Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2000 08:02:31 -0500
From: TJ <BiDadWriter@Yahoo.com>
Subject: Love For A Lifetime, Chapter 12

Disclaimers: The following is a work of fiction. Meaning, that, the people
and events are not real, and never happened, except in my mind.  All the
other usual stuff applies.  If you shouldn't be here, don't read it.  If
you don't like it, why are you here?  Comments appreciated, flames deleted.

____________________________________________________________________________


"Timmy, I don't know or understand how this happened, but I just had sex
with Liz."  Jim said.

"You Bastard!"  Timmy shouted as his fist connected with Jim's jaw.  Jim
fell to the ground, overtaken by blackness.

There were so many emotions running through Timmy that his head was
spinning.  He couldn't believe that Jim had just admitted to having slept
with Liz.  He couldn't believe that Jim would do such a thing.  He couldn't
believe that he had just hit the most important person in the world to him.
But, Jim had broken Tim's trust. In Tim's mind, Jim had broken their vows,
he had made a mockery of everything that Tim cared about.  Tim had to get
away, he had to leave.

Tim went back into the house, put the stuff he was in the process of
unpacking back into his suitcase and headed out the door.

Jim was getting up and saw Tim coming.  "Timmy, please...talk to me!" he
was crying really hard.

"Jim, I need time to think, and I'm not going to be able to do that with
you around."

"Where are you going to go?"

"I don't know.  I'll call you in a couple of days.  Just, don't try to find
me, don't try to call me.  Don't mess with me for a while."

"Timmy, please...I don't know what happened.  It was like I wasn't even in
control of myself, like I was drugged or something."

"Jim, right now, I don't want to hear anything else.  I'm mad, I'm hurt,
I'm confused...just, move your car, and let me go."

"Timmy, please...I love you.  I need you..."

Jim's crying really was getting to Tim.

"Jim, I apologize for hitting you a minute ago..."

"I deserved it."

"No, that was wrong of me.  I don't know where that came from, but it was
wrong."

Jim tried to say something again but Tim stopped him, "Dammit Jim, just get
your car out of my way.  I'm not going to apologize for being upset that my
life's partner, the person I love more than anything in the world, comes
home and tells me he just slept with someone else.  Just get out of the
way, and leave me the hell alone.  I need some time to myself.  You owe me
that."

Tim threw his suitcase in the back of his car, and cranked it.  He put the
car in reverse, and started backing up.  Jim slowly got into his car,
backed out of Tim's way and Tim drove off.

Jim parked his car, went back into the house, fell onto the couch and cried
himself to sleep.

__________________________________________________________________________________

When I pulled out of the driveway, I had no idea where I was going to go.
It was after midnight, and I didn't want to wake anybody up, so, I checked
in at a local dive, just to get a good night's sleep.  I'd figure out what
to do the next morning.

Sleep didn't come easy for me that night.  Jim's words kept ringing in my
ears...all of his words, not just his confession, but the part about not
being in control of himself.  That made me curious, and mad at the same
time.  How could he not have been in control of himself.  Jim never was a
big drinker, and too much alcohol makes him sleepy, not horny, so I didn't
think that the alcohol took away his control.  Different thoughts kept
running through my head until I finally fell asleep.

I woke up Saturday morning feeling completely out of sorts.  It took a
couple of minutes to figure out where I was, and why.  As soon as I got my
wits about me, I called Steve.

He answered after two rings.

"Hello?"

"Steve, this is Tim."

"Hey Tim!  How in the world are you?"

"Um, not good Steve.  Look, are you going to be home today?"

"Yeah, bud.  What's the matter?"

"I need a place to stay for a while."

"WHAT?" I could hear the shock in his voice.

"I'll explain it when I get there.  If Jim calls looking for me, you
haven't heard from me, ok?"

"I don't know Timmy..."

"Steve, I'll explain everything when I get there, ok?"

"Ok, man.  Be safe.  I'll be looking for you."

I got my stuff together, checked out, and drove to Steve and Marcs.  Steve
was waiting for me at the door, and I could tell by the look on his face
that he had talked to Jim already.

As soon as I walked in the door, he pulled me into a big hug and said, "Oh,
Timmy, man.  I'm so, so sorry."

I held onto Steve, and just cried and cried.  We stood there for a very
long time, both of us crying actually.  Finally, when I had no more tears,
he told me, "Jimmy called five minutes after you hung up.  He told me
everything.  He said he was able to tell me things that he didn't get the
chance to tell you about what had happened."

"Right now, Steve, I don't want to hear it.  I've got too much on me to
deal with this.  I've got my CPA exam in a week and a half, and this mess
with Jimmy...I..I just can't deal with him right now.  I love him, I need
him, but I don't know how I feel about this.  Maybe that's being selfish,
but, how would you feel if Marc came home and told you that he slept with a
woman?"

