Date: Thu, 10 Feb 2005 16:03:58 -0800 (PST)
From: DE
Subject: Nothing Worth Having is Ever Easy/Chapter 2: Everybodys Fool/BETAD

In case you already got this chapter, this is the betad
version of the chapter, hope everyone limes it! just some
minor corrections and a few new things added in to
forshadow chapter 3, which will be on its way soon!

Disclaimer - Everything here in is complete fiction. Any
resemblance to persons, living or dead is entirely
coincidental. All situations are a product of the authors
mind, and is not intended for those who do not like gay
fiction, nor is it intended for those under age or where
such material is not legal. Other wise, have fun and enjoy.

Author's Note at the bottom.

Nothing Worth Having is Ever Easy

Chapter 2: Everybody's Fool

Perfect by nature
icons of self indulgence
just what we all need
more lies about a world that

never was and never will be
have you no shame don't you see me
you know you've got everybody fooled

look here she comes now
bow down and stare in wonder
oh how we love you
no flaws when you're pretending
but now I know she

never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

without the mask where will you hide
can't find yourself lost in your lie

I know the truth now
I know who you are
and I don't love you anymore

it never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

it never was and never will be
you're not real and you can't save me
somehow now you're everybody's fool

"Everybody's Fool" ~ Evanescence

Until that day in Drawing class, I don't think I ever
really noticed Ashton Ross. At least I don't think I ever
paid enough attention to most people outside of my small
group of friends to know more than he was that kid every
one thought was gay. I mean Bobby Ray was always talking
about "that fag in our class", but I never put two and two
together.

Then when Bobby Ray made a big deal of being partners with
the kid, I really got my first true look at him. Like I
said, I knew who he was and when I saw him coming over to
our table an image from freshman year popped into my head.

I had been walking with Bobby Ray, Taylor and Adam to the
cafeteria and we passed by a bench, set off the walkway in
between some trees. There was a boy there who looked like
he was twelve and therefore had no business being in high
school. He had brown hair that was parted in the middle and
fell to his chin, framing his face. His eyes were hidden
under dark sunglasses and he wore a plain white t-shirt
with baggy jeans. You could tell he was thin even though he
was sitting cross-legged on the bench, but it wasn't that
sickly thin that makes you think of a nerd with big feet
and thick glasses. He had a raggedy black backpack beside
him and a notebook in his lap with a few sheets of paper he
was writing one. I guess you would call him cute -- I don't
know . . . I mean . . . I never thought of a guy like that
before, you know? He just looked nice, totally lost in
whatever it was he was writing, and actually peaceful.

Then Bobby Ray shouted, "Hey faggot! Ever thought about
going and finding a whole to burry yourself in so us normal
people don't have to see you?"

The kid didn't even look up but he scowled and did his best
to ignore Bobby Ray. If there's one thing you have to give
Bobby Ray credit for, he never gives up when he sets his
sights on something and terrorizing this kid was (as I was
to learn over the next couple of years) his favorite form
of entertainment.

"Are you trying to act like I'm not here?" Bobby Ray asked.
"You think if you ignore me, I'll go away? Think again!"

He snatched the kid's notebook and tossed it over his
shoulder, the rest of our friends laughing with him as the
papers inside scattered all over the cement.

"Have a nice day fairy!" Bobby Ray called over his
shoulder, as he started moving again.

Bet you wonder what I did? Nothing. I smiled, pretending to
laugh with my friends and went on my way. Bobby Ray and I
met the first day of school, and he grafted himself to my
side, proclaiming us best friends, which wasn't all that
bad considering he seemed to be really popular with a lot
of the cool kids, so I welcomed the friendship. And don't
get me wrong, most of the time he can be a decent enough
guy, its just he loves to pick on people smaller and (in
his eyes) less significant in the world. It's the one thing
about him I've never liked, and never had the guts to stand
up to him on.

And unfortunately, Ash was one of those people.

Bobby Ray picked on him a lot and while I admit it bothered
me, I ignored it and eventually forgot about it. But that
day in Drawing there was something about the way Ash looked
that made me look at him in a whole new way. Now, in the
years between freshman and senior year, he's changed a lot,
he grown up for one thing. He's only about 5'11", and he's
still skinny, but his hair is cut short and for the first
time I got to see his eyes, and I think that was what
caught me.

They were like a deep blue rings surrounded by Jade, with a
ring of yellow around the iris. They were weird because I'd
never seen eyes like that. But there was something else
about his eyes, something in the deep sadness I saw there,
the loneliness that he was trying so hard to hide from the
rest of us, as well as pain, and I noticed that most of our
classmates only gave him a passing look.

After Mr. T started the class, Bobby Ray said to me, "I
can't believe I'm stuck with the fag."

"Serves you right," said my girl friend Mandy. "After the
way you've treated him since 7th grade, it just shows Karma
is a bitch and she's coming for you now."

Taylor, Adam and I laughed but Bobby Ray flipped her off.

