Date: Mon, 15 Jul 2013 15:33:03 -0400
From: Matthew Bennet <m.bennet35@gmail.com>
Subject: Lies within Ourselves - Chapter 1

Lies within Ourselves

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Warning: This story involves gay scenes and some harsh language if you are
offended by this or it is illegal to read where you live please leave now.
Otherwise enjoy!

This is a work of pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person,
living or deceased.

If you want to write me, please do so at: m.bennet35@gmail.com

Also visit my website at
http://www.leebennet.com/collection/writing-short-stories/

********************


"Are you ok?" Amber asked looking at her best friend since the third grade.
Matt sat there looking at the ground with tears in his eyes and replied, "I
just felt like being alone."

"Matt! I know there is something wrong we have been best friends for a long
time now and I can tell that something is bothering you." Amber insisted.
"Amber... can we please just drop it I don't feel like talking about it
right now!" Matt said as he was starting to get annoyed.

"Fine but you know I am here when you are ready to talk." Amber said
placing her hand on Matt's shoulder.  Looking up at Amber his eyes got soft
and he replied "I know" with a smile on his face.

After school Matt felt drained from all the emotions that were running
through his mind. The last three weeks had been very confusing for him and
he didn't know if he could face telling anyone about them. He laid there on
his bed trying to just relax and forget everything that was bothering
him. After about 35 minutes his phone began to ring and he sighed as he
looked and saw who it was.

"Hey Sean, what's up?" Matt said as he answered the phone.

"What's wrong Matty? You sound really down today." Sean asked.

"Nothing it's just been a long week." Matt replied.

"Ahh... Ok. Yeah I know what you mean. So anyways I was calling to see if
you wanted to hang out tonight. My parents said you could come stay here
for a couple of days since it is winter break." Sean said.

Matt looked up at the ceiling and didn't know if it was a good idea. He had
been in such a bad mood lately that he didn't want to take anything out on
Sean.

"Umm... I would really have to see what my mom says. I don't know if we are
doing anything this week or not." Matt said with little emotion.

Sean was starting to feel very disappointed he was really hoping Matt would
be able to come over for break. "Well could you ask her and then call me
back and let me know?" Sean said with an almost pleading voice.

"Ok. Give me like 15 minutes to talk to my mom and I will call you back."
Matt answered back.

"Cool talk to you in a bit. Bye Matty." Sean said as he hung up.  Matt knew
just exactly what his mom would say. She would of course let him go over
for a few days because she absolutely loved Sean and his family. They use
to be all neighbors before Sean's parents bought a house on the other side
of town.

"Hey, Sweetie. How was your day I didn't see much of you after school. Is
everything ok?" Matt's mom said as she saw him entering the Kitchen.
"Yeah, mom, everything is ok." Matt Replied. "Sean wanted to know if I
could go over to his house for a few days."

"Of course! That would be fine. I actually was just about to tell you that
I will need to leave town to see your Aunt." His mom said with a smile.

"Is everything ok?" Matt asked with a concerned look on his face.

"Oh Yes dear! You know your Aunt and if I don't go and see her soon she
will begin to get angry." His mom said with a small laugh.

"Oh ok. Well I am glad everything is alright. I guess I am going to get
ready right now and leave in about an hour if that is ok?" Matt asked.

"That is fine. I will be leaving in the morning and will be back on
Wednesday morning." His mom said. "I will be taking my cell phone of course
and you know your Aunt's number in case you need to reach me."

"Well I guess then I will just stay until you get back then." Matt told her
and then went off to get ready for the next week. Matt got his phone out
and called back to tell Sean that he was allowed and that he would be there
in an hour.

Sean was really excited to hear this and went to tell his parents that he
Matt wanted to stay till Wednesday. Sean and Matt met in the 8th grade and
instantly became best buds. Lately Sean noticed that Matt was acting
strange toward him and wasn't sure why. He was afraid maybe he did
something that made Matt angry but could not thing of anything in
particular. This week Sean hoped that he would find out what was bothering
his friend.

"Matty!" Sean said excitedly as he ran up to his friend and gave him a big
hug.

"It's nice to see you too." Matt tried to say and he was being crushed by
Sean's hug.

"Sorry." Sean said with an embarrassed look on his face.

"It's ok, buddy." Matt said with a grin on his face.

"I'm glad your hear Matty. It's been awhile since we got the chance to hang
out" Sean said.

