Date: Wed, 4 Aug 2004 21:45:51 EDT
From: ICONvsICON@aol.com
Subject: Marcus and Kyle #4

Marcus and Kyle
By Christian Mitchell
Copyright 2004.  All Rights Reserved.

Chapter Four

    My mother was sitting at the kitchen table when I entered the house.  She
glanced up from the cookbook she was looking at and smiled at me.  "Did you
have a good time?"
    "Yeah," I smiled.
    "You ate, right?"
    "Yeah, we had pizza," I replied.  "I'll be working out overtime at the
gym tomorrow."
    "When don't you?" she asked.  "And you're too skinny as it is."
    "I am not," I protested.  "I've been trying to keep my body fat down to a
minimum.  Plus, I weigh one hundred and sixty-five pounds, thank you very
much."
    She smiled.  "My son, the bodybuilder."
    I simply shrugged my shoulders because I didn't have a response for her.
"I'm going to take a quick shower then I'll be back down."
    "Alright."

When I returned to the kitchen I was happy to see that she was still the only
one in the room.  I sat down in the chair next to her.  "So... you said that
you wanted to talk to me."
    She situated herself in the chair so that she was facing me.  "Well,
honey.  I was curious about your relationship with Kyle.  Because when I woke you
guys up on Sunday morning I was surprised by the condition the two of you were
in when I walked into the room."
    I nodded.
    "I don't want to embarrass you.  You can tell me anything.  If you don't
feel like talking about it now, that's fine.  But I was wondering if you and
Kyle are lovers."
    Wow, mom certainly didn't waste any time getting to the point.  I smiled
and scratched my earlobe.  "Um," I paused.  I wasn't sure about what I wanted
to say. I could not resist the urge to laugh, so I allowed a loud hoot to
escape my lips.  "For some reason, that question sounds really funny to me."
    My mother's smile and eyes widened.  "Well, I'm happy to see that you're
not upset with me for asking."
    "I don't know what to say to you," I replied.  "I don't know if we're
lovers or not.  If you asked me on Sunday I would have said no.  Tonight, I
guess, I can sort of say yes, we are lovers.  But, you know what," I chuckled
again.  "I'm sorry, it sounds so silly to me."  I looked her in the eye and
repeated the word I never thought I would associate with Kyle.  "Lover."
    She situated herself in her seat more comfortably.  "Okay, let's try this
again.  Are you and Kyle having sex?"
    I glanced at the kitchen table, taking notice of shine of the wood.  I
returned my gaze to my mother.  I decided that I would pretty much tell her
everything.  Fuck it.  She wanted to know and I was going to just let the
sentences fly.
    "Saturday night after the party, when Kyle and I went to my room, he
kissed me.  At first, I thought it was kind of weird.  Suddenly my best friend in
the whole world was kissing me, you know?  And I didn't know what to think of
it, but I also didn't mind.  Something told me that it was okay, that there
was no need for me to be freaked out by it.  Plus, it felt right.  Normal, I
guess you could say.  In the back of my mind I kind of felt like he was trying to
seduce me.  But I also felt like I wanted him to.  It just seemed like
something that we wanted to do to get off, not like we were suddenly screaming
homosexuals or anything."
    "So the two of you had intercourse?"
    I hesitated to answer because I was trying to determine how many details
I wanted my mother to know about.
    "That's a yes," she smiled.  "You experimented sexually with Kyle.
That's fine.  It's healthy.  It's not much of a surprise, really.  If there's any
one person that I would have imagined you experimenting with, it was Kyle."
    All the thoughts I had at that particular moment came to a screeching
halt.  "You thought I was gay all along?"
    She waved her hand in a dismissive manner.  "No."
    "Oh, okay, because I was beginning to wonder if I've been acting gay."
    "Don't be silly.  People don't act gay.  They are or they aren't gay.
That's all there is to it.  Everyone acts differently than the person next to
him or her does.  It's what gives us personality and individualism."
    "True, but I'm not gay.  I never thought of myself as being gay.  Ever."
    "Really?"
    "No.  Why, you have?"
    She grinned.  "Well, no.  Actually that thought never crossed my mind
until Sunday morning.  That's why it was a surprise to me.  Had I thought you
were gay, then finding the two of you in bed together naked wouldn't have been
the least bit astounding."
    "Kyle and I just had a long talk before I walked in the house.  He told
me how much he cared about me, how much he loved me.  I told him how much I
loved him.  And I do love him.  He's my best friend.  I know I'm only eighteen
