Date: Sat, 04 Jun 2005 22:35:32 +0200
From: marc p <citizentoo@hotmail.com>
Subject: "on our way to fame" chapter 9 (revised)

The following story is entirely a work of fiction.

The story below is a love story and involves sex between adult males. If
that offends you, I wonder how you ended up here! All the usual rules apply,
if it's illegal for you to read this, don't, and if you're under 18, I
suppose it's time for you to leave unfortunately.

Thank you for checking out my story.  Sorry it took so long to write this
but
this chapter is slightly longer than previous ones so I hope it was worth
the wait

Thanks to the readers who have sent me their feedback! I really
appreciate it. It's great to read what you think of the story. Please
keep sending you thoughts, comments or suggestions, you're the reason why
it's worth writing!

citizentoo@hotmail.com

--------

chapter 9

It was Sunday night and we had been in London for only a couple of days. We
had unpacked, and tried to get more familiar with the place and the
neighborhood. It was a time when we could still walk around London without
being recognized too often, Rob was sometimes but that was all. Back then
we didn't realize how precious that was. When we were in Dublin, most
people our age knew who we were. When we walked around town, we were
stopped fairly often to sign autographs. People wanted to chat with us or
take a picture. They asked us questions, congratulated us, told us they
liked our music, that they had seen us live ... they were always nice and
civilized. We didn't really have to deal with the screaming fans, running
after us to touch us or stuff like that, not yet anyway!

People who came to see our gigs or who stopped us in the street in Ireland
seemed to be over 18, usually in their early twenties and there were just
as many guys as there were girls. Of course, Some were girls who were
probably like 16,17 but they were not the majority, and usually those girls
just sort of stared at us from a distance, whispering, giggling, not really
having the courage to approach us and ask for an autograph but if they did,
they were nice, a bit intimidated but almost never hysterical.

It had happened a few times though; you know fans waiting for us to come
out of the studio for instance or following us around during the promotion,
screaming as soon as they saw us, rushing towards us to get an
autograph. It was almost always teenagers who did this and they were more
interested in Rob than the rest of us. Especially girls. if only they knew!

Once, I had a good laugh because a girl even asked Jordan to hold her paper
so that Rob could sign her an autograph and he looked at her sadly, asking
her what it was about Rob that he didn't have. We were almost all invisible
if Rob were around. When he was not with us, we had our share of attention,
but as soon as he appeared, it was like we didn't exist anymore! What can
you do! We didn't particularly mind it though, I wasn't sure I wanted
people to feel so drawn to me and Rob didn't particularly loved it either,
because deep down, he wasn't as sure of himself as he appeared to be. He
was losing his freedom little by little, and it was only just
starting...but, hey, we had asked for it!


When we moved into the building, we got to meet a few of the people living
there. It was mainly professionals working for BMG who were living there
occasionally when they had to work in London. They seemed to be all older
than us, so I didn't know if we were going to spend anytime with them or
get to know them at all but we were probably not going to spend that much
time at home anyway. Our lives were about to take a pretty hectic turn.

The apartments we were living in were huge. I don't know why they gave us
two apartments because the five of us could have easily lived in one. There
were enough rooms in the one Rob and I moved into for all of us but only
two of them were furnished. I guess that's why we didn't all move into that
one. Damon, dylan and Jordan moved into the other one, giving us
privacy. It was a little smaller but still quite massive.  We loved the
place. It was on two stories. Rob and I had a huge bedroom and bathroom
(actually there were three of those in the apartment), a walk-in closet,
which to me, looked more like a room than a closet, but I suppose I just
had to get used to living it large.  It was poorly decorated but there were
definitely great possibilities for the place. I didn't know if it was worth
spending time decorating it because I didn't know for sure how long we were
gonna be living there, but at that time, I was thankful that we were, and I
wanted to make this a nice place for us to live. I was already coming up
with a bunch of ideas for how to do that.

The weekend had really flashed by and we had to start promoting the single
on the next day so we had to get up around 5am for an interview with Radio
One at 7. We ordered pizzas in the evening, since there was pretty much
nothing in the fridge yet and we all hung out together

At some point, I went upstairs and Dylan and Jordan joined me after a few
minutes because they were still looking around the apartment. We were truly
amazed by the size of the place. They entered the bedroom in which Rob and
I had decided to sleep, and Dylan asked me,

"hey, you guys only unpacked in this room?"

"Well, yeah" I replied

"Don't you think like, I don't know, you should at least make it look like
one of you is sleeping in the other one?" he asked a bit too troubled about
it

"Why would we do that?" I replied, with a tone that implied I didn't
exactly like his comment.

"Hey, chill out, sorry! I didn't mean it like that, you know I don't
care. I'm just saying, you're the ones who don't want people to know about
you too yet. How are you gonna explain why you're sleeping in the same bed"

"Yeah he's got a point" Jordan added "I mean the place belongs to BMG, they
have the keys, they could come over whenever they want, we don't know. And
if you have people over, they might ask"

"Yeah I suppose you're right" I sighed. "But it's gonna be a pain to do
that. I don't want to have to go back and forth between both rooms all the
time"

"Why don't you just sleep in both beds, change every couple of days, that
way, it will look like they are both used, since they will be, and I don't
know, put some of the clothes you don't wear often over there" Jordan
suggested

"Jeez, the things we have to do" I sighed again

"Yeah, well at least you can be together. God knows when I'm gonna see
Elaine again" Dylan said sadly. Oh, poor fellow! He was the only one who
was seriously dating a girl and he seemed to be pretty committed. I suppose
it was not easy for him to be away from her.

"oooh are you very sad?" Jordan joked sympathetically "Do you need a
hug?". He wrapped his arms around Dylan and hugged him tightly against him
"you know, if you need a little action, I'll go clubbing with you and help
you pick up girls, you can count on me! I might get most of the girls, but
I'll let you have some" he kidded


"You bastard! Fuck off!" Dylan laughed pressing his hand on Jordan's chest
and pushing him roughly away from him "I can wait until I see her again,
I'm not an animal"

"Alright, Fine. Prude!" he joked "even Mark is more up for it than you are"

"hey, what's that supposed to mean? When was I ever?" I said, thinking he
was talking about openly picking up girls with him

"Rob can't hear you Mark, I know what you do when you end up alone with a
certain girl" he said under his breath

"oh yeah, what's that?" Dylan heard and asked curiously

"nothing" I quicky responded. "don't listen to him, plus you'll find out
soon enough"

"we will?" Jordan asked in surprise. Ok, that was a pretty stupid thing to
say. To his knowledge, no one was ever supposed to find out about Rachel
and I sleeping together. But I guess I was trying to pave the way so it
will maybe be easier to tell them later

Thank God, Robbie and Damon walked into the bedroom and I quickly changed
the subject.

