Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2012 04:12:10 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jake Austin <crazyturtule90@yahoo.com>
Subject: Life As I Knew It chapter 5

Disclaimers: Yeah, these aren't fun, but I guess they're necessary. If
you're under 18, or if gay love offends you, or if it's illegal to be
reading this where you are, you probably shouldn't be reading this. I
guess. Or you can, you know, you don't have to listen to me, lol.

This is fiction, so yeah, people and the events that occur are all fake. I
may use the names of real places, but other than that, this story is
completely made up.

And also, I'd appreciate it if you DIDN'T take this story and post it
somewhere else without my permission. That's called stealing, and it's not
cool.

Please make sure to donate to Nifty also! They're awesome for letting us
share these stories with each other, let's support them!

----------------------------------------------------

Note to readers: ... Okay, yeah, yeah. I'm terrible at updating. Like,
usually people SAY they're terrible at updating here (and they're not
really), but I'm just like... the worst, I know. Forgive me? ):

But this chapter was, for some reason, just especially hard to write. In
fact, I think there's more going on in this one than any other chapter so
far... but you guys can be the judge, lol.

Anyways, comments or questions are welcomed at crazyturtule90@yahoo.com I
love hearing from you guys!

----------------------------------------------------

Life As I Knew It

Chapter 5: Paranoia
----------------------------------------------------

"I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no
more hurt, only more love." -Mother Teresa

----------------------------------------------------

	Okay, so there were two major thoughts dominating my mind when I
first awoke from my very Aaron-filled slumber. First: "Wow, yesterday was
kind of the best day of my life." Second: "Um, why exactly am I drenched in
water?" But to my horror, when I glanced underneath my covers, it wasn't
water.... Not even close, actually.

	I was thrown into an immediate panic. Why was it back? I made sure
not to drink anything before I went to bed last night. Besides, this hasn't
happened since I was eight! I mean, aren't kids supposed to outgrow this
type of thing? What the heck is going on? Why was this happening again?

	"Okay, Riley," I told myself, "Calm it down a notch. This is
probably just a one-time thing. Just a one-time thing! Don't let it get to
you. Now let's move, go go go." I forced myself to peel my body away from
the soaked bedsheets and pajamas. I bundled them up in my arms to take down
to the laundry. I glanced at the clock to see if I could sneak it into the
washing machine before anyone woke up. I was mortified to see that it was
seven o'clock sharp, just around the time that--

	"Lee, time to get your ass up!" Carter pounded on my door quickly
and then opened it.

	I had no time to do anything but stare at him in shock. I was
caught red (or in this case, yellow) handed and there was no way to explain
myself. "H-hey Carter..." I managed to get out, my face burning with
embarrassment. I could already feel the tears threatening to fall from my
eyes; I was that humiliated.

	"Lee, what... what the hell happened?" He immediately rushed up to
inspect my stained sheets. "Did you wet the bed again?" he asked quietly,
looking at me with such a pitiful expression that it made me want to crawl
into a hole and die.

	I softly nodded my head and, just like that, the tears started to
spill. "I'm sorry, Carter. I don't know what happened..." I started to cry
a little harder, because let's face it, wetting the bed at age thirteen was
simply pathetic and downright embarrassing. And to have my big brother
witness this once again made it even worse. "Please don't tell Mom and
Dad..." I whispered.

	He immediately pulled me into a hug, placing his head over
mine. "Hey, hey," Carter said soothingly, "It's alright, it's alright. You
can't help it! And it's nothing to be ashamed of, okay?"

	I shook my head against his chest. "Yes, it is... I'm already a
teenager and here I am wetting the bed like... like some ridiculous baby
who needs freaking potty-training!" By this time, I was more angry at
myself than embarrassed.

	Carter continued to gently rub my back in slow circles. "Actually,
you're still only thirteen--"

	"That still counts as a teenager!" I interrupted

	He chuckled, "Right. But my point is that you're still young and
you'll definitely grow out of this soon. So just don't let it get to you,
alright? If you want, you can come sleep in my bed like when you were
little. Remember? That always put a stop to your rampant bladder."

	"My bladder IS pretty rampant," I giggled. "But... you'd really let
me sleep with you?"

	He grinned, "Of course, dude. That's what brothers are for!
Just.... please, PLEASE try not to piss on me."

	"Like that's ever happened before!" I yelled indignantly.

	"Yeah, well... you never know," he laughed, and then playfully
elbowed me. "Now, c'mon and get dressed.  I'll go sneak these in the wash
while Mom's busy cooking breakfast."

	"Alright," I smiled, "Thanks, Carter..." He ruffled my hair and
then left with my wet sheets.

	I realized at that moment that I was really lucky to have a big
brother like Carter. Any other would probably have teased me mercilessly
for my... problem, but as always, he was just the best brother a guy could
ask for. I really should go more easy on him when it came to Aaron. I mean,
he deserves that much. Besides, he was probably just concerned about
me. Maybe he thought Aaron was too rough for me. I found myself smiling at
the thought; I guess having a slightly over-protective brother had its
perks.

