Date: Thu, 9 Apr 2009 10:13:10 -0200
From: abbillion1@gmail.com
Subject: NOT THAT BAD - CHAPTER 1

THIS STORY IS THE COPYRIGHT OF THE AUTHOR AND MAY NOT BE COPIED ETC.  THIS
STORY IS FICTION AND IN NO WAY APPLIES TO ANY PERSON.

*HIGH SCHOOL*

Not that bad

CHAPTER 1



What is the matter with me?  I asked myself looking into the mirror in my
bathroom.  I saw a 5'4" boy with pitch black hair that was hanging over a
face with high cheekbones, a pretty mouth, a button nose and emerald green
eyes that could flash sparks when I was upset.  Allowing my gaze to wander
further down I saw a skinny and hairless body with a slight Mediterranean
tan.

"See Conner, you're not that bad.  You don't need to hurt yourself."  I
whispered into the mirror as a tear fell down my cheek.  I got my toothbrush
and started to brush my teeth for the third time that morning.



As I made my way down the impressive marble staircase I walked into the
dining room to find my dad already gone with a note on the table.

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY!  YOU'RE GIFT IS IN THE DRIVEWAY! I HAD AN EMERGANCY
MEETING IN NEW YORK CITY. LOVE DAD.



I walked outside and there was a brand new Champagne colored Mercedes Benz
SLK 500 convertible!  Screaming with joy I ran back to my room and dressed
in a pair of Levi Jeans, camel Prada loafers and a cream Gucci T-shirt.
Running back downstairs I told the butler that he could cancel the driver
and rushed to my new car!



I parked my car in the senior parking lot and so enjoyed the envious stares
I got from all those jocks that made my life hell.  I walked into the school
and froze when I heard:  "Happy Birthday, Conner Alexander Montgomery."



I turned around and saw him, the eighteen year old captain and quarterback
of the football team.  All 6'3" was muscled and he had the blonde hair and
blue eyes too.

"Do you want to hit me again, Blake?"  I asked sarcastically flashing him a
look that could freeze hell over.

"No," He mumbled looking at his feet.  ", I want us to be friends again."
He looked at me quickly and then back down at the floor and said: "Maybe
even more."

"You are a sneaky son of a bitch.  You knew my father wouldn't be here and I
would be vulnerable.  Do you really think that I'm going to fall for your
sick little jokes again?"

"When are you going to forgive me?  I was fourteen what did you expect me to
do?"  He asked frustrated.



"You kissed me remember.  I was twelve.  So don't use the age excuse.  If
your brother had come in seconds earlier he would have seen YOU trying to
kiss ME!"  I said angrily.

"I'm so fucking sorry Conner.  Please just forgive me."  He said looking
like he was about to cry.

"Don't cry.  You're a jock remember.  Image is everything that's why you and
your brother told everyone our secret and conveniently left your part in it
out."  I said this last part very sarcastically and then I turned and walked
away back to the parking lot and to my new convertible.

"Let's skip school."  I said to myself and drove off to the movies.

*****

Walking around in the mall after watching Marley and Me, I gazed into the
shop windows.  I passed a toy store that Blake and I had always frequented
before our "little fight".  Surprise, surprise there he was too.  Before I
could turn around and walk away he saw me and came over.

"Hi, Conner."  He said smiling.

"Wipe that fucking smile off of your face you son of a bitch."  I said
rudely then turned and walked out.

"Conner, I know you hate me, but this isn't you.  Don't be like this."  He
said walking after me.

Turning around I replied in my always hoarse sounding voice: "I don't hate
you Blake Cooper.  That would imply I still have feelings for you.  When I
see you I feel nothing.  I feel indifference and you are wrong.  This is the
way I am.  This is the way you made me."

"No, I know that you are still the sweet and loving boy you've always been."

"Wrong again.  Thanks to you my dad hasn't communicated with me other than
threw notes in the last four years.  My mother died a year after that
"incident" and I lost all of my friends.  Pray do tell where you see all of
this love in my life?"

"I'm sorry Conner.  Please I want to earn your forgiveness.  What should I
do?"

"Leave me alone."  I turned around and walked away.

*****

The next day at lunch I was walking towards an empty table with my tray when
I heard Blake loudly saying: "Everyone may I have your attention?"
Everybody was instantly silent and facing him.  He was looking at me and I
knew what he was going to do, but I was frozen and I couldn't move!

