Date: Sat, 05 Mar 2005 15:09:09 +0100
From: citizen citizen <citizentoo@hotmail.com>
Subject: on our way to fame chapter 1 (revised)

The following story is entirely a work of fiction.
This story has been developing in my head for years now but I just decided
to start writing it a few days ago. I hope I'll do a good job.
I might need to mention that my mother tongue is not English but french so
if I make mistakes, I apologize !

The story below will involve sex between teenagers. As the story progresses
it will involve sex between adults males.  If that offends you, I wonder
what you're doing here ! All the usual rules apply, if it's illegal for you
to read this, don't and if you're under 18, I suppose it's time for you to
leave.  And if you don't, make sure your parents are not eavesdropping on
you hehe.

Feedback are welcome, I'd love to know what you think :
citizentoo@hotmail.com

-------

It's november 2004. we're all sitting in heathrow airport, waiting to board
a plane to New york where we have several interviews to give and a couple of
TV shows to shoot for the promotion of our fifth album with UNI.
U-N-I, that's the name we gave to the group we formed over 10 years ago. Our
lives has been so crazy in the past 10 years, sometimes I still have to
pinch myself to make sure this is all really happening. We were nominated in
the first UK hall of fame this year and two weeks ago, we attended the
ceremony and won. People voted us as the most important band of the 1990s,
can you believe that ? I always knew we would be famous. Ever since our
first jam session in 1993, I knew we would become the biggest rock and roll
band in the world...or I hoped so anyway. To be honest with you, if someone
had told me in 1993 that we would become one of the biggest rock band of the
90s, I would have had serious doubts about the truthfulness of that
statement.
But Hehe, one can always dream ! My father always told me not to dream. To
dream was to be disappointed and it was a waste of time. I learned not to
listen to my father though. To me, the power of imagination was priceless
and at an early age I was determined to do everything I possibly could to
make my dreams come true and to live up to my expectations.

Ok I'm getting a little carried away here but now that you know the end of
the story, let's start with the beginning.

-----
I don't remember not knowing the guys. We grew up together outside of
Dublin, in Ireland. We went to kindergarten together and we lived in the
same neighbourhood. Even before we started going to school together, we were
already the best of friends.

There was Jordan, who was the youngest, damon, robbie and Dylan. We were all
really close in age and over the years our respective birthdays were always
a good excuse to have a party. Dylan was born in april 78, damon in
november, I on january 79 and rob only two weeks after me in february and
finally Jordan in  june.
There was also Rachel, who seemed to be the only girl in the neighbourhood
who managed to put up with us. She always wanted to hang out with us and
play our games. She was a great girl, funny, smart and even pretty. She was
part of the guys I suppose. We really liked having her around.
.

I loved those guys, they were my best friends. They were always there for me
whenever I had trouble at home.
Yeah, I gotta tell you,  to counterbalance with having the best friends I
could possibly ask for, I had the worst family god ever put on this
earth....well maybe not, but it did feel that way to me. My father was a
stupid asshole whose favorite occupation was to make my life a living hell.
I had stop counting a long time ago the number of bruises he gave me,
releasing his anger on my body. An anger that probably came from feeling
like a total useless member of society, going to a dead boring job every day
to buy alcohol or cigarettes or if need be, to feed a wife and kids he, from
the look of it, didn't even love. I had made a promise to myself never to be
like him. I didn't want to end up like that. I wanted my life to be
exceptional !

So whenever I was at home, my goal was to do everything I could not to piss
him off too much. The only problem was that, no matter what I did, he always
found a good reason to make me feel like scum or to give me a nice little
beating to remind me who was the boss. God I hated him.

The only good thing I learned from him was French. He was born in France but
moved to Ireland with his parents when he was a teenager. He almost never
spoke to us in English and we had to talk to him in French most of the time
or he'll get mad, telling us that we'll never learn if we kept speaking
English. Even with my brother and sister, we spoke in French if he was
around. (I had an older brother, thomas and a younger sister, amy). He never
really managed to teach my mum but even if she couldn't really speak the
language, she understood it pretty well so even when she was here, French
was the first language we used in the house.
It was not the best way to learn a language because it was forced on us but
we did learn it.

