Date: Sat, 16 Apr 2005 21:00:15 -0600
From: Patrick Rupert <patrickgay18@hotmail.com>
Subject: Into His Own (chapter 4)

"Where am I?  Where the fuck am I?  Let me go!  I didn't do anything!  Why
are you keeping me here?  I can't see!  I can't see!"

Jason couldn't see what was going on.  Everything was black, but he knew
his eyes were open.  He could hear himself talking, but it didn't sound
like him.

"Jason relax, just relax."

Jason could feel hands all over him holding him down.  Voices were all
around him and trying to make him calm down.  He didn't know the voices,
but they all seemed to know him.

"Stop it!  Stop it!"  Jason suddenly felt really calm and his whole body
was tingling.  He relaxed, but didn't fall asleep.  He could still hear the
voices.

"Call the doctor.  Why can't I see?"  It was a women's voice that answered
him.

"Jason just relax, the doctor will explain everything after they call your
parents."

"Doctor?  Jason Bell has woken up.  Yes, yes doctor."  Jason heard a phone
hang up and there were a lot of footsteps moving around.

Jason must have sat there for about twenty minutes with the nurse holding
his hand and talking about how he felt.  At one point when Jason asked her
what had happened, she had started to cry.  He was confused, and didn't
know what was going on, when suddenly he heard a voice he recognized in the
hallway.

"Mom?"  Jason sat up in bed and tried to look around.

"Jason?  Oh my god, he's awake!  My son's awake."  A man's voice was
speaking, and Jason would have rather spoken to his mother.

"Jason is very confused right now Mrs. Bell.  His eyesight hasn't come back
to him yet, and he doesn't know what's going on."

"Oh my god, he can't see?"

"No not yet."

"Let me go in and explain to him."

"You can come in but you have to stay calm; it's better that way for
Jason."

"Ok."  Jason heard the footsteps come in, and he could tell there was one
person on each side of him.

"Jason can you hear me?"  His mother grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"Mom!"  Jason leaned up and reached out for his mother, searching for her
with his hands.  His right hand found his mother's neck and he pulled
himself in and wrapped his arms around his mother.  "Mom, I'm scared!"

"I know Jason, I know.  Jason this is Dr. Wilkins; he wants to talk to you
for a couple of minutes."  A hand on the other side of the bed wrapped
around his right upper arm and pulled him down to the bed.

"Jason I need you to listen to me very closely.  Do you remember that day
in your closet?"  He couldn't see, but he still put his head down in shame.

"Yes."

"So you remember what happened?"

"Yes."

"Jason I want you to listen to me carefully.  The date is May, twenty
third, two thousand four.  You've been in a coma for a little over fifteen
months.  Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

"No!  No that's not possible!  There's no way!"  Jason's mother gripped
Jason's arm harder."

"It's true Jason."

"No!"  Jason pushed his legs over the side of the bed and got off.  His
legs felt like Jell-O and he could barely walk.  The doctor put both his
hands on Jason's upper arms and got his face close.

"Jason it's true ok?  It's true, whether you want to believe it or not."
Jason pushed the doctor and heard him fall over.  Jason moved as fast as he
could.  He had his hands out in front of him feeling for where he heard the
people come into the room.  He felt the door and stepped out into the
hallway.  He had his arms out and was trying to get away.  He didn't know
where he was going or where he wanted to go but he had to get out of there.
He hadn't gone more than five feet, when he heard people running towards
him.  Jason's mother's voice rang through Jason's ears.

"No don't!  Just give him some time and room."  Jason felt people tackle
him to the ground and pull up the back of his hospital gown.  Jason didn't
know what they were doing and he didn't like it.  There must have been five
of them.  He started punching and kicking.  His left elbow connected with
someone and he heard them scream.

"Jason, calm down!  They're here to help!"

Jason kept hitting and yelling.  Suddenly he felt a lot more hands on him
and they turned him over.  Jason was screaming but there was so many of
them.  Jason felt a prick in his right butt cheek and then stinging.  They
had stuck Jason with a needle filled with something made to put him to
sleep.  Jason had that old familiar feeling come over him and Jason passed
out and all went dark again.

Jason knew he wasn't awake but he could hear the voices in his sleep.

"We didn't have a choice.  Sometimes when people come out of comas they can
sometimes hurt themselves from the shock.  Not all of the time, just
sometimes.  What we did was for his own good."

"Yea I know; it just scared me."

"Mrs. Bell, you think that scared you?  Well with all of the changes that
have been going on in Jason's world, he's going to be as scared as he's
ever been.  This is going to be a hard time for him, what with his father,
the marriage, the changes with his body and seeing all of his friends
again, this is going to be very hard on him.  At first he won't
understand."

