Date: Sun, 7 Dec 2003 13:53:53 -0800 (PST) From: Jackie Ray Chan <jackiebluemaryfan@yahoo.com> Subject: life goes on 4 Life Goes On... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* (sigh) this is the 4th installment of this story. I'm really starting to enjoy writing this. This is when James doubts his sexuality over Josh. Hehe... now I know, I might have spoiled it for some of you, but nothing beats reading the real thing so just go on... *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The day went on slow for James. He wanted to see Josh again. Although he didn't know why he wanted to, he just did. Classes slowly faded into one another in James' eyes as if the day didn't want to end. James found himself staring out blankly, as if he was in some kind of new dimension. He found himself imagining Josh and the way he moved, those sexy arms, that sexy face, those kissable lips. Then he imagined him stripping of his shirt in the most erotic manner. Then suddenly he snapped. "Argh!" he grunted slapping his head a couple of times. "is everything alright, Mr. Kiefer?" the teacher asked. "Yeah, ma'am... I'm just feeling a bit woozy, that's all..." James replied massaging his forehead. "I think you better go down to the infirmary. Anyways, school is about to end about 30 minutes, so you won't miss much on this topic. Now go, I don't want any of my students fainting in my class..." She joked. "Thanks ma'am." James smiled at the joke and slowly went out of the room to go to the infirmary. Staring out into the empty halls, he couldn't stop cursing himself for what he just did during class. "James, James, James! What the hell is wrong with you man! You're a guy, Josh is a guy too! You shouldn't be falling for him. Am I falling for him? Oh, God! This is so damn confusing!!!" he thought, nearly about to cry. "I can't be falling for him, I'm straight! It must be admiration, yeah. That's it! It's just an admiration. I like him, cuz he's tall and he's got good looks, and he's got a nice body, nice eyes, nice lips... oh my god! I'm doing it again! Shit! What the hell is going on?!?" he grunted almost loudly that it echoed down the halls. He hurriedly covered his mouth and made haste to the infirmary, which was a couple of floors below. All the while he continued his thoughts. "What is with him? What is with me? Oh god, no! I don't wanna fall in love, so much more, if it was a guy! Oh jeez! What am I gonna do?!?" he quivered, wrapping himself in his arms. Sighing he thought, "Whatever happens, I have to get over him!" "Hi! What are you doing here?" came an oddly familiar voice as James approached the infirmary. James' jaw dropped right there and then. To his shock and pleasure, Josh was right there sitting in the nurses chair. "Uh... are you ok?" Josh asked again. It took James about a minute and a half before he answered, "Yeah! My head just hurts that's all..." "Oh... Well come here." Josh said holding James by the arms, gently but firmly. He led him to one of the beds and told him to lie down while he got some aspirin. "What are you doing here?" James asked with a blush on his face, "I thought you were new here?" "Yeah, I am." Josh replied giving James the aspirin and a glass of water. "My ambition was to become a doctor. Luckily my aunt works here as a nurse, so whenever I have free time, I just drop on by and take a few lessons." Josh smiled while James drank the medicine. Gently he pushed James back into the bed and tucked him in. But James protested or at least tried to protest, "I'm not really comfortable being around with you, I mean, I'm not comfortable with you, I mean, I'm not comfortable with the blanket, I didn't mean that I'm not comfortable around you, I just meant that the blanket's making me a bit uncomfortable!" James stuttered. Josh smiled a bit a took of the blanket and set it aside. "Will there be anything more, sir?" Josh mocked, raising an eyebrow while smiling that smile that made James go crazy. "No..." James squeaked. "Hehehe..." Josh chuckled, "I hope we're still on for our date later..." "Date?! What date?!?" James asked, both in shock and worry. "You said you were going to show me around the school..." "Oh! That date..." James sighed, "of course! I'm feeling better already!" James said trying to stand up. "Not so fast mister..." Josh said, gently pushing him back into the bed, and putting his face close to James' "you need to get some rest first." "Whatever you say..." James obeyed, laying back on his bed looking over at Josh, who was looking over a few notes. He found himself staring at him and not resting at all. he eyed Josh's whole body, from his handsome face, to his lean arms and torso, and his cute butt, James didn't realize that Josh noticed that he was staring. "Ahem..." Josh coughed, "What are you staring at?" he smiled "Huh? Uh..." James stammered, not knowing what to say, "just wondering..." he fibbed. "Oh? About what?" "Uh... why'd you want to be a doctor?" James said, more asking than stating. Josh sighed a bit, hesitant if he was going to tell James. He looked at James in the eye and sighed again, "Well, it all had to do with a friend of mine..." he started, "he died" Josh said getting a bit misty-eyed. James sat up and prepared to listen. "I was around 10 and he was about 13, we were like the best of friends. We'd do stuff together, play around in the park, go to the lake and swim, make fun of the teachers behind thier backs, then suddenly it all disappeared..." Josh whimpered, sheding a tear from his left eye. "His family told mine that he had leukemia and that if he didn't get treated soon it would be too late. But it already was too late, he had been keeping his sickness a secret for a long time." Josh sighed deeply, looking out the window. "He died in my arms, I was holding on to him when all of a sudden he breathed in deeply and, and..." he coudn't continue any further, he started to break down. James immediately rushed to his side, hugging him tight. Although James knew that the two of them weren't that at all close, he still felt it his obligation to comfort a friend in his time of need. For that moment, all lusty thoughts of Josh were eliminated from James's head. For that moment James felt the intimacy of brotherhood that was between them. He couldn't explain it, but it felt good just holding him right there and then. "I'm sorry man," Josh said, gathering himself up, "I shouldn't have broken down like that." "No, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked you." James said guiltily "It's not your fault." "Still, I'm sorry..." "Hey, don't worry about it..." *RING RING* "Well, school's out... how's about my free tour?" Josh smiled "Come on... I'll show you around!" James smiled as well, holding Josh's hand as they went off... *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Ahh... (sigh) what do you think? Again, you can send me your comments, suggestions, violent reactions at jackiebluemaryfan@yahoo.com. Art isn't in this installment yet, but be patient, he'll come around some time. Again, see you next around!