Date: Sat, 19 Feb 2000 03:31:37 PST
From: Dave Schreiber <dabeagleywing@hotmail.com>
Subject: Moving On

	Moving is hard on everyone, but I think there are certain times in a
persons life when it is harder to start over.  Like when my grandmother died
my grandfather went into a nursing home and it just seemed like her death
coupled with the move was just too much on him.  I think when you hit
puberty is another time, or maybe that is just cause I just hit puberty and
we moved.
	My folks are divorced, which is ok.  All they did was fight anyway, so now
my mom lives in Boston and my father took me to middle of nowhere, Nevada.
Actually it is ok, I guess.  I mean, there isn't much for me to do since the
main form of entertainment  is gambling, but on the other hand when I call
my friend Chris  I tell him how whore houses are still legal here!
	My name is Justin and I turned 15 in a U-Haul truck on the way out here, I
stand 5ft 4inches tall with light brown hair, parted in the middle.  I guess
I have always been interested in guys and I was sure no one knew about that,
even though I was always afraid that someone would find out. I mean, who did
you know in high school that looked at other guys?  Now think of the ones
that didn't get harassed or get their asses kicked. So I stayed quiet.  Sure
I looked, and I was relieved as well as disappointed that showers were not
taken after gym. Just lucky like that I guess.
	The house we moved into used to belong to some railroad baron or something,
it is huge with a wraparound porch and a turret, just like a castle. My dad
was eager to make me happy when we got here.  My parents were both worried
about the effects of the divorce on me.  I think it is the only thing in
recent memory that they agreed on. Anyway, I thought the round room under
the turret was cool, so dad let me have that as my room.

	My room overlooks a small park lines with trees and a small fish pond at
the far end.  I sit in my room and watch kids shoot hoops on the courts and
dream about a few of them, even though this is a futile effort since I know
I can never have any of them.  I wish I were with my mom because I think it
would be easier in a large city to be who I am, I mean who has the larger
gay population, Boston, Mass or Butthole, NV?  Well don't let the name fool
you, it's Boston.  Anyway we were done moving in and I decided to go over
for a better look at the courts, I'm no center, but I can shoot from the
outside.  As I wandered through the park I took note of all the people
passing through, lovers out for a walk, a jogger and his dog, and an old
fellow sitting feeding the birds near the courts.
As I approached the courts the old fellow took note of me and waved his hand
in a gesture of welcome, so I walked over and sat on the bench with him.

	"I'm Julius Farrel," he said in a melodious voice as he proffered his hand,
"You must be new in town, I know everyone- except of course you."
	"Justin Corcoran," I offered shaking his hand, "I did just move here about
a month ago.  You know everyone, huh?"
	"Near abouts everyone, mayhap there be one or two I ain't too familiar
with, but I spent all my life in this little burg and I seen it grow, most
of these kids I seen grow, knowed there parents too.  You can see a lot of
growin if you just watch a little."
	I turned toward the court and took note of the teams, on shirts and one
skins.  The skins team was definitely more interesting.
	"Are you interested in basketball?" I asked, staring a little too long at
the skins point guard.
	"What, basketball? Hell no. Stupid game. Also I was never any good at it.
People tend not to like things they aren't good at, and I am no exception."
	"So who is the guy there with the ball?" I asked, hoping the question would
come off sounding like I wanted to test his bold statement.
	"That one there? Oh, he is just the mayors son, is all, Kyle Pritchard. He
is a looker, isn't he?"
	It took a moment for the words to wash over my conscious mind.
	"What did you say?" I asked quickly.
	"Kyle there, he is a looker isn't he?  I mean, look at the way he sees the
whole court, the passes he makes out there make it seem like he is using
those guys for practice.  Always like a good looker." Julius said in a voice
that seemed full of concentration.
	Justin sighed slowly.  Man, I have got to get a hold of myself, of course
he meant that he saw he court, Kyle is playing guard, what an idiot!
	"Still with me?" Asked Julius.
	"Um, yeah," I managed, "I thought you said you didn't like basketball?"
	"If you remember" he drawled, "I also said I wasn't any good at it.
Haven't you ever heard of sour grapes boy?  No?  Well let me tell you....."
	His words were lost on me.  There are moments that stick in your mind, and
when you conjure an image of a person, that image is what springs to your
mind. I had just such an image now.  Kyle had just made a long shot, and his
torso stretched, and his skin glistened with sweat, and his shorts rode up
on the way down.  Perfect.
	"If you stare, they'll start to notice you, look away fool, look away!"
Julius growled, and finished by shoving me out of my trance.
	I looked around to see if anyone had heard his statement, but no one had,
to my relief.