"Four years ago, I kissed a boy and then my brother blamed that boy for the
kiss.  I was too scared to do anything and just went with it, but today I
want to tell you all that I kissed Conner Montgomery and that I'm gay and in
love with him."  He and everyone else turned towards me and I went a scarlet
red, dropped my tray and ran from the lunch room.  I hid in the bathroom
till the bell rang and made my way to my next class.



As I entered the classroom, the children looked at me and some of them
greeted me for the first time in years.  I was totally shocked and just went
to my normal place and sat down.  I don't think I heard anything the teacher
said.  Hearing the bell ring I got up and walked away when I saw Blake
waiting for me outside.

He had this cocky look.

"You are a bastard, everything is always about you.  That stunt you pulled
in there was to make you feel better about yourself.  You don't love me.
You can't, because you don't even know me.  Did you know that since your
brother told everyone that I kissed you, my life has been hell?  I can't
sleep more than a couple of hours without waking up in a cold sweat
wondering if I did do it.  I don't eat for days in a row and when I do I
throw most of it up," At this point I was crying and I knew that people were
watching and listening, but I didn't care anymore, "my own father barely
speaks to me and every morning I wake up I have to give myself a pep talk in
the mirror just to make me feel good enough about myself to come to school."

"Conner-" He tried to say something, but his voice broke and I saw unshed
tears in his eyes.

"I can't do this anymore."  I said and walked to my car quickly, getting in
I drove home.

******

Upon arriving home, I was still crying, I walked into the kitchen and
ignored the looks from the servants and grabbed a bottle of red wine.  I
opened it, grabbed a glass and went upstairs.  Since I wasn't use to alcohol
two glasses had me so drunk I could barely walk straight.  That is when I
heard the doorbell ring.  Since the servants were gone at six I left to open
the front door and gasped when I saw Blake there.

"H-hallo." I said and then started to laugh hysterically.  He must have
thought I was going mad.

He started to cry and said: "Conner please," sob, "just hit me or
something," sob, "I'm so," sob, "sorry, I never meant for this to happen."

I started to cry too and that made me angry, because I wanted to hate him,
but I couldn't.  No matter what I had told myself for the past four years I
still loved him.

"I don't want to, but I forgive you."  I said more sober after realizing
that I still loved him.

"But you don't ever hurt me like that again.  OK?"  I said looking up at
him.  Suddenly he looked so sexy I jumped into his arms placing my legs
around his waist as he grabbed my ass and kissed me back.  After a moment I
pulled back saying: "I'm not very good at kissing, since I've never had
practice."

"Bullshit, I used to think about our first kiss all the time, but this one
was very good."  He said smiling lazily.  I lifted my hand gently wiping the
tears from his cheeks and pecked him on the mouth.

"How did everyone react to your being gay?"  I asked rubbing his chest with
my hand.  Walking in he kicked the door closed with his foot and walked up
the stairs still carrying me.

"Surprisingly well.  You know my best friend Matt; well he invited you with
the two of us to go to his parents lodge from tomorrow till Sunday.  We
leave tomorrow morning.  Do you wanna come?"  He asked looking at me
hopefully.

"Really?" I asked tearing up.  "You want me to go?"

"Of course I do.  I know you might not feel the same yet, but I love you."

"Ok, I'll go."  I said feeling uncomfortable talking about love.  I've never
been able to say that, not even to my parents.

"Great.  I'm going to leave now, but I'll pick you up in the morning at 9?"
He asked looking at me.

"Sure."  I said smiling at him.

He leaned in gave my cheek a kiss and walked to the door.  Standing there he
turned around and said: "Thanks."

"For what?"  I asked looking at him confused.

"Giving me another chance and forgiving me."  And with that he left me
sitting there feeling very excited about the trip.

*****

I packed three Louis Vuitton suitcases, not knowing what to bring.  As I
heard the doorbell ring I walked downstairs and opened the door.

"Morning babe."  Blake greeted me and kissed me on the forehead.  "I'll get
your bag."  He said walking past me.

"Hi."  I heard behind me and jumped about three feet in the air.  Turning
around I saw Matt.  He was an inch taller than Blake, with brown hair and
brown eyes and had a kind face.

"Hallo, I'm Conner."  I said shaking his hand.  My God they both had huge
hands.

