Date: Thu, 8 Jan 2015 13:53:50 +0000 (UTC)
From: Aaron Hull <wah.stories@yahoo.com>
Subject: My Name is Connor: Chapter 03

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	I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I
haven't had time to write something like this in forever so it was pretty
fun. Other stories by me include One or the Other, Gavin's Got Game,
Hayden's Story, Shawn's Turn, Teddy Bear, and the After Party. The first
five are found here in the gay highschool section and the latter two are
in the gay college section. If you do enjoy reading this, you can contact
me at wah.stories@yahoo.com.

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	Spencer and I were at our favorite coffee shop, Solidarity, the
Friday before the show; it had become a tradition of ours. Most of the
others would be home going over their lines but Spencer and I wanted to
soothe our souls and collect ourselves the day before, we wouldn't be able
to do anything if we were stressed.

	Spencer took a sip of her French vanilla iced coffee. "So, how are
you and Micah?" Shortly after Troye dropped me off on Monday, I called
Spencer and brought her up to speed with everything that's happened so far,
even the whole boxer thing.

	"We're good. I saw him on Wednesday. We just hung out, nothing
special." I went over to Micah's and met his family. He had already come
out to them and they all automatically assumed I was his boyfriend. It was
kinda embarrassing but it was nice to know that if it does happen, his
parents will treat me like a son.

	"Are you all dating yet?"

	"Nope. We're taking it slow. I didn't want to jump into a
relationship going into the musical. I didn't think it would be a smart
idea."

	"Well that's cute. I'm glad you finally have a cutie like him in
your life."

	"I've always had a cutie in my life. You and I met when we were
little."

	Spencer just rolled her eyes. "You are the best fake boyfriend a
girl could ever ask for."

	"I know I am. Hopefully I'll be the best real boyfriend soon."

	"You really like Micah, don't you? Not only do you smile every time
I say his name, but you've been swirling your mocha and caramel swirl so
much it's no longer a swirl."

	I looked down sure enough and I was still stirring my drink with my
straw, I hadn't taken a sip of it yet. "He's sweet. I don't know if it's
going to work out but I want to see what happens. I remember when you
started talking to Lauren. You bought a lot of bras `for yourself' and your
boobs were basically out of all of your shirts and dresses."

	Spencer let out a small laugh; I could tell that she was reflecting
on that time. "Yeah. I definitely went the extra mile to impress her.  Just
promise me you'll be careful, Con. I've talked to him a couple times and I
think he's sweet too. It's just...you know me? I like to be in control of
everything and I can't control the way he treats you."

	"But you don't care about mine and," I realized what I was about to
say would definitely be something I would regret saying tomorrow morning so
I had to think on the spot, "mine and Patrick's friendship?"

	She smirked. "Oh sweetie, I own his ass. He knows better than to
fuck with you. And just so you know, I did have the talk with Micah already
and I may have scarred him."

	"Spencer!"

	"What?" Spencer smiled. "I do these things out of love."

	I couldn't help but smile along with her. Last year I would have
been so upset with her but at this point, I was so used to Spencer and her
desire to be in control. That quality about her is what made me fake fall
in love with her.

	"Are you still going to Troye's game tomorrow?" This was the topic
that we always avoided. Spencer definitely disagreed with all of this but
after hours of arguing with her, she decided to leave it alone.

	"Yeah. I'm not really sure what people wear to basketball games. Do
you?"

	"Just wear regular clothes, Con. Nothing special is needed for
sporting attire. Bring something for the after party because we are
rehearsing as soon as the game ends. You are not going to have any time to
head home."

	I had never attended one of the theater after parties up to this
point. They never sounded appealing to me but this year Patrick and Spencer
told me I have to go to this once since I have a lead role.

	"I promise I will be there. We will be the couple of the year." I
put my hands out and held hers. "You may be the head turner but I'm going
to be the one that keeps their attention."

	She took her hands out from under mine. "We will see about that. I
am going to be both of those. You are just going to be my cute arm candy to
keep the guys away."