	"Hey, I was just watching that shot, I wasn't staring!" I squeaked,
realizing too late that I was speaking defensively.
	"Now hold on," He interrupted, " I wasn't trying to be rude or accusing you
of nothing. I was just sayin that when you stare at a group of fellows that
hard you gonna git in trouble, you know?  I mean times is more permissive
than when I was a little un, but people is still biggots, and they make
mistakes.  I know, cause I stared too long when I was a boy, and someone
else paid for it. People knowed about me from then on and it seemed that no
matter how far away I went I could still feel my old neighbors starin at my
back, people I had knowed since I was a kid turned me out.
	"But I say those were also less permissive times, but just as brutal today.
So If you is, stop starin so hard.  An if you isn't, then take it as a
lesson."
	I stood to leave, but found my self somewhat reluctant.  I did need someone
to confide in, but did I want this guy?  Did I have a lot of choices?
	"Listen," Julius said, "I really need to be getting on, but I come here to
the park almost everyday, and I do know everyone and most everything that
happens here. Even the things that happened in your house through the years,
so if you think it over a bit you can see I am harmless, so look me up."  He
smiled and slowly ambled off towards the East Side of the park, birds
trailing in a hesitant fashion, a few bold ones actually on his hat, and he
left.
	I considered his words.  Probably good advice, before I had gotten to go to
school and had to dispel any rumors.... Oh well, nothing had come of it, so
I wasn't going to worry.  I was wondering what he meant about the comment he
made about my house and what had happened there when I was stirred from my
reverie by the unmistakable sound of a fight.
	Turning my attention back to the court I saw that the shirt center was
trying to corner Kyle.  The center was at least four inches taller and
looked like he had a good fifty pound on his smaller opponent.  Kyle was
rather slim, although his muscle definition was very noticeable through his
chest, abs, and his legs were so well formed.  I have always been a leg man.
His facial features were delicate, and it looked like the other fellow was
about to spoil all that.

	The court was fenced in by seven foot chain link, so escape was not an
option.

	I made my decision in a heartbeat, and I gave myself no opportunity for
argument, I moved across the distance between us with a sense of urgency.
The ring of shouting spectators that had slowly formed around the pair and
were calling from one to the other alternatively pleading for them to stop
so they could keep playing, or to wallop the hell out of each other.  I knew
that if I didn't hurry I would miss my opportunity.  I moved into a gap
behind the center that had been left open, probably since you couldn't see
much through the guy.  I side stepped just a little and caught Kyle's eye.
Time seemed to slow for an instant as I locked my gaze to his.  His green
eyes seemed to hold me in a trance, mesmerizing my whole being into apathy.
I mentally shook myself and got down on all fours behind the center.
	Kyle's eyes grew wide with comprehension.  The next few moments were a
blur, Kyle's foot met with the centers groin and then he was being pushed
backward, toppling over my stilted form.  As soon as he went over my back I
was up and moving to distance my self.  I felt a hand on my arm and a
breathless voice near my ear.
	"Come on!" Kyle panted.
	So I did.  We ran down the length of the park, crossed the street and
turned the corner again.
	My thought were tumbling as I ran behind Kyle, his back clear and tanned,
his legs well muscled, and the shake of his thighs with every step he took,
not to mention his ass shaking in from to of me.  This must be what it I
like to be high, I thought.  But how do I keep the moment from ending?
	I reached out and caught his shoulder, felt his sweat and the suppleness of
his skin.  As he slowed I pulled his upper arm and steered him off the
sidewalk and between two houses, adding a simple breathless "This way."
	We emerged at a wooden gate that I pushed through and slammed shut behind
us, now safe in my yard.
	 Kyle wheezed, hands on his knees but head up looking at me, grinning.
	"Is there something wrong?" He asked.
	"No, why?" I panted.
	"You...are out of....breath!"  He said between gasps.
	"Wha..." I started to ask and then just started laughing along with Kyle
who had given up even trying to stand and now lay on the ground laughing.
	As we recovered gradually from our laughing fit we introduced our selves.
	"I am Kyle Pritchard, and thanks a lot.  I thought he was going to pound me
for sure!"
	"I'm Justin, and I thought he was gonna pound you too!"  At this we were
off laughing again.
	"So what did you do to piss him off so bad anyway?" I asked.
	"Oh, well he took his driving test the other day and hit a parked car, and
he also has a bad habit of swinging his elbows when he drives to he hole. So
I just made a little comment about how his license and his game were the
same thing, since he doesn't have either one, and, well, it just kinda
pissed him off.  A little."  He chortled the last word out and we were off
laughing again.
