Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2005 13:23:35 -0400
From: Sequoyah <sequoyah@charter.net>
Subject: Moon Watching 8

MOON WATCHING

Chapter Eight

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Chapter Eight


I think both Keith and I were amazed when we both woke up at the crack of
dawn, well, maybe even a bit before that. Mom and Dad were sleeping in, I
guess, because they were not in evidence. Keith and I dressed for the
outdoors and quietly went outside.

The sun was just coming up and the sky in the east was streaked with
brilliant reds and oranges. The western sky was becoming brighter and blue,
blue. It seemed close enough to reach out and touch. The air was cold and
clear and so crisp it seemed like you could break off a piece to keep for
gray days.

There was no wind so the trees were still covered with snow which sparkled
in the sun, reflecting the colors of the dawn. The trees and ground looked
as though they had been sprinkled with diamonds. Stepping into the magic
land created by winter, Keith and I went into the morning, feeling very,
very much alive.

I don't know how we had missed it last night, or maybe it had been made
during the night, but when we reached the edge of the woods, we saw an
animal trail leading down to the river. We walked slowly and quietly,
holding hands, toward the river. I heard a sharp intake of breath and Keith
squeezed my hand and pointed.

At the river's edge, a large buck was drinking. He stopped every few
minutes to look around, checking for enemies. We stood as still as
possible, watching the beautiful animal. He finished drinking and as he
turned to leave, spied us. He froze in place for an instant, then in a
burst of sheer energy, ran past us and disappeared into the underbrush.

"Wow!" Keith said under his breath, "Just wow!"

Keith and I turned around and followed the trail into the woods. The tracks
revealed the passage of all kinds of animals, but we saw none except a
couple rabbits.

When we got back to the house, Dad had started preparing breakfast and
Keith pitched in to help. Since Dad had always said three in the kitchen is
one too many, I set the table and then went upstairs to shower and shave. I
had just finished when Keith called from downstairs, telling me breakfast
was ready. After breakfast, Mom and I cleaned up while Dad and Keith
showered and Dad shaved.

The whole family has always enjoyed uninterrupted reading time when we were
at the cabin so I was not surprised when, after he had showered and Mom and
I had finished cleaning up, Mom and Dad each grabbed a book and curled up
in a chair before the fireplace and started reading. I told Keith we should
do the same until his hair was dry. We went to the loft and picked up books
to read. Half an hour later he said, "Ok, let's hit the outside."

Mom and Dad joined us outside where the four of us made a huge snowman and
I showed Keith how to make snow angels. College Park had snow most years,
but seldom enough to really play in.

The sun was very warm, melting the snow on the trees, often forming icicles
which caught the sunlight, making the evergreens look like Christmas trees.

The temperature was rising, but it was definitely not summer. After being
out an hour, we were all ready to go inside. As soon as I was out of my
heavy winter outer clothes, I put on the kettle and soon had tea ready. It
was really welcome!

Mom and I prepared a late lunch and all four of us decided a nap was called
for. Keith and I went upstairs, took off our shirts and pants and crawled
into bed. I had just gotten settled when Keith asked, "Tom, does my being
in bed with you bother you? I mean...."

"I'm sure I know what you mean, Keith," I answered, "and no, it doesn't."

"Good, 'cause I like it," he said as he snuggled up to my back.

Christmas Eve afternoon, Dad said, "I suspect if we are going to have a
Christmas tree, we need to get one."

"You mean we are going into town?" Keith asked.

"Don't think so," Dad said. "Come along."

As we left the house, Dad picked up the bow saw and a hatchet we used with
firewood and we headed to the woods. The snow was melted in the animal
trail, but we could still see animal tracks and followed the trail into the
woods. There was a large clearing a good distance from the house and
hemlocks had grown up around its edge.

"Here's your Christmas tree shop, Keith," Dad said. "Pick out your tree."

It took Keith and me awhile to find the perfect tree and cut it. When it
was down, Keith took hold of the butt end and I reached though the branches
to grasp the trunk to keep the tree off the ground.