"Hey hon, so apparently, those guys think we should sleep in both bedrooms
to make it look like we're actually using the other one" I said rolling my
eyes

"ohh come on! Is that really necessary? Who's gonna know?" Rob grumbled

"well, no one yet, but that will save you the trouble of explaining why
you're only using one bed if someone asks" Dylan explained

"yeah, well, we'll have to see about that, I don't know. I don't really
like that" he said sitting on the bed

"neither do I" I said "but they're right, we did say we'll try not to give
anything away"

He sighed "I know, and I don't mind doing it outside, but this is where we
live, I mean, now we even gonna start hiding in our own home, that's crazy"

"not hiding, just, covering up the truth" I said with a shrug

This made him raise his eyebrows and he said "I really don't think it's
necessary. If people are to find out, they will. No matter how hard we try
to keep it a secret"

Dylan sat down on the floor and held his knees close to his chest, and said
"yeah but you might wanna try not to give them any reason to suspect
something, as long as you're not ready to tell anyway... and I don't think
that you are"

"Look" Rob said "I know we're not gay in an obvious kind a way, we can
easily pass for straight, but at some point rumors are going to start
whether we like it or not and you know what? I think I am ready for it. I'm
not saying we should broadcast it or make a public announcement for the
whole world to hear but if some people speculate about it or even find out,
well, we'll just have to deal with it. And even if a few people around us
know, that doesn't mean we'll have to come out publicly, right?"

"No, but there will be more risks of being outed by someone. You know I'm
sure some people would love to out us just to make some money" I told him

"That is so sick"

"I'm afraid we're all gonna have to get used to dealing with bad press,
especially you Rob, you're in the spotlight" Dylan added

Rob chuckled and said, "ohh why me? You know, if someone outs me and it's
in the paper, I'll just deny it. No, not deny it but I won't say I'm gay
and I won't say I'm straight either. Just let people speculate. Let's face
it, that can be good publicity. I'll make gay innuendoes and play with it,
that'll be fun" he giggled rubbing his right eye with his fingers.

"Aren't you worried it might change people's attitude toward the band or
toward you if they knew." Dylan asked

"I thought about that, and you know what? Right now I'm not planning on
letting anyone find out, but if we start becoming really successful, people
are gonna want to know more and more about me, about all of us. But if it
gets out that I'm gay once we're well established in the business, we
probably won't lose that many fans. And honestly I don't give a shit if we
do because I don't want any stupid homophobic fans anyway. For all I know,
we might just gain new ones! There's a whole gay community out there and
I'm sure they would stick with us if we came out! And I hope people can get
past the gay thing and just enjoy what we do. We're in this for the music
before anything else. I know I am"

"You know what I think?" damon said "I think you're right! What is
important is the music. That's the reason why we're doing all of this. If
it brings us fame and money, well I'm not gonna say no, even though I'm a
bit worried that it may completely screw us up but whatever" he giggled
... "we just can't let other people control our lives. Of course our fans
are gonna be interested in knowing some personal stuff about us but that
doesn't mean we have to reveal everything. If people like our music and
appreciate what we do, they won't turn their back on us just because you're
gay, unless they're homophobic, but in that case, they're just not worth
it"

"exactly" Rob said "look at Queen for instance, people care about their
music, that's what they remember, not the fact that Freddy Mercury was
gay. He never tried to hide it and for most people, being homosexual was
just part of what made him an exceptional artist and performer, and they
completely accepted that. Well, I'm sure there were some journalists who
wrote shit about him but at the end of the day, it wasn't such a big deal,
same for Elton john or...!"

"or George Michael ... whenever he'll decide to do his coming-out" I
giggled. I was so sure this guy wasn't straight

"yeah maybe" Rob laughed

"he just can't be straight! I'm telling you!" I stated

Jordan laughed "Jeez, even you speculate! So Rob, tell me, are you
comparing yourself to Freddy Mercury ?" Jordan asked

"I'm not saying that" he answered modestly

"you should! Dream big Rob! It doesn't cost anything and it might actually
become real! It has so far!"

He smiled, looking cute and sexy, with a little sparkle in his eyes that
was always there and that made him look irresistible. Thank god I had some
self control because I felt this urgent need for a few seconds to push him
down the bed, rip off his clothes and make love to him right there.

Damon continued the conversation by saying "it's not something we have to
worry about right now. But we're all in this together, if it affects you,
it affects all of us. Just be careful ok, you both know we'll support you
whatever you decide, but just make sure you make the right choices for
yourselves and for the band, that's all"

"We'll try" rob answered

"yeah" I agreed "but just for the record, I think that if people find out
about us and ask at some point, it would probably be best to just be honest
about it. I don't want to be forced to lie to protect us when I'm not even
sure we really need to hide it from people. I don't wanna lie to everyone
like I'm ashamed of being gay, cos I'm not! I mean, not straightforwardly
admitting it is one thing but if we say that we're straight and then we're
outed by someone or we decide to come out, then our fans will just feel
like they've been lied to".

Rob nodded "Anyway" I said leaning toward him and giving him a quick kiss
on the lips as I look deep into his eyes" if someone finds out that I'm gay
and in love with you, I might tell them it's none of their business, but I
will definitely not tell them that I'm not and deny it like it's something
to be ashamed of"

He smiled and said "Neither will I" and kissed me softly as I caressed the
back of his neck "unless maybe if it's an absolute necessity" he added and
I punched him playfully on the arm.

"yeah, ok! you mean in case that person is a journalist working for the
Sun?" I laughed

"yeah something like that! You just can't trust these people"

"Ok! Don't you think we should get some sleep, what time do we have to
leave tomorrow?" damon asked

"Tom is coming by around 5.30," I answered

"ohh my god, is it always going to be like this?" Jordan whined. "I'm so
not a morning person. I'm already tired just thinking about it"

We knew we had to go to bed, but we kept hanging out for another hour
before the guys finally left. Rob and I went to bed around midnight and
fell asleep almost right away.

I was sleeping soundly, dreaming I was in a labyrinth, trying to find my
way out. I was hearing bells so I was doing my best to place the sound
because I was pretty sure the bells were coming from the exit of the
labyrinth, indicating me in which direction to go when I finally woke up
and realized with difficulty that I was in bed and that it had just been a
dream. I wondered what it meant.  However, the sound didn't stop and I
realized that the bells I had heard in my dream were actually the sound of
someone ringing the doorbell insistently.

I rolled over on my back and started sitting down on the bed looking at the
clock radio. It was 4.30. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I searched
for Rob but I realized he was not in bed. I figured that he had probably
got up to answer the door so I snuggled under the covers again and let him
take care of it. But the doorbell didn't stop ringing. I waited for a few
seconds but still it kept ringing more and more insistently.

"Fuck!" I screamed, I didn't want to get up. "Rob! ROB!" I called. No
answer.

I reluctantly got out of bed and clumsily put something on and went
downstairs still calling Robbie but he still didn't answer. Shit, where was
he?

I turned on the lights and made my way over to the door, preparing myself
to do some serious yelling. I didn't particularly enjoy being awaken from a
deep sleep and forced to get up at 4.30 in the morning.  I swung the door
open but what I saw left me stunned and speechless.

Rob was standing in the hallway, butt naked, his hands over his dick,
looking all embarrassed

"I locked myself out," he giggled

I looked at him and looked around, trying to understand how he had managed
to do that and I giggled too. I couldn't even be mad at him. He stepped
inside jumping up and down and rubbing his hands up and down his arms to
warm up his body. I suppose the hallway was not the warmest place to be
locked naked in. I realized the comical side of the situation and I cracked
up. I kept seeing the expression on his face when I opened the door, lost,
embarrassed, cold, a bit scared and amused too and it was just too damn
hilarious.