"Nice to meet you.  I'm Matt."  He said smiling at me.

"Fuck Conner, three bags!"  I heard Blake saying out of breath coming down
the stairs.  "This is fucking heavy."

"Sorry, I didn't know what to bring along."  I said feeling stupid.

"You might want to dress in old clothes; I think you're overdressed for the
lodge."  Matt said trying to be helpful.

"These are old clothes."  I said blushing slightly, because they thought I
was overdressed.

"It's fine Conner.  Let's hit the road."  Blake said walking past us and to
the car, a secondhand Jeep Cherokee.

The lodge turned out to be only a couple of hours away and was quite
charming- two bedrooms, open plan living, dining and kitchen area and one
bathroom.

"This is beautiful."  I said as Matt parked the car and we walked inside.

"Thanks. My parents never come here, so every now and then Blake and I bring
girls here to be more private and-" He looked at me, realized what he said
and blushed.  "But Blake and me always shared a room and-"

I didn't know if I should laugh at the way he tried to explain or whether I
should tease them a bit more.  Blake looked like he had seen a ghost.

"So, you like to bring girls here and use them."  I said trying to be
serious.  The look on their faces was priceless.

"I swear I've only kissed a girl and touched- things."  He said looking at
me.  "Matt is the one who always fucked the girls he came with."  Blake
said.

"Hey!"  Matt yelled blushing and looking away.  "You've gotten lots of head.
I've only fucked Alicia and no one since."  He said.

Realizing that he had just outed Blake he said: "He hasn't had lots of head,
I don't think-"

"Ok, stop please."  I said laughing at them.  They looked at me strangely
and I said: "You guys are horny football jocks.  I kinda knew that you've at
least gotten a blowjob."

"But I always think of you blowing me, I promise."

"What?!"  I shouted loudly, blushing.  "You can't say things like that!
Especially in front of Matt!"

They both laughed and Matt said: "Trust me, you're really cute if I were
into dudes I would beg you to give me head."  At this point I must have been
redder than a tomato.

"Hey, this hot piece of ass is all mine."  Blake said giving me a slap on
the ass, causing me to yelp.

"Ok, you guys are so rude!"  I said angrily marching off and slamming the
bathroom door loudly.

"Somebody's in trouble."  I heard Matt say teasingly at Blake.

"Shut up!  You started it, now he's going to be mad at me."  Blake said
grumpily.  Walking over to the door and knocking gently.  "Babe?"

Opening the door I said: "Fuck off and go rent yourself a hooker for the
night!"  And slammed the door in his face.

"I'm sorry.  Just come on out.  We were just kidding."

"You don't talk about someone you respect that way, especially to your best
friend!"  I was actually not that upset, but he needed to know that I would
not stand being spoken of as an object.

"Babe, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to call you a piece of ass.  I love you.
Come on out.  PLEASE."  He asked starting to whine.

Opening the door I came out and looked at my feet.  Picking me up into his
arms he walked into the guest bedroom and shut the door.  Then he started to
kiss me using his tongue.  After a while the kisses started lower and lower,
moving into my neck and towards my ear.  He nibbled on my earlobe and I
whimpered when he gently bit it.

"God, I love it when you whimper."  He said looking at me with lust in his
eyes.  He sat me on the bed and removed his shirt and pants leaving only his
boxers.  Lying over me he rested his weight on his elbows, but I pulled
them, until his bodyweight was on me fully.  God I loved the feeling.

We started kissing again and I ran my hand threw the light covering of hair
on his chest.  "You look just like Chris Evans."  I whispered.  "Not
better?"  He asked smiling.

"Actually, yes.  I like your hair color better."  I said smiling up at him.
I started to push his chest, but I didn't even budge him.  He rolled onto
his back and I sat on his stomach running my hand threw his chest hair.

"I love that you don't shave your chest like some of the other boys."  I
said softly dipping my head to lick his nipple into erection.  He groaned.
I moved to the other nipple and felt his hand on my shirt moving it up.  I
grabbed it and he looked at me worriedly.

"I'm not nice to look at."  I said looking deeply into his eyes.

"Not possible."  He said pushing my hand away and kissing me on the lips.
He lifted the shirt over my head and threw it to the ground.

