Date: Wed, 21 Aug 2002 06:31:51 EDT
From: Squall Thrawn <THRAWN5678@aol.com>
Subject: Last Chance for Jason

Disclaimer: This is based partially on real life, and partially on wishful
thinking. But as I have no idea about the orientation of the person this is
based upon, and thus this is currently a fantasy. But one can still hope
and wish.. If you're not old enough to be here, leave!! If you're a stupid
prick who gets offended by things like this, you're just stupid for
wandering this far. Your best bet is to just completely close the window,
as using the back button would probably be too complicated for you.

Author's Notes: I got the idea to write this story as a way of putting some
of my own feelings down in writing. The basic situation is one that I
currently find myself in, in present day. The names have been changed, to
protect the innocent.  bah-bah-bah-bah. bah-bah-bah-bah-bah... Think of the
Dragnet music right there.  Anyway, this will most likely be a one shot
story, unless it's really popular with all of you out there in readerland.
I've got a series or two to finish still, one in the regular celebrity
section, and the other in the boyband section. So unless I get a bunch of
e-mails asking me to continue the story as I can write a lot more for it,
this story stands alone, just like the cheese. My e-mail address is
THRAWN5678@aol.com. BTW, I use a lot of Wal-mart jargon in this story as
most of the story takes place there, so unless you've worked retail, you
might not know what some of these words mean. I've included the meanings of
them at the bottom of the page.

Read these other stories by Squall Thrawn (me):
You'll Never Guess Who Ran Into Me Today (boyband section)
The Chosen One's Choice (regular Celebrity section)

*****************************************************************************

Last Chance for Jason
by Squall Thrawn

"Man, it sure feels weird going back to work," commented Kevin Parker to
his mother as he got ready.

"Why, is it the fact that you'll actually have to do some work?" His mother
returned dryly.

"Ouch, that hurt," said Kevin, holding his chest. "Nah, it's just that I
haven't worked there in like six months. I know less than half the people
working there now. I used to know each and every one of them, and could
talk to any of them."

"Well, look at it this way, plenty of new people to meet and greet, who
haven't found out yet how crazy you are," said Mrs. Parker, smiling at her
only son.

"Well, it does run in the family," Kevin quipped. They both laughed. He
always enjoyed these conversations with his mom. He got along with his
father fairly well too, but Kevin and his mother had a special bond between
the two of them.  It had been getting somewhat strained, lately, ever since
Kevin had come out to his parents a month before, and this return to
normalcy gave him the feeling that everything would be alright.

Kevin quickly ran into the bathroom to make sure he looked
presentable. With his short dark brown hair and bright blue eyes, he knew
he wasn't ugly, but still didn't consider himself anything to write home
about. 6'2", he was average build and weight. Neither muscle-bound nor
flabby, he considered himself the most average guy he'd seen. Looking at
his watch, Kevin swore. If he didn't hurry, he'd be late on his first day
back at work.

"See ya later, mom!" said Kevin running out the door.

"Have fun at work.." The door slammed shut. "tonight, honey." Kevin's
mother shook her head. She worried about Kevin occasionally. He was a very
complex person. Though he was extremely affable and made friends easily,
his actual circle of close friends was extremely small. He seemed rather
open about everything, yet she knew that he barely said a portion of what
all he was actually thinking. His coming out of the closet had come
completely out the blue. She was aware that he hadn't dated during high
school, but she had attributed that to his shyness at school. Heaven only
knows how the boy could be so friendly at work, and yet barely say a word
at school. Mrs. Parker suspected that Kevin was far more complex than he
let on. Each time she had him figured out, he would say something that
completely threw her off. Like when he told them that he thought he was
gay. She figured that it was just a phase Kevin was going through, but at
the same time, she had a feeling that it was the truth. If she could only
read his mind, she suspected things would be a lot simpler.

-----

Kevin arrived for work right on time. He quickly went to the timeclock and
clocked in. He put on his Wal-mart vest and headed off towards his
department, the Grocery dept. Although his store wasn't a Supercenter, it
still had a large Foods dept that needed constant stocking and zoning. On
his way to his department, he greeted the associates he had known before he
had gone on leave of absence.  Soon, he was back in the groove of things,
merrily zoning the shelves and pulling stuff down from the risers. When the
the page came over the intercom saying that there were Foods returns at the
Service desk, he quickly went over to the Service desk, tossed them in a
shopping cart he had, and started putting them away.