"I'd be hurt, for sure.  But, I would hope that the love we share would
help me to stop and listen to what he had to say.  Maybe there's more to
what's going on than meets the eye."

"He said he couldn't control himself.  I just don't buy that.  He's always
been able to put me off if he wanted to."

"But you love him, and respect him.  Apparently, Liz doesn't.  To hear
Jimmy talk, she all but raped him."

"I didn't wait to hear the dirty details," I said as I hung my head.

"He said that he felt weird, that he got super horny for no reason, and
that she came out of the bedroom wearing next to nothing, and when he tried
to get up to leave, she pretty much forced a big kiss on him.  If you were
already horny, having been away from the man you love for four weeks, and
somebody started kissing you hard, what would happen to your dick?"

"I'd probably get hard."

"Yeah, you probably would.  Then he said that she grabbed his dick, and
before he had a chance to react, she had it pulled out and down her
throat."

"I really don't want to hear this," I told him.

"Too bad, my friend.  You're my friend, and so is Jimmy.  When he told me
what happened, I knew in my heart that something about all of this just
smells.  I can't say what it is, but I think that, somehow, Liz set him up.
I know she took advantage of him."

"Why do you say that?"

"Talk to Jimmy, man.  Let him tell you.  Listen to his voice when he tells
you what happened.  I think he was leveling with me, and I think that he's
really innocent."

"Innocent?  He had sex with her!"

"But I really believe it was against his will."

"Why?"

"I'm not going to tell you.  The only way you're going to find out is to
talk to Jimmy."

"It hurts, Steve.  Even to think about talking to him."

"I know, Timmy.  But, babe, it will be the best thing you can do.  You may
save your marriage, and isn't it worth a little pain to save it?"

"Yes"

"Then go home.  Listen to him.  Talk to him.  Try to work this out.  If you
can't, you know you're welcome to stay here as long as you need."

"Thanks, Steve."

"Timmy?"

"Yeah?"

He took me in his arms, kissed me on the cheek and said, "You are one my
closest friends in life.  Without you and Jimmy, Marc and I wouldn't have
what we have today.  I owe you a bunch.  I love you, Timmy."

"I love you, too, Steve.  Thanks for the advice.  I'll call you later."

"OK, man."

I picked up my suitcase, and headed back out the door.  The drive to
Carrboro was about thirty minutes, and I made it longer, taking my time.  I
wasn't sure I really wanted to hear the 'nitty-gritty' details about my
partner having sex with another person, but, Steve's advice made sense.
And, I don't think Steve would have lied about being suspicious about Liz.
Something about her always made me a little nervous.

About forty-five minutes after I left Scott and Marc's, I pulled back into
my driveway.  As I walked up to the door, Jimmy was there, waiting for me.
He looked like shit warmed over, and I'm being kind.  I could tell he had
been crying, and he looked scared of me.

"I talked to Steve," I said.  "He said I should hear you out."

"Thank you, Timmy."

"I guess it's the least I can do."

I went inside, and we went to the kitchen.

"You want some coffee?" Jimmy asked.

"No, I'll get something in a bit."

"Oh. OK." he said.  He was really being careful around me.  That made me
feel powerful, and sad and hurt all at the same time.  I loved this man.
He was my life, my inspiration, and, at the moment, the biggest source of
pain I had ever felt.

"Timmy, I want you to know that I did not set out to have sex with Liz."

"I know that, Jimmy.  I just don't understand why you let it happen.
That's all."

I wanted to ask him that if he loved me so much, why did he let it happen.
Was he tired of me?  Did he want out of our relationship?  But, I didn't
say any of that.  I was here to listen.  I might talk later, but I was way
too emotional to talk.  In retrospect, that's probably good, because I
would have probably said something that would have made the situation
worse.  Sometimes, God helps us, and we don't even know it.

Jimmy started at the beginning, and related the whole story.  He graciously
omitted the graphic parts, but he related the whole incident , right up to
the minute he walked out the door, including how the comments I had been
making had made him feel.

"Timmy, I swear to you, I didn't want that to happen.  I never had feelings
for Liz, and I don't think it was just my emotions."

"Steve said he thought was fishy about the whole thing, and not from your
perspective.  So, Liz has had the hots for you since day one," I mused,
more to myself than to Jimmy.

"I was surprised by that myself," Jimmy said.  "I guess I'm just stupid for
not seeing it."

"No, Jimmy, I think the reason you didn't see it is because you were in
love with me."

"Timmy, can you ever forgive me?" he was on the verge of tears again.

"I forgive you, Jimmy.  I'm sorry that I hit you, and I'm sorry that my
words were callus and unfeeling.  I'm sorry I hurt you with my words.  And
I'm more sorry that I didn't give you the chance to explain in the first
place.  Will you forgive me?"

"Yes, baby!" he said, as he jumped up out of his chair, came over to my
chair, put his arms around my waist and laid his head on my chest.

