Date: Wed, 29 Sep 2010 22:13:04 -0700 (PDT)
From: Nan Valenzuela <phoenixlight@ymail.com>
Subject: Loving You 13

Disclaimer: Same as before in the other chapters.

Loving You
...and yet so bitter...

"How many fingers do you see?" The doctor asked as he moved two fingers
close to my face.

"Two." My head was still hurting but not as much as it was before. It could
have been the medicine he gave me though.

"Good how is the head?"

"Getting better."

He wrote stuff down on his note pad and took out a small flashlight. "Let
me check your vision." He looked into my eyes and gave a little
frown. "Your eyes are a little dilated."

"Is that bad?" The pain in my head was numbing.

"It means the medicine is working..." He put the stethoscope on my chest
and I breathed for him. "Good. Everything else seems fine. Just take a few
days off from school and take theses pills." He handed me a bottle with a
few pills. "If the headaches start take one per day, they will make you
sleepy also." I nodded.  "Call or come back if you start losing your
vision."

"Okay." I waved to the doctor goodbye before I closed the door. I pinched
my nose and took a deep breath. Shit. The headache was nothing but a simple
numb pounding.

"Are you okay dude?" I jumped a little bit by the sudden surprise. It was
Trevor and Lucy.

Lucy had a worried look on her face while Trevor had a small smile on his
face.  Jerk.

"Yeah just some headaches. Also me needing to take some pills." I started
walking down the hall, they fallowed soon after. Trevor and Lucy were part
of the lunch group. My rescuers.

"Thank goodness you scared us half to death." Lucy let out a sigh and
patted me on the back.

"We saw how you decked Alex there little dude and that was damn," Trevor
gave me a little wink. "When you started running we decided to see how you
where doing.  Good thing to huh?"

I gave a little nod. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he got up and walked away holding his stomach."

"Okay." Even though he was a jerk, I still didn't wanna hurt him that bad.

"Nate are you okay?" I looked up from the floor and immediately felt
embarrassed when dad ran to me and gave me a bear hug.

"Yeah..." I hugged him back and practically forced him off me. "How did you
know I was here?"

"I took your phone and called him." Lucy gave a little smile.

I told dad what happened. The whole Alex incident too. Apparently I was
unconscious for a few hours and by that time dad was sorting out my
insurance information. When I woke up Trevor and Lucy where waiting for me
to wake up to get the doctor.


After saying my goodbyes to my friends, dad and me drove home. I wish it
was silent but dad was getting weird on me. Telling how proud of me for
fighting back and yada yada. When we got home I went straight to my room
and laid on the bed. I didn't want to think about hitting Alex.

I opened my eyes and scowled at the ceiling. I checked my cell phone for
the time and smiled a little. There was about twenty text messages and
almost as many missed calls.

The texts where mostly 'call me' 'are you okay?' 'Nate where are you' and
other things. They where from Mary, Chris, Zack, Jake, and Mike. I would
give them a message but since it was three in the morning I doubted they
wanted to be woken up.

My head was clear. No headaches or numbness.

"You deserve this and so much worse. Just like the rest of your kind." I
repeated the words my old teacher told me once. All the puzzle pieces where
found and put together to make a disgusting picture. "However you are in a
place where you belong." I told myself. That was my only consolation.

He was there and I was here.

So I might not know everything but I did know I knew everything that was
important. I sat down on my desk and found a unused notebook. Hopefully if
I wrote everything down I wont forget. When I was done I place the book
back on my desk and decided for another nap.

"Nate are you hungry?" I felt someone poking my face. I opened my eyes and
gave a little smile to my dad. "Good morning sleeping beauty."

"Morning," I looked at my nightstand and wasn't surprised that it said
twelve pm. "Afternoon."

"Hows the head?" Dad sat on the bed and touched my forehead. I bit my
tongue, I was going to say I didn't have a fever.

"Good, aren't you suppose to be at work?" I sat up on the bed and stretched
a little. Rex jumped on the bed and started playing with my legs.

"My baby was sick, so I took the day off." He messed with my hair and
picked up Rex. He still hadn't remembered the dangers of doing that.

"I'm-" I was going to say not your baby but why bother? "Dad don't carry-
now I gotta wash my sheets...." Rex relieved himself all over my dad and my
sheets.  Nice.


After dad took a shower, Rex going outside, and me washing my sheets. Dad
and I decided to play some video games, and I got my ass handed to me every
time.

"So you don't wanna talk about it?" Dad asked out of nowhere.

"Talk about what?"

"Mike."