	I stripped off my soiled clothes and stuffed them deep in my
hamper; I'd make sure to get to them later. I jumped into my shower and
tried to cleanse myself of the smell of urine, paying special attention to
my groin area. I'm not gonna lie; I started to get hard down there when my
mind started to drift off to Aaron. Sadly, I had to quickly shake those
thoughts from my head since I was kind of in a hurry.

	Note to self: wake up earlier.

	I got out of the shower and went to my room. As I was drying my
hair, I looked through my clothes for what to wear. I pulled out each and
every article of clothing I had, until my room was completely covered with
shirts and jeans and shorts of every kind. No matter what I tried on, it
just didn't seem good enough for Aaron. I knew it took me a long time to
get ready in the mornings, but I just couldn't choose.

	I heard Mom yelling up the stairs that I was going to be late, so I
decided to just shut my eyes and grab the first things I lay my hands on. I
opened my eyes and found that it actually wasn't a bad choice: black jeans
that were just a little too tight and a white t-shirt with musical notes on
it. Finally putting that issue to rest, I grabbed my bag and ran down the
stairs.

	It was too late for breakfast, so I grabbed some toast, kissed Mom
on the cheek, said goodbye to an unresponsive Dad, and darted through the
door. Carter was already in his truck, tapping on the steering wheel rather
impatiently. I jumped in the truck and wasn't even done closing the door
when he peeled off of the driveway.

	"Jesus, Lee, what the hell took you so long?" Carter was fuming,
rotating between looking at the radio clock and giving me pissed off looks.

	"I'm sorry! I couldn't figure out what to wear!" I said
defensively. I felt bad about making him mad after what he did for me this
morning, but it wasn't my fault that my clothes decided to pick on me
today!

	"You wasted all that time and picked that shirt?" he scoffed, "You
look like a fag." Immediately after he said that, all I could feel was this
awful pain in my chest. I can't remember him saying anything like that to
me. I mean, yeah, I've heard him say that around his football buddies, but
never to me. And I know he didn't mean it the way I was taking it, but just
that word was enough to make me want to throw up. I felt uneasy around
Carter at the moment, something I never was when I was with him.

	I didn't even know how to respond to that, so I didn't. I looked
out the window, willing the stupid truck to move faster, while also willing
my eyes to not let out the torrent of tears threatening to fall. I didn't
realize I was clenching my fists so tight until I felt the pain of my nails
digging into my palms. We were almost at the school, and I think Carter
noticed I was mad at him because he decided to finally break the tension in
the car.

	He drummed his fingertips against the steering wheel, sighed, and
said, "Look, Lee, I'm sorry for yelling at you awhile ago, okay?" I didn't
respond, which he took as a sign to continue. "I just don't like to be late
for morning warm-ups, especially since I'm quarterback of the team, now. I
mean, I gotta keep up appearances, you know what I'm saying?" I didn't say
anything, hoping that maybe he'd also apologize for what he called me
earlier; but when he didn't continue, the anger came back in full force.

	We finally pulled up in front of the school building. "So... we're
cool, right?" he asked. To answer his question, I jumped out of the truck
and slammed the door shut as hard as I could. I ignored him calling out my
name and continued to stomp up the stairway, past the staring students, and
into the hallway. Before I knew it, I was digging through my locker
aggressively with an amused Isabella beside me.

	"Yikes. What's got you all fired up this morning?" she asked
playfully.

	I turned and glared at her. "Not in the mood, Bella." She
immediately winced.

	"Sorry, sorry. What's the problem?"

	"It's Carter. He was a total jerk this morning when he dropped me
off. During the ride, he called me a f--" I shut my mouth so fast I
accidentally bit my lip in the process, surely drawing blood. I couldn't
believe I almost gave myself away like that.

	Isabella gave me a look... THAT look. That very fear-inducing
look. "Called you a...?" She waited for me to continue. But something about
the way those blue eyes shone with just a hint of amusement turned my blood
cold. It was like she knew just what made me so mad. Like she knew what my
deepest, darkest secret was, and was just waiting for me to give myself
away.

	She was still looking at me with that smirk of hers. "Nothing. I-it
was nothing." I nervously pushed my glasses up with my forefinger. "Um,
anyways, did you get those permission forms signed for Mr. Samson's class?"

	She squinted her eyes at me suspiciously, obviously knowing that
I'd changed the subject, but thankfully she went along with
it. "Yeup. Samson is totally cool, I already know I'm gonna love his
class."

	"Ditto!" I said, a painfully fake grin plastered on my
face. Isabella returned a grin right back. This encounter was really
starting to make me nervous. I mean, it was obvious she knew something. So
should I just tell her about me? About Aaron? But what if she didn't know?
And what if I gave myself away and made the biggest mistake of my life? I
was so overcome with worry, I hadn't noticed that I was visibly shaking.

	Isabella gave me a worried look. "Hey, are you alright?" When I
didn't respond, she stepped towards me and placed both hands on my
shoulders. "Riley! Dude, quit your worrying already!"

	I felt myself involuntarily stop at those words. "Worrying? What do
you think... I'm worrying about?" I asked hesitantly. I bit my lip,
probably drawing out even more blood.

