Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:51:04 +0100
From: A.K. <andrej@andrejkoymasky.com>
Subject: The Life Wheel 02/15 (High School)

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THE LIFE WHEEL
by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2008
written on October 1, 1991
translated by the author
English text kindly revised by The Australian

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USUAL DISCLAIMER

"THE LIFE WHEEL" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic
scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family,
opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to
read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or
because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed
guest.

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CHAPTER - Marco 1

Leo is really a clever guy. Stefano also, but Leo is great. When "Madam
the Dean" called us in about our poster, I was ready to start with the
rights of minorities, but he made me a sign to keep silent.

Then, with a brazen smile he said, "The Arci-gay is a registered
association according the Italian law, and our poster got the Public
Service authorization and stamp. Our request to expose it is according
the law. Where is the problem?"

The Dean, dryly answered, "There is not just the law that matters, but
also the opportunity if it. A poster advertising homosexuality seems to
me absolutely inopportune."

And Leo, absolutely quietly, said, "Forgive me for correcting you,
Madam. Our poster is just advertising a set of movies. Movies that are
in the normal circuit of the theatres and that evidently have already
undergone the censorship service."

She seemed as if she were about to burst. "Anyway they are films (and
she hissed the final "s") advertising homosexuality."

Leo interrupted.  "Besides the fact that even if they did what you say,
in Italy homosexuality is not illegal. Anyway, for you to state your
opinion like this, it is evident that you already saw all of them."

I thought that at this point she would really explode, but she said,
"No, I didn't see them and I really don't want to see them!  Anyway you
may notice that the majority of this school students are under age."

"I know Madam; we too are still under-age, but if one of  these movies
were forbidden to minors under18 years,  it would be the task of the
movie theatre to prevent a minor entering.   It is not your business."

At this point "Madam the Dean" said, "For heaven's sake, none of you
three seem to feel the less decent in publicly declaring your
homosexuality. Don't you feel any shame?"

This time it was me to answer her, "No more than you being a woman - do
you possibly feel ashamed of it, Madam Dean?"

She told me not to be cheeky. I didn't think I had been cheeky. Anyway,
the conclusion was that we put that poster inside our school.

This story with our dean happened in the 5th junior high school, when
Leo enrolled in our school and was put in our class.  Stefano and I
already knew about each other, but never had the guts to come out to our
mates. It is not that Leo had just entered the classroom and at once
declared that he was gay.  But soon after, when one of our class-mates
asked him if he had a girlfriend, with the most natural expression of
this world he answered, "No, I've a boyfriend." Everybody laughed,
thinking he was joking, but he took out of his wallet and showed them a
picture of  him and another boy kissing, and said, "He is my boyfriend.
His name is Tony."

Just like that !

Then, in a class composition test having as it's title "I will speak in
defence of...", or something like that, Leo wrote a composition entirely
in defence of homosexuality.

Our lady teacher refused to correct it, and wrote as a mark "not
classified". Leo at first said nothing, but in the following lesson, he
came with plenty of law articles and Ministerial Decrees and showed that
 he has the right to have his test revised, scored. Not about his ideas,
but about his ability to write in good Italian, and his skill in
supporting his ideas with logical reasoning.

Our teacher had to revise it and give him a mark. She gave him a stingy
6.5/10, and under it wrote "composition without real mistakes, but with
very personal and not always acceptable ideas". Leo is the best of us
all, in all disciplines, and there was nothing they could do to him or
about the composition.

So, both Sandro and I decided to do our coming out at school and to side
with Leo. We subscribed to the Arci-gay association and after that we
always openly sustained our ideas.

It can seem odd but coming out at school gave me a lot less trouble than
with my parents when they caught me in bed with a boy, but at this point
I've never felt as good as now, regardless of my schoolmates, both boys
and girls, who, after a first period when they acted silly with idiot
sentences like "if you're going to the loo, it'll be better for me go
another time...".   In the end they all accepted us.

Being caught while I was making love with a boy!?  What a mess! I was in
the 4th year of junior high school, (two years ago). Carlo was sixteen
and was already working.  He was our next door neighbour. We knew each
other since childhood.  I would often go to play at his house, or he at
mine, or both together to the church playground.  He didn't like to
study, and had to repeat the 3rd year several times and so, as soon as
he was sixteen, started working.

