Date: Sun, 1 Jan 2012 09:56:11 -0800 (PST)
From: Ryan White <ryanstories@yahoo.com>
Subject: Love or Lust chapter 1

Hey friends! Happy New Year!

Just like with my Christmas story, I have another one here especially for
the new year. Since I haven't seen my family in almost 5 years since my dad
kicked me out for being gay, I have found a new family in my Nifty friends
and readers. I love you all.

Hope you enjoy this one, since it is a little different than what I usually
write.

If u wanna chat to me, talk to me about the story or shit like that, feel
free to mail me on ryanstories@yahoo.com Im proud to say that I always
reply to all my emails!

Or you can follow me on Twitter under my name RyanMpenduloi

Luv,
Ryan

Love or Lust

*1995 - Cape Town, South Africa*

"Ohhh my gosh!!! Take this thing out of me!!!"

The screams that radiated from Tanya Meyer was making the nurses swore that
they were going to lose their hearing. There was massive complications with
her pregnancy and the supposedly proud daddy to be was no where in
sight. Tanya kept pushing and screaming, until finally, the gynocologist
could see the head of the of the tiny, fragile little creature.

"Okay, Tanya, I need you to be calm, you're doing a great job, now just
push a little harder...there I can see his little head! Come on, Tanya,
you're strong, you can do this!"

Tanya pushed with all her might, the last little bit of strength that she
had left, until she heard the crying voice of a little baby.

"Tanya, you did it! Its a boy! Its a beautiful baby boy!" the doctor
shouted happily and immediately gave him to the nurses to dry him up and
cover him in blankets. Tanya was exhausted, and needed attending to. She
smiled wearily up at the doctor, but even he knew that he did not need to
tell her that something had gone horribly wrong. Suddenly, she lurched
foward and clutched her stomach, while gasping for breath, while looking up
frantically at the doctor with wild eyes.

"Its happening again! I dont understand, my little boy is already born, why
does it still hurt this much?" she screamed in utter agony. The
gynocologist quickly did his work underneath in the vaginal area, and could
not believe what he had discovered. He came up towards Tanya's face and
looked straight into her eyes.

"Tanya, there is a another baby inside your womb. My God, you're having
twins."

Tanya smiled, but she knew that it was too late, for her and for her unborn
child. She peacefully laid back unto the pillow, and closed her eyes. The
doctor, sencing what was about to happen, quickly told the nurse to give
Tanya her baby boy. Carefully, not to let his little head snap, they placed
him on Tanya's chest. Immediately she opened her eyes and stared down at
her son that she carried for an incredible 10 months. She always knew that
there was a reason for the prolonged pregnancy, and the doctors warned her
that she might not survive in giving birth. But the young mom of 16 did not
listen, even if she did not survive, she would be able to give her child
what she never had. A home, a family, and a better life than she ever had
on the streets of Cape Town. Her little boy, that was lying so peacefully
on her chest, would never knew that his father was shockingly a 12 year old
boy, himself still a child, when a cold night in winter on the Cape Flats,
turned into something much more serious. But her heart ached for his twin
brother, that she knew had to be still born. There had to be something she
could give him aswell... She smiled and looked up at the doctor, cuddling
the small, fragile body close to her heart.

"His name...will be Ryan..." she managed to whisper before she took her
last breath. As if in a vision, she felt her spirit being ripped from her
body, but she also saw the spirit of her unborn baby boy. Suddenly a bright
white light shone radiantly over them, and she heard a deep, angelic voice.

"Tanya, you gave your life in trying to save your son, Ryan. You knew that
there would be complications, and yet still you did not abort him, like so
many other young mothers would have done. Therefore, I am giving a new
life, a new soul to your unborn child. Since a new life will be created,
your boy would not be identical to Ryan, his biological twin brother. Your
life on this Earth is over for now, but your spirit will live on in both of
your sons. There is a condition though, that, if you successfully complete
it, you would be allowed to return to Earth. Welcome to Heaven, Tanya."

Tanya closed her eyes and smiled. God was good, God was life. Her boys
would be taken care of, more than she ever could...as she awaited to hear
what needed to be done in order for her to return to her boys one day...



*2011 - Cape Town, South Africa*



"Ryan here, catch!"

Ryan ran towards the ball flying through air and caught it with
precision. He quickly used his tall, slender body to duck and dive though
the defenders before overlapping the final one standing in his way and
plunging to the ground, scoring the try for his Highschool. He managed to
stand up and get to his feet before he was overwhelmed by the rest of his
teammates. He was the school's star player afterall in his age group. The
final whistle of the game sounded and they had won. Ryan was patted on the
back and hugged by his teammates before running over to his parents. Both
his mom and dad had huge smiles on their faces.

