Date: Wed, 10 Sep 2003 20:37:30 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jimmie Hawn <james_08_99@yahoo.com>
Subject: Jason & Bryce,   1-1

This story is 90% true and I am telling it from journals I kept as a
teen. This is my first story and would appreciate any constructive
criticism.  There isn't any sex in the first few chapters but later on
there will be some to come up.  If you are under the age of 18 or it is
illegal to read, please leave now.

Thanks again.
ENJOY

Bryce learned early on that living with his parents would cause his life to
be different.  Making friends was difficult for him because they were never
in one place long enough to get to know anyone.  They finally moved to a
city where he knew he belonged.  Bryce had a feeling that this city is
where he belonged, his grandparents were close and he knew a few of the
kids in their neighborhood.  He didn't feel like an outsider either.  He
was having trouble settling into the new city, but one day at school he saw
the person of his dreams, hopefully his soul-mate, he thought to himself.
To say the least he was the one that saved him from himself.

He realized that he was very attracted to Jason, but he had no idea how to
approach him.  Jason was the picture of beauty and had the number of
friends that Bryce had always dreamed of having.  He was never alone but,
one day Jason smiled at him and Bryce's heart melted.  This was the first
time in his life he ever felt like he belonged with the people he was with.
Bryce realized that the people around him were friendly and they wanted him
to join in their activities, and they invited him to parties even though he
never accepted.  He felt like part of the crowd.  Being accepted by
everyone now was finally happening, and he knew his life would be different
forever.

The school year was just beginning and Bryce was just getting into the
groove of making it to school doing only what was needed and returning home
just as quickly.  Bryce's house was a haven because his parents were never
there until late at night.  He was home by himself for 5 hours before they
would get in from work.  Bryce's parents worked at GM and their shifts were
from 11am to about 9 at night.  His grandparents would check on him while
his parents were at work.  The times he spent with his grandparents he
thought was the best. Bryce loved his grandparents and they cherished their
time with him.  He did whatever he wanted; never really much of a food
person Bryce would just have a snack.  Bryce was a little over weight when
he was younger and once he lost his weight he didn't want to gain in back
so he basically would skip meals and this is how he kept his weight off.
He never realized his life was so good having all that time with no one to
answer too

Wednesday morning was his third day in school and Bryce was still not
talking to anyone.  "It is now or never," Jason thought to himself, so at
lunch time he was sitting alone eating when Jason walked over to the table
where he was and sat down.  "Hello, my name is Jason."

Jason thought he startled him because Bryce jumped.  He replied, "Hi, my
name is Bryce."

Jason managed to get some small talk started, but after lunch Bryce went
back to being quiet.  Bryce wanted to talk to Jason but wasn't sure of what
to say.  He had never really talked to anyone and having Jason this close
to him, he felt flustered and his face was red from blushing.  He couldn't
figure out what to do to get Bryce to talk, but he was determined to get to
know him.


One afternoon at school Bryce was out at the bleachers during lunch reading
a story before class and Jason approached him from out of no where.  Bryce
was a little taken because he didn't see Jason coming up behind him.  He
told Bryce again his name was Jason and Bryce said sarcastically, "I know."
Jason, "I am sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude, it's just that you have
been trying to get me to talk, but I am not comfortable, I don't talk a
lot."  Bryce, "Its okay, I know how you feel, I am sorry if I made you
uncomfortable."

Jason stretched out his hand and Bryce shook his hand and reminded him that
his name was Bryce.  Jason was like a god to him, Bryce thought to himself
that Jason was the most beautiful person he had ever met and he instantly
stumbled over his own words trying to speak.  Jason, "please don't get me
started or I will never be quiet," Bryce said with his face feeling flushed
and his heart racing.

"Where are you from," Jason asked.  "I've lived here all his life and
nothing ever happens, but life can be fun at times."  "Bryce, I learned
that you have to take risk in life to enjoy it, when you are ready to talk
I'll be close by."

The bell rang and Bryce was on his way back to class, but before he could
get away Jason asked "will you be outside tomorrow."  Bryce looked back and
said, "yeah', this is where I can actually go and think without being
distracted by all the noise.  Once I get to know you I will talk, it just
takes sometime."

