Date: Mon, 2 Mar 2009 05:38:43 +1300
From: canned-heat@hotmail.com
Subject: Kaimoana Tales, 7

Our meals arrived and I tried to relax and enjoy myself, but it was not
easy. Mum really had excelled herself. Coming here with these people was
all her idea, I didn't want to do it, and that's putting it mildly, but she
insisted and I was glad she did.

It seemed that I had two less enemies now and I'd gained two
allies. Choice! I was still a bit wary, this all seemed too good to be
true. After the time I'd had lately, having people actually being nice to
me was - well, different. It was Joel who'd started all this crap, but I
was prepared to let that go. If he could help put an end to it, that'd be
good. Way good.  And, he was bloody cute in his new clothes. He did
scrub-up nicely.

The food really was great, generous servings and good quality stuff. This
was a classy joint, way better than Maccas which was more our usual
style. Either that or Bilious Burgers, which was where we usually
ate. Still, I could get used to this - if someone else was paying.

The "adults" finished off their beers and then a second one each. Then they
started on the wine, red wine of course. They were there to party. I wasn't
interested in the wine, but Joel was. He tried asking, a couple of times,
but it didn't work. He wasn't allowed any.  Mum and Mr.S were getting
totally wrapped-up in each other and not paying much attention to us. Joel
dropped something on the floor, ("Whoops"), and he ducked down below the
table after it. I felt a couple of tugs on my trouser leg and I bent down
to look at his grinning face.

He put his finger to his lips, in the old 'shush' sign, and showed me the
half-flask of vodka that he had with him. Where the hell had he been hiding
that? Strapped to his leg, it turned out. He poured a good splash into his
raspberry and coke and held up the bottle, offering me some. 'No thanks', I
shook my head and sat up again.

I hope I'm not coming across as some sort of prude here, but booze and
drugs do nothing for me, they're for losers. Ask my Gran, she's always
surrounded by them.

Anyway, as the meal went on and the food vanished, the adults were paying
attention only to each other and no-one but me noticed how many times Joel
and his drink disappeared below the table-top. The level in his glass
stayed about the same, but the colour was getting lighter and lighter. I
thought that I should help him, so I asked for another drink.

Mr. S gave me some money and I went down to the bar for fresh drinks for
Joel and I.  When I got back, Joel stood up and said, "I'm going to the
loo. Do you want to come with me, Virgil?"

'To the toilet, with him? That's what girls do, isn't it?' Whatever.

"Yeah, okay. I could do with a slash."

As soon as we got into the 'mens', Joel produced and lit-up a
joint. Marijuana, I'd know that smell anywhere, I grew up with it. He
offered me a toke, but I said no.

"No thanks - not my weakness. I don't do drugs."

"C'mon Kid, loosen up. The night is young and so are we. Have some fun!"

"I said no! You have your fun all by yourself, I'm not."

"Suit yourself."

I had a slash and washed up, even though I didn't pee on my fingers, and
then went outside to wait for him. Well, it'd be a bit sus if we returned
separately, wouldn't it? We were still not the best of mates, but I didn't
want to drop him in it.

We had dessert. Ever tried fish-flavoured ice-cream? Don't bother, it's
disgusting! Joel had polished off his flask, the bottle was on the
floor. He went back to the loos before we'd finished. Dork had his lighter
and a joint in his fingers before he even got to the door. No-one else
noticed.

"Right Boys," Genial Dick, our happy host, smiled as he pushed some money
across the table. "'Tash and I are going to a night-club for a couple of
hours. You can't come because you are just boys and they wouldn't let you
in. Here's $20 each, we'll drop you off in the centre of town and you can
go and do whatever it is that kids do in the city on a Saturday night. Have
a coffee, play some video games, terrorise the neighbourhood, whatever.

He paid the bill - there went half a week's teacher's wages. We went back
to the car and Mum drove us into the city. She shouldn't have been driving
with the drinks she'd had, but, whatever. There were no cops around and
she's had plenty of practice.

She parked in the street outside, and they disappeared up the stairs to the
Top Cat, night- club and bar. They left instructions for us to be back at
the car by midnight.

"Alone at last," Joel grinned. "Wanna make out?"

"Not bloody likely! What are we going to do, Joel? We've got 3 hours."

"First we'll have a wee drink, and then we'll go and find some action."

He produced another bottle, (Drambrurie), from under the seat and had a
swig. "Want some?"

"You know I don't."

"Suit yourself. You don't know what you're missing. This is good stuff."

He had another swig and then he lit, yet another, joint. I got out and
stood on the sidewalk while he smoked that. Smoking dope on your own is
just sad really.

He wasn't alone for the next one. Walking up Trafalgar Street, we met up
with a couple of kids from school, and they all sat, smoking and drinking,
on the steps up to the cathedral, while I kept an eye out. I didn't
appreciate the 'babysitting' comments, but it was better than what I
usually got.

All of the money, including mine, went on more drinks from an
Off-Licence. They were drinking 'Alcopops' which is a cheap and nasty
stuff, made for and targeted at teenagers.  It suits the breweries to get
them hooked while they're young, I guess.

I just had the privilege of watching the idiots drink themselves
silly. Actually, I thought that the others were putting the drunk act on a
bit. Joel wasn't, he'd had a head start on them.

