Date: Tue, 4 Apr 2000 05:54:02 EDT From: Justin69SK@aol.com Subject: Justin's Story Chapter 9 Justin's Story Chapter 9 3/30/00 Written by: Justin Case --------- DISCLAIMER: This story is my life story. I am Justin Case a fictional writer. Some of what you read is fiction, some is not. This story contains graphic sexual content, and if it is illegal for you to read it, you really shouldn't. I won't know if you do. If you find this offensive, why are you here? I encourage my readers to write me with their comments, I can be located at Justin69SK@aol.com. If you want to give me a hard time, don't bother, I've had worse times than you could give me. The story, while based on my life, is not about you. If you think it is, you would know me. Any similarity of this story to anyone's life, but my own, is coincidental. With that said, boys here it is. Buckle up, it gets bumpy! --------- I woke the next morning. The birds were making a racket out my bedroom window. I laid in my bed, all warm and comfortable. A knock on my door, "Justin, are you getting up for school?" It was Mom's, she never said get up, she always asked if I was going to. I wondered what would happen if I said no. I'd end up home with "What's his name," no thank you very much. So I always got up, I might not have always gone to school, but I always left the house. I grabbed a clean pair of boxers, I was still wearing the silk ones from Sunday. Hey I forgot to change 'em. What with the little hoodlums coming in and interrupting me and Ryan. Yes, Ryan, JT was starting to seem so long ago. However close I held him in my heart and mind, he seemed to be a distant past. I had slept over Ryan's Sunday after the party with my gang, the inner circle of my life. It was a quick, spur of the moment decision to go with him. Didn't bring clothes, or a toothbrush, never expected to spend the night with him. Long story short. I had these damn boxers on for what, two days now? I grabbed a pair of my CK boxer briefs, I like them better. They support little Justin and his jewels. I think I look good in them. I chose the red ones. I always look at myself in the mirror, with just my boxer briefs on. I love the way the look on me, the bulge in the front. The way they cling to my ass cheeks. I do have a nice ass, if I do say so myself. I love the way they feel supporting my cock, and balls. Not like the silk ones that make me hard when I wear them, and I flop all over. The damn silk ones ride up my ass too. I grabbed a pair of my Boss jeans, and my DKNY top. The olive drab one. Tricia told me once it looked awesome on me, and I never forgot. Off to the bathroom. Took a piss, washed my hands, brushed my teeth, and showered. It is always the routine. Piss, teeth, shower always in that order. While I stood in the shower, I remembered how I was short with Grams at the wedding. I knew I had to talk with her. I had to come clean. I had to be honest with her. I had to take my chances. I decided I was going to call her and make arrangements to go see her. Today after school, it wouldn't wait another day. I went down to the kitchen, grabbed the key to the Sebring, my baby. And I was out. The morning was brisk. A bit nippily, the kind of cold that makes your nipples hard, and your balls shrink. I could feel both happening to me, as I sat on the leather seat. I started the car, and pushed in the Nas tape. The one JT left me, the one he left in my car the day he got murdered. "Life is what you make nigga, I'm gonna make it..." blasted from my speakers. I put the stick in reverse and backed out the drive. I arrived at school a few short minutes later. I walked to our spot. The spot, and the place I felt at home, with my dawgs, my boys, my friends. Tricia was there, she was always on time, and the first to arrive. Brad was there, and Cheryl, Pammy, Shelly, Robert, and Champ. We chatted, back and forth. It was nice, and the sun was warming the place up. Brad looked at me with that wicked smile of his, "Justin can you bring me home tonight? I'd like to talk with you alone." He said to me. "Sure thing Bradley." I replied, looking him in the face. School was a drag. Boring didn't come close. Mrs. Humphries gave a pop quiz. I hate that. I went through the day thinking about what I would tell my Grams, and wondering what Brad wanted to talk about. I felt bad about turning him down. I loved him, and know how insecure he is. I felt awful about being short, and not telling my Grams what was bothering me. Both of these people loved me and wanted to help, and let me know they cared. I shut them both down. The day slid by, slowly slid by. I met Brad in the lot, next to my baby. It was like 80 degrees out. So fucking hot in that school. I was sweating like a pig. Why can't they put air conditioning in schools? What the fuck is up with that? How you supposed to pay attention, and awake when its like freaking 90 in the class