"Ryan dude! Im so freakin proud of you, buddy" his dad screamed as he
picked up his son and hugged him fiercely. Where other 16 year old boys
would have been embarrassed to let his teammates and friends see it, he was
proud to show everyone his dad and his mom at that, who was just 28
themselves and sure as hell didn't look like it. When he finally was let
lose, he gently embraced his mom, kissing her on the cheek. She was always
so scared that Ryan would get a injury while playing Rugby that could do
major damage, but there was no stopping Ryan's love for the game.

"Ok, alright! Pizza at Panarotti's tonight! Ryan, go and take a shower,
buddy. You fucking stink!" his dad joked.

"Matthew! Were not at home now!" his mom shrieked.

"Come on, Liliana. Can't I be happy for my boy? Star player on the Rugby
field, getting good grades and a friendly kid, not to mention sexy as
hell!" Matthew bragged, lifting up Ryan's shirt to display his six pack
abs. Ryan smiled cheekily at his dad, there was this bromance between them
that no other of his friends had with their fathers. He loved his dad, but
they were also the best of friends. Afterall, Matthew was just 12 years
older than him. Ryan knew that he was an adopted child after his mom died
giving birth to him 16 years ago. The first couple to took him in treated
him very badly. They tended to forget they had a little boy in the house
when they started to throw cups and saucers at eachother. The neighbours
alerted the Social Services and Ryan was immediately taken away from them
when he was just 5 years old. From then until he was 10 years of age, he
was moved from the one foster home to another, never staying in one place
long enough to make any kind of friends. Then, finally one day after his
10th birthday, he was called in by the matron and given the news that there
was a young couple, who had just gotten married, who was willing to take
him. They had the choice between Ryan and another boy and they picked him,
since he was older and didn't need stuff like potty training or shit like
that. Since then his life had turned from bad to fantastic. He loved
Matthew and Lilliana, as he was told to call them from the start, since
they were only 12 years older than him. Ryan finally got his wish and
stayed in a school long enough to make some decent friends, and the little
boy who wanting nothing more in his kindred heart than to have a family,
finally got his wish. Still, he could never shake the feeling and need to
wanting to get to know his biological family. Yeah, he loved Matthew and
Lilliana incredibely, but there was always some part of him wanting to know
where he came from, especially since he turned 16. He didnt have the guts
to tell his adopted parents of his need, and they never questioned or
pushed the fact, knowing and believing that he would come to them, if
something was bothering him.

As Ryan walked into the lockerroom, he once more got a hero's reception. He
walked over to his best friend, Mark, who was already underneath the
shower, and busying washing his hair. Now as Ryan undressed, he got that
funny feeling in the pit of his ripped abdomen as he always did when he was
near Mark. He knew that he wasn't gay or anything, but Mark was always
making him feel so...warm and fuzzy all over. But God knows, the lockerroom
containing a highschool Rugby team was not the place to be thinking
thoughts like that.

"Dude, you're the fucking shit! When you caught that ball and started to
race down the field, I seriously thought someone stuck a battery in your
ass. There was just no way you was gonna be stopped!" Mark said
energetically, while wiping the access shampoo out of his eyes. Ryan tried
his best not to stare at his best friend abs and stomach muscles.

"Fuck you Mark. You didn't say that when I banged your mom last night!"

"Oh that does it, come here, you piece of shit!" Mark laughed and started
to tickle Ryan. He knew that was the maybe the one weakness that Ryan
had. Ryan screamed and scrambled to get lose and in the heat of the moment,
slipped on the slippery shower tiles. Mark luckily saw this and quickly
stood his ground to catch Ryan.

"Holy fuck, buddy! Are you ok" Mark asked, all the playing and fooling
around suddenly forgotten.

"Yeah Mark, thanks for catching me. Fuck, I might have broken my neck there
if you hadn't!" Ryan said, fully aware that Mark's arms was still around
him. He looked up into the eyes of his best buddy, but knew it was
impossible. God didn't make them more straight and into girls than he did
Mark.

"Well, yeah I gotta finish. The rests are taking me out tonight to
celebrate," he quickly told Mark, to cover up his almost embarrassing
mistake.

"Be glad, dude. The most that my dad gets to spending time with me, is when
he pays money into my account," Mark said quietly. Mark's dad was a
Marketing Salesman, and that meant he was seldom at home. Mark understood
that his dad, as a single parent had to work and make sacrifices to keep
them living, but he wished that his dad was home more often. His mom died
last year due to cancer and since then, his father had buried himself in
his work, to be able to keep the household afloat. Ryan once more felt that
aching pain in his heart for Mark, which always made him wanna take Mark in
his arms and hold him. That was not what boys should be doing to one
another, but his heart wanted and yearned for it. Mark was done with his
shower and got dressed, as Ryan sighed. Things would have been so much
better if he found himself a girlfriend and then he could force himself to
forget about these feelings for his friend. He felt the water starting to
cascade down onto his body while he soaped up his hair, wishing with all
his might that he could tell Mark how he felt about him.