As Kevin returned his cart to the cart corral in the front of the store, he
noticed one of the new cart pushers staring at him. Shrugging, Kevin walked
back to his dept, pushing the incident out of his mind. However, he noticed
that throughout the night, whenever he was passing by the front of the
store, the same stockman had his eyes glued to Kevin. Intrigued, he started
up a conversation with one of the other stockmen, somebody he had known for
quite some time.

"Hey, Rick, what's that new cart pusher's name?" asked Kevin.

"Oh, that's Jason. Just started a few days ago," said Rick, glancing over
at Jason. Finally, Kevin got his first good look at him. He was somewhat
shorter than Kevin, with a slightly slimmer build. He had dark, almost
black hair, and his green eyes were piercing. Jason was standing next to a
blond-haired teenage girl, who was a cashier, and flirting with her.

"That his girlfriend?" asked Kevin, as he smiled.

"I don't think so," said Rick. "I'm pretty sure Jamie's going out with some
Lawn & Garden guy. Jason just flirts with every girl he sees around here."

"I see," said Kevin, a tad disappointed. But he bounced back fairly
quickly.

"Why are you so interested in him? Do you know him from somewhere?" asked
Rick out of curiosity. The two weren't close enough that Kevin had come out
to Rick yet.

"Oh, I don't know," said Kevin, "He does look a little familiar, but to be
honest with you, I wouldn't know him from Adam. Anyway, I've got to get
back to my dept.  I'll talk to ya later, Rick." With that, Kevin walked
back to his area. Rick watched his retreating back for a second, then
shrugged and went back to the carts, gesturing towards Jason. Jason came
over immediately, with one quick glance at Kevin.

Eventually, it was time to go home for Kevin. On his way home, his thoughts
were filled with Jason. 'If only he wasn't straight,' sighed
Kevin. Although his parents had convinced themselves he was only confused,
Kevin knew he was gay. Had known for quite some time, but he had only
recently admitted it to himself. He was, however, a newbie to the world of
dating other guys. It's one thing to ask out a girl, as the odds are that
she's straight. If she wasn't, no big deal. But to ask out another guy? The
chances of actually finding a guy that's not only gay but interested in
Kevin as well were slim to none. Ah well. Tomorrow is another day.

-----

Kevin groaned. He was just starting to get into the groove of working
again, and this was his fourth night in a row. Not that he couldn't use the
extra hours, but falling asleep in his department was starting to look like
a distinct possibility. As he straightened up the canned goods aisle, he
turned as somebody entered the aisle. It was almost automatic, as he
glanced at each and every customer who came down the aisle he was working
on. He glanced at the person to see Jason, the new cart pusher, walking
down his aisle. This was the first day Kevin had worked on the same day as
Jason since that first day.

As Jason passed, Kevin, being the friendly person he was, greeted
him. "Hey, Jason."

Jason grunted as he walked past Kevin without really returning Kevin's
greeting.  Kevin shook his head slightly, as Jason reached the end of the
aisle and turned onto a different one. He resumed his work, but soon
noticed that it was time to go on break. He headed right for the break room
in the back, and bought a soda on his way there.

Kevin entered the breakroom to see Jason sitting at one of the tables,
eating his lunch. He quickly glanced around and saw nobody else in the
room. Gathering up his courage, he walked to the table where Jason sat and
asked, "Do you mind if I sit here?"

Jason merely mumbled something, so Kevin took that as a yes, and sat down
in the chair across from Jason.

Kevin sat there in silence for a while, then decided to ask Jason about the
weather, as being a cart pusher keeps you out in the elements far more than
being a sales associate.

"So, how cold is it outside?" asked Kevin, as the weather was a great
conversation starter.

"Very," said Jason softly, as he continued to eat.

'Well, that ended that conversation,' said Kevin to himself. 'Oh
well. Maybe he just doesn't like talking while he's eating.' So, Kevin sat
there patiently for a while in silence, drinking his soda. Jason finally
finished his food, so Kevin resolved to try to start another conversation.

"So, where do you go to school at?" asked Kevin, trying a different tack.

Jason mumbled something.

"Sorry, I didn't hear what you said," said Kevin.

"Riverside," said Jason, slightly louder.

"Oh, that's cool," said Kevin, smiling. "I just graduated from there last
year."

There was no response to this, and Jason left the break room a minute or
two later, clocking back in and going back to work. 'Well,' thought Kevin,
'he doesn't seem interested in being friends, either. Oh well.'