Jason was awake now and he opened his eyes.

"Oh god!  Turn out the lights!"

"He's awake and he has his eyesight back.  Nurse, dim the lights."

Jason was rubbing his hands in his eyes and groaning.  His eyes were open a
little and the faintest light was coming through but it felt like the sun.
His eyes focused and he opened them the rest of the way.  He looked around
at his surroundings.  There was a man on the right side of him.  He had
brown hair; brown eyes, fair skin and he must have been in his fifties.

The more Jason looked at him the more he thought the man looked like George
Clooney.  The man was giving Jason an awkward smile and had his hands in
his own lap.  He looked to his left and saw his mother.  She was just as
she always was except for a few changes.  Her hair wasn't blond anymore; it
was brown and she had lost weight, considerable weight.

"Mom?"

"Yea Jason it's me."

"You're thinner, and your hair...?"

"Yea Jason I know."

"Where am I mom?"

"You're in an institute for coma patients."

"How long exactly, have I been here?"

"Fifteen months.  Jason your eyes are going to hurt for a couple of days.
You haven't used them in over a year."

"Mom, I, I want to go home."

"I know you do Jason, and we will soon."

"Jason before we let you leave, you have to put in four hours on a
treadmill for your legs; every patient has to go through that, after coming
out of a coma.  If you're still not convinced, we have a copy of today's
newspaper you can look at if you like?"

"No doctor, I believe you."

"Jason we also have this tape. If you want to watch it, the tape is started
when the person goes into the coma, and stopped the day they come out.
It's just all of the recent events that took place during the coma."

"Doctor can I have some time alone with my mother please?"

"Yes of course."  The doctor got up and walked out of the room.

"Mom, has it really been that long since that day in my...since that day?"

"Yea Jason it has."

"Where's dad?"

"He wanted to be here Jason, but he had to be at the hospital.  You might
not believe this but Breana, Paul's wife, had a baby about ten minutes
before you woke up."

"Oh yea?  What was it?"

"It was a boy."

"So I'm an uncle?"

"Yea Jason."

"Well what did they name him?"

"They named him Jason."  Jason looked down and started to cry.

"Mom what happened to me?"

"Jason what ever happened in your room over a year ago, caused you to go
into a coma.  We've been by your side every second; we came to see you
almost every day.  Jason, what happened that day in your closet?"  Jason
put his head down.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Jason, eventually were going to have to know what happened.  I know to you
this feels like it happened just yesterday, but we've gone a whole year
without knowing."  He looked up at his mother.

"Wait, they didn't catch him?"

"Who, Jason who?"

"I...I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok Jason, but eventually you'll have to talk about it."

"I know mom.  Mom, when can I get started on the treadmill?"

"I don't really know.  I'll go and talk to the doctor and I'll be back in
like, five minutes, ok honey?"

"Yea mom, ok."  Jason's mother got up and walked out of the room to go find
the doctor.

Jason sat up in bed and threw his legs over the side of the bed.  He stood
up and had to grab onto the bed to keep from falling over.  He braced
himself and started walking around the bed, reaching the other side of the
bed to the point where he couldn't walk any more, then turned around and
make his way back to the other side.  Jason really wanted to get in his
four hours so he could go home, and be done with all of this.  He had
walked from one side of the bed to the other about seven times, when his
mother and the doctor walked in the room.

"Hey he's almost walking normal."  Jason sat down on the bed and was
breathing heavily.

"So doctor, when can I start on the treadmill?"

"Let's get some solid food in you and then you can get started."  A nurse
brought in a tray of food and pushed it in front of Jason.  Jason dug in he
hadn't had solid food in over a year.  The doctor told Jason that on the
day when a patient woke up the cook made them whatever they wanted to eat.
Jason had ordered Mexican Salad.

"It's a dish that has kidney beans, tortilla chips, cheese, lettuce, and
salad dressing.  It's all mixed together and it's really good."

Jason ate it like he hadn't ever eaten before.  It was delicious.  Jason
finished eating and his mother tried to help him down to the room with the
treadmills.  It took Jason over twenty minutes to walk down the hall and
around the corner, but he made it.  He got to the room and immediately
walked over to the nearest treadmill and turned it onto the lowest speed.

It caught Jason by surprise and he tripped and fell.  He landed on his
right side and bounced off the treadmill onto the floor.  His mother came
running over to help him and Jason started to push himself up.  He knew
that he had to do this on his own to be released, so his mother couldn't
help him.  Jason's mother bent over to pick him up and he shouted at her.

"No!  Don't touch me!"

"Jason let me just help you..."