The rest of the day went on as usual for Bryce. He was just learning how to
get to class on time and just getting to know where they were located.
Finally, the last hour was upon them and to his surprise Jason was in his
last class.  Jason didn't notice Bryce at first, but then Bryce felt
someone touch his shoulder.  It was Jason.  Bryce was speechless.  He
turned and said, "Hello." He was smiling, and then he just turned around
because class was starting.

Class was finally over and Bryce was the first one out the door on his way
home.  He was excited, because he knew that he would be alone 'till his
parents got home.  Later that evening when they arrived home they asked
Bryce how his day was and he told them it was the same old thing just
another day.

Bryce's parents needed to have a talk with him; he wasn't interested but
sat down and listened to what they had to say.  "What could they have to
say that would mean anything to me?" Bryce thought to himself.  He was
nervous and was starting to feel uncomfortable.  "Bryce", his mom said, "We
are going to be living here until you finish school, your fathers job and
mine are finally settled to where we don't have to move anymore. He was
happy, but he didn't get his hopes built up because he wasn't sure if they
were telling him the truth.  They had lived all over the east coast and the
moves usually lasted 6 to 10 months.  With this in mind, he figured he
would give their stay 12 months before he really believed it would be their
last.

School continued to progress slowly even though Bryce was reluctant to get
to know anyone, there was one person who was persistent to get to know him.
One person, namely Jason , he went out of his way to be as close to Bryce
as anyone ever could have.

"Bryce, I am going to stay as close to you as possible.  You can push but
I'll push back harder to get to know you," Jason said with a smile on his
face.

No matter how many times Bryce saw that smile he would instantly melt.
"How can I resist that smile," he thought to himself and returned the smile
to Jason.

Jason and Bryce were both freshman in high-school and Jason was just
starting on the football team.  Jason was 14, stood 6ft, 150 pounds with
brown hair and the bluest eyes Bryce had ever seen.  His smile would cause
anyone to bow to him. Bryce on the other hand was 13, and was starting on
the swim team.  The only reason he was 13 is because he skipped 6th grade
because it was no challenge to him.  He was tested and managed to be placed
in the 7th grade, so he was somewhat younger than the other kids.  He was
5'10" and weighed 128 lbs with blonde hair and green eyes.  He was small
for his age, but never thought anything about it.

Bryce's parents had always made sure they had a pool where-ever they lived,
and that is how Bryce got his passion and love for swimming and, he loved
to compete.  He would start his day out with a swim in the morning and stay
in the pool 'till it was time for him to get ready for bed.  For as long as
he could remember, swimming was his life and his parents encouraged him to
keep it up, because it would come in useful one day.

During junior high Bryce was on the swim team.  He had won ten medals
during his first season on the team. The only one he didn't like was the
silver, there were 9 gold medals.  His parents kept them on display, so
that when their friends visited, they would know that Bryce was a winner
and very competitive in sports.  The only annoying part of this was the
pressure put on him to win because he didn't want to disappoint anyone.

To Bryce, Jason was the picture of perfection.  He had the grace of an
angel and as time passed Bryce knew that Jason really cared about him.
With him being the new kid Jason made sure Bryce knew what was going on
around him in school.  Jason wanted to make sure Bryce was always aware of
anything that might of interest to him, so he made it point to point things
out to him.

Bryce did like to be alone and at lunch time, he would spend his hour at
the bleachers reading and writing or whatever he could think of to occupy
his time.  He was so used to being without friends that this gave him time
to relax and reflect on his life.  He knew he wanted to get to know Jason,
but was not sure really what to do.

Everyday Jason would go out to the bleachers to check on Bryce, but he told
him he was fine and would never talk much.  One day Bryce was outside and
he was a little upset, crying softly.  Jason walked up, and before he could
cover his face to hide his tears Jason saw them fall to the ground.
 Bryce was ashamed that Jason had seen him crying he was frozen and he
couldn't move a muscle.

"Why are you crying?  You have nothing to fear or be ashamed of?"  Jason
said.  "I will never tell anyone."  With a worried look on his face, Jason
sat down next to Bryce trying to embrace him for comfort.  "It's okay to
cry, I have done it so many times that I lost count," Jason said, his face
pleading with Bryce to believe him. "Bryce,' you can lean on me and you can
trust me, I care a lot about you, and I will never do anything to hurt
you." You can always talk to me," Jason said.  "I will always bee there for
you."  "Bryce,' have I done anything to make him sad or unhappy?" Jason
sensed that Bryce didn't trust him -- that he probably didn't trust anyone.
He had to break through and reach him.