As for my mother, well my mother was a christian, not that there is anything
wrong with that, I myself have some pretty strong beliefs when it comes to
God. Not just me actually, all the guys did too, we had been going to church
every week as we were growing up and well, it was part of our upbringing.
But my mother, she did not seem to be able to make allowances. She followed
blindly the dictates of the church and she was very stubborn about it. She
had to put up with an abusive husband and a pretty sad life I must add
(doing the cleaning, cooking, shopping, taking care of the kids and
receiving no appreciation or love for it), and I'm pretty sure that she
believed God had intented it that way to make her stronger so she was just
putting up with it. She was a strict mother and even though she knew what my
dad was putting us through, she didn't really tell him anything. Whenever we
complained to her about him, she always told us that God had a plan, and
that everything we went through in life had a reason to happen....so no big
help here !

Well, anyway, let's go back to the part of my life I actually liked!
Let me tell you a little bit more about my friends ! especially one who I
consider as my best friend, my soul mate even !

Robbie lived in the house right next to mine. Our mothers were friends and
they had told us that when we were babies, they used to put us in the same
playpen. So as you can see, our friendship goes way back. I really thought
the guys were a pretty amazing bunch of friends but rob and I were best
friend and everybody knew that. Even when the guys were not hanging out
together, we were.

There was a logical reason for that though, the first one being that he was
the one I felt the most connected to, we really knew each other very well,
and the second was that , everytime I had to escape my own house because I
was too scared that my dad would want a litlle boxing session in the living
room, I went to his. If my parents started fighting, if I saw that my dad
was drunk, if I had a fight with my brother or my sister, I climbed out of
my window or walked out the door and went straight to Rob's. The peace and
love in his house was priceless to me. Rob and his family knew what I was
escaping from, I had started doing that at an early age, I must have been
only six or seven the first time I ran to his place in the evening to escape
my father. I had knocked at the door and rob had let me in, comforted me and
asked his mother if I could stay the night because I was too damn scared of
going back home.

His mother knew and understood what I was going through, she was always
there to take me in her arms and make me feel special and loved in a way
that my parents couldn't. Over the years, it became natural, I considered
Rob's mum and dad like my second parents. I'm sure Jane(rob's mother) tried
to make the situation better by talking to my mother but after a while, it
probably became an understanding. My mum would let me slip out of the house,
leaving me in the care of someone else. that way she knew I was safe and my
dad was just happy that I wasn't home most of the time. he didn't have to
bother about me.

So I spend most of my childhood's nights sleeping in the same bed as my best
friend. I always went back home after school, after all it was my house, it
was where I should stay, but after dinner, there was always something that
would make me want to escape and I often found myself knocking at my
neighbour's door, hoping they would let me stay with them one more time.
It was during one of those nights that my relationship with Rob suddenly
changed.

We were 14 and we had had a pretty long and hard day at school. It was
october so the days were still long and warm enough for us to stay outside
until at least 6pm. We were sitting in jordan's back garden and going
through a number of music magazines that his mother had bought for him. We
just loved talking about music, the bands we admired, the songs we loved. We
were all very musical since we had all learned to play an instrument at an
early age and we had decided to form a band. We loved playing music
together. I had started learning how to play the piano in church. There was
a teacher giving classes in the evening and on saturdays at the local church
so my mum signed me in when I was 7, same for dylan and damon. Jordan and
Rob started learning how to play the guitar and I often played with rob's
when we hung out together. He taught me what he had learned. I would have
asked my parents to sign me in for guitar lessons but I was 100% sure that
they would refuse to pay for it. Piano was the only thing I did outside of
school and it was only because it was happening at  church, therefore it was
cheap enough. I mean , come on, what was the point of spending hundreds of
pounds in my musical education....If only they had known !

Anyway, around 6, jordan's mum asked us to go home so we all did. Even I
did, which was a big mistake. As soon as I stepped into the house, my dad
grabbed me by the arm and pushed me violently into the kitchen, screaming at
me (in french) because I was late.

