Date: Fri, 21 Jan 2005 14:10:12 -0500
From: EleCivil <elecivil@gmail.com>
Subject: Leaves and Lunatics - Chapter 9

Intro/Disclaimer:

Sorry for the delay, guys - but on the plus side, I've got chapter ten
about half done, so you won't have to wait too long for that.  Once again,
thanks to Nifty and Awesomedude for hosting this story, and thanks to
everyone who's written in.

All the usual disclaimers apply: Don't read it if you shouldn't be reading
it, don't blame anyone else if you get caught reading it when/where you
shouldn't be reading it, and don't steal it.

Onward!

-------------------------------
Leaves and Lunatics by EleCivil
Chapter 9
-------------------------------

Before the beginning of each Fall semester, the students at West Park
Middle School had to come in for a half-day to prepare for the upcoming
year, their parents in tow.  The idea was to get all of the new students
accustomed to the building and pointed in the directions of their
classrooms so that they wouldn't be hopelessly lost on the first day.  Or
rather, so they couldn't screw around in the halls and be late for all
their classes, then blame it on being hopelessly lost because it was the
first day.  The sixth graders complained, of course, but most of them
recognized it as being something worth their time.  For the seventh and
eighth graders, though, it was just another day amputated from their
summers by the school's cruel silver scalpel, and the general consensus was
that it was unnecessary surgery.

For Cam, this year's orientation was even more frustrating than usual.  He
had never exactly been a fan of sitting in a crowded auditorium with his
mom listening to the principal, vice-principal, and a bunch of other staff
members whose titles he couldn't remember give speeches about respect and
dress codes, but this year he had to sit through it all knowing that it was
cutting into his last few days with Nathan.  It was, simply put, enraging.
Once he got his schedule and supply lists, his mom would drag him to every
retailer in town to hit as many back-to-school sales as possible.  In
short, a completely wasted day.

They had arranged orientations based on grade level and alphabetical order,
so none of the others were there with Cam.  Nathan would have been.  While
they wouldn't have been able to do anything that might raise suspicion, at
least they could have sat through it together, secure in the knowledge that
they would be together for...for what?  Forever?

Yeah, forever.  Why not?  If he was going to play the "could have been"
game, he might as well come out on top.  Yeah, they could stay together all
through high school, then maybe rent out a small apartment somewhere while
they went to one of the nearby colleges.  Nothing extravagant, hell, just a
small room with a mattress on the floor would be fine with him.  As long as
Nathan was there...

But he wouldn't be.  He would be leaving the day after next, moving a good
six hours away.  A long distance for someone with a car and an impossible
distance for him.  Sure, there was still email and instant messaging, but
how was he supposed to survive on that after all this?  Nathan's perfect,
whispery voice replaced by 12-point Times New Roman?  His voice had already
started cracking at times.  Nothing huge, but it was pretty clear that by
the next time they saw each other, he would sound completely different.
For that matter, he would look different, too; the black dye would be gone
from his hair, reverting him to how he looked before Cam had met him.

He would look different, he would sound different, he would most likely
fall in with a new group of friends, taking up different in-jokes and
rituals, the kind that you can never understand unless you're there to see
them.  Cam knew that he would be doing the same thing back here in Gordon.
How could they possibly stay so close with so much distance between them?

Would it even be fair to try?  Chicago was a big city; there were bound to
be plenty of guys for Nathan to meet, and as absolutely perfect as he was,
there was no doubt in Cam's mind that he'd be able to find someone new.
Someone physically there that he could hold on to, someone who he could
fall asleep with in his arms the way they had spent so many nights in the
past few weeks.

That did it.  He couldn't sit here anymore, lost and alone in the crowd of
kids and parents.  He whispered something about finding a restroom to his
mom and squeezed out through the aisle of folding chairs.  It didn't feel
like he was moving, it felt more like the auditorium was melting away from
him.  The rows of occupied chairs seemed to slip past him, giving him the
same sense of motion that he would get from looking parallel to the tracks
while a train glided by.

