Date: Wed, 29 Feb 2012 01:57:27 -0500
From: Ace Spades <mycr137@gmail.com>
Subject: My Complicated Life (Ch 4)

Hey, thanks for readin' :)  Um, so yeah there's not going to be sex in this
story for a little bit, because right now i'm focusing on character
development n' stuff, so sorry if that disappoints you :/  Oh, and i really
don't have this whole story planned out and i'm kinda making it up as i go,
so.. i would appreciate any suggestions :) (please send to mycr137@gmail.com)
I mean, even if you just tell me you hate it and it's the worst thing you
ever read, i would appreciate it, just please tell me your reason for
hating it, lol.  Okay that's all, enjoy :)



The next morning I woke up and found myself lying next to Matt, our arms
still wrapped around each other.  Oh god, this wasn't a dream at all..  I'm
actually lying next to MATT! Of all people!  My fantasy is finally real!
Oh, um, sorry, I just got kinda excited, I mean my life hasn't been all fun
and games, so it's nice to actually `win' for once, ya know?  So yeah, when
I woke up, I didn't dare move.  I just wanted to enjoy the warmth of his
body against mine, the feel of his warm breath against my neck.  I just
laid there and stared at him.  His eye still looked bad..  it looked very
black now and very puffy.  I didn't notice how bad it looked earlier
because it had been so dark, but lying here now, with the sunlight shining
on his face, it was very easy to see ..SHIT! SUNLIGHT!  The sun is never
out when I get ready for school!  Quickly I glanced at the clock.  Dammit,
10:36am..  Well, maybe I'll skip today.. I mean it's only one day, right?
And lord knows Matt could certainly use a break.

So, after deciding that we would be staying home, I mean it's not like we
had a choice, my father wasn't home, and even if he was I'm sure he
wouldn't drive us, I decided to make up some breakfast.  I thought I would
take a shower first though.  I didn't smell that great, from running around
last night, and anyways Matt was still asleep.  So I gently pulled his arms
off of me, and placed them on the bed next to me, then I gently kissed his
forehead and swung my legs off the side of the bed.  The second I jumped
off the bed though, I came crashing to the floor.  I had completely
forgotten about how cut up my feet were, and the pain was just too much
when I tried to stand on them.  And so I fell, very ungraciously, might I
add, and landed with a thud on the ground.  Thankfully Matt didn't stir
though, god, he must have had a really bad night to be this tired.  So, I
put my hand on the corner of the bed, and tried again to stand, but once
again I couldn't put any weight on my feet.  `Just fucking great,' I
thought I as began to crawl.  God, I must look so pathetic right now, but
there was no way I was gonna wake up Matt and make him help me.  `He's been
through enough,' I thought, `I'm here to help him, not the other way
around.'  And so off I crawled to the bathroom, leaving both my and the
bathroom door open, in case he woke up, so I could talk to him.

When I got to the bathroom, I pulled off my clothing, but stopped at my
socks.  I didn't even want to look at my feet, I mean, I bet they looked
bad..  So I decided I would just do it quick and get it over with.  So I
grabbed onto my left sock and pulled it as quick as I could.. bad idea..
The second I did that I gasped from the pain, and felt all of the scabs
that had formed being ripped open, and felt the warm blood beginning to
flow again.  Ugh, how could I have been so stupid?  I should be used to
this after all those times I cut, but of course, I just never learn.  So I
turned on the shower, and got my right foot wet enough so that I could take
off that sock without ripping open those cuts.  Then I kinda, well, just
dragged myself into the bathtub and laid in there, not wanting to try and
get up, and just trying to avoid the pulsing feeling in my feet.
Eventually I was able to clean myself up.. took about fifteen minutes, but
I managed.  So then I pulled myself out and dried myself off, this time
sitting on the edge of the tub.  After I was all dry, I decided I had to
tend to my feet.  I didn't want to, but sadly, it had to be done.  So I
grabbed onto the side of the bathtub, next to where I was sitting, and
forced myself to stand.  The second I was off the ground, my vision started
to get all fuzzy and I was seeing black spots, but I just squeezed my eyes
shut and waited for the feeling to pass.  Then I staggered over to the
sink, and pulled one leg up, resting my foot in the sink.  Then I turned on
the water and thoroughly washed out the lacerations on the bottom, swearing
generously as I did so.  After doing the same to the other foot, I got some
gauze and medical tape out of the cabinet (before she died, my mother was a
nurse and used to stock the house with that stuff), and wrapped up each of
my feet.  Then I wrapped my towel around my waist and limped back into my
room.