"where the hell have you been ? you think you can just come home whenever
you like. Your mother was looking for you. You were supposed to go shopping
with her for halloween tonight. She was really upset"

"I'm sorry, I was at Jordan's, I forgot" I told him apologizing

"I don't care, I don't want to hear any excuses. I want you to come home
right after school from now on, is that clear?"

He was pulling my jacket, waiting for an answer and I had no choice but to
say yes, even though I knew that he usually weren't home before 6pm so I
wouldn't really have to follow this new, very unfair rule. I almost asked
how he would know if I came home after school since he would not be there,
but I knew better! it was not the time to act like a smart ass. He grabbed
me a little harder

"Do you get it ?"

"yes ! I do" I repeated

He then dragged me up the stairs forcefully and threw me into my bedroom,
slamming the door on his way out, after yelling some more !

"Now you better do whatever homework you have to do. I don't want to hear a
single sound from you tonight"

Wait, could I at least come down for dinner ? oh crap ! I thought about
going over to Rob's but I wasn't sure that was a very good idea, seeing how
pissed my father seemed to be. I heard him go downstairs and I realized I
was very thirsty. I opened my door as quietly as I could and went into the
bathroom to get some water. I drank and without thinking, I took a leak and
flushed the toilets ! Big big mistake ! My father was upstairs again in a
flash, pushing me on the floor, kicking me in the stomach, slapping me in
the face and punching me wherever he could! I found myself hoping that my
body would beome numb to such an assault. I will get used to it one day I
suppose, but for now, it still hurt like hell and I was sure I would have a
few bad bruises on the next day.

"What did I tell you ? I told you to stay in your room ! get back in there
right now, your little piece of shit!" oh well, isn't that a sweet way to
talk to your son ?!
He pulled me up so I was standing again, dragged me to my room and threw me
violently on the desk.

"Ok, well, I think I'll stay in here tonight", I thought to myself! I got
his point now ! God my body was sore all over, I started to cry, I couldn't
help it, I was really getting tired of this. This was becoming more and more
unbearable. God I hated him, why was he doing this to me ! I took a leak,
for god's sake, what's wrong with that! Fuck him, I had to see Rob, he was
the only one who could make me feel better, and I really needed someone to
comfort me, I was just too upset and angry I didn't know what to do with
myself.

I managed to climb out of my bredroom window and jumped from the low roof,
to the ground with no difficulty, hoping my dad would not hear me or see me
leave and headed to Rob's.
I saw the lights were on in the house and I knocked at the front door,
shivering a little. Rob opened the door and immediatly noticed that I was
crying. I just stood there watching him, probably looking pretty pathetic
and he grabbed my arm to make me move and step inside. I winced in pain. I
didn't have to tell him, he knew immediatly what was wrong with me!

"God, what did he do to you now ? come here pal."

He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry on his shoulder. He didn't say
stuff like `that's ok' and I was thankful for that because I certainly
didn't think what had just happened was ok.
I cried silently for a long time, releasing all my frustrations.

"why is he doing this to me, I hate him, what a bastard ! who does he think
he is, who gives him the right to treat me like that, this isn't fair, I'm
so tired of this...."
Rob just kept saying, `I know, I know, I understand, you just let it out', I
didn't feel bad or ashamed to cry like a baby on his shoulder. I knew he
meant it when he said he understood and I knew he didn't think I was just a
sissy. He knew how bad my father could beat me up sometimes and I think it
genuinely made him ache. We cared a lot about each other and I knew that if
I had seen him like this, I would have felt terrible for him.

After a good 10 minutes, I started to calm down and we went to his bedroom.
Rob sat me down on his bed, took off my t-shirt, went into the bathroom and
came back with a bottle of soothing lotion. He asked me where I was sore and
applied it on my body, massaging my shoulders in the process to help me
relax. Feeling his hands on me, god it felt great. It did not really touch
the part where I was sore to tell you the truth and if he did he was so
gentle that it didn't really hurt. I wondered if he was doing this to make
me feel better or if he just enjoyed touching me. It felt more like he was
caressing me  than massaging me really and my cock started to swell a
little. I didn't want him to stop but it was becoming uncomfortable and I
didn't want him to notice my state of arousal. That would have been really
embarrassing

"does it feel better ?" he asked

"yeah, it does, thanks man"

I put my tshirt back on and he got up and went into the bathroom to wash the
lotion off his hands.