years old, but I don't think I will ever have a friend like Kyle.  My whole life
could pass and never again have someone like Kyle in it."
    "Yes, I've always known that the two of you were very close."
    "Because having sex with Kyle felt natural, I've thought about what it
would be like if he and I were actually dating.  It's also the love and respect
that we have for each other.  I think we're going to give it a try... a
relationship, I guess you could say.  And I know it may be a bit of a surprise to hear
that, but I think I want that right now."
    "And that's what Kyle wants too?" she asked.
    "Yes."
    "What about Ashley?"
    "They're not dating anymore," I answered, becoming somewhat uneasy in my
seat.  It had just dawned me that I was the cause of their breakup.
    "The two of you are going to be a couple?  Open and honest about it with
your friends?"
    "We haven't discussed all of that yet."
    She sighed.  "Honey, be careful.  You and Kyle need to take it slowly at
first.  This is a big change in your lives.  And it will be a big change for
your friends, too.  Obviously, I don't know your friends as well as you do.
Yet, it's possible that some of them will not be quite as understanding and
embracing of all this."
    "Yeah, I know," I replied.  I suddenly felt like I had a huge weight on
my shoulders.  I hadn't taken the time to fully analyze everything.  What would
my friends think?  Would Tyler, Brandon and Paul remain friendly or would
they want to kick our asses?  "Well, we do have a couple gay friends," I said.
    "You do?  Who?"
    "Roger," I stressed, emphasizing his name because she knew who he was.
    "Oh, that's right.  I forgot."
    "So maybe it won't be difficult to be open and honest with our friends."
I walked to the kitchen counter and grabbed a bottle of water.  I kept my
supply of water out in the open because I liked it at room temperature.
    "Marcus, the difference is that Roger has always been gay.  Your friends
have always thought of you and Kyle as straight.  Trust me, there will be some
adjustment on someone's part."
I nodded in agreement.
"I have some advice for you.  I think you and Kyle should talk about this
some more and determine how you would like to handle the situation at hand.  Be
prepared for the possibilities of what you may be faced with once you and Kyle
tell your friends that you are a couple."
    "Of course."
    "You suddenly look somewhat worried."
    "I haven't thought about everyone and the reactions we might receive," I
replied.  "You're right.  Kyle and I need to talk about this more seriously
before we make any sort of announcement."
    "I'm not going to tell you what to do.  But, since you will be graduating
in about six weeks, maybe the two of you will decide to keep it under wraps
until then."
    "So you think we should just keep it to ourselves?"
    "I'm not telling you what to do.  I'm just airing another alternative.
Still, you would have to tell your friends at some point.  You're not going to
lose touch with all of them suddenly the day after graduation."
    "Okay," I sighed.  "Thanks for listening mom."
    "Thank you for taking the time to talk and be honest with me."
    "I do feel better, knowing that you are supportive of us.  I know all
this information probably hasn't completely settled in yet.  You probably still
need some time to digest it all."
    "Oh, I'm fine," she smiled.  "I've heard horrible stories about kids when
they come out to their parents.  Granted, you haven't told me that you are
gay... or even bi-sexual... but I love you, Marcus.  I want you to be happy and
successful with all things in life.  That's what I've always wanted for you and
it will never change.  I wish you happiness, health, love and success.  Always."
    I kissed her on the cheek.  "Thanks, mom.  I love you, too."
    She smiled and patted my hand before rising from the table.
    "What about dad?"
    "Oh, please," she smiled.  "Believe me, honey.  He wishes the best for
you.  I won't say anything to him.  You can talk to him when you're ready.  I'll
do it with you, if you want."
    "Okay."  I suddenly experienced a small amount of fear and worry.  In
case he became angry I thought it best that she drop hints first.  "You can
mention it to him, if you want.  And when he's ready to talk to me, then I'll be
ready."
    She caressed my cheek then ran her hand through my hair.  "Don't worry.
Everything will be fine."
    "Thanks," I smiled.
    "And Marcus, dear... it's about time that you trimmed this hair of yours."
    "Yeah, I know," I laughed.  "I'll do it this weekend."
    "Good," she beamed.  "I'm going to bed now.  Good night."
    "Good night."