	"You know, most divas would love the attention of guys. You're just
special, I guess."

	"Sweetie, we're both special." Spencer then stood up and grabbed
her bag. "I need to get going. I need to go shopping. Wanna come?"

	I stood up to head out with her and grabbed my bag. "No. Why do you
need to go shopping? You went to the mall last week."

	"I need a dress for tomorrow night. What else would I wear to the
party?"

	"You have at least thirty dresses in your closet that would work."

	"Connor. I've already worn all of them. I'm not going to let people
see me in one of them a second time. Are you insane?"

	Sadly, she was serious. "I think you're the one that needs to see a
doctor. You are addicted to shopping."

	"There is no such thing as a shopping addiction, Connor. That's
just a way for psychologists made up to make more money."

	"Whatever." The two of us paid for refills and left the coffee
shop. I was just about to make up an excuse for why my mom wasn't out there
when both Spencer and I saw a familiar car with a familiar face
approaching.

	Spencer just rolled her eyes. "Looks like your chauffer is here."

	"Hey Connor." Troye said. "I was waiting for you at the school and
you never came out so I decided to drown my sorrows in coffee."

	"I'm so sorry! I forgot to tell you I'd be going here with Spencer
today." I really did feel bad. We hadn't even been friends a week and I had
already ditched him by accident.

	Troye seemed to just notice her when I said her name, I'm guessing
he was also trying to play the game where they don't acknowledge each
other. "Hi, Spencer. It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

	Spencer smiled, I was so happy she didn't give him the death
glare. Then the Spencer I knew showed herself. "It could have been longer."

	I just stared at her in disbelief. Troye was obviously thrown back
but he seemed less shocked. Spencer then turned to address me. "I'll see
you tomorrow after the game. Don't stay too long."

	Once she was gone, I turned back to Troye. "I'm so sorry for
that. She was totally out of line with that comment."

	"It's cool. That's how I thought you would react to me trying to be
your friend again. At least she isn't hiding her real feelings about me."

	"Were you really waiting outside the school for me?" I wanted to
change the subject. Spencer and Troye were definitely two people who needed
to remain on two completely different planets.

	"Yes. And just so you know, I wasn't stalking you. I really was
going to go get some coffee. I can get it to go if you still want a
ride..."

	"Are you sure?"

	"Of course! I'd do anything for your trust, remember?" I followed
Troye back into Solidarity so he could get something for himself.

	"Since you brought that up, you're coming to the musical tomorrow,
right?"

	"I wouldn't miss it for anything." He winked when he said this and
I could feel a part of myself melt. I knew feeling that way wasn't
right. Micah and I are just now starting whatever we have and I should
focus all my attention on him. But I just can't shake this crush yet, even
though it's hopeless.

	"Well good. I really did save you a seat in the front row so I will
know if you're there or not."

	"Oh really? I honestly didn't think you would do that. Now I do
have to come up with a better excuse than you just couldn't see me in the
middle rows."

	"I planned on asking you questions about the musical so you
couldn't do that anyways."

	"I'm not as dumb as you think I am, Con." He was definitely
imitating Spencer when he called me Con, she's the only person who says
it. "I would have rented the movie somewhere and watched it."

	"And you think I'm stupid? I would ask you questions about the
things we changed from the movie."

	Troye then ordered his basic white boy drink and we were on our
way. At every stop sign and stop light on the way to my house, Troye would
take a slow sip of his drink, turn to face me, and say some of the corniest
things I've heard in a long time. I couldn't help but laugh at some of the
things but for the most part I just rolled my eyes and he laughed. It was
nice having him around again. I know being friends in high school is
different than being friends in elementary school, such as the things you
do and the things you talk about, but that first week of us hanging out
again was nothing less that amazing.

	After he dropped me off, nothing special really happened. I did get
to spend some quality time with my sister, Sophie, but other than that it
was a dull afternoon. It didn't take me long to fall asleep that night, I
was more than ready for Saturday to happen; my first basketball game and my
first lead role. How else could the day get any better?