When his mum came home, he told her that my father had beaten me up again.
She was really mad, calling him names, which made me feel better about the
way I was feeling toward him right now. She went over to my house and
confronted him. I don't know what happened because I wasn't there, but I was
glad that someone had the guts to stand up for me even if I was afraid it
would backfire on me the next time I was alone again with him. I mean, now
he knew I had left my room. I was scared he would come over and force me to
go home but he didn't. Once again, he was probably glad to get rid of me for
the night.

I stayed with Rob's family again that night . We were all very silent during
dinner. There was no need to say anything and I knew I didn't want to talk.
Rob's mum asked him and his younger brother (Justin) a few questions about
school but that was it.
Everytime I looked at Rob, I noticed him watching me and when my eyes met
his gaze, he looked right into me and smiled, letting me know he was there
for me.
I could see real understanding and care in his eyes. He has great eyes, they
are mainly green but there are different colors in them, and the shade
changes according to his mood, or the light. He has this capacity to talk
with this eyes, you can read his emotions and feelings just by looking into
them. Really amazing. And that night, all I could see was how much he cared
for me. I tried to make my eyes say that too but I don't know if I did.

We went to his room after dinner, and played video games for a bit. I guess
it was suppose to cheer me up.  He kept asking me how I felt though. Around
10pm we stopped playing and went to bed. The whole evening had been weird,
we had barely talked to each other but we had done a lot of talking with our
eyes, there was a sort of...connection between us that I hadn't really felt
before. It was stronger than it had ever been anyway. We never felt the need
to talk non-stop when we were together. We always had something to talk
about though but sometimes we just hung out silently together. The silence
between us was always a comfortable one. It was never awkward.

We got into bed and after a few seconds, Rob put his arm around me. Well,
one of us always did that when we slept together but this time he actually
snuggled closer to me than usual and I could feel the warmth of his body and
his breath on my neck and it felt good. Too good. For some reason, I found
myself getting hard again.
Man, what was going on here ? I know at 14, you're supposed to get excited
watching a banana but geez, I wasn't supposed to feel that way for my male
friends now was I ? and especially not tonight. I was supposed to be upset,
not horny.
The problem was that I was horny and I felt all these mixed emotions. It
felt like Rob was sending me all this weird messages that I could not read
and at that moment I just wanted to turn around and take him in my arms. I
didn't know what was happening to us, I didn't understand it. were we
supposed to feel that close to each other ? I had to know how Rob felt about
that.

"rob ?"

"Yes"

"What's happening to us ?"

"What do you mean ?"

"I'm not sure,  I just...I just feel...You know what, forget it, let's just
sleep" I said, not finding the right words to ask him and backing down.

"no tell me, what is it ?" he insisted and I decided to just say what was
on my mind

"I was wondering...how do you feel about me ? what do you think of me ?" I
asked him

"I, You're, what are you asking me that ?"

"because, I don't know, what you're doing right now, I know we've always
done that, but I just thought, well, it's not really normal for two guys to
sleep in the same bed so close to each other, is it ?"

"I just, I just want you to feel safe, I don't ...." and he lost it, he sat
up on the bed as far away from me as he could and his breathing changed. He
took several deep breaths and he sounded like he was about to cry, if he
wasn't already. I sat up on the bed as well and crawled over to him.

"Rob, what's the matter, are you crying ?" I asked him, rubbing his back a
little. He didn't answer and I looked at his face and saw tears rolling down
his cheeks. He quickly wiped them away but they kept coming.

"what's wrong ?" I asked. I really had no idea why he was suddenly crying.
Was it because of what I had said ? it wasn't something to cry about now,
was it ? Plus he wasn't the kind of guy who cries for no reason so he had to
be really upset about something to react like this.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me, this is so stupid"

"I don't get it. Why are you crying ? I mean, I don't mind that we sleep in
the same bed, it's fine, jeez we've been doing that for so long, it feels
natural. But..."