There was a restroom right next to the auditorium, but everyone at the
assembly would go there first.  He crossed through the halls and even went
to the second floor before settling on one of the white brick openings in
the wall with a sign that once clearly indicated that it was a men's room,
but was now so scratched up that it involved a lot of guess work.

He shambled inside and made his way to one of the stalls, slamming and
locking the door behind him.  He didn't sit down; feeling a little crazy or
not, they'd have to pay him to sit on one of the toilets in this school.
Instead, he leaned against the now latched door, sucking in a few deep
breaths.  Just a couple minutes to pull himself together, that's all he
needed.

Some writing on the side of the stall caught his eye.  This stall, like
most of the others in the school, was a collection of unofficial student
artwork and poetry.  Such classic drawings as "Ridiculously Large Penis"
and "Slightly Less Ridiculously Large Penis" decorated the lumpy beige
paint that coated the walls.  Apparently, a lot of guys not only carry
markers with them when they go to relieve themselves, but these talented
young artists had nothing on their minds save for the male genitalia.
Given the location, not many other models were readily available, but
still, the visitors of this art gallery were well familiar with the
variations of that particular work and wouldn't have minded a change.

It was the writing rather than the drawings that caught Cam's attention.
In between various insults toward ethnic groups and school administrators
was one that read, simply enough, "GT (heart) RA 4ever".  He wondered where
GT and RA were now.  Together?  Broken up?  Two states apart because one of
them had to move away?

How did GT and RA feel about people reading their declaration of eternal
love while they made use of the facilities in which it was written?  Not
exactly the greatest symbolism in the world.  He made a note to himself
that no matter how sappy he was feeling, he'd never resort to men's room
romanticism.

'Not even if I had a marker with me.  Wait, do I?'  His hands brushed his
pockets quickly.  'Nope, empty.  Well then.  Like I said, never going to
sink that low.  I hope.'

----------------------------

They didn't throw some elaborate going away party on Thursday.  None of
them wanted it, Nathan included.  Every one of them could feel it - the
best summer of their lives was about to end, and their group was about to
be split.  Throughout the summer they had felt cemented together, their
solidarity symbolized with the leaf pins that they were still wearing.
Now, though, one of them was going to be ripped out of town.  Even though
Nathan was the only one leaving, pulling his pillar would leave a major gap
in their structure's support; a constant nagging knowledge that yes, they
could be split up, and easily.

"So, got your class schedules?"  Andrew asked, his eyes nervously flicking
in Nathan's direction for a split-second.

"Um...yeah, but..."  Cam started.

"Aw, come on."  Nathan groaned.  "Don't do that.  You don't have to avoid
the subject just because I'm here.  Besides, I want to know what kind of
classes you've got, too."

Cam nodded, pulling his schedule from his pocket and unfolding it.  The
others followed suit.

They compared classes, teachers, times.  They had the most fun with Jerry's
schedule, though - since Andrew and Jill had both been there for sixth
grade, they recognized most of his teachers, and were able to do some
rather less-than-polite impressions.

"Hey, look at that."  Andrew pointed to Cam's schedule.  "Cam's got the new
guy everybody's talking about.  Captain Ball-buster, the ex-prison guard or
ex-CIA or ex-con, depending on which of the rumors you want to believe."

"You know what that means, right?"  Jill said.  "You're going to have to
tell us all the horror stories about how he...I don't know, hangs kids from
the side of the building for talking out of turn."

"Now that's one thing I have to insist on keeping up with.  If there're any
horror stories, you guys have got to email them to me."  Nathan said.

"Right, as if Cam's going to go for any length of time without emailing
you."  Jerry started pantomiming typing on a keyboard.  "'Dear Clint, it's
been almost twenty minutes since I last got the chance to write.  Sorry,
but Mr. Ball-buster wouldn't let me leave the room during his lecture about
the thirty-seven proper ways to skin a cat.  Anyway, I'll write again the
next time classes change.'"

"Sounds about right."  Cam admitted, his upper lip unsheathing his teeth
into a classic over-bitten half-grin.

A short silence punctuated their conversation, as they seemed to all look
around at one another at once.

"Hey, anybody bring a deck?"  Nathan asked, scraping together a pile of
small rocks.