How did he know? "Mary told me what happened. So that I could be there for
support."

"Whats to talk about?" Aside from the fact Mike dumped me for unresolved
feelings I am experiencing.

"Not sure." Dad paused the game and rubbed my head. When he did that a pain
started making its way through my head. Damn.

"Dad... pills..." I closed my eyes and rubbed my temple. Damn, I was seeing
flashes of things go past my head again.


"Here." Dad shoved the pill in my mouth and placed a cup on my lips. I
drank the water and swallowed.

After a few minutes of pain it started numbing.

"Getting better?" I nodded. He led me to the couch and as soon as I touched
the pillow I started feeling drowsy. The doctor was right about sleepy.

"I'm sorry you can't see him now, he is resting." I heard dad say to
someone through my semi dream state.

"Really? Damn. Why is he sick?" It was a girls voice but I couldn't tell
who it was.

"The hit he got gave him a mild concussion. So for the next few days he
will have headaches." Dad explained. However he didn't know that the
headaches where also for another reason.

"How serious?" A male voice this time.

"Its not that serious. He just has to take some pills to numb the
pain. They make him sleep through it though."

"I see..." Another male voice. How many people where there? "Oh hi there
pup remember me?" I could hear Rex's excited barks and whimpers. Apparently
whoever it was, Rex remembered. "That's a good boy!"

Yeah a pee on every one who carries him aside from me good boy.

"Well give him this when he wakes up okay?" Another male voice, seriously
how many people?

"Oh and make sure to tell him to call us too!" This time a female voice but
not from before.

"Okay I'll do that. Goodbye." He closed the door after they left and he
walked off somewhere. Somehow his steps made me sleepy again.

I gave a little yawn and stretched. I looked around, empty. I made my way
into the kitchen and poured myself some orange juice. Halfway through
drinking it dad walked in.

"Finally awake huh?"

"How long have I been asleep?"

He checked his watch. "Around five hours or so," I nodded. "Your friends
came by. They left something for you. Its in your room right now."

"Oh okay," I let out another yawn. Damn that pill was strong. I was still
drowsy.

"Hungry?"

I nodded.

"Pizza?" I shook my head. "Burgers?"

"Bingo!"

"Okay be back in a bit." Dad rubbed my head and left. He popped his head
through the door. "Make sure to call your friends!" And he closed the door
again.

Right call friends. So who to call first? I pressed a number out of nowhere
and dialed. The lucky person who won was. Jake. Wow.

Three rings in and he answered. "Nate?"

"Hi Jake." I stifled a yawn.

"Dude you scared the shit out of everyone you know? How are you?"

"Tired. You?" I leaned on the counter.

"Driving home."

"No talking on the phone while driving Jake." It was very dangerous.

"Who gives a damn?"

"I do so call you later okay?"

"Sure, visit you tomorrow okay?"

If I was awake. "Sure."

I walked into the living room and jump on the couch. Rex made his way over
and laid on my lap. Another yawn passed my lips and I pressed another
random button.  This time before I dialed I looked at it. Mary.

She answered on the first ring. "Nate! How are you? Are you okay? Nothing
wrong?"

Wow. All the question involved the same thing. "Fine. Yes. No."

"Wait one second!" Like I had a choice. She put me on hold as soon as she
could.

"Nate! Jeez spazzing out in the street."

I laughed. I should have known she would have called Angie. Both of them
where becoming very good friends. "I didn't spazzed out. I just got a
really bad headache."

The three of us talked for awhile. Apparently I had become a little popular
for taking down Alex. Some saw him and me in our little scuffle. Which made
me angry, seeing as no one helped me. Seeing as how I took down a guy
around twice my size made people rethink me. I was known as the 'Saint
Warrior'.

"Did you see what we gave you?" Angie asked out.

"Not, yet."

"Well do since you might like it."

"I'll go-"

Dad walked in with a bag of food.

"Check it out later."

After we ate I took a little nap. No pills just a nap since even though I
was sleeping a little while ago I felt drained.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them again I was somewhere else.

I lifted my hands but chains made it almost impossible. I gave a little
howl of pain when the chain crushed my hand. The collar on my neck
scratched my chin as I lowered my head. Death was all round me. Just the
matter of time before it would happen.


I still had hope someone would rescue me. Right?

I heard the door start to open. Fear coursed through my body as it slowly
opened. Davis walked in the room and placed a small black box on the
table. He pressed a button and soon it started making sounds.

"How about if your son was a faggot what would you do?" Davis' voice came
out of the little box.