"Well I'm glad you find this so fucking amusing," he said laughing too. "I
woke up and I wanted to make some coffee so I was looking for the kitchen
but it was too dark and I was so sure it was the kitchen door. I closed it
behind me"

I laughed harder and asked "why didn't you put something on and turned on
the lights"

"too much trouble, I wasn't thinking straight" he replied

"When are you Ever thinking straight?" I joked. He laughed and continued
"so I ended up in the hallway, and I looked for the sink or the switch but
I couldn't find anything. I was freaking out, I didn't know where I was" As
he continued his story with difficulty because he was laughing too, I sank
to the floor and really laughed my ass off, imagining him lost in the
hallway and especially figuring out he was stuck naked out of the
apartment.

"and then I finally found the switch in the hallway and I realized where I
was. But this damn door was locked of course" yeah, the front door was one
of those doors you need the key to open them. I hated that. Always need to
take the key with you when you're going out, what a pain!

"Man, and you, how long does it take you to come down and open the door. I
must have rung that bell for 10 minutes at least" I split my sides
laughing. I couldn't catch my breath properly, my cheeks were aching and I
was beginning to cry but I couldn't stop. You know how it is, once you
start, it's really hard to stop.

"Excuse me, I was sleeping! oh, you're killing me" I managed to say between
fits of laughter

He started walking toward the stairs and I stood up, wiping the tears from
my eyes

"hey, the kitchen is that way" I laughed, pointing toward the kitchen

"oh right" he said turning back, probably remembering that he initially
wanted to go into the kitchen. He took a few steps toward the kitchen but
stopped again "Oh no, forget it, I'm going back to bed, I'm freezing" and
he turned back again and ran upstairs, his dick jumping up and down between
his legs

I followed him, saying in French "oh si t'existais pas, faudrait
t'inventer"

"what does that mean?" he asked. He never really paid attention in French
class. Over the years, I usually did all of his homework and gave him the
right answers during exams. I think he could understand if I spoke slowly
enough and he concentrated hard but he didn't want to bother trying.

"if you didn't exist, we would have to invent you"

"oh! Is that so? Well, thank you I suppose"

He was always doing stupid stuff like that. There was this time a few weeks
ago when he was so tired in the morning, he took the shaving foam and
confused it with the deodorant spray. He pressed hard on it and before he
actually realized it wasn't deodorant, his armpit and upper chest were
covered with shaving foam. And I went "you know, if I wanted to date
someone with a completely smooth body, I wouldn't be with you" He ended up
shaving his armpits and chest that day (he had a little hair on his pecs
now, which made him look even sexier) and I laughed about it all the way to
the studio. God, I loved him!

I tried to think about something else because it was becoming painful to
laugh but every time it started to subside, an image of his face in the
hallway flashed before me and I started laughing again.  When I entered the
bedroom, he was snuggling under the cover, warming up his body and I joined
him. I lay on my stomach on my side of the bed and buried my face into my
pillow and laughed again uncontrollably, my body shaking a little. I was
completely unable to hold my laughter in.

"Stop" he begged, laughing too, but more out of embarrassment. He rolled
over onto my side and sat on my ass to tickle me where he knew I would
hopelessly beg for him to stop.

"stop laughing!" he ordered. That was not the best way to make me stop but
why not after all. He knew how much I hated being tickled and I would have
to stop laughing if I wanted him to stop.

"ok, ok" I honestly tried, for 5 seconds. I took several deep breaths and
turned around on my back but as soon as I saw his face, I cracked up again.

"Come on" He took my pillow and put it over my head to stifle my laughter,
but I forced it off me and he hit me playfully with it. I pushed him down
on his back and kneeled on the bed. I took his pillow and slammed it
forcefully on his chest.

"were you trying to kill me?" I asked and hit him again with the pillow

After that, we started wrestling on the bed. We slammed our pillows into
each other and tried to pin each other down. As we wrestled we came closer
and closer to the edge of the bed. I tackled him and as he tried to push me
away and to get away from the grip I had on him, he fell off the bed with a
loud bang.

"are you alright?" I laughed, lying down on my stomach, resting my chin on
the edge of the bed and looking down at him

"oh damn, what was I thinking getting out of bed this morning?" he moaned
lying on the floor, holding and massaging his right foot that he had
probably hurt. "come on we need to get a move on. I'm afraid of what might
be next if we keep this up. Tom is gonna be here soon, let's take a shower"
he yawned and got up

"so you're giving up? I win?"

"sure, whatever"

We stepped into the shower, which like everything else in this place, was
pretty big. Rob turned it on and I realized that we maybe should have
waited for the water to reach the right temperature before stepping in. As
expected, the cold water sprayed on us mercilessly and we jumped and
screamed

"Fuck, can't anything go right?" Rob complained and I shook my head no and
smiled.

I took the soap and started applying it on his chest, caressing him. Our
little wrestling session had made me horny and seeing the water spray over
his hot, naked body made my cock beg for attention.  "I bet I can make you
feel better", I told him, stroking my cock to a full erection, making sure
he saw my state of arousal.

"are you trying to have your way with me?" he asked smiling. I moved and
stood behind him to kiss his broad shoulders and run my fingers over his
flat, tight stomach, hugging him from behind.  "like you don't want me to!"
he turned around and gave me a peck. "mhm, we have to get ready, we don't
have time"

"ohhh, come on, we can always make time for sex" I whined running my hand
over his firm ass and squeezing it. "and just in case you haven't noticed,
I'm rock hard, and I don't want blue balls so I'm gonna get off, whether
you help me or not"

He smiled and took the soap "fine, you do that while I wash myself, I'll
just watch" he grinned at me

"you pervert" I laughed, "I understand why you were standing naked in the
hallway now".

He just laughed and gave me a wicked grin

"so, when is this show going to start?" he said, massaging his chest with
his soaped hands

"I think it already has, for me anyway"

I leaned against the shower wall and squeezed my cock, as the water sprayed
over my body. I watched him closely as he washed himself, staring at his
every move, at every little inch of his beautiful body. He was glancing at
me every few seconds, trying to look uninterested by what I was doing. When
he was done with the front of his body, he turned around and passed his
hands over his ass sensually, knowing exactly what he was doing to me. I
stared at his ass, finding the sight of it extremely exciting and started
stroking myself faster.

I wanted to get off quickly, Rob was right, we had to hurry, so I bit my
lower lip, threw my head back and closed my eyes as I began beating myself
off furiously, moaning a little. I concentrated on what I had just seen and
imagined I was touching him, roaming my hands all over his body, kissing
his chest, rubbing my cock against his and then taking his semi-hard member
in my mouth and feeling it grow inside me, until it was fully hard, sliding
between my lips. I was getting close; I slowed down my pace for a few
seconds and again stroked myself fast when I felt Rob's lips on my
nipple. I moaned as he licked around it and bit it gently between his
teeth. I looked down at him with lust and saw the same expression in his
eyes.

"Do you have any idea how hot you are?" he asked me and kissed my neck as
he forced my hand off my cock and replaced it with his, stroking it as fast
as I had been stroking myself.

"I thought you didn't want to be a part of this" I smiled

"I changed my mind, you're too hard to resist" he kissed me deeply, holding
my chin and as he looked into my eyes and fastened his pace on my cock, he
whispered "come on, cum all over my hand, cum for me baby. I love your
cock, you're so hard, you feel so good"

"ohh" I moaned "I'm close"

"mmhh what are you thinking about? Tell me."