	She sighed and pulled me into a hug. I was surprised at the gesture
but immediately returned the embrace. "You know what I'm talking about,"
she said. "I love you. You're like a brother to me. You're the only real
friend I've ever had... Well, aside from Ethan, but he's kind of being an
asshole right now. Anyway, do you really think I would judge you just for
who you love?"

	I couldn't help myself, but her affirming my suspicions just added
to the terror I was already feeling. It was mortifying, bombarding myself
with all these questions and thoughts that were popping up in my
head. First and foremost being: HOW?!

	"W-.. when.. But-- How?" I stuttered.

	She laughed loudly; loud enough to shock me back into the reality
that we were at school, and that someone could've easily overheard
everything we'd said. But when I looked around, I was surprised to see the
hallways totally deserted. She cupped my cheek with her hand, "They've been
long gone. I guess you were still kind of zonked out and didn't hear the
final bell rang. As to your question..." She let out a dramatic sigh. "I've
known since almost the beginning of sixth grade."

	I stared at her in shock, my mouth hanging cartoonishly
open. "SINCE THE SIXTH GRADE?" I yelled. I didn't care that we were at
school. I needed some answers. "How the hell have you known since the sixth
grade?"

	Her eyes were open wide, clearly shocked at my outburst. "Um,
wow. Uh... hmm.... How did I know...." She playfully looked at the ceiling
in thought, but quickly became serious when she noticed the glare I was
giving her. "Oh, right! I remember. We were at recess, and that
kid... Brandon? Or was it Jordan... Whatever, I think he moved already, so
it doesn't matter. Anyway; he was humping the tether-ball pole, and one of
his friends came up behind him and started humping BrandonJordanWhatever. I
remember laughing because they were SO secretly enjoying; and when I turned
to tell you about it, you were already staring. You had the most adorable
blush on your face, and I'm not gonna lie, I saw you uh... adjust some
things down there. I never told you about it 'cause I thought you'd come
and tell me when you were ready. But you've just been so uneasy lately, I
just felt that you needed to know that I have absolutely no problem with
it."

	The only thing I could remember feeling was a huge rush of heat
rising up to my cheeks; because I did remember that day. And the fact that
I wasn't as subtle about... things... as I thought was downright
humiliating. I looked up and it was obvious Isabella was waiting for a
response.

	"Um..." I said, my voice cracking. I cleared my throat. "Um,
that's... cool? Thanks for... you know... not making a big deal out of it."

	She chuckled and nodded her head. "See, that wasn't so bad, right?
Now, imagine how good it would feel if you came out to the whole sch--"

	"NO!" I yelled. I grabbed onto the sides of her arms and stared
straight up at her. "No! No! No one else can know, alright? NO ONE. Do you
understand?"

	She gave me a perplexed look, obviously not understanding the
panicked message I was trying to send across. "What.... I mean, what's the
problem? Central Valley is obviously accepting. I mean, their GSA is HUGE!
Sure, there's gonna be some assholes here and there, but there's always
gonna--"

	I cut her off, shaking my head furiously. "You don't get it... If
any other person found out, it'd get to Carter and Carter would tell my
parents and... my dad. You don't know how badly he'd react. He'd be
furious. He'd DISOWN me! He's crazy religious, and—and I don't know what
he'd do. So PLEASE don't say anything! Only you and Aaron know, and--"

	"Whoa, whoa, hold the fuck up," she interrupted, startling me with
her bluntness. "How does Aaron know? You told him before ME!? I
thought... I thought I was your best friend? How could you tell someone
else before me? Huh?!"

	I looked up at her in confusion, wondering why she was so angry
that Aaron was the first to know. I mean, he was my boyfriend for crying
out loud. Why would she be mad about.... Whoops.

	"Oh, crap," I muttered. " I never told you!"

	"Tell me what?" she demanded, still very much furious.

	"Me and Aaron are--"

	"What are you kids doing out of class?" A man called to us from
across the hall. I saw the gleam of sunlight bouncing off of his bald head
before I actually saw the man himself. I gulped; the words 'Vice-Principal'
were etched onto his name tag.

	I looked at Isabella in a panic but she was still looking at me
intensely. "We're not done talking about this..." she muttered. Immediately
after, she turned around and wailed, "Oh, Mr. Walters! I'm so glad you're
here! I was on my way to the bathroom when I found this kid all bloodied
up! Would you show us to the nurse's office?" I'd almost forgotten about my
busted lip if she hadn't brought it up.

	I looked up at the assistant principal and my mind instantly
flashed back to what Carter had once told me before. With my newly-acquired
knowledge, I dramatically took a step forward while leaning on the lockers
for effect. I noticed Mr. Walters take a step backwards, reaffirming my
hunch. I took two more steps closer to him and coughed, making sure to
splatter some blood in his direction. "Mr. Walters, I think I really need
to go to the nurse," I groaned.

	"Oh my god," he muttered, clutching his mouth in horror. "You,
girl, take him to the nurse! He's getting b-blood everywhere! I'll go get a
janitor." And with that, he (more or less) took off running in the opposite
direction. Isabella glanced at me and I shot her a wicked grin.

	"What the hell just happened?" she asked, staring at me with a
mixture of shock and wonder.