~ ~ * ~ ~

	"Let's go, badgers!" A random woman shouted from the bleachers.

	I had just gotten into the gym and there were people everyone,
people I didn't even know existed. They were all talking amongst each
other, jumping in and out of conversations around them. It was so weird to
me. I was used to obvious divisions between who talked to who. Sometime
there was a little blur in the cases of me and Micah and Spencer and
Lauren, but those were special cases. Here it seemed like there was no
pecking order and you could talk to whoever you wanted to.

	I got something to eat from the concession stand, a bag of chips
and a drink, and went to find a place to sit. Troye said that if I wanted
to see the game the best, I should sit close to the half court line. Going
into this I knew very little about basketball but I at least understood
that half court was the middle of the gymnasium.

	I sat closer to the top of the bleachers in a spot that was distant
from other people. Since Troye is the only one I know in this entire place,
I decided not to awkwardly sit next to anyone and allow people to awkwardly
sit next to me.

	Thankfully the people who ended up sitting around me weren't really
jocks but they weren't drama geeks either. I tried not to listen in on
their conversations too much but when you have no one to talk to there's
nothing left to do. They obviously went to Clay Central and this made me
happy because I then had a way to figure out when I needed to cheer.

	Eventually the basketball team came out and the bleachers
erupted. People were screaming. People were clapping. People were
stomping. People were doing a combination of the three. I was so thrown off
that I awkwardly sat there and took everything I; I knew from the get go
that I would be very awkward in this setting so it didn't bother me.

	When the game started, I noticed that Troye was going to be
starting the game, I then realized what he meant by the starting line. The
game commenced and the cheering ensued. The student section was going
crazy, making sure that everyone was hyped up. The cheerleaders were doing
their thing and I thought it was kind of interesting. I knew it was my gay
side coming out but if I were to join the jock world it would probably be
through cheerleading.

	Once the buzzer for halftime buzzed, we were up by ten
points. Everyone on Clay Central's side of the gym was ecstatic. The
cheerleaders ran out onto the court but before they started anything I
decided it was time for me to empty my bladder and refill my drink.

	As I was nearing the concession stand, a pair of arms wrapped
around me and I was immediately drenched in the person's sweat. I was about
to shout but I realized that the only person who would acknowledge my
existence at this game would be Troye.

	"I'm so glad you made it. How'd I do?" He asked as he let me go.

	I turned to face him and he was still panting and red-faced. "To be
honest, I'm not really sure. I think you were doing great out there though,
you had the ball a lot."

	He just laughed. "Yeah, that's a good thing. Are you enjoying
yourself?"

	"Don't tell anyone but it's not as bad as what I thought. I was
half expecting some nerd sacrifice at the beginning."

	"You missed the sacrifice? Man. I was the one who got to gut him
too. Don't worry though, they got it on video."

	I couldn't help but laugh. "No thanks, I've seen enough guts in my
life."

	"When have you seen guts?" He looked really confused. I was
definitely no science person and even if I was, our board is very Christian
so we don't do many dissections here.

	"None. And I plan to keep it that way."

	"Smart ass." We awkwardly just stood there as people walked around
us. "Well I gotta go. I'll see you later tonight, okay?"

	"Okay."

	And with that he bounced back over to where the other players
were. For the first time since I had gotten here, people seemed to realize
I existed. No one talked to me, but now that they saw me and Troye talking,
they realized I wasn't dared to show up to this thing or something.

	After my piss and refill, the game started up again. I tried
keeping up and I did a lot better than I did in the first half, but to my
avail I was lost when the fourth quarter started and the fouls were piled
on. I heard some people around me talking and bonus and double bonus and I
was just confused.

	The only time during the game that I was actually excited at and
knew what I was doing was when Troye threw the ball from half court, like
he said he would, with seconds left on the clock and it went it. It was the
game winning shot and everyone erupted. If I wasn't there, I would have
never believed that I could get so excited for something so not me.