"No don't fucking touch me!"  Jason got up and got back on the treadmill.
He held onto the handrail and started walking.  His mother turned and
walked out of the room.  In about twenty minutes he was starting to walk
normally, and he knew that his legs just had to remember walking and he
could get it down.

Jason had been on the treadmill for three hours and he was exhausted.
Sweat was running down his chest and back.  He was panting but he only had
one more hour to go.  The doctor came in and walked over to Jason.

"Jason as a doctor, I need to recommend you take a twenty-minute break."

"No I'm fine just give me one more hour, then I can go home."

"Jason please this isn't healthy."

"I don't care.  Give me one more hour; I'm almost done."  The doctor turned
around and started walking away.  He got to the door and put his hand on
the frame.  The doctor almost turned around but then walked out of the
room.

Jason sped up the treadmill and started walking faster as he thought about
what had happened to him.  He had to get even; he had to get revenge.  The
people who did this to him had to get what they deserved.  He sped the
treadmill up to a run and started jogging quickly.  He ran at nearly full
speed for almost forty-five minutes, and then turned off the treadmill.

Jason collapsed on the couch, and just lay there panting.  He laid there
for five minutes and the doctor walked in followed by a nurse pushing a
wheel chair.  Jason saw them come in and he shut his eyes.

"Jason are you awake?"

"Yes."

"Are you ready to go home?"

"Yea."  Jason sat up first then stood up.

"Do you want to use the wheel chair Jason?"

"No I can walk."  Jason stood up and walked past the doctor to the door.
He walked out the door and he could hear the doctor following right behind
him.  His chest hurt, he felt like he was about to die.

"Take your next left, Jason; you'll see the desk at the end of the
hallway."  Jason rounded the corner and could see his mother standing next
to the desk at the end of the hall.  He walked up to her and she put out
her arms for a hug.  He walked past her stopping right behind her.

"Can we go now?"  Jason's mother almost turned around but stopped.

"Yea Jason, let's go home."  Jason sat down and his mother finished filling
out the rest of the paper work.  The doctor came and sat down next to him.

"Jason, I have already spoken with your mother about this, and I need to
see you here once a month every month, for six months.  I'm also giving you
a number for a therapist that I want you to see once every two weeks, also
for six months."  Jason took the paper from the doctor and crumpled it into
his pocket.

"Can we go mom?"

"Yea we can go."  Jason's mother started walking away, and Jason followed.
Jason didn't want to hurt his mom even with all of the stuff going on.
Jason walked up beside his mother and put his left arm around her.

"I love you mom."

"I love you too Jason."  Jason and his mother walked out to their car, but
he couldn't see it in the direction they were walking.

"This is it Jason."  They were standing beside a red Ford Explorer with big
off road tires and silver rims.

"Well where's the Buick?"

"I traded it in for this, what do you think?"

"I like it."  They climbed in and Jason's mother started the engine.  It
revved loudly and his mother started to drive away.

He sat there in the seat feeling very uncomfortable; he must have grown six
inches over the year and his voice was deeper.  Every time Jason spoke he
could hear the voice but it wasn't his voice it was a stranger, he was a
stranger.  His legs felt funny and every time he breathed his chest felt
constricted.

"Mom my chest feels funny."

"Jason, on that day a year ago, you had a lot of bones broken, and because
of the coma, they couldn't operate on your chest as quickly as they wanted
to, and it'll feel tight for a few weeks but they said it should loosen up
a bit."

Jason put both of his hands palm down on his ribs and pushed in.  It didn't
hurt but he felt the pressure ease off and he could breath a little easier.
Jason let go and looked up.  He knew where they were going but it was in
the wrong direction of home.

"Where are we going?"  Jason's mother let out a sigh and she looked over at
him.

"Jason, a lot has happened in the past year.  About eight months after you
were put in the hospital, we sold the house and moved."

"What?"

"Jason we moved."

"But we live there; that's our house."  Jason was confused.

"We're in a different house now, a better bigger house."

"But mom we..."

"Jason we moved; we can't change that!"  Jason knew they couldn't change it
but that was his house he lived there most of his life.  He wanted to go
home but not to some house that wasn't his.  He let out a sigh and just sat
there dreading the next few minutes, when he was going to pull into his new
driveway, and have to go to his new room.

Jason sat there with his head down contemplating everything that had
happened to him.  He was wondering how Jeremy and Brad would take it that
he was awake.  Jason really didn't want to see anyone for a while, but he
also couldn't exactly avoid civilization for the rest of his life, even
though he wanted to.  They rounded a corner and Jason's mother reached over
and grabbed his arm and squeezed.

"That's it Jason, that one there at the end of the street."