One of the things I love about her is that she may be a
cheerleader, and she may be probably the most popular girl
in school, but deep down, she was a sweet person, and she
didn't like Bobby Ray. They both went to a different Middle
School than me, so they'd known each other longer, and even
dated during eighth grade.

Thankfully they broke up within a month and there are no
lingering feelings there. Mandy and I started dating in the
middle of sophomore year, and have been a strong couple
since. We haven't had sex yet and we've made out a handful
of times, but neither of us is really into that. Seems kind
of weird really because all my friends have been bragging
for years about the piece of ass they got over the weekend,
yet Mandy and I never wanted to do it. Her excuse was that
she wanted to wait for marriage, which I agreed with
because that's what my parents had always told me to do.
And if the rents say it's a good thing, ok, who am I to
argue? The last thing I need is for my dad to get on my
case for knocking Mandy up.

"Clay," Bobby Ray asked me, "can you get your balls back
from your woman long enough to get her off my back?"

"Oh no you don't," Mandy said, covering my mouth with her
hand. "Clay is going to stay out of this. He's going to sit
right here and let me draw him. Speaking of which, you
might want to get your partner's attention and get to work
yourself."

I glanced at Ash, who had his headphones on again, and was
ignoring us. He had this deep look of concentration on his
face, and I could barely make out that he was listening to
something loud and thumping on his headphones.

"Hey, FUCK SHIT!" Bobby Ray screamed and the class went
silent.

Mr. T came over and started to reprimand him, but Bobby Ray
pointed at Ash.

"He's ignoring me!" he said, thumping Ash on the shoulder.

Ash looked up and for a moment he had that dear in the
headlights look, then it went blank like he put a mask on
as he pulled his headphones off.

"Well Mr. Ross," said Mr. T, "you've made it so that no one
in hear can enjoy the pleasure of music. Ignoring your
partner and your assignment will not be tolerated."

There was a chorus of groans around the class as everyone
realized that we couldn't listen to our own music. Mr. T
was taking Bobby Ray's side, which wasn't fair because Ash
didn't do anything wrong.

And speaking of Ash, there was a change in him that I
didn't expect. His eyes clouded over and his face went
bright red. I almost expected to see steam start shooting
out his ears.

"Then maybe I shouldn't be in this class anymore," he said,
shoving his CD player in his bag, followed by his notebook.
"God knows I wouldn't want to be the kink in your smoothly
running chain."

"Now see here Mr. Ross, I will not-" Mr. T started, but Ash
cut him off.

"My name is Ash or Ashton, pick one. You say `Mr. Ross' and
I look for my dad. You know everyone else's name but mine
and I find that interesting. If the dumb jock doesn't want
to work with me, as I'm sure no one else in here does, and
I seem to cause such a problem, I just wont be here."

I watched this, shocked because I had never heard Ash speak
before and I have to I didn't expect him to sound the way
he did. I almost thought he would talk with a lisp and have
a high pitched voice, you know, talk like one of the
stereotypes you see on TV who sound completely stupid and
so far gone into being a queen that there is no hope of
ever saving them. But he didn't. He spoke in a pretty
normal voice, maybe a little high, but it was pretty
obvious it was still going through that change from boy to
man. Every word came out perfectly pronounced and he looked
and sounded like he was in complete control of himself.

Then he turned around and started for the door, which was
another shock because I really didn't think he was going to
leave. I guess I should have seen he would, but he didn't
look like the kind of person to just walk out of a class in
anger.

"Mr. Ross . . . I mean, Ashton! Come back here now!" Mr. T
shouted, and Ash stopped to look over his shoulder.

"Why?" he asked. "What's the point? I'm not wanted in this
class, let alone their school. Fuck it, I don't need this,
I can get the credit in night school. At least there I'll
be invisible for a real reason, because no one will know
me, not because of some stupid rumor that's been spread
since the 7th fucking grade!" He glared at some of our
classmates, including me and I noticed Mandy and Adam
looked away from him when he looked our way.

"I don't need it," he said, "I don't deserve it, and I wont
take it anymore. Fuck all of you."

Then he walked out, leaving Mr. T and the rest of us
stunned as he slammed the door behind him. What I found to
be the strangest part was that I wanted to go after him.
Don't ask me why, but something inside was urging me to go
and . . . I don't know. Comfort him maybe? Try and get him
to see that he was wanted, that I at least wanted him
around. Which surprised me, because I really felt like I
wanted to know him now more than ever. Something about him
called to me even though I could place or explain it.

I didn't though because it was an absurd idea, and Ash
stayed in my mind the rest of the day. Bobby Ray was pissed
off at him because he left, but I was starting to see how
much of an ass Bobby Ray was and I found I really didn't
like it.



After school I saw Ash walking through the quad and he had
his headphones on again with that mask of indifference on
as though he didn't care about the rest of the world. Bobby
Ray was shouting at him, calling him all kinds of names,
including "Pansy mother-fucker!" and I snapped hitting
Bobby Ray upside the head and told him to shut up.

