Date: Thu, 26 Nov 2009 12:40:06 -0500
From: jacobmillertex@aol.com
Subject: Jacob Finding His Way: Chapter 1

{Jacob Finding His Way, is based on true events in my life. As I am writing
this story, I am above the age of 21. Any similarity to any other events,
names, or life events is pure accidental. If you are a under age,
(according to your state laws as a minor), if this literature is offensive
to you or to anyone around your viewing area, or it is illegal for you to
view such content where you are reading it, stop reading the story.  This
story can not be distributed in any way, shape or form without my expressed
consent. Written by J.P.G.}


Chapter One:


Hello, I better start out by introducing myself. My name is Jacob, and I am
about to start my freshman year in high school, down south in Texas. I am
your typical Hispanic I guess, I stand 6 feet tall, black hair, brown eyes,
a runners build, but never ran a day in my life. Kind of a loner, I really
have no group of friends to talk about, just moved to a different side of
town again. But, just like any high school in the good old USA, there are
the clicks, the popular groups as they put it. Like the jocks of the
football team, basket ball team, and field, then the rich kids, not to many
of those on this side of town, the rockers, and so on.

Better let you know this from the beginning, that I am gay. No one knows
yet about me, don't get me wrong, I don't date girls nor do I act gay. My
voice is very heavy and I play the straight guy part very well. Here in
Texas, more so in the bible belt, you don't tell anyone that you are gay,
if you wish to keep standing. You hope no one catches on, and you get out
of dodge as they say, after high school.

I know I will be a closet case till the day that I die. My family isn't
religious, just the opposite. My mother always told us, as we were growing
up, she was pushed into religion so much, she went the other direction. So
she wont push us, but we have been told as well, you don't date out of your
race, nor do you have sex before marriage, and no way you could be
gay. That hasn't been said directly about being gay, but pretty much known
that we must date and marry the opposite sex.

I live with just my mother, who works on the army base, a older bother, and
a younger sister. Man my brother Andy, tries to test the limits of the
house, and gets caught every time. The funny thing is, since I am younger,
I learn from his mistakes, and not commit to them myself, but up till now,
I have not started my rebellion towards my mother, who knows if I would.

As I begin my first year of high school, I am a little scared. We moved
once again, and now we live in the central part of town. So that means I
start my high school years without my friends from middle school. I wasn't
to happy about that. We live close enough to the high school, that I haft
to walk to school. I have seen the school from the freeway, but never up
close. So as I arrived at my high school, it kind of freaked me out. It
looks like a old church that was transferred into a high school. Its in a v
shape, and right in the middle stands a bell tower. I wonder if the bell
still up there, and if it works. Its only stands three floors high, but
very long school.

So I just headed on in, found the cafeteria, very gloomy and kind of spooky
as well. I got into line for breakfast, which my family qualified for free
breakfast and lunch program. It was eatable, can't complain. I sat down,
and ate my breakfast not disturbing any one, just looking around. More so
at the hot guys that walked by me, or sat with there groups of friends or
girlfriends. I have it really bad for cute white boys, blue eyes, blonde
hair, not built, but not skinny. Its hard to find that here, its dominated
by Hispanics.

I just finished up my breakfast, tossing out the remains on my trey and
putting the trey up on the counter with the rest, when the bell rang for
first period. I was so turned around, I didn't know where I was going. My
first period was P.E., and I had no idea where the field was at. As I made
it to the middle of the building, I shot out the double doors across from
the doors that I came in at. I landed in a quad, and kept going, as I
looked at my watch, I knew I had to run, where I didn't get late to first
period. As I started to run, not looking where I was running, I ran right
into someone, I flew backwards right onto my back. Kind of stunned, I shook
it off, looked up and there standing over me was this guy, he was Hispanic,
maybe about 5'4', brown eyes, brown hair, light skin. He reached out his
arm and helped me up. I dusted off, mumbling,

"sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going"

"No problem, no hurt, no foul." as he picked up his books. "Where were you
going in such a hurry anyways?"

"Trying to get to the field for P.E., and I have no idea where it is!"

