Date: Sun, 06 May 2001 23:05:27 From: Chip Dyp <chipdyp@hotmail.com> Subject: Judgment Error 21 The following program contains material suited for a mature audience. If you are not over 18 you should be leaving now. Of course I can't control you and neither can anyone else really. This story is entirely false except for the true parts. And now for our feature presentation. Viewer Discretion is advised... My web site is located at http://www.geocities.com/chipdyp/ Judgment Error 21 by: Chip Dyp (chipdyp@hotmail.com) "Are you all right?" David asked. The six of us were heading towards Mrs. Ridel's classroom. "My stomach is sore, but I'll live." It was sore. I knew I'd be sore for a few days. "I thought you were going outside so we could talk." "I was, but I decided to wait. When I heard the commotion, I looked back into the gym to see what was going on." David looked away. "I guess Rob and Will had things under control." I leaned over to David and whispered in his ear, "It was really sweet of you to come to my rescue." "Really?" David asked. He smiled at me and blushed. "I was just doing what I thought was right. I wanted to get even with Keith for everything he's done to you. I really lu..." He stopped talking and glanced up at Jennifer. He leaned close to me and whispered, "I really love you. You mean so much to me, and I'd fight anyone to protect you." "It would be nice if I could protect myself," I replied quietly. "So how long have you two been going out," Jennifer asked. She turned around and smiled at David and me. "What makes you think we're going out?" I asked nonchalantly. I brushed the hair out of my eyes and smiled coolly. "It's pretty obvious." Jennifer smiled. "I knew even before David danced with me and stared at you the whole time." "And I thought we were being discreet," David said. He sighed and took my hand. "Not that it matters anymore. I think tonight is my last night in the closet." "Don't make any hasty decisions, David." I squeezed David's hand and moved a little closer. "You don't want to rush into it, especially if your parents have problems with it." "I've been thinking about it a lot, Ian." David looked me in the eyes and smiled. "It's something that I need to do for myself." "All right." I couldn't help but smile back. I was a bit worried, but I knew what he meant. There just comes a time when you've got to stop hiding. "So David's going to come out of the closet and get suspended for five days. It's been quite a week." Rob rubbed Erin's back. We had arrived at his mom's classroom only to find that the door was locked. "Why is he going to get suspended for five days?" I asked. I released David's hand and sat down on the cool tile floor. "For fighting," Will said. He grabbed a piece of floor beside me. David sat down on the other side and took my hand again. "Actually, we're probably all going to get five days for fighting. Except maybe for Ian. He may be expelled for actually starting the fight." "Expelled?" David looked from Rob to Will. "They won't expel him, will they?" "They might," Rob said quietly. "It's sort of like the instigator rule in hockey. You start a fight, you get a stiffer penalty." "But it was self defence," David said. He sounded very indignant. "It would be self defence if Keith had thrown the first punch. Ian threw the first punch, and if he says that Keith provoked the attack, then Keith's friends will lie and cover for him." "But...if he gets expelled, where is he going to go to school? There's only one high school in town." David looked around the hallway and then looked back at me. He looked so forlorn. Tears began forming, and he looked like he'd burst into tears at any second. "I'm sorry, David. I wasn't thinking. I'm also sorry that I got the rest of you involved. If they're going to expel me, then I might as well take as much blame as possible. Maybe I can make sure that you guys don't get suspended." "Ian, you don't have to apologize. Just the next time you start a fight with Keith, make sure that he doesn't have half a dozen friends hanging around." Rob said, smiling. "There won't be a next time, will there Mr. Reynolds?" I looked down the hallway in time to see Mrs. Ridel walk around a corner. I grimaced as I stood, released David's hand out of instinct. * * * * * * I stood quietly in the hallway, listening to Rob and his friends talk. I had been the first parent that had been called, and I was the first to arrive. At first it was a bit of a shock to receive a call telling me that my son had been in a fight at the dance. It made a bit more sense when Mr. Stevens told me that Ian, David and Will were also involved. I knew that Rob was looking out for Ian, and though I didn't fault him for that I was not happy that he had been fighting. I listened as my son told Ian that he didn't have to apologize and then stepped into the hallway. "There won't be a next time, will there Mr. Reynolds?" I asked walking towards my son and