"You" I muttered "I'm thinking about you"

"yeah? You want me baby?" he asked kissing the area right behind my ear. I
moaned and he took my hand with his free hand and pressed it on his chest,
making me run my fingers between his pecs and over his abs "I'm right here,
you can have me whenever you want" I touched and caressed his body and as I
felt his soft skin against the palm of my hand as well as the little hair
on his chest, he took my cock between two fingers and finished me off. I
grunted as I began to pump my load all over myself and his hand. I quivered
and whimpered a little as I enjoyed the feeling of release.  When I was
done cumming, I opened my eyes to see Rob grinning at me

"you jerk, now I'm rock hard, you're happy?" I smiled and tried to recover
quickly from my orgasm to take care of his.

I turned him around and backed him up against the shower wall. I pressed my
left hand against it for support and forced my tongue inside his mouth
kissing him hungrily for a few seconds, as I grabbed his cock and jerked
him off furiously. We really didn't have time to make this last.  My hand
slid fast up and down his shaft and he moaned when an ounce of precum
escaped his slit. He was getting close and I kept up my pace. In my effort
to get him off rapidly but with maximum pleasure, I soaped my fingers and
pressed one against his hole. He pushed back on it and it easily popped in.

He eyes shot open and he gasped and relaxed again "ohh yeah, make me cum,
feels good" I moved my finger around and found his prostate. I massaged it
a few times, and he groaned and whimpered, leaning his forehead on my
shoulder. I continued jerking him off and my finger slid back and forth,
teasing his prostate gently.

"are you close?" I asked and he nodded slightly, concentrating on my hand
on his cock and my finger up his ass as he caressed my back. I wanted to
make this good for him. It was not something I did often but I was in the
mood so I started talking dirty to him "mmh I love touching you. You like
feeling my finger in your ass? Does it feel good? ... Imagine I'm fucking
you, I'm fucking you hard, I'm slamming my cock hard and fast deep inside
your ass. Can you feel it?" I moaned, inserting another finger inside him
and fucking him with two fingers and he clung to me.  "you love it when I
fuck you, don't you? I bet you want me to fuck right now. I could cum deep
inside you. Yeah, imagine I'm cumming inside you, come on cum with me, now,
come on baby " I urged, jerking him off fast.

He let out a groan and started cumming really hard between us. I watched as
a thick rope of white semen shot out of his cock followed by 4 or 5
others. He came a lot and by the time he was done, my hand was covered in
cum, the water spraying on us washing it quickly away.

"ohh that was so good! you're amazing, I love you" he said, still leaning
his body against the wall. He touched his cock and shuddered a little,
feeling too sensitive. He took a deep breath and just stayed there,
basically waiting for his orgasm to subside.

"Now we're really gonna be late" I laughed and started washing myself. I
had done a great job of turning myself on too and I was hard again but I
didn't do anything about it. We really had to get ready.

We finished washing ourselves and quickly got out of the shower to get
dressed. My orgasm combined with all the laughing from earlier had made me
want to go back to bed and sleep some more, and I'm sure Rob was feeling
the exact same way, but we tried to fight it off.

Around 5.30, the guys came by, ready to go. I opened the door to them
saying, "cool, you're all dressed up, that's a relief"

"What?" damon asked

I was about to tell them but Rob came downstairs and spoke before I could

"Are you ready?" he asked them. He picked up his jacket on the couch and
went into the kitchen and I started laughing again "rob, this is the
kitchen you're going into, not the hallway"

"ah ah ah very funny" he yelled

"I didn't get it" Jordan told me. I shook my head no, just to tell him it
really wasn't important and that it couldn't get the joke

Tom called us on my cell to tell us he was outside with our driver, waiting
for us and we headed outside (yeah, cos we had a driver now hehe, thank you
very much, well it wasn't always the same guy, but we were being picked up
all the time when where we had to go had something to do with the band, so
cool).  On our way to the radio, (and to fame as well hehe) I had the
hardest time staying serious. We were all pretty quiet, I mean it was 5.30
in the morning. We had been briefed one last time by Tom for about 5
minutes about what we were supposed to do and say during the interview but
after that everyone grew silent and I had no distraction to take my mind
off the image of Rob, lost, panicked and naked in the dark hallway.

I tried to think about something else, something really depressing, like my
father beating me up. I don't know why I was doing this to myself, thinking
about that but it didn't last more than a few seconds. My father was
someone I was trying to forget had ever existed. I did my best not to look
at Rob, because I just knew I would start laughing as soon as I'd see his
face but I just couldn't help but think about it and on top of that, I
imagined what would have happened if someone had come out of their
apartments while he was in the hallway. I pictured the look of surprise on
the person's face and the look of embarrassment on Rob's and that did it. I
just couldn't hold it anymore and I broke into laughter again, for no
obvious reason to the guys or Tom. I laughed hard, holding my face in my
hands, doing my best to hold it in but it was impossible.

"What's so funny?" they asked me confused.  I looked at them, unable to
speak and shook my hand before burying my face in my hands again.

"What?" they asked

"nothing" rob replied quickly "he's just going crazy. It's too early for
him"

My laughter was infectious and the guys started laughing too, even if they
didn't know why, even Rob did and after a few seconds, they were laughing
as hard as I was.

"What is it Mark?" Tom asked "Whatever it is, you could share it with us if
it's so funny"

I looked at Rob, begging for permission to tell them but I didn't get it. I
guess he knew I was going to make jokes about this little incident for
days, probably even weeks, maybe months or even years lol and he didn't
want the guys to do it too.

"you shush, or I'll tell them something else"

oh oh, he had me here. I really didn't want them to find out about Rachel
like that. I know when I'm beaten so I didn't insist.

"ok ok I'm done" I said trying to regain my composure. I wiped the tears
from my eyes and tried to breathe more normally but I still couldn't help
giggling occasionally.

"hey hey what's with all the secrets?" Damon asked but we didn't answer. I
just tried to make it look like I had just been laughing for a stupid
reason that wasn't even worse mentioning. Like they wouldn't even
understand if I told them. You know the look!

"What the hell was that? you'll tell me later?" Jordan whispered in my ear
but Rob heard him

"no he won't, there's nothing to tell" rob said. Jordan looked at me with
an expression that said "you'll tell me" and I nodded, giggling.

With minimal laughter after that, we made it to the radio, where we were
welcomed with open arms by programmers. They were treating us with respect,
taking our work seriously.  Tom had done a great job of talking with
professionals about us, selling our music and our image. Thanks to him, we
were entering a very private world rather easily. He was an excellent
manager.

The guy in charge of interviewing us offered us coffee and briefed us
rather quickly and then we gave a live interview, we answered the
listener's questions and performed the single live on the air. The song was
called "misjudged". It sounded very rock.  It started as a ballad with only
Dylan playing the piano for the first 30 seconds and then it gradually
gained strength once we all started playing. There were all those changes
in the melody and tempo as it went on. When people heard it for the first
time, I was sure they had no idea it was going to finish the way it did. It
was fucking brilliant! The music was getting louder and louder throughout
the song, coming back to a quiet and peaceful sound near the end before
ending with a pretty powerful riff that I played.

