Date: Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:53:08 -0700 (PDT)
From: Johnny Massey <johnnymas1288@rocketmail.com>
Subject: LOST WITHOUT LOVE CH.1

Warning: this work contains sexual material involving two young men.  If
this offends you in any way or it is illegal to read this content in your
area, LEAVE NOW!!

Also, this in an original work.  Please to not steal anything from this
story.

Enjoy!
LOST WITHOUT LOVE

Chapter 1

      ?Oh my God, just five more minutes!!? I moaned.  It was five a.m. as
I was awakened by the blaring beep of my alarm clock on the first day of my
Junior year of High School.  I always knew that there was something
different about me since I was about five.  The truth?  Just three years
ago, I realized I was gay.  Yes, gay.  I thought I was attracted to girls,
but I was wrong.  I thought I was able to keep up the charade of being
closeted, but that was to change soon?.VERY SOON.


      Maybe I should give a brief description about myself before I get
going.  I?m Jonathan Johnston. Though I prefer to be called Johnny.  I?m
about 6?1??, 160 lbs.  Shaggy, dark brown hair, about shoulder length.  A
slim but toned figure.  I do a lot of running and swimming.  I am usually
described as the punk/skater guy.  But I don?t care, I hate being labeled.
I just like being Johnny.


      I had a hard time trying not to fall back asleep.  I was both excited
and scared about the new year all at the same time.  I was excited to see
my two best friends Olivia and Damien.  They were the only two people that
knew my secret.  The only two that I knew I could trust with it.  I felt
ashamed that I couldn?t just tell my parents.  I mean, I love them and all,
but I don?t think I could take the constant, harsh criticisms that would
come after.  They?ve always told me that they would always love me no
matter what, but I couldn?t find myself to believe it.  But that wasn?t the
only thing that was bugging me.  There was something?wait, I take that
back, someone on my mind that I couldn?t seem to get around.  He was the
star of 99% of my late night jerk off fantasies.  ?He who?? you ask?  His
name was Jason Rathman.  The quarterback of the football team, President of
Student Council, captain for the basketball team and most popular guy in
the junior class and possibly in school.  I was slipping deeper into my
daydream when my phone rang and snapped me out of it.
      ?Oh great? I thought to my self.
      ?Hello?? I said, finally wanting to answer.
      ?JOHNNY!!? Olivia shrieked.
      ?Whoa, not so much pep now, chica.? I said, laughing.
      ?Sorry, I guess I am excited because it?s the first day and I haven?t
seen you all summer.? She said sheepishly.
      ?Que pasa?? I asked.  With as many Spanish classes we?ve taken the
past two years, we kinda got stuck on it.  I?m not Hispanic or Latino or
anything.  Olivia was though.
      ?Ay, nada.  I can?t seem to find anything to wear.?
      ?Maybe you should try to be smart for once and plan ahead.? I joked.
      ?You?re such a bitch.? She retorted, trying to hold back a laugh.


      Olivia and I are so close that we finish each others sentences, and
practically live at each others houses.  She?s like the little sister that
I?ve always wanted.
      ?Have you bugged Damien yet??
      ?Nope.?
      ?Well, hurry up and do it while I get ready.?
      ?Ok, I can?t wait to get to school, who knows, we may run into
JASON.? She teased.
      I blushed as soon as she mentioned him.
      ?Gee, I was totally calm until you brought that up? I whined.
      ?Don?t act like as if you don?t have the hots for him.?
      ?Come on chica, we both know he?s bone straight and that I am
completely out of my league.?
      ?I know, I?m just teasing honey.? She said with a bit of guilt in her
voice.
      ?It?s okay, hey I gotta get ready, I?ll see you in about half an
hour?
      ?Okie dokie, bye!?
      ?Bye? I said and hung up.


      I hurried off and jumped in the shower.  I finished ten minutes later
feeling refreshed.  I headed to my room thinking of what I was gonna throw
on.  I decided to take my chances and try to get noticed by someone.  I on
a tight wife beater, faded blue jeans that had rips and holes practically
all over, a pyramid studded belt


      As soon as I was done with getting ready, my doorbell rang and Olivia
and Damien were standing there excited like a kid in a candy store.  I was
out the door thanks to them pulling me by my arms, feeling like they were
gonna rip them off.  This was it, another year.  Another lonely year....So
I thought?..

Well that?s chapter 1.  Things will progress more in the next two chapters.
I promise.  If you have any comments or suggestions, feel free to email me
at johnnymas1288@rocketmail.com.

Thanks!!