When we got back to the house, we wedged the tree in a large bucket, using
rocks to hold it in place. It was a magnificent tree even undecorated.

"Guess we'll do without decorations this year," I said.

"Not if you don't want to," Mom said. "There's popcorn and cranberries. You
can even make a construction paper daisy chain if you are interested."

Keith and I decided we'd just decorate with popcorn and cranberry strings
and spend the rest of the afternoon doing that. The Christmas tree wasn't
as flashy as it would have been had we had bought decorations, but it was a
beautiful one.

When we had finished, Mom had egg nog in cups and asked if we'd like some
rum in ours. Keith laughed when she asked and said, "I'd love some so long
as you don't let me have too much. I'll always remember, I'm sure, just how
awful a hangover can be."

The night Keith and I both had entirely too much to drink was wrapped
around a very serious and sad event and a very tender and loving one, but
we had talked about being drunk though it as was a separate event,
unconnected to LaTasha's death and our making love. We had some grand
laughs at ourselves over that part of the night without taking away from
the seriousness of Keith's hurt or tenderness of our making love. We talked
about those too, not often, but sometimes.

Mid-afternoon Christmas Eve, Mom said she and Dad were going into town for
the Christmas Eucharist at Grace Church and asked if Keith and I wanted to
go. There was no pressure for us to go, just an offer. We hadn't made a
habit of going to Grace, but we had gone a couple times. The liturgy was
done well--warm, but not "folksie"

We didn't go to church in College Park. The parish there was extremely
conservative in a lot of ways, but the liturgy was caught up in 60s "feel
good" mode. That was a real turn off for our family, but we stuck it out
for a couple years after the new rector came and really started messing up
the liturgy. Dad said he wouldn't have thought liturgy could be so bad that
it was "like fingernails on a chalkboard," but it could be.

But what finally corked things, so to speak, was a sermon on the evils of
homosexuality and the damnation of "so-called gays." I thought I'd puke
every time the rector said homosexual, making the word sound like it had
come out of the sewer. Needless to say, I was very uncomfortable. Finally
Dad leaned over to me and said, "I'm leaving" and the three of us got up
and walked out.

Dad and Mom made an appointment to speak to the rector, but they didn't say
what happened when they kept it. I do know we never went back.

Anyway, Keith said he'd like to go to the Midnight Eucharist so that
settled it.

Mom called and found out there would be carol singing before, but the
Eucharist would start at 11:00. Seems more and more congregations think
about finishing at midnight rather than beginning then. We arrived just
before 11:00 and walked into a darkened church. The organ was playing
something which definitely was not a Christmas carol, then at 11:00 a brass
choir joined the organ and choir in "O Come All Ye Faithful. We had all
been given a candle when we came in and they were now being lit one by
one. The church gradually grew brighter and brighter as candles were lit.

The procession came down the aisle led by the thurifer--yummy looking
boy--swinging the thurible, raising clouds of incense.

The service was beautifully done, formal, but not stiff, with care, but not
tediously so.

After the service, we spoke to the rector at the door. He asked where we
were from and invited us to come back when we were at the cabin. He said he
suspected we found Grace very different from a big Atlanta church and Dad
said, "Yes, thank goodness."

Christmas Day Keith and I were up before Mom and Dad--again. My parents
work hard, often working long days so when they get a chance to be away
from the job and relax, they really do.

When we were ready for bed Christmas Eve, Keith and I put our gifts under
the tree, but there were no others. When we got up, there were piles of
presents waiting for us, but I knew they would stay right there until we
finished breakfast. When I told Keith that, he said "Then let's make
breakfast." We had just about finished when I heard Mom and Dad moving
about. When the last dish was on the table, Dad walked out of their bedroom
and Keith said, "Perfect timing, Mr. McCarter."