The lyrics were meaningful and deep, the kind of lyrics that make you
rethink some stuff about yourselves and give you goose bumps in the
process, especially with Rob singing them! No really, it was brilliant! It
was different from all the songs that were on top of the charts in England
at that time, that's why we had people's attention! We were different! Good
different!

The album was to be released two weeks after the release of the single. We
couldn't wait to see how people were going to welcome the album but about
the single, the reviews were already unanimous. Throughout the country, you
could read "A really exciting New band" "Shaking their way to Fame and
Fortune" "Mega success approaching, definitely not to be missed" ...it was
always positive! Let me tell you, it sure makes you feel good about
yourself when you read this in the paper.  The one I liked the most was a
review in NME no less, saying...

Behemothic, colossal, elephantine, enormous, gigantic, hulking, humongous,
immense, jumbo, king-size, mammoth, massive, mighty, monumental, monstrous,
planetary, stupendous, titanic, towering, vast, whopping, Just how big are
U-N-I going to be in the future? Words fail us ...

I couldn't wait to meet the person who had written this ... I already loved
him or her whatever!

With the release of the album coming up, we didn't have any time for
ourselves. We did promotional work, and promotional work only.  We shot the
video for the single in one day. That was so much fun. We started at 7am
and finished at 3am the next day, maaaad! But it looked good! Really good!
We didn't bother coming up with an idea for the video. Other people did it
for us. It was actually the first time we even did this. We hadn't shot any
videos for the first album so we didn't know how it worked. All I can say
is that watching the final version had been an amazing moment. Rob looked
so gorgeous in the video, I think I had a tiny orgasm just watching it!
This was a video I was going to watch over and over again, let me tell you!

Watching it, I thought about all the people who were going to drool all
over him and it just made me feel extremely special to be the one he
loved. As expected, his eyes were just amazingly beautiful and the
producers had seen the possibilities there. They had made some close shots
of his eyes as he sang some of the most powerful lyrics of the song and it
was just breathtaking to watch. It was for me anyway. But I couldn't see
how people could not feel the same way. This video had been the cause of
several hot lovemaking session.

As soon as the album was released, we were all over the place, going from
TV sets to TV sets, from radio shows to radio shows, giving interviews,
signing autographs, meeting different people every day, even famous
people. It was crazy! We also did photo shoots for the press, but
considering we were not going to be marketed in teen magazines, we didn't
do that many.  We thought we were ready for this but I'm not so sure that
we were after all. It was stupid and we never meant it, but sometimes we
just wanted to move back home to Ireland and forget we had ever started
this band. We weren't getting that much sleep because we were often invited
to parties by people in the business and unfortunately, we always had to
get up early on the next day so we were starting to be pretty tired but it
was all so worth it. We just ended up drinking coffee 10 times a day and
waited for things to slow down a little.

We seemed to be handling it pretty well though. I think that if we had had
that kind of success with the first album, we would have gone crazy. It
would have been too much. I was glad that things had happened the way they
had.  But at times, it was still just a little too much to
handle. Especially for Rob. I don't think I could fully realize what it was
like for him even if I was with him all the time. Whenever we were out in
public, he had to give so much more of himself than the rest of us because,
as I told you, before people even talked to me or the guys, they wanted to
talk to him. They wanted his autograph, they wanted his picture, they
wanted his attention basically and he had to give it to them whether he
wanted to or not.

After a few weeks of promotion in England, it was time to start promoting
the album in Europe. It had been released in many countries, but we had to
go over there and promote it ourselves to make sure people would hear about
us.  We headed to France and Germany first!  When we landed in Paris, I was
overly thrilled. Now, I was still in a phase where I was just trying to
forget I even had a family, so speaking French was obviously not the best
way to do that.

Except that strangely, I loved the language. So I did my best to block all
the bad memories out and to tell you the truth, I was so good at it that I
was actually starting to forget plenty of things about my family. The guys
were regularly talking to their families. I tried to call my mother a
couple of times, but I always ended up hanging up feeling downhearted and
unloved.  We had nothing to say to each other and she was always cold on
the phone so I gave up. She obviously didn't care. I'm not sure why I even
bothered trying.  I didn't want to talk to my brother, he had always been
mean to me, not to mention my father, and my sister was ok I suppose, but I
just didn't really know her. We had never talked or tried to know each
other. It's weird how you can be part of the same family and yet, feel like
you're complete strangers.  If they wanted to know how I was doing, they
could call me. They had my number. But they never did.

"ok Mark, you're my official translator" Jordan told me minutes after our
arrival "you've got to translate my every word. French girls, here I come!"

"in your dreams!" I laughed

"like you're gonna have time to flirt with girls anyway" Rob told him

We stayed in Paris for a week and I did become their translator,
complaining all the time because man, there were supposed to have learned
it in school. They were asking me to translate every little thing, down to
the easiest word. Of course they were doing it on purpose because they knew
it was pissing me off. That was the price I paid for being nice to my
friends and doing their homework. They hadn't learned anything.

Anyway, we were coming back to our hotel after giving a special performance
in the Virgin Mega Store sur les "champs Elysées" and I quickly ran into my
room, and took a piece of paper and started writing down a melody that had
popped into my head in the cab and that I had tried not to forget since
then.

I was lost in a very creative moment when Rob came in the room. We were
sharing it but again, we ended up messing up an unused bed every
morning. Tom had told us they were pretty much going to book three rooms
all the time, no more, so we had to choose who we wanted to share a room
with. So it was an easy choice. Damon and Jordan usually stayed together
and Dylan shared a room with Tom.

Rob sat down behind me on the bed, wrapping his legs around me. He started
kissing my neck and I tried to move away from him

"come on, not now, you're gonna make me forget my ideas" He grabbed my
crotch and squeezed it firmly, pulling me closer to him and said as he
kissed my neck

"do you realize we did not have sex at all for 4 days? Fuck, I didn't even
have a wank" yeah, we had been pretty busy and tired, what can I say?

"Noooo, how terrible!" I said over dramatically, so he'll know I didn't
really care about that. "so if we've been able to go without it for 4 days,
I'm sure you can still wait a few more minutes"

"I don't think so" he said squeezing me to him, kissing my neck with
intensity and massaging my cock through my pants.

No matter how hard I tried to concentrate on the melody, I knew I had
already lost the battle. In a matter of seconds, he had me hot and horny
and I surrendered to his touch, especially his firm grip on my package. I
moaned and he took his clue. I was his; he could do whatever he wanted to.
He turned around and sat in front of me, wrapping his legs around me again.

He pulled me close to him and nibbled at my neck saying, "you smell
good. I've been horny all day. I couldn't wait to be finally alone with
you"

"well you are now, enjoy it" I told him We kissed, sucking hard on each
other's lips, making it almost painful. There was nothing gentle about that
kiss. It was driven by a pure animal desire for each other. There was a
passion emanating from him that turned me on like crazy. He was usually
more into making love than fucking but I was pretty sure there was not
gonna be anything romantic about that session. We were gonna fuck.  He
unzipped his pants and pulled out his hard cock. He stroked himself and
took my hand in his, bringing it to his hard member.

"you feel this?" he asked sensually

"mmh mmh" I moaned licking his lower lip

"you feel how hard and hot I am?"

