Date: Sun, 27 May 2001 09:33:55 From: Chip Dyp <chipdyp@hotmail.com> Subject: Judgment Error 25 The following program contains material suited for a mature audience. If you are not over 18 you should be leaving now. Of course I can't control you and neither can anyone else really. This story is entirely false except for the true parts. And now for our feature presentation. Viewer Discretion is advised... My web site is located at http://www.geocities.com/chipdyp/index.html Judgment Error 25 by: Chip Dyp (chipdyp@hotmail.com) "I'm gonna miss you baby," Ian said. He hugged David tightly and kissed him fiercely. "I'm gonna miss you too." David wiped a tear from his eye and started laughing. "I'm only gonna be gone for two weeks and I'm crying like a little baby." Ian smiled and kissed away David's tears. "I'll be waiting. Have fun in Switzerland." "I'll send you a post card," David promised. "And don't you dare open my present until Christmas Day." "That's hardly fair," Ian said. "You've already opened my gift to you." "I know." David smiled. "Have I told you that it's beautiful?" "Several times. Now go. If you stay any longer, I'll start crying too." David kissed Ian on the lips and idly pulled a hair from Ian's eyes. "All right, I'll go. If I don't my parent's will start honking." Ian laughed and opened the door. He waved to David's parents, who were waiting in their car and smiled when they waved back. "Have fun." "I'll try, but without you, it'll be hard." Ian smiled and pushed David out the door. "Go! I swear, saying good bye to you takes at least five minutes." David laughed and turned back to wave after descending the last step. "You have a good Christmas." "I'll try." Ian watched as David got into the back of the car. The Camerons all waved as they backed out of the driveway. Ian watched until the car was out of sight before coming back into the house. Ian rubbed his arms to warm them up and walked into the kitchen. His parents weren't home from shopping yet, so he grabbed a cookie and walked into the living room. Louis and Lestat jumped onto the couch and curled up beside Ian as he nibbled his cookie. "You guys behaving?" Ian asked. Lestat growled and rubbed his head against Ian's hairless chin. Ian stroked his soft fur, and smiled. Lestat growled again, and put his paw on Ian's mouth. Ian opened his mouth and allowed Lestat to take a look inside the pink cavern. Only when Lestat went to put his paw into his mouth, did Ian push Lestat away. "No, Lestat." Lestat growled and slowly walked into the kitchen. Louis jumped from the couch and chased his brother into the kitchen. Ian shook his head and looked at the Christmas tree one last time. He sighed and pulled himself up. "I guess I should go find something to do." * * * * * * Rob tossed his clean underwear into the drawer and hurried back to his brother's bedroom. Rob had dusted everything, and made sure that everything was where it was before his brother had run away. "I think it's clean, son." Mr. Ridel said. He took a step into his Jesse's room and put his arm on Rob's shoulder. "I just want to make sure that everything's how he'd want it. How things would be if..." "I know, Rob. I know." "Do you think he'll forgive me?" "I don't know." Mr. Ridel walked out of the room with Rob. "I hope he gives you a chance though. I know you regret what you've done." "I do." Rob walked into his room and sat down on his bed. "I still don't know what to get Jesse and Joseph for Christmas." "Your mom and I got them a gift certificate at The Bay to get some things for their apartment." "That's a good idea." "Well, I'm sure you'll come up with something." Mr. Ridel stood up and left Rob with his thoughts. "I suppose," Rob whispered. He lay back on his bed and looked at the ceiling. He lay there thinking about his brother and everything that had happened since Jesse had run away. The silence eventually got to him. He reached over and pressed play on his CD player. "Thief" by Our Lady Peace began playing, allowing Rob to distract himself. His eyes closed and he fell into a fitful sleep. * * * * * * "You ready for this?" Joseph asked. He rubbed Jesse's back, and tried to be strong for his boyfriend. "Yeah, let's get it over with it." "You're still not going to forgive him, are you?" "No, he beat me. I don't care if he's changed or if he's protecting his gay friend." "But, he is your brother," Joseph said. "I know. I know." Jesse looked at the front door for a moment then reached out and knocked on the door. He held his breath for a second and waited impatiently. Joseph placed his hand on Jesse's back and smiled in anticipation. The door swung open and Mrs. Ridel smiled. She rushed out and hugged Jesse tightly. "Jesse!" "Hi Mom." "We missed you so much." "I missed you guys too." Mrs. Ridel released her grip on Jesse and took a good look at him. "You're looking well." "I'm good." Jesse turned to Joseph and took his hand. "Mom, I want you to meet Joseph. Joseph, this is my