"Kill him of course. What the use of having one for a son? They just try to
rape children and other sane people into believing they are
normal. Contaminating the pure people." Dad's voice came out. It sounded a
little strange but still.

"You sure? Even if it was Nate?"

"Id kill him with my own two hands if he was like that. Be better dead then
alive."

"Even your baby?"

"Fuck if he is my baby I'll kill him. No way do I want one in my family or
having my blood. Making it filthy and tainted."

"So haven't done it yet why?"

"He ain't queer."

"Oh haven't you heard?"

"Heard what?"

Davis pressed another button and the sounds stopped.

"Two weeks together and you still seem to have hope." Davis played with the
keys in his hand. "No one is looking for you so why do you still live? You
heard your fathers voice."

I heard it. He wanted me to.

"You are worthless trash. No one wants you, needs you. Just useless." He
stepped on my hand and kneeled down before me. "You deserve this and so
much worse. Just like the rest of your kind." He slapped me across the
face.

I moved my head to the side.

"You still have a little fight in you don't you?"

"Chris..." I knew it was useless but I just had to say his voice. Even
though he was one of the reasons I was here.

"He won't come for you. Two weeks and you are already considered dead."
Davis walked towards the lamp and took out a needle. "This will make it a
reality." I didn't want to die.


Davis started walking towards me slowly. I felt empty. So this was the way
I was going to die?


Out of nowhere someone jumped down making Davis turn around. "What the-" He
fell to the ground with a thump and I watched as a small trickle of blood
flowed out of his head.

Chris... I couldn't believe it. I saw the look of disgust on his
face. Probably wanted to finish the job himself. But why did he hit Davis?

"I'm so sorry..." When he reached for me I cringed into my corner. I waited
for him to hit me but it never came.

I had to say something. "Please.... don't... touch... me..." I didn't want
him to. Not to contaminate him anymore.

"Please forgive me I shouldn't have..." I saw him come closer.

"Get away from me!!!" I yelled out. Even though it hurt I didn't want him
to hurt me or for him to be tainted by me. I started crying, I wanted to be
held but I couldn't. It just hurt so much. I buried myself into my little
corner wall.

"Nate please..." When he started coming closer, I cried more. Why can't he
stay away?


He took my tainted hand in his. It felt so right. But it was so wrong. "I
love you.... so much. I'm so sorry..."

I tried to take my hand away. He shouldn't be tainted by me. "How can you
say that to me..."

"Because I really do...." He paused for a second. "I am such a failure
aren't I?" He wasn't the failure I was. A human failure.

I looked up and saw that he was looking at out hands. "I... love..."
You... I felt myself drift into darkness.

I woke up with a start. So that was what happened the last night I was with
Davis, I remembered the things before but never how I got out. I held my
head and heard when someone made their way into the living room. That
someone could only be one person. My murderer.


"Oh you are away how are you." Dad came close to me and looked into my
eyes.

"Murderer...." I whispered, I started shivering.

"What?"

"You wanted to kill me!" I pushed Dad to the ground and started walking
back.

"I did not!" He shook his head and slowly started making his way towards
me.  Like I was some dangerous animal.

"You told Davis that if you had a faggot son you would want to kill him
with your own hands. Since I would rape children's minds..." His face
started realizing the fact that I remembered. "You hit me. Slapped me. Even
said that you would kill me with your own hands."

"Nate please you don't understand. I..." He stopped walking. His eyes
started to glisten. "I was stupid for saying those things. More so for
laying my hands on my baby."

"I am not your baby... Someone would not want to kill their baby..." I
started walking faster. They all wanted me dead. Dad. Alex. Davis. "Do you
want that?"

"No it was just stupid what I said."

"You told me I was filth, nothing but a broken man. If Greg wasn't there
would you have continued?"

"Davis told me and I just lost it. I was drunk and..."

"You weren't drunk when you hit me..."

"Nate please... it was all my fault but please understand that I know
better now..."

"Do you.. understand... your broken... filthy... rapist of a gay son?" Each
word seemed to make him falter. They where his words only used against him.

"Please understand that was then and-"

"This is now... you wanted me dead. I'll do that for you now..." I turned
around and ran into the bathroom. Slammed the door shut and locked it. I
stared at the door.


"Nate please open the door!" Dad pounded on the door.

I reached into the cabinet and took out a small little blade.

"Don't do it I'm sorry..." It sounded like he was crying.

I stared at the blade in my hands. It would be so simple to end it all
now. My past would be gone and I wouldn't have to have those memories in my
head. Just when I touched the blade to my wrist a little voice spoke out.

Why?

