Date: Fri, 4 Feb 2011 22:49:45 -0500
From: J Bark <jbark217@gmail.com>
Subject: It Gets Better at camp

To a friend that I haven't met, in a place that I don't know,

	I want to tell you about a place where I didn't fit in. I'm sure
your first thought would be school. You wouldn't be wrong, but that's not
the place I want to tell you about today. This place, for most people, is a
heaven. A place where they get to explore life in its most basic form,
letting their imaginations run wild over everything there is to do. Camp. A
world of its own and a place where boys and girls have found parts of
themselves that they didn't know they had. Counselors encourage the flames
of creativity as every turn you are inspired to do something new.
	This is not the camp that I got to experience. My high school was
my own form of hell. I liked books, drama, and didn't like foot ball or
soccer. People didn't understand the point in these things, and decided to
tell me what I was. By the end of the school year, I couldn't tell you what
I felt about myself. I knew that somewhere deep down I was attracted to
guys, but I wanted desperately to be attracted girls. Everyone else at my
school had taken it upon themselves to call me "Gay", "homo", and "Fag"
just to name a few. It wasn't easy, and I hated the way the names made me
feel. I didn't have a life, no one wanted to be friends with the assumed
gay guy. A few girls ventured toward friends, but only because they wanted
a fashion savvy, gossipy girl best friend. I couldn't give them those
things. I was quiet and shy; all I wanted to do was get through high
school.
	Then my parents decided that they knew what was best, and thought
it would be a wonderful idea to send me to a two week long summer camp with
a lot of the kids from my school. I protested, but my dad was adamant about
trying to get me to do more things, preferably play a sport. The idea of
this camp was awful, so as I sat on the bus on the way to the actual camp,
you can imagine how I was feeling. The counselor person that was in charge
of the bus told us that we would be assigned to a cabin, and a "camp buddy"
for the new kids. Me. This meant that we would be paired with someone older
then us, and they would be encouraged to hang with us, pass on traditions,
and make our time more fun. This sounded like a horrible idea.
	As we sat in the Camp opening area, I looked around. I recognized a
lot of people and for the most part they had just ignored me. I had
imagined a camp having lots more people. There were maybe a hundred, and
most all of them were from my school. It was going to be a great two
weeks. They called all of the new people one by one and read out who their
buddy was going to be. There were perhaps ten new kids, and I was the last
on the list. As I stood up they all started whispering, a few
snickering. The director read out a name and a small group of boys up front
gasped. They immediately started play punching and jabbing at the boy in
the middle of them. Saying things that all I caught of were "fag" and "his
camp boy friend". This new kid, Andrew, turned looking at me with a half
smile half glare.
        I recognized him only by face. I had seen him around school, but
knew nothing about him. I had never given him any more than a passing
thought. His friends however, the group he was sitting with, were regulars
on my 'to avoid' list. They were main culprits in making my school life
hell. I had never seen him say or do anything before, but if he was friends
with them I didn't think I was going to like having him as my buddy. He
turned back around and the opening ended. My cabin was interesting, typical
camp style cabin, and the counselors seemed nice. Both of them welcomed me
in and started talking to me instantly. I was impressed with the way they
could transition in talking to all of us about all of our interests. One of
them even lent me a book that was one of his favorites. My cabin mates
seemed okay too, they were all new, and most of them were in my grade so it
was pretty much like meeting everyone for real.
	The next day, after breakfast, I rotated through my various
classes. It was really interesting how much there was do at camp, and what
you got to do. Boys were cooking as well as playing soccer, and girls were
singing as well as learning foot ball. It was great. The one class that I
seemed to share with my buddy was an outdoor camping skills class. I wasn't
really able to get into right away, and as attempted to create fire from
two sticks, knowing perfectly well that I wouldn't be caught dead in the
woods without a lighter, he came over. He told me gently that I was doing
it wrong, and when I apologize, he smiled at me and told me not to ever
apologize for trying. I smiled back. I stood up and brushed my dirty hands
off, not only were the sticks dirty, but they were wet. Most everything was
wet; the camp was littered with big puddles of mud strewn about in various
places.
	At lunch, Andrew decided he wanted to sit with me. This was
interesting, and made me smile a little bit. Unfortunately the rest of his
