Date: Sat, 6 Feb 2016 16:28:33 +0000
From: Secret Writer <secret_writer@outlook.com>
Subject: Joe James - 03

*----- Joe James ? 03

Hi

This is, a you probably know, a story. Fiction, not reality, and so no,
it's not about you, whatever you might believe. As usual, if you
shouldn't be reading this for whatever reason, or you don't like the idea
of boys falling in love, then don't stay here and read this.
If you enjoy this story, or anything else on this site, please donate at
http://www.nofty.org/donate.html And finally, your feedback is always
welcome, you can contact me at secret_writer@outlook.com.

-----*

Twenty past four, and I'm pacing around the house like a mad man.
 Checking my phone, and the door, and looking out of the window every few
seconds.  It's not as though Marcus was late or anything, but I was
nervous.

"Will you sit the fuck down Joe?"  I think Callum was getting annoyed
with me.

"He'll be here I'm sure."

"Of course he'll be here.  Why wouldn't he be here?  Why would you even
say that?  Oh god he's not going to come is he."

"Joe!  Stop it, it's all going to be OK.  But you seem pretty nervous for
'just dinner'."

"I just want.... I want it to go OK is all."

"Yeah, right.  Because you always look like this for dinner.  This is so
a date."

He had a point.  I'd spent the best part of the last three hours getting
ready.  After showering, for the second time today, I'd been picking
clothes, and doing my hair.  I think I've probably tried on every single
item of clothing that I own, and nearly every combination of them
possible.  Finally, I decided on black skinny jeans, red trainers, and
the most expensive T-shirt I own which is white and looks like there's
hundreds of paint splats in red, black, and gold.  It's really nicely
fitted though, and I think I look good in it.  And then hair.  I realised
that Marcus had only ever seen my with my 'sensible' hair style, the one
I go with to stop my parents commenting too much about how I look when we
go somewhere 'nice'.  Neat, swept to one side, and with enough product to
keep it that way for years.  Usually it's far more casual looking.  But
what if Marcus doesn't like it. What if he see's me like this and
realises that actually I'm not very attractive at all, and he certainly
doesn't like me, or just realises that he's made a huge mistake and
drives off, leaving me crying on my own doorstep.  Oh god, that's what's
going to happen.  He's going to park right outside, and I'll go out to
meet him and he's take one look at me, change his mind, and drive away,
never coming back again.  I'd reached this point several times over the
afternoon, and usually Callum would notice and talk to me, and remind me
that I'm perhaps being just a tiny bit paranoid for no reason.  I guess
he pays more attention that I'd thought.  Anyway, I went with my more
usual hair, waxed and messy. But messy in a very particular way, like a
cross between 'bed head' and 'beach hair'.  Yes, they are totally
different things.

"It's not a date!  His whole family are going to be there, it's just
dinner."

"Whatever Joe.  Hey, does he drive a black BMW?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because he's coming down the drive.  Have a good time."

"I won't be too late back, tell Mum and Dad will you?"

"OK, and Joe, you got condoms right?"

"Callum!"

"What?  You got to play safe bro."

"I'm going for dinner, there's no way anything like that is going to
happen!"

"I'm just saying."

"And yes, actually, I've thought about that already.  You know, just in
case."

"Good, so..... you going to just stand here talking to me or you going to
answer the door before someone else does?"

I didn't immediately follow, but then the doorbell rang.  I ran past
Callum and into the hallway as quickly as I could, but my Mum walked out
of the Kitchen just in front of me so I couldn't get to the door first,
leaving me standing slightly awkwardly halfway down the hall as Mum
opened the door.

"Oh, erm.... Hi Mrs James.  Is Joe in?"

It was unavoidable now, Mum was going to talk to Marcus.

"Yes, he's been getting ready all day, hang on..."

"Hi Marcus" I did my best to interrupt

"Mum, this is Marcus, I told you he was picking me up."

"Not exactly Joe"  she turned to face me.

"When you said you were going out for dinner I got the impression
that.... well..."  Looking back at Marcus, she continued "You're just not
what I was expecting."

"OK then, great, we'll talk later. Got to go now though, I won't be too
late home.  Bye!"

I crashed past Mum and more or less pushed Marcus backwards as I went out
of the door, closing it behind me.  Neither of us spoke until the car
doors were closed.  God he was beautiful.  He leaned closer to me, going
to kiss me.  I put my hand on his chest and pushed him away.