We had a very leisurely breakfast--eggs, bacon and biscuits with a couple
different kinds of jam. When the only choice was making biscuits from
scratch or those things in a can, biscuits were a rare treat. No one had
time to make them from scratch and none of us liked the canned kind. Not
long ago Mom discovered frozen biscuits and we now had them often.

Keith's parents had sent his presents with Mom and Dad so he had a pile to
open as did I. Of course there was clothing. I once asked Mom why I always
got clothes for Christmas since they were always things I needed. She said
she supposed it was because her parents and Dad's always gave them some
practical things. "They had recollections of the Great Depression when
there wasn't money for anything unnecessary so clothing became gifts. Well,
to tell the whole truth, your dad's family mostly didn't give anything and
certainly nothing which wasn't needed. "'Damn foolishness' your grandfather
called it."

There were lots of presents, but the special ones would be what we would
all remember. Dad gave Mom a beautiful opal ring--both my parents loved
opals--and Mom gave him a pocket watch, something he had wanted for
years. It was an antique railroad watch with a wonderful engraving of a
train on the cover which snapped over the face and, of course, a gold
chain. I had worked very hard trying to find something for Keith and
finally settled on a silver chain with a cross he had seen and liked in an
antique shop in College Park. He gave me a silver ring, which I just loved,
from the same shop.

After we had opened the presents and spent some time outside, Keith asked
Mom and Dad if they'd like to play Monopoly. When Keith suggested it I knew
what their answer would be. Mom and Dad were cutthroat Monopoly
players--but they didn't win. Keith beat all three of us.

Mid-morning the day after Christmas, Trey, Joe and Queen Joyce
arrived. Queen Joyce came in complaining that she was probably going to die
in this wilderness and her body would not be discovered for years. She kept
carrying on until Trey finally said, "Can it Queen. I saw where you were
born and it was so far back in the south Georgia piney woods daylight
doesn't arrive until noon and is worn out so it's only twilight."

Queen Joyce started laughing like mad and said, "You know that's the truth,
Honey, but damn, it was at least level. I may fall off the side of one of
these mountains."

"If you do, the river'll stop you," Joe said.

The rest of the week was really great. The three late arrivals were sorry
they didn't get to see the snow, but enjoyed the very warm weather which
followed. Even Queen Joyce went for a couple of long walks and took a lot
of short walks. Joe said she really needed some activity because of her
diabetes. "Trey and I are really putting the pressure on to get her to
retire after this year. She'll have thirty plus years in. My understanding
is that will give her over sixty percent of her present salary. Right?" he
asked Dad. Dad nodded.

 "She has put the max in her tax sheltered annuity for the past ten years
so she could live well even if she had rent or a house payment, which she
does not. She's resisting saying she'd have nothing to do. Trey and I have
said we'd see she has things to do. She loves to cook and we love to eat,
so that's definitely something she can do."

We debated going back to College Park for New Year's and decided not to,
but we did head back New Year's Day since schools started back January
second as did Joe's and Trey's jobs.

New Years was bright and sunny, but it was the last bright day for what
seemed like forever. The days were dull and gray, the mood depressed. The
first semester had ended before Christmas and the second seemed to be stuck
in neutral. Keith and I lamented not having a car to work on, but saw no
way to change that. We even talked about not going out for baseball and
getting jobs, but both sets of parents advised us that that was not a good
idea.

We were sitting on the wall, waiting for Mom near the last of January,
talking about getting a car. "Maybe we'll get one for one of our
birthdays," I said.

"Hope you're not holding your breath,"Keith responded.

Well, I did get one for my birthday, a real fixer-upper, but perfect for
what Keith and I had in mind. He even had hopes he might get one as well.

I got a car, but it would not change my life nearly as much as what
happened the next day.

I was sitting in homeroom, trying to ignore all the noise and commotion
around me as I completed the last of my trig homework. It was very unlike
me to arrive at school with my homework assignments incomplete, but last
night had been a very special one.