His job was in a bar, from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. Then he came back home and
usually came to my home, as my parents usually didn't come in until 7
p.m. So we watched TV, played games,  and generally amused ourselves.
We started to touch each other and, as one step leads to another, we
ended with doing those sex things for real and it was incredibly good,
because we also were somewhat affectionate.

But one day my father came home before the usual hour, as he had been
taken suddenly ill and his foreman sent him back home.  When we heard
the door open, we tried to hurriedly dress, but my father understood
everything and it started the Doomsday.  As Carlo was older than me
(just one year) my father wanted him to be sent in a reformatory but to
avoid that, his family had to move far away.  My father really behaved
like a bastard.

Even though at first, I was only thinking of being forgiven, even at the
price of swearing  the most absurd things before God, after my father
forced Carlo's family to disappear, I became steamed-up and yelled to my
father that I was a faggot, and proud if being so, and that to have
forced Carlo to go away would be of no use, as I intended to have sex
with all the men and boys who would like fucking me in the arse.   My
mother  tried to blackmail me by crying and playing the victim. My
father (even though, I must say, differently than Stefano's father,
never raised a hand on me) was instead trying to play the diehard.

But at the end, after a couple months of hell, my folks proposed me a
kind of compromise, "As long as it is not generally known,  you can do
what the fucking hell you like!" Therefore a new tragedy happened as
soon as they got to know, at once informed by our very diligent "Madam
the Dean" that I became one of the activist of the Arci-gay in our
school.

After all, my parents had given me grief, but it was not because they
were bad, but they were not able to understand that being gay is no less
normal and legitimate than being straight, and that after all, 'gay' and
'straight' are nothing but labels. They were now acting with me in a
rather normal way, provided that I don't even hint at my "problem".
Never mind.  It's not easy to educate one's parents, or any other people
that held such a distorted view.   To them, knowing that I, their only
child, was gay was akin to something like having a handicapped son - a
piece of bad luck that one just had to tolerate.

Mum told me - I love you even though you are "so". Just as she would
have said - "I love you even though you were a drug addict, a thief, or
a murder".

When I pointed it out to her that she was making little difference, she
answered - yes it is all the same.

Having met Stefano, then Leo, gave me back a lot of serenity, strength
and confidence.

In the fist year of senior high school we changed practically all our
teachers. The one teaching literature and language is a new one, just a
greenhorn.  He seems to be a likeable guy.  He seems nicely built from
what his clothing allows to guess.  He is a really polite guy and
doesn't seem to be a nuisance.

It was our fourth or fifth lesson with him, when Stefano asked leave to
talk and when the literature Prof. made a sign that he could talk, he
stood up and said, loud an clear, "As you are new to our school, I think
it right that you know that Marco, Leo and I are gay activists."

The baby-Prof, who was listening to the preamble with a kind smile,
didn't turn a hair and at once answered, "I've always admired those who
struggles for what they are, even when their struggle for an ideal is
different from mine."

Well, I sincerely didn't expect such an answer... so fair-minded of a
teacher, and one that appeared so straight.

Then Leo asked him, "Can we then have a discussion about the gay
condition here in the classroom, during your lesson hours?"

And the Prof. "If we are late with our lessons, we can't, but if we are
in advance, why not?  It just depends on you. All discussion can be
useful if we respect the ideas of the others and if the subject is
important. Sexuality is always an important subject, as it is an
essential part of mankind."

I then asked him, "You are never scandalized by anything?" hoping he
would tell us what was his thought about we three and out choices.

And he answered, becoming animated, "I'm scandalized by hypocrite
people, racists, violent people, selfish people and all who are unable
to love."

Good. I got the impression he is somebody with whom it is possible to
reason, so I started to look at him with different eyes, I mean, I
started to really like him.

The only point that riled me was that, last week, he told me, "Olivero
Marco, I get the impression that you could do better than you are doing.
I think you are clever, intelligent but that you are doing just the
minimum. It's a pity. If you were more diligent, you could get really
good marks."

I told him, "My father want me to become a doctor. I'm not at all
interested in it, but I don't want to disappoint him.  To me it is
enough to get the minimum to pass.  I don't want become a bookworm.  I'm
young, and I want to enjoy my youth without wasting it on things that
may be of no use to me."

He just answered, "I understand, but it is a pity."  He never spoke of
it again as the other Profs. would do.  This is one more point why I
like this baby-Prof.