Jill and Jerry each produced a pack of cards.  Jerry stuffed his back into
his pocket.

"Mine's missing half the face cards.  I, uh, saw this thing on TV about
card throwers that were so good at it that they can, like, slit your throat
from across the street with a card...so, you know..."  He trailed off.

"Any good at it?"  Andrew asked.

"If I was, I'd know where my face cards are."

"I'm sure the pros lose their cards, too.  Hell, for all I know, you
could've left them in somebody's throat."  Andrew switched to a serious
expression.  "Don't worry about it, Jer.  One day, if you stick to it,
you'll be slittin' throats like nobody's business.  And nobody can tell me
that I never say anything motivational."

Jill looked like she was about to say something, but just rolled her eyes
and smiled before opening her deck and dealing.  A train roared across the
tracks, sending a cloud of dust and leaves floating past them, and they
started to play.  It was the kind of loose, light game that they were used
to, the kind in which everyone attempts to cheat in increasingly creative
ways and in general pay closer attention to each other than to the rules.

Nathan could swear that it had only been a few minutes, but he was already
watching the light on the back end of the nine p.m. train shrinking into
the distance.  Had he stepped into some kind of time-warp or something?  No
way had it been four hours.  Impossible.  He glanced down at his watch.

Possible.

Everyone was getting ready to head home.  This was it, they had run out of
time.  They said some things, and he probably replied to them, but he
wasn't paying attention at all.  Out of time.  It just seemed so final, so
painfully real now that it was here.  The End.  Capitol "T", capitol "E",
period.

Cam took his hand, and Nathan practically collapsed into him.  He had been
holding this in the whole time, not wanting their last few days to be
nothing but grim lamentations about what they were losing.  He knew that
Cam had been doing the same, could tell immediately by the way he seemed to
fall into the embrace the same way he had.  It hurt.  It had to hurt.  It
just wouldn't be the same otherwise.  For the first time since hearing the
news, they both let wave after wave of painfully nauseating emotion pour
over them together.

The others were gone by now, but it wouldn't have made a difference.  They
could have been in the center of a packed auditorium for all it mattered to
them.  There were no thoughts about the big picture, no logical
back-of-the-mind voices reminding them that somewhere there were people who
had it a lot worse.  Nothing but the two of them, standing and holding each
other in the clearing by the tracks.  The place where they first met.

It was completely dark before they started to take notice of the time.  Had
to be at least ten, maybe later.  Neither of them bothered to check their
watches.

"Let's stay here.  Screw curfew."  Nathan whispered.  What was it about
being in the dark that made you want to whisper?

"Okay."  Cam shrank to the ground, Nathan following.  They leaned back.  No
stars in the sky.  A typical overcast Ohio night.  The sky didn't seem to
have any sense of cinematic showmanship.

They were both at a loss for words.  "I'm going to miss you" and "I love
you" were on their minds, but both sentiments were so strongly implied that
saying either one out loud would almost cheapen it.  Instead, they just
pulled each other close and didn't move.  Going inside to sleep suddenly
seemed vastly overrated compared to what they had out there.

"Ow."  Cam muttered, slapping his leg.

"Hm?"

"Oh for fuck's sake - ANTS!"  He jumped to his feet, slapping at his legs.

"Damn it!  Every time!"  Nathan jumped up as well, noticing a few of them
on his own legs.  There were only a handful on each of them, and brushing
them off wasn't too difficult, but the idea of being indoors had suddenly
gained some credibility.

"Well, should've seen that coming.  Maybe we should go back to my place."

Nathan nodded, spinning around and letting his hands finish one last lap
around his legs.  "Wherever.  Just as long as it's with you, and preferably
without ants."

They stepped in through Cam's front door just in time to see the clock's
minute hand click over to eleven-thirty.  No, that wasn't it, there was
something else worth noticing, too.  Oh, of course!  The two adults sitting
in the living room, practically glaring in their direction.

"Well?"  Cam's father asked.  Fair enough.

Nathan took a step back as Cam took a step forward, their feet hitting the
floor almost in unison.

"I...I'm sorry, I lost track of time."  Cam said.  He really didn't have a
better excuse.