Matt looked away with sorrowful look. "Yeah. I know." Matt sighed.

"Matt? Are you ok?" Sean asked worried about his friend.

"Don't worry about me buddy. Like I said it's been a long week." Matt said
has he playfully gave Sean a shove.

In truth Matt was not okay at all. It had been a long time since Sean and
him got to hang out and there was a reason for that. Three weeks ago Sean
and him went to a party they were invited to by the School's star
quarterback, Evan Daniels. Sean started to drink a lot at the party and
Matt stayed sober so that he could drive both of them home safely. About
half way into the party Matt lost track of Sean and went searching for him
after a couple of minutes Matt found Sean half passed out in one of the
downstairs bathrooms. Matt laughed and began to pick Sean up and said,
"Sean what am I going to do with you. You always do this at parties."

Matt gently laid Sean in the backseat of his car and right before he got
out to get in the driver's seat Sean grabbed him and whispered "Matty, you
are my best friend. We have been through a lot. I wish I could just tell
you the truth."

"Sean? What are you talking about? You're drunk. Just lie down and rest. I
will take you home." Matt told him.

"Oh Matty, Matty why can't you see how much I care" Sean whispered back.

"I care about you too buddy." Matt relied back.

Sean let out a small giggle. "Oh Matty sometimes you are so clueless. I
love you Matty. I have been in love with you for the longest time but I
doubt you feel the same way." Sean said with a sadness in his eyes.

Matt was shocked and just sat there for the longest time thinking of what
to do. Of course he suspected that his friend was gay and that didn't
bother him at all but he had no idea that Sean was in love with him. Sean
had been his best friend for years and he had never really given any
thought about that. After Matt took Sean home he went for a long drive to
just think about everything.

Ever since that night he had been avoiding Sean. He still wanted to be
friends but he felt awkward now and wasn't sure what to do. Sean obviously
did not remember what he confessed and now here they were spending most of
winter break together.

Breaking the awkward silence between them Sean asked, "So... what do you
want to do?"

"Let's put my stuff in your room and then maybe we can go out for something
to eat I am starving. I didn't really feel like eating when it was dinner
time." Matt said as he picked up his bag and headed for the house.

"Where would you like to go Matty?" Sean asked with some enthusiasm because
he too was hungry.

"Hmm... Let's get something through the drive thru doesn't really matter
where at. Then we can go for a drive and find a nice field to park in and
eat then look at the stars." Matt suggested.

"That sounds perfect." Sean said with a big smile.

After they were done eating, Matt and Sean sat on the hood of the car and
Sean yawned and laid back on the car.

"What a beautiful night. This was such a great idea!" Sean said.

"That it is." Matt said with contentment. After a few minutes Matt also
laid back on the car. At that moment Sean put his head on Matts shoulders
and closed his eyes. First Matt was kind of nervous but then he thought why
should I act any different around Sean. He has been my best friend for
years and we have always done this. Matt put his arm around Sean and sighed
with the first moment of relaxation he had in the past three weeks.

"Sean I have really missed hanging out with you. I am sorry that I didn't
have much time lately I have just been distracted." Matt said with an
apologetic voice.

"Oh.. Matty you don't have to be sorry. I am just glad we get to hang out
now. This week is going to be so much fun." Sean said with happiness in his
voice.

Once they got back from their star gazing they headed to Sean's room to get
on the computer and play some games before bed. That night Matt could not
stop thinking about his friend. He cared so much for Sean and he didn't
want anything to ruin their friendship. He needed someone to talk to and
confide in so he got his phone out and texted Amber.

"Thanks for meeting me here so late Amber." Matt said.

"I told you I am always here for you! Now what is going on that is so
important that you make me sneak out at 2am?" Amber said teasing him.

"Something happened a few weeks ago. I have not been able to stop thinking
about." Matt started to explain. "Amber I need to tell you something that
you cannot tell anyone."

"Your secret is safe with me." Amber said with all honestly.

"Well that is part of it. It is not my secret. It's about Sean." Matt said
trying to think if this was a good idea or not.

"Oh. You mean that he is gay?" Amber replied.

"Did you tell you he was?" Matt asked with shock in his eyes.

"I've known for a long time Matt." Amber Said with surprise.

"Why didn't he tell me?" Matt said a little hurt that his friend didn't
trust him.