"No problem, I was heading there myself, follow me."

We began down the path of the quad, and out the other end, as we were
coming out the buildings, there were the bleachers.

"By the way my name is Chase."

"My name is Jacob."

"Nice to meet you Jacob."  We shook hands. "Your not from around here, are
you?"

"No, I went to elementary and middle school on the west side of town. My
mother moved us here during the summer."

"That has to suck. I mean starting high school as one of the new kids!"

"Tell me about it. I wasn't happy, but what can I say."

"Stick with me, I help you out. Before class is over, show me your
schedule, and I'll try to help you get around this backwards school!" he
laughed.

Just then we arrived at the field, in a nick of time. The final bell rang,
and the coach began to call roll call. Explained the rules and what he
wanted through the semester. Sounded easy, basically show up to class, and
you will pass. The coached excused us, and we headed to the locker rooms to
change. As we were heading there, Chase asked

"So what grade are you in?"

"I am a freshman, and you?"

"Same. Let me see your schedule and see if we have any other classes
together." Lucky for me, we had the same schedule, and same lunch
hour. "Cool, we could hang, and I could help from getting lost around this
school. Its not a school you want to get lost in. Once lost in here, you
won't be found"

"Thanks, I gauss!" I laughed.

We finished changing, got lockers right next to each other to through our
street close in, and headed out to the field again. The coach made us to
warm up, which included running the bleachers up and down. Boy did that put
my stomach in a spin. We then were broken down into teams, and was being
showed how to play tag football. I wasn't any good at it, like any other
sports. I am just not into playing any kind of sports at all.

Class ended, we headed in and changed back to our street close. Those that
wanted to shower, could. I took a quick one, leaving swimming trunks on. I
did like what I was seeing. I didn't make it seem as I was looking, a
glance here a glance there, but mostly, minding my own business.

The rest of the morning went fast, once third period bell rang, me and
Chase headed down to the lunch room, and got in line. Grabbed our lunch,
and headed out to the sitting area. Chase looked around and found his other
friends sitting already. We walked over to the table where they were, and
Chase took a seat, made room for me, and I sat down.

Chase introduced his friends, Sam, a nice looking guy, about 5'9", black
hair, brown eyes, a swimmers built, Thomas, same height, a little lighter
hair, piercing hazel eyes, and a stocky build, Adrian around 5'8", light
brown hair, green eyes, and I really couldn't see what kind of build he
was, he was wearing very loose wearing close, and Juan, stood about 5'6",
black hair, brown eyes, very stocky.

As Chase went down the table introducing the guys, we shook hands. We all
sat down and ate. Before we knew it, we were out side in the quad, the guys
were comparing the girls, and who they would like to go out with. I didn't
say much, just nodded in agreement, and didn't say who I liked or wanted to
date. The bell rang, ending lunch, and we all carried onto our fourth
period class.

Nothing much happened the rest of the day, I was sitting in sixth period
class, which was English, and man was it boring. Don't know why, maybe
because it was the last period class, or just I really didn't like English
class at all.

Finally the bell rang, headed to my locker, grabbed the books I needed to
do my homework, and headed out, started my walk home. I was hearing someone
calling me, but didn't really pay much attention, I was thinking, and then
Chase appeared on my side out of breath.

"What's up dude, you didn't hear me calling you?"

"No, sorry man, I was just thinking about, well really nothing at all, just
thinking."

"No problem, where do you live?"

"The apartments on Jackson street."

"Cool, I live on Hamilton Street, we could walk together."

"Thanks man. You live in a house or apartment's?"

"A house. I grew up here on this side of town. I know the ends and outs of
the neighborhood."

As we walked, we talked about school, classes, and what we could do around
here during the weekend. We reached his street, Chase headed down, yelled
out.

"Meet you here in the morning."

"Cool, see you in the morning around 7:30!"

Chase waived in approval, and headed to his house. I continued to walk down
until I hit my apartments, and headed in. I was the first one home,
cool. Dropped my bag in my room and headed to the kitchen and started my
chores.