Jason looked up it was a huge house.  It must have been three floors and it
must have sat on an acre of land covered in trees.  It was white with red
rose bushes surrounding the entire house.  It was one of those houses that
you would only see in magazines that you didn't really think existed.
There were two vehicles in the driveway; a white dodge truck a blue mini
van.  And there was a black Lexus parked in the street in front of the
house.

"Whose cars are those mom?"

"The Lexus is Nicole's, the mini van is Paul's, and the truck is your
father's."

"Mom, did we come into some money?"

"Um, yea Jason, we did."

"How much exactly?"

"Well, I wanted to wait to tell you this, but your father sold his company
to Dell."

"Really?  How much did he get?"

"Five hundred and fifty thousand dollars."

"No way!"

"Yea, can you believe it?  A representative from Dell showed up at your
fathers company about two months after you went in, and offered to buy them
out."

"Five hundred and fifty thousand?"

"Jason, you have to act surprised, because your father wanted to tell you."

"Ok."  They pulled in next to the Lexus, and they both got out to go
inside.  They got to the front door; Jason's mother grabbed the handle and
looked at Jason.

"You ready Jason?"

"Yea."  Jason didn't really know if he was ready to face what he was about
to face but better sooner than later.  Jason's mother opened the door and
they both stepped into a huge living room.  It had white carpet; the walls
were white, and the ceiling had dome lights all over it.  All of the
furniture he knew was there, and some new stuff.  He could see into part of
the kitchen.  It was white like the rest of the house, and there was a
little bit of light coming through.  He started walking around the house
looking at everything, inspecting his new home.

Jason walked into the kitchen and there was a burst of noise.  SURPRISE!
Nicole and Paul were there, and Breana was sitting in a chair holding his
new nephew.  Jason's father, Henry, was there holding a huge cake all lit
up on top by candles and welcome home was spelled in chocolate frosting.
All of them walked over to him.  They were patting Jason on the back and
telling him how good it was to see him.  But he couldn't really say it was
good to see them because to him the fight they had had just happened
yesterday to him, not a year ago.

Jason really wanted to see his nephew.  He walked over and Breana was just
sitting there smiling at him, rocking little Jason slowly.  Jason, meet
your nephew, Jason.  He was staring at little Jason; who was just lying
there, his eyes closed and his hand in his mouth.  Jason hadn't ever seen a
baby that young that was already sucking his thumb.

"Do you want to hold him?"  Jason put out his arms, and Breana laid little
Jason in Jason's arms.  Jason was careful to support little Jason's head.
He was beautiful, so small and fragile Jason knew he could be hurt easily.
His life was so small and fragile he had just come into this world and he
was probably just as confused as Jason.  Tears swelled up in Jason's eyes
and dripped down Jason's cheeks.  Jason looked up at his mother.

"It's not fair mom, it's not fair."

"I know Jason; do you want to see your room?"

"Yea."  Jason gave back little Jason and followed his mother into the
living room.

There was a staircase going up and they both started up it.  They got to
the top and Jason's mother opened the door.  There was a small hallway
maybe fifteen feet and a window at the end.  The attic entrance was on the
roof from the look of it; it was stairs that pulled down.  It was an odd
setup there was a door on the left and a door on the right.  The hallway
was painted white and well lit.  It had plush carpet.  Jason's mother went
to the door on the left and pushed it open.

"This is your bathroom."  It had white walls, white tile, and a very large
tub.  The tub was clearly big enough for three or four, and had jets like
his old one.  There was a small sink, a stand up shower and some storage
space.  Jason's mother opened the other door, which was Jason's room.

"Here's your room."  It was huge, almost twice as big as his other room.
All of his old things were there; most of them still in boxes.  It had a
walk in closet like his other room.

"I will leave you here for a while; go ahead and rest, or unpack, or do
whatever you want.  Dinner will be ready in about an hour and there's cake
downstairs if you want it.  Jason we have a lot of things to talk about.
Ok?"

"Ok mom."  Jason's mother kissed Jason on the forehead, gave him a hug, and
went back downstairs.

He walked into his room and sat on his bed.  It felt like a dream to Jason;
something that couldn't possibly be happening or real.  An hour ago, he
didn't want to see anybody, but now Jason was thinking that he really
wanted to see Jeremy right now.  He didn't want to go through this alone.
Jason was sure his cell phone had been turned off.  He'd had another phone
once; a cordless that plugged into the wall.  Jason got up and started
going through his boxes.  It must have been the forth box he was going
through and he found it he pulled it out and plugged it in next to his bed.
Jason turned it on and heard the dial tone.  He dialed slowly.
5...4...4...8...8...5...0.  The phone started to ring.  It rang four times
and a voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Is Jeremy there?"