"please stop, I don't want to talk about it ok, I can't, I'm sorry, this is
just stupid"

It didn't seem like he was going to tell me what was bothering him but he
made no move to go back to sleep and he continued crying a little. I didn't
know what to do so I sat in front of him, and without really thinking about
it, I wrapped my legs around him and held him against me, really tightly,
our bodies extremely close to each other, our tshirt covered chests pressing
together. I didn't really know what I was doing but it felt right to hold
him like this and it seemed to be what he needed me to do. He resisted a
little at first but soon wrapped his arms around me too and held me, crying
on my shoulder. It seemed like we were taking turns. Just a few hours ago, I
was the one crying on his shoulders. I didn't know what was happening to us,
maybe it was the full moon or something like that but we were behaving like
fucking pre-schoolers again. After only a few short minutes, Rob really
started to let his emotions overtake him and he started sobbing. it seemed
like something was really eating him up but I had no idea what could upset
him that much. He clung onto me and I winced in pain, he felt it and
apologized

"sorry. god I hate to see you hurt, I wish he would stop hurting you , you
don't deserve this, you deserve so much better" he said

"hey man, it's ok, I'm fine, well I could be better I suppose but it's ok,
I can take it, I'll be fine ok, don't worry about me" Now I was trying to
make it sound ok, yeah right, who was I kidding ? well, Rob I hoped.

He wiped his tears away again and started calming down, his breathing soon
returning to normal. He stared at my face but he wasn't really looking at me
in the eye, like he was afraid of what he might see if he did. I moved my
head a little to make him look at me and he met my gaze. Oh my God, his eyes
were filled with tears but I could see so many emotions in those beautiful
eyes of his. It felt more like he was looking into me again, I don't know
how to explain it, it was like he was trying to see into my soul, to read my
mind.

"rob, you're not crying because I'm hurt, I can tell, please tell me what's
bothering you"

"I can't" He said calmly, still looking into my eyes. I could see that he
was worried, a bit scared and hesitant, like he wanted to tell me but for
some reason, couldn't find the courage to do it. And I just couldn't think
of anything that could be so hard for him to tell me.

"why ?" I asked "we've always told each other everything. I mean whatever
it is, you know you can tell me"

"I don't think I can, I don't want you to hate me"

"hate you ? are you kidding me ? How can you think something like that ?
are you nuts ?"
My voice sounded a little bit more pissed off than I had intended but how
could he think that I could hate him. That was just stupid.
We were still holding each other but as I said this, he pulled away from me
and got back under the covers.

"look" he said "can we just sleep please, I'm really tired, I'm sorry
mark, I'm sorry I lost it, You don't need this right now. Honest I'm fine
now, I just, can we talk about this tomorrow ?"

"alright" I said getting back under the covers too. We lay there silently
for a few minutes. Rob was lying on his side, his back to me and I was on my
back, still wondering what was happening to him.

The curtains were shut but the room was not completely dark or maybe our
eyes has adjusted to the darkness. I turned on my side and watched the back
of his head.

"Rob" I called

He didn't answer but after a few seconds, he turned around and faced me. We
looked deep into each other eyes, something was happening between us, a sort
of unspoken communication and I did my best to make sure he saw that
whatever it was that was bothering him, he could count on me to help him. He
must have grown strength from that because he suddenly spoke,

"I think I'm gay mark"

Gay ? was that what he was afraid to tell me ? Gay ? I had not seen that
coming but now I understood why it was so hard for him to say it. I didn't
know what to do with that though. Gay ? did it mean he didn't fancy girls at
all ? he had a girlfriend. How did he know he was gay. Where was that coming
from ? He had never told me anything about that. I thought I knew him so
well, and there he was, telling me something about himself I did not suspect
at all, something that could change a lot of things between us.

"Mark ?......mark, say something please"

He sat down on the bed again and I saw he was about to start crying again so
I reached out to him. I didn't really know what to do or what to say so I
just held him gently. I mean, how are you suppose to react to that. I knew
what people said about gays, none of it good. I knew what my father said
about gays and that was even worse and the church too but I didn't care. Rob
was my best friends and I loved him. I just wanted to do everything I could
to make him feel better like he had always done for me when I was down.

"Rob, it's ok, I really don't hate you"

"you don't ?"  he asked.