"Not here, just drive away, please."

"Joe?  Is everything OK?"

I looked towards the window, where sure enough, Mum and Callum were
stood, watching us.  I waved, sarcastically, if such a thing is
possible.

"Oh, yeah, I see.  Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry Marcus.  But I haven't really said anything to Mum and I
don't want to make it any more awkward when I get home than it will be
already."

He squeezed my thigh and we  pulled away, driving us back to his place.
 We talked easily, not that there was much to catch up on, we saw each
other yesterday.  Arriving at his house, it was like a slightly different
world.  Everyone seemed happy, friendly, pleased to see me, nice.  Marcus
took hold of my hand as we stood in the kitchen talking to his Dad, and
it felt amazing.  I know it's a stupid little thing, but holding hands,
with Marcus, in front of people, yeah, it was good.
I followed Marcus upstairs, where I paused briefly to say Hi to Tom and
Leanne.  Walking in to Marcus' room, I couldn't help but notice how tidy
everything was.  He must have spent all day cleaning up.  He closed the
door and literally picked me up off my feet, and dropped me on the bed.

"I missed you, Joe James."

"You can't have missed me, it's only been 24 hours!"

"Well I missed you anyway."

Marcus sat next to me.

"You look amazing Joe, loving the hair."

"Thanks, I usually look more like this."

"Can I kiss you now?"

"Yeah Marcus, I think that would probably be OK."

We fell backwards, kissing and holding each other.  Yes, I could
definitely get used to this.  Our family friendly, clothes staying on,
make out session eventually calmed down into talking and cuddling.  I
guess we were getting to know each other a bit more, talking about stuff
we have done, what we want to do, films we like, music, games, just, all
kinds of rubbish boring everyday crap.  Marcus put some music on and we
just hung out together, which doesn't sound like loads of fun, but was
actually seriously great.  Obviously something had gone very wrong with
the universe though, because time had definitely sped up, and Tom was
shouting us for dinner.

Dinner was completely amazing.  Not just in that the food was great, but
the whole thing was totally enjoyable.  Everyone just sitting around,
eating, talking, laughing, it all felt so relaxed and friendly.  I
suppose I'm not used to feeling like that.  Yet again, time in this house
seemed like it went by so much faster than usual, and it was 9:30pm when
we had all finished eating.  I offered to help tidy up the dishes and
things, and very quickly, if not slightly too obviously, it was just me
and Marcus in the kitchen.  Unlike the first time we were in here alone,
we were mostly tidying up, instead of mostly kissing.  But there was
still a fair bit of that too.

"I'm really pleased you came over Joe."

"Me too, I've really enjoyed it."

I was stood by the sink, rinsing plates, and I could feel Marcus stood
right behind me.  His arms coming right around my chest, his breath on
the side of my neck.

"So I've been thinking..." he said.

"Yeah?"

"About what you said to me, about you."

"Oh.  Is that a good thing?"

"Joe, it's always a good thing to be thinking about you.  But, I was
thinking about something in particular."

"I bet you were."

"Well yes, of course.  But no, not that.  I think we should go on a date.
 Like a proper, I'll come and pick you up and take you out type of
date."

I looked up, watching Marcus in the reflection in the window.  He was
watching me, and of course I was smiling.

"That would be amazing Marcus."

"Good.  So I was thinking, maybe Friday, I'll come pick you up at 7?"

"Erm, yes, OK.  Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"So how will I know what to wear?"

"Well this, how you look tonight, which, by the way, is incredible, this
will do just fine."

"Fine!?"

I turned around to face him.

"I was really hoping I might have done better than 'fine', but
whatever."

"Joe, as you must already know, you look totally stunning, and I must be
the luckiest guy in the world.  You think it's easy to sit right next to
you all evening and not have my hands all over you?"

He looked so delicate right then.  Like I really could have crushed him.
 Not that I would ever want to hurt him, but his usual confidence was
suddenly just a little bit less concrete.

"Marcus I was joking, the date sounds amazing, and I can't wait.  And
stop looking like that, if this is going to work then I'm going to be the
high maintenance insecure one OK?  I got nothing else."

As a reply, he kissed me, deliberately, firmly.

"Joe, you have everything.  But OK."

