Date: Mon, 21 Nov 2011 02:50:43 -0500
From: Jesse Jesse <gmmac1987@hotmail.com>
Subject: Matthew, My Love Pt 9

	Drew jumped from the sleeping back, sending me rolling
unceremoniously along the ground in his wake. "Matt, I can...," but his
face was met by Matthew's fist. There was a sickening crack, and Drew's
nose began bleeding profusely. "Save it, you son of a bitch! I can't
believe you did this!" I found myself standing, drawing the sleeping bag
around my waist as I did. "Matthew, I'm afraid this can't all be blamed on
Drew. We were both drunk last night. If you're gonna be angry with him,
you'll have to be more angry at me." The cold look that met my words
quelled any other explanations I had. "Oh, you needn't worry. Angry isn't
the word. How could you do this? After all I've done for you, all my life's
been through, just for you, how could you fucking stab me in the back like
this?" Tears stung the corners of my eyes. I couldn't deny what he'd just
said. I had committed the ultimate betrayal. Even now in school, it was a
known thing that Matthew and I were in a serious relationship, whether
accepted or not. How could I have done this, when he'd given so much for
me? Here this selfless, loving young man had sacrificed his entire world as
he'd know it for me, only to have me and his best friend betray him. Within
just a few moments Matthew was packed and ready to leave. Drew and I asked
no questions; we merely followed his unspoken leading, and began packing
our own things. A few miles down from the trail brought us to a payphone,
and in just a couple of hours we were riding in the back of Matthew's
parents' car towards home. The ride home was quite and tense. Though he
didn't speak of anything that had happened to his parents, Matthew didn't
speak to me or Drew either. He sat against the door, obviously making every
possible attempt at distancing himself from us, half looking like a thunder
cloud, half looking like a wounded animal. Never had I wanted so badly to
reach out and comfort him, to do anything I could to ease his pain, but the
heart wrenching truth was that I had caused the pain. I was part of the
reason we all felt the way we did!

	Had I thought the ride home was misery, the next few days made that
time seem like a joyous vacation. For almost two weeks Matthew made every
attempt possible to avoid contact with me, going out of his way to stay
busy around the house, finding reasons to `go into town,' and even taking a
few trips with his old jock friends. Smiles across the dinner table were
ignored and shunned, efforts to take his hand or touch his hair were shoved
away. It was obvious that I was the last thing Matthew wanted. Finally
began the nights when he didn't come home at all. Though his parents had
never questioned, it was clear that they knew I had some influence as to
Matthew's behavior.  Finally one evening Robert came sidling into the
bedroom, his brow knitted seriously. "Alex, I need to ask you something."
My heart fell. I knew perfectly well what Robert planned to ask. "What's
happened between you and Matthew? It used to be that you were
inseparable. He talked about you so much that his mom and I wanted to tell
him to shut up. Now, after you guys came home, it's like he want's nothing
to do with you. What happened?" What little control I'd fought so hard to
grasp left me at those words. Try as I might to dissuade them, the sobs
came, wracking through my body uncontrollably. Tears streamed until my
entire shirt-front was wet. I couldn't believe the bittersweet relief I
felt at telling Matthew's father. Robert listened patiently as I explained
everything, making no comments and offering no looks of disdain. Only after
I'd completely finished, my body still jerking uncontrollably from sobs,
did Robert speak. "Alex, I'm not going to tell you what you've done was
wrong. You know that already. I'm also not gonna tell you that Matthew's
just gonna simply come through that door with his arms out for
you. Unfortunately, there are some hurts and pains that a simple `I'm
sorry' don't fix. They take time. Matthew's gonna have to work this
out. What I will tell you is that I know, beyond any shadow of doubt, that
Matthew love's you. It's as obvious as the sun shining in the sky. I see it
on his face when he look's at you, or in the way he put's his arm around
your shoulder. I may not understand your relationship, as far as you both
being young men, but I know that my son loves you!"

	Though the next few weeks didn't show drastic improvements in
Matthew's acknowledgement that I existed, my spirits did rise some. Robert
had never told his wife about what I'd confided in him, and it was plain to
see that Matthew hadn't either. More than one time I caught her fussing in
a whisper to her husband that `she wished she knew what was going on around
here with her own son.' But to know that I did have one person who I could
talk to, confide in, was a relief and comfort all it's own. This relief was
to be short-lived and viciously taken away. Both Matthew's parents and
myself had been acutely aware for some while that he'd been staying out
later and later during the night, coming in more than one time half drunk
himself. His father had scolded and verbally reprimanded numerous times,
but to no avail. My friend Kyle had brought me news more than once that
Matthew had been spotted `with the jocks' again. But the news that came
from the extended telephone call between Matthew's father and another
family who's name sounded vaguely familiar, brought the news that truly
pulled all hope from under my life. The conversation lasted for what I
counted to be almost two hours, Robert's voice sounding more grave with
every word. "Right, yes, we'll take the responsibility. Yes, you'll hear
from my lawyer within the next few days." I turned to leave from where I'd
been eavesdropping in the doorway, but was stopped by Robert's serious
tone. "Alex, you'd better wait, son. I'm afraid I've got some news that's
gonna have a drastic effect on you." Again I felt the familiar lurch of my
stomach. What could possibly cause Robert, who was normally the bubbliest,
most happy-go-lucky person I'd ever met, to wear such a pained, almost
tired, weary expression? "Alex, there's no easy way to put this, so you
might as well know. That was the Henderson family's lawyer. Matthew and
their daughter, the Henderson family that is, are expecting. She's
pregnant, and the tests have returned proof positive that Matthew's the
father. Alex, Matthew and this girl are going to have a baby!"