The heart of the city was humming on a Saturday night, lots of colour,
lights and life. It was an exciting place to be, if you were over 18 and
had lots of money to spare. We weren't and we didn't, so we sat in the
shadows, on the cathedral steps, and watched while some of us got
drunk. What an exciting night!

I should've stayed home and watched tele.

We did walk, (stagger/reel), down and back the length of the main street
once. It didn't take long, it wasn't far. What we mostly did was to sit on
the steps and watch the world go by. Kinda cool.

Joel said something about how he couldn't wait until he got his own
car. Yeah, that'd be fun in the state he was in. I don't think.

The others hooked-up with some other kids and they left us to go and have a
feed and annoy the people in the burger place. We didn't go with them, we
were broke again and I wasn't hungry, for once!

Joel and I were left sitting in the shadows and he started getting amorous,
but I was having none of that! Maybe I would think about it if he was
sober, maybe. But he wasn't, he was drunk, and stoned, and - eww! I fended
him off. It wasn't easy either, even though I was sober and he wasn't.

As the night went on, there were some shady-looking characters out on the
streets, so I was glad to agree when Joel wanted to go back to the
car. He'd be handy to have around, if he was sober, but, right then, he'd
be useless.

We made our way back down the street, he was pretty wasted and acting
dumb. Who was babysitting who now? He stopped once and peed in one of the
big planter-boxes lining the edge of the street. It'd help to water the
flowers, he said. I did try to get him to, at least, go and do it in one of
the dark alleys between the shops, but he wouldn't.

He just flopped his dick out and did it in the full view of everyone
walking past. Funny thing though, none of the people looked at him, they
all looked somewhere else. I still found it bloody embarrassing. Joel
didn't, he just peed and giggled and told everyone how much he needed
it. Nice dick too, even soft it was huge.

The traffic was pretty quiet, there were more people walking than driving,
but there were still a few cars going past. Some of them were way too fast
and too noisy too. The 'car- boys' were out cruising the streets.

Joel nearly got himself run-over when he staggered out across an
intersection without looking. He would've been history if I hadn't grabbed
his arm and pulled him back out of the way. The car roared off down the
street with the horn blaring.

Sheesh! Who'd have thought it? Before that night, I would've happily pushed
him out and waved goodbye. Instead, I think I save the dork's life,
again. Did he thank me? Did he hell! He just stood and screamed out about
the parents of the people in the car. They weren't married, apparently,
among other things.

Back at the car, I stood and waited while Joel fumbled around and searched
for the spare key which was hidden above the front-right wheel. In the end,
I pushed him out of the way and found it myself.

I opened the car, we got into the back seat and had a humungous
argument. Joel wanted to do stuff which was probably impossible in his
condition and I was not having it. I wasn't kissing him either, it'd be
like kissing an ash-tray or something.

I told him about his own parentage and what I thought of drunks and
stoners, and then I climbed over and sat in the driver's seat, away from
his groping hands.

"Fuck off, Stafford!"

He went all quiet in the back-seat. I thought he might've been sulking or
something, but when I looked back, he was sound asleep, sitting upright
with his face smeared up against the window. His mouth was open and a line
of drool hung out of it. Not a pretty sight.  His jeans were wide-open and
pushed down around his hips. Yeah, despite everything, that was a pretty
sight. I couldn't leave him like that, so I crawled back over and closed
his clothes up.

Yeah, I admit it, I did have a bit of a feel-around while I was at it. I
couldn't resist and he didn't wake-up anyway. Another time, another place,
that could be a dream come true, but, no.

I got him sort-of decent looking and went back to the front. I couldn't
leave him exposed like that for the parents to see. I needn't have
bothered, they wouldn't have noticed anyway.

When they came rolling down the stairs, the parents were no more sober than
Joel was.  Damm! My mum's loud and screechy when she's pissed. Once a
slapper, always a slapper, I guess. There was no way around it, it was a
long way home and I was the only sober one there - so, I drove us home.

Yeah, I was unlicensed and way underage, but they were too drunk to
drive. It was not a problem, I'd been driving for years, Gran taught me. I
was driving her house-truck when I was only 10 or something.

It was a quiet trip home. Once they'd all settled down, the drunks went to
sleep and I was, more or less, alone. They all woke up when I pulled in and
parked outside the Stafford's house. Joel got out, puked in the flower-bed,
and then staggered inside. I went with him to make sure that he got to bed
all right.

He didn't want to take his clothes off, so I just pulled off his shoes and
covered him up.  As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out like a
light. Someone with less scruples than me could've done anything to him,
he'd never know.

I put a bucket by the bed, turned the lights off and left him to it. His
head was going to be so sore in the morning!

The car, and the parents, had gone from the driveway. I should've hung on
to the keys, but didn't think of it. Oh well.

I walked the short distance home and they were there, of course. They were
in the kitchen with loud music going and shouting at each other as they
made coffee.

'Great! Wide-awake Drunks, just what I needed.'

I went to bed, shut the doors and left them to it. I'd had enough of
babysitting for one night and I didn't want to know what was going to
happen next.

"Well, that was an interesting first date."

I turned the light off and went to sleep


(email - canned-heat@hotmail.com)