told me about it, but - like you say - it's natural
that that kind of stuff is gonna happen..."

Vaughan took a couple of swigs from his can and then said, "Yeah.  It's
gonna happen.  Brendan and I, and just about all of the staff who go hiking
and camping, are totally comfortable about that.  Some guys aren't - just a
few and they tend to be the older ones - but most guys who've ever been
away together for any reasonable length of time are."

Then Gould said, "It's like the two of us.  We're totally comfortable
around one another.  In fact," he glanced at Vaughan, "we thought we'd
share this bed tonight if you guys are okay with that..."

I looked at Simon.  He nodded.  I must admit I was slightly surprised.

Gould saw my reaction and went on, "I mean, we've shared a sleeping bag for
a couple of nights when..."  He looked at Vaughan again and smiled.  "... a
certain person fell into a river and got his totally soaked."

Vaughan grinned.  "You had to bring that up..."

Gould continued, "So it's not a problem for us."

Vaughan said, "It's not ideal, especially when he's asleep and he thinks
I'm his wife, but it's better than sleeping on the floor..."

I laughed.  "Yeah, whatever.  I'm okay with it..."

Gould said, "It's a cold night.  The room's like a fridge.  I reckon
doubling up is actually the only sensible option..."

It didn't feel too cold to me but I nodded.

Vaughan agreed with him.  "Yeah.  If I were you guys, I'd think of doing
the same."

Simon looked at me.  He looked hesitant; wanting to see what my reaction
was before revealing his own.

I thought again of his behaviour this afternoon; of his being so upset
about the other guys' jokes that he might be gay.  I couldn't make him
think that the idea of sharing with him was scary to me; that I didn't
trust him.  So I just shrugged and said, "Not a problem for me, Simon."

He turned back to them.  "Yeah.  Sounds cool..."

I realised that they were probably trying to get us to bunk up together
because of my surprised reaction to hearing that they were planning to do
it.  If the four of us did it, because of the 'cold', it wouldn't seem in
any way unusual.  And, of course, having done the same thing ourselves,
Simon and I wouldn't be likely to spread gossip around about them when we
got back to school.

Vaughan stood up and said, "Well, I'm gonna get ready for bed, if it's okay
with you guys.  We're up pretty early tomorrow..."

He started unbuttoning his checked shirt as Gould gulped down the last few
mouthfuls of his can.

Simon stood up and asked, "If I come to Nepal, would there be any chance of
sharing a tent with you guys?  I mean, you seem totally cool about stuff -
it'd be a good laugh..."

Vaughan pulled off his shirt.  He was wearing a tight fawn Radiohead
teeshirt underneath it.  His chest was large and muscular, his stomach
tight.  He was clearly a pretty hairy guy: curly black hairs overflowed
from the neckline of his teeshirt.

He grinned and said, "As long as you're aware that we have a strict no
masturbation policy."

Gould nodded sagely and then stood up to get undressed too.

Simon laughed.  "Like you could enforce that."

Vaughan sat down on the bed and started untying his shoe laces.  "Oh yes.
We're very strict.  We check for semen stains on an hourly basis."

I laughed.  "That's so gross!"  Then I finished off the weak shandy,
preparing to down the rest of can before bed.

Simon started pulling off his shirt.  "Well the same has to apply to you
two.  And if last night was anything to go by, Brendan would be one of the
first to end up in detention."

Gould chuckled.  "You guys started it.  I was only being polite by joining
in..."

Vaughan laughed loudly.  His face was warm and affectionate when he
laughed, his blue eyes twinkling.  "Mis-ter Gould!" he cried out.  "I can't
believe you would debase yourself in such a way in front of two innocent
young boys!"

Gould giggled.  "Innocent?  These two?"  He looked over at us and we
grinned at him.

Vaughan shouted, primly, "Beasts of the field!"

I said, "Surely it'd be more weird if you were sharing a room or tent with
some guys and they didn't masturbate.  I mean, so long as they were our age
or older..."

Gould said, "Exactly."  He pulled off his shirt and was wearing a black
vest underneath it.  Like Vaughan's teeshirt, it was pretty tight and
nicely filled with his muscular chest and stomach.