"What the fuck, Clay?" Bobby Ray said, looking at me
scandalized.

The others around us were watching and I realized I had
started something with him I had to finish.

"Just leave the guy alone," I said. "What's he done to
you?"

I noticed Mandy out of the corner of my eye and she was
smiling at me; that gave me courage to stand my ground.

"Dude! He's fag, that's plenty in my book," Bobby Ray said.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because he is. The first time I saw him I just new it."

"Again I ask, how do you know? I mean how can you tell?"

Bobby Ray was getting mad and he looked to the rest of our
friends, more importantly those who went to the same middle
school as him.

"Kyle, you remember what he was like in the locker room
back in 7th grade, right?"

Kyle, a linebacker on the football team, took a step back,
surprised to be singled out. I looked him in the eye and it
was clear he had no idea what Bobby Ray was talking about.
Frustrated, Bobby Ray turned to Adam. "Ok, you remember the
way he walked don't you man? The way he wagged his hips
back and forth? You remember right?"

Adam bit his lip. "Actually . . . I just remember you
telling me about it."

Bobby Ray actually growled, clenching his fists, flexing
the muscles of his arms and making the veins bulge.

"I think," Mandy said, "'thou does protest too much.'"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Bobby Ray
snapped.

Mandy rolled her eyes. "It's Shakespeare you twit. It means
someone who makes such a big deal about not liking
something or some one, then that person is probably hiding
that they actually do like that thing or person."

As it dawned on Bobby Ray what she was saying, he went from
annoyed to pissed so fast it was hard to believe a second
before he had been white, not the violent fire engine red
he became. He was breathing hard and clenching his teeth.

"Oh fuck off all of you! Fucking queer lovers!" he screamed
then took off for the parking lot.

"He is such an asshole." Mandy said when he was gone and
there were murmurs of agreement through the group.



That night I had a dream and it was weird. I was in bed
naked and Mandy was with me. Her body was light and her
skin felt smooth as it rubbed across mine. It was too dark
to see her, but I had my arms around her, my hand's tracing
up and down her back and my legs rapped around her. She was
moving over me and my dick was rubbing across her belly,
sending shivers through my body. Then I noticed her breasts
were really small -- which was even odder because Mandy has
nice sized boobs. Then I felt full, like something was up
my ass, but it didn't hurt. In fact it felt incredible! I
felt complete, like the missing piece of me was there, that
thing I had been missing all my life was in me, filling me
then retracting, only to come back and fill me all over
again. I wanted this to go on and on, to never end, not
now, not ever.

Mandy thrust against me again and as I came I could see her
face -- but it wasn't her! It was Ash! It was him who I was
holding and he was fucking me, but it was so much more, he
was making love to me, and as I felt him come, his whole
body shuddered and I grabbed his ass, pulling him deeper
into me as our climax's washed over us. Even though I knew
this was all wrong, that we really shouldn't be doing this,
at the same time it was all I wanted to do. I wanted him in
me, I NEEDED him in me, and then he was looking down at me,
his face flushed, and-

Then I woke up.

I was lying on my back with the covers thrown back, my legs
spread wide and I had cum all over my stomach and chest. I
was panting hard and my body was still shaking from the
climax. I couldn't believe it actually because that was the
first wet dream I had had in years.

After cleaning up, I tried to go back to sleep, but the
dream kept playing itself over and over again in my mind. I
had to jerk off two more times before my hard on went away,
replaying the dream over and over again.

I was so confused, I didn't get back to sleep.

Author's Note: This story is going to be about 20 chapters
in length, give or take a few, so it's going to be long.
Also, I'm going to be switching points of view, probably
only between Clay and Ash, but it may go to other
characters. This fic is obviously going to be long, and
aside from the end of this chapter, there isn't going to be
sex for a while. If your looking for that, there is plenty
elsewhere, but I don't like fics were they jump into bed
together. I also don't like fics where there is no sex
period, because lets face reality people, most teenagers (I
speak from personal experience) have a lot of sex. To think
teens don't is stupid, so if your patient, hopefully you
won't be disappointed. This is the first piece I've
published on the web, and I have several other stories I've
written, but never put out there, because I'm a big chicken
when it comes to my work and letting other people read it.
Also those other fics aren't done, but they will be
eventually.

That said, I'm working on stuff that I hope to have
published one day, and that takes a lot of my time, but I
will do my best to get a chapter of "Nothing Worth Having
is Ever Easy" out at least once a week (I hope). I already
have my best friend demanding the next chapter, so I will
do my best.

Thanks to all of you who have emailed me, it means a lot to
hear from you! Please drop me a note and let me know what
you thought! And read "I Hate Anthony", "Around My Way",
"The Log Way" and "Angst", they're all excellent stories!
I'm hooked!

Thanks again to everyone who emailed me, and especially the
Jersey Girl, Maddy! You are the best!!

~ D

P.S. Every chapter here on out is going to be named after a
song, and have part of the lyrics or all of them, in the
beginning.