Mark was tying his shoes and waited for Ryan to finish his shower, when he
felt a sudden, strange pang of pain in his chest area. He sat up quickly,
scared to death that he was having a heart attack or something, but it went
by as quickly as it came. He took a couple of deep breaths before resuming
in tying his laces. He blinked his eyes a couple of times, but he could
have sworn he saw a young, attractive woman slipping out of the
lockerroom. Without bothering to put his shirt on, he raced outside to
confront her. What was she doing spying on them? When he got outside, his
young, muscled chest was heaving up and down as he frantically searched for
the woman, but she was gone. When he returned to the lockerroom, he saw
that Ryan was halfway dressed and he, still a bit shaken, returned to his
sportsbag.

"We gotta be careful in here, buddy. I just saw a woman sneaking peaks at
us in here."

"What? Damn, then she must have gotten an eyeful of your small package,"
Ryan said slyly. He loved to tease Mark about his smaller than average
dick.

"Fuck you, Ryan. Damn dude, I would love to fuck my father up good and
proper for giving me this baby dick. I mean, what's the point of working
hard to get this rockin body, and then the girls takes off your boxers and
your small dick stares back at them?" Mark said woefully.

"Well, I hear some girls like smaller dicks. Easier to suck on and not so
hurtful when you fuck them for the first time."

"Like you would know, Virgin Boy."

Ryan laughed and they left the lockerroom. They got into Mark's car and
drove to Ryan's house where Mark dropped him off. Ryan so wanted to kiss
Mark goodbye, but...what the fuck could you do? He was a boy, and Mark was
a boy. Fucked up world. He suddenly wondered why God created something such
as homosexuality. He sighed, said good bye to his best buddy and walked
into the house. That night was awesome. They each ordered their own
pizzabase, to which they could choose their own toppings. Ryan chose
cheese, salami, pepperoni, pepperdew, green peppers, chili's, bacon and
avocado. He loved all the spicy things on his pizza when he slathered it
with garlic when it was ready to eat. As Ryan took a chunk of bite from his
third slice of pizza, and just got ready to wash it down with his
bottomless Coke, he saw a woman, dressed in white sitting by one of the
tables looking straight at him. Now normally he would just have looked away
when it normally happened sometimes, but she was giving his a intence stare
that started to scare him just a little. Somehow he forced his eyes off her
as his mother started to ask him a question. When he looked back in that
direction after a while, the woman was gone.

That night, Ryan brushed his teeth to get rid of all that garlic he ate. It
was delicious when eaten, but afterwards it was a bitch on the breath. He
took off his white wifebeater that he was wearing and got into bed. Just
has he wanted to turn on his DVD player, he heard a knock on his door,
followed by his father's face around it.

"Hey buddy, just came to check if your alright. You were very quiet at
dinner and there after. Everything ok?"

"Yeah Matthew, I'm fine. It was just this woman who kept staring at me
while we were at Panarotti's and it kinda freaked me out."

Matthew walked over to his adopted son and sat down on the bed. He reached
out and ran his hands through the sixteen year old's hair.

"You forget, it wasn't that long ago that I was your age, dude. There is
something else bothering you, I can tell. I've raised you since you were 10
years old, and I know you. Come on, Ryan! You know you can tell me
anything," Matthew said while caressing the back of Ryan's neck. Ryan
enjoyed this so much, the loving attention that he got from his adopted
father, but was scared to tell him about the feelings he had for Mark. Then
again, Matthew wasn't like any other dad he had ever known. Ryan took a
deep breath and decided to take a chance.

"Okay, there is this...person at school, and everything about them makes me
feel...how do I say this...so good and warm, like I wanna be with them all
the time. This person is so fucking sexy and beautiful, but the thing
is...we're also close friends. If they don't feel the same way that I do,
and I strongly doubt that, I'll fucking lose their friendship! Matthew, I
don't know what the hell to do! Why must life be like this?"

Matthew moved up from the edge of the bed until he was sitting right next
to Ryan. He placed his arms around the teenager and pulled him closer. He
knew what he was about to say would require some skill, or he would end up
hurting Ryan, and he loved his boy way too much for that.

"You're in love with Mark, aren't you?"

Ryan's head turned towards Matthew so fast that he actually felt a sharp
pain in his neck, but he couldn't be minded. How the fuck did his dad know?
But before he could say anything, the latter stopped him.