When I got there, Matt was still sleeping, still looking just as cute as
ever.  I quickly pulled on some underwear, before he woke up, and then a
pair of jeans I had tossed on my computer chair earlier.  Then I put on my
studded leather belt, which was still loose on me, even at its tightest
setting, and pulled on a plain black shirt, for once not bothering to put
on a sweatshirt.  It was nice, not having to worry about my arms; I really
loved him for that.  Then I sat down at my computer chair and gently
brushed my damp hair while staring at Matt.  Okay, that makes me sound
creepy, but when you have one of the most gorgeous people in the world
sleeping in your bed, you try not to stare!

Eventually I decided I may as well start making us breakfast, so, very
carefully I got up, inhaling sharply as the pain shot up my legs, and
staggered over to the bed, where I tucked Matt in and kissed him lightly on
his tan forehead, brushing away his straight black hair as I did so.  I
couldn't help but be jealous over his hair.. I mean, he never has to dye
it!  Whereas I'm spending a night every freaking months pouring chemicals
in my hair. He also has the best haircut; his hair stops right above his
eyes and is cut in a jagged fashion, always angled to the left.  The rest
of his hair is layered and probably about three inches long, so it's not
long enough to reach his shoulders, but not short enough to expose his
ears.  Oh.. I'm getting sidetracked again..  Well don't judge!  Like I said
before, you try not staring!

So yeah, breakfast.  I cracked some eggs n' stuff, you know, I won't bore
you with the details of making eggs.  I was about five minutes into frying
when I heard Matt calling my name from the other room.

"I'm in the kitchen.. Can you get up?" I called, waiting for a reply.  But
none came, there was only silence.  So, I turned off the burner, and
quickly made my way back to my room.  When I looked over at him, he was
lying on his side, facing the wall, and shaking.  As I got closer I
realized he was crying, so, very carefully, I got on the bed with him, and
gently put my arm over his bruised side.  I didn't say anything, but just
laid there hugging him.  I figured if he wanted to talk, he would talk, but
I wasn't going to force anything out of him.  Eventually though, I just got
too concerned to stay silent any longer.

"I'm here. It's going to be okay." I whispered, holding him closer.

"I love you.." He said quietly, slowly rolling over to look at me.  I
couldn't help but notice the tears slowly falling from his eyes, and so I
gently reached over to rub them away.  I didn't say it back though; I just
hugged him more tightly, and let him cry quietly into my shoulder.  We laid
there for about ten minutes, he crying and I hugging him, then I finally
decided to speak.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, gently pulling his head away from
my shoulder so I could look into his eyes.  He just stared at me, tears
still falling from his dark brown eyes.

"If you ever need to, I will listen, okay?" I asked.  He remained silent,
but just nodded his head very slightly.

"Are you hungry?" I asked him, hoping I could sidetrack him from his
problems. Again he just nodded.  So, I sighed, and slowly pulled away from
him and jumped off my bed, flinching when I hit the ground, completely
forgetting my feet.

"FUCK!" I yelled.. okay maybe I'm a little dramatic, but that hurt!  It
seems as quickly as I spoke, Matt was at my side, his eyes huge.. well.. as
large as they could be.  Okay shut up!  You can't expect me not to make at
least one Asian joke.. I'm not racist though, his eyes are reeeealy cute..

"I'm okay," I said, "Just got a little cut up from last night."  And as I
said it, tears started forming in his eyes again.  Oh fuck, why couldn't I
have just made something up?  Of course he's going to blame himself.

"Uh.. let's just go eat, okay?" I said, grabbing onto his arm and pulling
him to the door.

"..I'm sorry" he said quietly while looking up at me.

"It's not your fault, I love you." I said, pulling him into a hug, "Now
let's go eat."