group decided to sit with us as well. Usually I sat with my cabin, but they
were forced away because our table was now full. I shot them apologetic
glances. It's funny how much I didn't want to be around them. I'm sure you
could imagine. These boys were very typical, and being the oldest at camp
seemed to give them more power. I had seen them at the edge of the lake the
other day, horse playing. They turned it on me for staring. I was
furious. Everyone was looking at them, but it somehow made me gay to look
at them. Ridiculous.
        Lunch was almost over, and they decided to join in with Andrew
asking me questions. They started politely, well nice enough anyway. Then
the jokes started, but they asked them as serious as possible. What's your
favorite position? Does it hurt? How wide can you open your mouth?
Questions that insinuated so much more than they actually asked. I don't
know if you can relate. It was the first time I had heard b.s. like this. I
got it in the halls, in the bathrooms, in the locker room and anywhere else
boys felt that their masculinity would be questioned. Andrew threw up a
hand, and the hushed. Even with that bolt of happiness that he had stopped
them, I was still seething. I trashed my plate and left.
	The rest of the day went without event, which was fortunate. Well I
guess that was until it was shower time. I waited until the very last
minute to go shower, seeing as they had four stalls and they were usually
occupied. I was also looking forward to not running into any of the jerks
that would continue to make my life hell. As I walked into the shower, I
heard one running toward the end. The end shower was the best, and the most
closed off, something that you are made aware of the first night. As I
walked by the second to last shower, I paused. If you could see me I'd
probably be blushing. The curtain was open. A nicely tanned person was
standing with his back to me showering. As if on cue, he glanced over his
shoulder at me. The weird thing was, he didn't yell at me or anything with
a faint smile, he closed the curtain.  I showered next to Andrew, and we
stayed quiet. Andrew! I know.
	The next day probably made camp the worst and best place in my
life. I made it all the way to Camping class without incident. Andrew was
helping me again, when one of his 'friends' walked up. He was chatting with
Andrew ignoring me for the most part. As he glanced at me, he might have
seen me watching Andrew. I couldn't help it! He was cute. The boy yelled at
me and then shoved me where I landed in a mud puddle, which covered me
completely.
        Like seriously. Covered. I wanted to scream....So I did.  It hurt
when I tried to stand up too. The boy was shocked, and I'm sure I looked
pissed. He backed away. Andrew grabbed me when I stumbled; apparently I had
twisted my ankle. I hobbled over to the boy, with assistance:), and grabbed
him by the shirt. I asked more or less politely, that the next time he felt
like pushing me to go jump off a cliff. Needless to say he was so
embarrassed by that instance that he never messed with me again. Andrew
helped me to the showers and turned it on for me. He stood by the door and
I hobbled in stripping as best as I could. There was a strange contrast
between the naked skin and the mud covered.
	I got down to my underwear and he stood there staring expectantly
with his hand outstretched. I stared at him like he was crazy. Do you know
what he said? It's only fair. It's only fair! Like I had sneaked a peak at
him on purpose. I'm not a shy kid, so I turned away from him, stripping my
boxers off and throwing them over my shoulder. I heard him pull the curtain
and leave the building. The water felt good, and the mud came off easily.
When he came back, he stood outside the curtain and talked to me. He asked
me things, and then asked me how I was so brave. I told him he was crazy.
He said it was the bravest thing ever to face his friend like that. I stuck
my head out looked him. What was he talking about? I didn't understand.
Then he looked at me and said maybe I should be brave and he leaned in and
kissed me. When he backed away he looked scared, and wasn't looking at me
in the face.
        I was scared too. But you know what. I had already gotten this far,
and this guy thought I was brave for standing up to him and he thought it
was brave to be gay. I think I agree with him. I know I didn't choose this,
that's crap. I know that it won't be easy. All I know is that camp made me
realize something. Andrew made me realize something. His friend made me
realize something. Being gay is not something that hurts me, idiots are
what hurt people. Being gay is your way of finding love. All I know is
camp...school...life....IT GETS BETTER.
 	So rock it out. I know I have!

Yours truly,
JbScrypt


Thanks for reading my story. It is a work of pure fiction, sadly. We all
need an Andrew in our lives. If you want to email me and comment that would
be nice.

Jbark217@gmail.com

Also if you'd like to read more of my work, or see this one in its original
format with pictures please visit my website.

www.niftyscrypt.webs.com

Thanks!