Vaughan pulled off his second boot and unrolled his sock from his large
hairy foot.  He said, "They can be a lot younger than you, mate."  He stood
back up and started unbuckling his belt, turning to Gould.  "Remember those
couple of lads who we camped with on the Alps..."

"Oh yeah.  That third form group?"

"Yeah.  Brendan and I didn't think they were wanking yet, 'cos nothing ever
happened after lights out, so we were having to nip off behind the bushes
to... you know... sort ourselves out."

He looked at me and grinned sheepishly like he was slightly embarrassed to
be admitting that he masturbated.  I grinned back; I loved his smile.

He continued, "Anyway, after a few nights, they started playing around
together.  Doing... er... what did those guys call it?  Cock sports or
something...?"

"Cock wrestling," Gould said, smiling.  He sat back down on the bed and
started untying his boots as Vaughan had.

"Yeah, that's it.  They'd roll around on each other, rubbing their cocks
against together.  Huggin' each other, sort of... one lad humping the
other..."

Simon laughed.  "Sounds like the stuff kids do..."

Vaughan laughed too.  "Well, that's pretty much what they were!  They were
younger than you guys..."

I asked, "How old?"

"I dunno... thirteen or fourteen or something..."

Gould grinned.  "It was kind of funny.  We turned off the light one night
and within, like, ten minutes or something we heard them start gasping and
grunting..."

"Yeah - then one of us turned the light back on..."

"And the two of them were lying there, one on the other, rubbing their
dicks into each other, kind o' like one lad fucking the other but just
pressing their cocks together..."

"Yeah - and then one of said, 'Come on, Sir.  We're only cock
wrestling...'"

We all laughed.  Vaughan pulled down his trousers, revealing his muscular
hairy legs and a pair of white briefs, very well packed at the front by a
hefty-looking bulge.

I asked, "And they'd spunk up like that... together?"

Vaughan said, like I was dumb, "Well, you know, Seb, I think that might
have been the outcome, now you mention it..."

Gould chuckled and, more to my irritation, Simon did too.  Like he was so
fucking world-wise and I was a little naive schoolboy.

Simon asked, pulling off one of his shoes, "So what did you do?  Did you
join in?"

"Well kind of..."

Gould interrupted, "Let's remember that we were invited to join in..."

Vaughan grinned.  "Oh yeah, that's right... they told us we should have a
go."

"They reckoned we'd enjoy it."

The two of them grinned at each other, obviously entertained by the
memories.  I noticed Vaughan's briefs give a sudden movement like his cock
was stirring inside them.

Simon asked, "And did you?"

Vaughan said, walking into the bathroom, "Well you know it gets kinda tough
up there with just a small group of guys..."  He raised his voice over the
sound of running water, "Pissing off into the bushes for a wank when
no-one's looking... scared that you're gonna get caught wazzin' off by some
of the lads you teach in 3B... I mean, you can imagine the difficulties..."

Gould looked straight at me, smirking broadly, and I nodded and grinned.

"So when an opportunity to do it in the comfort of your tent presents
itself," he continued.  "Well, it's kind of tempting to accept it."  The
sounds of him brushing his teeth came out from the bathroom.

Simon grinned incredulously.  "You started humping each other?"

Gould smiled, pulling down his jeans.  "Cock wrestled each other.  Get it
right..."

I asked, "In front of them...?"

"Well, they were kind of distracted, they were doing their own thing..."
He was wearing the navy blue briefs I'd seen him put on that morning.  His
bulge was also impressive and the material was stretched tight around the
obvious rod made by his thick, limp cock.

"They still managed to check us out," Vaughan called out, through a mouth
full of toothpaste.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah.  I saw them... glancing over at us..."

Gould laughed.  "I thought they were totally cool with it.  Totally
oblivious..."

"I think they were pretty cool with it.  They were just curious... you
know... checking out our dicks and stuff..."

"I guess they'd never seen the sumo version of what they were up to..."

Simon pulled down his trousers, revealing a pair of briefs with a dark
green paisley pattern on them.  After the sight of the two men's bulges,
his looked a bit disappointing.

