Date: Sun, 02 Apr 2000 19:55:07 GMT
From: MM
Subject: Metron Ariston, Part 5: Cenophilia (highschool)

Metron Ariston
Part V: Cenophilia

* * * * *

"Je ne comprends plus pourquoi
J'ai du sang sur mes doigts
Il faut que je te rassure
Je soignerais bien tes blessures
     Mon amour...."
  -Mylene Farmer, "Beyond my control"

* * * * *

I came to - felt shoved to, more like - with Randy's name on my lips. I sat
up in bed - I was in bed? Where was I? I looked around wildly. A hospital?
Then there was a sudden sharp pain in my right side and I fell back into bed
again. I felt for a bell and rang it.

After a period of time, the nurse came in. "Ah, bon, t'es reveille," he
said. "J'vais avertir la docteure."

"Hey, before you do that," I asked in French, "was anyone admitted at the
same time as I was?"

"Yes, five other young men who were involved in the same incident," he
clarified. "As for you, you were suffering from a broken rib and were
unconscious; you were kept for observation, but can probably be released
soon. I have some painkillers for you." He offered two white pills and a cup
of water; I took both and swallowed them.

"The doctor will be in to talk with you, then he'll give you some
instructions and you'll be discharged," he said, and smiled. "Good luck."

I smiled back, and waited for the doctor to come in.

* * * * *

After meeting with the doctor and being given a prescription for
painkillers, I was discharged from the hospital. I got my clothes back,
which I was happy to see were undamaged. After buying my painkillers at the
hospital pharmacy, I asked after Randy, and learned he was about to be
discharged too. I went to go see him.

He was just getting ready to leave his room. "Denis! Hi," he said, his face
brightening up. "I'm just about to leave."

"Great," I said, smiling back. "Did they say what was wrong?"

"Yeah," he said. "I had, like, a mild concussion. The doctor gave me this
sheet of what to do. What about you?"

"One of my ribs got broken. They gave me painkillers. Shall we go?" He
agreed, and we got moving.

He read the sheet as he was walking along beside me. As we got to the
elevator, his eyes narrowed as he looked at the sheet. "Hey, Denis, it says
here that I have to stay with someone, to watch me in case I start to act
weird. Can I sleep over at your place?"

I looked at him in puzzlement as I summoned the elevator. "Sure, I guess.
What about your parents, though? Aren't they at home?"

"Naw," he said disgustedly. "They couldn't even reach mom. I guess she's at
her boyfriend's or something. She don't care anyway."

We left the hospital and took the bus to my house in silence.

* * * * *

"We're both in the gutter, that's no surprise
What does it matter when I look in your eyes?
We've lost all our money, we're thrown out of bars
We're lying in the gutter but we're looking at the stars..."
     -Pet Shop Boys, "I Get Excited"

It was about ten at night when we arrived at my place; the fight had been
ten that morning and we'd spent the day in the hospital. Both of us were
ravenous when we arrived at my place, having successfully avoided hospital
food. I nuked some leftovers I found in my fridge, and served them up. We
dug in.

About three-quarters of the way through the sumptuous repast, I giggled.
"What?" Randy wanted to know.

"Oh, I was just thinking. I'm impressed - you put all four of those guys in
the hospital. I guess it was adrenaline. My hero," I said wryly, and
laughed. Randy didn't laugh. In fact, he was looking straight ahead.

"Randy?" I said in alarm.

"Oh, shit!" he blurted. "Oh, I'm dead, I'm so fucking dead!"

I looked at him in the eyes. "What's wrong?" I said intensely.

He put his hands in his face. "I'm sooooo dead," he moaned. "I'm going to
get expelled from school, I know it. I'll fail the year and I won't be able
to go to college or anything - I tried so hard this year - oh god, my mom is
going to kill me!"

"Over my fucking dead body they'll expel you," I said, intently, grabbing
his hands. "I'll tell them what happened. I'll kick their asses until they
see what's the truth. They won't be able to expel you. You saved my fucking
life, Randy. They can't kick you out for that. I won't let them."

He was astonished. My lip began to quiver. Oh no, I thought. I'm going to
start crying. Hold it back. I choked. "I'll do whatever it takes."

He put his hand on my shoulder. "Denis..." he said. "When I saw them beating
you up, I felt so guilty... and when they told me to hit you, I lost
control. You looked so hurt and so tired - I couldn't let them do that to
you."

He looked down at his plate. "I was thinking about this a lot today, and for
a while now... I don't know how to say it, but I can't put it off any
longer." He took a deep breath in, and looked back at me. He looked like he
had to force his mouth to open, and then the words came out in a rush. "I -
Ithinkiloveyoudenis."

My mouth opened, and I looked back at him. "Did you just say what I thought
you said?" I breathed.

"I love you, Denis!" he blurted, and looked back at me. His raw emotion was
showing through like bone under torn flesh.

Love. The word resonated in my mind. It bounced off of things, smashed
through others. Love. Love. Was that the word? Was it?

It collided with the strange feeling that I had had. It wrapped itself
around it like a net. Love. It was.

I hadn't loved anyone in four years.

"I love you too, Randy," I whispered.

He exhaled, and smiled. Grinned widely, actually. So did I. I moved my chair
around the table up to him and touched his ear, bringing his head down close
to mine, so I could feel his breath on my face.

"I don't know what you're doing to me, Randy," I said, my voice catching. "I
didn't know anything could make me feel like anyone cared whether I lived or
died anymore. But you - I want to see what happens to you. I want to be with
you as you come out. And I - I've fallen in love with you, and I'm just so
happy to hear..." I broke off, and sniffed. Tears had brimmed in my eyes,
trickling down my cheeks. Almost instinctually, he reached up and brushed
them away. He gazed at me, and suddenly pulled me into a tight embrace. The
dam broke, and I sobbed against his chest.

It was amazing; the first time I'd felt joy - pure, unalloyed joy - in over
four years, and it was overwhelming. The force of it was so great as to make
me weep. It was a good thing that I'd been able to get enough of my last
sentence out before I broke up. I didn't want Randy to think I was
distraught. I didn't want this moment of perfect joy to be mistaken for
sadness.

It was like an orgasm of the heart.