his friends. "Uh, hi mom." Rob said meekly. I surveyed the group and watched Ian stand slowly. "Uh, hi yourself. What do you have to say for yourself?" "It's all my fault, Mrs. Ridel," Ian said walking into the middle of the hallway. I watched as he positioned himself between Rob and myself. "Nice try, Ian. Unless you can control my son telepathically, Rob acted on his own." "But..." "No buts Ian. I know you're trying to protect your friend, but it's not going to work. Everyone is accountable for their own actions." I paused and looked right at Rob. "And for fighting at school, you're grounded for the length of the suspension, plus one week." "Yes mom." Rob looked down, and scratched his arm. "Do you think Ian will be expelled?" I took a deep breath and looked at Ian. All six kids were looking at me anxiously. "I don't know, Rob. It all depends on Keith's parents and a bunch of other things. Ian is a good student, and hasn't been in trouble, but he started the fight, didn't he?" "I did." Ian replied. "No you didn't, Ian." Will stood. "Keith must have said something, or done something didn't he? You didn't just walk up to him and deck him for absolutely no reason. What did he say?" I watched Ian fidget before he replied. "He asked me where my boyfriend was and then when I told him to leave me alone, he told me to make him leave me alone." I nodded and walked down the hallway. "Has he been harassing you since Jennifer's party?" "A little." I sighed, and wrapped my arm around Ian. "I don't think that they'll expel you, but I'll talk to them anyway. If Keith harasses you at school, I want you to tell either the principal or me. There is no room for intolerance at this school." "I will," Ian said quietly. "If they don't expel me." "Come on, let's sit down in the classroom." As the other parents arrived, they sat down with their child and waited for the principal to arrive. When Mr. Wood arrived, he handed out letters to the parent's advising us that our children had been suspended for five days. They were not banned from extra-curricular activities, which was the normal way of doing things. In that, Rob and his friends were lucky. But, as I surveyed the room, I could tell that not being banned from extra-curricular activities was the only lucky break that they were going to get. * * * * * * "What's going on, Ian?" My mom asked as my dad backed the car out of the parking lot. She turned around, and looked right at me. "Nothing is going on," I said quietly. I looked away, preferring to look at the night sky, rather than at my mother. "You started a fight in the middle of a school dance, Ian. Believe it or not, that does not constitute 'nothing'. You've been suspended." "I was there when the principal suspended me, Mom," I replied sarcastically. "Don't talk to your mother like that!" Dad was glaring at me in the rear view mirror. "We're going to have a long discussion about this tomorrow morning." "Whatever." * * * * * * I followed my mom out to the car quietly. She hadn't said anything to me since she had arrived at the school. "I don't know what to say to you, Jennifer." Mom finally broke the silence. "I can't understand why you kneed that boy in the groin." "They were ganging up on Ian." "After he punched one of them in the face," My mom countered. She unlocked the car doors, and looked across the dark car at me. "Keith has been harassing Ian since my party in August, Mom. Ian finally got fed up with being picked on." "Well, why doesn't he tell someone then?" My mom backed out of the parking spot, and drove out of the school parking lot. "Like anyone in this town cares if a gay teen is harassed." "That's not true, Jennifer. I care. I'm sure Mrs. Ridel cares. There are lots of people that care." "And more people are either apathetic or openly hostile." I argued angrily. "Well, that maybe true but attitudes are changing." My mom returned her attention to the road. "They aren't changing fast enough," I whispered. I leaned back in the car seat and closed my eyes. It was going to be a long week. * * * * * * "Look at your sister's dress," Mom said as she followed me out to the car. "What's she going to say?" "I don't know." I opened the car door. "She's going to be upset." "I'll buy her a new dress." "Are you all right, honey?" "I'm fine mom. Didn't even break a nail," I replied sarcastically. "That's not funny, Erin," Mom said angrily. "You could've been hurt." "Mom, I can take care of myself." I looked back at Mom and put my hand on her arm. "I was just helping Rob out." "I think Rob can take care of himself. Was there a good reason for the fight?" "I think so. Ian's a good guy. He wouldn't have started a fight without a good reason." My mom nodded and looked over at me and smiled. "Then I'm happy that you stood up for yourself and your friends. I only wish you didn't need to resort to violence." "So, am I grounded?" "Of course. At least until you go back to school. Your five day suspension