Mom." "Hello Mrs. Ridel. I've heard a lot about you." "All good, I hope." "He keeps telling me that my lasagne isn't as good as yours. I'm gonna have to get your recipe." Mrs. Ridel laughed. "I'll make sure I give it to you. Where are my manners, come in boys, come in before you catch cold." "Andrew, the boys are here." Mr. Ridel walked down the stair and embraced his eldest son. "It's good to see you again, son." "It's good to see you too, Dad." Mr. Ridel hugged his son for a long moment before letting him go. "And you must be Joseph." "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Ridel." "It's a pleasure to finally meet my son's boyfriend. Why don't you boys have a seat and I'll make us some drinks." "All right." "Where's Rob?" Joseph asked. The room was silent for a second as Mr. and Mrs. Ridel looked at each other and then at Jesse. "I think he's upstairs," Mr. Ridel said as he poured a rum and coke for himself. "What would you boys like to drink?" "Vodka and seven for both of us," Jesse replied. "All right. Kathryn, why don't you go see where Rob is." "I'm right here, Dad." Rob said. He finished walking down the stairs and stepped into the living room. "Hello Jesse." Jesse didn't look up at all. "Rob." "Pleased to finally meet you, Rob. I'm Joseph." "Hi." "Why don't you sit down, Rob." Mrs. Ridel said. "I'll go get the veggie tray. Rob wandered over to the chair facing his brother and sat down. The only sound in the room came from the quiet tinkle of ice against the glass. "Here you go, Joseph. Jesse." Mr. Ridel handed the boys their drinks, and went back to the bar to get his and Mrs. Ridel's drinks. "Thank you, Mr. Ridel." Joseph said. He took a sip of his drink and placed it on the table. The room was silent for a few moments before Joseph spoke again. "So, Rob. How's school?" "It's good," Rob replied. He continued staring at his older brother, with a pained expression on his face. For his part, Jesse hadn't even looked at Rob. "So, what are you taking?" "English, chemistry, biology, French, and History." "A full load." "Yeah." Rob looked over at Joseph. "So, what do you do?" "I'm in university." Joseph took another sip of his drink and took hold of Jesse's hand. Mr. Ridel leaned forward. "Oh, what are you taking?" "I'm taking Civil Engineering." "So, how are you liking it? I've heard that engineering is quite a difficult course," Rob asked. "It's all right. It's a lot of work, but nothing that most people can't handle." "What are you doing, Jesse?" "I'm working for an advertising agency as an assistant to the graphics department." "Sounds like a good job," Rob said. He looked at his brother hoping that his brother would look at him. "It's a glorified secretarial position. But, it pays well so I won't complain." "Any chance for advancement?" Mr. Ridel asked. "Not until I get my degree. The experience will help me though. I'm learning a lot about the business." "Is that something you'd like to get into?" "Yeah, I find it very interesting." "So, where are you guys living?" Rob asked. Jesse took a sip of his drink and sat back. He still refused to look Rob in the eye. After a few seconds of silence, Joseph stepped up and answered the question. "We have an apartment on Broadway." "Oh," Rob replied. There was silence again until Mrs. Ridel brought out the veggie tray. "Come on everyone, dig in." Rob managed to meet his brother's eyes when Jesse leaned forward to get a piece of broccoli. His brother looked so much older. Jesse's eyes narrowed as he glared at Rob. Rob looked away, and quickly stood. "I've gotta go do some more shopping. I'll see you later." "Rob..." Mrs. Ridel said as he walked out of the room. "I'll be back later, Mom." Rob pulled the garage door closed and got into his truck. His eyes began misting over as he pushed the automatic door opener. As he backed out of the driveway, a tear rolled down his cheek. He let out a quiet sob and began driving. He had nowhere he needed to go. He just couldn't stand to be there anymore. * * * * * * Ian was humming Christmas carols as he washed the supper dishes. The night sky was so clear through the kitchen window. He wiped down the counter and pulled the plug in the sink. The dirty water gurgled and flowed down the drain as Ian grabbed a towel. He was just about to start drying the dishes when the doorbell rang. "I've got it," He yelled. His parents were upstairs wrapping presents and didn't respond. When he pulled open the door, he found Rob standing on the stoop. "Hey man, aren't you supposed to be hanging out with your brother and his boyfriend." "Can I come in?" Rob asked quietly. He wiped his eyes, and continued looking at his feet. "Sure, come in. Are you all right?" "I'm fine." "Bullshit. What happened?" "I don't want to talk about it." "All right." Ian led Rob into the kitchen. "I've gotta dry the dishes. Have a seat, and we won't talk about it." Rob sat at the kitchen table and looked down at his hands. He didn't make a sound as Ian