	I wanted to congratulate Troye but the student section rushed the
court and there was no way I could get to him. I knew Spencer and the
others would be expecting me any second now so I went ahead and left. Troye
told me he would see me later so hopefully I would. I went to his game so
now, metaphorically, the ball is in his court and it's his turn to live up
to his side of the deal.

	I rushed over to the auditorium which is on the other side of
campus and there were only a few people there who were working
tech. Eventually Spencer and some of the actors and dancers showed up so I
was able to start going over lines.

	Whenever I wasn't the one who was supposed to be talking, I would
occasionally glance over and watch Patrick with the dancers. Like I had
guessed, he didn't have a phone for the 24 hours leading up to this show so
his dancers were all freaking out. Thankfully Micah was on Patrick's side
and helping him calm them down. He looked so cute all dressed up.

	A short while before the show was about to begin, Spencer pulled me
into her "dressing room," it's actually a large janitor's closet that they
no longer used so she decided to convert it. The entire time we've been
here, we've only been able to talk shop. I could tell if we didn't have
some one on one, she would probably explode.

	"Did you have fun at the game?" Spencer was sneering, she was
positive that I would have a horrible time.

	"It' actually wasn't that bad. Definitely not my crowd but the
atmosphere was intense. Troye is going to have to explain some things to
me. I don't understand the point system at all."

	Spencer rolled her eyes. "For someone who can name everyone who won
a Tony in 1983, you are pretty stupid. And how do you think Micah would
feel about you and Troye getting all sweaty together."

	"Well since Troye is straight, I don't think Micah would mind. He
is definitely not the jealous type."

	"You need to date a guy whose skin I can get under. It would make
my life less stressful and much more enjoyable."

	"That would make my life less enjoyable, I like seeing you all
stressful. Stressful Spencer is a lot less scary than happy Spencer. If
everything is working out for you then something bad is happening to
someone in the world."

	Spencer rolled her eyes. She then faced her mirror and started to
apply her lipstick. "You think you are so funny, don't you?"

	"As a matter of fact, I know I'm quite hilarious."

	"Is this a bad time?" We both turned to see Micah at the door.

	"Not at all!" Spencer said, her smile widened. "I'll leave you two
alone. I need to go make sure Lauren has the correct cue sheet, I can't
risk any fiascos out there tonight." Spencer then turned to me. "I hope
you're ready for your first kiss. With me. Out there. Tonight."

	Micah just kinda stood there, blushing. My jaw was on the floor, I
couldn't believe she would say that. I had no idea how to recover from
that. All I knew was that I was going to push her off stage. It may ruin
the musical but it'd be worth it.

	"So," Micah started to say, "I just wanted to wish you luck."

	"Thanks. Good luck to you too."

	"Are you going to the party after this?"

	"Yeah. I kinda have to go. You know how Spencer gets, she would
probably kill me if I ruined her plans."

	"Yeah. I had to learn the hard way. Thanks for the warning and
all."

	I was scared he was mad but when I looked up into his eyes, I could
see him smiling. "I would have warned you but, you know, she probably would
have killed me. She likes to have the element of surprise when she corners
her prey."

	He just laughed. "I can't believe you would date her."

	"She's pretty cool once you get to know her."

	"I'd really like to." I hadn't notice until that point but Micah
and I had been slowly moving towards each other. Micah was in far enough to
shut the door to the room.

	"I'd like it too." We kinda just stood there. We both knew that the
musical was starting any minute but nothing really mattered. We were too
infatuated with each other to give a shit. "You know, you look really cute
right now."

	Micah averted his eyes and just stared at the ground. "Thanks."

	"No." I used my hand to lift his chin. "Thank you." I then did
it. I leaned in. All the way. My lips. His lips. I kissed him.

