Date: Sat, 26 May 2001 08:32:36 From: Chip Dyp <chipdyp@hotmail.com> Subject: Judgment Error 24 The following program contains material suited for a mature audience. If you are not over 18 you should be leaving now. Of course I can't control you and neither can anyone else really. This story is entirely false except for the true parts. And now for our feature presentation. Viewer Discretion is advised... My web site is located at http://www.geocities.com/chipdyp/index.html Judgment Error 24 by: Chip Dyp (chipdyp@hotmail.com) As Ian led David through the doorway into his room, he pulled off his shirt. He turned and smiled at his nervous boyfriend before wrapping him up in a hug. "You don't have to be nervous, David. Remember, no expectations, and if things don't feel right, then we'll stop." David nodded and took a deep breath. "All right. You look beautiful." Ian blushed and bit his lower lip. "You're not so bad yourself." David smiled, and removed his shirt. "I don't look as good as you do. You've got some muscle definition going on." "Swimming will do that to you." Ian took a step forward and kissed David gently on the cheek. David took a deep breath and lifted his chin. He let out a little moan and looked back down at Ian. "What do you want me to do?" David whispered. He tentatively reached out to touch Ian's pale chest. Ian smiled at David and unbuttoned his pants. "Let's play follow the leader." Slowly, he unzipped his fly before allowing his pants to fall to the floor. Casually, he stepped out of the pile of cotton, and took a step towards David. His skimpy blue bikini briefs bounced slightly as they struggled to contain his tumescent manhood. David stared at Ian's briefs for a long moment before looking Ian in the eyes. "Wow," he breathed. "I..." Ian smiled at David and blushed once more. He had bought the bikini briefs especially for David. He was hoping that David would approve. The reaction he received was better than he ever expected. The only reason he was really forcing the issue was to please David. The boys continued to stare at each other for several long moments. "I think it's your turn now," Ian said. Although Ian was doing this for David, he was still eager to see what lay beneath David's jeans. Ian licked his dry lips and stared at his boyfriend hungrily. David shook his head and blushed. He reached down and popped the button on his jeans. Slowly, they slid down his muscular thighs and calves. There was a clear spot of precum marking the tip of his erect penis. Ian could clearly see the head of David's penis delineated against the white fabric. His mouth dropped open as he slowly reached out. Tentatively, he stroked David, eliciting a moan. Ian gulped and pulled his hand back as if it had been burned. Simply touching David sexually brought back images Ian thought he had buried deep within his subconscious. He closed his eyes and tried to banish the demons that were now tormenting him. It took everything he had for Ian to push an image of Stefan out of his mind. Ian looked at David. "You're like a Greek God," he whispered. "So far out of the reach of mere mortals. You deserve better than me." Ian hoped his voice had been steady. He wanted to do this. If he didn't do this, David would just go and find someone else. He didn't want that. He wanted David for himself. Oblivious to the turmoil Ian was experiencing; David shook his head and took his hand. He pressed it against his warm chest and looked Ian right in the eyes. "You're wrong, Ian. No one has ever captured my heart and soul like you have. You make me feel better than I have ever felt in my life. You are what was missing in my life. And now I have found you. You are the one for me. I can only hope that I am what you want, what you need." David's words calmed Ian's inner fear. He realised that David wouldn't hurt him. Ian smiled, and hit David gently on the arm. "You big jerk. You're going to make me cry." David laughed and kissed Ian's hand. "Forgive me?" "Of course." Ian wrapped his arms around David and hugged him tightly. David paused for a moment before allowing himself to hug Ian in return. As his arms touched Ian's hot flesh he held his breath. Ian just held onto David tighter. David let out his breath. Maybe Ian can do this. When David hugged him, Ian's heart began to race. This is what I want. David loves me. I love him. We can do this. Ian closed his eyes and tried to relax in his boyfriend's loving embrace, but the demons were returning. Flashbacks of that horrible night in the cabin tormented him. Images of Stefan using him crushed his tortured confidence. He just had to get out of David's arms now. Ian's eyes snapped open, and he pulled away from David. He could see the concern in David's eyes. He stumbled and stuttered as he tried to reassure his love. "I, uh, I think it's time for us to, uh press on." Quickly before he lost his nerve. "Ian, are you all right?" David asked. He could see Ian's arm twitching ever so slightly. "Maybe we should stop for now." "No. I'm ready to do this." Ian stepped up to David and roughly pulled down his boyfriend's briefs. Speed is the key, he thought. If we do this fast and get it over with I'll be able to do it. "Hey, take it easy!" David said as he got caught in the elastic band. His hard cock snapped back, smacking against his stomach. "Oh