	As we finished up the last round of giggles we were side to side on the
lawn. The laughter felt so good, and the sun shining off his tanned
shoulders and chest made him appear a vision.  But the last straw was his
shorts, since he was sitting they had ridden up a little and I could se all
the way up to his tan line.
	I got to my feet and away from him, tying to conceal my erection.  I f he
noticed he gave no indication.
	"Man, my dad is gonna kick my ass for losing my shirt!" He said.
	"You wanna borrow one?" I asked, "Or we can watch through my window until
they leave, since he will probably leave it behind."
	"Cool, you're right.  He probably won't take my shirt, he probably won't
even notice it."
	So we headed into the house by the back door which opened into the kitchen.
	"Want something to drink?" I asked.
	"Yeah, water please.' He said "This place is cool, man.  Did you know
someone died here?"
	"Oh, yeah right. I forgot.   Did you kill the person?  Let me guess, the
persons bedroom is mine now, right?"
	"Dude, I'm serious.  It was a long time ago- like sixty years, but it's all
true."
	"Whatever, man," I said as I handed him a glass of water," I'll let you
know if anything goes bump in the night."
	He shrugged and wandered into the living room.
	"Look, man, I don't have any reason to lie, it's just what I heard.  This
place is so cool, though." He gave me a sly smile, "Hey, let's go up to your
room."
	"Um, ok. Sure. Follow me." I stammered.  Was that something there?  Or was
he just fooling around?  Ok this was new territory, how do I act now?
	We went up the stairs and into my room.  Still cluttered from the move, and
I figured I would use that excuse for about the next six months to explain
the mess as I am not a neat person.
	"Whoa, check out the science project!  What was it?  OJ?"
	"Urine sample." I deadpanned.
	"EWW, gross," he winced in mock horror, "don't you know you are supposed to
give those to the nurse when you are done?"
	"Oops, knew I missed something.  What a relief it is to have you, I really
needed someone to point out the finer points to me." I said, dripping with
sarcasm.
	"That's my job," He said as he flopped on my bed (On my bed!), "Thinking
about the things you miss in daily life and coming around once in a while to
tell you what it is.  Next time I will try to point it our before it becomes
self aware.  I think it's moving."
	Kyle examined my glass, and as he leaned over his locks drew down over his
face.  He used his fingers to brush his hair away. Click, another image.
	"Oh, man," he moaned, " he found my shirt.  Damn."
	"I got one, hold on." I said as I started rummaging through my drawer.  I
was suddenly aware of a warm caress on my neck, like sweet breath.  I
stiffened.
	"H Here you go," I said, turning around.
	"Oh, thanks," He said, GETTING UP OFF MY BED.
	What the hell was that?
	"Hey, man, what'r you doin tomorrow, besides jackn off?" He smirked.
	" Nothin much, why?" I asked, heart in a triphammer in my chest.
	"Cause my dad got gift coupons for the movies, and he doesn't like Tim
Allen.  So I was wondering if you want to go to the movies." He grinned
again, "So, is it a date?"
	I gaped at him.  A date?  Did he say that?  My astonishment must have shown
on my face.
	"Hey, don't get excited, I didn't mean a real date or nothin.  Jeez, you
have no sense of humor do you?" he said.
	"Sure I do.  Best joke I heard all day was about your dick." I said,
pleased with my recovery.
	"Too bad you heard it from your girlfriend." He smirked.
	Damn, got me good.  We burst out laughing.
	"So?  You'll call me and let me know, right?" he asked.
	"No, I most certainly will not." I said, sternly, "It is impossible to
call someone if you don't know their number."
	"Ok wise guy, get me a pen or something.  Man, what a smart ass." He said

	The rest of the night was spent in anticipation of the next day.  Oh, man.
This whole thing was screwy.  I mean messy.  I mean, damn, it was just
complicated.  I had liked other friends before, but not like this.  How do I
deal with this?  I mean, what kind of conclusion could I reasonably hope
for?  Was he more to me as a friend or lover?  Well, that was kind of hard
to answer, since he seemed like a good friend, but I hadn't known him as a
lover. I decided to take a walk.
	The park is quiet at night, so my thoughts were the loudest thing
happening.  As I approached the basketball court my shoe seemed to pick up
weight.  I stopped and glanced down.  Something was on my shoe, so I stooped
over to pick it up.  Cloth, but shredded. Must be Kyle's shirt.
	"Boy, he sure did trash that n', didn't he?  Must a tore that shit up for
more n' ten minutes, he was so pissed." Came a soft, yet rough voice.
	"Julius, what'r you doing here?" I asked.