"Jason?"

"Yea it's me."

"Brad, it's Jason!"  Jason heard a voice in the background.

"Jeremy that's not funny?"

"No I'm serious it's him.  Jason this is Jeremy when did you get home?"

"I've been home about thirty minutes."

"Oh yea?  What do you think of the place?"

"It's ok I guess."

"Jason, Brad and me want to come and see ya if we can?"

"Well, not today.  I have some things I need to get done, but you can come
over tomorrow."

"Well then, we'll come and see ya about noon tomorrow."

"Ok Jeremy, see ya then."

"Jason, wait.  Have you seen it yet?"

"Seen what?"

"Go look in the garage."

"What do you mean, 'go look in the garage'?"

"Just do it Jason."

"Ok I will."

"Bye Jason, see ya tomorrow."

"Ok bye."  Jason got up and started walking downstairs.  He stopped at the
bottom of the stairs and was listening to the people talking.

"Why isn't he down stairs with us?"

"We just need to give him some time Paul; this is a very confusing time for
Jason."

Everybody was silent for a minute and Jason heard his father talking.

"I'm just glad to have him home."

"Me too dear, me too."  Jason walked into the living room and stood next to
the couch.

"Mom?"  They didn't know he was there so they all kind of jumped and
turned.

"Yea Jason?"

"I just got off the phone with Jeremy, and he told me to go look in the
garage.  What's in the garage?"  Every body sitting in the living room got
these big grins on their faces.

"You haven't told him yet mom?"

"I completely spaced it out Paul."  His mother and father stood up and
started walking to the garage, Jason following his mother, and his father
behind him.  His mother opened the garage door and stepped in.  They were
all standing in the garage, but they couldn't see anything, because it was
completely dark.  Jason could tell there was something there but he
couldn't make out what it was.  It was defiantly filling the whole garage
but it was just too dark.

Jason's father turned on the light and Jason saw it.  It was a black ford
F3 fifty duel shocks extended cab long bed.  Jason just stood there staring
at it.

"Jason we got it for you on your sixteenth birthday."

"No way!"  Jason's dad walked over and put his hand on Jason's shoulder.

"Yea way Jason, it's yours."

"Can I drive it?"

"Well not yet; we're going to go next week and get your license."  Jason
had driven many times he knew all of the rules and he had been driving for
years.  He was actually going to take his driving test in like two weeks,
then all of this happened.

"Well can I sit in it?"

"Yea go ahead."  Jason opened the door and climbed in.  The seats were
black and were comfortable.  There was a CD player, ac, power windows and
seats.  He sat there and gripped the steering wheel.  The key was already
in the ignition so Jason turned it starting the truck.  It revved loudly
and he just loved it.  He jacked up the stereo on his favorite station and
some Eminem came on he hadn't heard this before but he knew it was him.

Paul came out the door and ran up to the truck.  "Jason is sleeping."

"Oh sorry."  He turned off the truck and it went quiet again.  Paul walked
up and put one hand on the truck.

"Jason.  This baby will do zero to sixty in just less than four seconds.
It's got a hemi and duel exhaust."

"Pretty sweet huh Paul?"

"Yea."

"Hey, maybe if mom and dad will let us, we will take it out tonight.  Jason
got all excited and stuck his head out the window.

"Can we mom, please?"

"Yea if it's ok with your father."

"Yea sure as long as Paul drives."

"Yes!"  Jason knew that Paul would let him drive they just had to get out
there first.  Jason stayed in his truck for about twenty minutes fiddling
with everything.  He loved his truck, but dinner was ready.  They all went
inside but Jason didn't see any sign of any dinner being made.

"What are we having mom?"

"Oh, I should have told you, we ordered pizza."

"Fife hundred fifty thousand dollars, and we order pizza?"

"Molly I can't believe you told him."

"He was asking a lot of questions."

He was about to say something else but the doorbell rang.  Paul went to the
door paid for the pizza and brought it in.  They all ate talking about the
year's events and catching up Jason on the world.  Paul was sitting next to
him, and Breana and he put his hand on his shoulder.

"So Jason, what was it like?"

"What do you mean?"

"The coma.  What was it like?  Did you dream?"  Jason didn't dream, but he
didn't want to talk about it.  His mother set down her glass and stared at
Paul.

"Paul, let him eat!"

"Mom I was just asking!"

"Well Jason has already made it very clear he doesn't want to talk about it
yet."

"Mom I was just asking, and Jason can speak for himself.  So come on Jason
what was it like?"  Jason's father shouted across the table at Paul.