"yeah" I smiled

"that's for you, YOU make me hard, I want you so bad, I want you so bad it
hurts" he moaned, holding the back of my neck with his strong and soft hand
and kissing me.

"I want you too" I groaned and kissed him hard. He broke away from me and
took all of his clothes off, never breaking eye contact with me. I was
mesmerized. All I could do was smile and stare at every inches of his
gorgeous body as they came into view. He kneeled on the bed in front of me
and I regained my senses. Before he had time to do anything else, I reached
for his cock and held him in my mouth

"ohh" he sighed. I started bobbing my head up and down his shaft and he
lifted up my t-shirt. I took it off, letting go of his cock and he pushed
me down on the bed to take off the rest of my clothes.  He pushed my pants
and underwear down to my ankles, and climbed back up to kiss me. He grabbed
my hair and said, his lips millimeters away from mine

"I'm so hot for you. I'm gonna suck your cock until you cum hard down my
throat and then I'm gonna fuck you, I'm gonna fuck you hard, and make you
cum again. "

"oh god, yes" I moaned, feeling a wave of lust swept over me. He licked my
nipples using his whole tongue, lapping them up and I took a deep breath,
enjoying the feeling. My cock got harder and he quickly engulfed it in his
mouth.

I immediately felt my cock enter his throat. He didn't gag but he still had
swallowing reflexes that felt damn good. He pulled back and held my cock
tightly with his tongue. I don't know if he was serious about wanting me to
cum in his mouth but I felt like if he kept this up, it was not gonna be
very hard to do.  I started rocking my hips slightly to add to the
sensation and he pulled his mouth off my cock and said "That's it, fuck my
face, give it to me"

Oh god, if he wanted it that way, I was not going to argue. I kneeled on
the bed and he gently bit on my cock a few times before swallowing me down
to the base again. He pulled off and repeated the action, burying my cock
to the back of his throat. I started moving my hips and fuck his face like
he wanted me to and he moaned. He began bobbing his head up and down on my
cock and after a few seconds he pressed his hand against my ass and forced
me to slam my cock down his throat again, his hands moving down to my
balls.

I shivered and pulled out of him before slamming my cock back inside his
mouth. I held the back of his head and fucked him fast, feeling my climax
approach. I knew I was being rough but he had asked, and judging by the
noise he was making, he didn't seem to mind. I let him take my cock down
his throat only when he wanted to, not forcing him but he kept trying to
take all of my seven inches cock in his mouth and he did a great job of
controlling his gag reflexes.  I closed my eyes and threw my head back. He
took the base of my cock in his hand and jerk it off roughly. He sucked
hard on the head and buried my meat down his throat again. I withdrew my
cock slighltly and with one final thrust pushed back in, shooting my load
down his throat, letting escape all the cum I had been saving up for the
past 4 days. I quivered as I felt the cum shoot out of me. He pulled back a
little and continued swallowing every drop of cum that escaped from my
cock.  When I was done, he raised himself up so we were face to face. I
grabbed the back of his head and I kissed him with a lot of ferocity,
tasting myself in his mouth.

I took his thick cock in my hand. He was rock hard and I asked "so, you
wanna fuck me now?"

"yes please, I want that very much"

I propped myself up on my hands and knees in a doggy style position and he
kneeled behind me. I heard the bottle of lube clap open and then I felt his
hand on my ass. He open me up with a lubed thumb. He slid it back and forth
a few times and applied some more lube on my hole "you're ready?"  "yeah,
fuck me, just fuck me"

He put his hands on my hips and I felt his cock push up against me. A few
inches of his cock slid into me and he pulled out and pushed back in a few
times until he was completely buried into my ass.

I moaned "ohh, yeah, you cock feels so big, fuck me". He withdrew his cock
completely and slammed it into me again, grabbing my hips. I let out a yelp
and he did it again hitting my prostate.

He started fucking me faster, as he slid his hands up and down my ass
and caressed the small of my back. I was loving it. I didn't want him to
miss
my prostate, it felt too damn good when his cock poked against it so I kept
urging him to fuck me deeper and harder. I could feel the sweat forming on
my forehead as I slammed myself onto him, forcing him to push his cock as
deep as he could into me. I felt a drop of precum escape the tip of my
cock, which was hard again and slapping up against my stomach and I brought
my hand to it, spreading the precum over the head.

As he fucked me, we moved until I was facing the head of the bed. He held
my shoulders with both hands and I grasped the headboard as he started
fucking me hard and fast, pounding my ass, his cock sliding against my
prostate upon every thrust.

"uuggh" I moaned "god, yes, you're so fucking good, fuck me". He did as he
was told and we both let out a groan as he pulled his cock out of me and
reentered me again. He let go of my shoulders and lowered himself down a
little to wrap his right arm around my chest and hold my cock with his
other hand. He continued sliding his cock in and out of me, only
withdrawing half of it before pushing back in and he slowly made me raise
my upper body so that my back was pressed against his chest. He made me
move me closer to the headboard and I grasped it again. We both kneeled on
the bed, and he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly against
him as he kissed my neck, moaning a lot. He roamed his hand all over my
chest and I tilted my head back to let him lick my neck and I shivered and
moaned louder.

"Oh god" he cried out as he slid his cock fast in and out of me "you feel
so good, I'm gonna cum" He let out a groan and exploded inside me, panting
and breathing heavily. I felt his cum invade my insides and he continued
fucking me, enjoying his orgasm to the fullest, slowing down his pace more
and more, until he pulled out of me, letting some of the cum escape my ass.

I on the other hand, was still rock hard and damn close to cumming. As soon
as he pulled out of me, I collapsed on the bed, breathing hard. My hole
felt like it was on fire but I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not. I
hoped the burning sensation was going to subside soon but it had been so
damn good, I didn't care that much.  I lay on my back, and started jerking
myself off to climax, thinking we were pretty much done. He took my hand
and pushed it away and as I looked into his eyes, I saw an expression that
he usually had when we were about to have sex, not when we were finished.

He reached for the lube and lubed up my cock, which almost made me lose
it. He positioned my cock at his hole and lowered himself onto me slowly,
taking his time to swallow my cock with his ass. I felt his warmth engulfing
me and I groaned "ohh, baby, you feel good, you're so warm, I'm close"

He lowered himself down to kiss me and moaned "Finish yourself off inside
me, I wanna feel you cum in me"

I looked into his eyes, he had just cum, but he still wanted to fuck. He
wanted to give me maximum pleasure by making me cum inside him. The
realization of that, of just how bad he wanted me, made me want him even
more and I almost came as I started rocking my hips and thrusting my cock
in and out of him, as I caressed his chest. I stopped almost right away,
concentrating hard on something else not to shoot my load too quickly and
make it last a little but when I stopped, he started moving.

"don't, you're gonna make me cum"

he laughed "that's the whole point" but waited for a few seconds. My need
to cum started to subside and he watched me closely and asked "you're
good?"

"yeah" and I started fucking him again. He didn't move and I pressed both
my hands on his thighs and slid my cock in and out of him. Rob's hands
pressed against the mattress on each side of my head and I sped up my pace

"ugh yeah, right there, fuck me" he urged, apparently starting to enjoy
himself again as my cock hit his prostate and teased his own cock again.