"Matt. First it wasn't that he didn't want to. Sean was just afraid of how
you would react. None of us really know how you feel about gay people."
Amber told him.

"Never really thought about it but I don't really care and that is not the
whole thing I wanted to tell you." Matt said. "At Evan's party a couple
weeks back, Sean got really drunk and well he kind of told me that he loved
me." Matt said nervously.  "Well... that certainly explains a lot." Amber
said with amusement.

"What does that mean?" Matt said with confusion.

"Matt you and Sean are practically joined at the hip. Sean always wants to
hang out with you and he is always so excited to see you. The question is
do you feel the same about Sean or is this going to ruin your friendship at
all?" Amber asked.

"I don't want this to ruin are friendship. I care a lot about Sean I really
do." Matt started to say.

"Matt are you gay?" Amber said questioning her friend. "I mean you have
never dated any girl and I never hear you talk about any girl that you
think is hot. It is ok if you are. We are friends and nothing will change
that." Amber said with sincere certainty.

Matt began to have tears in his eyes "Oh, Amber. I think I might be
gay. Ever since that night I couldn't think and I started to remember
feelings that I have had toward other guys but I can't think of what to do
with Sean. I don't want to ruin are friendship and what if we try to date
and it doesn't work out." Matt said with a lump in his throat.

Amber rushed to her friend and hugged him. "It's ok Matt. It will be all
ok. You will figure it out and Sean is a good friend he won't let stuff
ruin your friendship. Just be honest with him and yourself." She said with
compassion.

"I am so blessed to have such great friends in my life." Matt said.

Matt and Amber talked for an hour before Amber said she had to go before
her parents find out she left. Matt gave her a big hug and thanked her for
being there for him. Matt tried as quite as he could to get back into
Sean's room without waking him.

"Matty? Where did you. I woke up and you were gone. Is everything ok?" Sean
whispered half awake.

"Hey sleepy head there is nothing to worry about. Just go back to sleep and
we will talk tomorrow, ok?" Matt assured Sean who quickly fell back into a
deep sleep.

That morning Matt awoke to an empty room. Last night had been so emotional
and now he had to tell his best friend the truth. He wouldn't tell him what
he said at the party when he was drunk but he would come out to his friend
and hope that his friend would trust him enough to come out to him. All the
secrets were beginning to get annoying and hassle some. While lying there
for a few minutes Matt go the energy to get up and get dressed for the day.

As Matt entered the kitchen he could smell something wonderful being
cooked. "Hey buddy! That smells amazing what are you making." Matt asked
Sean who was standing by the stove.

"You know just the usual. Bacon, eggs and some cinnamon toast." Sean said
smiling while dancing around the kitchen making Matt laugh.

"Don't tease." Sean said with a humorous pout.

"You know I am just kidding. After breakfast do you want to take a drive I
have some stuff I want to talk to you about." Matt said turning toward Sean
with a serious tone.

"Now I am kind of scared. Is it bad?" Sean asked with a nervous look.

"No not at all. I just need to tell you some things." Matt said with
calmness and with softness in his eyes making Sean relax a bit.

They headed out as soon as they were done eating and started toward the
park. The car ride was somewhat quiet as Matt tried to start the
conversation.

"Sean we have been friends for a long time and you are my best bud." Matt
started to say with an anxious voice.

After a short pause Matt continued as Sean had a confused and worried look
on his face. "The last few weeks have been so emotional for me and I have
had some much going on in my head. You mean a lot to me and I want to be
completely honest with you."

Sean pulled over to the side of the road and focused all his attention to
Matt. "You know you can tell me anything. Our friendship is unbreakable."
Sean told Matt with kindness in his eyes.

"Last night I went out and called Amber and she came and we talked about
some things. I finally admitted the truth to not only her but myself." Matt
said turning toward Sean. "Here goes. I'm gay!"

Sean sat there for a few minutes trying to think. This brought a hope to
him that he never had thought would be possible. He had had a crush on Matt
for years but never said anything because he didn't want to ruin the
friendship plus he did not think that Matt was gay.

"Matty, thank you so much for sharing this with me, I guess I have
something to tell you too. I was just afraid to tell you because I didn't
want to lose you as a friend. You mean the world to me. I am gay too and I
have known for a long time." Sean finally admitted to Matt.

Matt pulled Sean in for a hug and they just stayed that way for the longest
time. Forgetting everything in the world until Sean's phone started to
buzz.