	Micah was obviously shocked but he kissed back once he had finally
realized what I was doing. I then kinda pushed him up against the door and
we began to make out. It was amazing. I don't know what made it amazing,
but it was. I had never experienced something like that. I wanted more.

	Before I could say or do anything, there was a bang on the door. "I
know you two are enjoying yourselves but we need everyone now!" It was
Spencer so we weren't too scared.

	I had to apologize. "Sorry about that. I couldn't let Spencer be my
first kiss."

	"It's okay. I don't blame you."

	Micah and I then joined the others to hear the same speech
Ms. Dennis' gives before every performance.  It was a tear jerker for the
newbies but for those who have heard it multiple times now, we just smiled
and nodded.

	Minutes later, it was show time. We were starting the show with a
big number; Remember My Name. One of the seniors, Grace Kittredge, was the
lead but both Spencer and I were a part of the number too. This gave me the
perfect opportunity to see if Troye was there.

	The lights were all off as we ran onto stage to find our spots so I
couldn't see any of the audience. The music then began and the lights came
up. Since I actually had to perform, I couldn't look out there immediately,
I had to wait for the most opportune moment. When it came, I knew it was
too good to be true. The seat was empty. It was a quick glance, but I could
read his name on the piece of paper reserving the seat for him.

	I couldn't let it get to me. At least not while on stage. I quickly
pushed it to the back of my mind and continued on with the piece. As it
ended, the lights died down once more and we all shuffled again to be where
we had to be, most of whom had to change into their audition clothes.

	When I had reached my locker back stage, I almost broke down. I
don't know why it mattered to me so much. It was just a show and he's just
a friend. If he's serious about being friends again then there are plenty
of more shows for him to sit through.

	"You did great out there." Patrick said as he came up and hugged
me. "You okay?"

	"Yeah. It's just, you know, it's finally happened. All this work
and I finally get to show the world what I've down with all you losers."

	Patrick smiled and whenever he smiled, I couldn't help but smile
too. "You are so sentimental, you know that?"

	"Shut up and go put on your leotard."

	"It's a unitard, thank you very much." And with that, he left me
alone with myself.

	I wasn't on for a while so after I had changed, I sat on the side
and watched the performance. So far, everything was going great. It really
was nice seeing all this work we've put in finally be shown but at the time
none of that really mattered. The one person I was hoping to impress wasn't
out there.

	It was finally my turn to go out there and show the world that I'm
the best Marco they will ever see. When I first went out, I was focused on
the front row, but this time, I saw that the entire auditorium was
filled. Every seat out there was pack. This is what I lived for. Not one
person who broke a promise. I live to entertain the masses. Or at least I
hope that's my calling in life. If not I may need to reevaluate my life
plan.

	Everything was going fantastic. I had forgotten all about
Troye. That is, until I caught a glimpse of the same seat. This time, it
wasn't empty. I immediately recognized his stupid face and his stupid
smile. I so badly wanted to go down there and punch him. At the time, Troye
missing however much he missed was a big deal to me and I was now furious
at him now for making me feel the way I did.

	Needless to say, I didn't. I remained in character and got through
the rest of the scene. After that one was done, Spencer and I were done for
the next twenty minutes or so. We sat back and watched everyone else do
their thing.

	One of my favorite scenes, the CarnEvil Dance, wowed the audience
just as much as I thought it would. In the movie, the performance put on by
the dancers was less than a minute, but with the amazing choreography of
none other than Patrick Reeves, full time dancer and part time asshole
friend, we were able to extend the number. I absolutely loved it, and it
wasn't because both Patrick and Micah were in it, although they were
definite pluses.

	When it was finally my turn to go on stage again, it was time for
me to sing Try. For all of those who haven't seen the movie, it is a very
beautiful love song Marco sings to Jenny. Or course we altered the number
some and it was a duet so Spencer could sing some of it, I didn't mind that
at all, our voices went great together. When the song ended and Spencer and
I shared our stage kiss, people cheered, louder than they probably should
have. Only two shouts stood out to me. One was from Micah, standing close
enough for me to see me but not the audience, I couldn't help but smile at
him. The other was Troye. He was standing up and cheering the loudest out
of anyone, now that I've gone to a game I can see why he'd be the loudest.

