Date: Sat, 19 Aug 2006 12:26:12 +0100
From: Ray Cherrie <chermo@hotmail.co.uk>
Subject: High School   Looking Back    10    Final Farewell

I stood transfixed  a mixture of shock and bewilderment and anger. Kiwi had
been in St Andrews since 1988 and had never got in touch  . How could he do
that to me.    I just sat there and stared. About an hour later Griff
arrived and came in.  He hugged me and got it full blast  "How the fuck
could he be there all that time and not get in touch.  I mean St Andrews its
just up the road   we could have ... " I blustered.

"Mondo mate  calm down  it was his choice  he knew how to get to us  I mean
we have not been hard to find, have we. .    I never told you,  he made me
promise not to,  but I have met him twice over the years . Once he came to
see me when we played at Charlton. He told me he had  got  a job on a cruise
ship   arranging entertainment" Griff  said hesitantly

"He'd be good at that  he'd have all the old biddies round his little finger
within minutes."  I interrupted.

"Most of the time  he asked about you how you were doing and I told him
about Fi and how well things were going.   The next time must have been just
after he came back here. We were playing a friendly at Dunfermline and he
was standing outside after the game . Told me he had moved back to hiss
sisters but wouldn't be pressed on it.  Just kept asking about you mate and
were you happy."   He said.   My eyes were welled with tears..

" Griff" I said, "I'm gonna tell you something I ain't ever told anyone and
don't want ever repeated not even to my sis.  That night I stayed together
with him when I was at university   well I stayed together with him in every
sense of the word."

" Hey" said Griff  his arms round me  "I guessed as much.  You didn't need
to say,  I could see it in your eyes whenever we talked about him and when
he talked about you it wasn't in the same way as he talked about others - it
never was, even right at the first time when we were in Arbroath that
summer. . You never said  but there was also some chemistry between you
two."

The next week we went off to St Andrews for the funeral  There was not
surprisingly a good turnout  Kiwi was that kind of guy very popular.  A few
faces were there from our past  -  GG  who recognised Griff from his
newspaper photos   and Johnno and Jeff from Falkirk.  All amazingly had kept
out of trouble and were doing well for themselves,  though I have to say
they were looking older than us . We had a few drinks together catching up,
and recounting stories of Kiwi.  We paid our respects to Kiwi's  sister  and
she asked us to call her in a couple of days.

The following week Griff and I met with his sister  in St Andrews.  "Three
weeks ago I hated you two profoundly.  He always talked about you all the
time said you were  his best mates ever. He was so proud of you both and
what you had achieved, I could never understand why such good mates never
came to see him .  Then I found out that it was his choice , it was in a
letter he left for me  You"  ,she said  looking at Griff, "he regarded as a
real mate, he idolised you.  You , I don't know,   you were something really
special to him.  He said it was his decision to keep his distance from you
and he made sure of it..  I've no idea why  but  I'm sure he had his
reasons.  "

We asked a few questions about Kiwi and his sister filled us in.  She was
two years older than Kiwi and they had a hard upbringing . Kiwi had always
been in with a bad crowd and thought he could charm his way out of anything.
  From the age of 10 he had been almost out of control  covering for his
lack of stature with in creased bravado and willing to do any dare. That was
what got him to Arbroath when he took a car  but I mean he had already been
in court twice before that.

"Typical Kiwi"  Griff and I said  "we get sent away for our first real
offence and he would have got the judge on his side"

". I don't know ho wI don't know how much he told you about his home life
but we were having  a few problems by the time he got out on probation and
he went even wilder which was why he ended up in your place. After that
summer  which was the happiest I ever saw him the move South didn't go well.
  He resented being there he wanted to be back up here with you. Argument
followed argument and when I moved out to go to college  he cleared off and
went to London.  He kept in touch with me though.  I was worried sick about
him. I was sure he would end up back inside or worse  and I had all sorts of
fears as to how he was earning.  A few years later he told me about the
modelling, which didn't really surprise me , but he was adamant that was all
he did. In his bar work where he met a lot of people from the entertainment
business and you know what he was like got on well with them   Then I heard
from him that he was going on a cruise ship as an entertainment officer "