	I giggled. "Carter told me once that the vice principal here has a
huge phobia of blood. Never knew that information would come in handy."

	She laughed, shaking her head. "You're an evil genius. I love
it. Well, you'd better get to class before Walters gets back." I nodded and
turned to leave before she grabbed my arm. "Don't think I'm still not
pissed about you telling Aaron before me, though."

	I glanced back at her, and I could really tell how bad this was
affecting her. She looked really distraught that I'd trust someone else
with my secrets before her after years of us being friends. I was
contemplative whether now would be the best time to tell her, but I guess I
didn't have much of a choice. I didn't want her to worry and have her anger
fester throughout the day.

	"Okay, okay, I'll tell you." I looked around to make sure Walters,
or any other person for that matter, was around before leaning in and
whispering, "He's... my boyfriend."

	"What?" she hissed, "B-boyfriend? H-how..."

	I looked past her, and sure enough, the ray of light reflecting off
of Mr. Walter's head signaled his return. "Look, I'll catch you up on this
later, but we've gotta go, Walters is coming."

	Isabella reluctantly nodded and said a quick, "You'd better,"
before turning down the hallway to her class.

	"Don't you need a pass?" I called out. She waved me off, making me
chuckle; she's always been a very convincing person, I'm sure she'd find a
way to talk her way out of it. As for me, I decided to play it safe and
just go and see the nurse. I wouldn't be able to lie my way out if my life
depended on it.

	When I came to see the nurse, she was naturally horrified by my
bloody features. She probably thought a group of thugs beat me up or
something, but after cleaning me up a bit she saw that it was only my
busted lip. She gave me some ice to put on it; and after a few minutes of
that, I was good to go. She signed me a pass, warning me to watch where I
was going next time (I told her I ran into a wall.... I don't do well under
questioning, alright?), and I was on my way to Ms. Higgins's class.

	I walked into class and naturally all of the students turned to
look up at the door in unison. I awkwardly glanced around the room and
spotted Aaron sitting in the back of the room. Seeing him immediately
calmed down my nerves. I gave Ms. Higgins my pass, which she more or less
snatched out of my hand, and told me to get to my seat and join the class
in reading out of the literature textbook.  I tried ignoring the 'ooh, what
happened to that kid' looks I was getting from some of the students as I
made my way to the seat next to Aaron.

	"Hey, sexy," he whispered, grinning the very-Aaron grin that I
don't think I could ever get tired looking at.

	"Hi," I giggled, while also nervously looking around to see if
anyone was listening. Thankfully mostly everyone was busy reading, aside
from the few students who were already fast asleep.

	"What happened to your lip?" he asked, a slightly worried
expression on his face.

	He brought his hand up to touch my lip, making me flinch and
immediately pull back. "D-don't touch me like that at school!" I said in a
hushed tone. I quickly glanced at the students around us and was relieved
when the uprising I was expecting didn't arrive.

	"What's the big deal? We're boyf—"

	"Blaaaaaaah!"

	He gave me an odd look. "Ry, dude, what's the problem?"

	I gave him a look of my own. "I think it's kind of obvious what my
problem is! You can't just... you know, be all touchy like that! What will
other people say?"

	He shrugged. "Who gives a shit what they say? It's none of their
business. And if anyone messes with you, you'd better believe I'll beat
them up."

	I groaned. "That's not what I'm talking about.... No one can know
because I don't WANT them to know!"

	"Why wouldn't you want them to know?" he asked, hurt written all
over his face. "What-- am I supposed to be your secret boyfriend or
something?"

	"No, of course not! I.... Look, if my family were to find
out.... If my DAD were to find out, I don't know what would happen. So
excuse me for being a bit hesitant to flaunt my homosexuality for the world
to see, alright? Not all of us have it as easy as you." That last part came
out a bit harsher than I intended, but I really needed to get that message
across to Aaron no matter what. Under no circumstances whatsoever could my
family find out.

	I genuinely thought that he would just accept what I was saying
with his usual dismissive grin and playful shrug. I could not have been
more wrong. To my surprise, he reacted completely opposite of what I was
expecting.

	He scoffed and then proceeded to roll his eyes. "Do you honestly
think you're the only one who's had to deal with that problem?"

	"What are you talking about?"

	"This whole family charade," he said a little angrily, yet still
managed to keep his voice to a whisper. "You think I don't know what that
feels like? I came out to my parents when I was twelve. Twelve. And you
want to know why?" I nodded; my attention completely on him, clinging to
his every word. "Because I couldn't stop talking about this cute boy I saw
on my first day of middle school." I blushed at his words, but he just
continued. "Granted, I was still a little loopy from that fight with your
brother, but they heard me and ... that's not exactly something I could
just take back. So, they sent me to the first Christian private school they
could find. And those three years have been hell. But I did my best to not
only change their minds, but to accept myself as well. I never thought it
would happen, but it did. My parents actually accepted me and the silly
fairytale boy of my dreams. But the most important part of all this is that
I finally got to really meet you and fall even deeper in love with
you... So excuse me for wanting to touch you, or God forbid, tell you how I
feel!"

