Date: Mon, 07 May 2001 09:28:57 +1000
From: Drew Sydney <apwcomm@hotmail.com>
Subject: Chapter 16 Life at a private school

Hi everyone,
well here is another chapter of the ongoing saga of Tim and Josh.  The new
charcter Ben lets slip some interesting information and Josh starts to put
two and two together.  Please go to my website at http://www.superdrewby.com
and join become a member so you can get access to all the new fucntions such
as personals, searching for members, adding comments and articles to the
site.  Send me an email to apwcomm@hotmail.com and tell me what you think of
the story and the site all emails will get a reply although sometimes it may
take a few days for me to reply

Drew


Chapter Sixteen

My mother came out of the living room with a worried look on her face and
tried to calm down my father who was shouting at me at the top of his lungs.
  Even my sister came out into the entrance way to watch my father scream
and carry on.

I was firmly rooted to the same spot and couldn't move I didn't know what to
say and if I did say anything it would only make my father even angrier if
that was possible.

"Answer me young man, where have you been, school finished at 3:30pm that's
nearly four hours ago, where have you been?.

He was working himself up so much that his face was bright red and the veins
in his temple were throbbing.  For a moment I thought he would have a heart
attack and drop dead in front of me and I would be to blame! I morbidly
thought of him in a coffin for a moment before I was brought back to reality
with the ferocity of my father's screaming.

I looked to my mother for help but she too had a look of annoyance on her
face and I knew that she would not be able to help me at the moment either.

"All right if you won't answer me go to your room and you won't be allowed
to go anywhere till after your exams young man", he said pointing at me in a
menacing way.

I exploded at that point and started screaming at him to the absolute horror
or my mother who knew it was just going to make my father even more
immovable.

"Go to hell, I'm eighteen in two weeks, you can't keep on controlling my
life like you do, I'm old enough to make my own decisions for my life!"

I was amazed at my outburst but didn't stop there. "Just because you screwed
up your life and never went to university doesn't mean that you can live
your bloody life through me, I'm not you and I don't want to be you, let me
live my own life and stay the hell out of my decisions and my life"

My sudden outburst had thrown my father off balance because he wasn't used
to me answering him back or shouting at him and he stood their with a rather
dejected and bewildered expression on his face.  I burst into tears and ran
to my room before he had even had a chance to respond leaving my entire
family in shock at my outburst.

I slammed my door and threw myself on my bed crying into my pillow slamming
my fists against the bed.  All I wanted was to be happy and do what I wanted
with my life not to do what my father wanted me to do.  I had made a promise
to myself a few days before that I would not hide my true self anymore and I
would be what and who I wanted to be!

I was eighteen in two weeks and I already felt like a man, if I couldn't be
who I wanted to be at home then I would just have to leave home and find a
job.  I raised my head off the pillow as my mother opened my door and came
in.  I was embarrassed that she would see me crying so I put my head down
further in the pillow and quietly sobbed.  Mum sat on the edge of the bed
and gently stroked the back of my head not saying a word just stroking.  I
didn't want her there because I felt so hopelessly confused by all the
emotions I was feeling.

On the one hand I was still in the afterglow of sex, and I could taste my
tears mix with the taste of Tim on my lips.  But so much of me was angry and
upset at the reaction of my father and his so total and unchangeable vision
for my future.  It was after all my future not his that he was trying to
control and I was the only one who wanted to be in control of that.

My mother was still sitting on my bed, but no longer stroking my head when I
finally looked at her.  I could only imagine what my tear streaked face
looked like to her.  She looked at me with all the love and tenderness that
a mother can and waited for me to say something.  I stared at her trying to
think of the right words to say but nothing came out.

"Josh, you know that your father and I love you very much, he is just trying
to make sure that you don't make the same mistakes that he made at your
age".  She soothed at me.  "Give me some time to try and let him understand
that you are not him and that he can't live his life through".

I continued to watch her face and started to finally understand that she was
on my side, although I had the feeling that once she found out exactly what
was going on in my life she may feel very differently about it all.  I
nodded in agreement with her and she leaned over and gave me a kiss on the
forehead.  As she did her face drew away slightly as she smelled my hair and
she gave me one of her patented quizzical looks.