-----

The next few months came and went, with nothing noteworthy happening in
Kevin's life. Jason continued to stare at him when he passed by, but barely
acknowledged Kevin's greetings. Kevin noticed that Jason didn't seem to
have any problem talking with other people. It was only when he was talking
with Kevin that he turned silent.

In the meantime, Kevin still hadn't managed to find any other guys that
were interesting or that gave any indicators of being interested. His
thoughts kept coming back to Jason, though Jason didn't show hardly any
signs of being interested, other than the constant staring.

-----

"I just don't get it!" said Kevin, waving his hands up in the air. "I mean,
the guy stares at me constantly, yet has trouble saying hello!"

"Don't ask me about that," his friend and co-worker Bill said. "Us straight
people are generally blind about that sort of thing. I couldn't tell you if
a person is gay or not if my life depended on it. Hell, we've been friends
for years now, and you still threw me for a loop when you told me."

"Well, we do tend to hide that sort of thing, for our own safety, but
still, one usually is able to pick up on that sort of thing," said
Kevin. "So what do you suggest? I can't really talk to him about it because
we barely speak to each other, and I have a feeling that if I talk to
anybody else about it, they might figure out why I'm asking, and I really
don't feel like dealing with a bunch of homophobes while working."

"I don't know, dude, I don't know..." replied Bill, shaking his head.

-----

"You'll never guess what I just did," said Kevin to Bill, as the two of
them sat in the local Steak 'n Shake eating and chatting, something they
did on a regular basis. A month had passed since Kevin had asked Bill his
advice on what to do.

"You're right, I'll probably never guess," said Bill, "so just tell me."

"Well, do you remember that poem I showed you about the Perfect Man at work
tonight?" asked Kevin. "And how it ends with the phrase that the perfect
man is gay?" Bill nodded. "Well, I folded it up, put Jason's name on it,
and put it by the timeclock."

Bill started choking on his Cherry Coke. "No way, are you shitting me?"

"I shit you not. I also put a little note at the bottom saying that if he's
interested, he could either leave the same note by the timeclock with his
response, or he can e-mail me. I'll admit, it's a bit vague, and bit
cumbersome, but I did it spur of the moment."

"I can't believe you did that," said Bill, shaking his head.

"Believe it, dude," said Kevin, grinning. "I might be able to resolve this
soon."

-----

Two days later, Kevin was shopping at Wal-mart, and stopped by his friend
Bill's department to say hi and figure out what they were going to do that
weekend.

"So, Bill, we're all set to go see Goldmember on Saturday?" asked Kevin,
grinning. Since Bill couldn't find anybody else, he had made Kevin watch
the first two Austin Powers movies and was forcing him to come along with
Bill to watch the third one when it came out in the theaters.

"Sorry, Kevin, I found out I have to work," Bill said glumly.

"I thought you were off work Saturday night," said Kevin, a tad confused.

"Kyle's taking a last minute vacation this weekend, so Bill has to work
Kyle's hours," said George, the other associate in the dept..

"So, when are we going to see it?" asked Kevin, bouncing back quickly.

"How about Wednesday?" said Bill. "I know you're off, and I get off at
five. We can meet here, and we'll ride together in your car to the
theater."

"That'll work, dude," said Kevin.

"By the way, Kev," said Bill gesturing Kevin over. The two went off to the
side.  "Today, I was up front getting my returns, and I heard Jason talking
to Rick and Sean about a note he got."

"What did he say about it?" asked Kevin, anxiously.

"I couldn't hear that part. All I know is that somebody left him a note by
the timeclock. Your note," added Bill in a whisper.

"Yeah," said Kevin dejectedly. "I guess he's not interested, if he's
spreading the note around. Oh well. Thanks anyway, Bill. I'll talk to you
later, I need to be home for dinner."

-----

The next three weeks were a bit troublesome for Kevin. Though he hadn't
signed the note and there shouldn't have been any way to trace it to him, a
few people still were still acting differently around him than
before. Common sense told him it was just a coincidence, but his sense of
paranoia told him otherwise. But Jason never said a word to him about
it. If anything, he ended up staring at Kevin even more than before.

Kevin was at a loss as to what to do. Bill had told him to forget Jason,
and the rational part of his brain was telling him the same thing. But
Kevin still couldn't get Jason out of his mind. He decided to ask one of
his online friends for advice, Mike.