"I love you so much, Timmy.  I cried all the way home last night.  I
couldn't believe what I had allowed to happen.  And the really sad thing
is, there's no way to prove anything about what Liz did to me."

"I know, baby.  I know.  But, somehow, I'm sure that Liz will get what's
coming to her."

"I just hope I'm around to see it.  Oh my gosh!  I wonder if she's said
anything to Mike or Gary?"

"Perhaps you'd better call them," I said.

"I'd rather help you unpack."

"Why?"

"Two reasons.  Number one, because I'm so happy that you're back home, and
number two, because I don't want to let you out of my sight."

"I'm not going anywhere, baby."

"I don't care.  I almost lost you last night.  I'm not willing to let you
out of my sight for a while.  OK?"

I stood up, and pulled him into a hug.  I loved this man.  The more I
thought about what had happened, the more I agreed with Steve.  Something
fishy was going on, but I had no idea how to prove anything.

We stood there in the kitchen for quite a while, just hugging.  I could
feel Jimmy sobbing, and I felt the tears on my cheek.  I finally pulled
back, took his head in my hands and said, "Baby, stop crying.  I believe
you that you didn't cheat on me, ok?  You don't need to cry anymore, ok?  I
forgave you, you forgave me, we're ok, ok?"

"I know," he sniffed, "but it scares me that I almost lost you."

"Look at me, baby."  He did.  "I love you, James Lee Parson.  I committed
myself to you before, and I'm reminding both of us of that promise.  I
promise you, I will not allow myself to walk out in anger ever again.  I
promise not to leave you, but to stay and work through whatever comes out
way.  I was wrong to leave you, and I promise to not ever do that again.
OK?"

"OK, baby.  And I promise you the same thing.  I love you, Timmy.  I don't
ever want anything like this to happen again.  This has really hurt me,
because I know I hurt you, and you hurt me.  I don't like this."

"Jimmy, baby, this is probably not the right time, but will you make love
to me?"

"You WANT me?" he asked, incredulously.

"More than anything.  When I was on site, all I could think of was coming
home and having you in me.  And now, in light of everything that has
happened in the past twenty-four hours, I need you, and want you more than
everything."

I started removing his shirt, and tee shirt.  He started pulling my shirt
off of me.  He started to lead me back to the bedroom, but I stopped him
and said, "No baby, I want you here, now," and I undid his pants and
started pulling them down.

"I still have her on me," he said.  "Can I go wash that off?"

"No." I said.

"I'm not making love to you with her on me," he said.

"I know.  You can't wash it off.  I will.  It's the least I can do for
you."

I led him over to the kitchen sink.  I took a couple of paper towels, wet
them, soaped them up, and cleaned him, then rinsed him off.

"All better now?" I asked, as I leaned over and kissed the head of his
dick.

"No, but give me a minute..." he responded.

I laid down on the kitchen floor, and lifted my legs.  Jim got a handful of
the hand cream we keep beside the kitchen sink, and lubed himself up.
Normally we don't use lube, but, I think he felt better having something
on.

He gently pushed into me, to the hilt.  I wrapped my legs around my mate,
pulled his face to mine and kissed him for all I was worth.  He slowly
started pulling out, and pushing in, hitting my prostate and sending waves
of pleasure throughout my body every time he sank into me.

"Oh, God, Jimmy...I've missed you, baby!"

"I've missed you, too, my love."

He continued to make love to me on the kitchen floor, taking care to
pleasure me as much as he was being pleasured.  Every time the thought of
him having been with Liz tried to pop into my head, I'd kiss him, and let
his mind blowing kiss remove all thoughts from my head.

He fucked me for close to an hour, each of us cumming twice.  The second
time we both came, he was sucking my dick, bringing us both off at the same
time, my orgasm triggering his.

We lay there in the aftermath, holding each other, and loving each other.
We looked into each other's eyes, and I could see his love for me, and I
know he could see my love for him.

This had not been an easy situation to deal with.  On top of what happened
with Jimmy and Liz, I had hit him.  I would spend the next two years in
counseling, finding out why, and dealing with it.  Apparently, I had some
serious repressed anger from when Jimmy had been attacked that I had never
dealt with, and that was the major, but not the only reason I had hit him.
He went with me to a lot of these sessions, supporting me, and learning to
help me.

Jimmy, I just want you to know that after almost 19 years, I love you more
today than when we first discovered our love.  You are my best friend, my
lover, my companion, and the co-father of our children.  Thank you for a
wonderful life.  Here's to the future, my love...I love you.

____________________________________________________________________________

Well, that's it for now.  But, don't fret, chapter 13 will answer some of
the questions that have not yet been answered.  Just so you know, so you
can prepare yourselves, chapter 14 will be the final chapter of this story.
Thanks to all of you who, over the life of this story have written in.
Without your encouragement, and prodding, I wouldn't have gotten this far.
As always, your comments are encouraged, your flames will be sent to hell,
where they belong.

Love to you all,
TJ