He asked, "So you started humping each other when you were camping and
stuff...?"

Vaughan came back into the room, wiping his mouth with his towel.  "With
those lads, yeah.  They were easy with it, so we were.  Like you said
before, it gets kind of lonely when you're so far from other people... you
miss your girlfriend, your wife... you know.  It nice to have someone to
hold, to mess around with a bit, without anyone getting hung up about it
being 'gay' or 'queer' or any crap like that..."

Gould grinned and picked up his own toiletries bag.  "Someone to be with
when you're feeling horny, basically..."

Vaughan chuckled.  "Yeah - that pretty much sums it up."  He turned to us
and smiled.  "Just because there are no girls around - no women, whatever -
doesn't mean that Mr Chips doesn't need a bit of fun..."  He glanced down
at the large bulge made by his cock inside his briefs in case we were in
any doubt about what he was referring to.

I stood up and started undressing, grinning.  "I dunno - it sounds kind of
weird.  To just lie there while another guy climbs on top of you and... you
know... fucks you like you're a girl.  I don't think I could get into
that..."

Vaughan shook his head.  "No, Seb.  It's not like that.  It's nothing like
straight sex... there's no 'boy' and 'girl' position.  It's not like one
guy gives it while the other takes.  It's just two guys' cocks messing
around together: rolling around on each other, pressing into each other,
one trying to poke the other..."

Gould called out from the bathroom, "Actually, the analogy to wrestling is
pretty accurate..."  I could hear his stream of piss hitting the water
inside the toilet.

Simon reached for his toothbrush and asked, "How's it compare with the real
thing?"

Vaughan looked puzzled.  "What do you mean 'real thing'?"

"You know... being with a girl...?"

Vaughan smiled.  "I dunno... it's different..."  He pulled a face like he
was considering the question.  Then, after a few seconds, he went on, "I
guess it's nice as an alternative... but if my girlfriend was into camping
and we were sharing a tent, I wouldn't exactly miss it -"

"I don't really get it," I interrupted.  "I mean... how do you get off on
it... how's it work?"

Vaughan stared at me like what I was asking was ridiculous.  I felt my face
flush slightly.

I tried to clarify myself.  "I mean... do you, like, wank yourselves off
while you're doing it?  I can see how a couple of young lads could get off
on just rubbing their dicks into each other, but what about you two?"

Vaughan smiled.  "There's no actual wanking - it's just two dicks wrestling
with each other... what else is there to say...?"

Gould came back into the room, the sounds of the flushing toilet behind
him.  I noticed a couple of dribbles of piss on the front of his briefs
where the tip of his cock was.

He seemed to catch my drift a little more than Vaughan had.  He said, "We
didn't masturbate while those lads were in the tent with us.  It wasn't
something they did openly so we just followed their lead.  We can't be the
ones to start things off; we can't suggest taking things a step further -
otherwise we'd have been placing ourselves in a very dodgy position -"

"'Dodgy'?" I asked.

Gould continued, "Well, if you're in a situation of forced intimacy, and
some of the lads want to have a wank last thing at night, it's pretty
natural for the men in the same tent to join in.  It's not so natural -
and, I guess, verging on immoral - for the men to start doing stuff
together to try and draw the younger guys in; to try and encourage them to
experiment..."

Vaughan got the point and nodded.  "Oh yeah... the ideas have to come from
the lads.  You can't risk getting accused of leading younger guys astray or
something..."

Gould went on, "And you've gotta know when to say 'no'.  You've got to have
the boundaries clear in your own mind and not let go of it."

He looked at me and I nodded.  We both knew he was referring to what had
happened that morning.

Simon asked, looking at Vaughan who was kneeling down to put his dirty
clothes into his holdall, "So if a group of lads were wanking in the tent,
you'd join in?"

Vaughan laughed.  "Yeah.  Course I would.  As long as they weren't freaked
out.  And no-one ever has been..."

Simon nodded.  "So if Seb and I started up after lights out, you'd be up
for it too?"