continued drying dishes. "You haven't eaten have you?" Rob didn't say a word, but just shook his head. Ian sighed and walked over to the fridge. He grabbed the leftover lasagne and dumped it on a plate and threw it in the microwave. "I hope you don't mind lasagne." "I'm not hungry." "Whatever." Ian continued drying dishes as the microwave heated up the plate of food. When the buzzer rang, Ian placed the dish and a fork in front of Rob and returned to his chores. "Thanks." Rob absentmindedly began to eat the steaming dish while Ian put the last of the dishes away. "No problem." Ian hung up the wet towel and walked over to the table. He sat down beside Rob and pulled his knees to his chest. "So what happened?" "Nothing happened." "So, why do you look like you just killed your cat?" "I don't have a cat." Rob took a final bite of the lasagne and then pushed the dish away. "I can't eat anymore," he whispered. "All right." Ian picked up the dish and walked it back to the kitchen. When he came back, he took Rob's hand and helped him up. "Why don't we go down to my room?" Rob didn't say anything; he just followed Ian in silence. Quietly, the two boys descended into the basement where Ian directed them to his bedroom. Ian sat Rob down on the end of the bed and pulled the chair close. "So, what's wrong?" Rob didn't say anything for the longest time. His hands began shaking, and when Ian pushed his hair aside he could see tears roll down Rob's cheeks. "Oh, Rob." Ian sat down beside his friend and put his arm over his shoulder. "I miss my brother." * * * * * * "You know, you could've acknowledged your brother's existence this afternoon." Joseph pulled off his sweater and tossed it onto a chair. "Why? He couldn't accept who I was when I came out." Joseph shook his head and removed his tee shirt and his pants. "You just can't forgive him, can you?" "Have you forgiven your parents?" Joseph stared at Jesse and shook his head. "No, I haven't. They also have not apologised for what they did to me." "And if they were to apologise, then what? You'd welcome them back into your life with open arms?" "It depends. If they had changed, and accepted that they were wrong, then yes, I'd forgive them." "Then you're a better man than I." Joseph looked away, and sat down on the bed. Jesse sighed and sat down beside his boyfriend. "I'm sorry." "For what?" Joseph looked up and smiled at Jesse. "For bringing up your parents." "It's all right. Now let's get you naked." "You're such a nasty, nasty man." Jesse kissed Joseph playfully. "That's why you like me." Joseph's reached under Jesse's shirt and teased his nipple. Jesse let out a little moan and pulled Joseph's hand away. "I don't like you, I love you." Joseph laughed and lay down on the bed. "So, if you love me are we gonna do it?" "Gonna do it?" Jesse asked. "You make it sound so romantic." "Well, we can't do it like we normally make love. Somehow, I think you'd wake your parents up with all that screaming." "That only happened once. And no, we're not going to do it. Not tonight anyway." "Aww." Joseph playfully pushed his white briefs down until his soft cock was exposed. "Behave!" Joseph smiled and scratched himself. Jesse shook his head and pulled off his shirt and pants. "No." Joseph lifted his legs and pulled his underwear all the way off. He tossed them at Jesse and giggled playfully. "You are horrible." Jesse pushed his underwear down and shut off the lights. Carefully, he crept through the darkness and slipped into the bed. Joseph pulled him close and kissed the nape of his neck. "Good night, baby." "Pleasant dreams." They weren't in bed for five minutes when they heard Rob come up the stairs. There was a moment of silence before Rob opened his door and closed it behind himself. "Your brother's home." Joseph whispered. "I know. Good night." Joseph frowned and hugged Jesse just a little tighter. "Good night." * * * * * * Ian woke up and looked over at his nightstand. David had given him a picture and Ian had framed it. "Good morning, beautiful." Ian whispered. Ian sat up and staggered over to the bathroom. He pushed open the bathroom door and pulled his morning wood from his boxer's. He silently stood in the dark bathroom, waiting. Finally a stream shot out the tip of penis and splashed noisily in the bowl. "Ah." When Ian was done, he pushed his boxer's down and started the shower. He flicked the light switch and winced as the light shone into his sensitive eyes. "Oh God," he moaned. He rubbed his head and yawned as he stepped into the shower. The warm water massaged his sore muscles as he cleaned up for the day. When he was finished, Ian put his contacts in and stepped out of the bathroom. Nonchalantly, he walked into his room and almost had a heart attack when he saw Rob sitting on his bed. "Jesus. What the hell are you doing here?" Rob looked up at Ian, and then looked away in embarrassment. "Oh God, Ian. I'm so sorry. I needed someone to talk to." Ian hurried to his dresser and