As much as I wanted to fuck him all night long, I was too worked up and
there was just no way I could last. Again, I felt an overwhelming need to
cum come back too quickly. I couldn't help it, he was just too
gorgeous. Watching his toned hard body on top of mine, the look of pure
pleasure on his face as I thrusted hard in and out of him, watching him
slam himself onto my cock, trying to get me to fuck him deep and fast, I
couldn't help it, it was a sight that turned me on way too much. I pressed
my hands on his biceps and yelped and whimpered as I felt myself going over
the edge for the second time that night.

"uggh, I'm, I'm, god" I let out a high-pitched sound that I didn't know I
could make and unloaded deep inside him a still pretty big amount of
semen. I continued gently rocking my hips to let his ass squeeze the last
drop of cum out of me, moaning quietly, until I went soft.

My cock slipped out ff him and he collapsed on top of me, nuzzling his face
in my
neck. I turned my head to the side and my cheek pressed against his ear. He
raised his head and our lips met in a loving kiss. We hugged each other
tight and tried to slow down our heartbeats.

"I think we need to shower" I heard him say. Next thing I know, I was being
awaken by someone banging loudly on the door.

"Guys" Dylan screamed "hello, open up, are you coming down for dinner? Open
the door, we have great news" he said yelling

I was barely awake and I just didn't have the energy to answer him, because
that would have meant screaming so he'd hear me and that was just not
possible. I let him knock on the door a few more times and he finally gave
up.

Rob stretched next to me and yawned "mmmhh, wow I don't even remember
falling asleep. What time is it?" he asked

I looked at my watch an answered "8.15"

"god, I really needed that, I feel so relaxed" he said, snuggling close to
me

"I know, me too" I yawned "Wanna take a bath?"

"sounds good"

So we took a hot, relaxing bath together. We must have stayed in there for
over an hour, during which we both came again, after a lot of making out,
caressing each other as we washed ourselves, eventually reaching a climax
in the process. It was very loving. We touched each other very tenderly,
and I don't know why but I felt the need to tell him how much I loved him,
maybe because there hadn't been anything very loving in the way we had
fucked before. I must have told him at least ten times from the time we
entered the bath to the time we got out. I loved these tender moments with
him, when we would just make out, talk, hold each other and enjoy the
closeness.

We put something comfortable on and snuggled together under the covers to
watch TV. There was a French movie on and we started watching it

"Are you hungry?" I asked him, realizing I was.

"Not so much. But there are some crisps and stuff like that in the bag over
there if you want"

I got the food and we had a snack in front of the TV. I had no trouble
understanding the movie. It was a very funny comedy and every time I
laughed, Rob asked me what they had said and I got quickly tired of it

"oh geez, shut up, that's what they said" I laughed and he whined, acting
like he was really hurt, almost making me feel bad.

"ohh, sorry, t'inquiètes mon Coeur, je t'aime quand même"

"that, I understand" he said, kissing my forehead

At the same time, there was a knock on the door and we heard Jordan call
us. I was very comfortably settled on a pillow against the headboard and
getting up to open the door was really not something I wanted to do.

"ohh man! Can you go open the door?" I asked

"why do I have to go? You do it"

"oh come on, I asked you to go first, so you should go"

"What kind of logic is that?"

"it's perfectly logical"

"well I'm not going" he said

we heard Jordan yell "Are you in there? come on shoot you load already and
open the door"

We laughed and Rob asked insistently "Come on, go!"

"No! You don't even care about the movie, you can barely understand"

"I can too" he complained "ok, Rock paper scissors?"

"I always lose at this game"

"I know" he giggled

"fine" We made a fist and counted to three. He made a paper and I made a
rock, which made me lose, again!

"Damn! Every time. I just hope Jordan is not stuck naked out of his room" I
laughed

"oh my God, how long are you gonna keep bringing this up?"

"pour toujours, mon amour" I joked

I got up and walked to the door, feeling a bit sore you know where. I
opened up the door to see Jordan and Damon cheerfully waiting for us to
open.

"Are we interrupting something?" Damon asked. I shook my head no and they
came in

"so why didn't you come down for dinner?" Jordan asked

"you don't wanna know" I said, and they looked at me suspiciously.

"I'm sure we don't, so Tom didn't tell you?" Damon asked

"no, what?" Rob asked them

"ok, listen to this! You're ready?" Jordan asked

"yeah, what's going on?" I said

we're nominated for the MTV Europe music awards in November, and probably
for the Brits in England as well" he told us happily

"No Fucking way" I screamed

"holly shit, for real? We are? what category?" Rob asked getting up
excitedly from the bed. Now what was the point of arguing and making me get
up if he was not even gonna stay on the bed?

"that's the best part" damon said "we are nominated for best breakthrough
and best
song"

"oh my god, two nominations? That's awesome, are you sure?" Rob asked

"well yeah, of course I'm sure, it's already all over the internet, they
announced the nominations this afternoon"

"and what about the Brits, where did you hear that?" I asked them

"Tom told us" damon answered "He's working on it. If we win an award at the
EMAs,
we will definitely be nominated for the Brits."

"ohh geez, this is huge, oh my god" I said, completely thrilled. Jordan
hugged
me and we jumped excitedly up and down. "Do you think we have a chance to
win?"

"Mark, of course we have a chance to win, hello!" Damon exclaimed
"Come on, `misjudged' is in the top 10 almost everywhere in Europe,
everybody loves
us, we're gonna get this. And we still have 3 months of promotion to make
sure we get
plenty, plenty of votes" he said in a funny voice "ok, maybe we won't get
best
song, but we'll definitely get best breakthrough"

"hehe, that's so cool, who else is nominated, do you know?" I asked

"oh not really, but I know we're competing against Hanson for both
nominations, you know the kids with the long hair, eww, but I don't know
who else is nominated" damon answered

"Hanson? We're definitely gonna win then" rob said, happy and sure of
himself

"hey, you don't know that" I told him "they've got all the screaming
teenagers on
their side"

"so? So do we!" Rob said "And our single is so much better than theirs. What
is it?
That MmmBop song, it's not that good"

"it's entertaining" I said

"Whose side are you on?"

I grinned and at the same time, my cell phone rang. I reached for it and
saw that it was Rachel calling, which was not a surprise; she called me
every day around that time, because I had more chance of being available in
the evening. We were talking to each other almost every day on the phone,
but I gotta admit, I really missed her.

"Hello girl" I said picking up

"who is it?" rob asked me "Rachel" I mouthed.

"oh, again! let's go to your room" he told Damon and Jordan "it can be a
while when he's on the phone with his girlfriend" he said, emphasizing the
word girlfriend but I sensed a bit of humor in the way he said it.

"Hello Rachel! Your boyfriend is gonna be a award winner soon" Jordan
screamed at the top of his voice and she heard him and laughed. I told her
what I knew about the nomination, which was very little and she was
thrilled. I think none of us could really totally realize what was
happening. We were just surfing the wave, trying not to fall off the
surfboard and enjoying the ride as long as possible.

After talking for a few minutes, I asked her "did you hear what Rob said?"

"not sure, but I think I heard him call me your girlfriend"

"yeah, exactly"

"How are things going with him? Does he still hate me?"