My parents surprised me for my birthday by taking me out to dinner and a
concert and giving me a four year old Chrysler LeBaron convertible. It
definitely needed body work, but the engine sounded pretty good to me. When
Keith heard it the next day he said the engine wasn't bad, but could use
some serious work.

Actually, Dad had called him and asked if he'd like to help pick out a car
for my birthday--"One that'll keep you two busy and out of trouble," Keith
told me Dad had said. It had been a super special evening, but I didn't do
my homework.

When we got to school Keith had to check on something and said he'd see me
later. I walked to homeroom, took out my trig book and started trying to do
my homework. When I was on the last problem, someone bumped my arm walking
past. Without looking up I said, "It just might be you could look where you
are going," as I erased a long black pencil mark from my paper.

"I'm really sorry. Not a good way to start off at a new school."

I wanted to say, "With that voice it doesn't matter, just say anything,"
but when I looked up to speak, I was struck dumb by the magnificent
creature looking down at me. I could hardly see anything beyond his
eyes. They were very large and a sparkling brown with gold flecks. His
lashes were the longest I think I had ever seen. When I finally was able to
tear my eyes from his, I saw a handsome face with a warm chocolate
complexion and, even in over-sized shirt and pants, a body to die for.

When I finally recovered a bit, I said, "I'm really sorry for being an
ass. Name's Tom, Tom McCarter," as I extended my hand.

"Derrick, Derrick Murphy."

"Ah, Tom, if you'll release Derrick, I'd like to welcome him to East River,
too," Keith, who had just walked in, said.

I turned bright red when I realized I was still holding Derrick's hand,
gazing into his eyes and definitely lost in space.

I dropped his hand and Keith shook hands with Derrick and said, "Keith
Anderson, Derrick. Don't mind my buddy, he's often lost in space. Welcome
to East River."

"Thanks," he replied. "Maybe you two can help me out. I got lost getting
from the counseling center to here and it's just down the hall. I haven't
the foggiest where I go next."

"Sure, glad to help," I said. "Got your schedule?"

"Of course he has his schedule, Dumbass," Keith said.

Here was the most beautiful human being I had ever seen and I was making a
fool of myself.

Derrick smiled and handed me his schedule. I spread it out on the desk and
Keith and I took a look at it. I couldn't believe my eyes. We had four of
our seven classes together. "You may be in luck," Keith said, "Tom has four
classes with you--and I'm in two of those--and I have one other with
you. That only leaves two classes where you're on your own.

"That's the good news," I said.

"Yeah, and the bad news is bad. You have signed up for a double period
vocational class in family management. Wouldn't be a bad course, but the
feeling among the faculty about that class is pretty well-known. They
scrape the bottom of the barrel and dump what they get into that class
since there are two teachers assigned to it, enough to prevent the apes
from creating total chaos, but nothing else gets done."

"Same period I have auto body repair," I said. "Could use you on Keith's
and my project."

We talked about the car and the fact that Keith and I would be putting two
class periods a day into it. Since Derrick was taking hard courses, I knew
he'd go nuts in home management. "Let's get something done about this right
now," I said.

Keith and I told the home room teacher we needed to take Derrick to the
counselor's office and left. It took a lot of arguing and refusing to
budge, but we finally got Derrick's classes changed and he'd be in auto
body repair with me. "Six periods a day with this gorgeous hunk of male
flesh," I thought to myself as the bell rang, ending home room.

When school was out, I asked Derrick where he lived and he said he lived
with his grandmother. She lived in an apartment in one of the oldest
apartment buildings in the area, but one which had been kept in excellent
shape. It was also in one of the nicer sections of the town.

There were four apartments in the building and I had been been in one
several years ago when Mom and I took something to one of her teachers who
lived there. I didn't say anything, but I knew there was only one bedroom,
a small kitchen-dining area and living room. Plenty of room for one person,
but I was sure it was cramped with Derrick and his grandmother living
there.

While the apartment was several blocks from either Keith's place or mine,
it really wasn't out of the way if we changed our usual route. The weeks my
parents drove, we'd drop Keith off first and the weeks Keith's parents
drove, we'd drop Derrick off first.