"Do you have a new girlfriend, is that why you spend so much time at friends
houses at the moment"?  My heart almost stopped as she asked me this and I
felt my face burn as I blushed and started to get all sweaty and
uncomfortable.  I simply nodded terrified that she had at the very least
guessed that I was seeing someone and was patently in love.

"Hmm well why don't you invite her round to meet me sometime, just be
careful you don't want to get her pregnant like me!".  I was still in a
state of shock but just numbly nodded my head in agreement all the while
worried if she had started to work out the truth.

"Oh and that friend of yours Tim, he's a lovely young man, no matter what
your father thinks of him and his kind", she murmured as she got up and
walked out of the room.

I listened as she went down the hallway to the kitchen and started to speak
to my father in a rather menacing tone.  From the little snippets I could
make out she was telling him to stop upsetting me and that I was simply a
teenage boy who was growing up.  The conversation got louder and louder and
I could hear my father shouting about queers as friends.

I stayed on my bed worried where this conversation was going and not really
understanding what my father was meaning.  In the end my mother shouted at
my father to grow up and letting me choose my own direction in my life.

I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes the clock on my
bedside table said it was nearly 3am.  I was still in my school uniform so I
got up off the bed and undressed and went back to sleep.  My sleep was
filled with dreams and I had a restless night.

When the alarm started buzzing at 7am I hastily slammed the snooze button
and tried to regain my sleep.  Pretty soon thought eh sounds and smells of
the morning made their way under the covers and my mind went into overdrive
again.  I knew that if I quickly got up showered and dressed I could avoid
my father and his wrath again.

I struggled out of bed looking around at my school uniform that had landed
on the floor in puddles of clothes.  I picked up my school shirt and sniffed
to see if it was still wearable or whether I would have to iron a new shirt.
Tim's scent was still strong form the night before and my already stiff cock
pulsated at the thought of my special lover.

I put the thoughts of wild sex out of mind and barricaded my door so no one
could come in unannounced and quickly got changed to go to school.  I
stealthily crept to the front door and opened it as quietly as I could so my
father wouldn't hear.  Unfortunately as the door opened my father roared
form the kitchen and I fled out the door with a muffled excuse that I was
late for practice.

I arrived at school so early that no one was there yet and I was alone to
think about all the things that had happened over the last couple of days.
I realized that I was now sitting in the same spot which I had used
regularly to watch Tim practice on the school field.  I had a twinge of
regret for the fact that my life had become so complicated of late, but I
was also so happy to have found the love of my life who also loved me!

I sat there for half an hour staring at the field remembering all the times
I had watched Tim with his shirt off running around the field.  My hormones
were in overdrive and my cock hardened as I imagined his smooth muscled
chest dripping with sweat as he dove for the ball.  I could see in my mind
his stomach tensing and rippling as he would run purposefully on his
powerful legs.  My imagination had started to see my self licking the sweat
from between his powerful chest and nibbling on his nipples.

A cool breeze made me momentarily forget about my fantasy and I
involuntarily shivered.  I had to work out what to do about my father so Tim
and I could continue to see each other whenever we wanted to.  Everyday that
I didn't see him was pure torture and I counted every minute that we were
apart.

If this is what love felt like, I thought, why did anyone fall in love.  I
laughed aloud at my cynicism and closed my eyes.  I was shocked when a voice
behind me asked if they could sit down.  I turned around and Ben was
standing behind me with a rather dejected look on his face.  My first
thought was to run away but I nodded my permission and Ben sat down looking
out over the field.

"It's a pity there is nothing to look at on the filed this early in the
morning, he said rather softly.  I looked at him not quite understanding
what he meant and then elaborated much to my surprise and a little horror as
well.

"you know what I mean, no cute guys with their clothes off, like Tim and
Brad and the rest of them from the football team".

"Are you um are you um, gay?, I asked even though I already knew the answer
from my conversation with Cass the day before.  I certainly wasn't expecting
this I thought to myself.  I was surprised by the turn of events but I was
also rather fearful of just how much he knew about me and Tim.

"I know you are, he said and then added, "and I know that you and Tim are
together".