	After that number, things continued on and the musical was a
success. I couldn't believe how great everything was going, this really was
the best performance yet. Even Ms. Dennis agreed and she had seen I don't
know how many school plays in her lifetime.

	The end of the play was nearing and it was time for me, Spencer,
and Grace to sing the last song. Since this number was supposed to be the
big performance at the end of the year in the musical, almost ever singer
and dancer were out there, and trust me it was amazing.

	After we had gone out for our standing ovations and the curtains
had dropped, we all ran back stage to get ready for the party. Macy's
parents coincidentally plan a weekend getaway that starts right after
opening night so her place is where everyone goes. I'm pretty sure her
parents know what goes on and don't want to get in the way of Macy, who can
get even scarier than Spencer if she wanted to.

	Lauren took me, Spencer, and Patrick out to Macy's. The entire ride
there, all we could talk about was how great the show went. When Spencer
said the word cue, both Patrick and I started to scream at her and make her
shut up, the last thing we needed was Spencer critiquing her girlfriend and
started World War Lesbian in front of me and Patrick.

	When we got there, everything was already in full swing. The party
was open to more than just the drama club so the place was packed. We
entered the house and Patrick immediately dragged me into the kitchen,
leaving Spencer and Lauren with some other chicks.

	"You want something to drink?" Patrick asked me. He opened up the
refrigerator and pulled out some Mike's Hard Lemonades.

	I knew he and Spencer drank some when they came to these things but
I had no desire. "No thank you. Does she have any water?"

	Patrick smiled and dug in the fridge some more. He pulled out a
water and handed it to me. "How am I supposed to be a bad influence on you
when you won't do anything bad?"

	"I don't know. Maybe you should step up your game some more."

	Patrick smiled and his eyes glistened. "You know, all the cool kids
drink. Even your boxer buddy."

	"In that case..." I then flipped him off and he laughed. Instead of
congratulating me on starting something with Micah, Patrick continued to
tease me about Troye. I tried to not let it get to me but if only he knew
he did pluck at some heart strings every time he mentioned Troye's name,

	We returned to our lovely ladies and joined the conversation they
were in. It was nice being in a different kind of scenery with these
people. Usually when we were together, it was business, now I actually got
to get to know some people I had never really talked to, like Heather and
Justin. They were both sophomores and have been around as long as I have.

	About fifteen minutes later, the music stopped. Everyone went dead
silent. I was more than confused, the basketball game made more sense to me
at the time. I noticed that everyone was staring at the door and when I
turned to see what was going on, I saw the freshman. I had completely
forgotten that the freshman show up together to the first party.

	The crowd of high schoolerss then separated like the Red Sea and
there was a path from the doorway to the middle of the room. The freshman
weren't confused like me. They were straight up scared. When they reached
the center, the Red Sea closed and left a large circle around the freshman.

	"Welcome to the family!" One of the seniors shouted. That was
followed by everyone at the party shouting right back at him. The music
then resumed and everyone swarmed the freshman, hugging them and
congratulating them for their first performance. This made me wish I had
attended a party last year, even if it would have initially scared me
shitless.

	The party then resumed. Spencer and I danced together, like any
normal couple would. I made sure there was no grinding or anything
provocative because I knew who my ride was and I knew I'd be walking home
if there was any contact with our no-no zones.

	Somehow in all the madness called the dancefloor, I ended up
dancing with Patrick. Neither of us were really scared because there were
multiple "couples" who were just friends goofing off. It was a lot of fun
dancing like an idiot with him, the worst and most embarrassing part would
have to be when he decided to dance on me instead of with me. Of course
everyone who wasn't plastered was cheering him on. I tried getting away but
I couldn't move, some of the older guys made sure of that. It may have been
embarrassing but it was also some of the most fun I had ever had so I
didn't really mind being held there.