God... I'm...I'm sorry, David. I'm so sorry, David." Ian couldn't tear his eyes away from David's rock hard cock. It was thick and long and proud. His heart was racing as he began to breathe faster and faster. Ian thought about the night he'd been raped by Stefan. The comfort that David's earlier words had brought him was gone now. Now all he felt was sheer terror. David was going to hold him down and take him, just like Stefan had. No, he's not, Ian thought. He had to do this. Fighting a losing battle to keep control, Ian pushed down his own underwear. His breathing grew faster and faster as the blood pounded through his veins. "Ian." David kept his eyes firmly fixed on Ian's and tried to keep calm. Ian was going way too fast. He was losing control and David knew it. "I'm fine!" Ian began to shake. He couldn't afford to be weak now. He had to go on. He had to do this for David. He had to do this for their relationship. He took a step forward, and took hold of David's arm. Forcefully, he pulled David's hand and pressed it to his own deflating cock. When David's hand touched him, Ian broke down. All he could think about now was how he'd been hurt by Stefan. He pushed David away and ran past his startled boyfriend. David turned to go after him, but he was too slow on his feet. He saw the bathroom door slam shut and heard Ian as he started to cry. * * * * * * David sat on the floor outside the bathroom, waiting for Ian to say something, to say anything really. He had his briefs and his shirt on again. He realised that when Ian came out of the bathroom, he wouldn't want to see David naked again. David smacked his palm against his forehead for the umpteenth time. "Why did I let Ian talk me into this?" He felt so stupid for letting Ian convince him that everything was all right. David stopped for a moment when he realised that this wasn't Ian's fault. "This is my fault," he said quietly. "I could've said no at any time." But, I didn't because I wanted to believe Ian was all right. I wanted to have sex. Did I force him to try and have sex? Is he hurting because of me? David sat and thought about everything that had happened over the past month and half. What if I had done something different? David began breathing deeper and deeper as he thought more and more about Ian and everything they had done. Why didn't I say no? Have I hurt Ian more than Stefan did? David forced those thoughts from his mind as he heard Ian stop crying. He could hear his boyfriend behind the door. No light shone beneath the door to indicate his presence; there were only quiet sobs from a scared, emotionally scarred boy. "Ian, I'm sorry." David said, to the door. He paused as he hoped and prayed for a response. He waited for almost a minute before trying again. "Ian, are you all right?" There was still no response to David's entreaties. He banged his head against the wall in frustration. He wanted to go into the bathroom, to try to comfort Ian, but he was scared. David thought he might make things worse if he forced Ian into a corner. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. "Ian, please talk to me. I'm so sorry, baby. Please forgive me." David put his head to the door and struggled to listen to what was going on. All he could hear were quick breaths from the other side of the door. He pulled his knees to his chest and looked down at his bare feet. If it took all weekend, he'd be waiting here for Ian. * * * * * * Ian lay on the bathmat looking at the dimly lit walls. He could see the occasional hair lying on the floor, gleaming in the darkness. His knees were drawn up to his chest, and his heart was still beating rapidly. He couldn't catch his breath, and was still shaking. Ian couldn't keep the images of Stefan from his mind. He could see Stefan smiling as he slapped him. "You know you want it, you little bitch." Stefan said as he forced Ian's ankles up to his ears. "No! Help, someone please help me." Ian yelled. He felt a sharp pain as Stefan entered him. Stefan's face drew close to Ian's, smiling the whole time. "You're such a tight little whore, aren't you?" "No, let me go." Stefan smiled. "You're mine." "No, please let me go." "Over my dead body." Stefan smiled once more and Ian was dumped back into the reality. Though it hadn't happened that way, Ian was still scared of what he had seen. He could hear David knocking on the door. "Ian, open the door, please." Ian wiped the tears from his eyes and sidled over to the door. "I'm all right," he said. He wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to stop crying. He forced himself to take deep breaths and calm down. When he finally caught his breath and his heart was no longer racing, he leaned close to the door "Can you get me some clothes, David?" "Sure. Just a sec." David ran to the bedroom and rummaged through Ian's underwear drawer. He grabbed a pair of flannel boxers and a tee shirt before hurrying back to the bathroom. He didn't notice the little book that fell out of the drawer. "I've got you a shirt and some underwear," David said. He held his breath, hoping that Ian would come out. He heard the lock pop and the doorknob squeak slightly. Ian's hand reached out from the darkness, groping blindly for his clothes. David pressed the clothes into Ian's hand and watched as the door closed again. There was no noise from the bathroom