"of course not, I told you I could never hate you"

He sighed, sounding relieved "I was so scared of telling you, do you think
it's weird ?" he asked

"I don't know, I never really thought about it . I mean, how do you know ?
You've been dating girls and all, what about sally ?" Sally was a girl from
school he was dating. Well when you're 14, all you do is go to the movie and
kiss but still !

"yeah well, It was just because everyone was doing it, sally is fun but I
don't, I don't know, I just don't want to do anything with her, I want to be
with a boy, I can't explain why Mark, but I want to be with a boy, I want to
hold a boy and kiss a boy, I don't feel anything for girls"

And then it hit me, as he was talking, I began to realize that he probably
had feelings for me. That's why he was so upset that I was hurt, that's why
he wanted to be close to me all the time, why he looked at me so intensely.
I mean I could understand that, because even though I had never really asked
myself if I was straight or gay, even though I had never put a word on it
like he had, I did feel something for him that was going beyond friendship
and  as I looked into his eyes that night, I knew I loved him. Maybe not in
the same way but I did. I had that feeling in my body that told me I would
cry a river if I were to lose him. He was my best friend, we knew each other
better than we knew anyone else. We shared everything and he meant so much
to me. He was someone I could tell everything to, he was someone I could go
to when things were too hard to handle at home and I knew there will be no
judgements, just understanding and help.

"do you love me ?" I blurted out

"oh god...." I could tell he didn't expect me to be so straight forward.

A few tears rolled down his cheeks and again, I sat in front of him and
wrapped my legs and arms around him. I wasn't sure I knew what I was doing
but I wanted to feel close to him, I needed to feel close to him and I
wanted him to know I was ok with him being gay. I didn't care, this didn't
change anything, I wanted to help him. I almost wanted to reciprocate and
tell him that I loved him too but I didn't know if what I felt for him was
friendship or love. God, I had to seriously think about that. I mean we were
so young, we were gonna be 15 soon but still, I didn't really know what it
meant to be in love and I don't think he did either. I just felt something
different for him, I loved being with him, that I knew.

"Mark, I do. I'm sorry, I don't want to freak you out. I know you must
think I'm totally fucked up. But I do, I love you. I don't know why, I just
do"

"Rob, That's ok, look at me" he couldn't... "look at me" he did. he looked
scared and worried.

"I don't hate you, you're my best friend, you've never let me down. And
this, well it's a bit weird but I understand. I care about you and I don't
know if it's the same but I love you too"

"what ?  what do you mean ?"

"I mean, I love you because you're my best friend and I love hanging out
with you and all. You know me so well you know and you're always there for
me"

"But you don't love me like I do, you don't want to kiss me right now do
you ?" he said laughing a little, like it was totally impossible and funny
that I could even consider kissing him.

"do -you- want to kiss me ?" I asked him grinning. I think I wanted to
lighten up the atmosphere. He looked directly at my lips and I guess that
was his answer

"do it if you want" I told him, suddenly curious to know how it would feel
like. For some reason, I wanted to do things with him, I was feeling all
funny about what he had told me and I was sexually curious. There was a
connection between us and I wanted to explore it, I didn't even want to
think about what it would change between us.

le looked at me like I could not possibly mean that
"seriously ?" he asked with hope in his voice

"yeah, I'm curious. We can try, I don't mind"

He looked at me, trying to see if I was really serious, and honestly I had
no idea if I really was. But before I had time to think twice about it, he
was pressing his lips against mine. It felt electric and goosebumps covered
my arms. I hadn't expected this. He was kissing me but I wasn't kissing him
back, I didn't know what to do, I was lost in another dimension. It felt
good to feel his lips against mine, and I just couldn't believe how much I
liked it. It was really turning me on. I felt his tongue trying to find its
way into my mouth and I came back to earth and started to kiss him back. My
tongue started playing with his and god, I loved it. Kissing him felt like
the most natural thing in the world. It WAS the most natural thing in the
world. It felt totally familiar even though we had never done that before.
The kiss was gentle and hesitant at first but when he saw that I wasn't
stopping him and that I was kissing him too, he closed his eyes, wrapped his
arms around my back and started to hold me tighter against him, pulling me
closer to him and his kisses became more and more passionate. Feeling his
body so close to mine, I felt a wave of pleasure wash over me and I was
instantly hard.