Dad had promised me he would take me to get my graduated driver's license
as soon as he could so I wasn't surprised when he showed up at school
Friday after my birthday and we went to the license bureau. I had taken and
passed my written test the day after I turned fifteen and gotten my
instructional permit then.

I had gotten a lot of driving experience both on the open road and around
College Park and East Point. I was confident I could pass the driving test
and get my graduated license. That would let me drive with Keith and
Derrick in the car so the parents would be, as Keith's mom said, "Free at
last, free at last, thank God Almighty, free at last." Keith, having been
born a week after I was, didn't get his graduated license until near the
end of the month.

I guess you'd say Keith, Derrick and I quickly bonded or whatever you call
becoming really tight friends. It reached the point where Mom said, "You
see one of you guys, you see all three." Before the first week was over, we
had learned Derrick played baseball--he was a pitcher--was good at science
and math, but really loved literature and composition, took to auto body
repair like a duck to water and was one of the most upbeat and open people
I ever met.

The second day Derrick was at East River, Keith and I were tutoring and he,
of course, came with us since we were his ride to and from school. There
was a whole room full of students showing up for tutoring now and Keith and
I were very busy. We had some people who came for tutoring who were in
junior or senior math classes who helped out with the freshmen and
sophomores, otherwise we'd be unable to help more than five or six
students.

Derrick came in with us, sat down and started working on his
homework. About five minutes after we started, a student asked a question
out loud and Derrick got up and went to help him. He was soon as involved
in tutoring as Keith and I. On the way home he said, "I guess you know
there's not a better way of learning than teaching." Keith and I agreed.

The day after Derrick helped tutor, we made a second trip to the
counselor's office and got Derrick signed up so he could get credit for
tutoring.

February is a really rotten month, but there are occasional days which
remind you spring is just around the corner. Wednesday of the week after
Derrick came to East River was one of those rare February days. It was
warm--the temperature reached seventy and the sky was perfectly clear. When
we got to the parking lot, Keith said, "Guys, I think I'd like to share a
place with you. Call and let people know you two'll be home in a couple
hours."

There had been a long family discussion about cell phones before I was
given one. The school system provided Mom and Dad with one. For personal
use, they upped their plan and paid the difference. Both parents thought it
was a good idea for me to have a phone, but school rules prohibited it;
"drug dealers use them," was the reason. Of course the fact that 99.99% of
the students had one as well was never mentioned. Anyway, it was finally
decided I would be given a prepaid phone and the basic amount of time for
emergencies and keeping parents aware of where I was. I was to keep the
phone locked in the glove compartment and never, ever, to take it inside
the school building.

The three of us got into the Gray Goose, the name Keith had given my car as
it became more and more gray from the primer Derrick and I applied as we
got a section ready for paint. And as soon as we did, Keith unlocked--he
had keys to my car since he needed to take it into the mechanical shop--the
glove compartment and took out the phone. He called my mom and his mom and
told them we were headed for the river and would be a couple hours late
getting home. He then gave th ephone to Derrick who called his grandmother.

Keith had given the Gray Goose's engine a basic tune up so the car sounded
and ran better than when I first got it, but still needed mechanical
work. But that was getting done. Since there were few cars available for
the class, four guys were working on mine with Keith.

Anyway, we three headed out of the school parking lot and Keith directed us
to a dirt side road a few miles from school. We followed it for a ways,
then turned onto another road--actually just a trail--into the piney
woods. That trail became less and less obvious and eventually petered out
at the base of an old oak. Keith hopped out of the car and said, "Walking
time."

There was a well-beaten path down to the river, about a hundred yards from
where we parked. When we reached the river, Keith started down a path along
the bank. The path became more and more faint until it simply
disappeared. Walking became more and more problematic, but Keith kept
on. Finally we reached a bamboo grove and I was surprised as Keith pushed
his way into it.