Each of us had chores to do at the house, clean the kitchen, vacuum,
straighten the restroom, and last have dinner on the table for my mother
when she got home from work.

As I was cleaning the kitchen, I looked out the window, and I almost
dropped the plates on the floor. There in the apartment buildings across
the way, stood, well lets say, a most beautiful guy I have ever seen. He
couldn't be much older then me. Stood about 5'5", light brown hair, almost
blond, a very athletic body, a bubble butt you could die for. Where I was
standing and where he was at, I couldn't see his eyes. As I was standing
there, I didn't hear my sister come in until she was standing in the
kitchen.

"What are you doing Jacob? What are you looking at?"

She was walking towards me and the kitchen window, "nothing, just thinking
about what to cook!" Little embarrassed I was caught looking out the
window, hoping my lie will stand.

"Hey that's Joey out there. He goes to school with you, I think his in the
same grade as you."

"How do you, Mary?"

"His sister and me are friends, and I met him when I went down to pick up
Fran for school."

"Why haven't I seen her bother around? I mean, he didn't walk to school. At
least not the same route I went."

"No Jacob, he doesn't walk to school. His mother drives him and picks him
up."

"Oh, that's why. I wonder why that is?"

"The little I know, something happen last summer before school started. He
was out, at the high school, and someone beat him up real bad. He almost
died. They really don't talk about it. But his parents are very protective
about him now, they don't let him really go any where without them being
their."

"Wow, that is scary. That explains it all."

At that point my sister headed off to her room, turned on her radio to rap
music, and slammed the door. I yelled at her, "Mary better get your chores
done before mom gets home, don't want her to be mad."

"I will have them done!" And she turned her music up even louder.

Man do I hate that rap music. To me, its like crap, nothing but yelling out
screw this, screw that, and more. That's not music. I turned back to the
window, and Joey was gone. Man do I really want to meet this guy, don't
know how, but I will figure it out.

The evening went quickly. Before I knew it, I was showering and getting
ready for school the next day. As I laid down, and tried to go to sleep, I
kept imagining being with Joey, and I don't even know the guy. He was
pretty much all I could think about.

The alarm clock sounded. I turned and looked at the clock, it was 6:00 am
already. I felt more tired now, then I did when I went to bed. Dragged
myself out bed, went out to the restroom, and my sister was in their.

"Mary, come on, hurry, I need to use the restroom!"

"Jacob, I will be out when I am done, just haft to wait!"

I was mad, as I walked in my room that I shared with my older brother, all
I could do from peeing right there on flow was, crossing my legs. I heard
the restroom door open, I ran to the restroom, slamming the door. Used the
rest room, brushed my teeth, combed my hair, and went back to my
room. Threw on a pair of levis, a t-shirt, white socks, and my shoes, then
headed to the kitchen. Grabbed me a bowl of cereal, and headed out.

As in was walking down the street that was between Jackson and Jefferson, I
noticed Joey getting into his parents car, at least I think its his parents
car. Man this guy is so cute, wearing a pair of blue jeans, not tight, but
snug all in the right places. His t-shirt tucked in, and a pair of high
tops. As I was looking, Joey looked over, and I waved, and he waved back. I
thought to myself, it's a beginning.

I started to walk to school, as I reached Hamilton street, Chase was
waiting for me.

"Hey Jacob, how's it going man?"

"Cool man! How about you?"

"Cant complain. Going to have breakfast this morning?"

"Yes!" As I was answering, I turned to look down Fort Blvd, and I saw Joey
fly by. His mother was driving.

"What are you looking at Jacob?" He turned the direction I was looking at,
and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Be careful who you be friend here."

"Oh? Why, what's up with that kid?" Pretending I had no idea who he was, or
what happen last summer.

"Yep, that's Joey. He's gay. A group of guys cornered him in the quad
during the summer, and beat him so bad, he almost died."

"Just because he is gay? What happen to those guys that beat him up?"

"Nothing really happened to those guys, they are seniors, and on the
football team. And they claim that Joey was hitting on them."

"Do you know if he was?"