Vaughan said, standing up again, "Yeah, I was kind of hoping you might.
There hasn't been much opportunity to sort myself out over in the staff
bedroom.  I'm not sure Captain Birdseye would approve of the younger
members of staff giving into their animal urges..."  He gave the front of
his briefs an affectionate rub.

Simon and I laughed.  Captain Birdseye was the students' name for one of
the older teachers in our group.

Then Simon asked, "Even though you're sharing a bed with Mr Gould?"

Vaughan laughed and said, "Jesus!  The number of trips we've been on
together... we're hardly gonna get hung up about one of us having a
wank..."  Then he called through to Gould, who was brushing his teeth.
"You wouldn't mind the bed shaking for a few minutes, would you?"

Gould stopped brushing and called out, "I might make it shake even more..."

I asked, pulling off my socks, "Would you guys wanna... you know... cock
wrestle?"  I was intrigued to know what it would look like.

Vaughan sat back down on Gould's bed and said, "It has to come from you
guys.  But if you guys were okay with it and wanted to try it together,
then I reckon Toby and I would be up for joining in..."

I went on, "So if one of us was to... you know... suck the other lad's cock
-" I saw Simon turn and give me a shocked look from the corner of my eye.
His face rapidly turned a deep scarlet, like a character from a cartoon
who's fallen into a fire.  I went on, "I mean, not that we would.  But if
we did..."

Vaughan's expression didn't change.  He shrugged and said, "Well I wouldn't
have a problem with it -"

I interrupted, "But would you join in?"

Vaughan gave a small smirk and Gould stopped brushing his teeth again,
waiting to hear the response.

He said, grinning, "Brendan and I are totally cool with each other..."

"But would you join in?"

Vaughan shrugged again.  "If you guys wanna play around together, then
that's kind of nice.  Nice you're so comfortable with each other.  If
Brendan wanted some of the same, and I was feeling that way too, then I
know from the trips we've been on that neither of us gets hung up about
each other's bodies, cocks, sex, whatever..."  I heard Gould spitting out
the toothpaste and running the water.

"So you would?"

Gould came out from the bathroom again and Vaughan looked at him.  Gould
was smirking and gave a small shrug.  "Yeah... it's possible... maybe more
than possible..."

I turned to Simon.  He looked a lot less embarrassed but threw me a
withering glare.  Like he was saying, "Why did you have to bring that up?"
Then he picked up his stuff and went off into the bathroom.

I turned back to Vaughan and Gould.  I liked the idea of seeing them suck
each other.  It'd be interesting watching two guys do that.

Pulling down my jeans and aware that my cock was semi-hard inside my
briefs, I asked, "You've done it before, right?"

Vaughan looked at Gould once again.  But Gould didn't look back at him this
time; he chose to answer the question himself.  "Like I told you the other
night, it's not exactly unusual to find guys coupling up when you're all
cooped up together.  Hand-jobs lead to other stuff..."

"Mouth-jobs", I reminded him of the term he'd used.

"Yeah."  He nodded, glancing at the mound at the front of my light blue
briefs.  "So if the students are so cool with it, and I'm with a guy I'm
comfortable with, then it would seem kind of prissy not to follow suit..."

"So you have?"

Before Gould could respond, Vaughan laughed and then said, "Like this
wouldn't be right round the fifth form within a day of us getting back to
England..."  He obviously thought Gould was getting a little too close to
the truth.

But then Gould sat down next to him on the bed and said, "If you want to
talk totally openly it has to be on the same terms as last night..."

Vaughan looked at him.  He asked, "Last night?"  He seemed to be genuine;
it seemed that Gould hadn't told him about our conversations or that Simon
and I had been experimenting a little after lights out.  Otherwise he was a
very good actor.

Gould shook his head.  "Never mind."  Then he turned back to me.  "You know
what I'm saying.  Nothing goes further than these four walls..."

I nodded.  I could hear Simon spitting toothpaste into the sink.

Gould kept up his serious look.  He said, "If you start gossiping about us,
that gives us the right to spread stories about you two..."

Vaughan was staring at me, a slight grin on his face.  He knew exactly the
kind of stuff Gould was alluding to.  I felt my cheeks grow hot with
embarrassment.