Stupid question. To erase all the crap that happened to me. The beatings,
humiliation, sadness, and heartache.

"Please... Open the door..."

So death would be the answer?

I just don't want to hurt anymore. My eyes started watering.

The past is the past. It can't change, but the future can. Whatever you
want it to be.


I was crazy. Having a conversation with myself.

"Please... don't... don't..." He started sobbing.

Do you want him to have all that power over you? Even now? What happened to
that fiery spirit?


I chuckled. Where was it now.

"I love you son. Please forgive me..."

"Forgive me for being tainted." I was about to slice when the door busted
open and my dad rushed in the bathroom. He swiped the blade from my hand,
not caring that it cut him and bleed.

He pulled me into his chest and held me tight. "Don't... please don't. If
you die... I will lose what I have to live for."

"But-" He cut me off.

"Nothing. You are here now with all sorts of people in your life who love
you and want to take care of you. People would die for you. Yet you want to
kill yourself? The man who said those words to you, about you is dead. The
man who hit you is trying his best to give you anything you want."

I felt his heart beating just above my head.

"Just be who you want to be. Me and all your other love ones will be there
with you. You don't have to shelter everything by yourself anymore."

I finally started crying. I knew it was true. I just needed conformation.

"Talk to me.. don't hold it in."

He stopped crying when I began. He was the support I needed. Wanted. I told
him every single detail and he listened. He helped me sort my issues. Sure
it took a few hours but it was necessary. Something that would make us a
better. I told him that I would tell him if it got to much for me. He
tossed therapy but I shot it down.

(The next day.)

"So you remember everything...." Mary bit her lip and looked over to the
side.  "When?"

"Awhile ago..." Little by little.

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Dad."

She nodded. "Then why do you look so happy?"

"I have part of my old self back." The one who defended himself and let
himself have fun.

"That's good since I don't want you being all fragile again."

Being scared of the world was not going to be me again. Not sticking up for
myself, not opening up to my friends, and thinking I was nothing but a
burden.  Nobody is a burden.

"Everyone is fragile."

"Yeah but with you sometimes its like... you are a stained glass window?"

"Yeah but not anymore...." I smiled. "Can you do me a favor?" I tied the
bag I was holding.

"What?" Her eyebrow rose.


"Oh my god." Mary had this weird look on her face.

"What?"

"You look different."

"How?"

My hair was shorter, about shoulder length and layered, also it had more
highlights in it. I let my button shirt show off my new belly button
ring. Jeans that had some feather designs all over them. My pendent was
hanging out with its new star shaped companion. I stuck out my tongue to
show off my tongue ring.  (Both rings where out of impulse. I blame the ice
cream sundaes.)


"Hot."

"Should I put on the vest?"

She nodded, so I did. "Even better. So what is going to happen to your old
clothes?"

"Their all gone. Whats the point of blending in when you can show off
right?" I gave her a little wink. Not that I was actually going to show
off. I still liked blending into my surroundings. It was senior year, so I
was going to me a little more adventurous.


"Finally where have you been?" She pushed open the store doors and started
walking. "But knowing you, you won't show off like me." I nodded. "As long
as all those baggy clothes are gone I'm happy." The bag I had earlier had
all my clothes that I deemed to be to odd.

"Not sure but lets not find out okay?" She nodded. "So off to the park?"

"Going to go boy hunting?"

"Mary!"

"Well... any one in mind?"

I chuckled. There was two people in mind. Even though I was still lost in
my head. I still wanted to be with them in some way. "Yes but I don't know
how long they would wait till I find out..." I bit my lip

"Nate they would wait forever for you. More so now...." She took another
look at me. "So two become one huh?" She wrapped her arm around mine.

"Best of-"

"Nothing of that! I'm still not sure how that works though."

I sighed this was about the fifth time I was going to explain to her. "My
old memories are back. So in retrospect my old personality. But I'm also
the way I am before you know? There wasn't much difference aside from the
shyness and bubbles."

"Uhuh."

"Its like everything I am afraid off is disappearing. I'm breaking from
what I was before. Like I see life in a new way you know?" Not being scared
of people as I used to be. Not everyone was out to get me.

"I think I do now. Epiphany right?"

"Why should I care what happened in the past as its in the past?" I started
walking slowly down the to her car. "I can't change it but I can change my
future." Dad was an example of that.

"So still going to be a smarty pants?"

"I'm a cool nerd now..." I stuck my tongue out at her. "Someone in the
group has to be smart."

"With a lisp..." She was right, I was having second thoughts about the
tongue ring but what could I do now? I had a minor lisp.

