Date: Fri, 13 Oct 2000 01:31:34 EDT
From: KillerPizzaMonkey@yahoo.com
Subject: Just Don't Think I'm Not

This is my first story I will post on Nifty.  I hope you all like it.  And
send me some feedback --> KillerPizzaMonkey@yahoo.com

DISCLAIMER: Do not read uless you are legal.  That means that you have to
be at least 18 years old (or 21 in some areas, even thought I do not know
where).

Josh
Chapter Two: Just A Little Research

	I went to sleep soon after I hung up.  My mom woke me up in the
morning, yelling into my room when her head poked in that I had school.  Oh
the fun and excitement, see Mel, see Josh and who couldn't ask for more?
Maybe there's some way I could snake my way out of going to school.
	"Get out of my room mom!"
	"What's wrong?"
	"I'm sick and I feel like crap."
	"No you're not, you're just faking, I can tell these things,
Zachary."
	Damn it, "So, I don't want to go!"
	"Zach, it's the first week of school, you have to go . . . Did
something happen on Monday?"
	"No.  I don't want to go to school."
	"I'm leaving at 8:00, so get ready."
	That didn't work very well, I thought.  So, I showered and got
ready for what would be the second day of school.  On my trek to the
dresser, I noticed something different about my body.  I hadn't grown, I
was still 5'10", my eyes were still green, my hair was still black but
there was something different.  Standing in front of my mirror, it popped
out like a sore thumb.  Arriving at school, I saw Mel sitting at the gate,
waiting for someone, maybe me.
	"Hey Zachy!"  Mel ran up to me and gave me a hug and a kiss.
	"Hey Mel.  What's up?"
	"Gee, you don't sound so psyched."
	"Well, I did just wake up before 8:00.  And I do have to spend
almost every class with Josh."
	"Oh yeah!  So where is this Josh anyway?"
	"He's around.  Probably at his locker, pinning a picture of me,
complete with magic marker blood on his locker door."
	"So why do you think he was so offish after you guys got down to
it?"
	"I don't know, I've been thinking about that.  He said he was gay.
He even French kissed me, but then, after he nuts, he throws me out.  It
just doesn't make a lot of sense."
	"Maybe he has issues."
	"Thank you, Mel, for tell me something really obvious."
	"Shit, you're supposed to be mad at him, not me."
	"Sorry Mel, I'm still upset.  Right after I got out the," The bell
rings for classes, "Never mind, see you later."
	"Yeah, at lunch.  Jack and Sean will be there too."
	"Alright, bye."
	Off to first class we go, I thought.  Maybe after the eerie silent
treatment from Josh, I can go play Russian roulette.  Josh was quiet too;
he was dead quiet.  It was spooky to sit there, beside him and have him say
nothing, stay comatose.  I didn't like it.  Yesterday he was so friendly.
And then we did it and he changed.  I felt moisture running down my cheek
and I closed my eyes to stop the rest from coming.
	"Zach?"  Mrs. Anderson said, "Are you okay?"
	"Yeah, of course."  I forced a smile.
	"Are you sure."
	"No, I'm not.  I can't hold it back any longer."
	Josh turned to look at me, with those wide eyes, not knowing what I
would do but telling me not to do it.
	"I've tried to be all macho, but my knee really hurts!  I think I
banged worse than I thought when I was riding yesterday."  I squeezed my
knee and winced, please buy it so I can go outside and cry.
	"Uhh . . . Josh, help Zach to the nurse, will you?"
	"Alright."  He said through clenched teeth.
	Josh stood up and grabbed my shoulder to help me up.  I stood up on
one leg, to make it look more real.  He glared at me.  Go ahead and glare,
I thought.  I remembered to wince when I reached the door.  Or maybe Josh
reminded me to with the kung-fu death grip he had on my arm.  I stood
corrected ten feet away from English.  "Why the hell did you have to do
this?"
	"Do what?"
	"Don't give me any of that I'm-so-innocent bullshit, you know what
you did.  You fuck me and then you fucking kick me out.  What's up with
that?"
	"Quiet, do you want to get our asses kicked?!"  He hissed as he
pulled us into the bathroom to talk.  Once he had checked the stalls for
anyone listening in, he continued.  "I don't what you're talking about.  I
thought you just wanted to fool around.  Not fall in love."
	"What about that shit, 'Do you have a boyfriend', 'do you wanna be
mine'?"  I mocked him.
	He opened his mouth, but just air came out.  "You're speechless, I
thought so.  God, I don't see what I saw in you."
	"It's not like we were going to pick out curtains or something."
	"Oh yeah, you can make everything so better by saying that.  It's
no big deal that I lead you into fool around with me by saying I was into
you."
	"It wasn't like that."
	"Really, Josh?  Pray tell, what was it like?"
	"I just thought you wanted to fool around."
	"Why did you kick me?"
	"You say it like I gave you a bruise."
	I lifted my shirt and felt the purple and blue spot I had found
after the shower.  It looked purpler than before, and it hurt worse.  "You
did, you insensitive little freak."
	"I . . . I didn't-"
	"You didn't what, mean to?  You kicked me hard but you didn't mean
to give me a bruise?  I used to think you were really cool, man.  And then
you do this.  I'm gonna go to the nurse and get some ice for this bruise,
that way you'd have served some use."  I reached for the door.
	"No, please don't go Zach.  I'm really sorry, I am."  He grabbed my
arm, hard.  "Please, I'm sorry."
	"Dude, let me go."  I pushed his hand away and opened the door.
This time he pinned me against the wall.
	"I'm sorry Zach.  Please, let me make it up to you."  He pushed
harder on me, I could feel his breath and I could tell that he was turned
on.  But I wasn't and I wanted to get out of there.
	"No!" I yelled as I kneed him in the crotch as hard as I could.
	I left josh there, trying to get off of the floor.  Sitting back
down in class, I told Mrs. Anderson that the nurse put a brace on my knee
and that Josh would be back form the bathroom shortly.  Poor boy, I hope I
caused some permanent damage.  As far as I cared, I was angry enough with
him to chop off his head and walk down Central Ave. to mount it on my wall.
Some things just aren't possible, damn it.  Josh came back in, limping and
breathing hard.