	"Same thing your doin, mostly.  Thinking.  Difference is you'll go home,
and I am already there."
	"Oh, I didn't realize you lived here.  I'm sorry."
	"For what?' He said, "I have a house, I just choose not to got there.  This
is my home now.  It is more than I deserve, really."
	"What do you mean?" I asked.
	"No matter.  Long ago and far away.  What thoughts bring you out tonight
Master Justin?  Wouldn't be Kyle Pritchard's shirt, would it?"
	"What? No, why would I want his shirt?" I asked, perhaps a little too
quickly.
	"Oh, nothing.  Just thought you might want to, well, give it back to him.
Another opportunity to talk, you know." He said in a far off voice, as if he
were day dreaming.
	"We talked plenty this afternoon, "I said, getting nervous, but not sure
why, "As a matter of fact we are going to the movies tomorrow night!"
	"Oh, first date already?  Wow, you are good." He winked as he started to
move away.
	"Dammit, Julius, what is that supposed to mean?  Will you just be straight
with me?  I mean everything you say seems to have a double meaning and it is
pissing me off!  Are you trying to be my friend, or are you just giving me a
mindfuck?" I hissed, amazed at the voracity of my words.
	"Mindfuck?," He mused, turning the word over, seeming to taste it as it
rolled from his mouth, "Mindfuck.  Is that an erotic daydream?" He asked
petulantly.
	I opened my mouth to retort, but he cut me off.
	"Ok, maybe I have been a little cryptic.  But so have you.  I mean, if I
tell you I'm gay, and I don't mean happy, will you admit that as well?" He
demanded.
	I was taken a back at this turn of events.  How did he know?  And how
should I respond?  I mean, damn again!  Do I admit to him?  Will he expect
something from me or what?  I was sure I wasn't going to have my first time
with Kyle, but I sure didn't want Julius either.  On the other hand, what
could it hurt?  Who was he going to tell?
	"I will answer that if you answer some questions of mine." I finally said.
	"Ok, now we are getting somewhere.  Ask away." He retorted.
	"How did you know?  I thought no one knew how I feel inside.  What gave me
away?  You have to understand, " I said, hearing the whine enter my voice
and being powerless to stop it, "I can't allow this to get out.  I haven't
even started school here yet and already I would be labeled and get beat on.
  Plus I never told anyone before.  So, how did you know?"
	"Well, "He drawled, "It was an educated guess.  I see you up in your winda,
almost every day until you came to the park today.  I saw you watch the
court, so I figured either you love B-Ball, or you love watching the guys.
And then I see you watch Kyle go home at night.  Others too, but if he was
there, always him.  You got this pecking order, kinda grew out over a few
days.  Kyle, then Matt, then Tony, and Jonathan if noting better was around.
  Plus you kept staring at them while we were talking today, and a teenage
boy only does that when he is interested in something.  And your eyes were
on Kyle.  When he jumped, so did your eyes."
	"I see." I said, quietly. "So I was that obvious?"
	"No, not unless you know what to look for and you have an active
imagination." He grinned a grin that was full of mirth.  I felt at ease
finally, and decided to gamble furthur.
	"So then what are my chances with him?" I asked.
	"Not good to score, but as a friend? Well, lets say you couldn't have made
a better choice if youda planned it."
	I mused over this new piece of information.  That wouldn't be so bad, would
it? I turned to ask Julius his opinion, only to discover him ambling away
again in that stilted gait.  I ran to catch up with him.
	"Hey, Kyle said the weirdest thing to me today," I said, a little out of
breath, "He said someone died in my house. Care to comment?"  This subject
had to be better than my sexuality, but then that conversation was over when
he walked away, wasn't it?
	"Oh, ayup.  Someone sure did die there.  Knew him too.  That's why I walk
here at night, hopin' to hear him.  Hopin' he's at peace.  Hopin' it'll put
me at peace."


Chapter 2
	I awoke the next day after a restless night, dreaming of Julius forever
wandering in the night, looking for some comfort in his heart over the
friend he had lost. His first love, no less.
	I rolled out of bed and tucked my feet into my slippers.  As I made my way
to the kitchen, I could smell bacon and eggs.
	"There you are, I thought I would have to eat all this myself.  Sleep
well?" My dad asked, smiling at me.
	"No, I didn't.  Dad, did you know someone died here?" I asked as I took
down a glass and filled it  with OJ.
	"Well, I had heard the story, yes.  Why?  Is that what was bothering you?"
He asked.
	"Kind of.  I met an old guy in the park who told me the story.  Really
freaky." I said sitting at the table.
	"Well, I heard it was a kid, but that is about it.  What did he tell you?"