I could tell he was smiling as we kissed. I think he was just genuinely
happy and so was I. He put his hand behind the back  of my head and drew me
even closer to him, pushing his tongue deeper into my mouth, his finger
running through my hair. I couldn't believe how amazing this felt, I was
hard as a rock and I could feel that he was too. We started moaning a little
and continued kissing, but only using our lips now. Rob stopped and put his
head on the side of mine and smelled my hair, carressing me head with his
fingers. He pressed his body hard against mine and I lay down on the bed,
him on top of me as he resumed kissing me. God I just loved it, it felt so
good, HE felt so good. He started nibbling at my neck

"wait rob.... Rob" I said

"No, mark please, I don't want to stop, please, don't stop me, I never felt
like that, I don't wanna stop" he begged kissing my lips again

"no I don't want to stop either" I told him in between kisses, "I just,
god, it doesn't feel weird at all to do this, it feels like, like I can't
believe we haven't been doing this before. Why does it feel like this ?" I
asked him, truly wondering why the hell it felt so natural to kiss my best
friend. Was I gay ?
He looked at me and smiled. I had turned a small light by his bed when he
had been crying before so I could see him very well. God he was so cute when
he smiled, his whole face lit up and his eyes were just so beautiful, full
of passion.

"I don't know mark but I knew it would. I've been wanting to do that for
months. I was so scared you would reject me. I can't tell you how happy I am
that you haven't"

He kissed me again, small, long kisses, we couldn't stop. He started kissing
my neck again. A girl had done this to me once and it had felt amazing. I
think my neck was a really sensitive part of my body but with Rob it was
just ecstacy. My whole body shivered and he felt it which just made him kiss
me even harder. This felt so fucking good. He kissed my lips again and then
started kissing my whole face, my nose, my forehead, my cheeks, my ears. He
pulled back, looked at me and asked, his voice full of need, "can I take
off your clothes ?" I was just wearing a T-shirt and my boxer briefs and so
was he. I slowly nodded yes and he pulled my shirt over my head in one quick
motion. We were both breathing hard and I could not keep my eyes off him. He
started kissing my chest, making sure not to press too hard on any part of
my body. The bruises were starting to show.
When he got to my nipples, I exhaled and inhaled again, loving the feel of
his tongue against them. I was so turned on, I thought I would cum whether
he kept kissing me or not. It was the most intense experience of my young
life. He licked his way down, kissed my navel and started pulling down my
boxers-briefs.
He was doing all the work, I was just enjoying it, I was in total exstacy, I
didn't know what to do with myself, he was in control, he could do whatever
he wanted to with me and I think that's the way he wanted it. He had
probably thought about doing that more than once. Me, I was totally
overwhelmed by what was happening but I was loving every second of it. As
soon as he had pulled down my boxer-briefs, he stared at my teenage hard on.
It looked like he was mesmerized. He didn't touch it, just looked at it and
then he lay down on top of me, kissing me again

"god Mark, you're really beautiful, I could just look at you forever, I
love your body, you're so gorgeous, I want you so bad"

"I'm here" I moaned, I guess he had been watching me quite a lot, I did
have a pretty well-defined and well-developed body for my age, and Rob did
too. We had spent almost every afternoon at the pool during the summer and I
guess all the swimming had paid off, plus we were both quite athletic and we
did a lot of sports at school. Our skin were still tanned from the summer
but I was still darker than him. I could get a tan very easily.
He pulled me for another kiss and looked into my eyes ! Oh god, I thought I
was going to melt, those eyes were full of love and need. He really wanted
me, I could see it, I could feel it, I could sense it. He ran his thumb over
my lips and kissed me lightly

"I've been wanting you for so long, it's always been you, I don't care
about anyone else. I want to be with you. I love you mark, I love you so
much it hurts, let me show you how much I love you"

he kissed my ear, sending shivers up and down my spine and I felt his hand
touch my cock. My god, his hand around my cock, that was just too much. I
had never actually been with a girl, but at that moment, I was sure no girl
could make me feel like that. He started stroking me gently and I almost
lost it
"uggghhh, god, don't stop Rob, it feels so good, I need to cum so bad"