" I saw him and . he looked different somehow and mentioned that he had seen
both of you recently. ( Stretching the truth a bit  I thought) .  It turned
out to be  a great move for him. He was great at the job  and got promotion
and ended up leaving with a fair bit saved.  He had the idea of setting up a
Club and I heard of an opening here in St Andrews where I had moved. I
really wanted my baby brother home where I could keep an eye on him and
between his savings and my husband's we were able to get a lease on the
place.  After a slow start it became the in place to be and was packed out
every weekend and as you will see from his will did really well.  He was
always the life and soul of the party and had boundless energy and despite
being your age could mix easily with the student crowd in the term time and
the golf tourists in the rest of the year with equal success.  It's a pity
he had never married what a catch he would have been  but  although there
were always plenty offers  he tended to keep himself to himself and I
suppose away from work he was very lonely, not that he was away from  work
very often. He was a magic uncle to my  kids they loved him and he did a
hell of a lot of private good work for charities in the areas especially
kids charities. But funnily I think the happiest time of his life was when
he was with you guys."

"Here I think you will want to see this", she handed me a thick folder and
left the room. I opened it and immediately tears came into my eyes. It was a
scrap book. Kiwi had kept every little thing about us that had ever appeared
in the papers and there were hundreds of pics  going all the way  back to
our holiday in Blackpool and even of our junior football team which he had
watched that summer.  We looked and laughed at the change of hairstyles and
memories..

His sister returned , " He left these for you too" . There were letters for
us both , a voice from the grave,  I sat down and opened it.


"Mondo  if you are reading this then I'm not with us anymore and we've never
been back in touch. I know you will be hurt about this especially when you
find out that I am only over the water from you , and by the way  don't
blame Griff , he is  , as I know you know , a fantastic mate, no man could
have a better one , although he saw me a couple of times I never let it
slip.  I couldn't let you know.  I know how happy you are with Fi .I've
actually met her you know,   through a mutual friend. She was introduced to
me one night at a charity dinner and shit I almost collapsed when I realised
who she was.  I can see why you two get on so much. I felt so easy with her,
  it was like how the two of us and Griff got along just so comfortable in
each other's company. Griff told me how much you two are in love and that
was obvious from the one night..  I even met your oldest daughter who has
been in my Club a couple of times she's got your eyes.  I know that somehow
if we had got together then something might have happened which would have
damaged so many people and  end up damaging you too and I couldn't let that
happen."

"You can't know the number of times  I wanted to pick up the phone , just to
talk to you or invite you out for a drink but it would just have been
selfish of me.  Mondo that night we spent in my flat in London,    I decided
that morning that if I saw you again it would be too hard to let go, maybe
for both of us.   It was the best night of my life.   I loved you more than
anything and always will"

I was  crying buckets   Griff just looking at me as I wept.  "I loved you
too wee guy. It might be a different type of love  but love it certainly
was."

Griff and I left and we took the book.  I let him read the letter vowing him
to secrecy, and I knew it would be kept.


There was another envelope for the two of us  -  it contained the Dundee
Telegraph cutting I had been sent seven years earlier  highlighted at the
section "Cornfoot claimed only to have had two drinks"  and written beside
it on a post-it  was  " He did  but it was in my bar, and I made sure that
they had some extra punch in them . Yes I then called the cops when he left
with the reg. number. The clowns should have got him before the open road
where he could have hurt someone but as usual they were too slow. Thank fuck
he didn't hurt anyone but the result was magnificent. It was for the three
of us and the others he fucked with "

I smiled "Thanks mate" I said to myself  I saw Griff looking to looking to
the sky and giving a thumbs up.

His Club had been a big success  and he left in the region  on  £ 1 1/2
million.  It  had even been the haunt of the heir to the throne in the last
year or so , I could just imagine Kiwi and a prince, unlike many he would
have just fitted in without trying  .  He left  £500,000 to the two of us to
set up a trust  to give people a second chance at life like we all had.
Griff and I vowed that day to match that amount . Griff has made a fair bit
with is football and donated 200k and with my company sold   I  was able to
donate £1m  The last ten years have been spent administering the trust and
giving young guys a chance.

This is the sixth anniversary of Kiwis death and I felt it was time  this
story was told.  My inspiration was as always Kiwi. It is like he has never
really left as I keep finding cryptic notes in the huge folder of clippings
he left me.   This is dedicated to you wee guy hope you are laughing and
charming the pants of everyone up there.



That's the end of the story  -  the names and places have bene changed to
protect the innocent  but the basis is based on truth.  I enjoyed writing
it.  I hope you enjoyed reading it