    As I sat in my bedroom I couldn't help but think about the previous
forty-eight hours.  It seemed as if my life had completely changed since Saturday
night.  I felt like a different person.  On one hand I believed I understood
myself better, but I also felt like I was becoming acquainted with a stranger.
    Still, my mind was plagued with burning questions.  Was it possible that
I've been gay all along?  Maybe it took the advances of Kyle to stir my true
desire.  Perhaps I was actually bi-sexual and I just never knew it.  Could it
be that I've been unconsciously in love with Kyle?
    I knew that I was truly happier than I had been in a long time.  I
definitely had Kyle to thank for that.

    The following morning I woke up earlier than usual and got ready for
school.  I cooked my egg white omelet and prepared my bowl of bran cereal with soy
milk.  I sat down to eat the same thing I ate every morning.  Protein and
fiber.
    As I sipped my cup of coffee my dad walked into the kitchen.
    "Good morning," he greeted.
    "Good morning, dad," I smiled.
    "You're up early."
    "Yeah, I was wide awake at six o'clock.  I don't know why."
    He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.
"You seem to be in a really good mood, too."
    "Yeah, I guess I am," I beamed.
    "Does it have anything to do with the conversation you had with your
mother last night?"
    I was surprised by his question.  I wasn't expecting my mother to confide
in my father so quickly.  I couldn't blame her.  I'm sure she felt much more
at ease with the situation and needed to share that with her husband.
    "I guess so," I replied.
    "Good.  She told me that she had a wonderful talk with you.  I'm happy
about that.  She didn't give me all the details.  Obviously, you and I don't
have time to have a conversation right now.  But I'm behind you one hundred
percent, son."
    "Thanks, dad.  That's nice to know."
    "I know all of this is new to you... for your mother and me, too.  I never
would have predicted that you and Kyle would be romantically involved.  But,
I'm fine with it, as long as it's what you truly want."
    "You're not disappointed at all?"
    He pondered the thought for several seconds.  "Well, I've always
envisioned you with a beautiful blonde.  A business woman.  And maybe a few grandkids
for your mother and I to spoil."
    "Ah, c'mon, dad!" I protested.
    "Seriously.  But I'm also comfortable seeing you with a beautiful man.
One who will be mature and responsible.  And maybe we can still have a couple
grandkids to spoil."
    I responded," that's thinking way ahead into the future."
    "I know," he smiled.
    "Well, I'm happy to hear that you're not upset with me.  Ever since this
happened I've been scared of what you and mom might think of me.  What my
friends are going to think."
    "Marcus, you know this very well.  I probably don't need to say it.  If
you're friends are truly there for you, to support you and love you for who you
are... then there's nothing to be scared of.  If not..."
    "Then they're not really my friends anyway."
    "Exactly.  I knew you were smart enough to know that."
    "Well, I'm almost a high school graduate," I laughed.
    He shook his head in disbelief.  "Damn.  Time flies by so quickly."  He
placed his coffee cup in the sink.  Then he grabbed his car keys off the
counter as he crossed the room to the door.  "Have a good day, Marcus."
    "You, too."

    It was much easier talking to my parents than I thought it would be.  I
had convinced myself that my mother would burst into tears and that my dad
would have thrown me out of the house.  From the stories I've heard, it always
seemed to happen that way.  But I guess I should have given my parents credit for
actually living in the twenty-first century and now allowing narrow-minded
ideas to influence who they are as people.
    I hoped that my friends would be as open-minded as my parents were.  Of
course, once Kyle and I determined when we should tell them I would finally
discover whom my friends really were.  With the speed of how things had
progressed thus far I knew that the day would soon be upon us.
    It was just a matter of time before everyone we knew had knowledge of our
relationship.  Despite assurances otherwise, news travels fast.  I knew far
too well that eventually one of our friends would spread the word.
    I was convinced that the day was just around the corner.
    And of course I was right.