"Do you own a mirror?"  He asked looking at my chest.  "Dear God in heaven
you're perfection."  He said kissing my chest.  I actually started to
believe him.  Next he removed my pants slowly and then my briefs.  My penis
is eight inches long and three inches thick.  I had black pubes, but he said
he liked it.

"Fuck it.  You're only sixteen and this thing is huge.  How big is it?"  He
asked.

"Eight inches."  I said, "How big is yours?"

"I'm seven and a half."  He said blushing slightly.

"Can I see it?"  I asked and he nodded yes and removed his boxers.  It was
beautiful.  I put my hand onto it, but I couldn't reach my thumb to my other
fingers.

"Wow, I may be longer, but you're much thicker and your balls are huge."  I
said to him causing him to look at my hand fondling him.

"You gotta stop."  I heard him squeak in a girlishly high voice.

"Why?"  I asked smiling evilly at him.

"Cause I'm gonna come."  He said closing his eyes with pleasure.

"Why?"  I asked laughing.

"Cause it feels so fucking good."  He said gasping as I squeezed it harder.

"Why-" I asked, but yelped when he flipped me onto my back and said: "Cause
now you're gonna find out."  He started to move his hips and rub his dick
against mine and I moaned in pleasure.  I instinctively wrapped my legs
around his waist and he moved even faster.  He started moving faster and
faster till I came and then he followed quickly.  We were both out of breath
and he gasped : "You were incredible."  While rolling off of me.

"You were ok."  I said joking.

"Ok?"  He said looking at me.  Then jumped onto me and started to tickle me.

"NO!" I screamed trying to move from under him.  He grabbed my hands and
held them above my head in one of his hands and tickled me.

"How was I?"  He asked smiling at me.

"YOU WERE INCREDIBLE, PERFECT!  THE BEST I EVER HAD!!"
I screamed.

"That's better."  He said getting off of me and heading to the bathroom.
When he was done he left the room in his towel and I went to shower.  I
dressed in oversized pajamas and went to the kitchen.

When Matt saw me he said: "The best you ever had eh?"  He was laughing along
with Blake.

"Fuck you."  I said blushing.

"NO, I think you've already done that with him."  He said pointing to Blake.
"God Conner, you're a wildcat."  Seeing that I was confused he said: "The
teeth mark on Blake's shoulder.  It's a wonder you didn't draw blood."

"Oh my goodness!  Blake I'm so sorry.  I didn't even realize doing-"  I
started to apologize.

"Don't apologize babe, it was so hot and trust me I liked it."  He said
winking at me.

Matt laughingly said: "You know Conner, my dick is bigger than Blake's so I
wonder what you would do if I did it to you."

"You guys are so vulgar.  We didn't even do that," I smiled cheekily and
said: ", Blake said I shouldn't put mine in just yet cause it's so big."



Blake was blushing profusely by now and Matt was teasing him.

"See, I can be vulgar too."  And then I winked at him and Matt was blushing
as well.



*****

"How can anyone screw up toast and scrambled eggs?"  Matt asked teasing me
for the millionth time that night.

"Yeah, tell me how you manage to do that."  Blake said as well.

"It's hardly my fault; the servants usually take care of that stuff.  I've
never even been in the kitchen.  Besides Blake, I thought you liked me for
my bedroom skills and at this rate you aren't getting anything."

"Did I mention how fantastic the dinner was tonight?"  Blake asked laughing.
"Anyway when we move in together, I'll do the cooking."  My heart beat
really fast, because Blake saw a future for us.  Matt winked at me when
Blake said this and I knew that Matt would be an excellent friend for us in
years to come.

"Would you guys mind if I called it a night?  I'm really tired."  I asked
getting up.  Blake got up as well and said to Matt: "I'm pretty beat too.
See ya in the morning."

"Night you guys."  Matt said heading off for the main bedroom.

That night we only kissed and cuddled and I felt so loved that I slept thru
the entire night.

*****

The next morning I woke up and felt Blake's arm around my waist and his hand
resting on my stomach.  I felt totally surrounded by him and he smelt good.
Then the thoughts started- YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM.  HE COULD NEVER
LOVE YOU.  YOU'RE UGLY AND FAT!



I got up as quietly as possible and went into the bathroom and got my
toothbrush out.  I bent over the toilet and threw up till the voices of
doubt stopped and got up to brush my teeth.  When I was done I unlocked the
bathroom door and walked into Blake.