	I just stared at him in what was probably a look of absolute
astonishment. I honestly didn't know what to say and the long silence that
followed vouched for that. But my mind, on the other hand, was going
through a rapid-fire process of sorting out the thoughts and feelings
running through my head. Initially, I was surprised at how passionate and
animated he was when relaying that part of his life to me. After that shock
wore off and I actually began to process what he just said, the only thing
I could think of was just how deeply his feelings for me were rooted.

	All this time, I thought that I was the one foolishly in love,
letting my heart lead me in any direction it chose to go; while it was
actually my feelings that paled in comparison to his. Sure, I'd thought
about Aaron every once in a while and wondered where he was and how he was
doing, but I sure as heck didn't have my whole LIFE turned around because
of it. I didn't have every piece of reality I was so comfortable with
shatter into a million pieces all because of a crush on some boy. I didn't
uproot my whole life just on the off chance that maybe some day me and some
school crush of mine could finally be together some day. I had no IDEA what
he'd been through, and here I was judging him because I felt I was the only
one even remotely capable of understanding the pain and confusion I was
dealing with. But in fact, it was me who didn't understand anything. I
truly, truly didn't understand as much about Aaron as I thought I did. And
in that moment of sudden realization, I was sure of three things: 1. I was
being childishly selfish, 2. I didn't deserve him, and (most importantly)
3. I loved him.

	In the time I took to sort out my thoughts, the bell decided to cut
my thinking time short. Before I'd realized that I had yet to respond to
Aaron's heart-warming/wrenching confession, he was already getting up to
leave. He rolled his eyes with a sigh, grabbed his stuff, and marched out
the classroom before I had a chance to stop him.

	"Shit..." I muttered to myself, while I tried to hurriedly stuff my
things into my bag.

	"Mr. Monroe, I do believe that type of language requires your
presence at a toilet and not in my classroom."

	I'd completely forgotten about Ms. Higgins, who was sitting at her
desk giving me a not-so-pleasant glare. I was horribly embarrassed that
she'd heard what I said.

	"Terribly sorry, Ms. Higgins. I'll be... uh, on my way now," I said
nervously, trying to discreetly power walk to the hallway. She didn't
reply, and instead looked at me disdainfully the whole time I made my way
out the door. I guess my good first impression on her from yesterday was
pretty much ruined.

	I didn't dwell too much on that, though. I was too worried that
Aaron was mad at me for inadvertently ignoring him. And worse, I was
worried about what I could possibly say to something as personal as his
confession was. Maybe, "thanks...?" God, no, no, no. He'd hate me if I said
something as inconsiderate as that. Although, he probably believed I
already was inconsiderate based on how I treated him awhile ago.

	After finally making it to my locker, I opened my locker (in a very
impressive amount of time, if I may add) and switched out for what I'd need
in geometry. I was about to slam the locker shut and run off to class, when
a hand held the locker door in place.

	I could instantly tell from the electric-blue painted nails that it
was Isabella. "Finally," she said, "Now you can finally tell me all
about--"

	I glanced toward Mrs. Woodrift's door at the far end of the hall
and managed to spot Aaron sulking into the classroom.

	I gave Isabella a frantic
look. "SorryIsabellait'sgonnahavetowaitthanksforunderstandingbye!" I said,
and practically ran towards the geometry room.

	When I arrived, my breath ragged from the run, I saw Mrs. Woodrift
give me an odd look at first, but then smiled and shrugged. I glanced
towards the back of the class, and thankfully, Aaron was still sitting in
his seat. That relief was short-lived though, because the look on his face
was just heart-breaking.

	His arms were folded on top of each other with his head placed
lazily on top of them. He was staring at his desk with sad eyes and his
mouth in a mix between a frown and a pout. In any other circumstance, I
would've found the sight downright adorable, but this was obviously not the
time for that. I quickly strode towards the desk next to his, sat down, and
faced him. I waited for him to turn to look at me, but there was no
response. If anything, he looked annoyed at my sudden presence.

	I didn't know where or how to start, but I figured I had to at
least begin somewhere. "Look, Aaron," I said, "I'm really, really sorry
about how I acted before...." Actually, that was a pretty good start to the
conversation. I mentally gave myself a pat on the back.

	I was expecting him to smile at the apology and we would instantly
go back to normal, so I was more than a little surprised when I got was a
roll of the eyes from him. "Whatever," he muttered.

	"Whatever?" I said, astonished. That was probably the rudest he'd
ever been to me (excluding our previous sixth grade history where he bashed
my brother's head in). But I guess I did deserve that, so I persevered
further.

	I gave him a sad smile. "I know you're mad, but please just hear me
out. You really got the wrong idea. You see, I didn't mean to--"

	"Really," he said firmly, "It's not a big deal. Let's just forget
it."

	"Well, judging by your completely childish attitude right now, it
obviously IS a big deal, so I'd appreciate it if you just hear me out." I
said a little irritatedly.

	What I said really must have made him mad, because the next thing I
knew, those beautiful milky-brown eyes of his were giving me the hardest
glare I'd ever seen from him. "Just forget it!"

	I sighed, "Please, you don't understand., I--"

	"I told you--"

	"Just hear me out--"

	"I said I don't want to hear it!"