"Dude, don't say anything. I can see that you have feelings for Mark, and
I've seen it for a long time. And...you wanna know why I can see it?
Because I'm gay aswell, buddy."

"You're WHAT?" Ryan shouted.

"Ssshhh...stay calm. Don't worry, Lilliana knows that I'm gay...and so is
she. I think its time that we have a little talk. We were both twenty-two
years old, and we both knew that there was no way we would ever have kids
of our own if we chose to live our lives the way we wanted to. I was into
dudes, and Lilliana is still a lesbian to this day."

Ryan was trying very hard to understand all this information, but slowly
but surely started to see it for what it was. He always wondered why
Matthew and Lilliana never had any children of their own. They were
twenty-two when they adopted him, and had 6 years to have sex to pop out
one of their own, and still they hadn't.

"I know its a lot for you to understand, we wanted to keep it secret for
you until you turn 18, but mentally I think you are mature enough to
understand. We loved you since the first day we saw you, Ryan. When the
matron and social worker told us what you had to go through before, we knew
we had to take you, as we could give you a better life."

"Matthew...yeah man this is a lot to cope with, but in a way...I'm
glad. Because you know now what I'm going through. I don't know if you
could call it love, but I do know that I wanna be with him and think about
him all the time. But, fuck!!! There is no way that he would like me that
way I do him. Matthew, you should see him with the girls. There is just no
way."

Matthew pulled his adopted son closer to him and kissed his forehead,
closing his eyes as he did so. He loved his son, and for the first time, he
wanted to show him how much. He pulled away and looked deep into Ryan's
eyes.

"You're beautiful, buddy. I love you so much..." he whispered before
leaning in to kiss Ryan tenderly on the lips. Ryan was so shocked, but at
the same time so turned on aswell, but this was his father! The fact that
they were only 12 years apart helped the sheer weirdness of the
situation. But, he was a 16 year old horny boy, and Matthew, although his
adopted father, was a fucking sexy man. Ryan rubbed Matthew's back as the
older man started to kiss his way down Ryan's rock hard teenage six
pack. He had to do a double take when Matthew reached down and took off his
boxers, allowing Ryan's stiff and fuck 7.5 inch cock slap against his
muscled teenage chest. Matthew took the hard organ in his hand and started
to toss the cock off slowly, watching the cockhead appear and dissapear
over and underneath the foreskin. Matthew wanted to show Ryan how he loved
him. He kissed Ryan again and then shoved him back onto the bed. He leaned
down and took the strong cock into his mouth. Ryan's young body lurched
upwards due to sheer emotion running through him, making it even more of a
turn on that his father was doing this. Matthew sucked the whole tasty dick
down his throat, while he slid his lips all the way back up, letting the
glistering cock pop out of his mouth. He looked up into Ryan's eyes and
then started to really do a job on his 16 year old cock. Ryan had wanted to
cum ever since Matthew kissed him but this not even he can control. Ryan
grabbed Matthew's hair and felt his balls draw up against his groin, before
blasting his young sperm into the man that adopted him 6 years ago. Matthew
swallowed over and over, before he could just not keep up with the torrent
of sperm that his son was giving him, watching Ryan slump his limp body
against the bed, and breathing heavily at that. Matthew willed the sperm
down his throat, and then pulled his son upwards and embraced him.

"Im sorry, buddy. I wanted to do that ever since you had hit puberty. But I
always said...it would be a one time thing, never again. I love you,
Ryan. I love you so fucking much, as if you were my own flesh and
blood. What happened here tonight, was to show how much I love you, and
that you can trust me with anything. You understand, buddy?"

Ryan nodded, as he felt the afterglow of his first ever blowjob decend on
him.

"I know Matthew. You gave me my life back six years ago. Im glad we did
this...truth be told I always fancied you, until I started feeling this way
about Mark."

Matthew pulled away and held his adopted son's face in his hands.

"Then you go for it. I want you to be happy. Tell Mark how you feel, and if
he then rejects you, he was never a real friend to begin with. Whatever
happens, there is someone out there, who is gonna be just perfect for you."

And as his father, the man he saw more as a brother, hugged him tightly
again, at that moment, Ryan knew that everything would turn out alright. He
would have been less amazed if he knew that he was being watched. And
outside Ryan's bedroom, a beautiful woman, dressed in white, turned around
and walked away slowly.



Thanks for reading! What was the deal that Tanya made with Angel Gabriel to
return to Earth 16 years ago? What happened to Ryan's twin brother, to whom
Tanya gave her soul to live on? And who is this woman watching both Ryan
and Mark?

This is the first chapter in this 4 part mini series. I really hope you
guys like it. Please tell me what you think of the this chapter by sending
a email to me at ryanstories@yahoo.com I will reply to every one I
get. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Ryan White xxx