"Why do you do that?"  He asked looking at me sadly.

"I think it might be because of the eggs last night.  They didn't agree-"

"Conner, please do not underestimate my intelligence.  Why did you throw
up?"  He asked leading me to the bed.

Starting to cry I said: "I'm not good enough for you.  You're going to leave
me when you find someone better and I'll be all alone."

"You must be mad.  I'm so scared of you leaving me.  I love you and I
promise that I will never leave you.  OK?"  He asked kissing me on the lips.

"Promise me you're going to stop hurting yourself."  He asked pulling back.

"I promise.  I-I-I I love you too Blake."  I said blushing and looking down
at the floor.

"Really!?"  He asked laughing.  He looked so happy and I nodded.  He started
kissing me until he pulled back and asked me: "Do you have any idea how
beautiful you are to me?  I still can't believe I've got you."

*****

Later that morning I was lying on one of the window seats reading a book
when Matt came walking in carrying wood for the fireplace.  Blake was
outside chopping the wood.  "Can I help with anything Matthew?"  I asked
trying to be friendly.

"Matthew?  Fuck, please call me Matt."  He said laughing.  "No, you look
quite comfortable and I'm not going to put you to work.  Blake would kill
me!"  Laughingly he walked outside leaving me sitting there.  Grabbing my
scarf and a pair of really expensive suede boots I walked outside.

Standing with my hand on my hip I asked Blake challengingly: "You think I'm
too spoilt to work?"

He turned looking at me confused.  "Huh?"

"Yeah, I know you think I'm some helpless spoilt WASP, but I'll have you
know that I have a 4.0 GPA and I'm two years ahead in my class and I can jog
you away Mr. Football Jock!"  Leaving him standing there looking confused I
walked over to the chopped wood and tried to pick up a lot of stumps.
Almost falling I walked over to stairs to the front door and lost my footing
and fell back causing a stump to fall onto my forehead making the tiny wound
bleed.

*****

"Conner!?  Baby?  Wake up."  I heard coming to.  Opening my eyes I felt an
immediate headache and saw Blake holding a cloth to the wound and Matt
watching from behind him.

"Ohm."  I moaned trying to move his hand away from the pain.  Lifting the
cloth he looked at me. "What the hell were you doing?  I told you Matt and I
would take care of the wood.  You're not used to hard labor."  He scolded
looking down at me.

"God, I'm so pathetic."  I whispered.  "I can't even carry wood!"  I felt
tears in my eyes.

"You are not pathetic."  Matt said from behind Blake.  "You are so smart and
Blake and I could never compare.  We all have different talents."

"Thanks Matt."  I said shakily looking up at him smiling.

"Should I leave the two of you alone?"  Blake asked looking at us and
smiling jokingly.

"Yeah, I have a thing for tall guys with big hands."  I said smiling at
Matt.  "Just close the door on the way out."  Matt added joining in on the
joke.

"Is my eye blue?" I asked touching my face gently.

"Yeah."  They said in unison.

"Cool, I've never had one before."  I said smiling.  "Maybe I can tell
everyone at school my boyfriend is abusive in bed.  Oh!"  I yelled as Blake
hit me on my arm.

"Fuck you guys, I've already heard you in bed, your entire body should be
blue Conner.  Or are you the abusive one."  He joked, but ran to the door as
Blake tried to punch him.

"Ok, ok, ok."  I'll leave you guys alone."  He said walking out and closing
the door.

"Sorry."  I said making a goofy face at him.

"Don't sweat it babe.  I'm just happy that you're alive."  Blake said
rubbing my hand gently.

"I doubt I would have died, Darling."  I said in a pompous British accent.

"You are so cute when you act British.  I'm horny now."  He said giving me
this innocent look.

"Why Mr. Parker, I do believe you are taking advantage of a poor little
minor boy."  I said laughing.

"You're right!  I'm a pedophile!"  He said.

"Yes, you dirty old man."  I said kissing him on the jaw.  "Corrupt me!"
And he did, all night long.

*****

This is the first story I have ever written and am now submitting.  Kindly
let me know what you think of it at: abbillion@gmail.com and address it to
AB.  Any criticism is welcome, but PLEASE be kind as I am quite sensitive
when people criticize me.  Should too many people find this story boring or
in any way unworthy I will gracefully withdraw from writing further stories.

Thanks so much for your time.

Regards

AB