"So off to the picnic?" I got into the car and put on my seat belt.

"Yup." She smiled and gave me a little wink.


"Oh I hate you so much right now...." I tucked a strand of my hair behind
my ear. "You told me it was just going to be you, Angie, and me!"

Jake, Mike, Chris, Angie, and Zack were in a little section in the
park. Jake was doing something in the grill, Mike and Chris were tossing a
foot ball to each other, Angie was texting, and Zack was playing with
Rex. I didn't even know how he got into my house. Nor did I want to think
about it.

"Hey everyone look who is here..." Mary pushed me forward and I gave her a
little glare.

"Hey there baby!!!" Angie ran over and gave me a hug tackle. "Looking good
and sexy aren't you?" She wrapped her arms around my shoulder and kissed my
cheek.  "Not to mention tasty!"

I stuck out my tongue at her. "Don't be nasty..."

"Oh look at the shiny ball!!!" She looked over at the guys and pointed at
my mouth. I pinched her hip and she gave a little squeak. "What? I missed
you sooo much!"

"So wanna take my offer and have a little fun?" Zack walked over and gave
me a kiss on the lips.


"Bite me." I gave him a smile.

"If you want. Talk dirty to me baby!" I pushed him to the side and walked
with a clinging Angie on my side. "Hey!"

"Hey guys." I gave a little wave to Jake, Mike, and Chris. Each one was
staring at me weirdly. I bent down and scratched Rex's tummy.


"Are you guys going to stare at him? Or going to answer him back? Since I
could take a picture and give you copies if you want to stare at him." Mary
took Angie off me and sat down at the table.

Zack took my hand and lead me to the table, making me sit on his lap for
some reason. "Guess they want pictures. So hows the head Sexy?" He thrust
his hips and wrapped his arms around me before I got up.

"Fine, none today though. Get a boner and I kill you." He thrust his one
more time.

"Don't worry I'm not into you..." He got close to my face and licked my
cheek.  "Though you are tasty."

I pushed off him and slide to the side. "Eww..." I rubbed my face with a
napkin, I ignored the pout he gave me. "Never again only one thing can do
that to me and that's Rex right?" I picked up Rex and he started licking my
face.

"Nate so did you take your medicine?" Mike sat down in front of me and
smiled at me. I melted inside and wished I could kiss him.

I nodded. "Just only when I have a headache. Haven't though so not taking
them.  I do though when I get headaches."

"Good." He gave me a wink and offered me a bottle of water.

"So when did..." Chris sat next to Mary and moved his hand up and down.

"Awhile ago. He didn't finally decided to drop the whole baggy clothes,"
Mary got the bags of chips and started eating. "So he is finally going to
dress like a normal person and not like a fashion disaster.

"I liked it when his clothes were a little big. He looked cute," Angie put
her arm around me. "So going to in the committee for gay prom?" She put on
her puppy dog expression.

"Not again with that crap! How many people are you going to ask?" Jake
flipped a few burgers. He gave me a nod and wink.

"Well I still need people! Twenty people is not enough. Plus more than half
of those people are straight. So how would it be if straight people did gay
prom?  Kinda makes the purpose null in void."

"I'll join."

"YES!" Angie wrapped her arms around me and started bouncing up and down.

I thought it was going to be extremely awkward with the fact that the two
guys I loved where at the same place. With me. Close vicinity. However I
was wrong, they still were buddy buddy and even tossed the ball to each
other.

"Want another hamburger?" Jake walked over and offered me another
burger. Zack was taking a nap on the tree with Rex. Mike and Chris were
tossing the football.  Mary and Angie were off getting ice cream. I hoped
for me too.

"Sure!" I took a bite and gave a little moan. "You sure know how to make a
good burger."

He waved it off. "Lots of practice so I wanted to ask you something."

I rose my eyebrow as I took another bite.

"Want to go out on a date with me?"

I choked on the bite. Jake patted my back and it slowly when down my
throat.

"Maybe I shouldn't have asked when you where eating."

You think? I took a drink of water. Fuck I mean crap. "Like a date date?" I
swallowed. Please no.

"I know you just broke up with Mike a little while ago but will you?" His
eyes pleaded with me. I nodded. "Great! How about Saturday? Seeing as
yesterday I wanted to see you alone and I couldn't." I nodded again, not
trusting my voice.  "Around five good for you?"

"It would be great." I hopped it wouldn't and I felt bad.

He gave me a smile and went back to the grill. Shit. I didn't even think he
rolled that way.