"Two problems with that."  Cam's mom replied.  "One - when it got too dark
to see two feet in front of you and all the streetlights came on, it should
have given you some indication that you was, in fact, night time.  Two -
you're wearing a watch.  Both of you are."

"I'm really sorry, I just...I didn't notice."

"And what had you so busy that you didn't notice the sun setting?"  Cam's
dad again.  Nathan winced.  This was like a tag-team match.

"I...nothing.  Just, you know...stuff."

Cam's mom stood up now, and crossed over to where they were standing.  She
knelt down in front of Cam and told him to look at her.

"Your eyes are red."  She turned sharply.  "Jay, his eyes are red.  I'm
going to ask you one last time."  She leaned in close to Cam.  "What have
you been doing?"

Cam's dad joined her by the door, where Cam and Nathan were on the verge of
shaking.

"Son."  He used that tone that parents seemed to all learn from some kind
of handbook or three-week mail-in course or something.  The one that said
about three paragraphs in one word.

"I was...I..."  He glanced back at Nathan, uncertainly.

Nathan could tell immediately what was wrong.  Cam had promised not to tell
his parents about them until he was ready.  Well, what did it matter now?

"He was crying."  Nathan stepped forward, standing shoulder-to-shoulder
with Cam now.

The parents seemed to deflate just a bit.  Nathan shook now, knowing what
was going to come next.

"Why were you crying, Cam?"  His mom asked.  Her voice had lost most of the
edge it had had earlier, replaced more with concern.

"Because Nathan's moving away tomorrow.  I told you that before, remember?"
Cam answered, the words catching in his throat just a bit.  Somehow saying
them gave them more life, more power.  "Because..."

Nathan nodded.

"Because he's moving and I won't be able to see him any more and I...love
him."  Cam's voice broke as he said it.  Nathan felt his eyes flood, not
needing to look to know that Cam's were doing the same.

The next few minutes blurred together, with a lot of soft words and heavy
sighs.  Nathan could barely take it in - all he caught was that Cam's
parents seemed desperately relieved about something and that they didn't
seem to have any immediate problem with him being in a relationship with
Cam.

"Since around nine."  Cam's mom was talking into the phone now.  "Yes,
would have called earlier, like I said...Okay.  Sure, sure, it's no
problem."

She slid the phone back into place on the receiver and walked back to where
Cam and Nathan were still standing with somewhat blank expressions.

"I just covered for you."  She said to Nathan.  "I never cover for anyone.
Feel incredibly lucky.  Story is, you came straight here, and tried to
call, but our phone wasn't working.  It turned out we needed a new battery.
You two were especially tired, and already asleep by the time we managed to
find and install one.  Now go to sleep, before you make an even bigger liar
out of me.  We'll talk in the morning.  And I do mean morning, as in,
before we go to work, so when I say 'go to sleep', I mean it."

Nathan hesitated for a few seconds before Cam finally grabbed him by the
wrist and pulled him upstairs.  This was like getting a pardon from the
Governor - you didn't hang around in the electric chair, you got the hell
out before he had a chance to change his mind.

As soon as they were behind Cam's closed door, they stripped down to their
shorts and slid into bed.  Nathan rolled in close, throwing an arm around
Cam.  He had been rightfully out of it for the past few minutes, but he
knew exactly where he was now.  He was in the one place where it was
physically impossible for him to feel down.  Cam slid closer to him and
kissed him softly on the lips.

To Nathan, the experience reminded him of going to the dentist.  He was
riding the peaceful, tingly combination of nitrous and novocaine, not quite
able to block out the painful stabs of the drill, but able to reduce it to
something almost negligible when he forced himself to focus elsewhere.

"Cam."  He slid one hand up Cam's torso, making him shudder.  "I don't care
how far apart we are tomorrow; we're together now.  Even if it takes me
years to get back here, I'm never going to forget this."

"Me neither."  Cam said.  "You know I'm going to end up replaying this in
my head over and over every night from now on, right?"

"In that case," Nathan whispered back, sliding his hand lower, "We'd better
make sure we do everything right."

--------------------------

Until next time.  EleCivil@gmail.com