I think he is twenty-five, he has long, manicured and tapered hands,
like those of a pianist. He is tall, just a finger less than me.  He has
blue eyes, beautiful long eyelashes, a straight mouth but with the ends
that fold upwards as soon as he starts smiling.  This gives him a
likeable expression.  He has soft, smooth thick brown hair, lighter than
mine. He always dresses with elegance but without exaggeration. Somewhat
casual, merry, likeable. Yes, likeable.

When he explains something, he is able to be interesting and it's clear
he believes in what he says. Being his first year as a teacher, he is
rather exceptional - he speaks clearly, we can understand all he says,
he is absolutely not boring but I don't think he is a guy you can easily
take for a ride. He has a good sense of humour too!


I think that Stefano is has a small crush on the Prof.  He never studied
as much literature as he does  now with the new Prof.  When I asked
Stefano if he would like to have sex with him, he just answered, "Why,
wouldn't you?"  I didn't really think about it until up to then, but I
think I would have liked doing it at least once, just for a try.   Who
knows how he is in bed?  Hot, cold, lazy, frenzied... I really can't
imagine it.  He also wears soft clothing so that one cannot determine if
he has a big, medium or disappointing cock.  It's true that the size is
not so important, the main thing is how one uses it.

According to Leo, the Prof. is straight.   Stefano says we cannot tell.
 I would like to discover that, but I'm sure it would be useless just
asking him.

When he is with us, he always treats us with the same kindness, both
boys and girls.  I can't detect any difference. Is it possible that he
can be bisexual?

I think that our PE teacher is a repressed gay.   He always talks about
women, about his girlfriend, but at times he looks at us with much too
interest, but he is not my type. He's to much a mister muscle and he is
not too clever.  Well, he's not really dumb.  Other than talking about
sports , there is no communication, no reasoning.  Moreover he always
uses platitudes. He seems so keen to be liked and that rather upsets me.

On the contrary, professor Cordero is always spontaneous and likeable
without making efforts to be so. Time will tell as we have just started
the new school year.  Certainly his blue eyes are beautiful. They remind
me the eyes of Elio, the boy with whom I had sex at the sea-side after
Carlo disappeared.

I miss Elio a little. We still write to each other.  He was a bomb.
Looking at him, so very quiet, you couldn't foresee what hurricane he
was in bed!  He's twenty years old, he had plenty of experience and I
never got tired having sex with him. We met in a disco. Not a gay disco.
He was just dancing near me and looked at me, looked at me...

Then he said, "Do you know that you dance really well? You move in a
sexy way."

So we started to chat and discovered that we both were stopping at the
same hotel. And he was alone. We went back to the hotel at  4 a.m.

When we said goodbye in the corridor he kissed me (just a little kiss, I
mean) and said, "I'm happy to have met you. If you'll come to wake me
tomorrow, we can go to the seashore together." as he handed me his room
number.

Well, around ten o'clock, I went and knocked on his door and he yelled,
"Come in!" and in less than five minutes I was in his bed and we made
love... up until to lunch time!

We made love every day that month, we didn't skip so much as one day.  I
think that my father and mother knew but they pretended not to.  They
were somewhat cold and distant towards Elio, although not really
impolite.  With Carlo it had been a friendship coloured with sexual
games. With Elio it was sheer sex, really great.  We always made love in
his room, almost always in the morning, the windows fully open and in
total freedom.  We only had sex once on the seashore, at 2am. It's a
pity that Elio lives 400 kilometres away. I can possibly go to visit him
for Xmas.

Our literature teacher has the same eyes than Elio. Who knows if he has
the same fire in bed?

Last Saturday I went to a gay disco with Leo, his boyfriend Tony, and
Stefano. Stefano hooked  onto a hunk straight away.  I was thinking that
I may remain alone but, just before closing time a guy on his thirties,
or a little less, hooked me. We went to his studio. Not bad at all, even
though he was only a top, but he was skilled with his mouth and made me
come many times with it . We made a date for next Saturday, at the same
gay disco, but I don't think I will start anything serious with him. He
is way too a posh chap, too much middle class, when we aren't in his
bed.

In a 'bed' relationship it doesn't matter.  Does it?  Anyway for the
moment it's alright, better than nothing.

If our literature teacher liked boys, I think I would like better being
with him if he was skilled in bed. At times, while he is explaining
something, I look at his lips and fantasize about being naked with him
and imagine slipping  my dick between those lips.   I get such a
hard-on. The funny thing is, that I'm not really able to imagine him
naked. Who knows how he is? Possibly disappointing. Who knows how he
would react if he knew what passes through my mind? Possibly he too, in
spite of his air of innocent, has undressed us in his fantasies and
fucks around with us, even thought he doesn't give that impression. He's
different to the PE Prof. He always undresses us with his eyes, in spite
of always talking of pussies.