is not going to be a holiday." I sighed quietly and smiled at my mom. "Somehow, I knew you'd say that." * * * * * * "So, why were you fighting, Will?" Dad never looked at me. He'd been quiet while we walked out to the car. Now that we were alone and on the way home, he wanted answers. "I wasn't fighting, really," I hedged. It was the truth, but it wasn't the whole truth. "You were suspended for fighting," My dad replied, raising an eyebrow. "Are you saying you were an innocent bystander?" "Uh, no. I was involved. I hit a guy who was going to hit Rob from behind." "So, you were fighting." I sighed, "Yeah, I was." I looked my dad right in the eye. He deserved my respect and my apology. "I'm sorry, Dad." "Apology accepted. So what was the fight about? That's the only thing that the principal didn't mention." "It's hard to explain," I replied quietly. "It had a lot to do with Ian and Keith." "That I gathered. I understand Keith father was the main reason that no one's being expelled from extra-curricular activities." "Oh?" I looked at my dad quizzically. "Why?" "Keith's dad told the principal that it won't happen again, and that no one should have to suffer because of Keith's stupidity." "Sounds like Keith's in a lot of trouble." "I went to school with his father. He's a good man. I think that he just doesn't want to see anyone suffer over this little incident." I nodded and looked out the window. It had started snowing again, leaving a fine dusting of snow and frost on the ground. "So, how long am I grounded for?" "A couple of weeks. Unless you'd care to tell me why David attacked Keith after Mr. Stevens had pulled you Keith and Rob apart." "I'll take the couple of weeks," I replied cautiously. I had an obligation to leave David in the closet. He needed to take his time, and come out at his own pace. He didn't need me telling my parents that he's gay. "All right, your choice. If you want to tell me later, I'll mitigate your punishment." "Thanks." "You're welcome." * * * * * * "What were you thinking, David?" Dad shouted from the passenger seat of the car. He had held his temper for a remarkable amount of time, and now was more than willing to unleash it on me. "Don't yell," Mom said. She rarely drove when my dad was in the car, but my dad could hardly wait to start yelling and screaming at me. "I'm not yelling," Dad told her before turning his attention back to me. "You had no business jumping Keith after Mr. Stevens broke up the fight. You're lucky you're not being expelled instead of being suspended." "Yes, Dad." I mumbled from the backseat. I didn't want to have a screaming match in the car. I wished he'd calm down so that I could tell him that I'm gay, but he wouldn't stop yelling. "Don't 'yes Dad' me. This is serious. I knew that your friendship with Ian would cause problems for you." "My friendship with Ian has nothing to do with that asshole Keith!" I shot back. I couldn't help it--I had to defend Ian. It wasn't his fault Keith was a stupid homophobe! "Watch your mouth, young man. When we get home, I'm going to see about sending you to a boarding school for the rest of the year." "Dear, I thought we decided a long time ago that David wasn't going to boarding school." Mom's voice was a surprise. She sounded calm and controlled. It was just so different from how Dad and I were feeling. I was stunned. They were going to send me away! They were going to keep me from Ian! "Well, he's shown that he needs the discipline that a good private school can provide. I should be able to get him into my old Alma Mater. "I'm not going to a boarding school!" "You don't have any choice in the matter!" Dad was angry. There was no doubt of that. "You had absolutely no reason to attack Keith. Mr. Stevens had things straightened out until you came rushing in for absolutely no reason." "I had a reason," I yelled back. The car slowed, as we approached a stop sign. I only had one chance to do this. I had to get it right. I took a deep breath. "I hit Keith because he hurt Ian. I'm not going to let him or you or anyone else hurt Ian. I love him." I looked my shocked father right in the eye and yelled, "I'm gay." Just then, the car came to a stop at the stop sign, and I wasted no time. I threw open the door and ran out into the stormy night. "David, wait..." Dad yelled as he struggled to get out of his seatbelt. I ran down a side street and into an elementary school playground. I glanced over my shoulder, and saw Dad getting back into the car. My mom flipped on the turn signal and turned down the street. I ran through the baseball field and towards the playground. I looked around the barren field, and quickly realized that my father would find me quickly. I needed to get away. When I ran around the school, I found my salvation. There was a large wooded area behind the playground. I ran towards the trees and hopped over the fence, tearing my pants in the process. * * * * * * "Did you see where he