THRAWN5678: i mean, i dont want to give up if theres a slight chance he's
interested, and yet isnt it silly to keep hoping when he didnt even answer
the first note?  NYYANKSRUL52: well, that first note was a tad vague. he
could have thought it was a joke. that could be why he was talking to the
other stockmen about it.  THRAWN5678: then what should i do? write another
note?  NYYANKSRUL52: thats probably your best bet THRAWN5678: i suppose i
can write it so that he thinks im just a friend of the writer. that way, he
cant really spread rumors about me, beyond me having a gay friend whos
interested in them.  NYYANKSRUL52: that's a great idea!!

With Mike's help, Kevin wrote a letter to Jason, keeping his own identity
secret, while giving Jason every chance to respond. As there was a
possibility that Jason had found out Kevin's e-mail address from a friend,
and since Kevin had put that same e-mail address in the first note, Kevin
made sure to emphasize that the first address was the friend's, and used an
alternate e-mail address as the "writer."

Jason- My friend's sources have told him that you have received the first
note I sent you. However, since my note to you was written fast, and didn't
make as much sense as I would have liked, I'm sending you one final
note. If I get a negative or no response at all, you'll not hear from me
again.

My friend has also informed me that you seem to suspect him of writing the
note. I recommend that you not start rumors on such shaky grounds. He was
kind enough to leave the note I wrote so that you would get it, as well as
lending me his e-mail address on the chance that you responded that
way. But I wrote the note.

To sum it up, I've seen you in Wal-mart quite a few times, and I find
myself attracted to you. A certain number of your actions have also brought
forth the question of whether you would be interested or not. I was
wondering if you would like to go on a date with me.

If you are willing, or even if you're not interested at all, there are
several ways you can contact me right now. The best ways, so that nobody
else suspects besides my friend, are thusly. You can either leave a note in
care of my friend who works there, you can leave a note with my friend's
name on it by the time clock in the back, or you can send an e-mail to
either my friend's address, THRAWN5678@aol.com, or my new address, at
TidusStrife112@aol.com. Or, if you feel uncomfortable giving my friend the
message, you can tape the message in the Grocery Dept. That's close enough
to my friend that he can grab it for me. You can tape it right above the
lower shelf of the Sour Cream and Onion Pringles. Ideally, placed where the
average person can't see it.

However, I cannot wait too long, as it would not do to spend my whole life
waiting for a note that would never come. Or even, a few weeks. Thus, you
have until Wednesday night to leave the message someway.

I will say this right now, this is not a joke, nor is it meant to humiliate
you or embarrass you. I am very serious about this.  Anything that happens,
should something happen, will remain secret.

This is your last chance.

Mr. Secret Admirer

"Well, I hope that works," said Kevin to himself. Although it contained a
statement or two of untruth in it, Kevin had felt it was the best way to
keep unneccessary heat off of himself. For as he had said earlier, he had
no problems with his sexuality, but didn't want to have incidents cropping
up with people who did have problems.

-----

Kevin looked back and forth down the hallway. The coast was clear. There
was nobody in the break room. Quickly, he taped the note above the
timeclock, then checked his hours on the timeclock for the week before. He
had picked the perfect time for posting it. Right after he had finished and
was checking his hours, Dan the stockman came down the hall. Without a
second glance, Kevin walked into the break room and sat down, and started
reading the paper. But he soon discovered that while he had picked the best
time for posting it as far as nobody seeing him do it, unfortunately it
wasn't the best time as far as Jason finding it.

As Kevin half watched the timeclock as he read the paper, he saw Jason come
over to the timeclock and pick up the note not ten minutes after Kevin had
left it.  Kevin couldn't tell whether he read it or not. If Jason had
looked at him at that time, the expression on Kevin's face would have given
him away. The whole world seemed to slow down for a second, as Kevin waited
for the big blowup. But nothing happened. Jason either hadn't read it yet,
or else he hadn't yet put two and two together.

-----

Kevin sat on pins and needles for the next two days. There were no notes
left anywhere, his e-mail address remained empty (besides the usual spam),
and Jason hadn't said a word to him. Kevin finally gave up. Jason simply
wasn't interested.

On Tuesday night, Kevin was working aimlessly in his department, not really
accomplishing much. And then Jason came over. He didn't just walk by with
one of his grumbles or mumbled hellos. He walked right up to Kevin.

"I think we need to talk," said Jason. That was probably more words than
Kevin had heard Jason use through the last few months. That, if nothing
else, got his attention.

"Alright, what do you want to talk about?" asked Kevin. He wasn't going to
offer any information.

"This," said Jason, pulling out a piece of paper. The note Kevin had left.

"And just what exactly is that?" asked Kevin, still playing dumb.

"Just be honest with me. Are you, or are you not the one who left this note
for me?"