	"Just please listen--"

	"No, you listen--"

	"I want to clear things up--"

	"There's nothing to clear--"

	"Obviously, there is--"

	"No, there isn't!"

	"Would you quit interrupting me?"

	"I told you to just leave it alone!" he shouted.

	And with that said, I just couldn't take it anymore.

	"DAMN IT, AARON SUMMERS. YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO ME, AND YOU'RE
GONNA LISTEN GOOD. I'M TRYING TO SAY THAT I'M SORRY FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE,
AND THAT I FEEL TERRIBLE FOR WHAT YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH BECAUSE OF ME, AND
I KNOW NOW THAT YOU REALLY DO LOVE ME TOO, AND THAT I WAS SELFISH, AND THAT
I JUST FREAKING LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, ALRIGHT?" I was breathing
incredibly hard by the time I was done screaming, and it was only till I
saw Aaron's slack-jawed, wide-eyed, terrified expression that I realized
what I had just done.

	"Wow...." Aaron whispered, his face filled with awe-struck wonder.

	"Oh, my god," I muttered. I covered my mouth with both my hands and
shut my eyes. I tried to convince myself that that did not just happen, but
the painful silence that ensued only confirmed my fears. "I'm so sorry, I
didn't mean to--" And suddenly there was hysterical laughter coming from
Mrs. Woodrift at the front of the classroom.

	I turned around and was horrified that she had seen our whole
encounter without me realizing that she was even there. Her back was
against the classroom door, and she was trying to catch her breath but
always ended up in fits of laughter right after. I looked at Aaron and he
looked at me, and we both just turned and waited until Mrs. Woodrift would
stop laughing.

	After what seemed like hours, but was probably just a minute or so,
she finally caught her breath and gave us a peculiar smile. "Sorry about
that," and she laughed some more, but managed to regain her composure
quickly. "Truly, I'm sorry, but that was just... hysterical. Actually,
lover's spats almost always are." I blushed when she used the term 'lover,'
but kept my silence.

	"So, you don't mind us being... you know, a couple?" Aaron asked.

	She scoffed, "Why would I mind? This school is very open-minded,
and we enforce a no bullying policy among our students here. If you guys
are worried about facing trouble with the other kids, I'm positive that
nothing will come of it."

	Aaron turned and raised his eyebrows at me in an 'I told you so'
fashion. I stuck my tongue out at him, but I still couldn't help but feel
relieved that he didn't seem to be mad at me anymore.

	"But if you're not ready for that yet, don't worry," she continued,
"I locked the door so that you guys could have your privacy." It was then
that I realized that she did in fact lock the door, as there were no other
kids in the class.

	I felt embarrassed that we, mainly I, couldn't control our personal
conflicts at a school setting. "I'm really sorry about cutting into class
time, Mrs. Woodrift. And thank you, for you know, letting us talk it out in
private. We're still new to this whole relationship thing, so... yeah..." I
said, nervously looking down at my shoes. I felt Aaron's hand wrap around
mind. I looked up and was met with a reassuring smile. I couldn't help but
blush at the new-found heat around my hand, knowing that it was Aaron's.

	"You guys are just precious," she chuckled, before then snapping up
in sudden realization. "Oops. The kids are still out there, aren't they?"
We both nodded our heads. "Alright, well, I'll get class started. You two
just... act like you weren't just confessing your love to each other." She
laughed as we both rolled our eyes. But we did as she said, and tried our
best to look inconspicuous.

	When the others walked in, the silence of the classroom was
immediately replaced with the chatter of excited kids still getting used to
the new school year. Thankfully, they didn't seem too bothered with having
to wait in the hall, probably using that time to socialize. None of them
even seemed to notice that me and Aaron were the only ones in class, for
which I was very relieved. I was also thankful that our mini-fight seemed
to be over now, as I saw Aaron give me his usual grins throughout the
class.

	When the bell rang I followed him out the door, still a little
unsure whether things were alright between us. We both ended up in front of
the row of lockers while students rushed past us to their next classes. I
looked up at him, trying to see if he was still angry or not, but he looked
normal, even happy. Still, I wanted to make sure.

	"Hey, look, I'm sorry about awhile ago. I hope you're not too mad"

	He quickly cut in, "Of course not! I just feel really stupid for
jumping to conclusions like that awhile ago. So if anyone should be sorry,
it's me."

	"No, you shouldn't be! It's-- You know what... let's just forget
about the whole thing, huh?"

	"Deal," he laughed, "but I don't think I could ever forget you
blowing up like that." He then leaned in to whisper in my ear. "It was like
the perfect combination of sexy and terrifying."

	I felt myself shiver at his words, but quickly regained my
composure enough to softly shove him away. "Whatever," I grumbled.

	He giggled and then headed off to his next class. "I'll see you at
lunch!" He waved and I waved back.

	I was elated all the way up till my Japanese class, where things
took a turn for the not-so-great. As I walked through the door to class, I
accidentally bumped into someone who was picking up something from the
floor (In my defense, I was still a little ditsy from my encounter with
Aaron).

	"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!" I said, after basically knocking the
poor kid down.

	"Jesus, you walk much?" the boy muttered while getting up and
rubbing the hip he landed on.