I was totally shocked at the frankness of what he said even if he didn't
answer my question but told me that all of our careful planning and
subterfuge had been seen through. I started to deny that I was gay or Tim,
but Ben just looked at me with a sad expression on his face and said, "Cass
told me".

I was initially furious at Cass for telling him, but after a few seconds he
told me more that now started to make sense.  Ben's mother who had died the
year before had been a friend of Cass's at university and Cass was in many
ways like a surrogate mother.  I found this piece of information interesting
because I didn't know that Ben's mother had died.  I stayed silent while Ben
told me about the accident that had taken his mother in plane crash in
Argentina.  He had only just told his mother that he was gay and literally a
week later a freak accident on board a small commuter aircraft had killed
the only person in his life that he had ever been close to.

When he told his mother she had been very supportive and one of the first
things she had done was to ask Cass how she could help her son.  After the
accident Ben's father had withdrawn into a world of his own concentrating on
work and trying to shut out the pain of losing his wife of twenty years.
His relationship with Ben had never been strong as he didn't enjoy any of
the activities he did and so they had very little in common.  The school had
kept the accident quiet in the hope that Ben would be able to deal with it
privately and not have the entire episode dragged through the rumor mill.

Cass had Ben over for dinner every few nights and bit by bit had got Ben to
open up and tell her what he was really feeling.  I felt so low for the
things I had said to Cass the day before about Ben and also understood now
what she meant about Ben needing friends.  Ben was crying now as he told me
about the pain and shock he still felt when he thought about losing his
mother.  I felt like I should say something but I was fighting to keep the
tears form my eyes as well so I sat there staring.

"I really like you Josh, I have for a long time", he confided wiping the
tears from his cheeks.  "I had picked up that you were gay and yesterday
when I saw you and Tim together I got so jealous that I made a real fool of
myself trying to get you to want to be with me".

I was shocked to hear that this cute guy had feelings for me and had kept
these hidden very much like I had kept my feelings from Tim to myself.  I
was totally speechless and all I could do was stare at Ben's soulful eyes
awash with tears and uncertainty.  He took a deep breath and went on,

Cass told me that I upset you yesterday and I am really sorry for doing
that, I really didn't mean to hurt you or Tim, well I did mean to try and um
get you to um um well you know", he grinned sheepishly.  I blushed at the
meaning of what he said, after all he was very cute and if I wasn't with Tim
then I would have without question jumped at the prospect of sleeping with
him.  I thought about what the idea of sleeping with Ben for a moment in a
new light, I could see that he had a really nice body and he was just so
cute, but when it came down to it, I was in love with Tim and would never do
anything to disrupt either the trust or the love we had.

I so much wanted to give Ben a hug as he was now staring out into the oval
with tears streaming down his face.  I patted him on the shoulder instead
and gave a gentle squeeze.

"It's ok, I won't tell anyone", I murmured and let him continue his story.

Ben it seems had been watching me for years and had picked up my interest in
boys a long time before I had acted upon them.  He reminded me that the year
before we had been teamed to do a science project together and that was when
he had really fallen in love with me.  I conjured up the dark recesses of my
memory to remember what we had studied together but the shock of the last
couple of minutes had pretty much made my mind go blank.  Ben grinned at me
through his tears and seeing the confusion on my face reminded me that we
had Ben studying plant growth in Biology.

Ben went on for a while telling me about the depression he went though about
being gay, losing his mother and just feeling so alone in the world.  He
told me that he used to imagine me rescuing him like a knight in shining
Armour and taking him away from the reality of his life.  He also hinted
that he had fooled around with a few guys at the school over the past couple
of years although he didn't say who.

I was amazed that he had a thing for me, as I had never ever picked up on
any of the vibes and more to the point had never even suspected that he
might be another gay boy at the school.  I stifled a giggle as I thought
about Cass and her ragamuffin group of gay students at this very strict
private school.

Ben gave me a hard stare and I had to explain that I wasn't laughing at him,
but rather at the situation that Cass had managed to put her self in.  Ben
grinned and said that she had intimated that there were more gay guys at the
school but until yesterday had never said anything about who they might be.
I wondered how Tim would take this new piece of news, knowing that even
though he was starting to come to a better acceptance of his own sexuality
he was still very fearful of other people finding out.