went?" I asked Cindy as we drove down the street after David. "I think he went into the schoolyard," Cindy said quietly. She turned toward me. "What are you going to do? What are you going to say to him?" "I don't know," I said honestly. I looked over at my wife and put my hand on top of hers. "But, I do know one thing. He's our son, and I'll always love him. No matter what." Cindy nodded and pulled up next to the curb. I buttoned my jacket up and hopped out of the car. I followed David's tracks as they ran around the school and through the playground where they disappeared. I looked around for a couple of minutes and then called out David's name. There was no reply. David wouldn't or couldn't reply. I looked around the playground and then headed towards a side street. I wanted to find David before it got any colder out. When I finished checking out the schoolyard, I hustled back to Cindy in the car. "I couldn't find him." "Where did he go?" "I don't know. Look, let's take you home, and I'll come back and look for him. If he comes there, you can call me on my cell phone." "Should I call his friends?" "Not yet. I think that if he shows up at Ian's house, his parents will call us. At least, I hope they will." Cindy nodded and got out of the driver's seat. After I dropped her at home, I went back to the school. All I could think about was that this was my fault. I couldn't believe that I'd let things get so bad between David and me. We'd drifted so far apart that he felt he couldn't talk to me. He was my only child, and he meant the world to me. I pulled up to the curb and walked back into the playground. The snow was falling heavier now, and David's tracks were becoming obscured. But that was of no concern. I had been there before, when the tracks were fresh and it didn't help. The playground was quiet, the only sound being the squeaks of the swings as they moved in the wind. "David, where are you?" I whispered. "It's time to come home son." I walked towards the woods, and looked into the dense underbrush. There were branches that had been disturbed. I jogged the remaining distance and looked past the fence line. There were tracks! That had to be David. Pausing for only a second, I climbed over the fence and dropped down on the other side. It wasn't easy for me to get over the fence, but somehow I didn't think it would have been hard for David, given his size. Walking through the thick brush carefully, I followed David's path. He had been running through the bush, terrified of his father. Terrified of me. I looked back at the fence, and then continued deeper into the brush. It didn't take much searching before I found David asleep against a tree. I touched his cheek, and crouched in front of David. "Oh, David," I whispered. Gently, I shook my young son's shoulder. His eyes opened slowly and then closed again. "Please, don't send me away dad. Please don't." "Shhhh, I won't send you away." "I love him, Dad. I do. I love Ian." "I know." I reached out and pulled my beautiful boy toward me. Ian cried softly on my shoulder while I held him in my arms. He sunk into my arms and shivered. "You're freezing." I pulled off my coat, and wrapped it around him. "Come on, let's go home." I helped my son off of the ground and slung my arm over his shoulder. Together, we walked back to the car in silence. David was really cold, but he didn't have frostbite or hypothermia, that much I could tell. When we finally got back to the car, David slid into the passenger seat and looked into his lap. "Are you all right, David?" David nodded and looked out the window and into the cold dark night. "David, you and I are going to have to talk tomorrow." David was about to interrupt me, when I cut him off and continued. "We're not going to send you to a boarding school, and if you want to date Ian, that's fine. I just want to understand." David nodded. "I'm sorry I'm gay, Dad. I..." "Shhhh. Don't be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry about. David, I'm just sorry that you felt you couldn't talk to me." "I just thought..." David paused, and looked at me. "I thought that you wouldn't want me to be gay." "That's not something I can control. You're my son, David." I brushed the hair out of his eyes. "And I love you." When David and I finally got home, he and I sat down in front of the fireplace and had a man-to-man talk. When he finally went to bed, I felt I knew him better. He had told me about his fears and how he thought that I was homophobic. I listened as he told me about how hard it was to keep his feelings buried. Although I had to ground David for fighting, I was almost glad that he had been in a fight. It had brought us closer together. The shame was that we had ever drifted apart. As I crawled into bed with Cindy, I nudged her and told her that we'd have to invite Ian's parent's over for supper. If David truly loved Ian, as he said he did, then we needed to get to know his parents. Continued.