	I was a little peeved at his rudeness, but I couldn't think of
anything else soon after that. When he stood up to face me, I was surprised
to see none other than Mason Lancaster staring me in the face with an
annoyed expression.

	"Well?" Mason continued, "Are you gonna stare at me all day, or do
I get an apology?"

	I snapped out of my daze. "Uh, yeah, sorry about that," I said.

	He just rolled his eyes and took his seat at the far end of the
class, looking out the window.

	As I sat down in my own seat, I was still trying to process my
encounter with him. We'd never spoken up till this point, and he probably
never knew I existed until now, but I sure knew about him. Heck, I think
everyone in my grade knew about The Mason Lancaster. His blond hair, blue
eyes, and good looks earned him an immediate following as far back as the
sixth grade.

	Actually, now that I think about it, Ethan kind of made it a point
to try and befriend him recently, too. They did sit at the same lunch table
yesterday, so I wonder if he ever succeeded.

	I laughed to myself: I haven't spoken to Ethan for even a day and
already I found myself missing him and the goofiness of our whole
relationship. Still, the way he just blew me and Isabella off yesterday
really hurt. Honestly, if he'd just apologize and laugh it off, I'm pretty
sure I'd be able to move past it. But until then, I guess we aren't on
speaking terms.

	"Sumimasen!" I heard someone call out. "Excuse me!"

	I snapped out of my thoughts. "Huh? Yeah?" I looked up to see my
Japanese teacher giving me a stern look.

	"You there, please pay attention. We are learning new kanji and you
have not been copying it down like I asked."

	"Gomenasai, Ms. Morihara," I apologized, in complete and utter
embarrassment at getting caught daydreaming. I was looking down at my desk
as I said this, but out of the corner of my eye, I could clearly see Mason
smirking at me from across the room.

	For someone who was supposed to be "every girl's dreamboat" (as
Isabella jokingly referred him as), I didn't see how anyone could stand
being around him. I was glad I didn't know anyone who hung around people
like him.... Well, I guess maybe not Ethan anymore... but other than him,
no one else I knew of associated with that jerk.

	After that incident, I made it a point to pay attention for the
rest of class to avoid any further... embarrassment. So you can imagine how
thankful I was when the bell finally rang and we were dismissed for
lunch. I packed up my things and made my way to the back of the group of
students rushing to get out the door. When it was my turn to walk past, I
almost ran into another kid who tried to walk through the door at the same
time. I turned to apologize, until I saw it was...

	"Well, hello again, Mr. Clumsy," he said, a Cheshire cat's grin on
his face.

	"That's not my name," I simply said, while giving him a glare of my
own.

	He shrugged. "Really? Could've fooled me."

	"Yes, really," I said, "It's Riley. Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have to get to lunch." I tried to walk past him until he suddenly placed a
hand on my shoulder, stopping me in place.

	"Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Your name's Riley? Riley Monroe?"

	I gave him a cautious look. "Um, yeah...? Why?"

	His face lit up and his smirk evolved into a grin. "Well, isn't
this an interesting turn of events."

	He was really starting to confuse me now. "Okay, well, you're
getting weirder by the second, so... I'm just gonna go now." I gave him a
hesitant wave and finally walked past the door.

	"Alright!" he called out, "see you in a bit!"

	I almost turned around to ask him what he meant, but, well, I
really could care less because I still had to face the task of dealing with
a furious Isabella and also protect Aaron from the barrage of questions
that she'll surely be throwing his way.

	Before I realized it, my feet had taken me to the front doors of
the cafeteria where pure chaos was pretty much just looming around waiting
to be dealt with. I exhaled, took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and
forced myself through those doors. With every step towards our lunch table,
I braced myself for the wild Isabella to pounce.

	When I finally made my way to the table, I was shocked to find both
Isabella and Aaron sitting across one another. But that wasn't the shocking
part. It actually looked like... like they were having a normal
conversation. Aaron looked like he was entranced with his own story, while
Isabella was nodding and smiling as he spoke. I didn't know how I was
supposed to appear without interrupting this preciously rare moment, so I
did my best to discreetly take my seat beside Aaron.

	Yeah... that didn't work out so well.

	"Well, look who decided to finally drop by!" Isabella greeted,
looking especially happy to see me.

	"Hey, you," Aaron whispered, a soft smile on his face.

	"Um, hi," I said, looking back and forth between them. "What's up?"

	"Well," Isabella started, "let me be the first to say:
congratulations. I'm seriously happy for you, really. And your
booooyfrieeeend (she drawled the word out unnecessarily long) over here got
you out of explaining yourself, so you're good to go."

	I gave Aaron a startled look. "You told her about us?" I whispered.

	His expression turned slightly panicked. "Um, yeah, I did, but I
totally left out all of the personal stuff. Really, all I talked about was
just us telling each other how we, uh, felt about each other at your house
the other day. Was that... alright?"

	"Yeah, yeah, that's fine," I nodded. "I just didn't want her to
know about any of our... private matters."

	"I wouldn't care if you guys fucked on the first date," Isabella
added. I looked at her in complete shock and horror. "Seriously," she
continued, "no judgment here!"