I nodded again.

Simon came out from the bathroom.  Gould looked up at him and said, "This
is all strictly between the four of us, right?"

Simon looked at me and then back at Gould.  He nodded.

Gould smiled.  "Nice one.  Okay.  Yes, if the lads have been okay with it
and started things off, both of us have joined in on occasions..."

Vaughan laughed and turned to Gould.  "I remember the first time I caught
you getting head.  I came over to your tent - you and Gav were sharing it
with a couple of fifth-formers - to ask what we were doing the next
morning.  You and one of the lads were sitting against the back of the
tent; Gav's head was working at your dick and the other lad was getting
seen to by his mate."

Gould grinned and chuckled.  "Oh yeah.  I remember."

"I asked you about the stuff we were doing next day and you chatted to me
like nothing was going on.  The fifth-former next to you, I forget who it
was, even chipped in with a couple of suggestions about what time we should
aim to leave the camp while his cock was being sucked..."

Gould laughed.  "Yeah.  Gav wasn't too good at giving head.  Good climber,
good teacher, crap cock-sucker.  I reckon I could have taught a Maths
lesson with his mouth clamped to my cock without getting overly distracted
by what he was doing..."

The three of us laughed and I heard Gould mutter to Vaughan, "Fucking good
at the other, though."  Vaughan grinned broadly and nodded.

Simon seemed oblivious to this.  He sat back down on the edge of my
mattress and asked, "So you were talking about stuff while Gould and the
other lad were getting sucked off...?"

Vaughan smiled.  "Yeah.  I think I was more distracted than Brendan.  I had
two guys' arses right in front of my face.  Gav and the other guy were bent
over on all fours while they were doing their thing - their two arseholes
staring at me like a couple of pink eyes."

Simon and I laughed again.

Vaughan continued, "It was me who kept losing the thread.  I think I had to
ask you both about four times what time sunrise was... but I guess it was
only then that I thought, 'Jesus, why aren't I doing this?'  I mean, I'd
wanted to but I'd always thought it would have been immoral or something."

I asked, "You'd never done anything with another guy until then?"

Vaughan shook his head.  "No, I'm not saying that.  I'd done stuff when I
was at school and Uni.  I mean, when you're so close to a group of other
lads for a couple of weeks, it's inevitable that stuff is going to happen
between some of you.  I'd wanked with my mates, we'd sucked each other and
even... done other stuff sometimes... but I'd always been hung up about
joining in as a teacher.

"But then I thought, 'If the lads are okay with it, what the hell am I
getting so worried about?'  And I guess I just went with it after that."

I asked, "Have you guys ever done it together?"

Vaughan nodded.  "Yeah."  He turned to Gould and asked, "That's no secret,
is it?"

Gould shook his head and shrugged.  "As long it stays between the four of
us..."

Simon and I muttered that it would.  Of course it would.

Vaughan stood up and pulled his teeshirt off.  His chest was thickly
covered in dense swirls of black hair.  He went on, "It's kind of nice,
actually.  I mean, we know what each other likes and it's nice to be so
close to another guy sometimes.  Sharing pleasure together.  It's good to
be like that - especially when you're climbing and your lives literally
depend on each other.  I think the intimate stuff is actually a necessary
part of that..."

He grinned and said, "Now you're shocked."

I shook my head and noticed Simon was too.

Vaughan put his teeshirt into his holdall and said, "Or you think we're
'gay' or whatever word you guys use..."

I said, "No.  I agree with you.  I think it's good for guys to be like that
together.  I don't think it's gay at all..."

Gould stood up and pulled off his vest.  He said, "I think if you're
sleeping with another guy, being with him all day, getting to know him so
closely, it's obvious that you'll want to share each other's moments of
pleasure too..."

Simon and I nodded.

Vaughan pulled off his briefs.  I wondered why he was changing them before
getting into bed but then thought maybe it was because he was sharing.  He
stuffed them into his holdall but didn't reach in for a fresh pair as I'd
expected.  He just stood back up, his large cock looking slightly hard,
sticking up from his balls at an angle of about twenty degrees.