I said goodbye to everyone else, and Marcus drove me home.  It was a much
easier journey than the last time, more comfortable, much less tense.
 Before I had thought about it, we were on the driveway, pulling up by my
house.  I had meant to get him to drop me off on the road, but it was too
late now.  Any hope of a quiet entrance were gone as I saw the curtains
move in the window as my Mum looked out.  Marcus noticed it too, and
squeezed my thigh.

"Are you going to tell her?"

"Looks that way doesn't it."

"You want me to come in with you?"

"No!"

He removed his hand from my thigh, and I immediately regretted it.

"I just mean, I think I need to talk to her alone, and you can meet her
another time.  I don't know how this is going to work out yet."

"OK, well will you let me know how it goes later?  Call me, or at least
message me."

"Of course I will."

I so wanted to kiss him, but couldn't find the nerve to do it with my mum
watching.  After all, it's hardly the most subtle way of telling her I'm
gay and 'oh by the way this is my boyfriend' is it.  So instead, I
smiled, felt slightly awkward, and got out of the car.

"Joe?"

I turned back, Marcus had wound down the window.

"Yes?"

"Good luck."

I watched him drive away before closing the front door, and took a couple
of seconds to calm myself.  I walked in to the lounge feigning as much
'just like any other day' as I could manage.  Mum was now sat on the sofa
with a glass of wine doing much the same.  I sat in a chair on the other
side of the room.

"Hi Joe, how was dinner?"

"Oh, yeah, it was OK."

"Just OK?"

"No, it was good."

"So... anything we should talk about?"

"I'm not sure, what do you mean?"  Like I didn't know what she meant.

"Joe, I realise that I've maybe been making assumptions, but I couldn't
help but notice..."

"Right.  What did Callum tell you?"

"Callum?  Nothing.  Why?"

"Oh, I just wondered."

"So he knows?"

"Knows what?"

"OK, I can see his could go on all night.  Joe, you've just been out for
dinner, which you literally spent all day getting ready for, with a boy.
 Now tell me if I'm totally missing the point here, but I'm thinking that
maybe there's something in this that we should talk about."

"Yes, OK, maybe."

"Joe, I really don't care if you're gay, or bi, or whatever.  But you
don't need to hide it from me."

"I'm not hiding anything Mum, it's just never been important before."

"And is it important now?"

"It might be.  And yes, I'm gay, which is fine with me, and Callum
knows."

"And everyone else?"

"What do you mean?"

"Does everyone else know?"

"Mum it's not a secret.  But probably not.  Like I said, it's never been
important before.  You can tell the whole town if you want to."

"Joe, that's up to you.  I just wish you'd have told me before."

"Well, you know now.  Are you going to tell dad?"

"Not unless you want to do it."

"No, it's fine, you can tell him.  He'll know soon enough."

"So tell me about Marcus."

"What?"

"If you're going out with someone, no matter who, I want to know who it
is.  Is he your boyfriend?"

"No Mum!  We're just friends."

"Just friends?"

"No, but he's not my boyfriend, not yet anyway."

"Oh.  So he might be?"

Her smile made it feel easier to tell her.

"I hope so."

We talked for an hour or so, a bit about Marcus, mostly about me, how
long had I known, all the usual stuff people want to know.  But it was
all surprisingly OK.  Not that I had really though she was going to throw
me out on the street or anything like that.  I know that sort of thing
happens to some people, which is terrible, but I guess I knew it wouldn't
be that bad.  But still, one of the scariest conversations I've ever had.
 I went upstairs, not entirely certain how the conversation with dad was
going to go, but feeling OK enough.  Callum was standing in my doorway
before I reached the top of the stairs.

"So that didn't go so bad?"

"You heard?"

"Yeah, you didn't even close the door."

"Oh, right.  Well yes, she seemed OK about it."

"Of course she was.  So how was your date?"

"Not a date, just dinner."

"Yeah, of course, so how was just dinner?"

"Awesome!"

"So it's official, you've got a boyfriend!?"

"No, it's not official.  But we're going on a date on Friday, so maybe
after then."

"Cool!"

"Callum?"

"Yeah?"

"Go away."

I was feeling tired, but sleep did not come easily.  Far too many
thoughts filling my head.  Mostly about Marcus.  And me and Marcus.  And
the rest of my life.  So nothing too major.  But still, I had college in
the morning.  And the next morning, the then three more.

To say it was the longest week at college in the history of anyone doing
anything ever would still be an understatement.