"No, just leave, just leave me alone!"

He knew that Bryce wanted to be alone at that point but he didn't leave.

"Jason," I said "Leave me alone, no one can help me."

"Why?" Jason asks.

"You wouldn't understand," Bryce said.  Bryce knew that no one would ever
accept him for the way he was.  "I've always been alone, no one knows how I
feel, and no one ever will."

"Let me in, nothing you say will make me hate you, I want to help, but you
won't let me, it hurts me to see you this way Bryce' I want to help," Jason
said pleading with his heart.

"Don't you listen" with anger in his voice, I told you to leave me alone I
want to be left alone.  "Please."

Jason could see the fear and anger on Bryce's face and it hurt him to see
Bryce in any pain.  "Bryce, you can tell me anything and it will not go any
further than between you and me, no one else will ever know what is said."


When Jason started school he was a really quiet and shy kid, but once he
realized life is what you make of it, he opened up and really began to
enjoy life at that point.


Bryce and Jason were sitting out at the bleachers when Bryce got up and was
getting ready to run when he felt a hand touch the back of his pants.  He
turned to knock the hand away but he ended up falling.  He was knocked
unconscious and the next thing he remembered was waking up in the hospital.

"What the hell?" he thought to himself as he was waking up.  He asked, "Why
do I have all these tubes, needles and wires going into my body?"  He tried
to move his hands, but they were tied down; his legs were tied down as
well.  He had a feeding tube down his nose and the doctor said it was best
to have his hands and feet tied so that he couldn't pull the tubes's out or
remove the I.V.'s.  He awoke in a haze and realized he was in the hospital.

Bryce woke up 4 hours later and found his parents grandparents and Jason at
his bedside.  He started to speak when the doctor came into the room to
check on him.

"Why do I have to have the IV's and feeding tube?" Bryce asked.

"When you were brought into the emergency room, we found that you were 20
pounds underweight and severely dehydrated."

He didn't believe what the doctor told him, he wanted the feeding tube out
but the doctor refused and his parents would not do anything to get it out
either.  He was pissed off.  After the doctor left, "mom, dad, grams and
gramps could you give me a minute with Jason alone?"  His mom was a little
hesitant at first but reluctantly she agreed.

"Jason, why are you here?"  Bryce asked. "I don't deserve to have you here
after the way I have treated you," "How could Jason be here I am so ashamed
of how I had acted towards Jason." Bryce was so sorry, but he couldn't get
the words out.

"Shh", Jason said "I wanted to be here to make sure you were going to be
okay, I tried to catch you before you fell but I was too slow."  "Bryce, I
want to tell you something, but said it had to wait till he was out of the
hospital."  Jason had wanted to tell him for last few days, but hadn't had
the courage too.  Jason was afraid to tell him, but he really needed to let
Bryce know how he felt about him.

Bryce yelled, and it scared Jason. He thought Bryce was yelling at him, but
his side hurt like hell.

 Jason could see the pain written over Bryce's face.  "What's wrong?  Did I
hurt you?"

"No, my side is killing me, I need help, and I think I am going to be sick,
please help."

Jason pushed the nurse's button.

"How may help you?" came the voice over the speaker.

"Bryce said, his side is hurting really bad, and he thinks he's going to be
sick, he needs some help."

The doctor came in and asked Jason to step out for a moment.  He checked to
see what was going on, and said "Your appendix had begun to rupture; we
have get you to surgery."  Bryce had no idea what to think.  The nurse came
in and gave him a shot and he was out like a light.

He began to wake and realized he was being wheeled out of the room heading
for surgery.  It didn't make sense, he tried to ask what was going on but
with the feeding tube down his throat his words weren't making sense to
anyone.  "Help, what's going on?"

Bryce's mom was at his side, "honey, everything is going to be okay your
appendix had to be removed."  "Its minor surgery," and was all she told
him.

When he awoke it was around 5 the next afternoon.  Jason was gone; he was
relieved that Jason didn't know about the surgery.  Bryce's mom assured him
that he didn't know.  He was grateful because other wise Jason would have
wanted to stay with him. Actually Bryce wanted him there with him, but he
couldn't let anyone know.  He was totally alone even though his parents
were still with him.