as Ian dressed. About a minute later, the bathroom door opened slowly and Ian stepped into the light. "Oh Ian," David whispered. "I'm sorry, David. I just couldn't..." Ian shook his head in shame. He wasn't able to perform for David. "It's all right, Ian. Don't worry about it. As long as you're all right, that's all that matters." Ian smiled to reassure his boyfriend and before the faŤade of strength broke down and he let out a soft cry. David watched for a few seconds as Ian sobbed. He was torn. He wanted to reassure Ian, but was scared that his touch would only cause more pain. In the end, he tentatively reached out and hugged him. Ian tensed for a moment, then melted into his arms and continued to cry. "It's all right," David whispered as he rocked Ian in his arms. "It's all right." Ian cried for several minutes before he regained control over his emotions. "I'm sorry, David. You must think I'm a total wuss." "No, I think you're one of the bravest guys around. You're gay, you're out of the closet, and you stand up for yourself." Ian sniffled and smiled at David. "Really?" He looked David in the eyes to see if his boyfriend was telling the truth. "Really. Why don't we go watch a movie together, and then I'll head home?" Ian frowned and it almost looked like he was about to cry once more. "You don't want to stay the night?" He had disappointed David. He didn't even want to be around Ian anymore tonight. David would make sure Ian wasn't hysterical and then he'd leave him. "Well I...," David stopped for a second. Staying the night didn't mean sex, it meant staying with Ian. "I thought you might want to be alone. If you still want me to stay, I'll stay." "I'd like that," Ian whispered. "All right." David smiled at Ian and took his hand. "Let's go watch a movie." Ian smiled back and let David lead the way to the family room. David sat Ian down on a couch and walked over to the video library. "So, what did you want to watch?" "Actually, did you want to see Bring It On?" Ian asked. He knew David wanted to see the movie, even if he didn't. "I'd love to see it. You have it on tape?" "Nope, but it's on Pay-Per-View. We could order it, if you want." "Well, it's your decision." Ian reached over and grabbed the remote. He programmed the digital cable box, as David walked over to a nearby chair. Ian was about to say something as David grabbed the blanket off the back of the chair. "I thought you might be a little chilly," David said. He spread the blanket over Ian, and then sat down. Ian smiled and snuggled closer to David. "Are you sure you want to be so close to me, I mean..." "I'm sure. I'm not ready for sex, but I want to be near you." Ian smiled. He hoped David would still want to be near him. "All right." David relaxed a little more and stroked Ian's shoulder. The movie started and both boys sat back and relaxed. Ian relaxed more and more, never really getting into the movie, but happy that David was still there. Eventually his eyes grew heavy, and his breathing began to slow. When the movie ended, David looked down at Ian and realised he was asleep. "Sleeping beauty," David whispered to himself. He smiled at his own little joke. Unlike the fairy tale, no prince was going to kiss Ian and wake him up. He needed his sleep. David turned down the television, and let Ian sleep. About an hour later, Ian woke up and stretched a little. David smiled stroked Ian's back. "You missed the end of the movie." "How did it end?" Ian asked. He looked up at David and smiled. "The black cheerleaders won." "Mmmm." "And the gay cheerleader hit on a cute guy." "A cute guy? That's sweet. You should find a cute guy for yourself." "I already have one," David whispered. "You're far cuter than that cheerleader." "Hardly. I'm short, and skinny with white hair, pale skin, and pink eyes." "You're a very special guy Ian. You're gregarious, smart, funny, outspoken, and intoxicatingly beautiful. You may not think so, but I'm sure that there are a lot of guys in our school who'd love to go out with you. I was just lucky enough to ask you first." Ian smiled and blushed at David's compliments. He knew that David was just trying to make him feel better. "You're just trying to make me feel better." David brushed the hair from Ian's eyes. "Nope. Ian I love you, no matter what happens. No matter what obstacles we may face." Ian sat up a little and kissed David on the cheek. "You're so wonderful to me." "I try." Ian stood and offered David his hand. "I'm kinda tired. You ready for bed?" "Yeah, I didn't get much sleep last night." "Nervous about tonight?" Ian frowned as he looked away from David. David wanted to go forward, and he was holding the relationship back. "A little. I was just thinking about my future." With Ian's help, David stood up and followed him to the bedroom. "You're going to have to tell me about what you were thinking about after I brush my teeth." "All right, but you have to tell me about how you see your future." "It's a deal. Did you want to use the bathroom first or can I go first?" "You go first, I've gotta grab my stuff out of my book bag." "All right." Ian stepped out of the bedroom leaving David alone. David grabbed his backpack and pulled out his toiletries kit. A box of condoms that his father had given him fell out of the bag. He grabbed the box and put it back into his the bag. He