Anyway it's clear that at least half of the girls in our classroom have
a crush for Professor Cordero.

Yesterday evening Leo showed me the last issue of Gay Italia. There is a
porno-model who could resemble to our literature Prof.   If Cordero had
such a body, there would be something to lick one's chops about,
something to get hot over.  I'm certain that when Stefano sees those
pictures, he will beat his meat in front of the magazine dreaming of
being with our Prof.

Leo is surely lucky being allowed to have his gay magazines at home
without his folk getting on his nerves.   He can take his Tony home and
make love to him. His parents know it and treat Tony as if nothing
happened  They have even invited him to spend Xmas holidays in their
mountain house.  They will even let him sleep in Leo's room.  They will
just add a bed. Leo is really a lucky chap.  How good it would be if my
parents were like that!

Stefano's parents are half way between my parents and Leo's.  No, they
are worse than mine, as they beat Stefano. It is true that Leo's folks,
even though talking about Tony they always say "your boyfriend" as the
most natural thing in the world, never did have a real interest in their
son's life besides the material things.  Leo feels them almost like
aliens. No, he says - like distant relatives.

Well, one cannot have everything in one's life. It could possibly be
better having parents who just mind their own business and let you do as
you please. Or is it possible that the parents of our friends always
seem to us better than ours, because we don't have to get bored with
them all the day long, all life long.

Leo says, "They don't make me miss anything, but we have no
communication no dialogue". I say "they always try to nose in my life,
and always want me to behave as they want". Well, they are now leaving
me in peace about my being gay, provided that I don't talk about it. The
ostrich technique.    Who knows if there are ideal parents?  Ones who
loves you, have a dialogue with you, accept your boyfriend as they would
accept as if he were a girlfriend, and who lets you make your own
mistakes without oppressing you?  Is this just a dream?

Anyway in one year I will come of  age. At this point I will possibly
carry on my high school studies, but then I will look for a job,
allowing me to go and live by myself. Or with my boyfriend, if I can
find a guy worth sharing my life with, without just fucking.

Stefano introduced me to a couple of his friends, Sergio and Pino, a gay
couple. They both are university students and live together. They both
work and study. They are a really great couple, they have lived together
for three years now.  They have a small but nice attic downtown. Sergio
is shop assistant at the Armani boutique and Pino works in a travel
agency. They are studying together and do all the university tests
together.  This is a solution I would love.

A few days ago, our literature Prof. was explaining Dante Alighieri's
"Love, that exempts no one beloved from loving".  He made us see that
the following lines "Seized me with pleasure of this man so strongly,
that, as thou see-est, it doth not yet desert me" defines this love more
as a carnal love than a spiritual one. So a discussion about love
started.

Our Prof told us, "There is a theoretical concupiscence love that makes
you say - you are mine. There is a theoretical donation love that makes
you say - I am yours.  Then there is a practical love swinging between
those two kinds of love that when it finds a true balance, makes you say
- "let's build our lives together."

Then Luisella said, "But the love for God is always a donation love."

The Prof said. "Also love for God can be a concupiscence love - I love
God, therefore God ought to protect me. God can be felt as something we
possess, towards which we have rights."

Then Leo said, "It seems that you are saying that concupiscence love is
wrong."

And the Prof responded.  "I think that none can totally be free from it,
but I also think that if our love is solely a concupiscence love, it
would be wrong. Wrong, because it treats the other as a propriety, as a
possess, not as an autonomous being worthy of respect.  Concupiscence
love gives you only rights and no duties.  It is a maimed kind of love.
It is a kind of love denying to the other their liberty.   A love not
accepting the other as they are but who wants to bend them to their
will, to their needs.

"Therefore, in the end, it is not even a real love. It makes of the
other an object, an object for his own enjoyment, not only physical, a
love that makes a slave of the other one. Both the carnal and the
spiritual love, who very seldom are separated, can be a love of donation
or of concupiscence."

I have to say that this made me think a lot.  It would be fine to be to
able to live a love being at one end, carnal and spiritual, and at the
other end that of donation and of concupiscence, in a good balance and
harmony. Who knows if when one has well understood what love is, he
automatically becomes a perfect lover? Or else, one can preach one thing
and practice another also when the subject is love?