"The little I know about Joey, he stays to himself, not making trouble for
anyone. He really has no friends to speak of. And to tell you the truth,
you wouldn't know that he was gay. He doesn't act it at all. So I don't
think he did what those guys claim he did. They just needed a reason to be
jerks."

"I wonder why then the school and others believed what they said about the
poor guy. I know he lives in my apartments and all."

"Who knows! Just you live in the great state of Texas, and being gay here,
isn't a good thing to be. If you are thought of being gay, no proof needed,
is enough to get your butt kicked."

We arrived at the school, and headed to go and eat breakfast. Sat with
Chases friends, and just talked about random things. The bell rang for
first period, so we all put our treys away and headed to class.

As the day before, we ran the bleachers as part of our warm ups. But this
time, my breakfast came up on me, as I reached the bottom of the bleachers
mid way.

"Hey Jacob, head to the nurse to get looked at!"

"Ok coach"

I found the nurses office, and headed in. The young lady at the desk ask
why I was here, and I told her. Then she asked me to take a seat, and the
nurse would be with me shortly.

I went and sat down, slumped in the seat, and then I felt someone sit next
to me in the next seat. I looked over, and couldn't believe my eyes, it was
the guy I dreamed about, sitting right next to me. Tried to keep my cool,
didn't stare to much and then I closed my eyes again. My stomach was in
knots, don't know if is was because of earlier, or because Joey just sat by
me, and I could feel him sitting there.

"Are you ok?"

I opened my eyes and looked over to him, "yep, just my breakfast didn't
agree with me!"

"Oh I see, that explains why your so white in the face"

"And running the bleachers after eating didn't help matters at all."

"So you have P.E. first period?"

"Yep, and that kind of sucks! Now I know I cant eat breakfast before I head
to class. Or eat breakfast a lot earlier!" I kind of giggled being nervous.

"That would do it. I would of had P.E. first period as well, but assigned
here in the nurses office instead."

"Oh, you don't look hurt at all."

"I am not, just something happened, and the principal thought it best for
me to be here instead of P.E., safety and all."

I just looked, not wanting to give away that I knew some of the story of
what happened to him, then he interrupted my thoughts.

"You live in same apartments I live. I have seen you around, plus your
sister knows my sister."

"Ya, I have seen you around the apartment complex as well. Just not here at
school."

"You wouldn't have here at school. Today is my first day of school. Again
the principle thought it to be best for me to start a day later, then the
rest, to insure all was well."

"Wow, something big must have happened for all these pro cautions to be
taken." I then realized I haven't introduced myself yet. "By the way, my
name is Jacob." I extended my hand.

"My name is Joey." He shook my hand.

At that moment the nurse called me in, and I got up and went to the bed the
nurse was pointing to. I explained to her what happened.

"It sounds like you just ate to much, and didn't let your stomach relax
before you ran. You want I could give you something for your upset
stomach."

"No that's ok, I think I will be fine. Just need to let my stomach settle,
and I can just walk it off."

"No, don't walk, just go back to where you were sitting at, and wait for
the bell to ring, then you could go."

I headed back to where I was sitting at before, and Joey hasn't moved since
I got up. Man was he cute, and those jeans, as I said, snug all in the
right places. He dresses kind of preppy, but it matches him. I sat down,
and closed my eyes again, trying not to look at Joey, afraid that I would
get caught.

As I was sitting there, I felt like someone was looking at me. I opened my
eyes, and saw the girl sitting at the front desk just staring. When she
realized I opened my eyes, she quickly looked back down to her books. I
figured it was her homework from the day before. Then Joey leaned over.

"I think she likes you Jacob."

I looked at Joey, and leaned over to his ear, where that girl couldn't hear
me, and man did Joey smell good, I couldn't believe how good he
smelled. "Ya, but she isn't my type."

Joey just looked at me. "Well if you don't watch it, she will try
everything to get you to go out with her. So has a rep of going out with
all sorts of guys. Just a word to the wise, that's all."

"Thanks man, I don't need any trouble or rumors. Just want to keep to
myself, that's all."

"What's your next period?"