Bryce was in the hospital for 7 days and everyday Jason came by, to visit
him.  He was persistent and never left Bryce alone.  He would try to get
close to him, but Bryce would always push him away.  "Why am I pushing him
away, I want him and it hurts me to be the way I am, with tears in my
eyes."  He hated what he was doing because he knew he loved Jason and
wanted more than anything for Jason to stay with him.

"What's up?" Jason asked.  "Are you in pain, can I get you anything?"

 Not sure what to say Bryce said "I'm okay, just having some thoughts going
through my head and they make me happy."

(New paragraph)Jason sat there while Bryce talked about his thoughts and it
made Jason feel welcome and he was just happy to be there at that point.
Bryce realized then that at some point he would have to tell his family who
and what he really was, and he was scared to death.

Bryce only had one complaint from the surgery, he still had the feeding
tube in and couldn't exercise daily so he ended up gaining weight and hated
it.  He realized once he was released to go home he would have to lose the
weight quickly. Bryce wanted to get back to his 128 lbs for the swimming
competitions.  Before he left the hospital the nurse weighed him and the
scale read 152 lbs, he screamed because he had never weighed more than 130
lbs, in his whole life.  The nurse said he looked good with some weight and
he just got more upset.

Bryce's weight was really important to him.  As a child he was over-weight
and he was self conscious of his looks now.  He had lost over 40 pounds and
when he got to 128 lbs. he didn't want to gain any more weight.  The only
way he could stay at this weight was with strenuous exercise and daily
swimming.  He also kept his weight like this to help him when he would
compete on the swim team.

"What was that scream for," Jason asked.

Bryce told him his weight and he told him he looked good with more weight.
Bryce was furious and Jason could see he was angry with him.  Jason
apologized and told him he would help him get back to what his weight was
before the surgery.

He was getting into shape quickly and he had lost the weight he wanted to
lose.  To me, "his body to me was picture perfect," and he noticed I was
looking at him all the time.

On Bryce's last day of rest before returning to school he asked "would you
like to come over for the day, my parents are at work `til later this
evening."

Jason was shocked that Bryce had asked him over, "maybe he is ready to try
and be friends."  Jason was happy to be near him finally.

He told Jason he was sorry for the way he had been acting towards him;
Bryce's one hope was that Jason could forgive him.

"But, you didn't deserve the way I was treating you, I was acting like a
total ass, if you think about it."  With a look of sadness on his face,
Bryce tells Jason "if you never want to speak to me again I will understand
you deserve to be treated better."

"Bryce, listen to me," Jason says with a look of sadness.  "I told you at
school, I will always be here for you, and nothing you do or say will
change that.  I care way too much for you to let anything come between us.
If anything, I feel lucky to be here with you right now."

Tears rolling down his face, Bryce tried to speak, but the words didn't
want to come out. Finally he says, Tthank you for not leaving me, you are
the first person who has stuck around me even though I have tried everyway
in the world to run you off.  Thank you."

"Don't worry about it," Jason said.  He knew Bryce wasn't feeling his
best. "Do you remember in the hospital I told you that I needed to tell you
something?"

"Yeah," Bryce had been dreading this for the longest; he thought for sure
Jason was going to tell him that he never wanted to see him again.  Bryce
was wondering if he was ever going to tell him.  He just figured he would
give him time to get around to it.

Not sure where to begin, he said, "I'll try and get it all out."  The first
day Jason saw him at school he was drawn to Bryce.  There was a chemistry
that was so unreal or possessed by anyone that he knew and Jason was
attracted at once to Bryce.  When he would come out to the bleachers to
chat he just wanted to get to know Bryce, but Bryce always pushed him away.

The only reason Bryce pushed is because he was never around one place long
enough to make friends.
 His family moved every six months or within a year of being in one place.
Bryce had found out 2 weeks earlier that they didn't have to move anymore,
but he was still in the mode of don't get too close because if he did he
knew it would hurt deeply.

 "Oh, please let me finish, if I don't get this out I am going to burst.  I
want to tell you something that no one else knows, if I tell you I am
afraid I will scare you off and you'll hate me.  I'm scared and afraid of
losing a friend."