Derrick and I, with difficulty, picked our way through the bamboo,
following Keith. Thinking we might be lost forever in a bamboo thicket, I
was relieved when, suddenly, we stepped into a clearing. The bamboo had
grown up around the edges of a small, sandy mound, forming a dense screen
on three sides. The third side was open to the river. The place was
breathtaking.

We spread our jackets on the warm, dry sand and sat down. For several
minutes we let the sounds and beauty of the river and our hideaway just
flow over us. After a good long silence, Derrick said, "Thanks, Keith. This
is a wonderful place. So calm, peaceful. I needed a place like this."

"So do I," Keith said. "We used to come here every chance we got. We made
love here the last week I saw her."

I could see questions in Derrick's eyes, but I didn't think it was my place
to answer them. That was up to Keith.

We were all silent again and after a few minutes, Keith said, "My brother
Tom pulled a fast one on me and the most beautiful girl in the world."
Keith then told Derrick about LaTasha, beginning with the two of them
asking my help in getting together. When he started talking about what had
happened to her, he was silent for several minutes then said, "Derrick,
what happened to her should never happen to anyone." He then told Derrick
all. I was surprised when he spoke in a calm voice and did not break
down. When he finished, he said, "I think if it hadn't been for Tom, I
would have taken LaTasha's way out. Maybe. I don't really know. I do know
that the hurt and the pain are still there, but I am very glad I am still
alive. Very glad."

There had been several times when I wondered if Keith would make it or take
the coward's way out. There was one time I knew about when I wouldn't have
given even money on his not doing it.

We had a teachers' workday in late October and Keith and I had been in the
park just playing around all day. We finally ended up at his place, just
bumming around. We were in his bedroom listening to CDs. We were both
flopped down on his bed. We had taken our shoes off and I was using my toes
to open and close the drawer of his nightstand. The CD ended and as I
started to get up and put new ones in the changer, my toe caught in the
nightstand and I tipped it over, spilling everything in the drawer across
the floor.

Keith made a dive for a pistol which spun across the floor, but he was not
fast enough. I grabbed the pistol and dropped the clip from it. "Ok, Keith,
my brother, start talking." Keith looked at me, fire in his eye, and said
through clinched teeth, "Give me my God damn gun and get the fuck out of my
house!"

"No such luck, Dumbass," I replied. "We are going to get something settled
now or when your parents get home."

Keith lunged at me, but I had the advantage; I wasn't shaking all over,
Keith was. I pinned him on the floor and held him there as he melted into
tears and his body shook with great wracking sobs. "You just don't
understand! You just don't understand!" Keith was finally able to say
through his sobs.

"I understand one thing. I understand that you do not need a gun, now or
any other time, but especially now."

I was still talking with Keith when his mom and dad came home. When they
called for Keith, I said, "He's here in his room and he needs you."

Keith's dad saw the gun which I had tossed on the bed and stated a
tirade. "Mr. Anderson, that is not what is needed now," I said, quietly.

"Yes, Alex, just cool it," Mrs. Anderson said.

Mr. Anderson looked sheepish and later said he needed to learn not to lash
out anytime he faced a situation in which he was not in control.

Keith was finally calm enough to talk and told us he had really dark moods
when everything just seemed hopeless. "LaTasha's death just took away any
reason I had to go on living. Why can't I just save us all a lot of
trouble?" Fortunately, Keith's parents realized that being told to "stand
up like a man" wasn't going to accomplish anything and that they were
definitely out of their depth.

I went with them to take Keith to see their family doctor, who also
realized he was out of his depth, and called a psychiatrist friend,
Dr. McCann, and got Keith admitted to the hospital where he was immediately
put on suicide watch.

Keith was in the hospital for a week. He was released with medicine and a
schedule of sessions with Dr. McCann. He also spent a lot of time talking
with me. Gradually I saw him come out of the woods, but I was concerned
that he never mentioned LaTasha. Therefore, when he took Derrick and me to
the spot which had been special for him and the woman he loved I knew we
had passed the crisis.