"Paul!  Knock it off!  Jason set down his food and looked at his father.

"No dad it's ok.  Paul?  You want to know what it was like?  Imagine this.
You've just taken a shower and gotten out; you're getting dressed and
somebody walks into your closet with you.  You try to run, but they catch
you and beat you.  They beat you, and handcuff you to your own clothes
rack.  Then right as they're about to leave, they pick up your baseball
bat, and start beating the shit out of you.  They break your ribs and both
your legs.  You're still awake, and there's nothing you can do because
you're still handcuffed.  With every blow of the bat, a bone breaks and the
most intense pain you've ever felt rushes through your body.  Then you
black out.  Then you wake up over a year later and you don't live in the
house you lived in for fourteen years; your brother is married and has a
son, and your dad sold his company and you have money never even thought of
before.  Imagine that Paul."

Jason stood up and walked out of the room.  Jason could hear the voices
talking downstairs.

"Dad I never meant to..."

"Stop it Paul, just stop!"  Jason climbed the stairs to his room and sat on
the bed and laid back.  He laid there for about twenty seconds, and his
door opened.  His mother walked in and sat on the bed next to him.

"You know Jason, Paul didn't mean anything by..."

"I know mom, but you don't get it, and I don't mean to go off on the family
like that; it's just...yesterday I lived in the other house and my brother
wasn't married.  This isn't my life."

 "Jason I know how hard this is for you."

"No you don't, nobody does."

"I know Jason, but if we stick together we can get through it."

"Yea mom, I know it's just this isn't my life; it's borrowed."

"Jason do you want to see any of your friends?"

"No mom not today, but maybe tomorrow."

"Ok, well we will be downstairs if you need anything."  Jason's mother
walked out and he could hear her talking in the hallway.

"Yea mom I know; I just want to talk to him."

"Ok."  Paul walked in the room and closed the door behind him.  Paul stood
at the door.

"Ya know Jason, we didn't know what happened to you; we've all sat around
for a year just wondering.  I mean you can imagine how that looked.  Mom
and dad finding you like that in women's underwear, with all of that stuff
in your trunk.  We only had theories and ideas.  I don't know how this must
be for you, but I can understand we can all loose are heads some times."
"A few months ago we were all at the hospital celebrating your birthday.
Mom had a cake, some presents, and cards from grandma and grandpa.  I had
given up that you might wake up and had grown to think that you never
would.  I got mad and went off on mom and dad saying that you weren't going
to wake up, and that they were all dreaming.  I stormed out, but before I
did, I had said some things I ended up regretting.  We all get hot we were
all worried about you.  None of us knew how to deal with it, and now that
you're awake we still don't know how to deal with it."

Jason just sat there looking at his brother his face expressionless.

"Jason, I still want to take you driving tonight if you want to go.  And
between you and me, as soon as we get out there, you're going to drive and
were going mudding."

"Yea Paul I still want to go."  Jason stood up and walked over to Paul.
Paul took Jason in his arms and was hugging him.

"I love you buddy."

"I love you too Paul."  They let go and Jason wiped his eyes.

"I'm going to be downstairs with everybody.  Come down and have some cake
with us."  Jason and Paul both went downstairs and cut the cake.  Jason ate
away from the rest of the family but still stayed in the conversation.  It
was funny how much they had all changed in one year.  Paul was more
responsible; Nicole was less worried about every little detail and Jason
could tell she was happier.  His mother was happier, and she looked great.
Jason's father was thinner. He has always been thin, but now he was really
scrawny and pale.  Jason thought about it and realized that they all did
look happier.  Jason was confused and scared but he hadn't even thought of
what his coma had done to these people, the people he loved.  As he sat
there they all talked about little Jason, the money and the plans they had
for it, and Jason being awake and all of the things they were going to do
as a family.

"Nicole?"

"What Jason?"

"Where's Dennis?"  Dennis was Nicole's husband and Jason didn't see him
anywhere.  Dennis and Jason had always gotten along, and Jason wondered
where he was.

"Oh Jason, he wanted to be here, but he had to fly up to New York three
days ago for business."

"Oh ok."

He looked over everyone before saying what he really wanted to.

"Look I need to apologize to everyone for how I acted earlier, it was
stupid.  For me it's just been two days not over a year.  You guys have
grown and changed and I'm just me and I'm sorry."  He looked down for a
second before looking back up.

"I have to go and finish my room thanks for the cake."  Jason went upstairs
to get started on his room, unpacking his boxes, and moving his furniture.
Jason had just moved his bed when his door opened.  Paul walked in and sat
down on Jason's couch.

"Hey Paul, what can I do for you?"