"Math."

"With who?"

"Ms. Porch chop herself, Ms. Thomason."

"Ya, she looks like she has a porch chop stuck in her throat. It looks like
she grabbed the entire thing, and swalled it without chewing, and it got
lodged in her throat!"

We started laughing, the girl looked up at us, and just starred. We stopped
laughing and stayed quite for a few minutes.

"And you, what's your next class?"

"Same. I'll walk with you to class if its ok with you?"

"Why wouldn't it be, its cool with me."

Joey smiled, then the bell rang. We headed to class, just talking about
random things. I haven't laughed so much in while. We got to class, and
headed to our seats. Chase looked at me as I sat down at my desk, and gave
me a look like what's wrong with you. I turned around to see where Joey
was, and found that the teacher grabbed him, and put in the front row, next
to her desk.

The rest of the morning went by quickly. Man was I hungry when lunch rolled
around, maybe because my breakfast was all over the bleachers. I got into
the line, grabbed my lunch, and headed to go and sit with Chase and the
guys, when I noticed Joey just sitting at a table all by himself. Other
students walking by him, calling him fag, throwing food and paper at
him. He didn't even look up, what will power that takes.

I walked over to his table, and sat down opposite of him.

"I wouldn't sit there if I was you. If you don't want to be a out cast like
me."

I looked at him squarely in the face, "I don't give a dam what others
think, I know who I am, and the little I know about you, you seem to be a
cool guy!"

"Thanks Jacob! I was feeling like scum."

"Don't worry, were friends aren't we?"

Joey laughed, shook his head yes, and we started to eat. Then to my
surprise Chase and the guys sat down at the same table. Looked at Joey, at
first I was defensive, thinking to myself, better not hurt this guy, I am
head over heals for him. Instead, they introduced themselves to Joey, and
we just talked the lunch period away.

As the bell rang, and we all headed different directions, Joey walked next
to me, and man was I on cloud number nine.

"Thanks Jake for all of what you did for me at lunch. It means a lot to
me."

I looked at Joey, and I could see tears in his eye, and my heart went out
to him, feeling the hurt he was feeling. And I think joy as well.

"Not a problem, you're my friend, I hope!"

Joey laughed, wiped his eyes. "You bet we are!"

The rest of the day went by real fast. I was happy, because it was
Friday. I know that's weird. School here doesn't start on a Monday, it
always start on the same day in August every year, except if that day falls
on a weekend, then it starts on a Monday.

I met up with Chase, and headed home. At first we were just talking about
random stuff, then we got into the topic about Joey.

"Jacob, you know that was cool what you did for that kid Joey."

"I felt real bed for him, people were just being mean to him for no
reason. Just because they heard the rumors about him, and they really
wanted to believe the rumors."

But as well, I am really falling for Joey as well, but Chase and the guys
don't need to know that.

"Still, you're a cool guy. If you didn't go and sit with Joey, I know me
and the guys would have never went over and sat with him. It goes to show
you, its better to be a leader then a follower. I feel kind of good of
myself for sitting there with Joey, and talking to him. Not caring what
others were saying or thinking!"

"Thanks Chase, he seems to be a real nice guy. You could tell, its hurting
him what others are doing and saying about him. All because of those stupid
jocks. Who cares if he is gay, as long as he is cool and has our backs when
needed, that's all that matters!"

"Your right Jacob, your right."

At that point we got to his street, we shook hands, and he headed off
home. He turned around waiving then went up his driveway.

Once again I got home before any one else, and headed to my room to throw
my back pack in. Then I headed to the kitchen window, in hopes to see Joey,
but no luck. I had to just be with my thoughts, and man were there many.

{Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my story. it's the first
time I have written a story, so I hope you liked it and keep reading the
future installments. It is based on my life in high school, just the names
were changed, but the location is pretty much the same. I know you were
hoping for sex in this chapter, there will be in the future chapters. But
this story is more about finding true love, or thought was true love. Keep
reading the future chapters, and enjoy, please email me and let me know how
I am doing at jacobmillertex@aol.com, Thanks!}