"Alright, yes, I did leave the note for you. We figured it was the best way
to give it to you, as the person who wrote it was too shy to give it to you
himself.  Do you have a problem with it? If you do, just ignore it. You
won't be getting any more of those notes," said Kevin.

"No, I don't have a problem with it," said Jason, becoming shy once more.

"Then why are you here? Is it because..." Just then, it hit Kevin. 'He's
interested. Jason is interested in going out.' Kevin managed to keep a wide
grin from forming.

"I think you've figured it out," said Jason, softly.

Kevin was elated. But then, reality kicked in. "How do I know you're not
just saying this so that you can find out who left you these notes and kick
the tar out of them?"

"I promise. I wouldn't do anything like that," said Jason firmly but
softly.

"You're right about that, cause I'd have to deal with you rather harshly.
Alright. How soon do you want to meet him?" asked Kevin, a plan quickly
forming.

"Whenever," said Jason. "I'd kind of like to meet him fairly soon."

"Well, you work till 10:30, right?" Jason nodded. "He'll meet you at the
local Steak 'n Shake at 11:15 tonight. There aren't many people there at
that time, so it should be fairly private. Grab one of those tables with
just two seats."

"Alright," said Jason, smiling nervously. "Tha.. Thanks a lot, Kevin. I
guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah, I'd guess so," said Kevin, smiling as well. "I'll talk to you later,
Jason."

-----

It was about 11:10 when Kevin pulled up in the Steak n Shake parking
lot. He was nervous as well, but was hiding it fairly well. He walked into
the Steak n Shake.  Jason was already sitting down, his back to the
door. 'Perfect,' said Kevin. He walked over and sat down across from Jason.

"K,Kevin, what are you doing here?" asked Jason, confused.

"Well, you said you wanted to meet me. Here I am," said Kevin, smiling.

"You, you mean.. you're the one who wrote the notes?" said Jason.

"Yep. Left them too. I figured it was the best way to ask you out without
risking being outted," said Kevin.

"W,Wow," said Jason. "I really didn't have any idea. I mean, I was kind of
interested in you, but you seemed so straight-acting. I mean, you're always
flirting with the girls there at Wal-mart."

"Look who's talking," said Kevin, dryly. "I felt that that facade was
necessary to keep me safe, from homophobes and the like."

The two continued talking into the wee hours of the morning. Neither boy
knew much about the other, and they discovered that they had much in
common. However, eventually it was time to go home, before their parents
called the highway patrol out to look for them.

"Listen, Kev," said Jason, "I really had a great time talking to you
tonight."

"Well, I enjoyed every minute of our conversation," replied Kevin, smiling.

"There's one little problem," mumbled Jason, his eyes glued to his
feet. Kevin's heart sank. "I.. I want to go out with you, but I've never
done anything like this before."

"Don't worry, Jace," said Kevin, grinning once again. "I'm not all that
experienced myself. Listen, we'll take it slowly. We're in no hurry now."

"Thanks, Kev," said Jason, smiling again. He started to turn towards his
car, but Kevin turned him back around.

"If you think this is too fast, that's ok, but can I give you a kiss
goodnight?"  pleaded Kevin. Jason smiled, and put his arms around Kevin.

Finally, after all these months of waiting, their lips locked for the first
time.  At first Jason was tentative, unsure as to how different this was
from kissing a girl, but as he continued, he got more into it. Then Kevin's
tongue licked across Jason's lips, begging to be let in. Jason opened his
lips gladly, as his own tongue started dueling with Kevin's.

Kevin was on cloud nine. He could have died happy right then and there. And
none of this would have happened had he not given that last chance for
Jason.

*****************************************************************************
And there we go!! I hope it wasn't too atrocious. I realize that I skipped
through moments of time, but it was indeed necessary to make this story a
somewhat more manageable length, while keeping it fairly true to real
life. Please tell me what you think of it. If enough people e-mail me, I
will continue this story if they want me to.

Wal-mart Terminology --

Stockman: Same as Cart Pusher. The associate who pushes the carts from the
outside corrals into the store

Zoning: A regular procedure at any retail store, in which you pull all the
merchandize forward, so that it is easily accessible.

Risers: The very top shelves. This is where a lot of the overstock goes. So
when the shelves get empty, the first thing done is pulling the overstock
from the risers.

Returns: All the merchandise that has been taken to the service desk one
way or another. Customer returns, merchandise that customers decide not to
get while standing in line, things found in the main aisles that have been
left there.

Squall Thrawn
THRAWN5678@aol.com