He went on, "It's just nice to get the tent up and settle down for the
night.  Sometimes it's the only quiet moment you get all day.  The lads
piss around, of course, but then, if they want to, they get together and
snuggle up.  That's a nice part of the day.  Lads who have been at each
other's throats since breakfast can come together last thing at night and
just enjoy each other's company without saying anything.  If that involves
some sex - a little bit of rubbing, a little bit of sucking - then, to me,
that seems totally natural..."

Vaughan lay down on the bed, naked.

Gould pulled off his own briefs, revealing his own semi-hard cock, looking
thicker than Vaughan's but a little shorter.

He was saying, "It's interesting that, when there's mixed camps with girls'
tents and boys' tents, the lads spend most of their time trying to sneak
off with the girls.  But when girls aren't there, the same lads will just
settle down together and, without feeling like they need to excuse or
explain themselves, enjoy being intimate with one another.  It's just seen
as a perfectly acceptable - expected, even - alternative..."

He threw his vest and briefs over onto the top of his rucksack and got onto
the bed with Vaughan.  Both men were on their sides, Vaughan behind Gould.
Vaughan put his right arm over Gould's chest and gently caressed his
fingers through the short curly hair.

I was kind of surprised to see them like that - two grown men sharing a bed
together and totally unashamed about doing so - but tried to act like
nothing was wrong.  I looked over at Simon who was staring at them,
open-mouthed.

I managed to ask, "And you've joined in..."

Vaughan nodded.  "Yeah.  Occasionally.  Well, quite often, actually."  He
laughed and Gould chuckled too.  I noticed Gould's cock was lengthening
gradually as Vaughan gently caressed his chest.  It was standing up of its
own accord, looking about seven inches long.  His foreskin was slowly
unfurling across its fat red head and the stem was visibly pulsating as it
thickened.

Gould said, "I'd agree with Toby that it's often the nicest part of the
day.  You can spend all day shouting at the lads you're with - telling them
off for not taking the climb seriously, for not sticking to all the safety
rules and stuff - but then when you're all together in the tent at night,
you can stop being so stern, stop being so distant and aloof.  Then you can
show that, while ten year's older than them, you feel like they do.  You're
a bit scared to be so far away from what you know; that you're as lonely as
hell; that you need as much affection as they do.  And so when Toby is
sucking my cock in front of them, while they're doing their thing with each
other, they look over at me and I smile.  I don't feel ashamed or
embarrassed to be like that: I'm just showing that I need someone else with
me; that the affection and trust we feel for each other runs a lot deeper
than just being climbing-mates."

They went quiet for a minute and I looked at Simon.  He looked at my briefs
like he wanted me to pull them off.  I said, "I'll just brush my teeth,"
and then I walked out to the bathroom.

As I squirted toothpaste onto my brush, I heard Vaughan say, "I remember
one of the nicest times was when you and I were in Tibet with a group of
fifth-formers.  They were at each other all day - they seemed to really
piss each other off..."

Gould asked, "Was that the time there was eight of them?"

"Yeah.  Eight and the two of us.  All they did was bicker and quarrel.  But
then, at night, their arguments would fizzle out and their need for
affection would just take over.  We'd have an hour of quietness before we
went to sleep.  They'd been on a few trips before and were totally happy
with the idea of coupling up together as a way of settling down for the
night.  I think you and I joined in on maybe the first or second night -
usually it takes a while longer for us all to get to know the lads well
enough."

Gould laughed.  "That was the time that - one night towards the end of the
trip - two of them started fucking and one of the other guys said we should
report them to the school for it."

I laughed as I spat toothpaste down the sink.  I heard Simon ask, "What did
you do?"

There was a pause and then Gould said, the smirk on his face obvious from
his voice, "Well, we reported it to the school.  Like good little
teachers."

I walked out of the bathroom and laughed again.  "Yeah, right..."

Vaughan said, "We can tell them what we really did.  They're not gonna make
a big thing of it..."

Gould shook his head.  "I dunno... it was kind of... you know... out of
order..."  I noticed Vaughan was a lot closer to Gould.  His chest was
pressed up against the other guys' back and his arm was holding onto
Gould's chest more tightly.  Gould's cock was now fully erect and pulsing
upwards in mid-air in front of his stomach.