	Josh was right behind me in the gruel line, that's' what we call
the line for lunch.  He kept trying to hold eye contact with me.  But I
wouldn't have any of it.  After I had paid for lunch, I sat at our table
and glared across the cafeteria at Josh, who was eating alone.  Mel was
sitting with Sean waiting for me.
	"What has he done now?"  Mel glanced at me sideways, what could I
be thinking.  What did I do to that boy now?
	"Not much," I said, "Not only did we have a form of sex, but he
kicked me out, kicked me- literally and tried to 'make it up to me' in the
bathroom."
	"That's fucked up, dude."  Sean, "Do you want me to say something
to the guys at tryout?"
	"No, it's fine."
	Sean has made the football team every year since I can remember.
He is the total jock.  But he's not as homophobic as most in Calistoga,
which makes Josh a saint and my friend.  He was also my best friend since
first grade.  Not like Jack, who I had just gotten to know after he found
me when I came out to some friends, who swear they didn't tell him.
	"But seriously, what are we going to do about him?  Mel already
told me that you and him had a sort of, 'close encounter'?"
	"I don't know, I still really want to kick it with him, but he's
still be such an asshole.  What are his issued anyway?  That's what I
really want to know."
	"Dude, that's what everyone wants to know," Sean.
	"Well," Mel said, "Why don't we do a little spy work.  I'm sure
Jack would love to help us with finding out a little information about
Josh, wouldn't you , Sean?"
	"Sure, nothin' like a little snoopin' and dupin'," Sean rapped.
	"You always turn me on when you play the super sleuth, Sean."  I
added before he could get a word in.
	"Save it for Josh. . ."  Sean tried to play disgusted, "But I'll
get your info, you can count on me."
	"Thanks sweetie, I would hug you, but I just washed these clothes."
	"Ouch," Mel.
	"Yeah, I know.  Sorry Sean I didn't-" I caught myself in the middle
of something Josh would say.  "Yeah, sorry."
	"It's cool dude.  Just don't let it happen again.  But I gotta jet,
gonna hang with the guys.  See ya."  He took off towards the field.
	"Bye, man," I called after him.  "Do you have to go too, Mel?"
	"Well, yeah, kinda.  I promised my girls I would hang with them
too."
	"Alright, fine, I'll just sit here, all alone and ward off Josh.
	"That's a good plan.  See ya, and . . . I'll call tonight, cool?"
	"Yeah, cool.  See ya around, Mel."

	After school, I saw Josh coming up to talk to me, but Sean beat him
to it.  "Hey Zach, check out what I found out about Josh!"
	Josh was three feet away, deciding to walk by, when he heard what
Sean had to say.  He looked sideways at me and I pulled Sean over into a
corner so we could talk without being heard.  "Okay, spill."
	Sean flipped through a few pages of the file he copied, "He has all
of his immunes, been to four schools: two of them high schools no including
ours.  His homework record is good, his disciplinary record, however is not
that good."
	"What do you mean?"
	"He's been busted for using, sexual harassment, been in a shit load
of fights and has been suspended once with a promise of expulsion."
	"Damn, aren't we just a little criminal.  What about guidance
counselors?"
	"Depressed, not doing very much in one school.  He was harassed a
lot and he started 7 fights."
	"And the sexual harassment?"
	"Against a classmate.  Want to see?"
	"No, I trust you.  What did he do?"
	"'Josh made unwelcome advances towards a fellow classmate; which
including grabbing at genitalia.'"
	"Every guy should have a write-up like that!"  I grabbed at Sean's
crotch.
	"Watch it!"  Sean warned me, "You might 'cause something you can't
clean up."
	"Alright then.  Hey!  What are you doing tonight?"
	"Not much, how about you?"
	"I should be doing homework, but I think I am going to read that
fancy toilet paper you printed out there."
	"Be my guest.  I gotta go for try-outs now.  I'll see you later?"
	"Yeah, bye."

	Back home, I set Josh's file on the kitchen counter.  Josh was
eyeing it, just as he was eyeing me.  He wants to know what's in it.  But I
think he already knows, everything I want to know is in it.  Most of the
grimy shit about him was mine now, and I knew he couldn't handle it.
	Josh will call me tonight.  There's no doubt about that.

-------------------------------

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