"Jason, what you said downstairs earlier, is that what really happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it Paul."

"Jason we care for you is that what happened?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it and I don't want you to ever ask
about it again."

"Ok Jason, but some day you're going to have to talk about it with
someone."

"I know Paul but today isn't that day."

"Ok, ok.  Do you still want to go driving tonight?"

"Yea."  "Ok well, we'll go in about an hour.  Oh, and Jason, mom and dad
respect you.  And, well, everything that was inside your room at the time
of the accident, they packed.  Even the stuff that was in that trunk.
Jason, mom said it about two weeks after your accident.  She doesn't care
if you're gay, and neither do we.  Are you gay Jason?"  Jason was quiet,
and just kept unpacking his boxes.  He didn't want to answer, so he just
kept unpacking and tried not to make eye contact.

"Are you gay Jason?"

Jason threw a pile of junk on his bed and shrugged with his head down.  I
don't know if I am... maybe I guess."

"You really don't know?"

"Some stuff happened a few days before... I mean I've thought about it but
I don't want o hurt mom and dad."

"Jason your sexuality isn't a problem for them."

"Can we not talk about this right now?"

"Sure Jason.  Before I forget mom and dad put a wake up present in one of
your boxes.  It's quite the gift Jason.  I will be back up in about
forty-five minutes to get you."  Paul turned for the door and stopped.

"You know you can talk to me right?"

"Yea sure Paul."

Paul walked out and went downstairs.

Jason finished moving his furniture and started more on the boxes.  It was
about the sixth box when Jason opened it up and pulled out a small paper
bag.  Jason didn't remember the brown bag being his.  Jason opened the bag
and felt inside.  As soon as Jason touched it he knew what it was.  Jason
wrapped his fingers around it and pulled it out.  It was a big roll of cash
with a rubber band wrapped around it.  Jason ran down the stairs and into
the living room.

"How much is this dad?"  They smiled and stood up.

"That's one thousand, two hundred dollars.  It's your allowance for the
time you were asleep.  We never stopped paying it.  We put it in a brown
bag that we kept in the kitchen."

"Wait, let me get this straight.  You're giving me a thousand dollars?"

"Yep it's yours."

"Sweet!"

"Jason?  We filmed your birthday party if you want to see it."

Jason had remembered what his brother had said about what he did at his
birthday party.

"Do you mind if I watch it upstairs?"

"No Jason that's ok."  Jason's mother went over to a cupboard and pulled
out two tapes.  "This one is your birthday, and this one is Paul's and
Breana's wedding."  His mother handed them both to Jason and he went back
upstairs.

Jason put the tape of his birthday in his VCR and pressed play.  The screen
was nothing but white fuzz and then the picture came in.  They were in a
hospital room and they were all around Jason.  The camera was on his
mother, and she was holding his hand.  'Jason it's your seventeenth
birthday; we just dropped your gift at home and we're all going to eat some
cake and sing happy birthday.'  They were all there.  Jason's mother and
father, Nicole, Paul and Breana; even Dennis.  They were all singing 'happy
birthday' and they didn't sound too bad as a group.  They finished singing
and everyone had tears in their eyes.  His mother leaned in and kissed him
on the forehead.  'Happy birthday dear.'  At that moment the camera cut out
and went to fuzz again.

Jason sat there thinking they must have edited the tape.  The tape was only
about five minutes long but it was nice to know people hadn't forgot about
him.  He took time to unpack the rest of his things and get his things in
order.  In the last box Jason opened it and looked in.  It was all of the
stuff Jason found in his trunk on that night a year ago.  The porno
magazines, the vibrators, and all the other toys Jason hadn't really wanted
to see.

Jason walked into his closet and started to set the box down next to his
trunk.  'What am I doing I don't think I want these things,' he thought.
Jason's trunk was open and his bedroom door opened.

"Jason?"  It was Paul.  With out even thinking, Jason dumped the box in his
trunk, closed the lid and locked it.

"I'm in here Paul."  Paul walked in and looked at Jason knelt down on the
floor.

"Well are you coming?"

"Where?"

"Driving.  Ya know that nice truck in the garage?  It's yours.  Let's take
it out for a spin."  Jason got up and they both made for the door.

They got to the truck.  Jason got in the passenger seat, and Paul in the
driver's seat.  He pressed the button in the truck to open up the garage,
it opened quickly.  Paul backed out and started on their way down the road
to go mudding.

"So where we going to go?"

"There's this lot over by the old house, and when it rains it fills with
water.  It rained last night so it should be pretty muddy."  It was dark
outside and they pulled into the lot.  Jason recognized the lot instantly.
It was the lot that Jason and Brad had been to over a year ago.  It didn't
look like it had changed much, but it was muddy and Jason knew he was going
to have fun.