room? Doesn't anyone think of these things. Doesn't anyone care? I know I do. I unlocked the doors to my baby, and Brad opened my console pushed the little trunk button, grabbed the boot, and we put it on together. There he goes again with that wicked smile, he was so cute with that baby face, and his brown wavy hair. We got in the car, and were off. Off to freedom, off to where nothing matters, nothing is bad. We tooled around town, cruised through the Enfield Square's Parking lot. Brad asked me, "Justin are you my friend?" Oh no here we go again. "Yes, Brad you know I love you bro," I used the name JT had used with me. I liked how I felt when JT said it to me, and hoped Brad liked it the same way. He smiled, a warm smile. I knew he was in a good place with me, this Tuesday in May. Brad looked over to me, not at me, just in my direction. He said, "Justin I'm sorry about the other night. I just wanted to be with you." He was quiet. I said, "Brad I know, but where friends, and I can't be like that with you, your not gay." "I know Justin, but, sometimes I really want to be with you, really be with you." He floored me with that statement. "I am not attracted to other guys, just you." He continued, I stopped the car, and look deep into his eyes. I said, "Bradley, I love you more than life itself, but like a brother." I told him, "We can never do that with each other, it would hurt both of us." I reached for his hand, to make sure he knew how serious I was, and said "As much as I want to be with you, I would never want to hurt you." I squeezed his hand, as I said that, to emphasize my point. I found a parking spot, and we went into the mall. I found the phone banks where they always were. Right inside the door. I called Grams. "Hello" came into the ear piece, "Hello Grams, its me Justin." I said into the phone, and I heard Gramps in the background, "Red the phone." Gramps called Grams, Red. When she was younger, her hair was red. Now it was gray. She was lovely, had that soft face, those soft gray eyes. Her hair was always fixed just so. Never too long, never too short. She was like my mother too me. More of a mother than Moms. She used to say, "I don't know how she had children, not a maternal instinct in her body." Of my mother, her oldest daughter. I made the arrangements to go over that evening. Gramps was yelling in the background, "Pick up a coffee cake or something, Mother will have the coffee ready when you get here Justin." Gramps was diabetic, and he always used me to bring sweets he shouldn't eat. I cruised the mall with Brad, my friend. He was checking chicks, and I was checking the boys. We laughed and had a great time sharing our thoughts on the world. Brad wanted to go into Filenes and check some clothes, I wanted to go to Structure. We did both. After about an hour we bounced. I took him home, and went to my house. The hoodlums were home, and still in their school clothes outside on the back porch. Jonathan was crying, Jeremy was yelling at me, "Where have you been Justin? I forgot my key we been waiting for hours." I looked down at the two and felt bad for them. We went into the house. Changed our clothes and all did our homework together at the dining room table. The ride to Grams' and Gramps' was nice, I left the top down and kept the heat on. I listened to the radio, wanted to wind down. I stopped at the little store just before their house, and picked up a coffee cake. Gramps loved Entemans blueberry with the icing cakes. I grabbed one and paid the clerk. He was hot, made a mental note, I'd have to come back here. I flirted with him. He just smiled at me, another minute and I would persuade him to quit his job, and come with me. His name was Corey. He was 21, nice body, about 5' 8", auburn hair, and green eyes. He had smooth arms, no hair on them. The left one had a tattoo on the forearm. It was a Chinese lettering thing. I asked him what it said. "Love for all" he told me. I asked him, "Do you?" He looked at me kind of funny, then he got it. "I try." I said "Me too." I should have asked him if he partied, I thought as I drove up the drive way to my grandparents home. MY HOME. I walked right in. The home was always neat, and clean. Gramps built it himself when I was little, before "What's his name" was in our lives. I spent the first four years of my eighteen there. My sister, Moms, my three aunts, grandparents and me. We were like a family. My grandparents had two sets of children. My two uncles, and my Mom, waited like ten years and had three more kids. Gramps loved kids, and didn't want to be lonely he always said. I sat at my chair at, not only did have my own room there, I had my own chair at the table. Gramps was sitting in his chair at the head of the table, with his cup in front of him. He had that smile on him, he didn't wear his teeth. Unless he went to a wedding or funeral. Then he only wore his uppers. I