grabbed a pair of boxers. "You can look now, I'm decent." "I'm sorry, Ian. I didn't..." "It's all right, Rob. I've seen you naked, remember." "Well, yeah but..." "It's all right. Why don't you tell me what's wrong while I get dressed." "I tried what you said, but it hasn't worked. He still won't talk to me, or even look at me." "It's only been four days." "I know, but I want to spend some time with him." Ian sighed and sat down beside Rob. He put his socks on while he tried to think of some way to get Rob and his brother back together. "Look," he said after a couple minutes thought. "Why don't we go back to your house, and I'll talk to your brother?" "Do you think it'll work?" "I don't know. We can try." "I guess." "Cool. You head home, and I'll be along in a half an hour. I want to get something to eat." "All right." Ian watched as Rob left his room. Humming Christmas carols, he made himself a pepperoni sandwich and sat down at the table. His parents were out doing some last minute shopping, so he left them a note. Ian's relatives were due to arrive shortly after lunch, but Ian knew his parents would be home by then. When Ian pulled into Rob's driveway, he saw an old beat up Tercel. "Well, I guess his brother is home." Ian parked the car and walked up to the doorway. The chime sounded once before the door opened. Standing in the entranceway was a young man he didn't recognise. "Hi, is Rob home?" "Yeah. You must be Ian." "That's right. Are you Jesse?" "No, I'm Joseph. Rob and I were just going out to do a little shopping. Did you want to come along?" "Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, no, actually I was hoping I could talk to you or Jesse about being gay." "You're gay, right?" "Oh definitely. I know that for sure. I just want to know what it's like as you get older. Relationships, that sort of thing." "Well, why don't you hang around with Jesse for a bit. Rob needs my help buying him a gift." "Cool." "He's upstairs, second door on the left." "Thanks. Good luck with your gift hunt." Ian smiled at Rob as he passed him on the stairway. Cautiously, Ian walked up to the door and knocked twice. "Come in." Ian pushed open the door and looked in. "Hello." "Hello. Can I help you?" "Actually, I was hoping I could talk to you." Ian stepped into the bedroom and smiled. "I'm one of Rob's friend's." "I know who you are. You're Ian." "That's right." "Rob's told me about you." Ian laughed. "Only the good stuff." Jesse rolled his eyes and looked away. "Look, if you're here to plead my brother's case..." Ian interrupted. "Actually, I'm here to talk to you about being gay." "Ahh, sort of like a zoo. See the fag in his natural habitat." "Never thought of it that way, but yeah that's it." "I'm not an animal. I'm not here to be observed." "No, you're not." Ian sat down on the bed and looked at Jesse. "But I was hoping you'd answer some questions for me." "What kind of questions?" "What's it like to be gay and an adult? Relationship stuff. You know, that sort of thing." "Look, I'm not the person you want to get advice from." "Oh, but you are. See, I want to know how you are able to push the person who hurt you away even after they've apologised to you. How were you able to get over it?" Jesse glared at Ian. "Get out." "Nope. Not until you answer my questions." "Listen you little shit, get out." "Or what? You'll kick my ass?" "No." Jesse stood up and walked in front of Ian. "Why not? You could take me. I'm just a little guy." "I'm not going to hit you." "Good." Ian lay back and stared at Jesse. "Rob made a mistake." "So, I'm just supposed to forgive and forget? Let him ease his conscience?" "I don't know. That's your decision." "And what about you. Would you forgive the guy who raped you?" "No." "So why should I forgive my brother?" Ian sat up and put his hand on Jesse's chest. "Because you know he knows he made a mistake. Because he hates himself for what he did to you." Ian paused for a long moment and continued. "Because deep down you know you still love him." "I am so angry with him. How could he beat me?" "It's easy to hurt someone in a moment of shock or anger." "So, what should I do?" "That's your decision. You might want to cut him some slack. You're lording this over him. It's Christmas." "All right. I'll think about it. So how are you dealing with everything?" "I'm seeing my therapist again. She's a big help." Ian sat back and chatted with Jesse for almost an hour while Joseph and Rob shopped and talked. When Rob and Joseph came home Ian said good-bye and headed back home. * * * * * * Joseph yawned and lay down on the bed. "So, having a good Christmas?" "Yeah." Jesse sat down on the bed for a moment before standing up. "I'll be right back." Jesse crossed the hallway and poked his head into Rob's bedroom. "Merry Christmas, little brother." He stopped for a second and looked into the room again. "And I forgive you, but I can't forget." Rob looked up at Jesse and smiled. "Merry Christmas, Jesse." Continued.