"I know, do you want me to suck your cock ?" he whispered in my ear  "cos
I really want to do that, I want to taste you, are you ok with that ?" he
asked me, clearly hoping that I would say yes

"oh god, yes, do whatever you want" I told him, ready for anything.

he kissed his way down my body, still smiling and lowered his head toward my
cock. He stroked it a couple of time and licked the head gently before
swallowing half of it. His mouth felt so warm around my cock, I could not
believe I had my cock in Rob's mouth, the thought and the sight of it almost
sent me over the edge but I tried to hold back. He held my cock tightly in
his mouth and started sucking me, moving his head up and down. He was
holding the base of my cock with one hand and caressing my navel with the
other. I moaned and started to play with his dark hair. He took the head of
my cock between his lips and sucked, it felt so amazing, I knew I was not
going to last much longer. Nothing had ever felt better before. He started
sucking me faster, bobbing his head up and down, taking my cock as far as he
could in his mouth without gagging. He took his hand away from my stomach
and started playing with my balls. that was it, I felt them lift up and
there was no way I could hold back this time.

"Rob, I'm gonna.....ughhhhhh" A wave of pleasure stronger than I had ever
felt before swept over me and I started cumming hard, moaning and shooting
my load like I had never shot it before. It seemed like a river of cum was
escaping from my cock and Rob kept his mouth tight around it through the
whole orgasm and swallowed my cum. I couldn't believe he had just done that.
He continued sucking on me long after I had stopped cumming and then he
licked my cock clean thoroughly. I had cum so hard, he hadn't been able to
swallow it all. It didn't seem like he wanted to let go and I didn't want
him to stop either. I loved feeling his mouth on my cock even if my orgasm
had subsided. He stroked my cock a few more times, and came back up, lying
next to me. We didn't say anything for a few seconds and I decided to break
the silence
"thanks" I told him. "that was, woow ! I didn't know it could feel that
good" He had been truly much better than any jack off session

"so you liked it ?" he asked giggling

"are you kidding !" I said laughing a little

We lay side by side and held each other. He kissed me again, caressing my
back and I could taste my cum in his mouth
"man, I can't believe you swallowed it" I said

"hey, I want everything you've got !" he said blushing a little

I was caressing his back too while we made out and I realized that maybe I
should return the favor here. I actually wanted to do it, I mean Rob had
clearly enjoyed it, why wouldn't I ?
I wanted to touch him and taste him too. I ran my fingers down his back and
pressed my hand on his ass, he was still wearing his boxer-briefs.
"Rob, do you want me to, I mean do you need to..." I was not really good at
this but he understood what I meant

"uhhh" he turned really red, "I sort of....came in my briefs" he said,
really embarassed

"you did ?" I asked smiling

"well, I just, that was really hot, I was so turned on, when you came I
just couldn't help it. I think I need to clean myself up a little" he
laughed

he kissed my nose and got out of bed. I heard him go into the bathroom and
he came back a few minutes later with a clean pair of underwear on and a
glass of water.

"oh good idea" I said. We drank and snuggled close to each other in bed.
It felt good to be in his arms, I didn't feel embarassed at all about what
we had just done and I don't think he did either. It had really felt natural
and I actually wanted to do it again.
We made out some more, caressing each other bodies a little. I loved kissing
him, I loved his scent and his touch. I didn't know if I was ready to do
what he had done but I wanted to try and I just didn't want to think about
why I had loved it so much.

"You should try to sleep" he said carressing my face. I slightly nodded
yes.
"can I hold you ?" he asked me.

I smiled "yeah" I told him.

I snuggled close to him and he wrapped his arms around me and caressed me
gently "I love you, you're safe here" he said. I did feel safe in his
arms. He protected me. He was making me feel loved and wanted.

"I love you too", I heard me say, truly meaning it, not caring about what
it meant and how it could change everything in our lives. I closed my eyes
and suddenly felt extremely tired and fell asleep in his already strong
arms.

-------

to be continued