pushed it all the way to the bottom to make sure it wouldn't fall out again. David scratched himself and walked out of the bedroom. A few minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Ian smiled at David. "All done." "You look mahvellous." "You don't look too bad yourself." "Well, give me a couple of minutes, and I'll look better." David quipped. He pushed the bathroom door shut and got ready for bed. When he was finished, he walked back to the bedroom where he saw Ian sitting on the edge of the bed holding the notebook that had been in the underwear drawer. Ian looked up and glared at David when he entered the room. "What's wrong, Ian?" "Why were you snooping in my drawers?" "I wasn't snooping," David said. "I was just getting you a pair of underwear." "And this book just happened to come out?" Ian asked sarcastically. "It must have. Why? What's the big deal? What's so special about that book?" "You didn't read it?" Ian asked. "No. I didn't have time to read it. I was hurrying to get you some underwear and a shirt, I swear." Ian looked down in his lap in shame. He didn't sleep with David and now he accused him of being a snoop. What a great boyfriend he was turning out to be. David sat beside him, and put his arm around Ian's shoulder. "What's in the book, baby? Is it your diary?" "Sort of," Ian whispered. "Well, I promise I didn't read it and I won't read it if you don't want me to." "I'm sorry I accused you of snooping. I just don't want anyone to look at this." Ian held the book up and looked at David. "It's all right. Why don't you put it away, and then you can tell me about how you see your future developing." Ian nodded and put the book back into the underwear drawer. He went over to the bed and pulled back the comforter. "Which side of the bed did you want to sleep on?" "It doesn't matter to me." "I'll sleep on this side then," Ian said. He turned on a night light, before turning off the overhead light. David watched in the dim light as Ian pulled off his tee shirt, and slipped into bed. "Did you want me to wear my shirt?" "Not if you don't want to wear it." David looked at Ian for a moment before pulling off his tee shirt. He slipped into the bed beside Ian. "So, how do you see yourself spending your future?" "Actually, can we talk about that tomorrow? I'm just not in the mood right now." "All right." Ian shut off the light and rolled onto his side. David rolled onto his side to face Ian's back. "David," Ian whispered. "Yeah?" "Can you hold me?" David sidled close to Ian and held him tightly. "Is this all right?" "It's perfect," Ian whispered. After about an hour's sleep, Ian started kicking and thrashing. David woke up and tried to calm his boyfriend. It didn't work though. Ian started rolling and trying to get out of David's grip. David rolled out of the bed, and watched as Ian continued thrashing for a couple more minutes before stopping in the middle of the bed. David looked at Ian and frowned. He lay down on the floor, and closed his eyes. Ian woke up with a lurch, his heart pounding and the sweat pouring off his body. He put his hand to his face and struggled to slow his breathing. He could still see Stefan laughing at him in his dreams. It was so real. He could feel Stefan holding him. And then he realised that he was alone. "David," he whispered. He looked around the room for his missing boyfriend. "David, where are you?" He whispered more urgently. He listened carefully for a moment and heard one of the cats purring. Ian peaked over the edge of the bed and shook his head. "Oh, David." He was lying on the floor, shivering in the cool night air. Louis and Lestat were lying next to him, trying to keep him warm. Carefully, Ian grabbed the blankets from his bed and placed them on David. Ian slipped out of the bed, and lay down behind David, wrapping him in his arms. He felt David's cool skin against his own and frowned. This had been a horrible night for David, Ian thought. "You're warm," David said. "You're cold," Ian said. "Is sleeping with me so horrible that you had to sleep on the cold hard floor?" "No, but you were having a nightmare." "Oh. I'm sorry." "It's all right. I'm not blaming you or anything, but I thought it might be easier for you to sleep if I wasn't in the bed with you." "It may be a little easier, but I'd rather have you with me." Ian stroked David's chest and hugged him just a little tighter. "And I'd rather have you with me," David whispered. "You know, I haven't had a nightmare in a long time." "You think that us trying to have sex brought them back?" David asked. "That or seeing the book again." "What's in the book?" "When I was seeing the psychiatrist, she told me that I should write my dreams in a notebook. She said it would help me, and it did." "Why did you stop seeing her?" "I didn't think I needed her anymore. Maybe I do." "Maybe," David whispered. "Did you still want to sleep with me?" "Yeah." "Then why don't we crawl back into your bed? It's much warmer." Ian giggled and kissed David's back. The boys sorted everything out and crawled back under the covers on top of the bed. Ian rolled on his side so he was facing David and moved closed. He buried his head in David's chest and held onto him tightly. "Comfy?" David asked. "Yeah. Is this all right for you?" "It's perfect. Good night, baby." "Good night." Continued.