	"WE DID NOT--" I had to remind myself of where we were, and brought
my voice to a harsh whisper. "We did NOT have... sex... on our first date
together! And I'll have you know that it wasn't even a date. All we did was
just hang out at my house, that's all!"

	She gave me an unbelieving smirk. "Mhm."

	"I'm serious!" I protested. I turned to Aaron and glared at
him. "Tell her we didn't do anything!"

	He looked startled with the sudden spotlight being turned on
him. "Um, uh, yeah, we didn't do anything, really."

	"See!" I said, very much satisfied at proving her wrong.

	"So you guys seriously expect me to believe that you two didn't do
aaaanything?" she asked with a superior grin on her face.

	The pointed look she was giving me made it a little hard to
speak. "Of-- of course not!" I said.

	"Really?" She tilted her head and gave me an amused look. "Because
it's kind of hard to believe you with all the blushing going on."

	I immediately brought my hands to my cheeks. "I-I'm not blushing!"
I turned to Aaron. "Am I blushing?" He tried his best to suppress a grin,
but I could see through it. I growled, "I am NOT--"

	"Hey, Butterfingers. What's all the fuss about?" I turned around
and was startled to see Mason taking a seat beside Aaron. "Hey, buddy," he
said to Aaron.

	"What the hell are you doing here?" Isabella asked. I don't really
know why, but ever since we've been friends, she's always had
this... distaste whenever Mason was involved; whether it be encountering
girls gossiping about him or just seeing him in the hallway. She always
brushed it off as nothing when I asked her about it, but it was obvious
something went down between them once upon a time.

	Mason gave her a side glance. "Oh, hello."

	Isabella looked outraged at his indifferent greeting. Thankfully,
Aaron decided to step in. "H-hey, Mase. What's going on?"

	He shrugged, "Nothing much. I just didn't feel like putting up with
all those annoying girls at my table. I also wanted to hang out with you
and your little boy toy today."

	It took me a second to process his words, until I realized that
1. Him and Aaron apparently knew each other (and were pretty close from
what I could tell), 2. HE KNOWS ABOUT ME AND AARON, and, oh yeah, 3. HE
KNOWS ABOUT ME AND AARON.

	Aaron looked at me and nervously laughed. "Mason, stop messing
around, dude."

	Mason gave Aaron a perplexed look. "Okay, uh, were you just kidding
then? Because last night on the phone, you said you totally just hooked up
with Ham-hands, here."

	I darted my gaze towards Aaron, hoping to whatever God above that
this was all a big joke, but the sheer panic on Aaron's face completely
gave him away and confirmed my fears at the same time.

	My inner psyche pretty much collapsed on the spot, and I found it
just a little hard to breathe at the turn of events. Aaron basically just
told some guy, Mason Lancaster, about us just a DAY after we got
together. Actually, not even a day; that very same NIGHT! I mean, Mason is
one of, if not the, most popular boy in our grade. He has tons of friends,
is welcomed in every social circle at school, and can basically ruin my
whole life with just a slip of his tongue.

	I was seriously panicking, and the look of concern on Aaron's face
was an indicator that I was not doing a good job of hiding it. But I wasn't
worried about that at the moment, not at all. I was still trying to cope
with the paranoia filling my mind with each passing second, and it got to
the point where I just couldn't take it anymore. I abruptly got up,
startling my three companions, and headed to the bathroom. I needed some
time to think, and more than that, I was feeling nauseous.

	I walked at a brisk pace towards the nearest restroom (It took
every once of strength I had not to break out into a run). When I finally
reached the bathroom, I was relieved to find it empty. I rushed into a
stall, locked the door, and proceeded to vomit. All I had for breakfast was
toast, so it was mostly dry heaving, but even that left me in tears. And
soon, it wasn't just the throwing up that was bringing tears to my
eyes. The inevitable outcome of me and Aaron's relationship spreading
started bringing sobs strong enough to wrack my whole body.

	The future played out in front of my eyes as if it were a film:
some ditsy girl telling Carter, Carter telling Mom and Dad, Dad becoming
enraged enough to throw me out, Mom and Dad fighting which results in their
divorce, me and Carter surely being split apart with each of them. I
started to cry even harder. And that's when I heard a soft knock on the
door.

	"Riley?" It was Aaron's voice.

	I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my arm. "I can't believe you
told him." My throat was unbelievably sore.

	"C'mon, Riley, it's not a big deal. Mason's my best friend, and,
and I wouldn't tell him if I wasn't absolutely sure that he was
trustworthy. I wouldn't have--"

	"I can't do this anymore," I managed to rasp out through tears.

	"What?" he asked.

	"This stupid relationship or... whatever it is-- whatever it WAS. I
can't do it, I'm sorry..."

	"What're you saying?" he said. There was an unmistakable crack in
his voice.

	"I'm saying... it's over."

----------------------------------------------------

Well....... there ya go. o_o

Um.... comments? lol.

Anyways, fun fact: Ms. Higgins's name is inspired by none other than Missy
Higgins. Anybody else a fan of her music? :)

Another fun fact: I took 5 years of Japanese in middle and high school, so
of course I had to incorporate that in the chapter somehow :P