Paul stopped the truck and they switched places Jason in the drivers seat
and Paul in the passenger's seat, and buckled up.  Jason didn't want his
brother Paul to try and explain to him how to drive.  He knew how to drive;
he had done it many times before, but somehow he knew it was coming.

"Hey Jason?"

"Yea Paul?"

"Don't kill us."

'Don't kill us'; that was it.  Not 'there's your brake your gas'. None of
that shit, just 'don't kill us'.

Jason smiled and shifted gears.  It was an automatic but still, it felt
good.  Jason floored it and they peeled out fishtailing.  They were doing
about fifty and he hit the brakes and turned the wheel.  The truck's back
end swung around and mud went everywhere.  Jason turned the wheel all of
the way right and gunned it.  The truck was doing half doughnuts; the truck
going right a little then the back end swinging around to catch up.  Jason
laughed and started doing figure eight's.

The windshield was covered in mud and Jason had to turn on the windshield
wipers.  The mud cleared away and Jason was almost ten feet from the road.
He hit the brakes and turned the wheel.  The truck skidded sideways and to
a halt inches from the road.

"Wow!  Fuck yea!"  They were both screaming and hollering.

"Oh damn Jason, that was close!"

"Yea shit."  They played with the truck in the mud for about fifteen more
minutes and then started off on their way home.  Paul was letting Jason
drive it to the gas station, so they could get it cleaned off.  Jason
started pulling out of the lot and it was a one and a half-foot drop to get
into the lot and now he had to get out.  He made sure nobody was coming and
started at it.  It wouldn't go for a second so he gave it a little more
gas.

"Come on Jason, punch it!  Show that curb who's boss!"  Jason punched it
and the truck climbed the curb with ease.  He got over the curb and turned
left towards the gas station.

"Damn, Paul.  This thing has balls!"

"Yea I know."  They drove to the gas station, the whole time talking about
the fun they just had.  I thought it was going to tip for sure that time.

"And when you almost took out that bench!"  They got to the gas station and
they pulled up to the car wash.

"Now let's get this bitch washed."  They both got up and turned on the
hoses to the car wash.  They had to pay but it didn't matter to them.  They
were hosing off the car when Paul randomly sprayed Jason in the face.

"Oops!  Ya know in my defense, you walked right in front of that one."
Jason spit out the water and held up the hose.

"So if I drowned you the courts can't convict me, right?"

"Oh you don't have the guts."  Jason held down the trigger and got Paul
right in the face and just kept spraying.

"Thirsty Paul?"

"You little shit!"  Paul and Jason started hosing each other down and
laughing.  A cashier came out and made them stop just as they finished
washing down the truck.  They were wet up and down top to bottom.

"Sorry Jason but your truck's going to be really wet."

"No it's not!"

"Oh, what?  We're going to drive it from the bed of the truck?"  Jason
laughed and started taking off his shoes and socks.  He had just taken them
off, when Paul saw what he was doing.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not getting my truck wet and neither are you."  Jason pulled off his
shirt and dropped his pants.  Paul did the same and they both threw their
clothes in the back of the truck.  They were both in their boxers now and
they both climbed in the truck.  Jason started to drive and noticed his
chest thighs and legs.  Jesus, he had put on a few inches.  And he was
pale.  He hadn't seen the sun in over a year, and it didn't look right.
His skin was still darker than most people were.  But it still looked pale
to what it usually was.  They were a few blocks away and Paul spoke up.

"Jason?"  He glanced at Paul and spoke.

"Yea?"

"Jason do you remember when I was sixteen, and you were fourteen, and we
did that thing in the basement that one time?"  Jason knew what Paul was
talking about but he had forgotten it for a long time, after all they only
did it once.

"Umm yea, I guess."

"Does that have anything to do with your choice of lifestyle?"

"Paul, I have never said I was gay."

"Yea, but Jason, I saw the magazines, and the toys in your trunk."

"Paul?"

"What?"

"Don't judge a book by it's cover.  I have never said I was gay; people
just assume.  I'm young, slim good looking.  But I never said I was gay."
They were quiet the rest of the way home until they pulled in and Paul
spoke.

"It's good to have you back Jason."  They both got out and went inside.
Paul and Jason both threw their clothes in a load, and went to the living
room.

"So you guys had fun?"

"Yea."

"Hey mom, I'm really tired.  I'm going to go upstairs and get some sleep."

"Ok Jason, sleep well."  Jason climbed the stairs to his room.  He laid
down in bed and relaxed.  He laid there for only two or three minutes and
fell asleep.