"He doesn't hate you. He's just a little bit worried"

"You know I really did my best to make him understand we just messed up big
time
and that I was not trying to steal you away from him but I don't know if
he's
ever going to believe me"

"Yeah I know, but you know how he is. Telling him that is like preaching to
the converted. He knows I love him and he knows he shouldn't feel this way
but he
still does. He'll get over it. just a few growing pains."

"yeah, I hope so. But he's still avoiding me though. I mean he's the only
one who never calls me"

"he talks to you"

"yeah, when you and I are on the phone. And it's not like he's telling me
anything about himself. I hope he'll get over it. I don't want him to feel
like he has to put up with me. We used to be close but now he just doesn't
tell me anything anymore"

"it's gonna take some time, but I'm sure he's not going to behave like this
forever".

"Yeah, but maybe if you stopped checking out girls, he wouldn't be so
worried"

"I do not check out girls" I said annoyed

"you don't? I just wanted to see what you would answer to that" she laughed

"why?"

she was silent for a few seconds "rach, are you there?"

"yeah ... can I ask you something personal?"

"sure, but I might not answer"

"ok, when you see a girl that you find attractive, do you, like, get hard?"

"Rach!"

"what? Come on answer my question please, I have a reason for asking"

"well, I used to, but lately, not so much"

"yeah that's what I thought. And when you see a hot guy, beside Rob I mean,
do you?"

"There're no hot guys beside Rob!" I laughed

"oh yes there are, you're living proof that there are quite a few. Rob just
happens to be your type! Well, he just happens to be a lot of people's
type. So, do you?"

"That can happen" I giggled

"yeah, so you know what? I think you're 100% gay."

"I'm not denying that"

"No, but whatever interest you used to have in girls seem to have vanished"

"How do you figure that?" I asked agreeing with her, but wondering what
made her think that

"Just from stuff you've told me. Before you talked to me about girls
sometimes
in a way that implied you were sexually attracted to them. That's why I
thought I had a chance with you. But now, you never talk about girls
anymore. But you do talk about guys. You sort of changed your attitude. I
think you went through a bi phase when you didn't really know for sure what
you wanted but now, it's pretty clear that you're more sexually attracted
to guys than girls. It's like me, sure if I see a cute girl, I'm gonna
think to myself, oh wow, she's pretty because I have eyes, but that doesn't
mean I want to touch her, or have sex with her. And I think that's the way
you feel too now"

"Man, you did your homework" I laughed

"So you think I'm right?"

"I know you're right. But lately, I'm just attracted to Rob" I laughed
"God, he's just so sexy and perfect. I swear, if he gets any hotter, I
don't know what I'm gonna do with myself."

she laughed "I don't know, blindfold him or something"

I laughed too "oh that would be ok if it was the only part of him that's
driving me crazy"

"ok, we're entering the TMI zone"

"yeah, ok, but you gave me an idea here" I joked "so how are you since
yersterday? How is my son doing?"

"Now, would you stop saying that? What if it's a girl?"

"can't be"

"oh god! I'll find out in a couple of weeks. I don't suppose I can expect
you to show up to the doctor's appointment?"

"Give me the date and time, who knows? I can try. But I don't think I'll be
able to come, even if it's only for one day, it depends on where we are and
what we're doing I suppose"

"ok, well it's September 3rd, 2pm".

"ok, I'll talk to Tom"

"So I suppose you still haven't told the guys since the last time I asked
you?"

"um, no"

"come on Mark, what are you waiting for? Are you waiting for the baby to
tell them?"

"No" I laughed "I will. I'll tell them. I'm just waiting for the right
time"

"there's never gonna be a right time. Just get it over with. If you don't,
I will, I'm getting tired of it. Plus it's really noticeable now, so their
parents could see me and tell them and they'll be mad at us for not telling
them first.  Plus Jordan and Damon keep calling me all the time and it's
really frustrating not to talk to them about it. I mean geez, they keep
telling me about all of the exciting things you guys are doing and I just
have nothing interesting to tell them about me. And what am I supposed to
say when they ask me why I can't come and see you in London. This summer it
was easy, I just told them my parents wouldn't give me the money and you
were too busy anyway, but the other day, Jordan asked me to come when you
guys will be back in London. He said you'd pay for the trip and all. I just
don't know what to tell him"

"I know, I know! Fine, I'll do it soon, I promise. So how are you feeling?"

"huge and fat" she complained

I laughed "I wish I could see that"

"shut up, this is all your fault, I swear, if my belly doesn't go back to
normal, I'll sue you"

"You realize you're only half way through"

"Do you want to make me cry and hang up on you?"

"you're gonna be fine" I told her

"yeah well it's easy for you to say, you don't have to do it. No instead
you live the life of a rock star, traveling all around the world, I hate
you"

"no you don't"

"I will if you keep living it up like that while I just keep ballooning up"

"oh, well, I'm afraid you're gonna hate me then. But just for the record,
we haven't exactly been traveling all around the world"

"that's next. I just hope you won't forget to take me with you" she giggled

"How could I? But look, if I can't come back for the doctor's appointment,
Rob and I are trying to convince Tom to let us take a few days off in
October so we can come back home. It's been so long since we've been gone,
it'd be really nice to spend some time at home"

"oh ok. yeah, I bet Rob misses his family. Oh I've seen Justin today
actually, man, that kid is getting really cute, he's a little rob 2, he's
gonna be a heartbreaker"

"yeah I know. Man I miss them"

"oh that'd be so cool if you could all spend a few days here. Why in
October anyway?"

"oh well, you know, kind of a 4 year anniversary. It'd just be nice to
spend it at home. That's where it started"

"damn, 4 years? Have you been together that long?"

"yeah. That's so weird, it's like yesterday, I was still 14, dreaming about
everything we're doing now"

"god, time really flies, doesn't it? I'm so happy for you guys. I can't
believe any of this is happening to you, but it's just so awesome, did I
tell you about the article in Heat?"

"yeah, you did, like 3 times"

"oh right, sorry, it's just so cool!"

"I suppose, but I'm much more interested in the article in Hot press" yeah,
Heat was a gossip magazine, Hot press was a music magazine, you see the
difference!

"yeah sure, but still! Oh guess who I saw today?"

"who? Justin?" I laughed

"Nooo, Sarah Hayes. I didn't see her once since we finished school, and all
of a sudden, she comes by and asks me if I'm still talking to you guys. And
I just couldn't resist so I told her `oh yeah, sure I'm pregnant with one
of them" she laughed

"you didn't!"

"yes I did! You know me, like I was gonna miss the look on her face. That
was pretty fun. You know, it made me think, I'm the perfect cover for you
if you want people to think you're straight, well at least, as long as I'm
single"

"I know" I laughed "so what did she want? an autograph?" I joked

"yeah actually, she tried to get as much information out of me as she
possibly could, but she was nice, she stayed for a couple of hours. It's
just weird how people try to get in touch with you, just to get to someone
else. I mean, I was never really friends with her in school"

"yeah, we're gonna have to get used to that"

We talked some more. I could easily stay two hours on the phone with her
and still have something to talk about. We finally hung up and I joined the
guys in their room. There was an euphoria in the room as I came in that
made me wonder what it was going be like if we actually won an award!

-------

Thanks again for reading. I hope the story is going in the direction you
want it to go. If some of you like the drama, it will probably come back in
a few chapters.

Don't forget to tell me what you think. I need motivation lol
citizentoo@hotmail.com