"Hows the burger?" Mike walked over and sat down.

"Really good you should get one..." He reached over and took mine. "Jake
can you make burger another one for Nate? He eats like a pig?" He gave me a
wink and took a bite of the burger. "Not bad."

"I'm not a pig..." Jake handed me another burger and I made sure it was
faraway from Mike.

"I know you are not more like a cute little rabbit..."

"Now you calling me fat?" Rabbits did get pretty big when they ate
sometimes.

"No no... You are just cute how about that? Pigs aren't." Mike bit his
lower lip and scratched his head.

"Thanks then..." I blushed and took a bite of my new burger.

"I was wondering about something." He gave a little smile.

"What?"

"Wanna go out on a date with me?"

Wait. Pause. Rewind. Play. "But I thought you wanted to go on a break."
Dammit that just had to get out of my mouth. I should have said yes not
question him.

"I know but we can go out on a date and not be a couple," He reached over
and touched my cheek. "I still want to be with you."


I blushed and he rubbed my cheek. "Okay... when?"

"Saturday. Just a little bit after eight. How does that sound?" At least
that gave me some time after the date with Jake.


I blushed more when his fingers touched my lips. "Good..." The blush must
have been darker, since to me it sounded a little like a moan.

"Great..." He put his fingers to his lips. Great sound like a little growl
and I shivered. "See you then sweetness." He got up gave me a wink and went
back to Chris.

A ice cream cone appeared right before my face. "Here you go baby." Mary
handed me the cone.

"Thanks." I gave it a like and smiled. YES! Cookies and cream.

"So what did mister ex tell you? Since it seemed a little naughty...."
Angie sat in front of me and tilted her head to the side.

"He asked me out on a date." I took another small lick.

"Really?" Mary sat close to me and Angie leaned forward. Guess not to let
the other guys hear. "But I thought you said that he wanted to give you
free space to think. So you could think clearly."

"He must have, but when I told him about Jake wanting to ask you out he
must have not wanted to."

"You knew?" I gave her a little glare.

"Jake asked you out?" Mary leaned in closer.

"Guess he did. So I take it you said yes."

"You did?" Mary looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I nodded.

"But what I'm thinking is that he wants to be in the loop. Alpha male
syndrome."

"What do you mean Alpha male syndrome?" I looked at Mary but she gave a
shrug.

"Just wait...." She gave me a smile and winked. She pointed right behind
her and made a quiet sign.

Mary and I looked at Chris and Mike. Chris tossed Mike the ball but it was
a very long pass. It went over his head and landed somewhere from my
vision.

"Sorry Mike..." Chris rubbed the back of his head and gave a little smile.

"It's cool I'll go get it..." Mike turned and I think I saw him look over
at the table for a second before running off.

Just when Mike disappeared Chris started jogging over to us. "Just wait and
see...." Angie whispered before Chris could reach the table.

"Hey guys can I barrow Nate for a second?" Angie and Mary both nodded,
Angie smiled while Mary had a confused look on her face.

I got up and fallowed Chris a little bit away from the table. "You wanted
some-" Chris put his fingers on my lips stopping me.

"Can you go out with me today?"

"But-" He pressed his fingers harder on my lips.

"I know you are thinking a lot right now but I want to show you how good I
can be with you..." His eyes pleaded and my heart sank. "Please?"

"Okay. What time?"

"Like an hour and a half after we leave from the park okay?" I
nodded. Chris leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Later... Baby..."

He walked away before he jogged back to were he and Mike where playing.

When I sat down Angie's smile grew wider. Mary was still confused as was I.

"Alpha male syndrome is when one or more alpha's try to out due the other
males.  Make sure they are the top of something or have
something. Asserting themselves to everyone else that what is there's is
and only is theirs. Nate here has made three Alpha males react to him. In
appearance and in heart. When one found out about the other wanting to
claim another everything else doesn't matter."

"So that means..." I rose an eyebrow.

"Jake told me... I told Mike... Mike must have told Chris.... So now they
all want you to themselves. Even though Mike wants you to think. He, just
like every other guy, doesn't want the person they like to go out with
someone else."

"So both Mike and Chris want to be in the loop. Asking Nate out so one
won't have leverage over the other?"

"Exactly!" Angie gave a smile when Mary and I bother said Oh. "Sometimes
the best way to figure out something is when you have it all around you..."

"Angie did you do something?" Mary raised and eyebrow and leaned in
close. "To make the guys ask out Nate."

"Maybe..." Angie got up. "But I'm not saying anything." She zipped her lips
and walked over to Zack and Rex.