Simon piped up, "No, go on.  We're not gonna spread it round.  You've
already got our word on that..."

Vaughan said, "It wasn't, like, anything immoral.  It just links in with
what we said earlier... that once the lads start something, we feel that
it's okay to join in."  He said to Gould, "Should I tell them?"

Gould laughed.  "I think you just did."

Vaughan smiled.  "Okay.  This guy was going on about it being 'disgusting'
and the two who'd started fucking were really embarrassed.  I don't know
how we hadn't noticed but one of them had slipped a condom on.  Then they'd
got together in the sleeping bag and one of them had climbed onto the
other's back.  I mean, that was pretty common - for lads to get into each
other's sleeping bags and hug each other from the front or from behind.
But with these two, they started humping and it became pretty clear that
one guy had his cock inside the other lad's arse.

"So this other lad - he was called Jason or something - started going on
and on about it even though Brendan and I were telling him just to be cool
with it.  We were trying to persuade him that it's just something that guys
do when they're in close confines.  But he wouldn't shut up and then the
lad who had been getting fucked started crying.

"It was looking pretty bad.  An argument like that can ruin a trip.  When
you're halfway up a mountain and have to trust each other one-hundred
percent to get back down, an argument like that have big repercussions..."

Gould nodded.  "Yeah.  I think, when you put it like that, we did the only
thing that could have defused the situation..."

Vaughan went on, his hips gently grinding into Gould's arse, "Brendan
agreed to report it and said that the guys would be in serious trouble when
we got back.  I was a bit surprised but, obviously, I thought I'd better go
along with him.  Brendan said something like... er... what was it you
said?"

Gould took up the story, "I said, 'I want to make it clear that none of you
are ever to get into the position Mr Vaughan is getting into now...'"

Vaughan chuckled, "Yeah.  That's right.  I remember looking over at him and
he winked at me.  So I got out of my sleeping back, naked and still
half-hard, and got on all fours in the middle of the tent.  All the lads
were looking at me.  Jason was nodding wisely, like this was part of a
science demonstration."

Gould went on, "Then I said, 'And - if you see another guy in the tent do
that - you're not to do this.'"

Vaughan carried on, "He reached and pulled a condom out of his rucksack and
got out of his sleeping back.  His cock was totally hard."  He saw Simon
and I glance down at Gould's cock and reached down to have a feel of it.
He laughed, "Just like it is now, actually!"

Simon and I grinned and Vaughan withdrew his hand, replacing it on his
friend's light fuzz of chest hair.

Gould said, "I tore open the condom and rolled it down my cock.  I couldn't
really believe what I was about to do, but like I say, I think it was the
right thing given our circumstances..."

Vaughan nodded.  "By this stage Jason was looking a bit confused.  The
science demonstration was taking an unpredictable turn..."

The four of us chuckled.

Gould went on, "I edged forwards behind Toby and positioned my cock between
his bum cheeks.  Then I said, 'And doing this is totally against school
rules.'  I pushed it in - "

"You used some lube.  Something out of your rucksack.  There's no way it
would have gone in if you hadn't..."

Gould laughed.  "Oh yeah.  I used something - I don't remember what.  But I
managed to get it in and Toby gasped like I'd stabbed him or something."

Vaughan protested, "Come on - it wasn't exactly an easy fit.  To be honest,
I wasn't sure I was gonna be able to take it..."

"But then I heard him say to the lads, 'I hope you're taking all this in.
I know I am.' and I figured he couldn't be in that much pain."

We all laughed and then Gould continued.  "I kept telling them to follow
what I was doing so that they'd know what not to do.  I started fucking
him, thrusting in and out, telling them to be careful to understand exactly
what was going on."

Vaughan said, "And I was saying, 'You must never do anything like this.
This is a totally unnatural thing for hiking mates to do.'"