Jason had tears in his eyes, and he got choked up on his words.  Bryce took
his hand in his own and just said it would be okay, and that he didn't have
anything to fear.  Bryce told him he didn't have to tell him anything until
he was comfortable.  Bryce assured him that what ever he had to say would
not cause him to hate him.

What happened next took Bryce by surprise, he had his eyes closed for a
moment and that is when Jason leaned into him and gave him the gentlest
kiss on the lips.  Jason pulled away and was crying softly.

 "I am so sorry, hit me whatever you want.  I've wanted to do this for so
long; I just had to take a chance to see how you would react."

He ran out of the room, for the front door but Bryce caught him before he
could get out of the house.  "Jason, don't run.  Please stay," Bryce turned
him around and he could tell he was full of fear and crying.  "Please don't
cry I know how you feel, I have had the same feelings for so long," gently
leaning forward with Jason in his hands Bryce gave him a kiss in return.
It was the most passionate kiss he could ever remember. He'd been dying to
give Jason this kiss ever since he saw him.  "Jason, I've wanted to do that
ever since the first smile you gave to me.  You are the most beautiful
person and I've wanted to kiss you for so long."  Leaning toward each other
they share another passionate kiss.

They broke the kiss and Bryce say's "Jason I love you and it has been so
hard on me every time I ran you off or ignored you." "I've known I was gay
since I was 7 years old."

He told Jason he never had friends except for a few that he made in the
many cities they had lived in, but he never got close to anyone because he
knew he would never be around long enough to get to where he could trust
anyone.  The worst part is Bryce didn't have any brothers of sisters to
talk too, so it kind of sucked.

"Bryce, I realized that I was gay about the age of 9, but I had never felt
the way I feel about you for anyone else."  "My family knows that I'm gay,
I was having a lot of trouble in school and I realized I had to tell them
or I was going to go crazy."  "My brother and sister both know about me.
They were the first ones to figure out what was wrong with me. They don't
live at home, they are both in college and I miss them a lot because they
used to do a lot of stuff together, like the movies or even going out to
eat with them.

Jason and Bryce went to Bryce's room and talked for several hours before
his parents got home from work.  Jason went home that evening feeling full
of love after what they admitted how they felt about each other.  That
night sleep came easily.  He was at peace with himself and his feelings
were finally out in the open for the boy he loved. He realized he loved
Bryce more than life itself; if he was dreaming all of this he, never
wanted to wake up.  The next morning came and he realized then that it had
not been a dream, but real and he couldn't wait to see Bryce.

Bryce had finally let his guard down and he was scared more than he had
ever been scared in his life, but he still wasn't sure if Jason really
loved him.  He did keep his distance, but also stayed as close as he could
with out being hurt.  He knew at school they couldn't show how they felt
for each other, but their smiles were enough to satisfy their feelings for
that time of day.

Their classes ended the same everyday and Bryce would wait for Jason so
they could walk home together, the nice part was that he lived across the
street from Bryce.  They could spend hours together talking about their
lives growing up.  "Jason, when I was younger I had a lot of problems with
life and I want you to know how hard life was."  With tears running down
his face, Bryce begins to cry.

"Don't worry, I am here and I will protect you," with his arms around
Bryce, Bryce just melts into his chest and hides his face.  "I will always
be here for you, let me dry those tears, you are so beautiful, I wish I
could take all you pain away." Jason dried Bryce's tears and said, "I don't
care how bad it was, because now I am going to make sure your life will be
better."

"Jason, you are the only person in my life that I could not live without.
You have made me feel like a whole person and I am truly thankful."

"Bryce, I feel more complete now than I ever have, even though we have
known each other such a short time I don't know what I would do if anything
ever happened to you."

"Jason, you are my life, love, heart and soul, I promise my heart, soul and
life to you forever."

"Bryce, I would lay down my life for you, and I promise no one will ever
hurt you."

Leaning in closer to each others embrace, they slowly, passionately kiss
one another and it's the most magical moment they have ever had.  "Jason,
we have just shared our love for each other and I am sure I could never
live without you.  I love you my dear."

"Bryce, I love you so much, just touching you is magical to me.  I love
you."

TBC

***Many thanks to Brad and Ehman for their help in my writing.  It took
several attempt to get it correct but finally it is finished and will be
posting new chapters about every 4 months.  If you like the story let me
know.