"ANGIE!!!" Both Mary and me yelled. Everyone in the vicinity of us stared
at us.  Let me just say that two people shrunk down and one started
laughing loudly.


Mary and I went to my house to get me ready for my date. She told me that
she had knew what Chris liked. Even though I told her I could handle it
myself.

"I will not be dressed as a slut...."

"Why? Its just short shorts and a tight shirt...." Mary pouted.

"Those shorts will let my ass stick out and each time I move in that shirt
I show skin." I frowned.

She rose her eyebrow like I missed something.

"No...."

"But-"

"No..." I crossed my arms.

"But he likes asses and yours he loves the most..." She pouted.

"I don't even want to know how you know that..." I didn't like the memory
of them dating.

"Like I said before we dated just because it was convenient. I had a crush
on him and he wanted to stop loving you..." She played with the shirt in
her hands.  "Both things turned out to be a disaster."

"How?" I sat down on the bed.

"I grew to love him and he never stopped loving you. Then after awhile I
just couldn't love him anymore. I finally understood where I standed. Good
thing also since I...." She blushed.

"Do you like someone else?" She nodded. "Who?"

"I won't tell you yet until I'm sure okay?" I nodded. "Okay... How about
the the skinny jeans and the white T-shirt? The skinnies will show off your
ass and the white shirt will fit snug and not show off anything. How about
that?"

"Sure..." I dug inside the bad and found the shirt, tossed me the jeans. I
changed and started fixing the shirt.

"Wow its the first time you didn't tell me to leave while you changed."

I shrugged and started putting on my shoes.

"You need to get a tan..." Mary got a hair brush and started fixing my
hair.

"Why?"

"You got baby skin."

"Isn't that suppose to be good?"

"But its all pale..." She pouted.

"I like it..." I got up and sprayed a vanilla scented spray over me. Sure
it was a girls perfume but I liked it.

"Fine..." She dug into a bag and took out a collar.

"No..." I knew what she was thinking.

"Why? It would make you look hotter and it had a little bell." She rang the
little bell. Like that would make it better.

"Didn't you say I was hot already?"

"That was before now I want you to be kinky hot."

"Kinky hot? I don't do kink."

"Like saying you want to be controlled.... Makes alpha males hot..." She
put the collar around my neck. "See hot."

I would have taken it off but I did like it. A little bit.

"He likes handcuffs by the way."

"TMI..." Not to mention I didn't want to know his past relationship with
her.

"Yeah yeah...."

There was a knock at the door. "Nate Chris is here..." Dad opened the door
slightly and looked in. "You look good." He eyes the collar.

"Go get him! I'll wait here with daddy!" Mary gave me a little push and I
went out the door.

"Going out on date with Chris?" I nodded. "Giving him a shot?" I nodded
again.  "I would day something fatherly but I already know him. So be back
in before ten." I nodded again. I kissed his cheek and went down the
stairs.

I practically swallowed my tongue. Chris looked... hot. Black jeans that
fit him nicely, black shirt that made his muscles visible, leather jacket,
and his hair spikier almost looked like flames. When I walked down the
stares his eyes were intense.

"Hi.." I walked over to him and blushed. His eyes were like all over me,
hungrily.

"Hi... Baby..." He reached over and touched the little bell. He leaned over
and kissed my cheek.

"Guys have fun okay?" I looked back and saw Dad and Mary smiling. I blushed
harder when Chris took my hand in his and strolled out the door.

"Are you sure you want to hold my hand in public?" I asked as we made our
way to his car.

"Why wouldn't I?" He raised his eyebrow in confusion.

"Since you are going out with a guy..." I bit my lip when I let go of his
hand and entered the car.

He walked over to his side and buckled up. "I don't give a fuck whoever
sees me.  I just care that I'm with you."

"Even if..."

"I don't care what fucken people say. They can eat shit for all I care." He
smiled and drove.

"So where are we going?"

"You will see... Put this on..." He handed me a blindfold.

"Really?" He nodded and I put it on. We talked a little bit as he drove. I
wanted to see were we where going but he didn't give me any details.

"Did you eat anything since the picnic?"

"No."

"Good. Wait here for a minute." I nodded. I heard his door close and the
trunk open. I crushed the slight fear going through my body. I jumped a
little when I heard the trunk close.

After a few minutes the side of my door opened and I felt Chris hand on
mine.  "Trust me okay?" I nodded. "Good baby." We walked for a bit and he
took the blindfolds off. "Sure its not as fancy as a restaurant but still."
He rubbed the back of his head.