He asked.
	"Well, long and short the kid was gay, his father was a fire and brimstone
preacher for the 108th bombadier wing of the fightin bible thumpers, and
when he found out he beat him to death.  This old guy actually knew the kid,
was his friend he says."
	"Wow, that's more detail that I got." He said as he served the food onto
plates. "Do you believe what he said?"
	"Well, he looked old enough, but..well, I don't know." I shrugged.
  "Seems kinda vicious, but then so were those guys in Wyoming that killed
that guy Shepard.  So, who knows. Did you know that there were religeous
nuts like those guys telling anyone who would listen that Shepard was in
hell?" He said, shaking his head.
I brooded over this information in silence, listening to the sizzle of the
bacon.  It was hard to believe people could be so nuts about something,
especially if it was just who you were attracted to.
	"So, I see you made your first friend yesterday, "he said while putting the
plates on the table, "What's his name?"
	"Oh, that's Kyle.  He asked me to the movies tonight, is that ok?" I asked
between mouthfuls.
	"Normally I would say yes, but money is tight right now, Justin." He said
apologetically.
	"He has coupons for free movies, so I don't have to pay.  So can I go?
Please?" I looked at him anxiously.
	"Ok, Ok.  Seems like you've got the based covered on this one.  Are you
coming home, or spending the night?" He asked
	"I'm not sure, but I'll call if he asks.  Is that ok?" I asked, carrying my
plate to the sink.
	"Yeah.  It's good to see you excited again.  Have fun, I have to go to Reno
today so you can have leftovers for lunch.  And please do call and let me
know if you are staying the night, and the phone number where you'll be at."
	"Ok, dad.  Thanks."  I hugged him and headed for my room.  As I neared the
stairs there was knock at the door.  I stopped long enough open the door,
using it to hide the fact that I was in my underwear.
	"Hey, man.  You haven't called.  Are you going tonight or what?" Kyle said.
	"Oh, yeah I'm going, I just asked my dad. I was just going to call you" I
stammered.
	"Cool, so can I come in, or do you want to increase your image by having
people see me on your porch?"  He grinned again.  That grin was infectious.
	"Are you kidding?  Every time you come here the property value drops.  You
need to come in through the back door from now on." I said, opening the door
for him.
	"Oh. That hurt, "He said, "On the other hand, that's the first time a guy
ever asked me to visit his back door.  Especially while he was standing in
his underwear!"
	I reddened and realized that I would need to shower quickly and get dressed
before I got hard.
	"Come on, I have to take a shower." I said.
	"Is that an invitation?" He quipped.
	We laughed and headed up the stairs.  I was really getting nervous, he sure
did make a lot of references.  Was he hinting at something?  Maybe Julius
was wrong about him?  One could only hope.
	As we walked into my room Kyle walked over to the computer. "Hey, got any
good games?"
	"Yeah, "I replied, "Half Life with the Counterstrike add on."
	"Oh, cool! Mind if I hook up to the net to play?" He asked.
	"No prob, the password is 'cyclops'.  Be out in a minute." I said grabbing
a pair of jeans and underwear.
	As I showered I reflected on the past 24 hours.  This was going really
well, and to hell with what Julius had to say, I was getting good signals
from Kyle and I was going to 'go with the flow'.  Although I definitely
hoped they were flowing the way I wanted them too!  All that thinking about
Kyle had raised an issue, and I reached down to address it.  I was not huge,
about 5 1/2 inches, and not super thick, but good sized.  As I watched the
water run down my smooth chest and into the thatch of pubic hair that nested
at the base, I began to slowly stroke my cut cock. I watched my leg muscles
tighten and relax as they kept my balance.  My thoughts turned to Kyle,
beautiful Kyle.  I pictured him jumping, sweat glistening on his skin,
hanging from his nipple.  His shorts riding up as he descended from the
shot.  It was all I could take as my pace quickened and my body stiffened. I
shot my load on the shower floor, thick streams.  I sighed and finished
washing up.   I toweled off and put on the boxer briefs and jeans I took to
the shower with me and stepped into my room.
	"Hey, listen, I forgot my dad wanted me to go to Reno with him today, can
we do this tomorrow or something." Kyle stammered.
	My mind raced, something was completely off.  What was going on?
	"Yeah, sure.  You couldn't have remembered this yesterday?" I asked, a bit
hurt and let down.
	"Sorry, I do it all the time.  I gotta go." He said, brushing past me.
	This sucked so bad, my chest hitched as I heard the door close.  My hands
were eager to do something now, nervous energy coursed through me.  I walked
over to the computer and noticed the browser was still on.  And it was open
to the Nifty site.