Gould concluded, "The guys who'd been caught fucking were both laughing by
now and the others were pretty amused too.  Jason - or whatever he was
called - lightened up a bit.  He smiled and shrugged and said, 'Okay.
Point taken'.  I don't think he actually tried it while we were on that
trip, but by the upper sixth he was well into it - and, from what I heard,
he didn't restrict it to hiking trips.  He turned out to be a fantastic
climber too.  I remember that."

Simon asked, "Did any of the other guys try it?"

Vaughan said, "Yeah.  I think so.  It's not, like, a totally common thing
to see when you're camping with guys, but it's common enough for me not to
remember who did what where."

I nodded.

Simon looked at me and then, going a little red, stood up and pulled off
his briefs.  His cock was fully hard and sprung back upwards from them like
a diving board.  It was about six inches long and fairly thin, with the
ruby-like bell-end glistening from his retracted foreskin.

I followed his lead and took my briefs off.  My cock was also fully hard
and arched upwards at a length of about eight inches.  Gould and Vaughan
just lay there, watching us.

I lay down on the bed and gestured for Simon to lie in front of me.  He did
so and, like Vaughan had done to Gould, I reached over his chest and
caressed it.  It was smooth and hairless and the muscles beneath the skin
were nicely defined.

Simon asked, "If Seb and I were to... you know... try something like
that..."

Now it was my turn to be surprised.

He went on, "I'm not saying we would... but if we did... would you be okay
with it... would you join in?"

Vaughan smiled and Gould got off the bed.  He went over to his rucksack and
pulled out a packet of condoms from it.  Then he walked over to us, his
hard cock swaying from side to side in front of him, and put a few of the
condoms on the bedside table near the bed we were sitting on.

He said, "If you're gonna do that, you'd better use these."

He walked back over to his own bed and laid the half-full box on their
bedside table and said, "And if we join in, we'll do the same."

Vaughan got off the bed and went over to his holdall.  I finally got to see
his cock and was amazed.  It was easily the biggest cock I'd ever seen.  It
curved upwards to a length of nine or ten inches.  It wasn't too thick -
probably not even as thick as mine, never mind Gould's - but it's length
made it look like a monster.

He bent down to reach into his bag, showing us his round hairy buttocks,
and then walked over to our bed with his cock arching spectacularly in
front of him.  He placed a bottle of baby oil on our bedside table and then
went back over to join Gould.

Gould got back on the bed and gave us a serious look.  "Condoms aren't
necessarily about AIDS or whatever.  They're just good sense.  Cleaner."

Simon and I nodded.

Gould lay back and left space for Vaughan in front of him.  Vaughan got
back onto the bed and this time Gould pressed his chest up against
Vaughan's back.  His hand reached round to caress Vaughan's densely hairy
chest and then worked its way down to the thick fur of his stomach.

Vaughan said, his face now the most serious it had been all evening, "If
you want we can pull the duvet over us, if this is freaking you out.  Or we
can turn off the light."

Simon and I both said 'no' at the same time.

And after that we lay there in silence, me stroking Simon's chest and
stomach; Gould stroking Vaughan's.  I pressed my chest against Simon's back
and he ground his bum into my cock.  It felt good and I slowly rubbed
myself along the length of his arse cleft.

After a minute or so I ventured to work my hand down to his cock.  Vaughan
watched me, smiling.  Gould's eyes were closed.

When I touched Simon's stiff cock he gasped.  Gould didn't open his eyes
but he knew what I'd done.  He took the cue and reached down with his own
hand, wrapping his fingers around Vaughan's long curving stem.  Vaughan
closed his eyes.

Then I started masturbating Simon, slowly and gently, and Gould did the
same to Vaughan.

It was like looking into a mirror; a mirror with an altered timeframe.
Everything I did, Gould did.  When Simon reached behind me to caress my
arse as I wanked him, Vaughan did the same to Gould.  Our actions were
alike but their bodies were older, more muscular, more hairy; their cocks
larger.

I thought about Simon being gay and worried whether, after his sullenness
during the afternoon and evening, this might be screwing him up.  But from
everything he'd said to Gould and Vaughan, from his actions last night and
his erection tonight, it was clear that this was what he wanted.

My final doubts were dispelled when, turning to look at me with a smile, he
said, "This is so cool!"

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Will be continued

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