	After that was over and I was able to go get another drink, I ran
into Micah, who was talking to some of the senior dancers. Kevin, one of
the out gay guys, was definitely flirting with him. I wanted to say
something, but knew that I couldn't. Doing so would out both me and him. It
would also affect Spencer and make people question her close friendship
with Lauren.

	"Jealous, aren't we?" I heard a female voice say.

	I turned to see it was Macy. "What are you talking about?"

	She sneered. "You think I'm stupid? I've seen the way you look at
him. You have a thing for him don't you?" I think my silence spoke louder
than anything because her smile widened. "I promise I won't break the news
to Spencer that she's dating a fag."

	I can't describe the pain. It felt like there was a hole in
me. Macy had ripped something out of my chest and I didn't know what to
do. I just stood there, hurting. I wanted to run outside and cry and
scream. I also wanted to grab her by her hair and slam her head against the
wall behind me.

	"Remember this, Phillips. Whenever you try to upstage me again, I
will use this against you. I refuse to let a lowly little sophomore steal
my spotlight. Do you understand?"

	I don't know why, but I nodded. I didn't want to. Like I said,
there were other things I wanted to do, other things I wanted to say. I
couldn't though. I don't know why. I just couldn't do anything other than
nod.

	Macy seemed content with my brainless nodding and then walked
away. Once she was out of my sight, I immediately felt like throwing up. I
ran outside and sure enough I started to throw up. Thankfully I didn't get
a crowd and I was able to walk away from the now vomit-covered rose bush.

	I couldn't go back in there. I knew Macy would play nice in front
of people, but I couldn't pretend everything was alright and I'm an actor
for crying out loud. I decided to do the only thing that seemed like a
solution at the time.

	About thirty minutes later, I could see him walking over to
me. "Are you okay?" Troye asked me.

	"Yeah. I just...I need to go home. Lauren brought me here but I
don't want to ruin her fun." I wasn't telling him or myself the full truth
though. I didn't think I could tell anyone inside the party what has
happening. For some reason, all my trust lied in Troye.

	"Okay. Come on."

	Troye could tell something was wrong. During the ride, neither of
us said anything. I made sure to text Spence and tell her than I has gotten
sick and I had gotten someone to take me home. Other than that, both Troye
and I just sat there.

	When we got to my place, I kinda just sat there it the passenger
seat. I didn't know how to say it, but I didn't want Troye to leave me
alone.

	"Do you want me to keep you company for a while?"

	I just looked over at him.

	I'm guessing that was enough because he sighed as he turned his car
off. He then turned me to me and was smiling. "Okay. I'll stay for a
bit. But I'm not carrying your ass in so you better be getting up."

	Somehow I was able to muster up the strength to get out of the car
and walk up to the door, Troye was at my side the whole time. I used my key
and unlocked the door for us. Once in, we went downstairs to my room where
I plopped down on my bed. Troye just stood there facing me.

	"So," Troye said, "What's up? Do you want to talk about it?"

	I looked at him. I wanted to. I really did. I knew I couldn't
though. He was barely able to handle the fact that I wasn't jock, how would
react to me being gay? "I can't. At least not right now."

	"I know this is kind of late but you were amazing in the
musical. I'd go see it a second time if I didn't have to hide in a trench
coat to get into the auditorium."

	Somehow I was able to smile. "You don't have to do that, you know
right?"

	"I think I do. If people saw me-"

	"Why does that matter to you?" I didn't mean to interrupt him or
come off as an asshole, but I definitely did.

	"Because, I'm a jock and-"

	"And what?! You're too good to go see musicals?! Are they too gay
for you and all your jock friends?!" I was suddenly beyond pissed. I'm
guessing most of it was because of Macy but I decided to aim all my anger
at him.

	"Calm down, Connor. I didn't mean-"

	"What?! You didn't mean to hurt my feelings again?! You didn't mean
to make this friendship sound like nothing of value?!"