didn't care he was Gramps. He smiled as I walked in with the coffee cake. I could smell the fresh coffee. Grams always timed it right. It had just been perked. Her recipe, don't turn it down until it boils over. We sat there making small talk, while we drank the coffee and ate the cake. Gramps said, "Justin, I'm glad you came, lets argue politics, you take the republican side and I'll take the democrat side." He smiled that that toothless smile, that one that made me feel warm inside. Gramps always liked to argue, he thought I should be a lawyer. He loved to practice. I said, "Not to night Gramps, I wanted to talk with you guys." I could feel the fear, I could feel my stomach not up. How was I going to put this? "Let the boy talk, Joe." Grams said to Gramps. "Sure, Red, I was just going to chase you around the table anyway." He said, and then looked to me, "She doesn't let me catch her anymore." We all laughed, it was one of Gramps favorite jokes. It helped to relax me to. Don't get me wrong I was still nervous, but I was home. I began my confession. I told them both how I had loved someone. I told them that I knew I was only seventeen, but I truly loved someone. They understood, they listened to my every word. I finally told them that I had loved another boy, and that I was gay. I cried, I told them about JT and his senseless murder. Grams got up from the table and came to me. She was crying, she put her arms around me, and pulled me to her bosoms. "There, there, Justin, we love you. We are here for you." I cried, harder, I was incoherent, I apologized to them. Gramps, stood up, he looked at me being cuddled by my Grams, and said "Justin, lots of people are gay, half the damn catholic priests are gay, from what I read in the paper. He may not be the most eloquent of speakers, but I loved him. "Red is his bed made? I want him here with us tonight." Gramps said to Grams she nodded. I was home. I slept soundly that night. It was a comfortable place, and I was at peace with myself. I felt like a ton of weight had been taken off my back. Like when your swimming, and you go way down in the water and come bursting through the surface. My grandparents loved me, I was still there little Justin. I would always be. I woke in the morning, quietly went through my routine, so as not to wake them. Left a quick note on the dining room table, that said. "Grams and Gramps, thank you, I love you both with all my heart." I drove back to Enfield, and went to school. After school, I went to the house. What the hell was "What's his name" doing there. My question was answered as I walked in the back door. "Where have you been?" came at me, from the monster in my life. "You little shit, two days this week you don't come home, yesterday your brothers had to wait on the porch for two hours for you." He yelled, his eyes were buggin, he was stressin. I could see the blood rush to his face. Fear took over, I couldn't talk, I just looked at him. I thought to myself they have their own key, nobody ever said I had to be here for them. I didn't know the expectations, Sarah Jane wasn't ever here for me when I was younger. Nobody ever gave a damn about that. That's when I learned how to break into these Harry Starr homes. I felt his huge right hand back slap my face. I felt the tears well up in my eyes. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. I wouldn't cry in front of him. "Go to your room." He screamed at me, his eyes fierce with hate. I turned to walk away and that size 14EE came at me, and connected with the backs of my legs. I fell to the floor, so hard I ripped my jeans, and scraped my knee. It stung. I was about to loose it. I ran up the stairs. He stormed out the back door. I heard him tear out of the driveway. I had had it. I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed some clothes, ran down to the kitchen, and got a garbage bag. I ran back up stairs and threw some things in the bag, and went to the bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush and other toiletries. I threw them in the bag, ran down the stairs to the kitchen. The bastard took my keys. I had no keys to my baby. I went to the phone. I called Ryan. I hope he's home, I hope he's home. The phone was picked up on the first ring. "Hello?" It was him, I cried into the phone, "Please come and get me at my house now." I said, "Be there in twenty." I waited on the porch with my garbage bag. The Saab pulled up twenty minutes later. I made my escape. --------- Well boys thats it. I'll leave you hanging. Did you cry? I did, I cried as I wrote it. This chapter is all true, except Ryan is not his name. Where do you think I'll go? What do you think I'll do? You'll just have to read more. See Ya soon. Love to you all. If you want to write me and offer comments good or bad, heres the address. Justin69SK@aol.com I love hearing from you. Love you all more than you know.