I have  a lot of concupiscence feeling  towards Elio, a little bit of
donation, very much carnal love and a shadow of the spiritual one.
Yes, a lot of carnal concupiscence.  I really like his body a lot, and
his way of making love.  I will go to meet him for Xmas and we will have
great fucking sessions.  It could not be love, but just the thought of
it is giving me a good hard-on. "Seized me with pleasure of this man so
strongly"... Very good Mr Dante!  If our literature Prof. really had
such a beautiful body like that porno-model, I too would be "seized with
pleasure for that man so strongly"!

I'm afraid I'm a sex-maniac!

When I was a little boy, even before trying it with Carlo, and long
before having any understanding of it, I wanted sex with men, I always
felt attracted by the male nude, and above all being able to see a nice
dick, preferably hard.

I remember when I was about ten years old, when uncle Mirko came to see
us and was put to sleep in my room and I saw his dick.  I was
fascinated.  I pretended to be already asleep, but spied on him while he
was undressing. I though his tool was huge, even if now I think that
mine is possibly bigger.   I also remember that when I was thirteen,
after a class in the gym, I always tried to be one of the last to
shower, so I could do it at the same time as our coach.  He was always
going in and out of the shower stall totally naked, so I could enjoy the
vision of his beautiful cock, hanging between his thighs, big as a ripe
banana. These are the only two cocks I've seen before I started having
sex.  Even now I feel the desire to enjoy this kind of show.

Next summer I'd like to go to a nudist camping.  I'd like to allow my
eyes to wander and, possibly, gaze upon other bodies.  Naturally, to
enjoy the glances of other handsome guys as they stare upon my private
parts.  I think I am a nice view for the eyes of an expert. I can
possibly be a little too much of a narcissus, but no, no way.  Between
looking and being looked at, if I had to make a choice, I would prefer
to be able to look.   Am I a selfish boy? Or just a peeping Tom?   For
instance, I never saw two men or boys making love.  I think I would be
really aroused if I could watch, especially if they were young and
handsome like some of the models in Gay Italia.

And then, how good could it be having a threesome, a foursome... or
more?  Could it be great? Leo says he would never have a threesome.
Especially now that he has his Tony, he doesn't want a third one with
them to share in the fun.

Once Tony came to accompany Leo at our school. He had to enter later,
and when they said goodbye, they exchanged a little kiss, there in front
of all our school-mates.  This gave me an odd feeling, but a good one.
I was envious.  Our class-mates didn't made fool remarks. Who knows what
face our "Madam the Dean" would have done! And professor Cordero? He
possibly would not have made a weird expression. I really don't think he
would have done it as he is a clever guy.

I feel some envy for Leo, who has had  a boyfriend for such a long time.
They go steadily in love and harmony.   Tony is a really sexy boy.  I
saw him once with just his briefs on.  Besides the nice swelling in his
tight underwear, he has a body you just feel like kissing it all over,
or even better, to lick all of it.  When he dances, his body seems to
say " take me, here in the midst of the dancing floor",  but his glances
are only and always for Leo and vice versa.  It seems as if they are
making love with their eyes. Yes I really envy both of them.   I also
believe they never cheated on each other. About Leo I am sure, as he
always tells me everything.

If I had a steady boyfriend, would I be faithful to him? Probably yes.
Not as a principle, but if I were I love with him, I could also look at
the others, possibly also have my fantasies, but I would never have sex
with them. And what if, on he contrary, my boyfriend cheated on me? At
least theoretically, I think I would let him have his adventures, as
long as he doesn't neglect me.  I'm not really sure. If this problem
arises, I will see what my reaction will be. Anyway I think that
jealousy is something absurd.

How does Cordero judge jealousy? Given the first chance, I'll ask him.

Cordero, Cordero, why aren't you gay?

And if he really is?

Cordero, Cordero, what are you hiding under our clothes?

Some jewels or... nothing? Smooth like a doll?  Just think what a
disappointment! Professor Cordero, an angelic being.

Or on the contrary, Professor Cordero,  lascivious as a mandrill?
Endowed like a stud bull?

Yes, I am possibly a real sex maniac!

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CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 3

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In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to
read them, the URL is

http://andrejkoymasky.com

If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English
translations, so that I can put on-line more of my  stories in English
please e-mail at

andrej@andrejkoymasky.com

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