	"Will you please let me explain?!" The entire time I've known him,
Troye had never yelled. But when he did, he definitely shut me up.

	For a second I thought he was going to punch me so I flinched. When
I opened my eyes, his face was red, but there were tears forming in his
eyes. He wasn't angry. He was sad.

	"I've tried so hard to make this friendship work. You have no idea
how much shit I get for talking to you from the other basketball
players. Today when I gave you a hug in the gym, they made sure to make fun
of me for it. I wasn't going to go to the musical because I knew it' make
everything worse tomorrow but then I thought of how I made you a promise. I
suddenly didn't care about what they had said. I got to the auditorium as
quickly as I could to see my friend sing and act his ass off. You make me
who I want to be, Connor. I don't have to be something else to impress
you."

	Suddenly, all my problems were pushed onto the back burner; the
name Macy had no meaning to me. "Why do you let them tell you what you can
and can't do?"

	"I don't know. I just feel like I always have to. It's how
everything is supposed to be."

	"The way things are supposed to be? Things are supposed to be what
we want them to be. You should always be you, Troye. You shouldn't let
anyone tell you want to do, not even me."

	Troye sat down next to me on my bed. He was crying at this point,
but not too much to continue talking. "That's easy for you to say. You're a
lot tougher than me."

	I smiled. "You think I'm tough?"

	He looked up and me and smiled when he saw me smiling. "Well
yeah. You aren't afraid to be you. I do whatever I'm supposed to do so I
fit in with jocks."

	"I'm not strong, Troye. If I was, I wouldn't have called you
today."

	"Strength isn't just standing up for yourself. It's also knowing
when to admit you can't stand up on your own and get help. Me, I fold under
pressure and let it crush me. I never think of getting help."

	"Well, remember that I'm always here for you. I'm not going to let
anyone tell you what you can and can't do. I don't care how many girls I
have to fight and how many guys I have to have a stern talking to, I will
help you."

	Troye let out a single laugh. "Thanks." We then sat there in the
quiet for a bit. I knew I should tell him what I needed to, but I didn't
want to ruin the moment. He just told me he does whatever the other jocks
think he should do, and they would all leave if their friend told them they
were gay. "Are those my boxers?"

	I looked up and sure enough, he was pointing to him boxers on the
coffee table. "I've been meaning to give those back to you but I kept
forgetting."

	"It's cool. And to be honest, those briefs I borrowed, they feel
really nice. I'm actually wearing them right now." He lowered the waistband
of his shorts a little and I could see the neon green material. I couldn't
help but smile.

	"Can I tell you something?" I wasn't going to tell him my big
secret. I was going to tell him something about his boxers.

	"Sure. What is it?"

	"It's about your boxers." He gave me a weird look. "It's nothing
strange, I promise."

	"Okay, I trust you. So you can trust me."

	"I haven't wanted to give them back to you. The fact that they are
here, I know you and I will remain friends because you will always have at
least one reason to come over. And I don't want to lose you again. I've
lost so much and I don't know if I could handle losing you too."

	I was waiting for him to do what I thought he'd do, laugh and
reassure me we'd be friends no matter what. Instead of hearing his laugh, I
felt his hand on my cheek as he turned me to face him. Instead of hearing
him tell me everything would be okay, I felt his lips against mine as he
kissed me. I was obviously shocked more than anything. It took me a minute
but I began to kiss back.

	We continued to kiss and he eventually laid me down and got on top
of me, continuing to kiss me. I was so lost in the moment. There was
nothing else in the world. No one else existed. It was just me and Troye.
And I loved it. I loved the feeling of our bodies pressed against each
other as five years of crushing hard on someone was finally released.

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	Every time I read a story of Nifty, I never read the top part, so
just in case you are like me and only read the bottom portion if you liked
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please state what story you're referring to. Thanks for reading and I hope
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	I have decided to restart an e-mail list to let you all know when a
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