I smiled. It was picnic table, covered with a white tablecloth, a lit white
candle, and a little basket. "Its nice." I leaned up and kissed Chris on
the cheek.

He blushed and rubbed his head a little more. "Thanks. I did my best for
the food..." He sat me down on a bench and walked over to the other
side. He reached into the basket and took out to covered plates. He put one
in front of me and the other on his side. He put two wine glasses down and
took out a bottle. "Its apple cider not wine don't worry. I don't want you
drunk again." He gave me a wink and i blushed.

So in middle school, Chris and I went into his dad's wine cabinet and drank
a bottle. Or two. Then we were drunk and I was loopy.

He put the cider on our cups and uncovered the plate. Chicken Alfredo my
favorite. It had bread, little tomatoes, and a heart shaped parsley
heart. I smiled. "Wow thank you..."

"Your welcome. Took me awhile to make it.." He blushed and sat down. "Hurry
and eat, there's somewhere else I want to take you." He gave me a smile and
started eating.

We talked as the candle flickered. It was nice and romantic. He even risked
getting burned to kiss some sauce from my lips. After we finished he packed
the things back into the basket and held my hand back to the car.

I noticed that there was a lot of cars in the area we where in. After
putting the things back in the trunk I tried to get into the car but it was
still locked. Before I could ask he took my hand and lead me to some other
place.

We walked into a large field where other people were laying down on
blankets watching a silent movie. The guy at the booth looked at our
intertwined hands.  Chris squeezed when I tried to take my hand away. "Two
tickets please." The guy nodded and gave Chris the tickets, after he paid
of course.

I tried taking my hand away when we started walking past people. Some I
noticed from school giving me weird looks. I tried harder but Chris kept
his grip.


"Wait here I have to go get something..." I leaned against a tree and he
walked away. Thankfully the people who stared were looking back at the
movie.


'The Thing'... I shivered. That thing gave me nightmares.

"Okay I hope you don't mind scary movies." Chris put a blanket down on the
floor and sat down. Taking my hand and bringing me down between his open
legs.

Occasionally throughout the film he brought me closer to his body, played
with my hand, kissed it also, and not to mention kissing my cheek. It was
nice and calm, and each time I got scared he held me close. Letting me put
my head between his shoulders.

The drive back was quiet and he held my hand as he drove. When he stopped
he hurried out of the car and opened the door for me and lead me to the
door. I blushed, this was pretty nice.

"Had a nice time?" He asked when I unlocked the door and turned around.

"Yes. Nice time since a while back."

"That's good to hear..." He let go of my hands and looked into my eyes.

I smiled.

Chris put his hands on my face and looked into my eyes. "Thanks for giving
me a shot. Maybe I can get another?" Before I could answer he leaned down
and captured my lips. He slowly pushed me to the door and started moving
his lips.

I was debating whether or not to open my lips, but his tongue made that
decision for me. It went past my lips and started playing with mine. I
wrapped my arms around his waist, just out of nowhere. One of his hands
went down my body and went to my hip. He nipped on my lower lip and kissed
it gently.

I let out a little moan as he pressed his body against mine. The cold door
behind me and his warm body in front. I gave a little whimper as his lips
left mine and cupped my chin. "Not so bad... Better than I expected."

I made a little squeak when he got my lower lip between his teeth. My face
heated up and pulled my lip back.

"See you later..." He kissed me one more time. "Baby..." He slowly took his
hand off my chin and walked back to his car.

I put my hand to my lips. Damn. The places where his hands were at wanted
him back. He gave me a smile and a wave when he drove off.

Shit. He just had to make it worse didn't he? I closed the door behind me.

"How was the date?" Dad asked as soon as I went into the kitchen.

"Great."

Then tomorrow I had two dates. One with Jake and then Mike. Mike's date
would be the hardest. Two guys I loved. Only one to choose. How the hell
was I suppose to think when each of them called to me?

"Something came for you in the mail," Mary walked into the room and looked
at a strange box. "Weird that it came just a little while ago..."

*******************************************************************************
^^ The major plot begins now. Two for his heart. This story is coming close
to an end. Maybe like six or seven chapters and its done. ^^ So... Any
ideas on how Mike's date should go? Throw ideas at me! Jake's date is
already in my head.  Also I would be doing a little time skips also just to
warn you. It's part of the plot and nothing important will be missed just
school. Even though it is important, just not for this story.

Comments? Questions? Concerns? Ideas? Give me a shot out!

()()
(^^)

Rabbits rule, and you know it. ^^
Also Nan is a pename just for your fyi.