The students were staring to appear in the grounds now and Ben was very
conscious of the fact that his face was tear streaked and his eyes were
puffy.  I was hoping that Tim would pass by on his way to his locker and see
me so I could say hello to him before the school day began and I was kind of
distracted listening to Ben.

I was shaken out of my search of the students by Ben's question, "I still
love you you know, do you think there could be a chance for use to um hang
out some time?"

I was somewhat taken aback by this question as he knew that I had a
boyfriend and what he was suggesting was just plain wrong, even if my
deepest and darkest thoughts were wondering what he would look like naked!

"Ben, I have a boyfriend, you know that and I love him very very much , I'm
sorry but it is just out of the question".  One part of me was incredibly
flattered at the idea of this very cute guy really liking me even when I had
a boyfriend, but the other half was kind of pissed off that he would even
ask such a thing.

"So a threesome might be ok", he grinned wickedly.  My mouth fell open and I
was too stunned to say anything.  But my cock immediately got hard thinking
about being sandwiched between this cute guy and my lover.  At that moment
the bell rang for five minutes to get to first period  and we both got up
and started walking towards our lockers.  Ben had noted the obvious mound in
my school pants and I couldn't help but notice the very obvious mound in his
pants either.

Ben went off to his locker and I walked up to mine.  As I was taking things
out of the locker I could feel that someone was behind me and I quickly
turned round knowing that it was Tim.  Tim's gorgeous face and deep eyes
stared at me and I wanted to grab him in a powerful embrace and never let
go.  Instead I reached out and gave him a little squeeze on the arm gently
stroking the bulging bicep covered by a thin shirt.  My horny state of mind
was not at all helped by the sight of my lover who was as splendid and
stunning as ever.

His school uniform could never quite hide the magical stallion that lay
beneath it and with every small move of his body the rippling youthful
muscles beneath would flex and contract.  My cock which has subsided now
instantly sprang back to attention saying hello to its master.  Tim noticed
the effect that he had on me and laughed at my predicament.  Our school
uniform of charcoal pants and white shirt only made a hard on all the more
obvious and mine was standing at attention.  He leant in a little closer as
if to lean against the lockers and gently brushed his hand against my cock.
I shuddered and I could feel the wet oozing warmth of pre cum as it flowed
into my boxers.

"You bastard", I hissed hornily, "Now look what you have done!".  I looked
into his eyes and for a moment my heart stood still and time stopped.

"You have fourth period free don't you, " Tim asked more as a statement that
a question.  "Can you help me with the solo for the musical orchestra," he
said rather loudly so others if they were eavesdropping would think nothing
of the conversation.  I nodded my understanding and thought about what we
could get up to for fifty whole minutes later on that day.  Before he left I
quickly told him about my father's outburst last night.

His eyes grew smaller and he chewed his lower lip in thought for a moment
before replying, "we'll work it out even if I have to kidnap you!".  I
grinned and licked my lips hungrily hoping that the rest of the morning
until fourth period would go fast.

As luck would have it the rest of the morning was spent in group work with
Nick and Dan who were studying the same subject as me.  We spent ages
talking about everything other than our work mainly our plans to go into
Oxford Street on Saturday night to a gay bar.  The teacher came over during
our conversation and we instantly started talking about whatever silly thing
we were studying.  I filled the boys in on some of the conversation I had
with Ben this morning and I noticed that Nick was very quiet whilst I told
them.

It suddenly clicked in my mind that Ben had said he had been with other guys
from the and the school and I wondered whether Nick may have been one of
them.  I carefully watched Nick's face whilst I continued and I thought to
myself that I must ask him later if he had been with Ben in the past.  There
was a lot to Nick's past that we didn't know and it was getting more
intriguing with every turn.  As the old books said the plot was certainly
thickening on this rather incestuous little group of gay students.

It had occurred to me over the weekend that there must have been more
students like us that were going through the same sort of things that we
were faced with.  I many ways Cass had become the unofficial convener of our
school gay group.  It was rather funny really although the problems we went
through and the support that Cass and we got from each other was something
very special.  I wondered how we could tacitly help other kids like us in
the school and made a mental note to talk to Tim and Cass about it later.
In the meantime I just had to get thought the next hour before Tim and I
could have some time together.